I would like to share my marriage Issue with you and need counsel. I’ve lost trust for women. I married my wife about 10 months ago. Before we got married I was made to believe she was in love with me and I was madly in love with her. We dated for 9 months then decided to get married. After we got married she had to relocate due to job posting. We didn’t get to live together for long after our marriage. We faced constant issues borne out of misunderstanding and the fact that we haven’t lived together for too long to fully understand each other.It got frustrating cos the issues was more like every day. Sometimes ago she confessed that she doesn’t love me as much as I do and she is even yet to love me. It broke my heart to find that out, she also mentioned she married me for a different reason and was hoping to start loving me after we got married.
She promised to make things work, begin to love and we relate better. Few days ago, we had a discussion about spouses cheating and all, she said her view and said she almost cheated but didn’t. The story didn’t add up to me and I went digging and contacted a close colleague of her who told me she was cheating full blown. I contacted her with my finding, she was shocked how I got the details and she confessed it all.
She is barely 2 months at her new location and has been cheating with this guy she met for over 6 weeks. She sometimes spends the night at his house and all. She begged me to forgive her and she said it wasn’t about the sex for her but the company she got based on her been frustrated with our issues and her trying to get things off her head.
I told her before then that there is no marriage without their issues but couples will constantly resolve it till things get better. I love her so much and decide to forgive her but it has been a hard thing to forget cos my heart was pierced being betrayed by someone I truly love with all of me. I know most men see it as a taboo for a woman to cheat.
Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit. I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her. She feels remorseful for her actions and promised it will never happen.
Does anyone have any helpful counsel on how to totally forget this or it won’t be advisable to forgive/accept her back or give a second chance.
256 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 256 of 256Na so, mr adviser but if he was d one that cheated you'd have advised the wife to forgive him abi? Selfishness
Sir, I don't know why people put their very important personal issues on social networks where most people (will) always make light, or fun, of your pain.
No offence to your blog Miss Linda, but Sir, you are barking up the wrong tree!
Take this concern to your pastor, or reverend father, or the like, someone of high moral authority.
YOU WILL NEVER BE BETTER OFF ASKING THIS KIND OF QUESTIONS ON A SOCIAL NETWORK! A good example will be, unsurprisingly too, how many attacks this comment will attract!
Best of luck.
And you have not been killed??? Look atew!!! Rubbish advice!
pls forgive and forget. that is what the bible..........
You don't force someone to love you...
You don't make someone to love you...
You don't need to work hard to make someone to love you...
Love is a mutual feeling, if she doesn't love you initially you can never make her to, your gifts, your holiday trips and what have you can't make her to love you...
I wonder why people force themselves into a marriage that there is no love..
Seek a marriage counselor, my own advise for you is to move on with your life...
Sir, I don't know why people put their very important personal issues on social networks where most people (will almost always) make light, or fun, of their pain.
No offence to your blog Miss Linda, but Sir, you are barking up the wrong tree!
Take this concern to your pastor, or reverend father, or the like, someone of high moral authority.
YOU WILL HARDLY BE BETTER OFF ASKING THIS KIND OF QUESTIONS ON A SOCIAL NETWORK! A good example will be, unsurprisingly too, how many attacks this comment will attract!
Best of luck.
Sir, I don't know why people put their very important personal issues on social networks where most people (will) always make light, or fun, of their pain.
No offence to your blog Miss Linda, but Sir, you are barking up the wrong tree!
Take this concern to your pastor, or reverend father, or the like, someone of high moral authority.
YOU WILL HARDLY BE BETTER OFF ASKING THIS KIND OF QUESTIONS ON A SOCIAL NETWORK! A good example will be, unsurprisingly too, how many attacks this comment will attract!
Best of luck.
You are obviously a man, with the typical male hypocrisy. A cheating husband is the same as a cheating wife. They both cause the same amount of pain to their spouses. Because it's the wife that cheated, the husband is adviced to send her packing. If it were the husband that cheated, the wife would be advised to smile through the pain, nurture her marriage and go down on her knees and pray.
As long as the husband is willing to put effort into making his marriage work, he should be encouraged. They can go for counseling, make sure that they don't live apart. Companionship is important and they need time to bond as a couple.
ROFL! What a pushover you are! This is why marriage shouldn't be rushed into. Dating only 9 months and you decide yoto marry? Are you that naïve to think 9 months is enough to know almost everything there is to know about someone. Keep deluding yourself about forgiveness. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Dis is so dumb! Nothing wrong in a man forgiving his wife. Abi men dt gets forgiveness from deir wives for cheating get 10 heads? It's obvious u never knew live growing up dts y u ask dt silly question that wats d bug deal in divorce. And to the writer . Time heals everything, give t time and pray, you will be able o get over it soon
The only mistake you made and still making is living and staying apart. Take this from a 8yrs old marriage distance of any sort is bad for marriage except when unavoidable.
Oooooooh my!
Am a lady and I don't think she's worthy to b 4given cos as a married woman how can a man dat is nt ur husband have access to ur nakedness? Very disgusting and ridiculous.
Oooooooh my!
Am a lady and I don't think she's worthy to b 4given cos as a married woman how can a man dat is nt ur husband have access to ur nakedness? Very disgusting and ridiculous.
Oooooooh my!
Am a lady and I don't think she's worthy to b 4given cos as a married woman how can a man dat is nt ur husband have access to ur nakedness? Very disgusting and ridiculous.
Oooooooh my!
Am a lady and I don't think she's worthy to b 4given cos as a married woman how can a man dat is nt ur husband have access to ur nakedness? Very disgusting and ridiculous.
Oooooooh my!
Am a lady and I don't think she's worthy to b 4given cos as a married woman how can a man dat is nt ur husband have access to ur nakedness? Very disgusting and ridiculous.
Who that 1 help?
Opinions is like ass hole, my dear brother no woman is perfect. In regards to your statement we understand that misunderstanding lead to this malicious act, but deep down in your heart you know the strength of your woman and you know her act was not to kill you or harm you but it was out of frustration.
I will advise you to forgive her and give her a second chance. Dont listen to those numskull advisers that asking you to kick the woman out, if they can do you a favour, kindly ask them to point or direct you to any flawless.
You're an idiot. How about when a man cheat? Illeterate!
Frank but true. Oga, you set be idiot to be this Frank. Lol
Goat
it is easy to forgive such but not easy to forget.if u are sure she has stopped just learn to forget...
And what the fuck do you know about divorce? Please go back to your books cos you're just a child.. Idiot like you..
well simply because she belongs to everybody and she belongs to nobody.....lol
I love the fact that you are ready to keep your marriage..... You ain't running at the first sign of trouble. I also commend you for forgiving adultery. Sincerely I don't know what I would do if my hubby cheats. I would be devastated but divorce would not be an option. I live apart from my husband too. Its not easy to remain faithful but it can be done. I think your wifey needs a rethink. I believe she is too comfortable with you. Threaten that comfort. Learn ways to make her come to you and not you to her. Always pray together on phone everyday. She loves company right? Then never take calls and sending text msgs to her for granted but you must also let her know you ain't gonna take shit no more. Seeing you love her, u are obviously the giver, always sacrificing. Pls remember to take too. Love is borne from pain and sacrifice. Create the opportunity and allow her to make her own sacrifices. Get counseling if possible. I would suggest that since the situation warrants she works in a different location, then visits can never be over emphasized. I would rather she resigns and comes home but naija economy may not allow that. Am in d east and my hubby stays in Eko, yet we run a monthly visit of three days schedule. Thank you for not throwing in the trowel. Work on your marriage first. May God keep and sustain you too. Always remember to make God the pillar of your relationship. God bless.
Anony 11:45, u funny mehn!!
That is how Busola Omokore is sleeping with people's husband and she's enjoying it because of money. Karma is a bitch
Brother ur wife is lose, which married woman bangs a guy she met jst 6wks ago ? Its good for u to forgive her anyway, bt I knw I won't. And blv me, u will never forget what she did to u, and it will always make u sad.
You did a good research in confirming that she cheated on you , you should divert that energy to find out why she is cheating on you , it is a puzzle piece you have to decipher and embrace for a better future and understand there is something wrong and lacking somewhere
The TRUTH of d matter is that she was "cheating on U even b 4 u both got married,it about she changing,but she showing u who she truly is!!!......The Earlier u free and leave her now,d better for u, OR she will DUMP u when u least expect and u will "rot" emotionally. #TalkingFromExperience
am not a fan of long distance relationships/marriage because it gives room to problems like this,,the issue here is not you loving her,you need to really know if she is really willing to change for good because it's easier said than done..saying she is sorry and that it won't happen again is not enough ,the both of you need to be physically close to each other..when a woman tells a man that she does not love him,its a serious case because you need love and mutual understanding to make your marriage work..follow your heart, if you feel u can really forgive her,,fine,,if u feel you can't,its understandable.,just pray and follow your heart..always remember you also deserve to be happy..
better still,meet a marriage counselor and talk about it,all the best.
am not a fan of long distance relationships/marriage because it gives room to problems like this,,the issue here is not you loving her,you need to really know if she is really willing to change for good because it's easier said than done..saying she is sorry and that it won't happen again is not enough ,the both of you need to be physically close to each other..when a woman tells a man that she does not love him,its a serious case because you need love and mutual understanding to make your marriage work..follow your heart, if you feel u can really forgive her,,fine,,if u feel you can't,its understandable.,just pray and follow your heart..always remember you also deserve to be happy..
better still,meet a marriage counselor and talk about it,all the best.
am not a fan of long distance relationships/marriage because it gives room to problems like this,,the issue here is not you loving her,you need to really know if she is really willing to change for good because it's easier said than done..saying she is sorry and that it won't happen again is not enough ,the both of you need to be physically close to each other..when a woman tells a man that she does not love him,its a serious case because you need love and mutual understanding to make your marriage work..follow your heart, if you feel u can really forgive her,,fine,,if u feel you can't,its understandable.,just pray and follow your heart..always remember you also deserve to be happy..
better still,meet a marriage counselor and talk about it,all the best.
Why not tell ur husband u are no more interested in the marriage.
From you comment, it is obvious u r d problem in ur own marriage.
Abeg divorce d man so he can get someone better and move his forward. Ashewo oshì
How will you feel if your husband finds out from someone else. Don't be sure u will die with dat secret.
You better face the truth and confess. I am sure he knows.
Such men will never say a word instead he will find him a trust worthy lady out there to bear him children he can be sure they are his.
U better talk to him and pray he forgives u.
When a man wants to have sex with u. He will always be wat ur spouse isn't. It is a shame u can confidently say it without remorse.
Shameless woman
Listen to someone with experience.
Forgive but keep an eye on her
She doesn't love you, she's about to start loving u now, she denied it, later confessed, that's who she is, you can't separate her from it, to an extend her colleagues knows about it, you, yourself knows her very well, MAN stop being weak, be a MAN this once and be FREE, before you die untimely.
Pls am beggin u divorce her! Pls! Becos it won't gt better m nt sayin dis becos of u I want u to help her out of her misery she may nt wanna leave becos of wat ppl say..buh it willl b better if u do it..
No1: she has told u she doesn't love u, deris no way u guys can work dat out,nt even wen u guts r nt leaving togeda! Watever she is doin to u now is pretence everyfin...I swear to u!
No2: u need help ursef too cos she'll cont to cheat on u, no Mata how much u guys try, she may/pretend to love u 4 a while buh wen she tinks abouh it...she finds a way to mk u leave her...
No3: check dese signs, if she calls all d time or mk excuses @work to come see u,even if she visits u is like it used to?...she may nt b ssexually attracted to u anymore n wen a lady/woman is lik dat! man am sorry deris nofin u can do.
Buh den! Wat do I knw...M just a young gel..deris a yoruba sayin which goes "omode gbon,agba gbon lafi da ile-ife"
I'm sure she has given him Efo to eat!
True talk bro
Dont be a moron
All these Idiots telling yp to forgive don't have your best interest t heart.
A Cheater is a cheater and will always be a cheater-
Dump her
Dump Her
And move on!
Don't listen to these Sunday song infused idiots
Men give love for sex, always rmbr dt
A wife that cheats is dangerous.. She could kill u .. Just saying
Take her to Mt of fire or Tb Joshua. She needs deliverance.That's all u need
You're very right. As much as i tried,i just couldn't get myself to love my first husband cos i saw him as too weak for my liking. Always kneeling to beg and always so quick to shed tears on his knees begging even when i was clearly at fault and so for 3 years i struggled to love him but i just cudnt. Now am remarried to this very strict no nonsense dude and am head over heals in love with him. The more he deals with me the more i fall in love with him.
*mouth agape*
So the "responsible" expatriate is on the DL. Just out of curiosity, were you the bottom??
***Lush
And a cheating husband is wat? Fool God will judge us all equal,God is not a respected of anubody,keeping deceiving urself,wen u die go tell dat to God,and change his comandment to man's world,foooolsss
My dear forgiving her was the best thing u did! Trust me u cannot forget such a betrayal but u can pray nd ask God 2 help u come 2 terms with it, den again both of u shuld find a balance, either u relocate 2 her or she relocates back! Distance tears relationships talk more of marriages! U guyz shuld decide 2 b in one location and work on ur marriage from dere. Wit God all things are possible. Good luck dear.
When issues like this come up, it baffles me how ppl can drop silly, senseless nd stupid comments! Dis guy above is genuinely seeking for positive answers! If u feel u dnt Hv anifin good 2 say plz! Biko jst dnt comment, it's nt a must!
It's men like you that will cheat on their wives but expect her to forgive you. Shallow mind.
I hope this finds you well. I'm a woman. I will give you what I know for sure based on my experiences and the experiences of my close friends. A woman who cheats will ALWAYS cheat again. She doesn't love you the way you need her to love you. Her interests lie anywhere. The only reason she wants you to forgive her is because she is afraid of the shame that will come with you telling her people and also because she is afraid of being alone. The woman for you is still out there. Walk with God and she will reveal herself to you
Life! Different strokes for different folks....pray to God to direct u
Lovely reply Bona...
Dear writer, some pple don't forgive easily..but u need to understand each other better not just love.work more on how to keep yr relationship with her cos if it's just u that is loving in this marriage u ll soon sink. It's obvious there is something u lack that made her cheat, it's not stress..find it out n fix it.
And every time u look at her, that memory of her cheating ll keep staring at u. Run to God for peace, wisdom n strength to handle this. Good luck
Take my advice and forget that woman.. I have been in your shoes befor.. experienced engineer.....
Let her take an oath with you that if she ever cheat on you again, she will die by thunder.
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