"I kept my wife’s corpse in a room for 3months hoping she'd wake up - Christy Essien Igbokwe’s husband | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 19 July 2014

"I kept my wife’s corpse in a room for 3months hoping she'd wake up - Christy Essien Igbokwe’s husband

The husband of late iconic singer, Christy Essien Igbokwe, who put Nigeria on the world music map with her song, Seun Rere, Edwin Igbokwe, has opened up on his grief and denial following her death on June 30th 2011, saying he left her corpse in a room in their home for 3 months hoping she would wake up. Below is what he told Saturday Punch
That morning of her death, pastors and other prayer warriors ended morning prayer in her room; she whispered amen, and then slept off. It was exactly 9a.m. I felt dazed, shocked and awed when I was told I lost my ‘everything,’ my companion and the love of my life. Jebose, I caved into denial zone. We immediately moved her body to a room in our home, unknown to many. My late wife warned that her body must not be deposited in the mortuary. I had to respect her wishes. So we decorated a room in our house and laid her down. She was beautiful, peaceful in her sleep. The media and the enlarged burial committee members didn’t know where she was after her death. She lay in that room for almost three months. I was going crazy. I didn’t want to believe she would not wake up. She was smiling peacefully. I couldn’t believe it. I made sure I looked at her every day. I was confused, depressed, dejected and hopeless. The children began to monitor me. I was still in denial, hoping she was asleep… she would wake up. I kept reassuring myself. She never did." Find the full write up after the cut...

Thirty five years ago, I married my soul mate and lifetime partner. She was Nigeria’s lady of songs, the late Christy Essien Igbokwe. I was a 26-year-old executive at The Punch while she was a 19-year-old songstress and actress that mesmerised Nigeria’s entertainment and theatre scenes with her young, affable innocence. Through those years, we celebrated togetherness and profound love, a love I felt the first time I blessed my eyes on her; a love that grew stronger each sunrise, until 9a.m, June 30, 2011. With each day’s sunset, our love blossomed, like flowers bloomed in spring. We stayed as one through the challenges of life. There were years of aches and pains, tears of joy and electrifying laughter. We stayed together and survived the rough and tumbles of life. We shared everything until it was time for her to go. She lived half a century.

“As I walked down Jebose Boulevard, I tried to accept and appreciate all that life privileged after her eternal transition. It is over three years since Christy died. The denials, the depressions, forward from her death are paths to healing. I missed and mourned her tenderly. Time and support from friends and family were therapies to a second chance at life, living and loving. No one understands the discomfort and trauma of losing a dear family member such as your siblings, your parents or wife, a dearest lifetime partner; (the cherished one you swore before God and the people to love till death do us part), until it happened to them: We are never the same when we lose those that we loved and admired. A part of us leaves with them. Every one of us would come to that place in our lifetime; what matters is how we handled our different circumstances and who would be there to comfort us as we grieved. The mourning season may never end. I can imagine days of guilt, days of tear drops on the pillows and silent wails for losing my dearest wife. The pain is part of passionate memories, of a privileged, shared moment in our lives. These walks with you, Jebose, ignited emotional past pains of losing my late wife and a closure of tragic and traumatic chapters of my life.

Christy was special and spectacular. She was a prophet. She revealed when she would die to the children and by extension, to me: she revealed to us that she had only half a century in this ‘wicked world;’ she told me that when death came, it would be middle of the year. She shared with close friends and members of the family, her end time. I always dismissed her because I was not ready to lose her. She told our children that she would live for 50 years and that any single day thereafter, they should be thanking God. She died June 30, 2011 at age 50.

During one of our affectionate conversations, she told me she would be sick for three days before her death. She said she would exit without burden to anyone or herself. I didn’t believe, until it happened: four days before her death, she complained of stomach ache. We went to the hospital for scanning and treatment: the hospital placed her on overnight admission and began treatment, but she wanted to go home. Her desire to go home was bolstered by hospital’s electric power interruption. The hospital’s generator was also broken down. She said rather weakly, that she wanted to go home since the hospital had no electricity. I honoured her request. We left the hospital for our home. Halfway into our street, the doctor called and informed me that the generator suddenly activated, surprisingly nothing was wrong with it, we could return to continue treatment; we were almost home, my wife said she didn’t want to go back to the hospital.

“The next day, the illness continued at home. She refused to go back to the hospital: the doctor came to the house and placed her on a drip. Even though she was weak, she was active and independent; she refused any assistance; not even a support on the staircase and into the car, as we set out for hospital again, having encouraged her to return to a different hospital for re-examination. I drove her into the waiting arms of doctors who further examined my late wife in a specialist hospital (Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, Ikeja). She was placed on admission. She was seeing things and in her own world, as she lay ill, she was concerned about the staff and other patients in the hospital. She was kept overnight because of the diagnosis. The second night, she requested prayer warriors to begin intense prayers, not for her but for us, the living, and for her peaceful transition. She encouraged nurses in the hospital to pray: she would whisper prayer points and choruses. She muttered some messages to our God-son, George, who was with me in the hospital. We went into frenzy shouting for joy when she mentioned that ‘we were victorious and it was all over.’ By 5.30am June 30, 2011, we witnessed deteriorating changes in her health. I phoned Obi, our first son, and he quickly arrived at the hospital to assist. I dashed out to seek a transfer for her to another (the intensive care) room in the hospital. I left Obi and George with pastors and prayer warriors who arrived to pray with us. Something happened while I was gone. The mood changed when I returned. I smelt sadness from the travelling breeze within. The mood was solemn. I saw the sad faces of hospital staff and my son: I felt strange. Everyone from the doctors tried to find a way to tell me she had died… One of the midwives called me to the side and said I should brace up because my wife died few minutes then. That morning of her death, pastors and other prayer warriors ended morning prayer in her room; she whispered amen, and then slept off. It was exactly 9a.m. I felt dazed, shocked and awed when I was told I lost my ‘everything,’ my companion and the love of my life. Jebose, I caved into denial zone. We immediately moved her body to a room in our home, unknown to many. My late wife warned that her body must not be deposited in the mortuary. I had to respect her wishes. So we decorated a room in our house and laid her down. She was beautiful, peaceful in her sleep. The media and the enlarged burial committee members didn’t know where she was after her death. She lay in that room for almost three months. I was going crazy. I didn’t want to believe she would not wake up. She was smiling peacefully. I couldn’t believe it. I made sure I looked at her every day. I was confused, depressed, dejected and hopeless. The children began to monitor me. I was still in denial, hoping she was asleep… she would wake up. I kept reassuring myself. She never did.


“I finally accepted her death when the pallbearers came into that room and placed her in a coffin for the Commendation Service at Arch Bishop Vining Memorial Cathedral, Ikeja on September 9, 2011 and from there later through the Muritala Mohammed Airport, Ikeja to Akanu Ibiam, Enugu airport en route Awka, Anambra State for funeral service and burial the next day. I knew then, that my best friend, my partner, my soul mate, the mother of my beautiful children, was truly gone.

“After the burial, I was alone and lonely, I felt guilty for her death. I never expected to bury my wife. I always prayed that when my time was up, she, our children and grandchildren would bury me. I began to question God in these transitional periods: I was near complete depression because life was no longer interesting to me: I was lonely and mourning my wife. I was empty. I told everyone that I would never remarry because no woman could replace my late wife. I was suicidal.

After her burial, the pain continued as life began to settle into normalcy, I began to see her in my dreams, encouraging me to live my life. She said she knew if I had the privilege of spending more time with her, I would have corrected certain things in our lives. She said I must move on with my life. Throughout our 32 years, we shared everything: we never separated from the same bedroom. The only time we separated was when we kept her body in a separate room while planning her funeral. Counselling from well-wishers helped me to begin to accept a life without her.

“Her appearances in my dreams encouraged me to move on. In one of such appearances, she told me: “I came and I have fulfilled my destiny on earth. I wished I stayed longer but that was my destiny and God’s words must surely come to pass in our lives. I am not coming again. I am happy where I am. It is well with all of you! Please I want to be remembered always in happiness. Stop getting worried any longer because you do most times. You cry often for missing me and wished that I lived so that you make some amends. It is too late now. You should move on. Your focus should be how to live long for our kids. Advise them properly and correct them positively whenever they go wrong, for their own good. Take good care of them and their offsprings as long as you witness and always bless and not curse any of them. (She smiled…..) I never cursed any of them. I only tried to make them look forward to being independent as my last days on earth approached. Because you need to live long for the kids, you can remarry instead of running into some temptations that are building up. Pray hard. God will show you the right person. The person should not be very young. She must be older than our first kid. She must be able to stand in for the sake of the kids but she must not participate directly as one of the owners in any of our already established companies unless with express permission of all the kids. She will obey you. I must be respected. You know other things that would make the relationship to be soothing to me in death and useful to you in life unless if you want to continue to deceive yourself. You must not allow her do anything you know would not be pleasing. You are an intelligent man, I did say this often and I leave you to your conscience (she smiled…) till we meet to part no more. My love to all still existing and I want all to know this.”

“If she didn’t appear to me in my dreams, I wouldn’t have remarried. I remarried after three years of her death. Time reversed everything. I didn’t want a situation where I would be bringing different women to our home: After the dreams, I began to consider marriage again. Being alone may not be the problem, the problem is the temptations that loneliness and being alone ferment. That would be very disrespectful to her memory and our children. I remarried, with her blessings. I am no longer mourning but her memories are indelible.”

111 comments:

Unknown said...

So touching. Accept my sympathy sir. May God give u de fortitude to bear de loss. May her soul rest in Peace.Amen. I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN*

BONARIO NNAGS said...

May her soul continue to rest in peace.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Anonymous said...

I dnt trust wht his sayn. Pretex4luv@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

oh my God! now dis is creepy!! wtf?

obietrezy said...

So touching. God please let me see my own futue wife in my dreams nau so will stop ballin'..hahahaha

Alloy Chikezie said...

Na wa o! Wonders will never end, how can people be so brain washed and stupid sometimes? Smh


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Anonymous said...

The death of a loved one can cause depression and even make life meaningless. I'm moved by his ordeal but aint got no tears for him.
www.justhealthng.blogspot.com

Debbie Chelsea said...

Eya

Anonymous said...

Touché

Girl Next Door - Virus Detected! said...

Huh? Awwwww n wtf?

CHERRY said...

Contunue to RIP. Touching story.

Unknown said...

Love...


C.E.O

Anonymous said...

New comer

Desmond 2 d G said...

RIP

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
This is really serious and to think she gat family, only God knws the state her family will be in nw.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Is so damn painfull to lose someone yu so much love to heart when yu have imagined that yu both will grow old together...... May her soul R.I.P....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Catatan Info said...

thanks

Anonymous said...

True luv neva dies nd linda betta post ♍Ɣ comment. #prettysophia#

Anonymous said...

Na wa oo! So scary

Anonymous said...

If she didn’t appear to me in my dreams,I
wouldn’t have remarried.
Are you for real?
Cooldavoe@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, dats very touching.

Anonymous said...

Awww. So touching. It can be suicidal to lose a loved one o. Most especially a spouse. God will be with you Mr Igbokwe.









CoolDiva speaks!

Anonymous said...

OMG...
I felt very unease after going through this piece. My head swelled. I felt cold. Some people are actually living spirits who knew the exact date of their exit in this world.... Gushhhh, what a weird story!!!

Unknown said...

So touching! May her blessed soul continue to rest in peace

Anonymous said...

The last part of this epistle don't go well with me...
#walks out

comfort said...

Hmmmm

bonita bislam said...

Time they say heals all wounds but never the scars ! His story reminds me so much of my mama,its like they forsee death even before it happens.And when it does,we stay in state of denial until hours creeps to days,days accreting to months,and months crawls to years.Then the reality sinks in.Its never easy to lose someone!

ary said...

That's not love, that's weird!

Aphrodite said...

#Dazed!!! From this post, the man must av really loved his wife, nd its a gud thing he remarried, cos Lonliness kills faster than anything sef.

Anonymous said...

Eeyah feel so sorry him,may her soul rest in perfect peace

Unknown said...

Very weird I tell u.....its either she's living somewhere beyond....who knows? Or she might be possessed then, no one can tell. Rest on Christy

Esther said...

Hmmm,rili I felt I was reading a fiction. All I can say is dat is dere still dis kind of luv?? To luv whole heartedly. Cgestheruko@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

wow..

Anonymous said...

This man is suicidal and what a funny story! How could you keep a dead body in the house for 3 months? You must be sick!!!

captain prech said...

I actualy cried reading this!!.. Realy touching

Anonymous said...

aba linda... wat shd we do with this piece.. the guy self has remarried.... how can you keep a corpse in the house for three months.... dis story is fake....mtcheww...





Anonymous said...

Depression is real... Lord have mercy!!

mummy Ada said...

I don't believe this man, must be a ritualist*

Anonymous said...

3 months in the same house with a corpse .... this man is an occultist.. he should be imprisoned....*by harry potter*

Angie said...

Hmm... I don't blame him.
I'd do something similar if I find myself in his shoe; letting go can't be easy!
Sleep on Christy......


* My R1.50c comment *

DON PAFEGS said...

Oh dear, Death is something else...i agree with him on this one - "...a part of you leaves with the person" That's how i feel about my Mum's death. May there souls RIP

Read Funny 18+ Jokes here.

Anonymous said...

she was such a rare gem we miss u

Unknown said...

Weird and interesting

#king said...

speechless..........................................#KingOfKings

Kay said...

So touching, good a thing you moved on. May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace.
Talk2kayyy@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Are you looking for a suger mummy or daddy please call dis line 09096552678 please be mature...

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm, wat a touching revelation, I pray we all end well in life IJN. Continue to RIP

Anonymous said...

Awwwww I almost fell for it, till he mentioned he remarried so won't b bringing different women home, bull crap. Honor ur wife's memory r u a dog with an itch? It's ni1 biz if u decide to remarry but spare us the bull crap. You waited 3 whole years afta ur wife of 35yrs before remarrying. I m so impressed NOT. Oga pls face ur work and stop making a spectacle of ur self. Drama king

Unknown said...

Hi guys kindly visit www.mapleservices.com.ng today #recruitments #opportunities

Ogeh Akpevwe said...

Weird and interesting

Unknown said...

God knows the best

Theodora said...

So after this long write up is only 3 years dat u could wait? I taught u wil wait atleast 10 yrs to morn her? Anywar jst sayin

Unknown said...

Nna this story d fear person abeg!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Hmmmm...

Amarachukwu. said...

What a long story...

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmm, just speechless

Unknown said...

See goose pimples all over my body , what a strange story! May her soul continue to rest in peace .

Anonymous said...

Wow. I believe this so much. It is very true.

Anonymous said...

Life full of diff stories...
Strange world we leave



BORN TO SHINE!!!!

Maiya j arowora said...

Extremely weird story eyah but then RIP ma.

Karma strikes said...

He is trying to justify his new marriage.

Anonymous said...

Just an excuse to remarry after only 3yrs of the death of his wife of 3 decades. I dont believe most of it. Men will say anything to cover up their ways. If you were so darn close, 3yrs is not enough to mourn! Not buying it!

prettydordor said...

Death can be very painful esp wen d person is a loved one. May her soul continue to rest

Anonymous said...

rip...patoswife@gmail.com

APPLE said...

Men!!!!! Sharp sharp he has remarried!

Anonymous said...

Abeg he should go and sleep, just wasted my time reading this long epistle, Only for him to conclude it with the fact that he got married.She gave her consent for where that one dey happen, if he truly loved her I don't think he'll allow another woman in so soon or at all sef.

Anonymous said...

I just hope his second wife can deal with the fact that her husband will never love her as much as he loved his first wife.

And if it's possible to know the date of your death, it's also possible to speak health, wealth and happiness into your future too.

There's power in the tongue. Life is what you say it is.

Kimmy *****

SVC said...

May God Give you and your famıly the strenght and fortıtude to bear the loss. IT İŞ WELL

Anonymous said...

One question, Hw was d corpse preserved for 3 months? Some thing doesn't sound right

Anonymous said...

I was 100% sure by the end of this story he was going to say he remarried. I was right!

Unknown said...

Werid story.

Anonymous said...

Hmm hmm like ma mother would say.Am sorry about your lose sir, buh you could have insisted letting your wife understand that you prefer to wait a bit longer before remarrying because you love and miss her.That way she may have said just remarry when you feel comfortable, or sir is this the time you feel comfortable? after three years?? Again sorry about your lose.

Anonymous said...

Bonairo get a job *troll alert*

Sue said...

This christy's death has been spoky, I hope she wasn't occultic, she predicted her death like she had a covenant /pact & lived her life with that in mind,
The devil never gives anything free, he gives N1 and takes N1million, just 50 years for such a talent, without d devil, God would have blessed u much more, ur death & talent gone is a big loss to dis country, rest in perfect peace ma'am

Anonymous said...

The shallowness that reeks from some comments that one comes across on this blog......Simply worrying.

Every human is capable of varying depths of spirituality, and some people are fortunate to experience a bond, especially in marriage, that transcends the physical aspect, and which makes letting go when one party departs a massive struggle.

I've found that some men who have loved their partners terribly, usually don't stay long before remarrying. Depressing loneliness being the key instigators. Also Mourning a loved one is not always enough to kill a strong libido. In which case, remarrying may actually be a more honourable thing to do than sleep around in illegitimate relationships.

And when a spouse dies, the vows have ended as 'till death do us part' . So people should stop this sentimental and ignorant rubbish of "he/she couldn't even wait longer" like they were in either of the relationships with the person.

Anonymous said...

Were ni e~barack obama says so

Anonymous said...

LOL sounds weird but my dad kept his mother's body for more than a month at home! in her room! were she lived b4 she passed, guess wat? at 1st we all took of from the house, but in a second thought, he was not ready to let go of her so soon, though she died in her ripe age, but he still felt he could have prevented her from passing and was in denial. I could understand wat this guy was going through. having said that, I think all these he is saying, is just story so he doesn't get backlashed for remarrying, but who really cares, she is gone n u r free to remarry without explanation.

jbankzE said...

Mr man ds ur story ddnt go well wif me @al,too many lies nd seekin fr pity frm Nigerianz won't hlp d fact dat u hurt ur wife wen she was alive..... Oya tell us d finz she tot u would ve correctd nd plz stp sayin she told u 2 remarry,jst say d woman u remarried has alwayz bin ur gf. *am outta hea jare,men wif lies nd cheats*

~@iamJbankz Olamide's PA~

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but I don't believe jack! Especially when he now said that she talks to him in dream and even asked he should remarry! My God Mr man ure a liar! A sick liar.

Anonymous said...

Follow@esmeralda_ng for all your affordable accessories.

cassie said...

Flowers die,stories change buh memories can't be 4gotten*i feel ur pains* I once lost someone dat meant so much 2 me.may her soul continue 2 rest in peace Amen

Anonymous said...

Very creepy. How did he keep the body from decomposing in those three months? Dude's got skills.

Anonymous said...

KEPT HER CORPSE FOR 3 MONTHS ..WHERE IN THE HOME..IN THE FREEZER.. WHAT ABOUT DECOMPOSITION...HOPE THIS MAN IS OK

Anonymous said...

Hmmm! Can one keep a dead body in a room for three good months without embalment? Na wa for this man story o! Well, may Christie's soul continue to RIP.

Anonymous said...

Abeg there's more to this story!was already saying awwww till I go to the part whre he said she appeared to him in his dream and asked him to re-marry!after all the long epistle,he waited for ONLY 3 YEARS!JUST 3 YEARS?!for a woman u profesy so much love for and u guys were married for 35good years!mehn there's a part 2 to this story Linda,trust me!may his wife's soul continue to rest in peace,Amen...

Anonymous said...

...But she didn't...RIP to a soul selecta...@Fortunedexcel

Anonymous said...

Didn't she smell or deteriorate?

Anonymous said...

Just a way to justify his new marriage,oga it's your life don't try to impress anyone............pretty T

Anonymous said...

You are entitled to ur opinion. You need to lose a person close to your heart to appreciate all he just said.

Unknown said...

May she rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

what a pity... nkemdirimeverista111@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Alright. I believe the story buh that 're-marry' part is too cheap a stuff for me to buy. Aren't buying it at all.

dessymal said...

#goose pimples

Mr Talker said...

If you know how sweet this Lady was you will know what's it means...You are the creepy one....just shot ur mouth n don't say "WTF" in such a pathetic story like this one...she was a difference kind of woman,a rare gem and a mother to me, to my friends and to so many people...she was Awesome

Anonymous said...

Oga marry if you want to marry u don't owe anyone any explanation, death has happened. Na so pastor taiwo odukoya sef run go marry after bimbo died.....I just wonder y African women dnt remarry dt sharply.

Anonymous said...

I did too

Unknown said...

I was touched at d beginning and all, but when I saw he married after just 3 yrs, well I don't know what tp say again

Nkeiruka C. Ogbuokiri said...

Very touching story by her husband.

Linda...you copied this paragraph twice beginning with - "It was exactly 9a.m. I felt dazed..."

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!!!!3 months?..what happened to decaying,smelling and rotting of the corpse?..I wasnt moved with this story.it seems incredulous...Rest in peace ma'am. For easy#quick#legit cash...please click on this linnk. http://TheWeeklyJob.com/?id=11331

Anonymous said...

She is truly your soul mate but quite unfortunate She did not live long. Pls accept my sympathy and move on, since She has say so herself. On the last day you will meet to part no more.

Anonymous said...

Oga tales by moonlight, if you waited three years before you remarried, the question is how long did you date sisi new wife? Where you meet am? Na you Waka go abi na only she waka come? My assumption is that you dated for three years before marrying sisi new wife. Do your maths! Ehen, keeping a corpse for three months inside where? Fridge or freezer? Abeggi

Rachael Olomuza said...

May her soul continue to rest in PEACE...

Anonymous said...

I don't trust this story. The man just wanted to justify marrying soon after his wife's death after professing suicidal love. So when she was telling him all that in his dream, he was writing it down. Talk! And notice how most of it focused on Remarriage. I smelt a rat. And it was confirmed when I got to the end where he said he remarried. Nonsense. Abeg face your marriage and stop thinking everyone is stupid with this kind of stories

Anonymous said...

Exactly! So annoying

Anonymous said...

He's just telling stories. Dishonest. I bet he was even dating the woman while his wife was alive. Imagine the dream recounting

Anonymous said...

Spot on! Drama king

Anonymous said...

So what was happening to the corpse in the 3 months? His love prevented it from decomposing? Story! Ritualist

Anonymous said...

Banario,abi bonario,u are so damn idle!
U are such a jobless lawyer with a wig!
Sure say u pass law school????
Haba! U too d comment!
Na Linda"s 50k bonus d do gigigigi for body niii????


Anywaz back to the matter,abeg d Old man had a side chick.
Mrs Igbokwe was a witch,she hated Christian songs with Passion or Yes,a christian musician who is quite popular (Rosemary chukwu) went to help her when she started,she sd d late igbokwe said she doesn't like christian music.

Abeg Mr joe Igbokwe,abeg go and rest,I won't be surprise if ur new wife is younger than ur daughter inlaw...

Its pastor kumuyi that I know that married for companionship,,all u Old men,una to like ""Yapia"

Anonymous said...

...if at age 61, you can't control your emotions such that you mat be bringing different women to our home, then you have a problem.

sharon said...

He remarried in 3 years, but remeber he must have been fucking earlier than that.

Anonymous said...

Christy hated christian music? i dnt think you have listened to her songs pls do. Now on the matter, this man is a story teller. My dear Mr Igbokwe a clear conscience fears no accusation.

Anonymous said...

love ke? dis man too lie and too many stories that shows he is suspicious even before Christy died he was dating dat Oluchi girl and immediately after Christy died. We know him very sad! but God can never be fooled. lets see how he ends.Innocent people say few words he definitely has skeletons in his closet hence the epistle.who asked him anyway?

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