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Monday 24 June 2013

Dear LIB readers: I love my fiance but I hate his family

From a female LIB reader
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please help me.

404 comments:

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Claire said...

What is your fiancee's attitude and opinion about the whole set up ? Is he ready to stand up for you and possibly break free from the shackles of his family bond or does he go along because of all the money etc.?
These are pertinent questions you must ask yourself. If your husband to be is chained to them , then your future with him and his family does not look rosy. Your prospective in laws have already broken boundaries in disrespecting you and your family.If your fiancee can not protest and put a stop then you are in for a rough ride. Look before you leap.
Claire

Anonymous said...

my dear, u r not marrying dis guy alone but his family. there is a Yoruba adage that says, u can marry a bad man but u can't have a bad in-law.
r u sure dis guy will continue 2 love u even if his family continue 2 threaten u? if u r sure his love 4 u is real and so much that he can defend u in his family then no problem.
me as person, I love my fiancé family than I love him.

Anonymous said...

walk away gurl. you don't want to be enslaved for the rest of your life, do ya?

Anonymous said...

My comment is coming late, but i hope u are able to read it. i had similar experience, infact the same experience, d only difference is mine was from an evil ibo mother in law. i ended up calling off the wedding just 2days to the day. it wasn't easy but it was the best decision of my life. i still miss my ex fiancee but his family i don't want to ever see. if u are not strong enough, don't attempt it, this is a life time journey.

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