Dear LIB readers: I love my fiance but I hate his family
From a female LIB reader
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please help me.
if your mother in law to be ask such questions in front of your man and he says nothing.my dear na bondage u wan go enter.its still early to run.don't start wht u will regret.
from what i understand, the only option is "quit! Quit!? Quit!!! Unless u want to be a prisoner in ur husband's house. U can't even buy ur sanitary without consulting her. Abeg, quit
Duh! Like seriously. If you've got no legs come use mine,cos the case is meant to be the other way round...... My dear don't enter it,and if you do don't complain afterward. If your Man can not use his head now be sure of his dick being controlled later
4get d guy n his family if he can't stand up 4 u. But wait a minute! Have u taken out time 2 discuss it wit ur hubby? If u havn't, pls do. He might think u're comfortable cos I believe he's already used 2 being remoted. If he refuses, I hopefully believe u'll be my next gf
My advice is don't leave ur man. U are a woman n every woman has the power to build there home just the way they want it. If u don't like what they are doing I think u should bold up n speak out n if they dont like it they can as well not visit ur home or if ur husband is not fine with it then he's not ready for u but if he's fine with it then the rest can take a walk....never let anybody control ur home cos if they all had there own homes am sure they won't all up in ur business and for his sister der own go jam them for front but pls don't leave ur man cos a sole mate only come ones in a life time but they are lots of lovers .... P.S : Knowledge is light just as ignorance is darkness .
If u luv ur life run as far as ur leg can carry u.am a victim of such crap.d only thing my mother inlaw does nt knw abt my marriage is hw far d son's dick gets in my pussy.am in hell but am still here bc of my kids.
If u luv ur life run as far as ur leg can carry u.am a victim of such crap.d only thing my mother inlaw does nt knw abt my marriage is hw far d son's dick gets in my pussy.am in hell but am still here bc of my kids.
While it makes a lot the behaviours and belief systems of the family you are marrying (I always consider it d litmus test), bottomline d character of d man you wish to marry carries d most weight - him proving to u that he is not like his family and above all, him being dedicated to protecting you from them. So, that will be first question. Is ur man even trying to protect you at all? He knows his family, he has probably learnt how to handle them, so if he's not doing anything to shield you or reduce their exposure to u, then I will be quite worried. Itz not going to be easy marrying into d family any which way, but having ur man playing for ur team reduces the headache. So, daz why I consider it most important.
U need 2 ask d othr plp dt married in2 d family hw they re handling it, thn u need 2 tell ur man hw u feel, nd u need 2 strt nw 2 strt asserting ur authority, u cn stand ur ground nw about hw u wnt ur marriage 2 look lk no matter who u re facing nd if they perceive u 2 be difficult let them walk, bt my dear no marriage is easy if u run nw wthout evn tryn all options who knws wht othr trouble ul meet wth another man nd his family. And above all u shld pray,let God direct u, if he is nt 4 u dnt force it
Pls my dear, I'll advice u to quit now.. cos frm wht u explain, ur man is being controlled by his family and will be easily manipulated by them... his family will not hesitate to replace u with another woman whn they get tired of u and ur man might not hv wht it takes to stand to ur defence.. unless u are willing to be a slave to his family for God knows how long usually until ur children are grown and can fight for u... no man is worth dat sacrifice, if he cant treat u like his queen and make sure his family respects u and ur family too.
IN ALL YOU FAILED TO MENTION UR FIANCE'S PART IN DIS DRAMA...THE FAMILY CAN CONTROL YOU WELLA IF THEY ALREADY CONTROL UR FIANCE!!! NO ONE CAN DECIDE FR U COS NA ONLY U GO DEH D MARRIAGE...
Shut up! My dear plz take a walk! Even if ur fiance stands by u now,wot abt d family....hmmm dey will do anytin possible 2 bring u down! Don't start a battle u can't finish....Gudluck!!
Shut up dr!I beg ur pardon!I'm a wife 2 d Onirus.Yes,dy might b ruling d world but dy dnt rule or maltreat dr wives. In my nxt world,ll want 2 b a part of dm again. Proudly Oniru
Same iiiish I'm in, can't stand my bfs family, dey always have stuff to cmplain about! Hey u dint call, hey u dint visit, hey ur dress is short, hey u giv ur family to much of ur time, jeeeeez I can literarily strangulate dem all, but I love my bf! Dey make me hate him wit every complain!
My dear, wen u see a masquared comin, wat do u do? Stand there looking or run? Pls run ooo. Dnt luk bak cos dat family wil only ruin u. I belive in luv but i aint takin s**t cos of it. I rest my case. Nexttt!!!
Shut up! My dear,plz take a walk! Even if ur fiance stands by u now or even after marriage,ur inlaws will surely wud do anytin humanly possible 2 bring u down if u don comply 2 dia wishes....plz don't enslave urslf,it's not fun! Gudluck
My dear,please don,t start what you can,t finish,Let that family be for God Sake, a middle class man with peaceful background is good 2 go,If i must say i do not see a future if you go ahead with the marriage believe it or not they will surely turn you to slave because ur man is a fucking ajebuter mugu sowwie 2 say,Use ur number 6 well make your marriage no be like 9ja home video ooh.
WHO IS TALKING ABOUT LEARNING TO LOVE HIS FAMILY WEN THEY R FULL OF HELL, AS FAR AS IM CONCERN MY DEAR TAKE A VERY BIG WALK. THE BIBLE SAID A MAN WILL "LEAVE" HIS FAMILY, SAME GOES TO D WOMAN AND BOTH SHALL BECOME "ONE". MARRIAGE WAS NEVER MEANT FOR FAMILY MEMBERS TO INTERFERE. AM MARRIED FOR 3YRS NOW, HONESTLY I CANT TAKE IT.
Ur beautiful sister?*2 small*Biko,wr u see her pics..who told u she's small or beautiful?Ode!!Or Linda,na her pics u display so?4 ur mind,u don comment abi.abegii!
My dear ask questions from anyone who has married into that home be it male or female, also if he is the only son, please sit down n talk with ur man n lay ur fears on the table, if he promises to stand up to them or support u then u can give it a try but if he sounds defensive please use the closest door n leave cuz u will only get married to a puppet n that's a recipe for a broken home. It's not worth it.
my dear it all depends on what your man thinks about his family's attitude if he supports them 100% then walk away cos that means it will be them you are marrying not him. but if he is the kind that puts them in their place and does not follow all their biding then u can take the risk.But i will advise you to sit him down and have a long talk with him about how you feel if he doesn't think you are making sense give him time to think about it you can postpone the wedding if he doesn't change his mind move on babe a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. When i married my husband for the 1st 2 years in my marriage every major decision in my house was always passed tru mommy and mommy's decisions prevailed for 2yrs in my home until i stood my grounds and spoke wisdom into my husbands mind and soul now its just the two of us and the holy spirit that take decisions in my home BLISS!
I believe the family means well but I have concerns about the belittling questions you wrote your dad was asked.NOBODY DESERVES TO BE BELITTLED NO MATTER HOW POOR HE OR SHE IS.On the other hand, if you love your fiance, you must love his family too no matter how they are. Many rich people do not like their daughter-in-laws to work bwecause they want to aavoid infidelity. We all know what many married women do on the jobs nowadays. All the best.
If your man isn't asserting himself enough to get them off your personal life even now that you guys are courting, sweetheart DO NOT WALK OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP; RUN OUT!! You can't teach a man how to be. even if you do, he'll learn to make you happy but in the long run HE IS THE MAN HE IS!!! Aburo RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN
My dear, God is just telling you what to do. Leave them, its not worth it. Marrying that guy is setting yourself up for a lifetime of war and pain with his family!! Run!!!
Am going through something similar. In my own case, my family is the one that is controlling and manipulative. Even after we drew the lines, instead of realizing their mistakes, they turned my inlaws into their best friends, now having the inlaws gang up on us to do whatever they want us to do. Money is evil. Imagine us going through this from my side of the family. The only saving grace is that my husband and I have good jobs so we can speak up. But speaking against the matriarch, has made them class is as wayward children. Be thankful that ur family has not be bought yet by pretence or manipulations.
This sounds like Buki.. why didnt you tell the LIBers that you decided to get pregnant to trap him? If you cant stand his mother you better go back to your mothers house. Park well and face the music you composed for yourself.. Rubbish sorry excuse for a woman.
Dey will so frustrate u Dat even d love u have for their son will begin too fizzle out ESP if he's d type Dat loves his family in quote. There's more to. Marriage Dan just ur love, family is key too. If u decide to stay,u shld knw uneasy lies. D head Dat wears d crown. ...
Dey will so frustrate u Dat even d love u have for their son will begin too fizzle out ESP if he's d type Dat loves his family in quote. There's more to. Marriage Dan just ur love, family is key too. If u decide to stay,u shld knw uneasy lies. D head Dat wears d crown. ...
Same thing happened to me, but since i walked out on everthing, the guy has been traveling up and down begging.. a leopard wont change its skin... move on with your life... people like that dont change.... they can beg you now... but in 5 years you will be back to status quo
My dear u shuld think twice b4 u take any decision. Marrying d guy u have totally married d family. I think ur guy don't really have a say in d family his a guy dat listen to his family more. Dat mean u are in big troblue entring dat family. Richness is nt every thing. My only advice to u just pray very well about it and u will find a solution to it. U re d one inside it and only u can solve ur problem.don't look at is money why making any decision but think of ur happiness first.
If you cannot contain the situation now, you definitely won't be able to contain it when you marry him. They question you even up to what you wear? Ask your father belittling questions? Quite serious. They tell you to quit your job after marriage? What has your fiancee said to all these? Talk to him about it and if he says there is nothing he can do, call it off, though it may not be easy since you love him. Else, they'd clip you completely and it'll be too late to regret.
My dear,please don,t start what you can,t finish,Let that family be for God Sake, a middle class man with peaceful background is good 2 go,If i must say i do not see a future if you go ahead with the marriage believe it or not they will surely turn you to slave because ur man is a fucking ajebuter mugu sowwie 2 say,Use ur number 6 well make your marriage no be like 9ja home video ooh.
discuss it with him first, see how he handles his mother's decision, but from what you have said nobody is able to stand up to his mum. infact sef all this one is long talk. RUN AWAY!!! what sort of stupid controlling attitude is that, even having the audacity to summon your father to her house. nonsense
If you are sure without a doubt that ur man won't be controlled by his family, then you are good. If he is not man enough to challenge his family and/or defend you then you have a problem. Caz the truth is there isn't a thing you can do about the family situation and u certainly don't want them hating you.
My dear, if you can't cope with your man's family, then it's best to walk away now and save yourself a world regret and eventual resentment of your man after getting married to him. Moving abroad won't even change anything- trust me, I'm going through the same nonsense- I put my foot down too late and currently I'm not on speaking terms with any of my in laws. Not that I care what they think or say about me. If you know you can't stomach any of it- walk away to freedom.
My dear pray over it, and consult your fiance before making any decision,marriage is not somting u walk in and walk out. Your happiness matters more than any other thing.
I agree with some of the comments here. My #1 advice to you is to pray about the whole situation. Ask God to silence your fiance's family, grant you absolute favor in their sight. Also, speak to your man about it and see what he does about it. If he really loves you, he will put his foot down against his meddling family. Now if he does nothing about it, he's a weakling, know that he won't protect you when his family come troubling, in that case I can say run, unless you're sure you can go through hell for the sake of love. Another way to solve this is to marry the man and sweet tongue/ sweetly convince him to move far far far away from the meddling family members. Overall, prayer changes everything and a positive attitude can win some of them over.
baby girl love cant be the only pltform for marriage..marriage is a life affair.walkin out isnt an easy option and stayin put isnt any better..so my advice turn to GOD and let him be your only confidant..God will not give you more than wat u can handle..let GOd be a Light unto your path and a lamp unto your feet.God knows all rather than turning to ma..men fail but God never fails..stay happy :)
swt hrt, pls talk to ur man about it, b4 u run.cuz once u marry him, u marry the family ok.my elder sis is a victim to this ur own story n she is regreting it.linda pls post my comment!
First of all u pray abt it,talk to ur man and if their is nothing he can do then u hv to run.inlaws can really be pain in the ass if u allow them.but u hv said it all.noone dare questions her.marriage is a life time thing.pls pray
The fact that they have even said you'll quit your job after the wedding is all the red flags you need sweety... even if your man stands up for you, if you are not at peace with his family, they'll still find many ways to frustrate you! he wont always by your side>> Think! oh, one more thing, if you decide to walk away, make sure you tell them "GO FUCK YOURSELVES" and then slam the door HARD! i'm out! .......Brittany.......
Pls run. For a family that does not respect your family. Ur deeginitely going to face a lot of insult. Marriage is not a bed of roses nt to talk of a troublesome family and a non supportive husband
*screaming at the top of my voice* RUN GIRL, RRRUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!
all these ones telling you to manage will not be there to hold you when it starts, the truth is that, God always shows us those signs early but most times, we ignore it and get in anyway. don't let that be your portion. leave now that u haven't said "i do". yes, your heart may be crashed but it'll be mended by the comforter and God will send you your Isaac! don't settle with Ishmael and the crap that comes with it.
~a word is enough for the wise, she who has ears, let her hear~
Oga sit put and wait time is everything, all you need to do is impress them but mind you your best is not enough until ITS ENOUGH.....Just be patience okay
Ma dear every woman prays for fruit of the womb, but God answers all in different time zone. Imagine not getting preg ontime after wedding, with dis ur inlaws u av lost. try to think of the CONS oo, PROS are very minor. pls leave dis guy. there is nothing to talk to him about. Seriously wat do u expect him to say, "babe u can go if u don't love me" or "don't worry I will go check mom" even the luxury u r milking on, is from the so-called parents. sooo guess wat?
Now is the right time for you to quit the relationship. Money without happiness is worse than hell. Expect more or worse than what you experience in your relationship also in your marriage - T.D Jakes. Happiness (good home) supersedes everything but from your story, this home will never give you that. wakeup
My dear,u better use ur head well.marriage and courtship ar two diff things. Haltogether!does dis guy really love u to stand by u all d way or ur love for him higher dan his own?those ar d questions u need to ans before embarking on d marriage
my dear, am even going thru one right nw dat their mum is the almighty in their home n my husband had no sey of his own. Al advise had to come from d mum or sisters... Even d last child in d family can change my husband's decission! Am abt leaving d marriage nw cos really i cnt coupe anymore... If these pple are rich, then u will sey i did oju kokoro... Bt these family re not near average ooo!!! so my dear, DON'T EVEN THINK ABT IT OOOO... My advice is DON'T
Hmmmm..... I had a similar experience..... It was even more horrible than yours. My mother in law took out time to find all my exes, but thank God all of them were very intelligent and every ladies dream. It was my husband I spoke with. He is very strong. He stood up very tall for my family and I. I also spoke to God...l. I prayed till I saw changes. When I was sure my husband had broken lose off his family's chain.... We got married. It's been 6 wonderful years and three adorable kids....I couldn't have made a better choice.
My dear sister... If your husband to be can stay strong enough to shield you all.... Then u can carry on. Also talk to God till He speaks back to you. The lord is your strength..... One thing though, don't lie to yourself, if you don't see him as a strong person, now is the time to move away...All the best.... Love.... PSB
U are yet to c d worst frm his family!wait till ur 2legs are into d family,dey will make u wat dey want u to be!my dear!notin worts taking ur peace of mind n freedom!if ur guy is d type dat dances to their tone,den u must hv a retink abt dis marrige o
Hmmmm..... I had a similar experience..... It was even more horrible than yours. My mother in law took out time to find all my exes, but thank God all of them were very intelligent and every ladies dream. It was my husband I spoke with. He is very strong. He stood up very tall for my family and I. I also spoke to God...l. I prayed till I saw changes. When I was sure my husband had broken lose off his family's chain.... We got married. It's been 6 wonderful years and three adorable kids....I couldn't have made a better choice.
My dear sister... If your husband to be can stay strong enough to shield you all.... Then u can carry on. Also talk to God till He speaks back to you. The lord is your strength..... One thing though, don't lie to yourself, if you don't see him as a strong person, now is the time to move away...All the best.... Love.... PSB
D earlier d better,cos wit all dis description,u wee eventually leave...let's bet it.if d guy cnt evn manage to hide all ds family flawz now,be rest assured u aint seen shit!!The matriach go still ask u how many rounds una dey knack per day....Anuofia Matriach
There are certain things you need to clarify before taking a decision.on whose side is your fiance?If you're SURE he'll stand by always then take the risk but if not talk to him about your fears and listen to his response.Weigh him by his options to see if you will still remain with him.best of luck.
wow ! ! I used to fink this kinda family only exist in movies...
U gats to give ur guy ultimatum, dats if he respects ur opinion.. A guy who cannot live without his father's wealth and who always allows someone else to make decisions for him aint fit to get married.. u will jes continue this weird lineage.. If he does not accept ur ultimatum, walk away... If he loves and care for u, he will damn all consequences. But the simplest thing to do is run run and run... May God help ya
There are certain things you need to clarify before taking a decision.on whose side is your fiance?If you're SURE he'll stand by always then take the risk but if not talk to him about your fears and listen to his response.Weigh him by his options to see if you will still remain with him.best of luck.
Honestly...modernized house maid!!! U will always be in their mercy. They will expect u to tell wateva it is u r doing...every goddamn thing. My dear its a huge challenge...am in one now but I thank God so far. I dn't think u should go in because wen u'll eventually want to behave d way u r, u tend to quarrel with everyone. So my dear think abt it. This kind of family sef d guy may nt even have a say especially with the fact dat the parents r rich.
This kind of parents put their children under dem instead of d kids being above.
Sister like I said am in one now and its not funny so I dn't advise u do dis atleast u noticed it on time. U won't have peace of mind for as long as dey r alive except God's intervention.
Dear change is a constant variable and prayer is d key. Bcos of d love u ha e for d guy just pray for God to grant u favour in dat family and Pray that God should use u to let the family to no that wealth is vanity. Pls don't run away. Daniel did not run away frm Babylon even when d king insist that they must eat his food that he has already sacrifices to idol. Read d book of daniel and pick courage. All thos people advising u to run or call it off. Just take ur guy and tru him up u will see that they will b d first to pick him. Pls don't mind them some will advice u to live and when u are gone d will go and take ur place.
Pls disappear quickly.....u're not married to them yet they are already doing all these,,its even insultive for them to summon your dad,,,,it should be the other way round,,,,pre-wedding meetings are held in the bride's father's house and at his own convenience......do not ridicule urself and ur parents by enslaving urself to a so-called wealthy family!!!
Women have come to far in history to allow something like this to be happening in the 21st century. You have your own apirations and goals , and non of those should be given up mearly because your husband comes from a prominent family because you are marrying him to be your husband not your accountant and financial advisor. If the man you married was not of this status, you would not have thought of giving up your aspirations and career, so this should be no different. you need to seriously talk to your husband and let him know how these things will break your marriage. You need to make it very clear to him and then sit down with the family so that theyve heard you once and for all. Dont be combative but be clear. If your husband does not listen, then theres no point getting married, your signing off to matrimony not prison and such a marriage seems like a prison. however, if he listens and understands then it would make all the difference when talking to the family. Youre husbands family one day had choices that got them to where they are today, theres no reason why you can not have the same choices to do what you want with your life as long as it never comes before your children or your love for your husband.Money cant buy everything and it certainly can not by you or your goals. I wish you the best and hope that you do what is right for you!
Is their son Jesus Christ? Dear, the only way to handle this is to have a heart to heart talk with your man, and lay all your concerns on the table. Make your demands if he truly loves you and wants to marry you. As a woman, we have more power than we think, you just have to find a way to also be 10 steps ahead of his family and be very smart about it. Again, make your demands and he will listen to you and even stand up to his family for you...that is if he truly wants to be with you. BE FEARLESS GIRL!
My dear RUN n never look back,some yoruba families n their wahala,even if ur guy stands by u today,I tell u it won't last cos he would ALWAYS go back to his family,its typical of them,don't put urself into a life time regret,there r other guys(better)out there.
The rule in a relationship typically is that each person manages their own family members to avoid being disrespectful in any way.
If your fiance sees you being disrespected by his family but hasn't manned up to put his family in check, then your issue is with your fiance and not his family.
As some point, we all have to grow up and stop being treated like children by our parents.
My dear it is a life of misery thatt awaitts you if you marry that man. They are even already telling you to quit your job - so that they can really control you. It's not how much you love your fiancee, but rather how prepared he is to stand up for you and from all you've said; he's not ready at all! Pray over it! And all the best.
if this guy really loves you, then I think he should consider your feelings about his family, and do something fast if he really wants to settle down with you. but if the young man is nonchalant about his family's drama then my dear you need a man that has a life cos dats no life.
All u guys r saying is, "RUN BABY GIRL RUN!". Will you (adviser) marry the son of these " Tatchers" if she absconds his plan? But you said you love him, while his family is your problem....are you sure you really love him? I cant imagine all these folks who could not keep a relationship for just two months, advising someone on this context. My dear you know the truth; if you really love the dude like you said the family will not be a problem at all. They will see that eventually & accept you after everything. I think they see that you love his money, thus have to scrutinize you to find your motive. His Mama sniffs your motive to be deadly & that's the reason 4 all these whore-tests & hoe-revealing interviews. So let your love get him to fight for you two, as you endure the family...that's if you are telling us the truth that you truly love him! Shekina! #weresoyinka#
All u guys r saying is, "RUN BABY GIRL RUN!". Will you (adviser) marry the son of these " Tatchers" if she absconds his plan? But you said you love him, while his family is your problem....are you sure you really love him? I cant imagine all these folks who could not keep a relationship for just two months, advising someone on this context. Girl you know the truth; if you really love the dude like you said the family will not be a problem at all. They will see that eventually & accept you after everything. I think they see that you love his money, thus have to scrutinize you to find your motive. His Mama sniffs your motive to be deadly & that's the reason 4 all these whore-tests & hoe-revealing interviews. So let your love get him to fight for you two, as you endure the family...that's if you are telling us the truth that you truly love him! Shekina! #weresoyinka#
This dude is just a fool. Like seriously? Speechless. Am new to dis blog and bin watchn his comments cos i wonder why pple always pick on him. Needless to say he is such a daftie. Gooosh!
Do dis people have any influence I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ anyway on ur fiance? If they do, then Ʊ'r I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ trouble but if they don't then, Ʊ can stil cope wit d situation as long as ur husband stands by you. Why wld they summon ur father on several occassions to ask him questions that'll belittle him? Its wa o! If I were Ʊ, I'll quit cos marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured. Let me tell Ʊ, money is not evrythn. Ur in-laws are too arrogant, sausy and domineering and this kind of people can make Ʊ forget ur own family if care is not taken. Obviously, ur sister in-law is not on ur side for saying nonesense to Ʊ, ur mother-inlaw is ready to show case her power on Ʊ. Hw can she ask d Doctor to examine Ʊ? Babe, check A̶̲̥̅̊♍ well o and tell urself d truth b4 Ʊ end up I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ life-long misery. I pray they won't throw Ʊ out of d house one day. Ʊ better start running for ur dear life before dem give Ʊ High Blood pressure and turn Ʊ to a̶̲̥̅̊ woman of sorrows. Now tell me thank Ʊ!
Swthrt! I can imagine hw hurt ulld feel walking away, considerin hw long u guys av dated buh sincerely dats d best option. All dey r displayin r signs and hints to wat d future holds. Pls encourage urself, be a strong, intelligent and independent lady and take a walk. So dat u won't miss d real man God has kept for u. Lots of love from pearl.
My dear first tok wif ur fiance n kw his stand in all dis, den u act according 2 his ans. Mind u if he is lyk"dnt wori it will b fine". My dear na Run! Run! Run! Gud luck wif ur decision.
My dear if the family dont like you or see something good in you, the would have trown u out since not to talk of marriage...it means the find you worthy to be part of them...they do like you, but its just that you are not just use to the money ego thing....focus on ur guy...play along with the family,,,,,after all his parents are ur elders...respect..
Na wa o- you know the family is controlling and you are sick of them yet you are still asking whether you should stay or go? Oya, carrying on staying with the man and presumably look forward to a life of imprisonment!
Babes, all we have is your end of the story. We don't know the kind of person you truly are. Then again, these so called fake arse elites can be so annoying! To think they have the most of ill mannered kids of both sexes. But they try to restrict their kid's spouses. If your intentions are sincere and you also do not have skeletons in your cupboards and you are really being treated unfairly...please quit. Should you search yourself however,and find that you are the problem...either you are also marrying the guy for the wrong reasons or for fame and money,... Really,it's your wish,I won't tell you to quit. I ll rather advise that you hang in there and take whatever is thrown at u cos babey,u asked for it! Babey, be sincere with yourself..... And, PRAY! All the best. I had the chance of marrying rich and famous guys but I chose none of them. I settled for a normal guy that promised me not money nor fame but an interesting life...and he is sure delivering! He takes my side with his family even when im at fault but scolds me later. . . now,that who i call a man! We have a cute son and I'm happy! Life ain't about fame and money...which won't travel Life's longest journey with us. Our priorities differ, set yours!
pls leave now u hv d chance b4 u make a mistake of ur life time. wen u are gettn married to a man u are also marryn his family. it is beta 2 leave now or say had i known in furture my dear.
My dear,even if your guy is a man of his own and can stand is ground against his family cos of you, dat might be detrimental even to you on the long run. Its not as if dia's any perfect inlaw any where buh with the way you've described dem i don't think you can cope. Buh if you love your guy much(ofcourse love alone is not enough to make a r/ship work),why not seek more advice from any woman married into the same family on how she's coping. If what you hear suits u,then stay. If not, then a broken r/ship is far better than an unhappy one#justmyopinion#
I suggest you stay out of kitchen if you can't stand the heat! The parents have made the kids attractive enough for you to like them... if you can't like all of them including their short comings, then make way let someone who would love them wholly come in... Ladi
Every one here is telling her to back off while u guys have not consider the love involve expect she dnt truly love this guy in question, most of the ladies here are getting more than this in their relationship nd their still there simply because of the love both of them share. So please my people dnt advice someone to do wht u kn u can not do if ur in her shoe as for u my dear if you people are madly in love I dnt think u will be asking fr help because LOVE is all that matter's
when you marry a man....it is his family you marry. If they have done all these things even before the wedding....be sure to expect worse things. Yes, you love your man but his family does have a way of turning him against you if you don't suck up to them like they want. In the end you loose. Run as fast as you can... once you get married there is no going back.
pls dear run as fast as you can, dts not a kind of life that is worth living nd marriage is a lifetime issue so you either live with it forever or say no and be happy. and the guy in question if he can't control his family now he can Neva Eva..... so decries make hay while the sun shines
What are you still waiting for?!? It never gets better with people like that. If the dude will protect you when you are married to him then you should see the signs in him from now; protecting you at all times and stopping his mum/family from interfering in your relationship with him.....if he's not doing that then you are soo on your own my dear!
My dear from experience I will advice u run for your life. I ve been married for six years now.Controlling and wicked in laws is the worst thing that can happen to any woman! As I type this now my stupid in laws have convinced my husband to marry another wife just because I refused to play by their rules. For the past 6 years i ve been thru hell, living in bondage in my own home.They ve totally turned my husband against me, am literally having suicidal thoughts. Please be wise, don't make same mistake. I wish somebody sat me down and gave me this advice six years back.
Why should u run?? Girlfiend better grow some cojones and start fighting for your marriage! Be tough and take the fight to them! tell your dad NOT to run when they call, he shouldnt even answer the phone and return the call 2 days later...sorry he was busy, finish! When they ask you to do a test, say NO! Stand your bloody ground! Tell your hubby too! He will respect you for it. Tell him to tell his mama to stop the intimidation and meddling. If it carries on you will stop the wedding, simples! The thing about women is yall never speak, you should be having this discussion with him not us! If you see that you cant win then call it off but don't go out without a fight. They are rich so they will always feel better than you and your fam until you start standing your own ground, then they will start to respect you. Besides this just sounds like an annoyance you can ignore or handle with skill and diplomacy, why call off a marriage to someone you love cos of this small thing?? With their connections use your brain and make yourself a big madam in your own right, they will have no choice but to respect you, money talks o. If you dont have the heart for such a fight then quit then.
The word is 'MOVE' this is slavery in its entire form. U can't be happy with this kind of relationship. Marriage is a life time commitment, so please think about your life n happiness. Don't waste time. I beg of you. May God help you.
Look, if you wan be your fiance family broom and rag na your palava be dat. But the one way dey pain me na the insult upon injury wey them hip for your papa head. Make i tell you any body wey do that kind thing for my papa, i go insult in past, present and in future then spit for in face b4 i wakka. Oloshi girl. Sitdown there make another family dey use your papa brush teeth. Useless girl. Leave your job. You know say wen you marry the rich family, after you don beg them for money to take care of yourself, den you go come plead with them make dem give you money wey you go send go your papa and mama as you don dump your job marry into rich family. You be small pikin sitdown there dey wait for LIB readers to give you advice. Sorry for yourself.
My dear! D only thing I'll advice u to do is to talk with ur man,tell him how u feel and how u want things to be.if he really loves u he won't side his mum,and he'll never let u go. Just tell him how u feel den if he doesn't understand den I guess u should just invite chioma ajunwa and run 4 ur life
My dear! D only thing I'll advice u to do is to talk with ur man,tell him how u feel and how u want things to be.if he really loves u he won't side his mum,and he'll never let u go. Just tell him how u feel den if he doesn't understand den I guess u should just invite chioma ajunwa and run 4 ur life
My dear, you do not need to run! You have to talk to your fiance and just tell him it's the thwo of you and no third party. As for the family, never back down! No matter how reach they are....i am experiencing the same thing but they respect me more as I do my own thing and always stand my ground...and remember, work and earn your living, don't lieve off them or your fiance....They will respect you more....do you own thing and don't accept things from them!
@Sunday Otun 2:01pm, thank you. if d bobo na from a poor family, i bet the bbe would have not even checked Linda Ikeji...lol, Mama Linda post my comments abet.
please no matter how much u love a person u can find love elsewhere marriage is not dependent on love but on happiness,do you want to get married and become unhappy because of all the pressure from his family? then the love u have for him will stop growing cos your unhappy so please walk out while u can or pray to God for direction.
Gurl, i would advise u to back out. it's never too late to call it quit. But if you know that's the kind of life u want for urself go ahead.......... Best of luck
You should have gone for the concert yourself. That way you would have seen everything that happened, other than waiting for Linda to post it and being insulting too. Please go learn manners
In my case my in laws were very controlling , I had always prayed for a mother in law because I threw myself into the family , they assumed I was desperate for their love , Awon eniyan jati jati , they started showing me , and my husband being too close to his mum could not talk . As they are all very close , gradually I just learnt to ignore all of them , me ------ I don't see , hear , smell or feel them, when they come there is food plenty of it and I make them comfortable that's it oooo, to me they don't exist , I removed myself completely from them emotionally , if you no tell me say you born wetin concern me , no phone calls , no visit , nothing . When they had seen I no send they started being nice and I made it known to everyone that I was not going to take their nonsense again . As for hubby gradually he started realizing that I meant business and his family is important unlike before . Now am on top of my game ooooo . My sister use your head if you decide to enter this marriage you must be very strong and focused no dulling , no mumu , don't be confrontational but know where to draw the line I beg you .
pls you just have to take hills, cos its going to be a tragedic one if u go ahead and u may end up ENDURING you marriage when you are meant to be ENJOYING you marriage
Sounds like your man is a puppet. Just walk away now cos u can't win if he can't stand up to protect u. Remember a lifetime could be a looooong time. Belittling your Dad is just unacceptable.
my Dear,u ve 2 black off d relationship oooo ,hear dis i va a gf who married 2 his rich so call family,d family control d marry,tell d hubby what 2 do & what not 2 do,after 3yrs of marry, she va 1 % half yr old son & 3 month baby d marry pack off, d lady is d one dt taking care of her kids,feeding,clothing,houseing & d rest,4 yrs now dt d hubby black off d marry he va no one day ask of dem, my sweet heart pls black off d marry,d good LORD dt we serve we bless u with ur heart desires hubby ijn amen
the only person that has sense out of these lib voltrons is bloglord.prince jobless,be mumu sha.who is talking about money.we r talking about domination ere.bt i no blame u,wetin small pikin know....oh babey,its better to have bad husband dan bad inlaws.nd trust me ur hubby wont be able to control it cos its been happening even before he was born.it wont stop on his account.2 options,run for ur life or go chop winsh.sister lindodo abeg post my comment
the only person that has sense out of these lib voltrons is bloglord.prince jobless,be mumu sha.who is talking about money.we r talking about domination ere.bt i no blame u,wetin small pikin know....oh babey,its better to have bad husband dan bad inlaws.nd trust me ur hubby wont be able to control it cos its been happening even before he was born.it wont stop on his account.2 options,run for ur life or go chop winsh.sister lindodo abeg post my comment
in any relationship be it marital or courtship if the man alwz goes bak to his parents and involves them in his own family issues my dear there are gonna be lots of problem.money cant buy you peace or happiness.if you stay cos of the money i hope u dont regret it eventualy.but go for happiness and peace notn can buy that.
My dear you have just three choices. 1. Dump the guy and run as fast as your legs will carry you. 2. Stay and let that family turn you into a freaking wreck. 3. Stay and spend the rest of your life fighting them with your husband also supporting them.
is better u quit than going into fire.but u can still tell ur man and know his reaction, if it seems negative, pls backoff than going into hell while alive bc if u didn't dance in their tone deffinitly there will be an enemity btw u and d mum nd ie hell.
WHY DO YOU NEED LIB READERS FOR ADVICE. IF HE WAS FROM A POOR HOME WOULD YOU HAVE BOTHERED ASKING FOR ADVICE. MOREOVER ARE YOU STAYING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR FINACEE OR THE MONEY HIS MOTHER'S GOT.
There is fire on the mountain.... please run for your life..... but if you know u have that grace to cope... just know that you are there at your risk...
Loving your husband will also make you love the family. God is love and to enter a love relationship, love God. Let God rule your heart in all decisions to take. In time of courtship, you are to talk with your fiance, talk about your fears with him, hear from him, take decisions together and decisions taken, take them to the Lord. There is no hard person that cannot be win over with Love and Prayers. Shallom
there are poor men whose families are equally domineering so put up with them enjoy and enjoy .think of yr future children they will attend the best of schs and u would have paid for the sarcifice.
there are poor men whose families are equally domineering so put up with them enjoy and enjoy .think of yr future children they will attend the best of schs and u would have paid for the sarcifice.
there are poor men whose families are equally domineering so put up with them enjoy and enjoy .think of yr future children they will attend the best of schs and u would have paid for the sarcifice.
Ma dear, the same tin happened to one of ma close friend jos last month were her husband is being controlled by his mum. Urs is even beta dat you are seeing the signs now. Ma friend's mother in law was all nicety for 2 years until she found that her son was giving more attention to his wife than he was to her. before you know it this woman started manipulating her son against his wife and then dey separated. Ma dear, if your guy can't stand for you now that u are not in yet, then he will neva stand for you in the future. Pray and ask the holy spirit for guidance as well.
no need to walk away, FLEE!!!! dont listen to the people advising you to stay cos dey will not bear the pain with you. dont even consider giving it a second thogh becos of the money. you may not even live long to enjoy it.
My dear sister, the truth of this whole matter is that in marriage it's so important for you to have a good support system form your in laws, and if at this stage [ per wedding) you are having problems with the in laws. I think you shouldn't rush into this marraige because its a life time decision. Furthermore, one doesn't go into marriage to come out of it ! So therefore, pray and fast about this issue o. As for the wedding, please please do not rush into it, it's better that you call the wedding or engagement off than to go into a marraige and realize that you haven't met your soul mate. When you meet your soul mate, everything will fall into place even your in laws will adore you. The worst thing you can have is for your in laws to disrespect you and your own family. My dear marraige is only by Gods Grace. Stay blessed
My dear, love is not enough to make a marriage work. What will happen in future if u marry him and u fall out of love like most couples do? Then, u'll finally understand the meaning of the proverb 'blood is thicker than water!'. You need his family on your side, if not all of them, at least some of them.
404 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 404 Newer› Newest»if your mother in law to be ask such questions in front of your man and he says nothing.my dear na bondage u wan go enter.its still early to run.don't start wht u will regret.
from what i understand, the only option is "quit! Quit!? Quit!!! Unless u want to be a prisoner in ur husband's house. U can't even buy ur sanitary without consulting her. Abeg, quit
Story of my life
my dear just quit
Duh! Like seriously. If you've got no legs come use mine,cos the case is meant to be the other way round...... My dear don't enter it,and if you do don't complain afterward. If your Man can not use his head now be sure of his dick being controlled later
My dear I tink you should jst walk away.
4get d guy n his family if he can't stand up 4 u. But wait a minute! Have u taken out time 2 discuss it wit ur hubby? If u havn't, pls do. He might think u're comfortable cos I believe he's already used 2 being remoted. If he refuses, I hopefully believe u'll be my next gf
My advice is don't leave ur man. U are a woman n every woman has the power to build there home just the way they want it. If u don't like what they are doing I think u should bold up n speak out n if they dont like it they can as well not visit ur home or if ur husband is not fine with it then he's not ready for u but if he's fine with it then the rest can take a walk....never let anybody control ur home cos if they all had there own homes am sure they won't all up in ur business and for his sister der own go jam them for front but pls don't leave ur man cos a sole mate only come ones in a life time but they are lots of lovers ....
P.S : Knowledge is light just as ignorance is darkness .
If u luv ur life run as far as ur leg can carry u.am a victim of such crap.d only thing my mother inlaw does nt knw abt my marriage is hw far d son's dick gets in my pussy.am in hell but am still here bc of my kids.
If u luv ur life run as far as ur leg can carry u.am a victim of such crap.d only thing my mother inlaw does nt knw abt my marriage is hw far d son's dick gets in my pussy.am in hell but am still here bc of my kids.
While it makes a lot the behaviours and belief systems of the family you are marrying (I always consider it d litmus test), bottomline d character of d man you wish to marry carries d most weight - him proving to u that he is not like his family and above all, him being dedicated to protecting you from them. So, that will be first question. Is ur man even trying to protect you at all? He knows his family, he has probably learnt how to handle them, so if he's not doing anything to shield you or reduce their exposure to u, then I will be quite worried. Itz not going to be easy marrying into d family any which way, but having ur man playing for ur team reduces the headache. So, daz why I consider it most important.
Take a walk... that's a NO NO for me.. WALK AWAY..
U need 2 ask d othr plp dt married in2 d family hw they re handling it, thn u need 2 tell ur man hw u feel, nd u need 2 strt nw 2 strt asserting ur authority, u cn stand ur ground nw about hw u wnt ur marriage 2 look lk no matter who u re facing nd if they perceive u 2 be difficult let them walk, bt my dear no marriage is easy if u run nw wthout evn tryn all options who knws wht othr trouble ul meet wth another man nd his family. And above all u shld pray,let God direct u, if he is nt 4 u dnt force it
Gay alert!
Oh wow, u best pray.
Talk to your man and see if he is the type to support you in tough times, if he is then stay. If he isn't, my dear take a walk.
Take a bounce. U funny sha. allowing the doctor to be asking you useless question.
My dear am facing same thing I wish my in laws had been mean b4 d marriage den I wld hv knwn hw 2 run, unfortunately de hid their colours till I tied d knot bt thank God ma hubby has got ma bk big time I for don kpeme, speak 2 ur fiancé if no impprovmnt pls run as fast as u can.
Fu dn't lyk d family, d marriage wld cum crashing... Jus liv wyl u stil can, than regrtin l8r and getin a divorce ma frnd.
Pls my dear, I'll advice u to quit now.. cos frm wht u explain, ur man is being controlled by his family and will be easily manipulated by them... his family will not hesitate to replace u with another woman whn they get tired of u and ur man might not hv wht it takes to stand to ur defence.. unless u are willing to be a slave to his family for God knows how long usually until ur children are grown and can fight for u... no man is worth dat sacrifice, if he cant treat u like his queen and make sure his family respects u and ur family too.
My dear am facing same thing I wish my in laws had been mean b4 d marriage den I wld hv knwn hw 2 run, unfortunately de hid their colours till I tied d knot bt thank God ma hubby has got ma bk big time I for don kpeme, speak 2 ur fiancé if no impprovmnt pls run as fast as u can.
My dear am facing same thing I wish my in laws had been mean b4 d marriage den I wld hv knwn hw 2 run, unfortunately de hid their colours till I tied d knot bt thank God ma hubby has got ma bk big time I for don kpeme, speak 2 ur fiancé if no impprovmnt pls run as fast as u can.
IN ALL YOU FAILED TO MENTION UR FIANCE'S PART IN DIS DRAMA...THE FAMILY CAN CONTROL YOU WELLA IF THEY ALREADY CONTROL UR FIANCE!!! NO ONE CAN DECIDE FR U COS NA ONLY U GO DEH D MARRIAGE...
My dear am facing same thing I wish my in laws had been mean b4 d marriage den I wld hv knwn hw 2 run, unfortunately de hid their colours till I tied d knot bt thank God ma hubby has got ma bk big time I for don kpeme, speak 2 ur fiancé if no impprovmnt pls run as fast as u can.
Shut up!
My dear plz take a walk! Even if ur fiance stands by u now,wot abt d family....hmmm dey will do anytin possible 2 bring u down! Don't start a battle u can't finish....Gudluck!!
Shut up dr!I beg ur pardon!I'm a wife 2 d Onirus.Yes,dy might b ruling d world but dy dnt rule or maltreat dr wives. In my nxt world,ll want 2 b a part of dm again. Proudly Oniru
Same iiiish I'm in, can't stand my bfs family, dey always have stuff to cmplain about! Hey u dint call, hey u dint visit, hey ur dress is short, hey u giv ur family to much of ur time, jeeeeez I can literarily strangulate dem all, but I love my bf! Dey make me hate him wit every complain!
My dear, wen u see a masquared comin, wat do u do? Stand there looking or run? Pls run ooo. Dnt luk bak cos dat family wil only ruin u. I belive in luv but i aint takin s**t cos of it. I rest my case. Nexttt!!!
Shut up!
My dear,plz take a walk! Even if ur fiance stands by u now or even after marriage,ur inlaws will surely wud do anytin humanly possible 2 bring u down if u don comply 2 dia wishes....plz don't enslave urslf,it's not fun! Gudluck
My dear,please don,t start what you can,t finish,Let that family be for God Sake, a middle class man with peaceful background is good 2 go,If i must say i do not see a future if you go ahead with the marriage believe it or not they will surely turn you to slave because ur man is a fucking ajebuter mugu sowwie 2 say,Use ur number 6 well make your marriage no be like 9ja home video ooh.
WHO IS TALKING ABOUT LEARNING TO LOVE HIS FAMILY WEN THEY R FULL OF HELL, AS FAR AS IM CONCERN MY DEAR TAKE A VERY BIG WALK.
THE BIBLE SAID A MAN WILL "LEAVE" HIS FAMILY, SAME GOES TO D WOMAN AND BOTH SHALL BECOME "ONE".
MARRIAGE WAS NEVER MEANT FOR FAMILY MEMBERS TO INTERFERE.
AM MARRIED FOR 3YRS NOW, HONESTLY I CANT TAKE IT.
Ur beautiful sister?*2 small*Biko,wr u see her pics..who told u she's small or beautiful?Ode!!Or Linda,na her pics u display so?4 ur mind,u don comment abi.abegii!
My dear am facing same thing I wish my in laws had been mean b4 d marriage den I wld hv knwn hw 2 run, unfortunately de hid their colours till I tied d knot bt thank God ma hubby has got ma bk big time I for don kpeme, speak 2 ur fiancé if no impprovmnt pls run as fast as u can.
My dear ask questions from anyone who has married into that home be it male or female, also if he is the only son, please sit down n talk with ur man n lay ur fears on the table, if he promises to stand up to them or support u then u can give it a try but if he sounds defensive please use the closest door n leave cuz u will only get married to a puppet n that's a recipe for a broken home. It's not worth it.
Wat h as 2 say?is dt yoruba *H* factor or wat?
my dear it all depends on what your man thinks about his family's attitude if he supports them 100% then walk away cos that means it will be them you are marrying not him. but if he is the kind that puts them in their place and does not follow all their biding then u can take the risk.But i will advise you to sit him down and have a long talk with him about how you feel if he doesn't think you are making sense give him time to think about it you can postpone the wedding if he doesn't change his mind move on babe a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. When i married my husband for the 1st 2 years in my marriage every major decision in my house was always passed tru mommy and mommy's decisions prevailed for 2yrs in my home until i stood my grounds and spoke wisdom into my husbands mind and soul now its just the two of us and the holy spirit that take decisions in my home BLISS!
I believe the family means well but I have concerns about the belittling questions you wrote your dad was asked.NOBODY DESERVES TO BE BELITTLED NO MATTER HOW POOR HE OR SHE IS.On the other hand, if you love your fiance, you must love his family too no matter how they are. Many rich people do not like their daughter-in-laws to work bwecause they want to aavoid infidelity. We all know what many married women do on the jobs nowadays. All the best.
Dont walk. RUN!!!
Then confront you man with your challenge and stop dieing in slience
If your man isn't asserting himself enough to get them off your personal life even now that you guys are courting, sweetheart DO NOT WALK OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP; RUN OUT!! You can't teach a man how to be. even if you do, he'll learn to make you happy but in the long run HE IS THE MAN HE IS!!! Aburo RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN
My dear, God is just telling you what to do. Leave them, its not worth it. Marrying that guy is setting yourself up for a lifetime of war and pain with his family!! Run!!!
Hmmm
Am going through something similar. In my own case, my family is the one that is controlling and manipulative. Even after we drew the lines, instead of realizing their mistakes, they turned my inlaws into their best friends, now having the inlaws gang up on us to do whatever they want us to do. Money is evil. Imagine us going through this from my side of the family. The only saving grace is that my husband and I have good jobs so we can speak up. But speaking against the matriarch, has made them class is as wayward children. Be thankful that ur family has not be bought yet by pretence or manipulations.
Na by force to marry? Mbanu. check am well. Your life or the money? Na your hand e dey
This sounds like Buki.. why didnt you tell the LIBers that you decided to get pregnant to trap him? If you cant stand his mother you better go back to your mothers house. Park well and face the music you composed for yourself.. Rubbish sorry excuse for a woman.
Dey will so frustrate u Dat even d love u have for their son will begin too fizzle out ESP if he's d type Dat loves his family in quote. There's more to. Marriage Dan just ur love, family is key too. If u decide to stay,u shld knw uneasy lies. D head Dat wears d crown. ...
Dey will so frustrate u Dat even d love u have for their son will begin too fizzle out ESP if he's d type Dat loves his family in quote. There's more to. Marriage Dan just ur love, family is key too. If u decide to stay,u shld knw uneasy lies. D head Dat wears d crown. ...
Same thing happened to me, but since i walked out on everthing, the guy has been traveling up and down begging.. a leopard wont change its skin... move on with your life... people like that dont change.... they can beg you now... but in 5 years you will be back to status quo
My dear u shuld think twice b4 u take any decision. Marrying d guy u have totally married d family. I think ur guy don't really have a say in d family his a guy dat listen to his family more. Dat mean u are in big troblue entring dat family. Richness is nt every thing. My only advice to u just pray very well about it and u will find a solution to it. U re d one inside it and only u can solve ur problem.don't look at is money why making any decision but think of ur happiness first.
If you cannot contain the situation now, you definitely won't be able to contain it when you marry him. They question you even up to what you wear? Ask your father belittling questions? Quite serious. They tell you to quit your job after marriage? What has your fiancee said to all these? Talk to him about it and if he says there is nothing he can do, call it off, though it may not be easy since you love him. Else, they'd clip you completely and it'll be too late to regret.
My dear,please don,t start what you can,t finish,Let that family be for God Sake, a middle class man with peaceful background is good 2 go,If i must say i do not see a future if you go ahead with the marriage believe it or not they will surely turn you to slave because ur man is a fucking ajebuter mugu sowwie 2 say,Use ur number 6 well make your marriage no be like 9ja home video ooh.
discuss it with him first, see how he handles his mother's decision, but from what you have said nobody is able to stand up to his mum. infact sef all this one is long talk. RUN AWAY!!! what sort of stupid controlling attitude is that, even having the audacity to summon your father to her house. nonsense
If you are sure without a doubt that ur man won't be controlled by his family, then you are good. If he is not man enough to challenge his family and/or defend you then you have a problem. Caz the truth is there isn't a thing you can do about the family situation and u certainly don't want them hating you.
Cure for HIV pls!!!
My dear, if you can't cope with your man's family, then it's best to walk away now and save yourself a world regret and eventual resentment of your man after getting married to him. Moving abroad won't even change anything- trust me, I'm going through the same nonsense- I put my foot down too late and currently I'm not on speaking terms with any of my in laws. Not that I care what they think or say about me. If you know you can't stomach any of it- walk away to freedom.
My dear pray over it, and consult your fiance before making any decision,marriage is not somting u walk in and walk out. Your happiness matters more than any other thing.
I agree with some of the comments here. My #1 advice to you is to pray about the whole situation. Ask God to silence your fiance's family, grant you absolute favor in their sight. Also, speak to your man about it and see what he does about it. If he really loves you, he will put his foot down against his meddling family. Now if he does nothing about it, he's a weakling, know that he won't protect you when his family come troubling, in that case I can say run, unless you're sure you can go through hell for the sake of love. Another way to solve this is to marry the man and sweet tongue/ sweetly convince him to move far far far away from the meddling family members. Overall, prayer changes everything and a positive attitude can win some of them over.
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baby girl love cant be the only pltform for marriage..marriage is a life affair.walkin out isnt an easy option and stayin put isnt any better..so my advice turn to GOD and let him be your only confidant..God will not give you more than wat u can handle..let GOd be a Light unto your path and a lamp unto your feet.God knows all rather than turning to ma..men fail but God never fails..stay happy :)
ma dear, if u are a fighter nd d guy can fight for u,go ahead.but if u cannot, just quit.
RUN
The whole issue actually depends on ur fiance,is he ready to stand against any rubbish for u? Or is he too scared of his family?,
swt hrt, pls talk to ur man about it, b4 u run.cuz once u marry him, u marry the family ok.my elder sis is a victim to this ur own story n she is regreting it.linda pls post my comment!
First of all u pray abt it,talk to ur man and if their is nothing he can do then u hv to run.inlaws can really be pain in the ass if u allow them.but u hv said it all.noone dare questions her.marriage is a life time thing.pls pray
The fact that they have even said you'll quit your job after the wedding is all the red flags you need sweety... even if your man stands up for you, if you are not at peace with his family, they'll still find many ways to frustrate you! he wont always by your side>> Think! oh, one more thing, if you decide to walk away, make sure you tell them "GO FUCK YOURSELVES" and then slam the door HARD! i'm out!
.......Brittany.......
I beliv itz his money u love, actually.
Ps take a walk my dear, or else you will regret it.
Pls run. For a family that does not respect your family. Ur deeginitely going to face a lot of insult. Marriage is not a bed of roses nt to talk of a troublesome family and a non supportive husband
You better kick that guy and his family out of your life before its too late.
pls dear, d place dat u are useing d rest of ur life,u surpose 2 check d place very well b4 u put head .pls b wise or u surfer 4 life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*screaming at the top of my voice* RUN GIRL, RRRUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!
all these ones telling you to manage will not be there to hold you when it starts, the truth is that, God always shows us those signs early but most times, we ignore it and get in anyway. don't let that be your portion. leave now that u haven't said "i do". yes, your heart may be crashed but it'll be mended by the comforter and God will send you your Isaac! don't settle with Ishmael and the crap that comes with it.
~a word is enough for the wise, she who has ears, let her hear~
My dear talk to ur fiancée abt the issue and see wat grounds he takes after dat u will kw were u stand cos marraige is much much more dan jx love
Oga sit put and wait time is everything, all you need to do is impress them but mind you your best is not enough until ITS ENOUGH.....Just be patience okay
CRAZY GAL,WHAT ARE UWAITING 4.......U WON KILL URSEF
Gbam
You should come swap positions with my wife. She desperately wanted to marry into a rich family with a set up like that.
Ma dear every woman prays for fruit of the womb, but God answers all in different time zone. Imagine not getting preg ontime after wedding, with dis ur inlaws u av lost. try to think of the CONS oo, PROS are very minor. pls leave dis guy. there is nothing to talk to him about. Seriously wat do u expect him to say, "babe u can go if u don't love me" or "don't worry I will go check mom" even the luxury u r milking on, is from the so-called parents. sooo guess wat?
Now is the right time for you to quit the relationship. Money without happiness is worse than hell. Expect more or worse than what you experience in your relationship also in your marriage - T.D Jakes. Happiness (good home) supersedes everything but from your story, this home will never give you that. wakeup
Cal it off if ur husband can't chalenge in some decision.
too much drama!
obyazike.blogspot.co.uk
My dear,u better use ur head well.marriage and courtship ar two diff things. Haltogether!does dis guy really love u to stand by u all d way or ur love for him higher dan his own?those ar d questions u need to ans before embarking on d marriage
I can only see two possible options
1: Move abroad with your guy to a country where it would be difficult for them to visit
2: Run for your life
I can see d@ d foundation of your brain was laid wif chocolates n now it's sinking....
I can see d foundation of your brain was laid with chocolates and now it's sinking.
my dear, am even going thru one right nw dat their mum is the almighty in their home n my husband had no sey of his own. Al advise had to come from d mum or sisters... Even d last child in d family can change my husband's decission! Am abt leaving d marriage nw cos really i cnt coupe anymore... If these pple are rich, then u will sey i did oju kokoro... Bt these family re not near average ooo!!! so my dear, DON'T EVEN THINK ABT IT OOOO... My advice is DON'T
Well said.
My dear run 4 ur lyf
My dear run 4 ur lyf
Hmmmm..... I had a similar experience..... It was even more horrible than yours. My mother in law took out time to find all my exes, but thank God all of them were very intelligent and every ladies dream. It was my husband I spoke with. He is very strong. He stood up very tall for my family and I. I also spoke to God...l. I prayed till I saw changes. When I was sure my husband had broken lose off his family's chain.... We got married. It's been 6 wonderful years and three adorable kids....I couldn't have made a better choice.
My dear sister... If your husband to be can stay strong enough to shield you all.... Then u can carry on. Also talk to God till He speaks back to you. The lord is your strength..... One thing though, don't lie to yourself, if you don't see him as a strong person, now is the time to move away...All the best.... Love.... PSB
U are yet to c d worst frm his family!wait till ur 2legs are into d family,dey will make u wat dey want u to be!my dear!notin worts taking ur peace of mind n freedom!if ur guy is d type dat dances to their tone,den u must hv a retink abt dis marrige o
Hmmmm..... I had a similar experience..... It was even more horrible than yours. My mother in law took out time to find all my exes, but thank God all of them were very intelligent and every ladies dream. It was my husband I spoke with. He is very strong. He stood up very tall for my family and I. I also spoke to God...l. I prayed till I saw changes. When I was sure my husband had broken lose off his family's chain.... We got married. It's been 6 wonderful years and three adorable kids....I couldn't have made a better choice.
My dear sister... If your husband to be can stay strong enough to shield you all.... Then u can carry on. Also talk to God till He speaks back to you. The lord is your strength..... One thing though, don't lie to yourself, if you don't see him as a strong person, now is the time to move away...All the best.... Love.... PSB
D earlier d better,cos wit all dis description,u wee eventually leave...let's bet it.if d guy cnt evn manage to hide all ds family flawz now,be rest assured u aint seen shit!!The matriach go still ask u how many rounds una dey knack per day....Anuofia Matriach
There are certain things you need to clarify before taking a decision.on whose side is your fiance?If you're SURE he'll stand by always then take the risk but if not talk to him about your fears and listen to his response.Weigh him by his options to see if you will still remain with him.best of luck.
wow ! ! I used to fink this kinda family only exist in movies...
U gats to give ur guy ultimatum, dats if he respects ur opinion.. A guy who cannot live without his father's wealth and who always allows someone else to make decisions for him aint fit to get married.. u will jes continue this weird lineage.. If he does not accept ur ultimatum, walk away... If he loves and care for u, he will damn all consequences. But the simplest thing to do is run run and run... May God help ya
There are certain things you need to clarify before taking a decision.on whose side is your fiance?If you're SURE he'll stand by always then take the risk but if not talk to him about your fears and listen to his response.Weigh him by his options to see if you will still remain with him.best of luck.
Girl quit dat, if u don't, i bet d worst is yet to come. dey will rub shit in ur face as soon as u marry dat guy.
Be careful....make d wise decision....its ur life we r talking aby here! But above all u hv to love his family! Read Amazing Gists HERE
I can see d foundation of your brain was laid with chocolates and now it's sinking.
Pls sum of u libers ar really annoying,if u dnt ve any advice for d young lady pls dnt comment @all. Insulting her is nt d best. Ms joi
Honestly...modernized house maid!!! U will always be in their mercy.
They will expect u to tell wateva it is u r doing...every goddamn thing. My dear its a huge challenge...am in one now but I thank God so far. I dn't think u should go in because wen u'll eventually want to behave d way u r, u tend to quarrel with everyone. So my dear think abt it. This kind of family sef d guy may nt even have a say especially with the fact dat the parents r rich.
This kind of parents put their children under dem instead of d kids being above.
Sister like I said am in one now and its not funny so I dn't advise u do dis atleast u noticed it on time. U won't have peace of mind for as long as dey r alive except God's intervention.
So think abt it.
Dear change is a constant variable and prayer is d key. Bcos of d love u ha e for d guy just pray for God to grant u favour in dat family and Pray that God should use u to let the family to no that wealth is vanity. Pls don't run away. Daniel did not run away frm Babylon even when d king insist that they must eat his food that he has already sacrifices to idol. Read d book of daniel and pick courage. All thos people advising u to run or call it off. Just take ur guy and tru him up u will see that they will b d first to pick him. Pls don't mind them some will advice u to live and when u are gone d will go and take ur place.
you r nt only gettin married to d guy,,but also d family,,xo if u nor u cnt cope wit d family den bck out of d relationship
Pls disappear quickly.....u're not married to them yet they are already doing all these,,its even insultive for them to summon your dad,,,,it should be the other way round,,,,pre-wedding meetings are held in the bride's father's house and at his own convenience......do not ridicule urself and ur parents by enslaving urself to a so-called wealthy family!!!
Women have come to far in history to allow something like this to be happening in the 21st century. You have your own apirations and goals , and non of those should be given up mearly because your husband comes from a prominent family because you are marrying him to be your husband not your accountant and financial advisor. If the man you married was not of this status, you would not have thought of giving up your aspirations and career, so this should be no different. you need to seriously talk to your husband and let him know how these things will break your marriage. You need to make it very clear to him and then sit down with the family so that theyve heard you once and for all. Dont be combative but be clear. If your husband does not listen, then theres no point getting married, your signing off to matrimony not prison and such a marriage seems like a prison. however, if he listens and understands then it would make all the difference when talking to the family. Youre husbands family one day had choices that got them to where they are today, theres no reason why you can not have the same choices to do what you want with your life as long as it never comes before your children or your love for your husband.Money cant buy everything and it certainly can not by you or your goals. I wish you the best and hope that you do what is right for you!
RUN.....
Is their son Jesus Christ? Dear, the only way to handle this is to have a heart to heart talk with your man, and lay all your concerns on the table. Make your demands if he truly loves you and wants to marry you. As a woman, we have more power than we think, you just have to find a way to also be 10 steps ahead of his family and be very smart about it. Again, make your demands and he will listen to you and even stand up to his family for you...that is if he truly wants to be with you. BE FEARLESS GIRL!
How u take kno say na oniru family.
Babe abeg go see babalawo...... Linda abeg post my comment na which one be ur own self...
My dear RUN n never look back,some yoruba families n their wahala,even if ur guy stands by u today,I tell u it won't last cos he would ALWAYS go back to his family,its typical of them,don't put urself into a life time regret,there r other guys(better)out there.
The rule in a relationship typically is that each person manages their own family members to avoid being disrespectful in any way.
If your fiance sees you being disrespected by his family but hasn't manned up to put his family in check, then your issue is with your fiance and not his family.
As some point, we all have to grow up and stop being treated like children by our parents.
My dear it is a life of misery thatt awaitts you if you marry that man. They are even already telling you to quit your job - so that they can really control you.
It's not how much you love your fiancee, but rather how prepared he is to stand up for you and from all you've said; he's not ready at all!
Pray over it! And all the best.
if this guy really loves you, then I think he should consider your feelings about his family, and do something fast if he really wants to settle down with you. but if the young man is nonchalant about his family's drama then my dear you need a man that has a life cos dats no life.
All u guys r saying is, "RUN BABY GIRL RUN!". Will you (adviser) marry the son of these " Tatchers" if she absconds his plan? But you said you love him, while his family is your problem....are you sure you really love him? I cant imagine all these folks who could not keep a relationship for just two months, advising someone on this context. My dear you know the truth; if you really love the dude like you said the family will not be a problem at all. They will see that eventually & accept you after everything. I think they see that you love his money, thus have to scrutinize you to find your motive. His Mama sniffs your motive to be deadly & that's the reason 4 all these whore-tests & hoe-revealing interviews. So let your love get him to fight for you two, as you endure the family...that's if you are telling us the truth that you truly love him! Shekina! #weresoyinka#
JESUS! #weresoyinka#
Dear....; as much as it lies on you to pray..., God has shown you all the signs you need to see; its your decision to choose either Life or Death...
Choose Life that you might live..., people will says things (rubbish) but the most important thing is that you are at peace with your self
WALK AWAY ASAP
since your gut is telling you no, do not do it. Do not go into something you will be frustrated.
All u guys r saying is, "RUN BABY GIRL RUN!". Will you (adviser) marry the son of these " Tatchers" if she absconds his plan? But you said you love him, while his family is your problem....are you sure you really love him? I cant imagine all these folks who could not keep a relationship for just two months, advising someone on this context. Girl you know the truth; if you really love the dude like you said the family will not be a problem at all. They will see that eventually & accept you after everything. I think they see that you love his money, thus have to scrutinize you to find your motive. His Mama sniffs your motive to be deadly & that's the reason 4 all these whore-tests & hoe-revealing interviews. So let your love get him to fight for you two, as you endure the family...that's if you are telling us the truth that you truly love him! Shekina! #weresoyinka#
This dude is just a fool. Like seriously? Speechless. Am new to dis blog and bin watchn his comments cos i wonder why pple always pick on him. Needless to say he is such a daftie. Gooosh!
Baby girl, RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE! If not, your life will be miserable till you die! Just my own advise!
Do dis people have any influence I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ anyway on ur fiance? If they do, then Ʊ'r I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ trouble but if they don't then, Ʊ can stil cope wit d situation as long as ur husband stands by you. Why wld they summon ur father on several occassions to ask him questions that'll belittle him? Its wa o! If I were Ʊ, I'll quit cos marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured. Let me tell Ʊ, money is not evrythn. Ur in-laws are too arrogant, sausy and domineering and this kind of people can make Ʊ forget ur own family if care is not taken. Obviously, ur sister in-law is not on ur side for saying nonesense to Ʊ, ur mother-inlaw is ready to show case her power on Ʊ. Hw can she ask d Doctor to examine Ʊ? Babe, check A̶̲̥̅̊♍ well o and tell urself d truth b4 Ʊ end up I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ life-long misery. I pray they won't throw Ʊ out of d house one day. Ʊ better start running for ur dear life before dem give Ʊ High Blood pressure and turn Ʊ to a̶̲̥̅̊ woman of sorrows. Now tell me thank Ʊ!
Abegi! It isn't because of money. I'm in a similar situation and the guy isn't so rich. She loves the guy.
She is confused as i am.
u deserve whatever you get with this man
Swthrt! I can imagine hw hurt ulld feel walking away, considerin hw long u guys av dated buh sincerely dats d best option. All dey r displayin r signs and hints to wat d future holds. Pls encourage urself, be a strong, intelligent and independent lady and take a walk. So dat u won't miss d real man God has kept for u. Lots of love from pearl.
My dear first tok wif ur fiance n kw his stand in all dis, den u act according 2 his ans. Mind u if he is lyk"dnt wori it will b fine". My dear na Run! Run! Run! Gud luck wif ur decision.
BIG FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!
My dear if the family dont like you or see something good in you, the would have trown u out since not to talk of marriage...it means the find you worthy to be part of them...they do like you, but its just that you are not just use to the money ego thing....focus on ur guy...play along with the family,,,,,after all his parents are ur elders...respect..
WALK AWAY SHARP SHARP!!!
it's sick to be that a wife to be, will come to Linda for this kind of advice. You're not ready to be a wife.
Na wa o- you know the family is controlling and you are sick of them yet you are still asking whether you should stay or go? Oya, carrying on staying with the man and presumably look forward to a life of imprisonment!
Na longerthroat way send Tolotolo enter cooking pot.
Follow your gut feeling gurl....But if you were my daughter, I will order you to call the bluff of that fucked up family....nansense!
Babes, all we have is your end of the story. We don't know the kind of person you truly are. Then again, these so called fake arse elites can be so annoying! To think they have the most of ill mannered kids of both sexes. But they try to restrict their kid's spouses. If your intentions are sincere and you also do not have skeletons in your cupboards and you are really being treated unfairly...please quit. Should you search yourself however,and find that you are the problem...either you are also marrying the guy for the wrong reasons or for fame and money,... Really,it's your wish,I won't tell you to quit. I ll rather advise that you hang in there and take whatever is thrown at u cos babey,u asked for it! Babey, be sincere with yourself..... And, PRAY! All the best. I had the chance of marrying rich and famous guys but I chose none of them. I settled for a normal guy that promised me not money nor fame but an interesting life...and he is sure delivering! He takes my side with his family even when im at fault but scolds me later. . . now,that who i call a man! We have a cute son and I'm happy! Life ain't about fame and money...which won't travel
Life's longest journey with us. Our priorities differ, set yours!
pls leave now u hv d chance b4 u make a mistake of ur life time. wen u are gettn married to a man u are also marryn his family. it is beta 2 leave now or say had i known in furture my dear.
My dear,even if your guy is a man of his own and can stand is ground against his family cos of you, dat might be detrimental even to you on the long run. Its not as if dia's any perfect inlaw any where buh with the way you've described dem i don't think you can cope.
Buh if you love your guy much(ofcourse love alone is not enough to make a r/ship work),why not seek more advice from any woman married into the same family on how she's coping. If what you hear suits u,then stay. If not, then a broken r/ship is far better than an unhappy one#justmyopinion#
If ur fiance doesnt oppose their behaviour nw,he wunt wen u gt married....so nne walk away!!
I suggest you stay out of kitchen if you can't stand the heat! The parents have made the kids attractive enough for you to like them... if you can't like all of them including their short comings, then make way let someone who would love them wholly come in... Ladi
Every one here is telling her to back off while u guys have not consider the love involve expect she dnt truly love this guy in question, most of the ladies here are getting more than this in their relationship nd their still there simply because of the love both of them share. So please my people dnt advice someone to do wht u kn u can not do if ur in her shoe as for u my dear if you people are madly in love I dnt think u will be asking fr help because LOVE is all that matter's
when you marry a man....it is his family you marry. If they have done all these things even before the wedding....be sure to expect worse things. Yes, you love your man but his family does have a way of turning him against you if you don't suck up to them like they want. In the end you loose. Run as fast as you can... once you get married there is no going back.
Lovely reply Bona.
pls dear run as fast as you can, dts not a kind of life that is worth living nd marriage is a lifetime issue so you either live with it forever or say no and be happy. and the guy in question if he can't control his family now he can Neva Eva..... so decries make hay while the sun shines
What are you still waiting for?!? It never gets better with people like that. If the dude will protect you when you are married to him then you should see the signs in him from now; protecting you at all times and stopping his mum/family from interfering in your relationship with him.....if he's not doing that then you are soo on your own my dear!
you better fine your way because all they want is to put you in a cage and lock you up.
Odikwanma at all??? U r really abnormal
How you and your fiancé react now will set the tone for how things will be in the marriage.
If you already submitted yourself for e family doctor t examine you now, best believe they will be ordering periodic exams for you in the future. If you (and your fiance) don't stand up for yourself now, they will walk all over you in the future. No need to be rude, just know where to draw the line with their intrusions.
You are the only one who knows whether u will stay or walk away
pls rum while u can now or u wudnt b able 2 do that when u are married
Run, very fast..else
Run run run!!!! That is all I have to say. Thanks.
My dear from experience I will advice u run for your life. I ve been married for six years now.Controlling and wicked in laws is the worst thing that can happen to any woman! As I type this now my stupid in laws have convinced my husband to marry another wife just because I refused to play by their rules. For the past 6 years i ve been thru hell, living in bondage in my own home.They ve totally turned my husband against me, am literally having suicidal thoughts. Please be wise, don't make same mistake. I wish somebody sat me down and gave me this advice six years back.
girl, RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life in this kind of bondage, really?
Why should u run?? Girlfiend better grow some cojones and start fighting for your marriage! Be tough and take the fight to them! tell your dad NOT to run when they call, he shouldnt even answer the phone and return the call 2 days later...sorry he was busy, finish! When they ask you to do a test, say NO! Stand your bloody ground! Tell your hubby too! He will respect you for it. Tell him to tell his mama to stop the intimidation and meddling. If it carries on you will stop the wedding, simples! The thing about women is yall never speak, you should be having this discussion with him not us! If you see that you cant win then call it off but don't go out without a fight. They are rich so they will always feel better than you and your fam until you start standing your own ground, then they will start to respect you. Besides this just sounds like an annoyance you can ignore or handle with skill and diplomacy, why call off a marriage to someone you love cos of this small thing?? With their connections use your brain and make yourself a big madam in your own right, they will have no choice but to respect you, money talks o. If you dont have the heart for such a fight then quit then.
The word is 'MOVE' this is slavery in its entire form. U can't be happy with this kind of relationship. Marriage is a life time commitment, so please think about your life n happiness. Don't waste time. I beg of you. May God help you.
Ode! Your parents are poor! Mines are rich!!!
Look, if you wan be your fiance family broom and rag na your palava be dat. But the one way dey pain me na the insult upon injury wey them hip for your papa head. Make i tell you any body wey do that kind thing for my papa, i go insult in past, present and in future then spit for in face b4 i wakka. Oloshi girl. Sitdown there make another family dey use your papa brush teeth. Useless girl. Leave your job. You know say wen you marry the rich family, after you don beg them for money to take care of yourself, den you go come plead with them make dem give you money wey you go send go your papa and mama as you don dump your job marry into rich family. You be small pikin sitdown there dey wait for LIB readers to give you advice. Sorry for yourself.
They even summoned ur dad over...r they doing ur fam a favour abi na u propose to d guy,Trust my fada *na who born d maga*?
Anonymous 1:13 it is thank! Olodo correcting someone else.
Ode!
You know the lady with the story?
If na poor family u go dey ask?
Bad in laws will make your life hell. And this your lovely man will turn to big zombie.
I woulda told you to stay but with the family calling your dad to ask hopeless questions, thatz a no no.
My dear! D only thing I'll advice u to do is to talk with ur man,tell him how u feel and how u want things to be.if he really loves u he won't side his mum,and he'll never let u go. Just tell him how u feel den if he doesn't understand den I guess u should just invite chioma ajunwa and run 4 ur life
My dear! D only thing I'll advice u to do is to talk with ur man,tell him how u feel and how u want things to be.if he really loves u he won't side his mum,and he'll never let u go. Just tell him how u feel den if he doesn't understand den I guess u should just invite chioma ajunwa and run 4 ur life
My dear, you do not need to run! You have to talk to your fiance and just tell him it's the thwo of you and no third party. As for the family, never back down! No matter how reach they are....i am experiencing the same thing but they respect me more as I do my own thing and always stand my ground...and remember, work and earn your living, don't lieve off them or your fiance....They will respect you more....do you own thing and don't accept things from them!
no one makes a choice 4 anyone u undastnd so make ur choice if he z ur destiny dn runing away iz meaningless cos u will end up single
no one makes a choice 4 anyone u undastnd so make ur choice if he z ur destiny dn runing away iz meaningless cos u will end up single
@Sunday Otun 2:01pm, thank you. if d bobo na from a poor family, i bet the bbe would have not even checked Linda Ikeji...lol, Mama Linda post my comments abet.
Don't you luv ur life? Suicide? Pls
Please stay and be thinking about it ...Stupid question
please no matter how much u love a person u can find love elsewhere marriage is not dependent on love but on happiness,do you want to get married and become unhappy because of all the pressure from his family? then the love u have for him will stop growing cos your unhappy so please walk out while u can or pray to God for direction.
and your father went?
Gurl, i would advise u to back out. it's never too late to call it quit. But if you know that's the kind of life u want for urself go ahead.......... Best of luck
You should have gone for the concert yourself. That way you would have seen everything that happened, other than waiting for Linda to post it and being insulting too. Please go learn manners
hmmm.....yimu
gul pls run 4 ur life o!
In my own opinion tho I think Prayer is the key. God doesn't grant His kids wahala all in the name of inlaw
In my case my in laws were very controlling , I had always prayed for a mother in law because I threw myself into the family , they assumed I was desperate for their love , Awon eniyan jati jati , they started showing me , and my husband being too close to his mum could not talk .
As they are all very close , gradually I just learnt to ignore all of them , me ------ I don't see , hear , smell or feel them, when they come there is food plenty of it and I make them comfortable that's it oooo, to me they don't exist , I removed myself completely from them emotionally , if you no tell me say you born wetin concern me , no phone calls , no visit , nothing .
When they had seen I no send they started being nice and I made it known to everyone that I was not going to take their nonsense again . As for hubby gradually he started realizing that I meant business and his family is important unlike before .
Now am on top of my game ooooo . My sister use your head if you decide to enter this marriage you must be very strong and focused no dulling , no mumu , don't be confrontational but know where to draw the line I beg you .
pls you just have to take hills, cos its going to be a tragedic one if u go ahead and u may end up ENDURING you marriage when you are meant to be ENJOYING you marriage
Sounds like your man is a puppet. Just walk away now cos u can't win if he can't stand up to protect u. Remember a lifetime could be a looooong time. Belittling your Dad is just unacceptable.
my Dear,u ve 2 black off d relationship oooo ,hear dis i va a gf who married 2 his rich so call family,d family control d marry,tell d hubby what 2 do & what not 2 do,after 3yrs of marry, she va 1 % half yr old son & 3 month baby d marry pack off, d lady is d one dt taking care of her kids,feeding,clothing,houseing & d rest,4 yrs now dt d hubby black off d marry he va no one day ask of dem, my sweet heart pls black off d marry,d good LORD dt we serve we bless u with ur heart desires hubby ijn amen
Run as fast as asafa powell...... That's not where you belong. It is well
FIBROID FLUSHER
Why are you asking us? Shey its money and the hype you want ba? Live with the consequences of your actions dear.
the only person that has sense out of these lib voltrons is bloglord.prince jobless,be mumu sha.who is talking about money.we r talking about domination ere.bt i no blame u,wetin small pikin know....oh babey,its better to have bad husband dan bad inlaws.nd trust me ur hubby wont be able to control it cos its been happening even before he was born.it wont stop on his account.2 options,run for ur life or go chop winsh.sister lindodo abeg post my comment
the only person that has sense out of these lib voltrons is bloglord.prince jobless,be mumu sha.who is talking about money.we r talking about domination ere.bt i no blame u,wetin small pikin know....oh babey,its better to have bad husband dan bad inlaws.nd trust me ur hubby wont be able to control it cos its been happening even before he was born.it wont stop on his account.2 options,run for ur life or go chop winsh.sister lindodo abeg post my comment
in any relationship be it marital or courtship if the man alwz goes bak to his parents and involves them in his own family issues my dear there are gonna be lots of problem.money cant buy you peace or happiness.if you stay cos of the money i hope u dont regret it eventualy.but go for happiness and peace notn can buy that.
My dear you have just three choices.
1. Dump the guy and run as fast as your legs will carry you.
2. Stay and let that family turn you into a freaking wreck.
3. Stay and spend the rest of your life fighting them with your husband also supporting them.
The choice, by jove is yours.
The day u will have sense will sha come. Didinrin
This Linda wry no dey like put up people comment. I dey vex.
is better u quit than going into fire.but u can still tell ur man and know his reaction, if it seems negative, pls backoff than going into hell while alive bc if u didn't dance in their tone deffinitly there will be an enemity btw u and d mum nd ie hell.
WHY DO YOU NEED LIB READERS FOR ADVICE. IF HE WAS FROM A POOR HOME WOULD YOU HAVE BOTHERED ASKING FOR ADVICE. MOREOVER ARE YOU STAYING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR FINACEE OR THE MONEY HIS MOTHER'S GOT.
QUESTION YOUR MOTIVES.
There is fire on the mountain.... please run for your life..... but if you know u have that grace to cope... just know that you are there at your risk...
Loving your husband will also make you love the family. God is love and to enter a love relationship, love God. Let God rule your heart in all decisions to take. In time of courtship, you are to talk with your fiance, talk about your fears with him, hear from him, take decisions together and decisions taken, take them to the Lord. There is no hard person that cannot be win over with Love and Prayers. Shallom
there are poor men whose families are equally domineering so put up with them enjoy and enjoy .think of yr future children they will attend the best of schs and u would have paid for the sarcifice.
there are poor men whose families are equally domineering so put up with them enjoy and enjoy .think of yr future children they will attend the best of schs and u would have paid for the sarcifice.
there are poor men whose families are equally domineering so put up with them enjoy and enjoy .think of yr future children they will attend the best of schs and u would have paid for the sarcifice.
Ma dear, the same tin happened to one of ma close friend jos last month were her husband is being controlled by his mum. Urs is even beta dat you are seeing the signs now. Ma friend's mother in law was all nicety for 2 years until she found that her son was giving more attention to his wife than he was to her. before you know it this woman started manipulating her son against his wife and then dey separated. Ma dear, if your guy can't stand for you now that u are not in yet, then he will neva stand for you in the future. Pray and ask the holy spirit for guidance as well.
You really don't have any sense
you are talking out of your asshole.
no need to walk away, FLEE!!!! dont listen to the people advising you to stay cos dey will not bear the pain with you. dont even consider giving it a second thogh becos of the money. you may not even live long to enjoy it.
My dear sister, the truth of this whole matter is that in marriage it's so important for you to have a good support system form your in laws, and if at this stage [ per wedding) you are having problems with the in laws. I think you shouldn't rush into this marraige because its a life time decision. Furthermore, one doesn't go into marriage to come out of it ! So therefore, pray and fast about this issue o. As for the wedding, please please do not rush into it, it's better that you call the wedding or engagement off than to go into a marraige and realize that you haven't met your soul mate.
When you meet your soul mate, everything will fall into place even your in laws will adore you. The worst thing you can have is for your in laws to disrespect you and your own family. My dear marraige is only by Gods Grace. Stay blessed
My dear, love is not enough to make a marriage work. What will happen in future if u marry him and u fall out of love like most couples do? Then, u'll finally understand the meaning of the proverb 'blood is thicker than water!'. You need his family on your side, if not all of them, at least some of them.
hmm rich people for rich people? poor for poor? thats absolute crap!
Happiness over money anyday!
if your fiancé cannot stand up for you now what will happen once your married?
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