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Friday, 3 January 2014

Dear LIB readers; My fiancee treats her son badly

From a LIB reader
I'm engaged to a woman who has a three year old son. We are planning to get married by the last quarter of the year....but there is something she does that makes me cringe. She hates so much on her 3 year old son. At the slightest provocation, she spits venom on the little boy. She tells the child all the hurt his father caused her and even goes to the extent of saying he is a bad reminder of his father. I have spoken to her about this and she seems to be deep in this her ugly past and this is adversely affecting me and am thinking of walking out on the relationship. I don't want to marry a woman who is a bad mother.

188 comments:

Unknown said...

Honestly if U̶̲̥̅̊ love dis woman U̶̲̥̅̊ will help her,,,all she nid is HELP $u can get D̶̲̥̅̊Α̲̅†̥ help it will only take tym but  am sure she can b refine.... Pls dont walk away

Anonymous said...

She's still hurting it can be painful tho but she just hv to let go of her past
Abi na the boy send her to open her legs?? Biko keep talking to her n let's hope things will change for the better.
Don't know why some single mothers don't use their brians...not every SM gets a nice guy. My bro pls I'm begging for her in no time she'll heal.

#That happy sister!

kaizerba said...

#IMO she isn't a bad mum... D dad probably Caused enough Trauma.. Basicaly she's havin a llot of Tantrums she nids 2 visit a Shrink

Nike said...

I think talking to her about it and encourage her to let it go,after all
she has you.

Linda!!!! post my comment. this is new year. change your ways!

Anonymous said...

Rum for your dear life before you get entangled in loops of drama, I've never posed on lib before but this is something I've experienced, a woman with such character should be avoided. She will do same wig your kids in future ... Type of woman that say shit to kids for little problem with their father. You gonna learn more about her later. But run before it's too late. More over you why a single mom. You know why first dude left? You know her that well. Not bashing single moms but experienced a terrible one. The type that bring old hurts from past relationship to new one. Run

ST. KIZITO BOUTIQUE IG: @stkizitoboutique said...

Iindy y delete the 1st post?. well, my bro, talk to ya fiance

Anonymous said...

Maybe d child was born as a result of rape, u need 2 talk 2 her and if she continues in dat manner, then take a walk!

kaizerba said...

#IMO she isn't a bad mum... D dad probably Caused enough Trauma.. Basicaly she's havin a llot of Tantrums she nids 2 visit a Shrink

Lucy said...

Woman let the hatred U̶̲̥̅̊ have ur son's dad go before U̶̲̥̅̊ kill our tommorrow's president.

Anonymous said...

Rum for your dear life before you get entangled in loops of drama, I've never posed on lib before but this is something I've experienced, a woman with such character should be avoided. She will do same wig your kids in future ... Type of woman that say shit to kids for little problem with their father. You gonna learn more about her later. But run before it's too late. More over you why a single mom. You know why first dude left? You know her that well. Not bashing single moms but experienced a terrible one. The type that bring old hurts from past relationship to new one. Run

ST. KIZITO BOUTIQUE IG: @stkizitoboutique said...

Keep preaching to her. One day she will repent

Unknown said...

dnt walk away....she does dat cos of d baby came out of wedlock

Anonymous said...

Na wa for women sha

Anonymous said...

Na wa for women sha

Unknown said...

Wow...that's not cool, apparently the boy's father really caused her pain. I suggest you have a serious discussion on the issue.., tell her you not cool with it. Am sure she would change.

Unknown said...

Wow...that's not cool, apparently the boy's father really caused her pain. I suggest you have a serious discussion on the issue.., tell her you not cool with it. Am sure she would change.

Anonymous said...

The ball is in ur court.. Why can't u ask him what the father of the child did to her? However,her affection for other kids would show whether she likes kid generally or not!
-Yemoh.

Anonymous said...

Well....my opinion is that walking out shouldn't be an option here. Probably she must have passed through a lot and is yet to let go. You have spoken to her about how badly she treats her son but I think the solution to the problem is to help her let go her past. However she treats her son, is only a reflection of her state of mind. She needs to let go the hurt, pain and whatever and move on. Help her do this and see what a good mother she will be. I am a man and will do the same, it's too early to hang in the towel. Keep up the good work and don't give up.

Anonymous said...

jst tel her to her face,eyeball 2eyeball .U RE ABAD MOTHER &WIT DIS I DOUBT MARRYING!!!
For lettn her past to decide her future she is capital IKPU,,unshaved one for dat matter..........




#dat igbo babe nwere connection wit mesut ozil#

Bonita Bislam said...

She isn't a bad mother per se.ask her wat hapend btw her n her son's father.Trust me u may find an ansa 2her fury.She's wrong though 4doin dat 2her kid.

Anonymous said...

This kind of aggression towards her own blood can not easily be stop. not like she is a bad mother but i think she fees the child deprived her of many things (material possessions,hang outs with friend,reduced date nights ëtc) the only way to help her from this foolishness is by loving the child,treating the baby nicely such that she wud feel soo bad about her action..obviously the child came as a result of a pleasurable sexual encounter....doñt walk öut,walk into d sïtuation and make it right....she is only scared of loosiñg you.

Bonita Bislam said...

B4 u pass ur judgmnt,.ask her wat hapend btw her n her son's father.Trust me u may find an ansa 2her fury.She's wrong though 4doin dat 2her kid.

stormkid said...

Walk out bro....the signs are there to see.....if she can't love an innocent child,a product of her seeming 'failed' relationship,how will she love ur kids whole heartedly?

Anonymous said...

she's obviously still bitter abt the boys father. she needs to drop all resentment and learn to forgive and forget. I feel so bad for the boy. I think u should set the example here by showing the boy love..he clearly needs a strong father figure. .! I also worry that she will divert this behaviour to u when u ar married. have a straight talk with her. tell her to treat her son right or ul leave her..and guide her through the act of forgiveness, and love. Ebuka

Anonymous said...

Lol! You changed the picture. Don't break the engagement because of this.

Anonymous said...

Movie. Linda Ikeji and her stories..lol

Anonymous said...

Movie. Linda Ikeji and her stories..lol

BONKY GEE said...

To an every situation there must be a reason!!!

Call her A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ try to caution her A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ invite her to ur pastor or imam for counseling...........watch her for 3 month if she doesn't change.....U̶̲̥̅̊ can now make up ur mind
#Goodluck

Grace Joseph said...

Sounds like another bitter woman. Get a head doc for her, cos we don't wana hear any breaking news. Walking away won't make that change

Samira said...

RUN, RUN, RUN!!!!!Run for your life. There is fire on the mountain...she will be a bad mother to any kids you have with her. My people have a saying in Hausa that in essence says, 'A good Friday-to-be shows signs right from Wednesday'. (Juma'ar da za tayi kyau, tun daga Laraba ake gane ta'...)

Grace Joseph said...

Sounds like another bitter woman. Get a head doc for her, cos we don't wana hear any breaking news. Walking away won't make that change

Anonymous said...

Talk to her again n let her know dat if she does nt change her attitude, u will walk out of d relationship.

Unknown said...

I really don't think she's a bad mother, she's acting according to the way she has been treated by her former. All she need is to forgive herself and let go of her past. The little boy as long as she's with him will keep reminding her of her past Until she FORGIVES herself and let go.

Anonymous said...

HmmmnNn... Abg calm dwn bro.

Emmanuel said...

This life is somhw, human being......if she luvs the child much, we gtz jealous and angry,if she doesn't we stil complain..hw insatiable we are? God pls help us.

Unknown said...

she is a badt mother

Anonymous said...

Help her to overcome that past, she's not a bad person just show her love if u walk away she will be d worst mother on earth. a man like u made her like that

Cute G said...

Yeah u re right!Walk away b4 it repeats itself.

Toronto Finest said...

Pls waka fast. Men would never do that. Only women acts on their wayward past

Anonymous said...

Well well, u should let her know how u feel cos personally I guess she's just venting the anger of her past on her son..she's still bitter...kapish

Anonymous said...

I am not proud to say this but my mum did the same to me.The only way out, is to sit the lady down and tell her she's damaging this little guy's emotional health....His self esteem,confidence and self worth is gonna diminish in the long run.....If She(your fiancée) still doesn't do anything to change....JUST LEAVE!

Anonymous said...

Pray abt it I beg u in d name of God. D little boy never beg to cum to dis world wht nonse is dat? If she can't liv her past she's not ready 4 d future.

Hotgirl said...

Or a woman that is unforgiving.na so she go treat ur own pickin if u fuck up.if u love her then try and draw her close to God.thats d only way o.

Anonymous said...

Pls walk. That might be the only thing that might change her attitude. You can't imagine the damage a bad mother does to a child. IAI

BONKY GEE said...

Abeg Linda, i just bought a new bicycle------i took some pics wit it..........where should i send it.........cos dat is very fast way of becoming celeb......yeye D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣ smell

cute mee said...

She is still very hurt from her past relationship,bt pouring d whole hatred on her boy is nt d best,pls try nd talk wit her nd make her see reasons dat d boy may grow up 2 hate her,d lord is ur strenght.

Anonymous said...

See me this one. You want yo get married without the maturity. Talk to her. She hs to let go off her past. If you leave her for this reason that littlr boy will suffet more ad he will not only b a baf reminder but also th reason why you didnt marry her

Apple said...

DONT MARRY HER!!! She will treat your children the same way if for any reason you break up one day.

Unknown said...

Growing children need love; lots of love. If she can't love her own child irrespective of the hurts of her rship wit his father, my brother, there's no g'tee she'll love ur own child(ren) unconditionally. Three words: take a walk!

Anonymous said...

She must be hurting pretty badly, I'd advice they deal with her anger/hurt first, cos who knows she may just be the reason the first guy walked out in the first place.

Unknown said...

You dnt av to leave her, just take her to a counsellor for counselling, and make her knw,her actions is making you av a re-think and a bad impression bout her.

Unknown said...

Growing children need love; lots of love. If she can't love her own child irrespective of the hurts of her rship wit his father, my brother, there's no g'tee she'll love ur own child(ren) unconditionally. Three words: take a walk!

Anonymous said...

With all indications the two love birds are in love. Base on the information made available, the woman is reacting to her son in such way because of the love she has for you. She wouldn't want anything to stand on her. She is ready to do anything to retain you.

You are to help her overcome her situation, if you really love her.
1. Let her know that you love her, even with the boy.
2. Take and treat the boy like your own. Show love to the boy.
3. Encourage the Woman to love the boy and let her know that it wasn't the boy's fault to have been born.
4. Seek advice from your Pastor or Spiritual fathers. With prayer, I believed God will see you through.

Anonymous said...

u bera work now , bcos he go show u her tru colour after wedding.

zino said...

Talk to som1 close to her or her mum nd in ur own part,alwys play wt d son in her presence..if she dsnt listen withdraw from her for somtim so she feels d hurt, hw can she treat a 3yrs old lik dat? Ur own son! Nawa ooo

Dr.N said...

Please don't wait till the last minute. Break up with her early enough for her to move on. I don't think she'll be happy with your excuse and may take it out on the boy. Do consider this. Can you get her help? www.drnsmusings.wordpress.com

Magic moment said...

I fear for u.......

Anonymous said...

I understand exactly how she feels cos I was somehow in d same situation, my mum had to take my baby away frm me for a year to enable me heal properly. I'm over it now and my son will resume leaving wiv me by nxt wk. She nids time to heal and it's going to take a lot of patience, love and reassurance from d man. She will come around definitely. Selah!

Anonymous said...

i would walk away from that because she has a lot of unresolved issues. if she changes, then go back

Anonymous said...

She is a good mother she jst hasnt made peace with her past and its sad he needs to sit down with her and talk 2 her. She wud realize

LovelyTess said...

Have u spoken to het about it? obviously she is still hurting. Communication is key. Pls talk to her and find out why she is still hurting

Unknown said...

Hmmmm! Let her go for conseiling.

Unknown said...

She is not a bda mother.. The ingredient of her product is a bad one..give her time..keep talking to her..

Unknown said...

Jst tell her hw u feel nd dat if she doesn't stop u'll have 2 leave her,probably she'll change bcos of dat

J-WAJ said...

D anger she has towards her EX is controling her, if she dosent let it go it will affect ur marriage, nd her son will develop low self esteem in future. she needs counselling. It might take a while bt can u wait? D choice is yours. Goodluck!

Anonymous said...

your wife-to-be will do the same to your children.she is wicked!

Anonymous said...

Big turn off!!! Leave her cos she will treat your children the same.

Nefertiti said...

Mr man, run frm such woman, bcs she can kill..... She has a cold heart, one day, she will give the little boy rat poison.... Use ur tongue to count ur teeth nw, before u become a victim....

Unknown said...

That's very bad of her that child is innocent for crying out loud.

Ann Marie said...

The signs are here. run for your life

Unknown said...

Dis is not story I beg. ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥ 

Anonymous said...

Brother, plz run for your life........cuz one day she gonna harm u

Unknown said...

Its a shame, the boy never beggeed to be brought to this world.

Anonymous said...

The earlier the better you quite.

Anonymous said...

SHE IS STILL HURTING OVER WHAT HIS FATHER HAS DONE TO HER! CHECK HER AND HELP HER GO PAST THAT STAGE..IT IS A VERY HARD STAGE!

Anonymous said...

during my pregnancy the father of my child treated me badly..after the birth of the baby i was treating the baby bad out of anger but later s realised its nt gud bringing a child wit anger..its nt her fault..wit tym she will change.

Unknown said...

Well, the father of d kid must have shown her the way to hell. Call on Ifa or Ogun to help you in this case. Remember that experiencing hell on earth is going into a bad marriage. May Obatala help you. Good luck

Anonymous said...

during my pregnancy the father of my child treated me badly..after the birth of the baby i was treating the baby bad out of anger but later s realised its nt gud bringing a child wit anger..its nt her fault..wit tym she will change.

Anonymous said...

Hello, pls don't say "Lil Problems" with her kid father. You don't know what she has gone through bt that's not enough excuse for her to maltreat her child anyways, bt don't judge her. Am sure for her to stil raise that kid she loves d kid, all her fiance shld do is continue to talk nd counsel her.. If he really loves her, he would do that. No one is perfect, u jst ve to learn nd help them live wt their imperfections

Jessica said...

Itz onli cowards dat run.if u love her,stick wit her.Change is d onli tin constant,u neva can tell wat d power of love does

Unknown said...

Its a shame, the kid did not ask to be brought into this world.

Anonymous said...

Oh No , she needs your help now more than ever , apparently she was deeply hurt from the relationship that resulted in the birth of that child...talk to her , help her to get over her past and you 'll see that no one teaches a mother how to love her child.







PRETTY GIRL

Anonymous said...

my mother does the same to me and i am 25. its so painful...and it WILL definitely effect the little by. also if u dont speak up the boy will grow to dislike u hard!

Unknown said...

E no matter bros,allow the power of love to take over

Anonymous said...

bros clam down pray with her pray for her she will change

Unknown said...

I disagree with u, u might be right, but no woman no matter how bad she is to others, will hate her own child. All she needs is help.

Newlife said...

Walk out now or you are doomed..a woman hating on her child because she is beefing the father is an irresponsible, wicked and dangerous woman.
Marry her at your peril!

Anonymous said...

Okay please don't listen to people that say run. The way I see it, this is your first hurdle of many hurdles to come in married life and if it handled well she will love you for the rest of her life for seeing her through this. You need to find out exactly what happened with the first man and make her see that she shouldn't take it out on her son. Maybe she needs therapy, maybe she needs counselling, whatever it is, you should do it with her. Then you should show her how to love her son by setting an example towards him. As a female, I can tell you that what you put in is what you get in spades and spades and spades. If you do something indescribably wonderful for her, you will have her love and respect forever...unless she's cray-cray. This one doesn't sound cray-cray, just bitter.

Unknown said...

That's not reason enough to quit but to remain in the relationship Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ go ahead...show the woman love, you could be a good step-father Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ help her wipe off that memory about her ex.

Unknown said...

That's not reason enough to quit but to remain in the relationship Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ go ahead...show the woman love, you could be a good step-father Α̲̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥d̶̲̥̅̊ help her wipe off that memory about her ex.

jenny A said...

Well things like dis can hurt so bad, and d worst path of it, is dat d child will now look very well like d man dat hurt d woman. Pls just help her and talk to her.

tomiwealth said...

Sad...she needs to forgive and forget her past, then move on to her new life

Unknown said...

She is going tru a lot right now.. but that doesn't give her the right to abuse her own child.. my dear my advise is for you to calm her down.. make her realize d damage she is cursing her child and try to put an end to it.. be patient bros.. Linda abeg ooo post my comment

Anonymous said...

Sit her down..talk to her about her past and let her write what shes gone through in a sheet burn it together and let her knw...that kid deserves the best treatment on eearth. COS if u run away karma wld turn to you...

Omobolanle said...

First of all,I want to say God bless you for accepting a single mother.I am not a single mother but my kid sis was before she married another guy,she saw hell as everyone called her After 1.I felt pained each time she cried because of the after 1 tag.

Back to your story,please don't walk away.Let her know what you just told us that you are scared she will treat your children same way if you guys have a little disagreement and tell him its such a big worry that you feel like calling it quit.Trust me it will work like Magic.She will change.
Really that little boy will grow up to be something else with the way this woman is treating him.Good luck dude

Unknown said...

That's not enough reason to quit, but to hang on and continue with the marriage. Your being there is to be a good step-father and help her stop the misplaced vexation and become a good mother.

Unknown said...

B4 u pass ur judgmnt,.ask her wat hapend btw her n her son's father.Trust me u may find an ansa 2her fury.She's wrong though 4doin dat 2 her own kid..

Anonymous said...

I agree

Boye said...

it is not easy to forget a very painful past.for her to be like that to her own child,it means she was badly hurt.pls,take it easy with her and help her to forget her past.

Ladyp said...

Almost all d churches r in prayer and fasting, she shud engage in one. Among her prayer points, she shud ask God to gv her PEACE. U my brother shud keep talking and encouraging her. It is well.

Ladyp said...

Almost all d churches r in prayer and fasting, she shud engage in one. Among her prayer points, she shud ask God to gv her PEACE. U my brother shud keep talking and encouraging her. It is well.

Anonymous said...

U r very stupid how is dat now the child fault,wen she made dat decision of opening her legs n getting pregnant dat is her problem nt d child it is pple like dis God shuldnt bless dem wit children,she is killing dat child physcologically n if u like linda don't post my comment I no know whether u dey carry ham go give akara woman make she take sell akara

Magic moment said...

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say

Anonymous said...

A good example of a bad mother. I av met single mothers who said as much as dey hate dier Ex, dey don't regret d relationship because it brought dem d most adorable gifts in world (their kids), dey will do everything 2 make sure dier kids stay with dem nd if a man can't love dier kids, he is free 2 walk away! Dis yeye woman here wud be d happiest woman on earth if d father of dat 3yr old boi asks 4 custody... Shd u die untimely, ur kids will suffer worse in her hands nd she will blame dem 4 ur death too, be careful with a woman who has so much hate! Dat u r in her life shd bring her joy, dat u love her son shd bring her contentment! She shd be happy he left else she wud nt experience d joy of loving u. I won't tell u wat 2 du... Be smart! --------o'klassy

Anonymous said...

RUN THE FKKK AWAY!!

My mother did and still doing the same thing to me. A bad mother is a bad wife. My father is still regretting marrying her. Some people would always be bitter, you are not Jesus my friend, you better leave. For the people saying she is not a bad mother, but a hurt one, that is BS. She became a BAD mother when she was hurt. I pity that child's emotional development. I am still battling with mine as i would most likely need to hire a shrink as a PA. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
If you think you are in love with her, wait till you are at the receiving end of her madness. I BEG YOU, RUN!!!

Unknown said...

she has an unforgiving spirit.

Anonymous said...

Sharap. Telling someone to embrace wickedness. Devil

Anonymous said...

She needs help.no matter who or what d boy reminds u of,he is still an innocent.I just feel for the poor kid,wat d mum is doing wud affect him psychologically,if u try nd its not working ,den run for tommorow,u might offend her nd she wud take it on ur kids

Anonymous said...

I went tru same tin wt my 2kids is a disease an evil mind,pls fight her over it she wil thank u later

Anonymous said...

Why do women enjoy bringing men down. It is like a collaborative thing. Some of you are talking about maturity, that the guy should talk to the woman. You know for a fact that it would never work. A bitter woman is a bitter woman, and nothing is going to stop or appease her venom, maybe reduce, but at the slightest provocation it all comes back to the surface. I was raised by such a woman. I hate to say it, but its true. I am not saying she did not love me, she did in her own way, but for every hug i got 100 slaps and abuses. My father too was not spared her tongue, and every one suffered because of her bad attitude. If you love your unborn child, look for someone mentally stable to be with. You are not Jesus, you cannot raise the dead, any counter measure to sort things out would be the equivalent of being Jesus, and you would fail.

DopeShanty said...

She needs u to help her erase the memory of her baby Daddy. All u have to do is do everything possible to make her feel like u are the child's biological father by caring for him extremely. Slowly she will forget about the real dad. And each time she try to mention him, make her forget by bringing up her fav topic... I hope this will be helpful... #DopeFemaleRapperWithNoTrack

Anonymous said...

Pls D☹и̲̮̣̥̅̊'†̥ walk away...the boy have through a lot..d mother will say he is d reason y u left her too...let's learn to love even in a tight situation and hope too

Anonymous said...

Pls D☹и̲̮̣̥̅̊'†̥ walk away...the boy have through a lot..d mother will say he is d reason y u left her too...let's learn to love even in a tight situation and hope too

Anonymous said...

U must b stupid 4 saying dat...do u tink any1 like to b a single moda?do u kno wat she has gone tru bin a single mum? Pls if u don't av any tin to say kip shut its not a must u comment encourage people n don't discourage sum1 in luv...

Ada Joseph Nzewi said...

I don't think the child is her son from her own womb. Ask her to tell the truth. No matter how bad her ex treats her, she can't pass it to her son. No.

Queen Eliza said...

Hmmm nice topic lin lin you try

Anonymous said...

Hello LIBers, dis is ma first tym to comment n I think d man shud walk away cos dere is nothin a man shud do to a woman dat shud affect a yung baby..... Dis boy is so young for dat treatment n it shows ao bad d woman is. Ma sister's husband showed her pepper n divorced her wit a 1 year old boy bt d boy is ma sis husband nw at age 4 n u can neva see her curse d guy in front of d boy even if she wil do dat at d back. So sir, u av to leave her wit her trauma or watever cos dat wil happen to ur kids too wen u do her wrong.

Unknown said...

All shez going through is pyslogical trauma she needs a pyscologist

Unknown said...

Jst confront her nd find out wots her problem

Unknown said...

Jst help her get over her anger

Anonymous said...

I dnt know y women dat know wat labour is,should treat their own child like dis,no matter wat d father had done,its stil her child,dats how my neighbour does to her daughter everyday,witot even wanting 2 chance,,,I hate such women

Unknown said...

Personally I c no reason y she hs 2 maltreat her son cos of wat his father did.She shuld understand dat de boy is as innocent as a dove in dis issue bt if de boy is developing sum terrible attitudes dat r nt appealing.She shuld approach it in a beta way.She shuldn't make de boy feel hated cos her attitude can affect him psychologically n in effect make him turn out a bad child.Let her kno it's high tym she started correctn de child wit luv.If she's nt de nagging type she 'll change n if she doesn't ur future kids shuld get ready cos wen u mess up she's definitely gonna spit Wats more dan venom on dem.

Patricia said...

I can relate to how the past seems to get a hold on someone but then for whatever reason somehow,Somewhat we all need to heal for sake of the future.. The lady needs to heal and by so doing start by treating her son right there she could find all the love to replace the hurt and well give room for a new beginning with her Fiancee.. Been bitter only makes you more bitter,Edgy,distrustful and could affect her relationship.Simple!

mary moore said...

But if u love her pls help her she needs help don't leave her plsssSs.

Anonymous said...

If you don't want to marry a bad mother then simply walk away. She has demonstrated to you that she is. Tomorrow now you will be saying they deceived you. You have seen it now o

sisi said...

Ɣoΰ as pathetic as d words Ɣoΰ write!..if uv nuffin reasonable to type abeg su'senyin!...okponu,odeh

Anonymous said...

In your head, you've just said something sensible now? Mumu

Anonymous said...

She I̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ passing through emotional trauma.... If U̶̲̥̅̊ truly love her, U̶̲̥̅̊ need †̥O̅ show her more love & let her know that †ђξ child can't affect U̶̲̥̅̊я relationship with her. she need †̥O̅ see a psychologist. It really not her false. She needs help.

sisi said...

Odeh if uv notin 2say su'senyin!...okponu

clicksomemore said...

She might be a bad mother or at the same time ur son might be very naughty

Anonymous said...

Obviously she was really hurt,I think u shld show d boy love in her presence and let her knw she's safe wiv u
@UA

Crystal said...

1. How long have you known her?

2. Has she told you what and what the guy did to her?

Me think that no matter what the father of the child did to her, as long as the child is hers, she shouldn't take it all out on the poor boy.

Try talking to her as u have been advised by my fellow LIBers and pray she changes. PS. Dont try to hurt her too o, cos u may never know what she'd do to your own child(ren)

All the best.

Crystal said...

1. How long have you known her?

2. Has she told you what and what the guy did to her?

Me think that no matter what the father of the child did to her, as long as the child is hers, she shouldn't take it all out on the poor boy.

Try talking to her as u have been advised by my fellow LIBers and pray she changes. PS. Dont try to hurt her too o, cos u may never know what she'd do to your own child(ren)

All the best.

Unknown said...

Do not walk away dude.,juxt do:-*:'(ur best by talkin 2 her n pray 2 God bcos dere,s ntin can be done by God in the presence of love.ok%-)B-):-*

Anonymous said...

Hey don't say that!! I got knocked up by my first boyfriend I mean the first man I ever knew relationship lasted 5years and he denied ever even touching me this was the guy I lost my virginity to at 16 and he was older, while I was pregnant I tried inducing the baby at 7 months but I couldn't, I also tried giving the child up for adoption cos I couldn't afford to have any reminder of that bastard but my mum wouldn't have it, after I gave birth I hated my son but as time went on I started falling in love with him cos I realised that's the one good thing I did all my life, I hate the father of my son in the worst way you can imagine....as a matter of fact I hate him soo much I could do that thing the Korean guy did to his uncle to him yeah that's how much I hate him, but thanks to people around me that made me see the good in having a child so all she needs is to channel all the hate she has for her baby papa into being successful so she can deal with him later like I am doing now or simple let go of all the hurt and pain. Linda bike post this

Anonymous said...

Click here to see more

Unknown said...

My Mailer, you don't run away from problems, you face 'em and come out victorious...she needs you to remind her that not all men are like her ex e.g you... and that she shouldn't forget she's got a son. Ask her that she wouldn't want her son to turn out like or worse than his dad jus cos she's always reminding him of his father, would she now?!. . .


#DropsMic

Anonymous said...

Sit her down, talk to her about how you feel about the situation, if she doesn't change, then you can go ahead ad with your plans

Anonymous said...

Women ar already defending her, if u treat her bad wat will hapen 2 ur own children?

Funlad said...

Whatever happened between her and the father shouldn't be poured on the innocent child, she is just a terrible mother. She should have given the child up for adoption when she knew she is not ready to be a mother. Children are blessings from heaven above even if the sperm donor happened to be an asshole. So let her change her ways now as she is going to treat ur kids the same way if u ever hurt her

Anonymous said...

She is definitely still hurting and i don't know why but it must have given her a lot of pain, i agree what she is doing to the boy is horrible and she shouldn't transfer the aggression but it's easier said than done, for you to have proposed to her there must have been something you saw in her so please hold on to that and most importantly i fear for what she would do to the boy if there were no one there, so use this as your mission of 2014, God wants us to spread his word and light around to do that start with your fiancee put your foot down but don't be aggressive let her know this is wrong if she says she is hurt try to get her to talk to you about it and ultimately trust in God to help because i don't think seeing wrong being done and running away from it is exactly wise
Love from Miami

Anonymous said...

It's good dat u've not posted before and I think u should stop cos ur English is terrible

Anonymous said...

Ur comment is dry, add a little salt to make it funny.

Anonymous said...

Wetin Hausa people know, abeg shaaataaap. Dats why u people marry hundred wives.

Anonymous said...

if she will not heed to ur advice on this then she might not heed to another. pple dont change easily. have another discussion with her and let her know how much it bothers you if she doesnt change then leave.its not the boy's fault that she had premarital sex.if anyone shud pay it shud be her and not the boy.shez not hurting, shez wicked.she just found a reason to display it. marriage is btw two whole pple if she is still in pieces then she will decimate you

Anonymous said...

Pls walking away is not the best option jor. All of u talking about this issue like ur perfect. I don,t have a child yet but for anyone attitude there must be a reason. Just find out what went wrong with the baby father , then u will know the way forward. I don,t think she will treat ur children the same way. Our first time ready pls don,t judge the guy for dating a woman with a babe, I guess u have some faults too.

Anonymous said...

Since you have spoken to her and she has refused, best u leave her, if she can do that to a little innocent child dat knows nothing talk more of how she would relate wit an adult wen she is bitter...how you make your bed na how you go sleep on top am, forget the emotional excuses being made for her and fade.

Anonymous said...

Help her.she needs councelling and or therapy

Anonymous said...

My dear, lets be honest. Na so we go dey talk she go kill the boy. Tell her straight! Give her an ultimatum. If she doesnt stop, u r leaving. N if she continues after marriage, she is leaving. If it is that important to u, get a lawyer and sign off on this. Watch what happens.

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%.

ary said...

She ain't over her ex! That's a fact and she might end up not hurting just her son but you too!

Unknown said...

she is going to damage that boy .i weep for the child.guy run for your life she has too much bitterness inside

Anonymous said...

She's actually doing this because of the new man. She feels (1)the boy is a threat to her new relationship and (2) that the man would feel more secure knowing that she loves him more than the son. Unfortunately she can't tell that's a turn off for the man.
It's better to tell her your feelings and she's just setting up the boy for failure and bad behavior. The fact that the dad wasn't good partner does not have anything to do with the child that didn't ask to come into the world. she just needs assurance from the new man that he'll stand by her notwithstanding her past (baggage)

Anonymous said...

She clearly has a lot of emotional baggage. She needs help and u may be the one to get her to let go of it. But whatever happens, DO NOT get married to her until u see signs that she has let go. Otherwise, not only will ur children be born into turbulence but even u will pay for the sins of the past guy! Good luck.

pwitie B said...

Walk away plss a good mother shouldn't b aggressive 2her own blood on matter what

Walata said...

All I can say is still talk to her n watch her for 3months and accompany her to counselling with pastor or revd she will change, she dwells in d past so she's still in d agony n trauma

Anonymous said...

Shez ‎​A̶̲̥̅ bad persn,coz I dont understnd y anybdy will hate ‎​A̶̲̥̅ child she gave birth to. Dude pls D̶̲̥̅̊Ơ̴̴͡n't leav her coz of the way she treats d child,coz who knws wat she'll do to him. But my own opinion is dt she's ‎​A̶̲̥̅ very wicked woman. LD Peperempe

Unknown said...

Help her to understand she needs to turn her hate into love. If thinking about d father's blood in her son makes her hate d son, den she needs to start thinking of her own blood in him. That should make her love him. And seriously she remains d type that takes it out on a person base on another's sin den u need to think twice cos not only will ur unborn child be in danger if u d father made a mistake buh ur whole relations too.#jusmyopinion#

Unknown said...

Jst keep on advisin her if u really luv her...may be is d pain dat she been tru in d hand of d little boy's father dat make her treat him in dat manner.... But jst try 2 help her.

Anonymous said...

Hello Maurin Gabs, "it is simply easier being said than done" Thank you

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Unknown said...

Doesn't look good, see what I advise talk to her, then if she doesnt listen, take a walk...

Anonymous said...

I beg. I beg. Don't blame her. She's psychologically down.

dhobiz said...

Try if she insist leave her coz her attitude towards him will have effect on your kids

Anonymous said...

Bonita, I'm surprised LIBers are giving meaningful comments to someone in need for the first time.
I was actually rushing to yours. I trust they are reasonable. They've always been and I stopped by at some other people's. And it all made sense. New year things I get.

Anonymous said...

Why your life come be like this? Everybody dey make sense. Except you. MUMU OSHI.

Anonymous said...

You're foolish.

Anonymous said...

no, run away because she will bring that hurt to you AND the child ultimately.

canadathingz said...

seriously I think how she treats her son, has something to do with her inner being. If you are showing her enough love.. despite the love she should be able to over look it and love that child. I think for me it shows that she is very unforgivable .. and in marriage you will need uncountable doses of forgiveness to have a healthy and happy marriage.

I understand that she is hurt.. but that little boy did not get her pregnant. if you have dated her for three years yet now change.. I think you have to answer a lot of questions for yourself. determine what is too much for you and act accordingly

mariam said...

At anon 8.01, Ure lucky u had sensible ppl around u Co's it's No one fault that u got pregnant. Every mother trains her child to not whore around with men, boyfriend or not. So if u got pregnant at whatever age, it was ur fault. If I was ur child and u didn't come around to love me the way a mother should, I wud have dealt with u and asked u if I was there when u were being stupid to sleep with a man at a young age. Learn to accept responsibility for ur actions.

Anonymous said...

Toyin Tomato?

Anonymous said...

Toyin Tomato?

Unknown said...

Pls dnt run away fm her all she nid is help.

Anonymous said...

Please don't walk away. I know how i felt when i had a child out of wedlock. I didn't immediately take it out on my child cos i had to protect her from people's hate. But there were times i was so hurt that the slightest thing she did wrong would make me go cray but my child was my friend and we had talks, many talks. Please don't leave her. Help her love the little boy. Her subconscious may think you don't want the boy around and she may act it out without knowing. Leaving would only add to her pain. But you need to teach her to love herself and move on from her past hurt. I would love to talk with her and will send my contact to Linda if you want me to. Just remember, love is patient...and kind. "Port Harcourt Girl"

Dorothy said...

she has deep unhealed wound from the past relationship that begot that innocent boy, I beg you, if you really love her which I know you do(since you are already talking marriage), get her to see a psychologist as soon as possible. Sure after her therapy, you will see her radiate with love for you and the innocent boy as well.

Anonymous said...

o je ko eru re

Unknown said...

what are u waiting for? Do u still want to hear our suggestions and opinions? My dear brother there's no need for all those troubles. Just fly away from the relationship. The lady is very stupid. Is that child not supposed to be a source of joy and peace for her? If she knew she wasn't going to love the poor boy, why did she give birth to him in the first place. Pls i dont waste my pity on such persons. She is a fool.

Anonymous said...

IM A LADY BUT PLS RUN VERY FAAAR..A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT CARE FOR HER BABY CANNOT CARE FOR YOURS EITHER..THERE IS NO EXCUSE ABEG TO RELATE HOW YOU TREAT WHAT YOU CARRIED FOR 9 SOLID MONTHS TOTHE SITUATION WITH THE BABYS DADDY RUUUUUN

Unknown said...

u need to take this matter to human right.This poor boy deserves to be loved.As for his mother, she should be jailed for maltreating her son.

Anonymous said...

I really want to commend u for accepting this woman. But one thing is certain, her past might be ugly and hurting. Let us not judge her. As u have accepted her please it is ur duty to make her to forget that past. Try to $ake her understand how u feel about the whole beating and shouting things. Make her understand that even the death of d boy will not erase the past. It will always be there. It is her duty to forget.

kkkkk said...

She's a devil, there is no explaination as to why a mother shld b wicked to her own blood, do u knw how many woman re fasting nd praying for kids? If u offend her then ur kids will suffer. Bia, a wicked mother is a Wicked mother or haven't u see cases were d men denies d child nd d woman gives d child d best like no man's business ? C'mon let b truthful here jor she's wicked.

Gani said...

Please don't leave her all she needs is to recover from the pain the father of the boy caused or they both caused. Now let me tell you from my own experience, I also had the same issue with my sweetheart she got her first child from a man that had inflicted so much pain into her and she got pregnant for the man out of wedlock upon that the man did some terrible things to her. When she gave birth to the child they were no more together and the man was nowhere to be found. During the pregnancy she said she was praying to have successful miscarriage (very funny) but God didn't yield to her prayer. She had the baby, since then she has never being in good term with the baby. I met her when the baby was 1 year plus 2 months, after two weeks of our relationship i discovered the way she was doing to the girl was very bad I even though she's her niece but quickly found out she’s her daughter, then I asked her why all this to this innocent girl she explain everything to me and I felt for her, after several advises no improvement then I told her if she refuse to give the girl attention she needed then I will divert my attention to her to the girl this was after the girl was about 2yrs plus you know what that means, that means our relationship is about 1yr plus. I decided to be taking so much responsibility of the girl daily activities such as wake and get her ready for school every day take her to school and pick her up from school do her homework (to be sincere it was a very tedious experience but just have to do it because I love her mother so much, funny enough why I fall in love with her was her being caring and very lovely person to be around with only to find out that you can show this to other people but not your own biological daughter then I discovered something is definitely wrong)even sometimes on our way coming back from school we will branch eateries such as mr bigs or sweet sensation. I also organized outing for three of us then when we are walking I always make sure the girl is in between us which she doesn't like because I quickly realized that if I don't solve the problem at that moment then it’s going to be a very serious issue by the time we start having our own child because she might totally ignore or brutally maltreating the girl for she might love our children more than her first child which will in one way or the other affect us and affect our both children. At the end of all this glory be to God this girl and her mother are the best of mother and child and the best friend I have never seen. She's 5yrs plus now and she use to tell me I am her biological father and she loves me to bit but sadly I didnt finally married her mother for a reason best known to three of us. 10years now we are still very much together as best of friends. Please you need to help the child and his mother God sent you to them but that is if you truly love his mother.

Anonymous said...

Why is she making it luk like its d little boys fault she got pregnant. Who send am work or who asked her to get pregnant if she cant luv d boy she shud him back to his dad and wats d probability dat she wont take out her fustrations on ur own kid(s)

Claire said...

I agree with you . Tell her your thoughts and find out if she is willing and capable of changing. But your have a right to be concerned about marrying someone with so much hatred and venom.She is not the first to have had a bad relationship. Just imagine what she is doing to the child. Now she has you she should have been able to put the past behind her and appreciate a new man in her life. Could be her former lover took off because of her character.On the whole I wish you guidance and help from above in making the final decision which must be yours.
Claire

sharon said...

Running is nt d solution,talk to her nd knw more about her past,nd see if u can make amendment by showing more love to her nd her son as if u are his real father. Pls give her little time to heal 4rm her past

Tea said...

I really am sorry abt how you feel, but I believe this can be corrected and you can do it. How? You may ask, simply by showing that lil boy love n kindness, when she is there or not, love that boy from the depth of ur heart, go out n have fun u n d boy alone take his mum along too sometimes, I bet you it will break her free of all those hurt n pains she still carries inside her. There is a saying that goes thus; "if you want something, give same", if u want her to treat him with love, do same to the boy, when she say bad stuffs abt him counter it with kind words, if she curses d child, you bless him. I bet you she wld grow out of d hurt she feels, she isn't a bad person, just a lady that needs to be free of past hurts. I wish you a happy married life in advance.

Linda do ensure you post this

Asiwaju said...

Since she'll always get back at the innocent boy at every little thing, why can't she send the boy to his father or the family so that she can enjoy and forget her past? When majority SM will be begging to allow them go with there child. I just hope she won't kill the boy that seems to be obstacle to her new relationship one day. #idiotsand uselessworthlesssocalledmother#. As for u bro u better think very well before u get into it.#candidadvice4u#.

Anonymous said...

The worst set of people in this world are those who harbour pain and bitterness and turn it to hatred. Those people feel they are the only ones who have gone through pain and hurt and they use their past as a reason to justify bad behavior. I know some experiences can be traumatizing, but we must learn to see the positives in everything.

That is where the young lady needs to start from. She needs to see her experience as a lesson and see the boy as an opportunity for a greater testimony. He could help by taking her to counselors, praying with her & advising her. But that marriage P should be put on hold, cos if she doesn't change, he & his kids will suffer (in many ways). It might help in negotiations for her to seek help, cos she will be defensive.

But above all, pray hard for urself and seek godly counsel

Amarachukwu said...

If u walk away frm d r/ship n she finds out y,she will kill d boy,is that what u want?NO! So I guess u continue talking to her if she truly luvs u she will change.

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