Nigerian transgender man talks about the joy & danger of living his truth | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Friday, 30 January 2015

Nigerian transgender man talks about the joy & danger of living his truth

He used to be a woman. Born in Lagos Nigeria. Now living in the US as Rizi Xavier Timane, a man. In an interview with Ebony, he reflects on his journey to living his truth, and the burden that comes with doing it in a country (US) that doesn't value 'Black men'.
I was born in Lagos, Nigeria, and I was assigned the female gender at birth. Both of these facts amounted to one thing: I had no power, no respect, and no privilege, nor would I have much of any of these throughout my life. Add in that I came from a less than wealthy family and was, for all intents and purposes, a lesbian, and I became a truly invisible human being; when I wasn’t being ridiculed or abused, I basically did not exist.
I say "for all intents and purposes" because for as long as I can remember, I never thought of myself as a girl. Though I didn’t know what to call it as a young child—I had no idea there even was a name for what I felt until I was eight years old, when two friends saw a transgender person on an American talk show and told me about it—I knew I was different. I felt how the boys I knew looked: masculine and tough, not feminine and delicate like my girl friends. I preferred pants to dresses, speaking my mind over being quiet and demure, and roughhousing in the dirt was infinitely more compelling playing dress-up with my mother’s clothes.

Still, this gave me no status in the male-driven, patriarchal Nigerian society. And I grew up thinking this was my station in life: to be misunderstood and miserable, trapped in a body I did not feel was my own and stuck in a country that was homophobic, transphobic, sexist, and hyper-religious. When I told my family about how I felt, they told me to keep quiet. My mother and her church friends repeatedly performed exorcisms on me, trying to rid me of the demons that had made me what I was.

Every day between the ages of eight and twelve, I got down on my knees and prayed that God would change me into the boy I knew I was inside. When that didn’t work, I tried running away from how I felt, turning later in life to drugs and alcohol and battling severe depression along with my gender dysphoria. I resigned myself to identifying as a Black lesbian for the rest of my life and to all the cultural bias and discrimination that comes with it, particularly in my country of origin, where being gay or lesbian can lead to imprisonment.

Eventually, through a long and difficult process of self-realization, I came to see that I did have some choice in the matter of how I presented my gender identity to the world. That I wasn’t tied to that female body and its attendant dearth of cultural value. Today, after twenty surgical procedures plus ongoing hormonal treatments, I can proudly say that I am completely male inside and out. No longer am I the scared child living in an oppressive nation or the adult going through the motions in a life that was not my own. I am now a heterosexual man living in the United States and enjoying all the societal respect and privilege I’d missed out on for so long, when I was not able to express my authentic self.

As a man, I enjoy a higher status than I did when I lived as a woman—people listen to me when I speak and automatically value my opinions; I no longer feel meek and subservient, as I believed I was supposed to be. Of course, there are other challenges now that I am living in my truth. As a Black man, however, I constantly feel like I have a target on my back--like I am the focal point of America’s most vehement hatred right now. I know that I could lose this life I’ve worked so hard to build in an instant—another Michael Brown, another John Crawford, another Eric Garner. Black teen boys are twenty-one times more likely than their White peers to be killed by police and the stats aren't much better when you turn 21. One in three of us can expect to go to prison in our lifetime. Whenever I leave my house now, my wife reminds me to keep both hands on the steering wheel if a cop pulls me over, so he doesn’t think I’m reaching for a gun. While I don't dismiss the tragic cases of police violence against Black women, it's not lost on me that she didn't say this when I presented as a woman.

Overall I feel that much of my struggle as a transgender individual is behind me. But as a Black man, my journey has just begun. This is not exactly the life I signed up for. Not that I thought living as a man would be one nonstop party, but I guess we don’t realize how serious a situation can be until we live through it. Still, I'm grateful; despite the trials of being a Black male in America, I am finally comfortable in my skin, and that alone brings me a sense of personal power.

165 comments:

Anonymous said...

So we still have people like dis sha.... it id well wit u o





















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keji said...

O ga o

APPLE said...

Confused man.

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

It's ur lime,u can squeeze it anyhow u choose to.#OnlyGodCanJudge...shhhhh

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

It's ur lime,u can squeeze it anyhow u choose to.#OnlyGodCanJudge...shhhhh

Unknown said...

Buhari is a sick old bloody illitrate

Unknown said...

Wow..dat must have taken a lot of courage

Bishop Dammy said...

The simple truth I'm going to tell her sir.. you still have the chance to ask God for forgiveness as it's not to late... you are so in a deep mess as we speak, right your wrong ma and it shall be well with you. Rom 6:23. Eph 5:3, Rom 12:1-2. @Bishop_Dammy

BONARIO NNAGS said...

" As a man, I enjoy a higher status than I did when I lived as a woman—people listen to me when I speak and automatically value my opinions" If this is his excuse for opting to change his gender,I find it insignificant and baseless.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Unknown said...

Don't judge him if you don't know him......don't condemn him if you don't know his story.....leave the judge for God.....for we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.....dude if this is the life you love then let God judge you according to your deeds......


•••••QUEENMAYA•••••

Anonymous said...

oh wow. I hope he is happy.

Liflblog.WordPress.com

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE EVERY DAY

Anonymous said...











A married couple work in different cities, he works in Abuja, she in Lagos, he goes home every weekend. Both have Facebook accounts. The wife has vowed never to date anybody on Facebook, more so that she is happily married. She even gave her hubby the impression that she does not go there frequently like others do.

One day while bored at work he playfully creates a Facebook account with a fake pix, he sends his wife a request & she adds him.
They chat regularly over 1 month, she finds him very exciting & is always looking forward to chatting with him, she began to hate weekends cos he was never available to chat. They chatted about everything and recently their chats became very sexually explicit...

Continue>>>






DATSHAPIBOBOY said...

Go and die in Ohio male's voice.
Comment signed, sealed and delivered by DatShapIboBoy

Unknown said...

Good for him. Live your life your own way , don't mind what people say about you.
$.
$.
@Carlos via Nokia Lumia

Bunny said...

Your case dey God hand.

Unknown said...

Odi egwu....


#GodblessNigeria

Unknown said...

Na wa o.. People go through soo many things...

Mr_SouL Get Naija Twitter/IG followers/7AB109CB said...

But upon all these changes u do, u still dey see period abii? -@tweetest_boi

Unknown said...

He has to live with d stigma all tru his life

eka said...

Hmm, my sensitive mind can`t under people that are associated with these words: "transgender, homoseuxal and bisexual. God help us all..........

Unknown said...

Not judging but this transgender thingy is every where nw.

oiza said...

hmm... what can i say its your decision

Linda Ikeji said...

Some have problem but others has bigger problems. There is nothing as beautiful as being a man or woman. Anything in between is a huge problem

Unknown said...

All the best in your new gender.

Anonymous said...

Wonder shall never end

Unknown said...

Ogbeni u no well at all

Unknown said...

Poor "her"...
I feel for her so much bcos d path thereof dis lead to is eternal destrution...

As d bible state..."There is a way dat seem right unto a man but such way r way dat lead to destruction".

I pray for her repentance.

Wölfe Media said...

Cool story. Simply move on.

Unknown said...

Poor "her"...
I feel for her so much bcos d path thereof dis lead to is eternal destrution...

As d bible state..."There is a way dat seem right unto a man but such way r way dat lead to destruction".

I pray for her repentance.

Anonymous said...

who is this again?

Unknown said...

Poor "her"...
I feel for her so much bcos d path thereof dis lead to is eternal destrution...

As d bible state..."There is a way dat seem right unto a man but such way r way dat lead to destruction".

I pray for her repentance.

CHERRY said...

Gud for him!

Sparkle said...

You are disturbed!

Unknown said...

Another day another rat crawling out of the sewer.

Unknown said...

My God!!!! Wat is dis life turning into....na wa oooo, end time things....who m I 2 judge?

Unknown said...

Odiegwu! Jisike

Anonymous said...

He said he is now a man inside and out,does that means he has eggplant

Unknown said...

Enjoy ur new body, hope it lasts.

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Am tired of commenting on transgender issues.... They shud keep their xplanatns to demselves

Unknown said...

Linda...I've been an ardent reader 4 d past 3yrs, been so busy wif sch, I dint av tym commentn on ur blog, I knw most pple here, aldo dere are so many new pple who comment dese days..
For pple who are sayn sum1 is nt entilted 2 win d giveaway price, u never knw if d person has been an ardent reader 4 so long n nau finds tym commentn, its nt only abt commentn, m vry sure, d pple who go tru dis blog morning, day n 9t are more dan d pple commentn, so watch it!
Linda, keep d good work going, ure ma pride #kisses#

Unknown said...

My God!!!! Wat is dis life turning into....na wa oooo, end time things....who m I 2 judge?

Unknown said...

Pray God shows you mercy

Unknown said...

Awwwww!!! The most important thing is he is happy now!! I know he will refuse less bashing bcos she transed into a man,but if a man transed into a woman, LIB homophobes will eat her raw

Onyx's Girlfriend (he isn't gay pls) said...

Good 4 him, atleast he is happy now, his business not mine. #happyfriday

Unknown said...

lol

why i left my 30yrs marriage up on the blog.
www.udokajane.blogspot.com

Wölfe Media said...

Your father is a sick old bloody illiterate. How do you feel now?
Idiot.

Monkey Face said...

Lobatan! Watin Man no go see for this world?

Anonymous said...

Linda for every of this sexual aberrations U clandestinely adertise , ur blog business is steps away from coming down, IJN. Government authorities have been notified, and u're currently being watched. U'll soon be netted, keep on..

Anonymous said...

What story do you need to hear before you give an opinion..this one he has said is music abi?

ary said...

Too cliche

Beautiful wifey said...

God is patient. U still av a chance to seek for forgiveness and flog that demon out of ur body

Lady C said...

Do u still menstruate mr transgender

Juleslouis said...

I don't understand the ideology of a woman bn trapped in a man's body and vice versa. I don't understand the ideology of a woman falling in love with a feelow woman and vice versa. When i read stories like thi, i try to figure it out but i can't. Does it mean God made a mistake cuz i know he doesn't. People die everyday irrespective of their race, color and religion. In as much as the white cops r racists people still die. #fact

Karljhonsen said...

Living his truth? I will just say "Living a confused life"

Aamarachiogueji said...

Aru!....#nwamas

Unknown said...

Na wa oo

Unknown said...

Dis man is rily confused !

seunLondon said...

I have always valued your points as per comments until now...this singular comment shows how shallow and unenlightened you are...and hey! Am unapologetic #SeunLondon

Karljhonsen said...

Living his truth,huh? I will just say "Living a confused life".

Anonymous said...

Speechless.i can't believe a Nigerian wil do a tin like dis. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#

Anonymous said...

na wa oo.. so even nigerians are joining in.. this world is getting madder.... this is really the few last days remaining..... BEWARE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm" life can be unfair to some" and fair to some" but d'point is its ur life, and if it maays u hapi" den it all cool". Njoy!!!

Unknown said...

The story long o

Karljhonsen said...

Living his truth,huh? I will just say "Living a confused life".

MADE IN NIGERIA said...

Wow.... I see some lady, oh sorry guy dat is really confused, God help us.

Unknown said...

Wht part of dis world do u exist pls?
Ur question sound so backward and annoying...

Pls comment on sth meaningful rather than b baseless and senseless.

Unknown said...

No oooo...

"Confused woman not man".
Her true identity is SHE.

Pls let pray for d true turning around of souls lik dis dat has b held captive by demons operating in their life.

Where r true christians we hav here???

Unknown said...

Still lukin like a woman facially

Unknown said...

I no fit laugh for him matter cos e stupid

Anonymous said...

Pls does the sex change process make them develop a dick or vajayjay? just wondering how he gets it on with his wife?

Unknown said...

Pls respect ur age for dis is not d topic here.

Read post b4 u comment.

Unknown said...

If there is true courage let her come to Nigeria and say dis...

She wil cool off in d prison.

Unknown said...

Hmmmm I don't know what dis world are turning in2. End time is here

Unknown said...

If there is true courage let her come to Nigeria and say dis...

She wil cool off in d prison.

Unknown said...

Stories! Stories!! Stories!!!
As long as d story is in d public domain there bound to b level of truth b told which wil b regarded as judging.

Unknown said...

Stories! Stories!! Stories!!!
As long as d story is in d public domain there bound to b level of truth b told which wil b regarded as judging.

Unknown said...

End time coming...

Unknown said...

Point of correction, there is nothing as b who God created u to b.

Anytin other than dat is equal to HELL.

Unknown said...

Point of correction, there is nothing as b who God created u to b.

Anytin other than dat is equal to HELL.

Unknown said...

His decisions tho...
#i am proof that God answers prayers! God is the ultimate! Accept Him today!#

Anonymous said...

Wats Buhari got to do wit dis. Its obvious dat u r very sick in d head and needs urgent deliverance

Anonymous said...

Ok

Unknown said...

Oooo twenty sum tin surgeries,go tank or God say u no die on top DAT rubbish.
NO TANK YOU,I D RATHER B SELFMADE

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness!!!! SARAH BAMAIYI...DAUGHTER OF THE GREEDY FOR ME CHIEF OF ARMY STAFF WHO WANTED COL MUSTAPHA to put him as the head of state when ABACHA DIED...LORD HAVE MERCY

knowurway.com said...

@ christie benjamin, exactly, I like ur comment. Let God true true judge him

ammy said...

Wt is ut complain?. U r now a man. Fight ur battle.

Anonymous said...

The bible answers it all Indeed! There is way that seems right to a man indeed but only leads to death!!!

ebonyz... said...

I agree with sparkle, he/she is disturbed

Forvirgins said...

check out this blog http://www.forvirgins.blogspot.com. for where we go during sex

Unknown said...

Na waaaa oooo!!

Anonymous said...

Ode... Wat gvd u d right to play d role of God to judge?

Jesus Reigns said...

Well......

Unknown said...

God is watching

cynthia said...

I'm totally happy for your transformation. But to insinuate women are totally subservient in Nigeria is wrong. Also keep speaking out against the crime in America meted out by the inhuman bad cops on black males and female in America.#blacklivesmatters

Abekey victoria said...

The world is gradually coming to an end,give your life to christ people before its too late

kiki said...

Worefa!

Unknown said...

I hope Buhari can become a transgender like this

Unknown said...

Pls i want to knw something o. After the. Successful transition, what happens to the sex organ? Does it change too?


@Sophia Stephen

Tanacious said...

Went under d knives 20times just to be a man Men really get power It is well

Unknown said...

God knows it all. Confused world.

Shalom in Nigeria, Amen.

Unknown said...

I wish I care about your matter nah I never





#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

Kulikuli said...

There are many women who speak and people listen in Nigeria today. If societal respect was your major wish, you WORK HARD for it. So Mr/Mrs Man/Woman that could not have been the problem. Even now, I think you need to work through this whole thing with a shrink. We all get confused from time to time about personal issues, but this is just too much.

Unknown said...

Nonsense

Anonymous said...

The interview looks so fake.....I mean which Nigeria mom of d 70s play dressup with their kids....yeye dey smell....ha..ur frnds knws wat it is @ 8.....*Mr man packwell...u grew up in NG...which Part?..

Anonymous said...

That is a story for the God's. I don waka!!!!!

GALORE said...

Hmmm
Who am I to judge anyone

God give u peace

"Heaven on earth!!!



@Galore

Unknown said...

Wonder shall end.

Unknown said...

Your life...live as you wish

Anonymous said...

Twenty surgical procedures! Just for you to feel on top of the world, that's crazy men!

Mercy seat said...

Na wah shaa... You would bn an ugly girl . Thank God for u

CELEB said...

I know many girls that were comfirm tomboys that grew up into beautitul that are happy with their husband and kids today, you ma'am, dont know ur problem.

HAWT TALH WITH TOSAN said...

So he is a sexist transgender? That is the biggest irony i have seen in recent times. Shameless bigot

Unknown said...

I wouldn't say good 4him,neither will I say best of luck.
I just have dis question to ask, don't this transgender thing has a side effect?because if the original design has been distorted then there is bound to be a mess somewhere.

@ur intro..I was born in Lagos, Nigeria, and I was assigned the female gender at birth.
Honestly don't know what to say,than to say go make peace with ur maker.

Optimalgoal@gmail.com

ibrahim ali said...

Being both genders are really difficult...if you had accepted who and what gender you were,you would have adapted to it...but all dah best man...its your life..you either make it or break it.....happy living...hope you live well the way we guys do...

Unknown said...

Its just a pity u v gone all this far without anyone taking proper diagnose of your problem from childhood. I put it to you that u suffering from an extreme condition of low self-worth. Dear Mr. woman, u started off been displeased abt. ur God-given gender cos u feel low been a female, now u v succeeded changing that confronted with the feeling of black is a disadvantage, so u must be thinking of 'Michael Jackson's approach' to deal with that. After that, l assure u there is another coming up. Pls wake up from ur mental depravity and seek for forgiveness and deliverance from your Maker the Living God today.

ukbliss said...

God wasn't wrong wen he created everyone of us

Nicole said...

And you are a healthy , young , bloody nonentity! What does your comment have to do with this post ? Mtcheew!

Nicole said...

God bless you dear! People are so quick to judge. Jesus said 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone'. Whether you are a liar a thief or prostitute, sin is sin! And you are no better than Rizi.
Make your peace with God Mr Rizi. I wish you the best .

Unknown said...

Adaobi, all mallam for him kettle.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmm

Unknown said...

Aru na eme
My grandmother of blesses memory always say then 'Ébe osoro aji ha kpuo ara, nkem' di no obi"

Meaning:-
"Any where it please young ladies let the grow breast, mine is in the chest"

Amy N. said...

I wonder if she had full gender reconstructive surgery

Unknown said...

Ma/sir I must say that you are a sinner, a big one at that. You sure needs jesus in your life. By being a transgender that means you weren't grateful the way your creator, our heavenly father made you and you have questioned what he has made. I think I should asked you this. Who do you think you are?? To question your being?? I leave you to ur conscience to answer that.

Unknown said...

Confused man,keep abusing God

Unknown said...

More of them will keep claiming to be transgender because a country like the u.s.a is encouraging & accepting them nonsense mteww!!!

Anonymous said...

Dude's been through a lot, I'm very touched by his story. His comments on acquiring an immediate social status when he became a man are very interesting. Yet he contradicts them by talking about the devaluation of the black man in America. Reading the story, he seems to have crossed over to escape being a lowly woman as much as he did to be his authentic self. Now that he's on the other side, what's he doing to level the playing field from his unique understanding of inequity between the sexes?

White lion said...

Are you sure you are sane?

lynda slick said...

See you we have many like that it's just in secret. If govt decide to change the law and give them a chance you will be shocked at how many people are gays and transgender in Nigeria.

Anonymous said...

You are such a weak soul if you think being a man make you strong then you have no value for your self. God help you

LOoola said...

Crap!

Unknown said...

Sickness will be mild on you. You're just mad in the head

Anonymous said...

What of your father?dirty stinking idiot

Jossy said...

Are you so blind, so confused, so daft to see that this story has nothing to do with Buhari? I wonder how much PDP paid you fool

Anonymous said...

He has no result

luchies said...

God have mercy on you

Unknown said...

Afo diongho

Anonymous said...

Thanks o my dear God bless I wonder who dis so call bishop dammy abi wetin be I always judge as if God himself told him the guy did a wrong thing and dem call demself pastor no dey use bible kajol anyone here cos same bible says thou shall not judge and this is what you're always doing believe me you cant be God no matter how much you try so u need seek forgiveness urself
abi na Linda ikeji give away dey conduse your brain sir?

Anonymous said...

Thanks o my dear God bless I wonder who dis so call bishop dammy abi wetin be I always judge as if God himself told him the guy did a wrong thing and dem call demself pastor no dey use bible kajol anyone here cos same bible says thou shall not judge and this is what you're always doing believe me you cant be God no matter how much you try so u need seek forgiveness urself
abi na Linda ikeji give away dey confuse your brain sir?

Anonymous said...

So is his wife a lesbian or heterosexual? Read my blog and see pics of PDP rally/ Carnival in Akwa Ibom. www.iyebamaclaytonblog.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

Gbam! U nailed it

Unknown said...

Y r u being so bitchy???

U knw wat it means to call a man a bitch?

Unknown said...

Ur mum was right dr is a demon inside of u,to have thought God made a mistake creating u a woman.The worst part is even if u like undergo all d surgery in ds world,u ar still a woman

Ifeanyi gobo said...

God be with you. you are loved.

Unknown said...

He's confused...

barrister said...

If you are not satisfied with how God created you then you can never ever satisfy yourself. You see yourlife,you think you are a woman now yet still struggling with being black.then u ll always look down on women coz thats your belief. wow..you are just confused.

Unknown said...

U are a fool don't worry we no u, and u will pay dealy for that comment sai Buhari.

Unknown said...

God has a purpose for creating everybody the way they are.

Order for your beautiful bedspread @ 79AEFD3B. Delivery available nationwide.

Anonymous said...

He was ASSIGNED the female gender?! Genders are now assigned at birth?! He had no power, respect, or privilege? What rubbish is this guy saying?!!!!

Godwin Oseezy said...

That's cool. Inasmuch as you are happy with your decision, nothing else matters.

Unknown said...

His married?can you pregnant a woman sir/madam?well ur choice sha,cos I can't regrate being a woman.

Anonymous said...

The real issue here is how this idiot obviously thinks so low of women. This stupid interview was mostly about putting women and Nigeria down. What an offensive fellow. This guy is a chauvinist. Nobody cares what sex you are Mr Tranny. Its probably the way you think/thought that gave rise to your self hate. It still shines through and you need to deal with that. Nonsense.

Unknown said...

Ali Muhammed short up pls, u can't do shit abeg. U know him so? People can't comment or express themselves again because u are useless extremist?

Unknown said...

Everything is changed Sophia he has a dick now

Unknown said...

Today, after twenty surgical procedures plus ongoing hormonal treatments, I can proudly say that I am completely male inside and out. Hope this guy knows what the Holy book say about the perfection of God's work

Babe said...

Wonders shall neva end,God is d only judge

Unknown said...

You could have lost your life damn it....not an excuse...

heytheredelilah said...

Love you for this comment. Just basically insulted the female gender... like it was not a female that bore him

airforce military girl said...

Yes o this girl grew up in nigeria, went to airforce military schl Jos with Chugirl the comedian. Left for uni and Masters in UK after high schl, it's the sins of her father that has kept her bound by legions of demons, the father slept with alot of his neice, and he is hated by his brothers for that. Evil disgusting man.nigerian men remember that the sins of the father live after the children and fear God when u go about sleeping with people's daughters.

Unknown said...

Really baseless and unreasonable

Unknown said...

There is no excuse my friend! For turning yourself into something else. Does it mean that God made a mistake in creating or bringing you forth as a woman? I will call it recreation cox that's what he did.

Anonymous said...

I can identify with this person. For years, I wondered why I preferred to be a man, rather than the woman I am. But like I told my husband, the day we talked about it, I realized that God does not make mistakes. If He made me a woman, it's because that was what He wanted. I have learned to love who I am and I have two beautiful kids now that call me 'mum'. It is a feeling that one can overcome. It isn't easy o...I still struggle from time to time. But I've learned it to a point and I'm happy.

Anonymous said...

Mr mrs woman man, I wonder What u will tel God on d last day? U r sick. Rubbish

Subomi said...

feel sorry for him

Anonymous said...

My brother am so happy for you and you see what I want to tell you, me as a person I don't like people who pretend. You see all those people who said god will punish you or you sin agains god please ask them has god ever judge any one of them before? Look at you now you have move on with your life,you even live better than most those suppid cows, you see those bastards we will meet on the judgement day, i mean at the gate of heaven. Seriously I can't just stand people who judge people because they chose to live the life that there love to live. Life is short why can you do what make you happy and also everybody desave to be happy.
so what the fuck you all use the name god to judge a man who he,s USA enjoying and living the kind of life he want to live, he left nigeria because of all the name of politics, corruption,they steal everybody right away from them. People have to do what make them happy.know one have a right to decide how anyone will live there live.

Anonymous said...

So what is next? I hope u know u r a very long way from home,u have brought shame to your parents and zuru kingdom.

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