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Sunday, 16 August 2015

True story: An interesting personal encounter with a mad woman

Article written by a LIB reader who had a personal encounter with a mad woman. Read below.
This happened a few years ago and I thought I should share. Before this I had often wondered who impregnates mad women. Who are the men doing so? Who in their right mind sleeps with them? This encounter answered my question. Please read on.
After four days at the hospital where I had an Appendicitis operation, the doctors cleared me to go home. My mum wanted to go to the bus stop and get a taxi but I declined. After four days coupled up in the hospital bed I needed some fresh air and a bit of  exercise.

We got to the bus stop and joined the rest of the passengers waiting for vehicles. A mad woman appeared. I have seen her a couple of times at the bus stop with other mad folks begging for money. She was tall and lean with a black torn short covering her womanhood and a yellow faded ankara thrown over her shoulder leaving her stomach and thighs bare. She moved from one passenger to the next begging for money. Finally, she stood before us,gave us a bewitching smile.

"Fine Mama and fine aunty, help me with some change" she said in Igbo.

I drew back to ward off the smell emanating from her unwashed body. My mother quickly opened her bag while holding her breath and brought out a 100 Naira note which she dropped on the mad woman's outstretched palm. She beamed her thanks and was about to go when a dread locked mad man on brown underwear walked up to her. She giggled like a school girl when she saw him. I glanced at my mother. She was watching them too. They struck a conversation in Igbo.

Mad man: Nne, kekwanu? How re u?
Mad woman: (giggles) I am fine. (Another giggle)
Mad man: Did I offend u?
Mad woman: Ah! Noooo!
Mad man: if I didn't offend you then why didn't you visit me like u said?
Mad woman: Okkkkkkk! (She scratched her hair then her buttocks)
Mad man: Is it that I didn't do it well the other time? Was it painful?
By then, my jaw dropped. Mama's jaw dropped even further.
Mad woman: (giggles) no, you did it well
Mad man: Then why didn't u come? Is not good oo
Mad woman: I will come today. Yes, today. I ll come. Today
The mad man grinned at her: Ok.

He turned and swaggered off, his member nodding between his legs. The mad woman ran towards a yellow bus discharging some passengers and began another round of begging.

My mother whispered. "Nne, please tell me that what I just saw and heard is all a dream"
I cleared my throat, plied open my numb lips and replied,
"No, Mama, it isn't a dream but I wish it is"
We still joke and laugh about it today

101 comments:

Davido's driver said...

Ritualists of course

Anonymous said...

No comment.
E karo!

Davido's driver said...

What a write up. Too good to be true

Unknown said...

Oh!

Unknown said...

Nawaaoo!, that man ain't mad anything...he's a ritualist. Tufia

aproko manager said...

HhAahh

Unknown said...

HahahahahahAahahhaha whoahh so mad ppl knw wassup ........hmmmmm I always wonder too d pregnant issue with madwomen sef



....Love@libers

Unknown said...

Lol...I don't think d both are mad or maybe it's the woman dat is mad only.....nawa o!

Blog It With Olivia said...

So???? What's d moral of †ђξ story???
Ok u finally found out that its actually mad folks too that do impregnate †ђξ mad women????
I no even understand where d writer is going with this story....
Was expecting to read..."Αи∂ one rich man came down from his car αи∂......"""

Ok heard






#ITwillONLYgetBETTER
#itMUSTendINpraise

Blog It With Olivia said...

So???? What's d moral of †ђξ story???
Ok u finally found out that its actually mad folks too that do impregnate †ђξ mad women????
I no even understand where d writer is going with this story....
Was expecting to read..."Αи∂ one rich man came down from his car αи∂......"""

Ok heard






#ITwillONLYgetBETTER
#itMUSTendINpraise

AC£S said...

Konji respects no one....lol

Cute G said...

The said mad man might not be mad. He could be a ritualist pretending to be mad. Even some men do it as a routinely duty to boost their wealth and the only way to get the mad women is to dress as mad men.

Unknown said...

Curing... what do u expect. Body no be fire wood mean.. insane or sane

Unknown said...

Gosh!!

obietrezy said...

There's no sense in this post..... Jor oh

GodfreyDonp said...

Wow!! Speechless.... dunno d word 2 use

Unknown said...

lmao cheiiii
there is nothing like 100% madness

Unknown said...

Lol! Even in their state of mental impairment, they still have warm blood flowing thru.

Unknown said...

Hmmmm
That is to say,mad men and women can do?
Lol

Unknown said...

Hmmmm
That is to say,mad men and women can do?
Lol

Unknown said...

Ok

Apple Berry said...

Nawa o. Things are happening o

Unknown said...

Lies

Anonymous said...

Wow...you write well..Chimamanda would be proud

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Like minds interact na

Unknown said...

Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Oh precious Father in Heaven! Help and save us. Even mad men and women browse! Lolzzz.

D state of madness is caused by invocation of wicked and evil spirits dat tak over d life of a non believer in Christ. Dis invocation is usually carried out by fellow wicked human beings.

Dis is d more reason one has to b spiritually connected 2d living Lord and live a holy life b4 d Lord to avoid attacks frm d evil ones dat live around us.

A word is enough 4d wise and those who hav ears let them hear!

Unknown said...

Lolllllll

Unknown said...

Touts pregnate dem too and some stupid men too nt only their colleagues. Lol

Unknown said...

'Z' is a Dude that will greet a madman/woman on the road cos deep within me is a feeling that keeps screaming that those Beings are Conscious as Fuck.
Have u ever asked yourselves why they have to look left n right b4 crossing the road? Or why they don't troll their way to Military Barracks?
Those folks are jst living their lives n prolly laughin at us (the so called sane peeps)

Anonymous said...

Nne leave story, ur style of writing is what authors are made of....u should really consider it

Pepboy said...

LOL.....REALLY FUNNY.....

Unknown said...

you wont be suprised that the mad man knows how to pull out

Unknown said...

hahaha as funny n true as it sounds,ritualistic pple still sleep with mad women/men

NaturalWellnessSolutionHub said...

Very funny.

Anonymous said...

A well known behaviour presentation of some or if not majority of mental ill individuals is sexual inhibition. They may not have all their sense but the don't really lose their human instincts. Sex is apart of innate human instincts.

Anonymous said...

POSTER DONT BE DECIVED THEY ARE JUNKIES DRUG ADDICTS THEM FULL LAGOS ISLAND U GO SEE DEM DEY TALK WITH U FINE FINE IF U NO TAKE CARE DEM GO JUG YA BAG RUN.. THEY ARE BEGGING FOR MONEY TO TAKE CRACK.. U HEAR!!!! AND FOR MAD WOMEN WITH PREGNANCY I KNOW OF ONE IS MY AREA THE MAN WEY PREGNANT HER MADE SURE SHE WAS MOVED TO A BETTER PLACE TO DELIVER HER CHILD HE COMES THERE TO GIVE HER FOOD YET NOBODY ASK AM ANYTHING THE INCIDENT STILL WONDERS ME TILL DATE ONLY GOD KNOW HOW THE MAN CARRY THE WOMAN ENTER MOTOR FOR PEOPLE EYE KOROKORO AND NOBODY ASK AM ANYTHING LIKE SAY NA JAZZ...

Unknown said...

Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Oh precious Father in Heaven! Help and save us. Even mad men and women browse! Lolzzz.

D state of madness is caused by invocation of wicked and evil spirits dat tak over d life of a non believer in Christ. Dis invocation is usually carried out by fellow wicked human beings.

Dis is d more reason one has to b spiritually connected 2d living Lord and live a holy life b4 d Lord to avoid attacks frm d evil ones dat live around us.

A word is enough 4d wise and those who hav ears let them hear!

Anonymous said...

@lwkmd_naija aka Davido driver, u were on break or u got tired of using two ID on LIB? Quit using dis two ID on LIB for we all know dat u use two ID on LIB. Don't worry we understand.

Unknown said...

Nice use of grammar. well composed. But those 2 are seriously in another world.

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Lmfaooooo.... Oghene bikooooo....,this na typical coperate mad people. Make them dey enjoy thing o.lol

Jasmine Joseph said...

Na wa oooo even in madness that thing still dey worry them

Anonymous said...

They r not mad but anyhow them ma dey get conji. Conji is allowed

TAMARA SPLASH said...

They ain't mad

Ayodele Jay said...

Nollywood myt turn dz to a movie nw! d tite wuld be KOLO :The sex exscapade of two mad lovers!



#Blessed child

Anonymous said...

Boring linda

Anonymous said...

Insanity is in the head but blood still runs in the vain. Their head may not be correct but the prick is in order.

Unknown said...

*Izzue


OKORO UPGRADED**

shescute said...

LAMO! Kai unbelievable! So this mad men too know how to do the do?

hrm paul ojeih said...

Pure fiction and fabrication and fallacy.mad men don't do mad women it is sane men dat lay ambush at dem and impregnate dem for powers. Mad man get time for sex

Anonymous said...

Reading and comprehending is not a sin dear child!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Shatap ur really silly mouth!!
Lemme break it down!! Its a comon notion that politicians n ritualists carry out this act for evil purposes, not once did it cross her mind that a fellow mad man could b a culprit.
Humble urself n learn...wen ur confused

Cynhams Cakes & Pastries, Abuja said...

Abeg free them jare. Mad or not, they are still humans. Blood still dey flow for their veins.




Please click on my name to order for your cakes.

Unknown said...

Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Oh precious Father in Heaven! Help and save us. Even mad men and women browse! Lolzzz.

D state of madness is caused by invocation of wicked and evil spirits dat tak over d life of a non believer in Christ. Dis invocation is usually carried out by fellow wicked human beings.

Dis is d more reason one has to b spiritually connected 2d living Lord and live a holy life b4 d Lord to avoid attacks frm d evil ones dat live around us.

A word is enough 4d wise and those who hav ears let them hear!

Asampokoto said...

What the hell are you talking about?

Anonymous said...

Very interesting, well done Linda!
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Visit www.topnaija.ng
Thank me later 

Unknown said...

Even Mad people are human and have blood flowing through their veins. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Even Mad people are human and have blood flowing through their veins. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

Lolz,wow,they are humans after all so?

cyberboffin said...

Nice use of grammar.lolz dis is kinda crayz

Anonymous said...

Exactly!

Anonymous said...

Lie lie is a lie biko,better cm up with something better,what u saw was not a mad woman but people with a litle mental disorder, mad people don't talk sense atall,if they can talk sense lk that y then are they on d street? U only saw sick people not mad people,when u are mad u are not in your senses and u are not in control of your actions either, mad people don't discuss sex weather is sweet or painfully they only cm to each other without notice and sometime rape each other without saying any meaningfull ting,so my dear if really your write up was true what u saw were simple sick beggers on d street not mad people, and pls mad people don't beg they only eat from trash, is sick people that beg and they r d ones who talk sense.

Guineacar said...

Konji dey catch madman.

Unknown said...

D story doesn't sound true to me

Anonymous said...

Destitution doesn't mean madness.

Unknown said...

Hmmmm.......? Maybe hunger took part of their sanity, that was why they could know what s*x is all about. Or they could also have been cursed to leave like madman n madwoman .

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is some deep shit mehn... Anyway I used to work with children that had Down syndrome in the UK and whenever our person in charge would leave(because I'm smallish now, them think say I be small pikin hehehehee) sha they would start doing it and I always felt so disgusted and helpless honestly because I can't shout at them and the lady might not believe me if I tell her... Sigh. Between Linda basket mouth was epic in Toronto last night and he yapped all of us that always comment on blogs oh :)... Happy Sunday folks

GeniusLight said...

Nawa o.. Many mysteries in this world..

AMARACHI (LindaIkeji's Daughter) said...

Why were they soo shocked... Those people seem pretty normal to me tho

fohow said...

You are right anonymous, destitution really does not mean madness.

Entertainment Gist said...

Na wa ooo. Even Mad people are human and have blood flowing through their veins latest online information

I B M bolubantin said...

One thing I know for sure is, the woman didn't impregnate herself...so someone did it and I'm sure he isn't transgender...

limac said...

It's unfortunate that we still make fun of and write bs about people with different levels of psychotic disorders inn Nigeria. You of all people Linda should know better and understand rather than make this write up an entertaining piece should be calling on NGOs and government bodies to do something about the deplorable state these folks are in. I strongly believe every Nigerian has a menta problem just like you have shown and I had high regards for you considering that I've known u and your antecedents being a well read girl who always had a novel in hand back in the days. Please use your intelligence to educate people rather than mock these individuals. Help the society to understand them not use them as an entertainment piece, your write up isn't in same zip code as funny at all.

Mihearty said...

I don't believe this cooked up story. U just forged, garnish and spiced it to be sweet

Anonymous said...

Na wah for all these replies. Does everything have to boil down juju/ritual/ritualist debate? They could both be suffering from some type of mental disorders.

TONIA GREEN said...

Lol. I like this write up. Write your own let's read if you think it doesn't make sense.

❤❤❤ THE PROPHETESS ❤ ❤ ❤

Anonymous said...

There is nothing we'll not hear.

Anonymous said...

I reserve my comment
~D great anonymous!

Unknown said...

Sounds like fiction to me though, because their conversation is too real, polished and on point like normal individuals. Anyway, nothing is impossible sha..













#TeamBlessed#

jasmeen said...

Definitely not mad..maybe junkies

seu said...

Anyone who holds that kind of intelligent conversation can not be said to be mad.

All I know is that Lagos shattered the expectations of some people and they decided to live at the level of Nature, being far away from their roots.

Nigeria is so wicked that it allows anything to happen. Assuming the people are indeed mad, is it right to leave them roaming the streets like goats and multiplying destitutes?!

A society's state of mind is determined by the level of care it gives to the weak and poor members of the society.

ary said...

LOL mental people need love too!

Onomiroro Dono Okeh said...

Hmmm!
In a world where dreams can be easily thwarted, life can become meaningless, few gets to be favoured, man has come to device means to get around everything. And around the table keeps turning until the aim of existence is loss on everyone.

Kindly click

We got Engaged! Now what?

Get Roped with Hope.

Unknown said...

@Anonymous 1:49pm u don mad before??? Hw u dey defend the mad lovers like this???

Unknown said...

Lol.

Anonymous said...

*Linda. Looks like there is a general misconception of mental illness. "Mad people" can enjoy intercourse and good food and good weather and other things you and I enjoy and recognize friends and families in most cases.
By the way, spending 4days in the hospital after an appendix surgery without complications is no longer the case. You should be up and home bound by 24 to 48hrs

Blackgold said...

@Anon 1:49pm e be like say u don first mad before. This one wey u know the difference so much stood on ur word repeatedly.

Anonymous said...

Well said Anon 1:49

NOELLA said...

MADNESS DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE TRUDGING AROUND IN A DAZE TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO THE WORLD..THEY BASICALLY HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS WHERE THEY ARE USUALLY DEPRESSED AND SEE AND HEAR THINGS..BUT THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO PREPARE MEALS ALBEIT USING DIRTY WATER OR PICKING FROM THE GARBAGE CAN...THEY HAVE SEXUAL NEEDS AND MIGHT MANIFEST THEM INAPPROPRIATELY....THESE PEOPLE CAN THRIVE WITH MEDICATION..IN THE US THERE ARE MANY SCHIZOPHRENIC, BIPOLAR, MANIC DEPRESSIVE PEOPLE AND THE WHOLE GAMUT WHO ARE FUNCTIONING AND THRIVING WITH PSYCHOTROPIC MEDICATIONS AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW IT..I HAVE A CAUCASIAN FRIEND WHO TOLD ME THAT WITHOUT HIS MEDS HE CANNOT FUNCTION AT ALL AND HE IS ONE OF THE NICEST MOTS LEVEL HEADED PEOPLE I KNOW...GIVE THIS WOMAN AND MANY OTHERS MEDICATION AND THEIR LIVES WILL CHANGE...

Black Belle said...

Good question

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 1:49... Au u know? U don mad before??? Just kidding

Unknown said...

Pls visit my blog bettykrislav.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Best comment ever...I don't know you but u are "too gbaski" jor. Chop knuckle. I have had to work with the mentally challenged, and the first thing I learnt, "don't refer to them as mad". Linda, please take note (in Juliets voice). Using the word "mad" is derogatory and ignorant on your part. You should know better. They are humans, mentally ill and should not be made fun of...Its Ok for you to carry the story, but the choice of words is my reservation. Please, be informed. Like someone rightfully said, give these two home/hospital care and medications for a month and you won't recognise them. Anyway...a word is enough. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere that mad people are really just like us in regards their incessant chatter in their heads. Whereas we continously think meaningless thoughts but we keep them in our heads, mad people however voice every single thought. We are all mad if we can't control that never-ending stream of thoughts whether silent or verbal.

Nikki said...

Well said.

Anonymous said...

Everybody wey contribute to this useless story including lib need to be in the Psychiatric hospital

Unknown said...

oh my!!!!

Unknown said...

Some Education down here.

Unknown said...

Really funny but we all are human

walexy said...

Even mad piple sef need to freestyle na, body no be wood ooo

walexy said...

Even mad piple sef need to freestyle na, body no be wood ooo

walexy said...

Even mad piple sef need to freestyle na, body no be wood ooo

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