Dear LIB readers - My boss is making me uncomfortable | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Dear LIB readers - My boss is making me uncomfortable

From a female LIB reader
I am a corps member serving in Yenagoa. I have a work problem and it's with my immediate boss. He calls me "baby" or "my baby" or "my darling". He uses my name and surname as his password. He rubs my shoulders and looks at me in a lecherous way. When he started offering me money, I refused but he covered up and said he gives me because of the amount of workload I carry and that I shouldn't refuse again when he does. He offers me lifts and I refuse with the excuse that I have somewhere else to go, not home. But the shocker is that recently, he told me he is falling in love with me and that I shouldn't be scared. Continue...
I truly don't understand what that means and how I should go about it. Should I really be scared? Should I keep away from him? I will be done in June so I still have a couple of months to be in the office. What should I do? And yes, he is married with children. I don't believe in using my body to get "what I want". Infact, I think it's disgusting. I'd rather hustle on my own and make my own money.

325 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Men and women ehhhhh. Sum men re like dogs and he goats. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#

Anonymous said...

So what is your problem na?

Unknown said...

Take it to God in prayers.

Anonymous said...

He just wants to F*** you know this already so why are you acting like there is a dilemma? Okay if you don't know what to do I'll tell you . Stop accepting his gift and react angrily when he touches you . You sound like you are giving him yellow light so he thinks he can turn it green . If you are not interested just say so . It's just NYSC sef.

Anonymous said...

Hunnay, fuck him, fuck his brains out and get a permanent position.
I've graduated a while and can't seem to land a job despite my competencies. I had to start a business and daily rely on God. He's been faithful, but I'd rather have things easier.
Your friends that might not even have jobs but are married to super rich sugar daddies via Jazz of course will drive by you and ask you 'how market?"
If you don't wanna endure all that shit.. ...Nike says 'Just do it!'
But use sense o, get the job before flinging up your legs wide apart.
Best wishes.
*** Blacknfly@gmail.com ***

preciousme said...

Please let him know your stand and make him stay off. He only want to sleep with you if you agree no better plan girl.

Unknown said...

You are doing great already. Keep it up and cool.

Unknown said...

My dear u don't ve to b scared and u don't ve to sleep with him no matter what he dose or give to u, I agree with u though to husle on on ur I know is not going to b easy but is d best thing to do.

Anonymous said...

My dear,run ooooo.Bayelsa men are just mad ass womanizer..they just like women

Anonymous said...

office palaver...tomjerryswit

Unknown said...

Good decision dear. Just keep on ur stand till u finish and pry always

Rachenny09 said...

yes.... let him know ur a good believer, u can't do any thing of such nature. stand on it and be wise by being diplomatic with it afterall u av a very short time there.

Anonymous said...

This is sexual harassment at work place. Please refer your case to NGO's that manages gender issues. Behaviors like these should be discouraged.

Unknown said...

IF you have been able to ignore his advances till this very time, then keep it till June.

Rachenny09 said...

hmmmm! pls i wld advice u maintain ur stand by not compromising since u av a short time there....

Anonymous said...

Just chill there and kip posting him and his advances till you leave in June

TripleC SDK BlogBoo said...

Hustle Nd Make ur own money if truly u Can.... Wish u God's Favour

Anonymous said...

Why are you asking that stupid question ... do what you think is right which you know already. Remember.... what goes around comes around.

Cynthia Iyede said...

Keep avoiding him until you are done with your service prog. Its good you have good morals in you. Its well

Madam Bose said...

MY PIKIN, JUST IGNORE THE AGBAYAA...

Anonymous said...

My dear (sory to have called mine lol) continue keeping him aloof, be still and rigid. Don't give him more than current space and be neutral. Am glad that there are still nice girls like you in this country regardless of what oda chicks has turned themselves into. Some times when i remember i will get married soon, i get total confused. Keep it up dear.

Blog It With Olivia said...

Love †Ñ’ξ part of not using ur body to get what u want, that means u got good head sitting on ur shoulders...that apart...

Pls don't fall for him cos if u do αи∂ knowing fully well he's married with kids, nemesis will catch up with u...
Seriously, its very bad to mingle with married men....cos any home u destroy today must come after u αи∂ destroy whatever home u may have in d future.....
Pls stay away from dat dude...... He's a destroyer, he wanna destroy God's plan dats awaiting u in d nearest future
I promise u, if u ever fall for his pranks...cos that's what it is....he doesn't love u....he's lusting after ur body.....ur gonna regret it. Believe me gurl

Meanwhile pls mind d way u dress to work....maybe ur dressing is what's seducing him...just be very careful pls

Blog It With Olivia said...

Love †Ñ’ξ part of not using ur body to get what u want, that means u got good head sitting on ur shoulders...that apart...

Pls don't fall for him cos if u do αи∂ knowing fully well he's married with kids, nemesis will catch up with u...
Seriously, its very bad to mingle with married men....cos any home u destroy today must come after u αи∂ destroy whatever home u may have in d future.....
Pls stay away from dat dude...... He's a destroyer, he wanna destroy God's plan dats awaiting u in d nearest future
I promise u, if u ever fall for his pranks...cos that's what it is....he doesn't love u....he's lusting after ur body.....ur gonna regret it. Believe me gurl

Meanwhile pls mind d way u dress to work....maybe ur dressing is what's seducing him...just be very careful pls

Anonymous said...

Male bosses are utter pigs. Its best you tell him upfront that ure not interested. Men in yenagoa are hopeless flirts, so am sure ure not d 1st corper he's doing dis to. Be careful

Unknown said...

As if you don't like it

Anonymous said...

U better enjoy it now before your broke BF breaks up with u.

xquisite said...

My dear clearly you know the right thing to do. Endure and give him boundary, June is almost here don't let one useless man spoil your life cos I m sure you plan to have ur own family and all.

Unknown said...

my dear flee from every form of temptation, ignore his advances, flow but with caution till u re done so dat he wont hunt u oh and above all utilize ur knees in prayers and God wld pin him down for u

Faceless She said...

So you already know what to do..so why distract us with this epistle of yours?!

Anonymous said...

really LOL at this. Even a five year old child will fight tooth and nail to avoid eating feces. Your asking us to help you decide here is simply because you are very interested in having a relationship with your boss. Imagine if it was one dirty aboki gateman that was toasting you. Would you ask our opinion on what to do? Go jor

Unknown said...

U knw what is right already. Asking questions like this is lyk, u want to deviate. Jst bevurslf ok? I am sure he wont force you.


@Sophia Stephen

Unknown said...

Babes, simply tell him how you feel. Its either you are interested or not. Remember, silence means consent. Let him know in a polite and firm way that you are not attracted to him in that kind of way and stop collecting his gifts.

Lady C said...

Kip on giving him excuses on y u cant bi with him

Unknown said...

my dear i think u should still pretend to like him, stay an armlength from him and always pretend to be busy whenever he's around.

KWIN MEENA said...

If he was single or even divorced i would av said giv it a try, but married wit kids, NO NO. Kip makin xcuses to kip him @ bay until u leave dt place. Dnt be d weapon of destruction of someone's home. And, all d best.

Unknown said...

Babe back off he's a family man

Deedee said...

SEEMS LIKE U ALREADY KNW HOW TO REACT SO Y COME OUT AND TALK STORY? EVRY1 WANNA BE HEARD #NEXT

Anonymous said...

Ur nt a kid,tell him ur mind straight up n avoid him completely

Unknown said...

If he's making u uncomfortable make him feel d same way too. Tell him Ur mind, dt Ur not interested and if he threatens you, do d same tin to him by recording sum of his conversation wit u based on sex or his feelings for u. Then use it to threaten him, telling him u wil use it to expose him if he doesn't liv u alone. A times one has to be mean in certain issues. Cause ds married me r becoming more stupid by the day

Ijanyimitch said...

Hmmmmm, if dude makes u uncomfortable then make him comfortable

tosin k.e said...

It's difficult, I must tell you. You have to apply wisdom in such dealings.

Unknown said...

You're just looking for who will support you so dat you can have an affair with your boss. #OkBye

@BOBO_EDO

Unknown said...

The lord is your muscle…..Ask the holy spirit for directions.

Unknown said...

Silly Girl!! U asked a question and answered d. Question!!

Anonymous said...

My dear. Pls don't waste ur time wt that low life u call a boss. Tell him that u r not interested and she shd take his meaningless advances elsewhere.

Gentletee said...

You are on top of the situation I believe so just hang on there till u are done till june.

Anonymous said...

let him know your stand that you object his advances on you then report the matter to your zonal inspector or LI if he continues. a change of primary assignment may be recommended.goodluck

Anonymous said...

Ode why u dey ask us?

Anonymous said...

The man is lustful.Stay far away from this man.he is telling you what he won,t tell his wife because he wants what is under your skirt.Say no to him and stay alive.

Anonymous said...

I'm based in bayelsa and i know that it's not a much you yield to whatever advances he poses to you. He is married with kids...what else is there to, or to not do it...run like mad....by the way has he slept with you already and probably on your neck for more...bayelsa men are grossly polygamous, and their idea of a proper marriage is warped....so..something tells me u are enjoying the 'totori'... worst case scenario, go to your Z.I. for reposting.

Anonymous said...

don't be scared, report him to God and you can also ask for a transfer from your local government inspector LGI stating this reason.

Anonymous said...

I like your reply! some questions should not even be asked as far as I'm concerned. If you feel uncomfortable with the attention he his showering you with, tell him straight.

Anonymous said...

Stupid question... if u ask me

Anonymous said...

Anon,8:55am.Your comment reeks of hate & a product of uncouthness. Did she tell you she wanted to do anything with the said boss? She's express sing her disgust & probably wants advice on how to manage the man until she leaves there. If you have nothing positive to tell her, just shut up.

Lillygal said...

Just keep managing to avoid him, don't be too harsh on him because of your job, just try your best to balance the issue and keep posting him until you finish then you flee from him cos most of these men are randy.. My dear it's not easy but you have to try... Continue with the avoiding method

Anonymous said...

IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE THEN REPORT TO YOUR L.I SO THEY COULD SEE IF YOU CAN BE REPOSTED TO ANOTHER PPA FOR THE REMAININIG FOUR MONTHS YOU HAVE LEFT.

Lucky Lu said...

Well said first commenter.
As for you corper lady. It's a free world. A little indulgence never hurt anybody . Over indulgence does it. Discretion should be ur watchword here.
We can only talk and talk but its up to you to open up or zip up.
Hasta-la-vista

#Luckylualua

Anonymous said...

am sure this first person to comment must be a frustrated married woman,u cant possibly understand Wat it means for ur boss to harass you at work.#sipscoffee#

Unknown said...

This Question tho

Ifeanyi said...

Is this really someone's story or is Linda cooking up this story? Why should she be asking such a question? She is old enough to know what is right joor, so, go ahead and do it.

Unknown said...

Do you really need our opinion on this?

Unknown said...

Women and their pretence, why where u shocked when he said he has faaling in love? Is that a new thing, is ur kind of girl that will use bcos fear and give in to a man u don't like, u re jus a corpe member in the office, not even a permanent staff, so why worry? Let him know u re nt interested period. If he troubles u.

Addyogiri.blogspot.com said...

Stick to your believe

Unknown said...

Write a complaint to the NYSC liaison office in the LGA of your PPA, that way you get redrafted to another PPA or the old man get a stern warning. It passes as sexual harassment.

Tobi said...

I can't understand why LIB commenter can't just give their thoughts without being negative or insultive. Did she do wrong by asking, she just wants a second opinion

Unknown said...

please lady, do not give into his demands, office romance is not right, since he is married, he will just use you and fire you afterwards.....(linda take note)....I cant believe I started saying this too

Unknown said...

Kind of questions I see here

Anonymous said...

dont give in

Tolu Abiodun said...

Better Talk my dear anonymous, see question for the gods oooooo. Do what is right and yeah its very true: what goes around comes around.

Unknown said...

You better don't listen to him, u will not gain anything from because he is a married man.

Anonymous said...

Really it isn't a stupid question....she is just confused, besides it takes who has experienced what she is going through now to understand. i served in Ondo and it wasn't funny..My HOD was really on my case and he wasn't the only one but what helped me was that i kept on telling myself that i would never stoop so low as to have an affair with a married man, or sell my body....This guy gave me gifts too but i refused all. So dear, what i will just say is that stand firm on your principles and don't allow that pathetic and irresponsible man use you, cause at the end of the day he is going back to his wife and he will deny you!!

GALORE said...

Mtcheeeee.... Ye ye talk....the thing wen u go do dey ur mind already

To slap this girl dey worry me

U go just be side chick for nothing.....he is married... Leave him.



@Galore

Anonymous said...

Dear,it is a normal thing u just need to be careful and follow ur heart.pray for God grace to overcomes it.because it is not easy @ all

ukbliss said...

Hahahahah! u just cracked me up

Anonymous said...

Abi oooo....simply tell ur LGI that ur aren't sexually comfy there, you'd b sent somewhere else

Anonymous said...

Ajuju, an dult like u is asking for what to do, as grown as u are, when u already know the answer, and I think is time for those who are seeking people's opinion should take their personal matter elsewhere, attention seekers una dohhh!! Linda pls take note. #Gbam.

casino said...

Are u still a virgin? And how did u know he used ur name as his password? My dear u dy enjoy am...and don't forget to use condom....lol

Anonymous said...

So if your sister came to you with this issue, this is what you are going to say to her. Okay ooo.

Unknown said...

Since he's married forget it, call it quit




#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

felicia said...

please dn't mind him just keeping posting him till you will be done in his office by june...like seriously i dn't understand why are dis so called boss really like demanding sex from there female workers#sadface# same thing am going thru now, but no i rather be jobless or do any petty job to gv me money dan to sit in a office and use my self as a sex slave









i love you linda

Anonymous said...

Flee

Anonymous said...

Flee

Anonymous said...

U are a learner . Linda stop posting nonsense questions like this. Is this girl not a adult? Is it the first time she's recieving sexual advances from the opposite sex? No one can tell u what to do except Ur self, so try to be smart. U either fall for it or stand Ur ground simple! July is almost here, stand Ur ground, say no and keep moving. What more can he do? Go to nysc and tell them not to give u ur certificate? No! So what else are u here asking us silly questions for!?

Gbenga said...

Did you say June is around the corner? Babe na Jan we still dey o! Make dat babe warn dat guy wella. Tell him to park well jare! Stupid randy old man dey spoil show for guys!

Juleslouis said...

Sweetie u already know what to do. Keep it up and do it already.

Juleslouis said...

Sweetie u already know what to do. Keep it up and do it already.

Stevoski said...

Na u holy pass?... dnt pretend as if u dnt lyk money...u cud chop d money while stock last

Anonymous said...

You can be dressed from head to toe and still be harassed. It is people like you that justify rape and this kind of nonsense behaviour. Mtchewwwww

Anonymous said...

Looooool. That reply has NEVER worked for such people.

Anonymous said...

Stupid question. Wetin concern dis for de mata?

John Bosco said...

GO MEET #DRBLACKSON @THEREALMICHAELBLACKSON for advice YOU DEEP COCK SUCKING BEEEECH!

yawanow said...

Quite tempting. My advise is RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. If you give in coz of material things, he will use you and move on to the next corper.

Unknown said...

Hmm he's married and u sayin u dnt knw what to do bout it, I'll advise u to stand on ya ground if u knw what's gud fo u

prettyjules said...

Willy howfar nah... Lmao I can see thru you.. i can.. like the babe doesn't know her boss wants to play ball.. pretender oshi!!

Unknown said...

pray about it www.provydon1.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? can one go on hot coals and his feet not be burned. Proverb 6:27-28 my dear be of good courage and stand against sin because it will destroy all that u hv laboured for.

Anonymous said...

Lmao ur mean! Don't mind her ejima Jesus. Since u so knw the right thing to do y bother us. Ezigbo next plzzzzzzz!

Anonymous said...

Linda Ikeji is your mentor, oya hustle on ur own and make it BIG like her ooooooooo. i wish u well.

Anonymous said...

Aboki... Over sabi! It's batch B

Eagle Eyes Media said...

This one no be LI matter. Let her simply say yes or no. Unless the man is using threat or force.

Anonymous said...

If you can't handle the pressure anymore and you're afraid he may hurt you or damage your reputation then please report this to your local government inspector in confidence and ask to be reposted. You're entitled to this. And whatever signal he's getting off you to give him the impression that he may get what he wants you need to STOP it immediately. A loud bold and aggressive NO with treats should be more like it.

Anonymous said...

Girl u already know d answer na.

Anonymous said...

Ok u want us to tell u what to do? Oya agree for him.

Anonymous said...

Be smart about it dear. 1st ask God to show u how to handle it in such a way you don't have issues with him bcoz remember held need to sign ur P.C every month. If you've been dressing to flashy try and reduce it as well as ur makeup. It works.

Unknown said...

Bae carry ur cross, do wat is best for u,if really ur saying the truth,

Mz Naija said...

You alraedy know the right thing to do...do not be scared..go ahead with the RIGHT THING..

DAMME said...

IF you like him, u can give him a trial..... its not a crime for you boss to like u or is it?

Unknown said...

U'r a Mumu at moses..cant u for once be useful?..my dear do not give in to his passes..u'd rather be self made than lay low..

Unknown said...

stop receiving his cash neh, but till june lady.. hmmmm, but thats none of my business!!!

Unknown said...

stop receiving his cash neh, but till june lady.. hmmmm, but thats none of my business!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't let him destroy you ooo. Preach to him
Mrs Feyi

Anonymous said...

advice ur sef

@lwkmd_naija

Henry Charles Udeze said...

Oyolowa

Unknown said...

Nne reject the devil and stay away from him as much as u can

klue said...

The Oga just wants to have sex..

Subomi said...

manage till June, keep refusing his advances.. pele

Cutest Babe said...

You know what is right now so do it

don't be an olodo said...

olodo, as if say you dull before. i sure say you don give out the thing already. all this peeps hia forming saint. their sainthood finish for the comment o. in this world now, if u shine the guy no wahala, if u nor shine am no wahala. dont come up in here acting like you dont know what u about.
me, i dey #teamshinetheguycongo enjoy yasef and move on.

Anonymous said...

all of you talking make him realize the disadvantage of having an affair or tell him your conscience bla bla. u havent met real men who are prostitutes. they will always find an excuse tell lies about their wife and shit.

simply tell him you are not interested. you have your own boo and you are happy with your relationship. you can also tell him to sort out issues with his wife or look for his own happiness elsewhere it is not your own business. if you bring up u are not that kind of girl he will tell you stories. if u bring up his wife. he will tell you stories. even with what i have advised you he will still tell you stories. he might ask what does ur boo do for u and stuff. that he can take care of you and all but since your words are about urself u can tell him u dont need to share details with him. the key thing is to make it about u and not give him s chance for him to tell u any stories.

justaijay said...

Just do it... I am a corp member too, I had to do same. the truth is, now I am loving the whole thing

Anonymous said...

My dear...That fool wanna spoil your sumo for you ooo, be careful before your sumo go stop pumping water... Tell am to free you, if he continue report am to Nysc straight... Na stupid Old fool him be...




twenty4yu@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

My dear...That fool wanna spoil your sumo for you ooo, be careful before your sumo go stop pumping water... Tell am to free you, if he continue report am to Nysc straight... Na stupid Old fool him be... Make him go fuck his daughter




twenty4yu@yahoo.com

passions said...

As in why bring ur wahala to us when u already know the anwer to her problem ,pls go and pack joor

Unknown said...

Dear just be cool with your boss. note the following points: #his is ur boss
#he can do and undo
#he has say over his work and as God has over him
#he has d final decision over his work. so pls be careful with your response to him. don't hurt him, don't be rude to him, just be urself as ur days are number with him or in his organisation. keep posting him, keep giving him excess in a very good manner till u re done. i know he will keep loving you, you don't worry about his love. they are just like that."thats boos for you(man)" your personal approach is very important here dear.takcare

Unknown said...

Just be smart and don't try to be smart!!!! #think#

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