Dear LIB readers: My husband thinks I lied about being a virgin because I didn't bleed the first time | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

LI_Leaderboard_4

LI_Leaderboard_1

LI_Leaderboard_2

LI_Leaderboard_3

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Dear LIB readers: My husband thinks I lied about being a virgin because I didn't bleed the first time

From a female LIB reader
I'm a young girl of 28 years. I'm married to a lovely husband that loves me so much but my problem is this. I married my hubby as a virgin but the first time we made love, he was expecting to see blood which he didn't and since then he has been accusing me of telling him lies about being a virgin.
I asked few of my friends and they told me that yes that blood is suppose to be a proof to that. I became more confused as I know deep down in me that am saying the truth. I confided in my mother and she told me the story of my life.
My mum said that when I was 4years old that our tenant called me into his room to come and take toys. The next thing she saw when I came out from the man's room was blood coming out from my vagina.
Immediately she called my father and they went to meet the man and lo and behold he had ran away. My problem now is should I explain to my hubby all this? Will he still love me? My fellow LIB please I need ur advise on this.

505 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   401 – 505 of 505
Unknown said...

You should let him know.and put it in prayers

Joy(sharonlady002@yahoo.com said...

Pls do my dear

CELEB said...

Sometimes the mind can shield u from remebering traumatic experiences especially at that age

Unknown said...

Arrange a meeting between ur mom and him. Dazzol

Anonymous said...

I think you only need to explain to him and very honestly he should believe you and let the sleeping dog because I will believe that we are past the age of conditional marriage which everyone should avoid at all cost. This might be used to settle some scores that may be hanging and you don't know. You will get to know him the more from now and you may get a new definition of your relationship from here.
He is only being childish as there are other women that never had sex before but because they have been involved in a type of sport / hard exercise earlier have broken their hymen and they will not bleed when they have sex the first time. Not bleeding the first time you have sex does necessarily NOT confirm that you have had sex before and not enough reason for your husband to put up any negative reaction.
Wish you the best of luck. Toks

Anonymous said...

I wasn't molested but i didn't bleed d 1st time either

Anonymous said...

U can remember things from when u were 4 clap 4 urself

TeeKay said...

just one question.. is he a virgin too? oshi!

SWAAG said...

NO NEED TO EXPLAIN...JUST TELL HIM....I JUST DONT KNOW WHY MOST OF YOU LADIES LIE ALOT.

AM CONFUSED.

Unknown said...

Wen u were in a hurry to comment...y wont u ask such rubbish question. she was molested mai nama

Anonymous said...

that could be PVC Age

Anonymous said...

eiyaaa...it happens buh very rare


missvee

Anonymous said...

Child plsssss.....Not everybody is ur sister

Davido's driver said...

He wont bliv.nth can be done

Anonymous said...

Shattap there idiot and go back to school...are u a virgin too? Stupid boy!

Anonymous said...

i fink d best thing to do is invite ur parents over and let them b the one to explain to ur husband,,,then keep praying too coz tis gonna b kinda difficult fr d guy, even if he believes, it myt hurt

Anonymous said...

I believe her the first day I had sex I did not bleed

ASAMPOKOTO said...

It closes ke? Are you a clown? What?????? Pls don't speak on what you do not know

Dazzlnbeau said...

Exactly!!!

chacha babe said...

Abeg Mrs Virginia tok true o, am fyndin it hard 2 blv if u ddnt hv d intention of teln lies y ddnt u tel him of dt incident b4 claimin u r a virgin so dt if it hapns u r nt u hv alrdy told him, beta tok true who hs bin poundin u b4 ur matter go pass matthias oooh

Anonymous said...

A man who truly loves you, would always love you. True or False? True, but the fact remains that "Virginity" is not a reason for marriage. Meanwhile, you must understand one fact, telling a man the Truth from the very beginning, is the best way to win a sincere heart of that man. If you were actually aware of that info about your CRADLE,why didn't you TELL your Husband before marriage. then let him decide if he still want you as a wife or not. I think you erred in that instance. however, people differ, cos if I was the one being a first time offender, I will forgive you. yet, be rest assured that your loyalty to me as your husband must never be compromised from that moment.

Unknown said...

As ur mum to explain to him

Unknown said...

Pls tell ur mum to explain ur hubby

Anonymous said...

Two things are involved;
1. Tell him the truth.
2. Drop his contact details and I will do the needful on your behalf.
#TruthMustBeTold

Anonymous said...

Two things are involved;
1. Tell him the truth.
2. Drop his contact details and I will do the needful on your behalf.
#TruthMustBeTold

dami said...

Whether your hubby will believe u or not, whether he'll still love you or not, he deserves to know the truth from you. He's kinda disappointed cos he didn't meet u a virgin as claimed and dats y he needs to know the truth. If need be, your parents need to call him and explain better to him.

Anonymous said...

God bless you o! Because I didn't bleed the very first time and nobody raped or molested me.

Anonymous said...

Don't mind dem jare, I didn't bleed too

Anonymous said...

Very true! I didn't bleed either and was very into sports when I was much younger

Anonymous said...

Yes not all virgins bleed. I didn't bleed either the very first time.

Anonymous said...

Abia!!!! Make I hear say morrow no be work.

Miss Independent said...

Tell him the Truth......

Anonymous said...

SWEETHEART
THE PROBLEM IS HIS DICK MIGJHT BE TOO SMALL!!!!
TRUST ME, IT HAPPENED TO ME AND I WAS SHOCKED TOO, UNTIL I WAS INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE ELSE THEN VOILA! I BLED A LOT
LINDA PUT MY COMMENT WHERE SHE CAN SEE IT
Take hear sister

Unknown said...

Not everybody bleeds the first time, tell your husband to Google it.
no need of telling him that sob story of when u were 4. that one would bring another matter.
If ur conscience is clear, just relax yourself. No sensible man will end his marriage for this dry issue.

Unknown said...

Abi o,i dnt understand dis pple oo,so she z 2 invite r mum 2 help r tell r supposed hubby dat she waz raped @ age 4,sister abeg ehn,kip it 2 ursef,just make him understand dat not al gurls bleed after avin sex 4 d first time.SIMPLE

Unknown said...

Hmmm! I think u should tell him the truth. It may not go well wit him bt believe me he will come around nd learn to trust u.

Unknown said...

Hmmm! I think u should tell him the truth. It may not go well wit him bt believe me he will come around nd learn to trust u.

Unknown said...

Hmmm! I think u should tell him the truth. It may not go well wit him bt believe me he will come around nd learn to trust u.

Toronto Finest said...

I read ppl's comment saying u shd tell him and make sure your mom is there.. listen, if I was your hubby, even if your pastor and your general overseer is there.. I wont buy that crap. U cant make me wait that long and make me look stupid at the end. No way!!!

Anonymous said...

God bless you o!! Some ignoramus are saying you must bleed. Yeye I didn't bleed the first time either!

Anonymous said...

the last Nigerian virgin, lie kill you and your mama, and your selfish husband wey dey find virgin you this archaic and timid Nigerians in this century......

cece said...

Im sorry for the stress uv been through. Here's what virgins should know :

The good news is that there is nothing wrong with a woman if she doesn’t notice any blood the first time she has sex. Not all women bleed when they have vaginal intercourse for the first time. Here’s why.

No Two Hymens Are Alike
Female babies are born with different amounts of hymen that cover part of the vagina.

The hymen is a tissue that’s filled with blood vessels that typically covers part of the vaginal opening.

Some girls have a thick hymen or a hymen that covers a lot of the vaginal opening. Other girls have a very thin hymen or a hymen that covers very little of the vaginal opening.

As girls grow up into women, some of the hymen may wear away gradually over time, and young women would never even know it.

There are many things that may help to wear away the hymen over time, including certain activities such as gymnastics or horseback riding, as well as using a tampon, fingering oneself during masturbation, or being fingered by a partner during sex play or foreplay.

- See more at: http://kinseyconfidential.org/bleed-lost-virginity/#sthash.DACFHOGA.dpuf



However since u stated something happened while u were much younger which u knew nothing about...errrrr I dunno....!

cleo said...

Abegi that your husband is funny, shey him wan carry virgin go heaven, iF Actually you are a virgin, you should be tight there that one no do am as eveidence.explain to him if you have a reason to .

Anonymous said...

Some people can lie oooo, @ 4 yrs and u can't remember, yea right, and to think u posted the story on LIB so ur husband could read and believe u more, some people sharp oooo

Unknown said...

virginity is like the simpelest thing to keep as lady and if u cant always let ur finance know b4 marriage bcos if he finds out himself it wld make u look very inferior in his sight

Unknown said...

Explain to him am get ur Mum involve too and pray that He will understand

Damola Gbadegesin said...

What is it with men and blood sef? How can seeing blood be an issue na? Kai. If his dick was big enough he would have seen at least stains of blood cos you would be very tight since u never had sex for so long.So let him blame him self too for having tiny dick.lol. cant stop laughing.

Unknown said...

Olodo!!!!!! Do u remember events wen u were four?, such a dumb contribution.

Anonymous said...

@meetdrealevans. U r so ignorant on this so kip quiet. Its not compulsory for all female to bleed n not having sex for a long time dont put hymen back. Take ur time n read wide before commenting childishly. Be guided.

Anonymous said...

@Eze cee, Dats 2 harsh, guess ur mother is a bitch!

Anonymous said...

Did not bleed the first time i had sex, it's rare but it does happen

Anonymous said...

Incomplete story...... Am very sure there is more to this story.
#Lesson always discuss things with your parents especially about your childhood they might just reveal things to you that you never imagined#.

tosinfunmi23@gmail.com

Unknown said...

YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO BE EDUCATED ABOUT THE FACT THAT A WOMAN'S VIRGINITY IS NOT ONLY BROKEN THRU SEX.

Anonymous said...

When I lost my virginity there was no blood either . That's cos I was told I probably broke my hymen during exercises in primary and secondary school . It's not compulsory that you'd bleed during ur fires sexual intercourse. People need to get educated . Sex education should be introduced in our junior schools in Nigeria

precious said...

The truth is the truth. if that was your yes (a virgin), then he should believe you. congrats my dear, you are scarce in recent days

Redcandy said...

If he really loves you, then he should understand.

Redcandy
****www.idoncomeagain.com****

SB said...

U said my mind. Exactly ooooo. It will be closed if it was opened at a tender age. Erepa too dey open am. Tree climbing etc.

Redcandy said...

If he really loves you, then he should understand.

Redcandy
****www.idoncomeagain.com****

SB said...

Exactly my point.

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Awwwww.... It's not any fault of urs na. If he really loves u, notin shld change

joystickextender@gmail.com said...

Your so on point it closes back after no penetration for years and there must be a drop or 2of blood anyways just explain to your husband

Anonymous said...

"Linda take note" everyday, abeg park well. Must you always comment?

Anonymous said...

that's a really insensitive thing to say. At that age you really cant remember. And the human brain tries to blur such experiences. Only when triggered again do such things come to a victim's memory. Can you remember everything that happened when you were 4? People deal with stuff differently. If your husband blames you for getting raped, then he is a bigger fool than the rapist.

Unknown said...

Ode tlk! Take Ur sadictic sef outta here

Unknown said...

Stories dat tickles d bombom............




*oparoescalade*

Unknown said...

Stories dat tickles d bombom............




*oparoescalade*

nenyemena said...

Hmmmm so story and an uneducated unenlightened man too. Biko my dear give ur husband homework. Stick to your purity story(truth is you are a virgin) and Tell him to google up if all virgins bleed the first time and also ask doctor friends to find out. You can tell him the rape story later when things r bk to normal.

Unknown said...

I don't buy the story the mum told her. If she was raped at 4, she should remember.
Anyway, not every virgin bleeds. Vaginas have a thin tissue that stretches across part of the opening. This is called a hymen. Sometimes when girls have vaginal sex for the first time, their hymen gets stretched open, which can cause pain or bleeding. But the hymen can also naturally stretch from things like sports, using a tampon, or putting fingers or other objects in the vagina. And many girls are born with very little hymenal tissue to begin with, so it may seem like they don’t have a hymen at all. Whether you bleed the first time you have sex or not, you and your hymen are completely normal!

@Linda, post my comment for once na, haba

Unknown said...

I don't buy the story the mum told her. If she was raped at 4, she should remember.
Anyway, not every virgin bleeds. Vaginas have a thin tissue that stretches across part of the opening. This is called a hymen. Sometimes when girls have vaginal sex for the first time, their hymen gets stretched open, which can cause pain or bleeding. But the hymen can also naturally stretch from things like sports, using a tampon, or putting fingers or other objects in the vagina. And many girls are born with very little hymenal tissue to begin with, so it may seem like they don’t have a hymen at all. Whether you bleed the first time you have sex or not, you and your hymen are completely normal!

@Linda, post my comment for once na, haba

Anonymous said...

Dumbass shut up. Kids block out horrible experiences from that age. So its very possible she can't remember. And BTW Mr smart Alec how many things from age 4 can u remember. Mscheeew

Unknown said...

Best comment. Virginity is beyond hymen. It's a state of the mind....

Anonymous said...

She told her mum wah happnd.. nd her mum gave her d story.. open ur eyes nd read b4 u drop comments.. MTCHEWWWWWW

Unknown said...

People like you are potential rapist who believe every innocent ladies live a reckless life like you and most have a hole bigger than your head... hence you pounce on them....

Anonymous said...

please don't listen to these ignorant individuals. the problem is your husband is ignorant as well. not every woman bleeds after her hymen is broken. the reason you bleed normally is because there is pressure around your hymen but if there is no pressure you might not bleed and secondly even women who have been dis-virgined could still bleed as a result of tightness around that area.... so o're good even tho your hymen was broken at a young age,, it got tighter over time.

ket said...

Not all virgins bleed. And that's the truth my dear. Did he marry you out of love or because you are a virgin?

Anonymous said...

People like you is the reason why we need sex exposure in Nigeria. Anumalu!

Anonymous said...

I've neve been raped and i never bled when i lost my virginity

Unknown said...

Truthooooo

Anonymous said...

Are you stupid??? Don't you read the story properly before putting out your dumb comment, she talked bout her mom noticing it smh

Unknown said...

Your mum should have told u this to avoid this kinda thing, just tell ur hubby what ur mum told u n see his reaction

Unknown said...

Bullshit! U are nt a virgin and u know it u lied period. Let d guy have a full refund of his hard earned money d whole marriage stuff was built on deceit, lie and lies. If na me, I will sue for a full refund of my money; breach of agreement, false representation of urself. Sue! Refund!refund!

Unknown said...

Bullshit! U are nt a virgin and u know it u lied period. Let d guy have a full refund of his hard earned money d whole marriage stuff was built on deceit, lie and lies. If na me, I will sue for a full refund of my money; breach of agreement, false representation of urself. Sue! Refund!refund!

Unknown said...

Bullshit! U are nt a virgin and u know it u lied period. Let d guy have a full refund of his hard earned money d whole marriage stuff was built on deceit, lie and lies. If na me, I will sue for a full refund of my money; breach of agreement, false representation of urself. Sue! Refund!refund!

Unknown said...

Wait o..... shey na tru say the first tyme blood dey come out

Moprotsa - Equality for All said...

I am really shocked at most of the comments i have seen in response to a lady telling people that she was abused as a child. someone even accused her of lying. Sexual abuse is real. It happens to 4 out of 10 girls and 1 out of 6 boys. The fact is that many of the people making comments would have been abused themselves. This is an evil perpetrated in our society and hidden. We need to be true to ourselves. We need to challenge the silence. A husband, wife, mother, father, whoever should be sympathetic to a person who has been abused rather than being judgmental and denying that it didnt happen. Please lets all do our part to stop sexual abuse. break the silence.

Anonymous said...

Olodo.she said her mum told her.

Anonymous said...

Dumb eze! Ur usual way

Thelma Zebbs said...

Me just thinking, if u were disvirgined at 4 and u abstained from sex for 24yrs, u r supposed to be super tight that he may not get access the first time. You didnt mention if it was painful.

The first three times I had sex was like the very piercing first time. Very painful and difficult for him to get in.
Also, my girlfriend disvirgined at 18, she didn't have sex agin till she's 26 and she said it was like disvirgining again. The guy actually thought she was and she took the glory.

What I'm trying to say is that the years you were celibate is enough to seal that place up. Well, body differs sha. Tell him,gaining his trust is important.

Tunrayo said...

Why are u so bitter? Take a chill pill bro!

Anonymous said...

Oga. I lost my virginity at age 15 and there was no blood. Not at all. Thank God I lost it to a virgin like me . So he cud relate.

Unknown said...

You have said it all Emralda ... The only thing to do is to let the sleeping dog lie. Changing the story now will confuse the whole thing the more and worsen the situation. Truth is, it's not in all cases of having sex first time that every lady most bleed. It depends on how the sex was conducted... And again, we haven't been told whether the man himself was a virgin or not. If he was not a virgin, how come he is so much worried after discovering that his wife is equally not a virgin??

Unknown said...

Why is everyone finding fault with this lady who may have said the simple truth... ?? The husband who became so worried after not seeing blood when having his first sex with his wife..., what was his own sex status?? If he was not a virgin, why should he make so much ado out of nothing, by making life miserable for his wife who was 'equally' not a virgin??

Anonymous said...

No, do not tell him. Have your parents tell him! That will shut him up about the whole virginity issue. You married him as a virgin, you never had consensual sex with anybody until your wedding night, you gave your body only to him and he should be satisfied with that. Sick of these men and how caught up they are on virginity.

Anonymous said...

if you have been treated for toilet infection there you would loose ur harmer u can still be a virgin but if u have sex you wont bleed. so is possible not to bleed

She said...

HE should know the difference from a used vagina and unused one. Just tell him the truth as you know it.

Monkey Face said...

Shut up plz

Anonymous said...

pls tell him the truth now and believe me if he truly luvs u as he claim den he will believe and trust u again by Godz grace.

Anonymous said...

i feel ds lady is stressing herslf over nothing. if he doesnt believe that is his business u owe nobody any explanation. its only ignorant pple that dont know that its nt all virgins that bleed.i nva bled

Anonymous said...

Awwwwn dats rili pathetic. ...just tell ur husband if he loves you he will understand and if he doesn't understand then he doesn't deserve you...you deserve the best especially after what you have suffered..It is well

Anonymous said...

Awwwwn dats rili pathetic. ...just tell ur husband if he loves you he will understand and if he doesn't understand then he doesn't deserve you...you deserve the best especially after what you have suffered..It is well

Anonymous said...

Awwwwn dats rili pathetic. ...just tell ur husband if he loves you he will understand and if he doesn't understand then he doesn't deserve you...you deserve the best especially after what you have suffered..It is well

Anonymous said...

Awwwwn dats rili pathetic. ...just tell ur husband if he loves you he will understand and if he doesn't understand then he doesn't deserve you...you deserve the best especially after what you have suffered..It is well

Anonymous said...

Awwwwn dats rili pathetic. ...just tell ur husband if he loves you he will understand and if he doesn't understand then he doesn't deserve you...you deserve the best especially after what you have suffered..It is well

Anonymous said...

Awwwwn dats rili pathetic. ...just tell ur husband if he loves you he will understand and if he doesn't understand then he doesn't deserve you...you deserve the best especially after what you have suffered..It is well

Unknown said...

Her mum should ve explained this to her since b4 she even met her man. So that she wouldn't ve d impression of being a virgin.

«Oldest ‹Older   401 – 505 of 505   Newer› Newest»

Recent Posts