Dear LIB readers: He isn't fine but can I manage him? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday, 9 November 2014

Dear LIB readers: He isn't fine but can I manage him?

From a female LIB reader
One of the things I look out for  when I consider when I am about to enter into any relationship is that the guy must be drop dead gorgeous because I love fine boys and I want to be able to date him and love him enough not to ever consider another man as fine. However I have not dated anyone in the last three years because the ones that have been coming my way are not that fine.
Anyway, there is this guy who my Pastor just introduced me to as she is worried about my single status being that I am old enough to be in my husband's house. The guy she introduced me to is tall, a Pilot, very Godly but the only thing is that he is not fine.
He says he wants to get serious with me and looks forward to us getting married but when I look at him, I don't want to look again because he isn't handsome. My girlfriends are saying I should just manage him and that I would develop the love for him as time goes by. The question is, would I ever be able to love him and can a woman really manage a man who isn't up to her own personal standard?

294 comments:

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Unknown said...

Babe u neva ready.....tall a pilot..

And godly...u go chop fine....find out if he has a good heart.....with time u will noticed it not all about d face....its about happinesss.....but shun...I won't force u...look at ur heart tk ur time...if u can't then go away....

benedict said...

You are a very big fool...bastard girl,is your father fine why can't you be contented like your mother, don't go and marry be waiting for fine boy till you reach menopause

Anonymous said...

You will regret it if u do.

Unknown said...

You go old

Anonymous said...

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorl.........@whn i luk at hm i dnt want to look again.PLZ i cant laff enof....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaa

elovi said...

Babe u better get sense ooo men are scarce na fine u won chop, if a man ain't handsome and he cares for you he does not beat, does not cheat why waste time! No be fine dem dey chop oooo if an ugly man can care for you love you like his own den marry him! Most fine guys misbehave a lot and tends to cheat so open ur eye before u select reach menopause!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You are very stupid to say that a man created by God is not fine..

Continue to stay single till 50+, a time you beg a MONKEY for marriage.

vic said...

i'm sure i wont look at you twice, and trust me i'm not handsome.

Anonymous said...

It's unfortunate that you are shallow minded, you are interested in beautiful casing which will fade overtime, also you must note that as long as u hv handsome bobo babes will trip for him and chase him so there will be constant competition.
I think you should love the character of a person and not physical attributes. At least you got several good packages with the guy as he is rich, tall and maybe dark.

Anonymous said...

The man no fine the man no fine, na so aunt nkechi take turn 40yrs... -_-

kuddy said...

Post your pix first lemme see how Fine u look first. U neva ready to marry. Ugly babe like u

kuddy said...

Post your pix first lemme see how Fine u look first. U neva ready to marry. Ugly babe like u

Emjay said...

U might d fine boy of ur choice but u will cry every nite,its not all about looks dear,wake up

#######LIB MY BADT HABIT#######

jasmine said...

Manage am naaa if e love u and u love am back plus say kudi dey o!. At least to argument the wor wor!lol

Livvsreamblog said...

Madam wait till u r 50years you will see fine boy,all this kinda story dey vex me,se na libers go decide for u?

Anonymous said...

U should get married cos ur of age u shouldn't marry cos of money. And ur not God so u can't say a person is not fine we are all unique in different ways some are physically fine some are fine inside and if I where u I will look for the what's inside than d outside

kunle said...

Better don't manage and follow your desire. Again, give it a little thought and allow friendship. Both of you might have same chemistry and love his personality. But Linda, this image is epitome of cute. Can't you find something better.

Kacy said...

U're waiting 4 a drop-dead gourgeous and breathtakingly handsome guy shey? Be patient, Jesus is coming soon.

Anonymous said...

Linda please I hope this picture isn't of someone real as it is not fair at all for people to now come and ridicule him for his looks when he hasn't done anything to anyone. If it's a real person please take it down or replace with cartoon character or obscured pic if you must

Unknown said...

Babe u don ask me fall ooo. As my hubby will say.
My advice to you would be that you list the 10 most important thing u need in a man in order if importance. And check for those he has. If looks beats most of his other qualities by far, my advice is don't. Cos u will end up regretting.
Remember u will wake up every morning to behold his face.
U might be getting angry unnecessarily looking at his face and that will surely affect ur marriage.

A friend ones told me that he would love to marry a gal that will be so fone that waking up to see her face each morning would be the highlight of his day.

Then again looks are not the most important thing in a relationship. The inner person is. So the question goes back to you.

ARE YOU WILLING TO WAKE UP TO THAT FACE EVERY MORNING?

WILL YOU LET IT AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR BAD?

If your answer is no, babe Abeg help urself no try am.

Anonymous said...

And this is how Sister Joan became 54yrs leaving 2 cats without a husband!

Richard was here and there!
P.s Giveaway Monday o! I yaff wait tire!!!

Anonymous said...

You know the answer already, so why bother asking again. And don't say you're confused cos you don't seem to be.
Follow your heart babe, and if that seem to be leading you astray or clouded, then use your brain.

Anonymous said...

Have u seen the reason y u r still single??? Wat if u r not destined to marry a fyn bobo LA hot. .wetin you wan do am...remain single???? Gud for u sha...d Wey u like to marry drop dead hot na em other woman like am ooo...so get ready to dey fight wif chikalasss

Kebrown said...

hey gal i think u shud go with whats on ur mind.. #lol Trust me, yhu go old ehen .. and beside its nt wah u want buh wah God wants 4 u.. except u ready to accept wah comes ur way

Anonymous said...

My lady you should only consider his sincerity and honesty if he cares much which matters a lot forget about his beauty or what ever you will gradually develop your love for him as long as you've being together and his been nice with you. your kids will follow your beauty so don't mind just go ahead and manage him as your friends advised.

Anonymous said...

Love is a thing of the Heart my dear, just follow ur instincts/Heart.

Anonymous said...

Beauty is in d eyez of the beholder.seek the face of God, god's will is d best not good choice. No time my sister get a life in marriage.

abujakenneth said...

Linda and her make belief stories. Well the man on the picture is fine after all beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

Anonymous said...

Ur question is as stupid as U!!!

Anonymous said...

My dear if Na d picture of the guy Linda use.., no marry am ooo. Dis one na frog no b prince

Unknown said...

all things bright and beautiful, if cant marry him leave him another person is waiting go grab him

Kukere said...

if u keep seeing every guy as ugly.. its the work of the devil.. no lol.. u need sanctification then men can be appealing to you!

and by the way, love works more than just looks..

Good luck

Anonymous said...

If na em lINDA display so u r OYO

Anonymous said...

U fit gimme hin numba if u no want.....

Anonymous said...

Then remain single for the rest of your life. Handsome my foot.......long hissssssss

Anonymous said...

did you say he is a pilot... bia can i get his number while u are still thinking if u can manage him or not.. ewu gambia

Unknown said...

Marriage isn't about handsomeness.. Have you even prayed to God if he's the right man for your life? That's the most important thing and not whether he's handsome or not

Anonymous said...

Ur papa keep man 4 house

Anonymous said...

Na person pikin u wan manage?

Anonymous said...

You need to grow up, love is not abt looks. You are vain, beauty fades. What happens if u marry a fine guy and he's involved in a fire accident accident and sustains burns that disfigures his face. You will abandon him abi? Don't let ur shallow mindedness be the start of ur misery

Unknown said...

Chai! Meaning! there are bendable standards but with this picture, I can't bend o even if na dangote's pikin

Anonymous said...

Dear lady,

This is for you:

Gen. 2:21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

When your husband finally arrives, you will be completely satisfied with even his flaws. Please be patient, your friends will not live with you both after your marriage, you will face it alone, please continue to wait on the Lord.

sexy eve said...

This one no follow at all

Emdos Supernova said...

Some people are so dumb to so think they can just come up with anything just to play with one's intelligence abeg how old are u sef poster. Your pastor wants u to marry so na we go marry am for u abi. Mtcheww

Anonymous said...

Follow ur hear,
linda...this picture u put is not smiling ooo...i just had to comment bcos of it...hhahahahha

Unknown said...

Okay u said u ve been single for the last 3yrs ryt if u were also as fine as you make use believe fine boys would be rolling in now so from my point of view dont over estimate your self u ar prob not as fine as ur friends have made you believe

Anonymous said...

My dear I understand one thing in marriage is not all about looks is what is inside...am a guy I love slim pretty ladies but in getting to who to settle down with I realise its not all about looks. ...even bible didn't say we should marry who we love, it says love who you marry...knw it that marriage is a lifetime thing so be wise and pray to God about it..k

JOYCHY said...

My Opinion on dis - personally a man mustn't be drop dead gorgeous but d thing is I must like wat I see first b4 I go in 2 personality/attitude/character etc. & all dat. My dear if u can't deal with d physical, trust me when ever u look at his face, u wld get pissed. as much ur getting old dat shldn't make u settle 4 a face u wldn't like 2 see on daily basis.

At d same time don't be too choosy. we all hv our kind of spec in our heads but sometimes we need 2 cut dwn on d excesses. A good guy who is gud looking but nt necessarily so oooo handsome with d right attitude/personality/values etc is cool.

Enigma said...

Babes are u ok? u said u got a pilot thats GOD FEARING and u talking about fine. what happened with all them fine boys u dated in the past? did their handsomeness make them stay with u for ever? my dear, physical beauty/handsomeness doesnt make a successful marriage, beautiful and kind souls do.Pray to God for direction

JOYCHY said...

My Opinion on dis - personally a man mustn't be drop dead gorgeous but d thing is I must like wat I see first b4 I go in 2 personality/attitude/character etc. & all dat. My dear if u can't deal with d physical, trust me when ever u look at his face, u wld get pissed. as much ur getting old dat shldn't make u settle 4 a face u wldn't like 2 see on daily basis.

At d same time don't be too choosy. we all hv our kind of spec in our heads but sometimes we need 2 cut dwn on d excesses. A good guy who is gud looking but nt necessarily so oooo handsome with d right attitude/personality/values etc is cool.

Unknown said...

I af died oooo...lmao

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahaha Nne y do I just love u en?very good answer

Anonymous said...

Very flippant comments on here. Get to know him and see if you develop affection for him that will make you overlook the fact that he is not fine. If you're not attracted to him don't be with him. Your skin will crawl whenever he gets intimate with you. Marriage is not child's play.

Anonymous said...

i married handsome husband but d only problem of our marriage is that he's womanize, girls keep on seduce him evn wen he's beside me, think deeply!!!!! Linda pls post oooo

Anonymous said...

This is the best advice thank you

Anonymous said...

Babe,wen a man starts to abuse u n d violence starts trust me his 'good looks' will fizzle out,im nt saying u shd go 4 monkey banana oh bt be wise,all u need is a man who'll be ur pillar n support system abi?God help u

Eagle Eyes Media said...

I agree with you completely. Best advice.

Anonymous said...

It's marriage we're talking about here...my dear you're the only one that would be there in the next 10, 20 years it's for the rest of your life..you might end up regretting if you marry to manage. or cause of money it might finish, marry someone you love and would over look all his odd tho looks shldn't be the only thing you look for but if you don't love him don't marry him..Pray to God for your own and he will answer be patient and prayerful..tho u might think you are old but if u marry cause of that you might hate urself or end up cheating..God will guide you and answer you..so pray hard dear

Anonymous said...

huummmmm you re looking for drop dead gorgeous?? huuh? okay oooo.. all I'd tell u is dat every girl desires a guy who's very handsome nd good looking but I'm very sure he's nt dat ugly... if he's presentable, den no problem @ all..... but all d same jst go to God in prayers nd ask him to direct u.. simple!

Anonymous said...

I was also in d same shoes with u, my dear he is so ugly,his fashion life is poor and not in anyway was he my level aside d fact dat he was brilliant. The only thing that makes me to love him later was his Christian life which give me peace of life. Fine boy isn't d answer but peace of mind in marriage is d correct answer.

KWEEN said...

God bless you for this Comment. And I know that some mindless entities will surely attack me for this but i'll still say it. Most men out there are looking for girls who are beautiful, with big boobs and ass, well educated, , natural hair, flawless skin, independent or with a wealthy and well Connected dad. But they expect ladies to settle for just any man who comes their way. They will insult ladies who say they do not want a man who is ugly but they themselves run away from ugly girls! Why is it okay for men to be picky but not okay for women to do the same? In my opinion, no woman should settle for just any man because she feels she's getting old or because people are putting pressure on you to marry. It is not you and them that will live in that marriage! If you feel you can't love him and can't live with him, then do not compromise your own happiness to please people. And lastly, pray and ask for God's guidance. All the best dear.

blueprincess said...

God bless u for this. Dear ladies, marriage is for ever, never settle for wat u deserve. Its better to gt married at d age of 35 and b happy for ever dan get married at d age of 25 to d wrong person nd live in sorrow forever. Divorce is not good. B wise.

Segun Ebenezer said...

Lol...if na her pics be this,I swear na 2 runn 440 oh.

Anonymous said...

my dear this is a rather tough one. while i belief there should be physical attraction, it is not every thing. i am also concern about your likes,tastes, & happiness. it is really a personal decision please dont let anybody cajole you to do what you dont like. however i want you to consider the divine guidance in this situation. if the man is beautiful in his heart, the outward appearance may count for nothing. let the will of god be done.

Anonymous said...

Lmaooooo ur response is epic i swear

Anonymous said...

my dear this is a rather tough one. while i belief there should be physical attraction, it is not every thing. i am also concern about your likes,tastes, & happiness. it is really a personal decision please dont let anybody cajole you to do what you dont like. however i want you to consider the divine guidance in this situation. if the man is beautiful in his heart, the outward appearance may count for nothing. let the will of god be done.

Unknown said...

Nd u re pretty i guess bt cannot speak good english

Bolatito said...

linda, what sort of picture is this now.. so hilarious... anyways, good looks stand as a very important criteria cos of ur children.. you dont wanna start giving birth to not so fine children(monkeys)... but if ure convinced hes the one, go ahead...

Anonymous said...

Linda i know say na you da tin happen to no but worry me no ugly i be Canadian citizen fine single man so no fear you gat best choice here
dont be shy instead of you settling for the worst rather you come to the best
bittertruth85@yahoo.com

Barry9ice said...

@Neekee abeg no kill me with laff here, if she give u d man nos, waitin u go take am do?

Bolatito said...

linda, what sort of picture is this now.. so hilarious... anyways, good looks stand as a very important criteria cos of ur children.. you dont wanna start giving birth to not so fine children(monkeys)... but if ure convinced hes the one, go ahead...

Anonymous said...

Just pray 4 God's direction cos marriage is a lifetime agreement. Moreover stop been choosy cos u dnt knw who is who,God will order ur step

Barry9ice said...

Here comes ur Romeo, will u be my Juliet? 080222xx79251. Call me lets talk, yes lets talk abt dt issue in ur mind. Cheers

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm,
My dear,attractn s very important in makin a relatnship work buh den,m sure his looks ain dat bad,besyds wt a few dressin tips here and thr,u myt end up lykin hs swag and even 4get e 'isn't up 2 ur standard'.T s important 4 u 2 lyk wat u see,nd m sure u do,u only want more...d more u wld hv nd make oda girls outsyd chase/dsturb him.m guessin thrs smfn else abt him u wld lyk/love.See,i always wanted a dark,tall,handsome dude and ds myt sound weird....nd wt a lil ass...lol,buh my man s nt dark,nd no yansh ida infact nt as hairy as I would want...buh my dear I am satisfied and @peace,so plz tz nt all abt looks

NB:m nt dat old or close 2 menopause,m in my early 20's,jez decided 2 set ma priorities ryt.
*asabi*

elovi said...

Lmao oooooooo lib readers won't kill sum1 with coments so babe u better get sense else my aunt who is 39 grabs him from you

Anonymous said...

Anon 11.59 pm, u be correct guy. U jst told d naked truth here. Hw many of dese Pple insulting ha will want their own sisters to marry an ugly man whom she doesn't luv? If she's not attracted 2 him sef she will eventually cheat on him. sista please, jst follow ur heart biko, life iz too short to be in an unhappy marriage ooo.

Anonymous said...

God bless u for that comment.

Anonymous said...

WTF does "LIBers" mean?? You must be a retard.

Anonymous said...

She said fine guys dont approach her. pls lets see ur face first. maybe this guy should be the one to manage u

Anonymous said...

She said fine guys dont approach her. pls lets see ur face first. maybe this guy should be the one to manage u

Unknown said...

keep on looking for fine men, soon u will pray to God t give u even the so called ugly ones if not dwarffs or imbeciles. Rubbish of the highest order.

LolaJustus said...

Why do we get some very ignorant answers. I see no reason why anyone should insult the poster.

For people who keep saying settle;
1. Just because you have no standards doesn't mean everyone should join your club
2. You are not going to be the one sleeping with him for the rest of your lives

Girl, this isn't a question anyone can answer for you. Ignore friends and all, Can you live with it? If, den u know the answer.

Follow my blog http://nigeriandate.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha u r funny.....cnt stop laffn at dis comment

Anonymous said...

My dear wat if u end up with Mr fyn boy and years into the marriage something happens,maybe an accident dat pratically turns him into a nightmare. . Wat will u do,divorce him ? If we must be realistic there are men everywhere bt husbands are scarce,and as u said age is no longer on ur syd.You've got to make hay while the sun shines and stop building castles in the air.A word they say is enough for the wise

Anonymous said...

My dear if you feel very strong about the looks, don't manage it or you may later regret it. Sometimes, please i say SOMETIMES, someone's look may actually be a reflection of what is inside. While at times, they may have a good heart. DON'T IGNORE YOU INTUITION. Someone's meat may be another's poison. Remember that if you allow people to pressurize you, you alone will live with the decision for the rest of your life. Don't lower your standard if it will not make you happy.

Anonymous said...

Similar situation, the guy is a military guy (graduate)but so nice.

yawanow said...

If its to settle with the guy on the wall post, Hell No...kai

Unknown said...

just pray abt it and if God reveal it to u dat he's d one my dear u beta go for it, marriage is not been handsome and pretty. marrying God choice dat why u will find happiness in ur marriage.

Anonymous said...

Remember; sooner after marriage the so called beauty will fade away! What now interacts is your personalty and his. Therefore beauty shouldn't be a prerequisite in choosing a life partner.

Unknown said...

Hahahah nice 1 neekee lol

Anonymous said...

How lame cud u be, at this time ad age, define d word fine? Is it that he is not cute look, or his dress sense is crap? Use ur tongue count ur teeth, b4 11:45pm go tick...u can refine em, u thank me later cos my gf did ad today she gave me a promise ring....
Gab2shoessaysso

Anonymous said...

LoL. She might be a little superficial but she owns it. Ppl need to free the babe

Unknown said...

GIVE ME MY GIFT FOR THIS DECEMBER, I HAVE DONE A LOT FOR LIBS:<

Email: samuel.ibeka@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

GIVE ME MY GIFT FOR THIS DECEMBER, I HAVE DONE A LOT FOR LIBS:<

Email: samuel.ibeka@yahoo.com

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