Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: 10/07/2007 - 10/14/2007





Thursday 11 October 2007

Sex Before Marriage + Other News

Let me start by saying happy Eid-ul Fitr (hope I got the spelling right) to all our Muslim brothers and sisters. Wishing you all a happy celebration. (There's public holiday in Naija, today and tomorrow)

Now to today's topic. A comment from the last post inspired today’s topic. Sex before marriage.

We all know it's wrong, extremely wrong...but it happens...everyday. Most brides I see nowadays are pregnant brides...

Who has something to say about this?

I will leave you guys to discuss this…if I talk now, they’ll say Linda has started again lol

Ok, I’m sorry but I have to say something…

This is what I think about sex before marriage

I am totally against one night stands.
I am totally against casual sex.
I am totally against multiple sex partners
I am 100% against adultery…don’t sleep with another woman’s husband…that’s so wrong on every level.

But am I against sex in a committed relationship? Couples who love, respect, trust each other? Couples who make life meaningful for the other? Two people who share common interests, goals, ideas, love and walk the line together but are not legally married? Am I against sex in that kind of a relationship?

No, I’m not.

Why? Because in a perfect world, fornication and adultery is extremely wrong and against everything the bible teaches us...but the problem is; we live in an imperfect world. God knows that...probably more than we do...that's why he hasn't destroyed this world and forgives us everytime we ask for forgiveness.

Let me stop here. What do you think?

Other News

Here are pictures of Tuface recuperating in the hospital, courtesy Nigerian Village Square. He was shown on almost all Naija TV Stations talking to fans and well wishers

Prison News: According to our government, there's an on-going prison reform. Which is a good thing...but then they announced that as part of the reform, prisoners will now get N200 worth of meals each day as against N150 they used to get. That's something to celebrate? Hiss! I'm not hissing because of the money...some people who aren't in prison eat less than that a day... my grudge is that a large number of prison inmates are languishing in jail AWAITING TRIAL. Some of them are there without ever going to court or being convicted. They just remand them in prison until the courts can find time for them. That is so unfair. If they are serious about this reform business, they should go through prison records to determine those that should be in prison and those that shouldn't. And convict them first before calling them convicts.

Asa .H. Coon, a 14yr old white male, suspended from his school, Success Tech Academy Alternative School, yesterday Oct 10th, opened fire in his high school, wounding four, two teachers and two students and killing himself. Thank God no one else was killed. Seriously, how does a 14yr old have access to guns over there? Don't they have a gun control system in the US? How can almost anyone have access to a gun and start popping people because they're angry at the world. That's not nice. Anyway, get all the details online.

Living legend, Michael Jackson was recently diagnosed with Lupus...I don't even want to think about this for another minute.

They say BBC is planning to reduce its workforce by 12%.That means that 2,000 people are going to be fired very soon! Does anyone know why this is happening at BBC?

Singer and Actress, J LO is said to be months pregnant with twins...if this is really true, then I'm mighty happy for her.

Also Madonna is said to be leaving her longtime record label at Warner Music Group to sign a $120 million recording and touring deal with Live Entertainment promoter, Live Nation Inc.

Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced to six months in prison yesterday Wednesday Oct 10th, for violating her probation stemming from one of many drunk driving arrests and convictions. The actress failed to complete her community service, and lied about doing it when she didn't. That's wasn't smart of her...

Also, whitney Houston's estranged...or is it former husband? Bobby Brown was said to have been rushed to the hospital yesterday after having a mild heart attack. With his lifestyle and drug use, I'm not surprised he's having a heart attack at such a young age...but he denies it though...saying it was just a mild chest pain. I hear you Bobby.

They say Pamela Anderson is pregnant for hubby number 3, Rick Salomon, Paris Hilton's sex tape partner, y'all remember him? Hollywood...what a hood! The way they pass their men around is hilarious

Here's also saying big ups to Samuel Okon Peters, for putting Nigeria in the world map by defeating his opponent, Jameel McCline on Saturday Oct 6th, to become World Heavy Weight Champion. He is from Akwa Ibom and will be returining home soon to celebrate his victory and heal from the wounds he sustained from the fight. Very proud of him.

Also, here's condoling the family of the AIT reporter who died in Geneva, Switzerland. She was part of the entouarge that accompanied Senate President, David Mark for the World Parliamentary Conference in Geneva. Nigeria made a withdrawal from the conference as a mark of respect to the deceased AIT (A TV station in Nig) Senate correspondent. I don't know how she died...no one is telling us that. But it's sad...may God grant her eternal peace.
Another big news has it that the governorship election in Kogi state has been annuled by an election tribunal. The governor's lawyers are going to appeal against the ruling. Read all the details on Nigerian newspapers online.

Meanwhile, our home girl, Tonipayne, was nominated for Fox 11 Hot list. Pls show some support by voting here http://myfoxla.cityvoter.com/Details.aspx?business=55826. So proud of her

Finally, here's wishing a very special someone, Olula, a happy birthday. Wishing you everything you wish yourself, everything you deserve and everything God wants for you. Kisses!

That's it for today...Naija Entertainment Gists coming tomorrow. Cheers.

Monday 8 October 2007

Female Genital Mutilation

I was Circumcised. Me and all my five sisters. When I said this on my 'Faking it', post, people lauded my courage for openly admitting to being circumcised. Then I started wondering if it's something to be ashamed of?

I've heard all kinds of negative things being said about female genital mutilation, but I've never paid much attention to it. Why? Because it was done to me...and my sisters...so thinking about how callous and wicked it is to cut a female's genital part, is thinking my parents are wicked and callous. Two people I love most in the world.

I first heard about FGM in secondary school when some girls were discussing sex. I remember vividly a particular classmate saying circumcised girls don't enjoy sex, circumcision means your ability to enjoy sex has been cut off. I reflected at that moment and remembered that someone, maybe my older sister, once told me we were all circumcised.

The thought of never enjoying sex was so horrific to me that I went out of my way to discover the truth about circumcision. I asked around and one trusted older relation told me the theory was baseless as she was circumcised and enjoyed sex. I heaved a sigh of relief and never thought about it again.

Over the years, I've heard people state a million and one reasons circumcision is wrong. They say: it's barbaric, inhuman, etc...if this is true does it mean something something inhuman happened to me? If it's so wrong, why are some parents still letting this happen to their girls?

I remember asking my mum why she circumcised us and she said circumcision was to stop girls from being promiscuous. When I really think of it, my mum didn't particularly believe in it, but when you have a kid in the village, the family do what they think is necessary for/to the child. I think my mum didn't have a say about the circumcision being done to all her girls, it was the norm then, so she must have just played along.

My question is: What made our fore fathers think that circumcising a girl will make her less promiscuous? Who the hell came up with this crazy Idea? This people must have been insane.

Anyway, here's all you need to know about FGM
Female genital mutilation (FGM), often referred to as 'female circumcision', comprises all procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reasons.

There are different types of female genital mutilation known to be practised today.
They include:

Type I - excision of the prepuce, with or without excision of part or all of the clitoris;Type II - excision of the clitoris with partial or total excision of the labia minora;Type III - excision of part or all of the external genitalia and stitching/narrowing of the vaginal opening (infibulation);Type IV - pricking, piercing or incising of the clitoris and/or labia; stretching of the clitoris and/or labia; cauterization by burning of the clitoris and surrounding tissue;scraping of tissue surrounding the vaginal orifice (angurya cuts) or cutting of the vagina (gishiri cuts); introduction of corrosive substances or herbs into the vagina to cause bleeding or for the purpose of tightening or narrowing it; and any other procedure that falls under the definition given above.

Health consequences of FGM
The immediate and long-term health consequences of female genital mutilation vary according to the type and severity of the procedure performed.

Immediate complications include severe pain, shock, haemorrhage, urine retention, ulceration of the genital region and injury to adjacent tissue. Haemorrhage and infection can cause death.
Long-term consequences include cysts and abscesses, keloid scar formation, damage to the urethra resulting in urinary incontinence, dyspareunia (painful sexual intercourse) and sexual dysfunction and difficulties with childbirth.

Psychosexual and psychological health: Genital mutilation may leave a lasting mark on the life and mind of the woman who has undergone it. In the longer term, women may suffer feelings of incompleteness, anxiety and depression.

Who performs FGM, at what age and for what reasons?
FGM is usually performed by a traditional practitioner with crude instruments and without anaesthetic. Among the more affluent in society it may be performed in a health care facility by qualified health personnel. WHO is opposed to medicalization of all the types of female genital mutilation.

The age at which female genital mutilation is performed varies from area to area. It is performed on infants a few days old, female children and adolescents and, occasionally, on mature women.

The reasons given by families for having FGM performed include:
Psychosexual reasons: reduction or elimination of the sensitive tissue of the outer genitalia, particularly the clitoris, in order to attenuate sexual desire in the female, maintain chastity and virginity before marriage and fidelity during marriage, and increase male sexual pleasure.

Sociological reasons: identification with the cultural heritage, initiation of girls into womanhood, social integration and the maintenance of social cohesion.

Hygiene and aesthetic reasons: the external female genitalia are considered dirty and unsightly and are to be removed to promote hygiene and provide aesthetic appeal.

Myths: enhancement of fertility and promotion of child survival.

Religious reasons: Some Muslim communities, however, practise FGM in the belief that it is demanded by the Islamic faith. The practice, however, predates Islam.

Prevalence and distribution of FGM
Most of the girls and women who have undergone genital mutilation live in 28 African countries, although some live in Asia and the Middle East. They are also increasingly found in Europe, Australia, Canada and the USA, primarily among immigrants from these countries.
Today, the number of girls and women who have undergone female genital mutilation is estimated at between 100 and 140 million. It is estimated that each year, a further 2 million girls are at risk of undergoing FGM.

This is what I think about circumcision: When you read extensively about the consequences of circumcision...some kids have been known to die from this practice...you wonder why parents, especially mothers, allow their children to be mutilated in such a manner. It is wrong and their reasons for doing it is extremely stupid. It needs to be stopped.

This is what I know about circumcision: It doesn't stop your ability to enjoy sex. I've been circumcised and I've had sex...circumcision my ass...I enjoyed myself plentifully...if you aren't enjoying sex...change partners lol. But seriously, a lot of circumcised women complain about their inability to enjoy sex, I guess those women must have been extremely mutilated. It's sad.

All I can say is; find positiveness in a every bad situation. And the only way you can avenge your being circumcised is; Don't do it to your own child.

Who has anything to say about circumcision? Were you circumcised? Do you enjoy sex?

Also they say from now on, our Senate will start monitoring punctuality by it's members...there will be like a register or sumtin? Laughable or a good Idea?

Sunday 7 October 2007

Ibrahim Babaginda's Mansion + An article by Dayo Olomu

He ruled Nigeria for 8 years (85-93) People have all sorts of things to say about him...I don't know why, but I sorta like this guy...

Here's what the home of Nigeria's former head of state looks like...

Babaginda's Mansion in pictures

What can I say? Money good o? What do you say?

Here also is an article by motivational speaker Dayo Olomu

How Do You Start Your Day?
By Dayo Olomu

How do you start you day? Do you just wake up in the morning, have your bath and go to work? If you answer yes to this question, may I say that in this day and age, that is not how to start an eventful day?

Everyday spend time thinking about your future, your life, your values and your choices. Decide where you are going and write it down. I do it early in the morning; some of my clients do it before bed. Find what works out best for you and use it.

I start my day with what I call the golden hour when I sharpen the mind by means of keeping myself physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually fit. It is about renewing yourself, which will in turn give you time to recreate yourself and boost your confidence.

The first thing I do is to shape up spiritually by prayer, reading the Bible and reading a booklet called "Word for Today" which I have been reading for years.

Then I move onto shaping myself physically by exercising. I do 50 press-ups every morning.

After that I shape up intellectually by reading a chapter of the book I am reading at the moment or anything that will shape me intellectually.

During this process I look at my things to do for today list and allocate the ABCD strategy.
A is Action Now,
B is before the end of the day,
C is Can wait till tomorrow and
D is you delegate it or delete it

By the time my family wakes up I am ready to shape up emotionally. And we listen and dance to vibrant music together. The favourite ones in the family are "A Higher Place" by Peyton, "Moving On Up" by M People and "Move It" by Reel to Reel
May I also add that it is important you go to bed early to get a good night's sleep?

Benjamin Franklin noted that "early to bed, early to rise makes a man (or woman) healthy and wise." Keeping an ambitious; rigorous daily schedule seems to help. If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always gotten. I guarantee it!

Peak performance people know the value of controlling their daily direction. They know that starting the day with some inspiration reading or vibrant music or stimulating conversation will tend to invigorate the entire day. That is why every motivational speaker recommends listening to tapes in the morning, rather than the bad news on TV

Here are some Constructive Tips for everyday Planning that one of my teachers, Bob Proctor taught me:

Carry a small pad for jotting down things to be done. An inexpensive note pad has played a major role in the success of any executives.

Plan your day "tightly." Schedule progressive action activities.
Schedule your outgoing telephone calls so they can be taken care of at one sitting. There is less chance of finding busy lines early in the morning or late in the afternoon.

Plan meetings for the beginning or close of the day, not in the midst of work periods. Write out list of things to discuss at each meeting.

Plan things that you can work on or think about while you are in transit or waiting around. Have material to read or other constructive work handy for odd moments that inevitably crop up.

The best way to stop wasting your life is to plan your time. Plan tomorrow tonight; don't wait for tomorrow morning.

Virtually everyone goes to bed at a different time each night, but as a rule, gets up at the same time every morning.

Set your alarm back one hour and you will gain nine forty-hour weeks each year.

Sir Walter Raleigh who built the great tobacco empire was asked how he accomplished so much in such a short time. Raleigh replied, "When there is anything to do, I start it."
Don't look at a thing; Start it.
Don't imagine that it is difficult; Start it
Don't put it off for a day; Start it
Don't pretend that you must think it over; Start it

Don't start half-heartedly; put everything you can muster into your start."It can't be done," but with a forceful start you can do it
You have probably done things throughout your life without using this extra force at the start.

Think how much more you could achieve by making an enthusiastic start at each task, every morning.

Start your day with purpose.

This is me now: Some people are so pissed at me for not replying their comments...now they think I'm snobbish. Me snobbish? I used to be...now I'm so busy chasing after other things that I don't even remember what it is to be snobbish, how much more being it...

If I don't reply your comment, don't think I'm trying to diss you...I appreciate you guys more than you know, I just don't remember to reply, or maybe I just play down the importance of replying comments...I apologise...I'll improve on that. Pls keep your comments coming.

Meanwhile, the second edition of my Magazine...yeah, the same one I've been making a lot of noise about for over six months...will be out in a week...
I'm so excited right now that I can't even continue typing...will bring you all the details later.

Ciao for now! Muah!

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