"If u can't stand me calling you "ode, bitch, ewu" then don't bother" - Pretty Mike lists desired requirements his future wife must have | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Friday 7 April 2017

"If u can't stand me calling you "ode, bitch, ewu" then don't bother" - Pretty Mike lists desired requirements his future wife must have

Socialite, Pretty Mike, took to Instagram minutes ago to share a ridiculous list of requirements his future wife must have. Mike, who was arrested a few months ago by the Lagos state Government and cautioned for putting a leash on two women, amongst other attention seeking antics, said his future wife must be okay with being called derogatory words by him. He wrote:
WIFEY/SERIOUS GF application: Below r the rules/criteria in sending ur cv..

1. Please if u are a Yoruba girl n frm unilag,pls don't bother 
2. if u have dated at least 2 popular yahoo guys 👎🏽
3. You must get a letter of recommendation frm at least 2 of ur exes n if you've had just an Ex,pls support ur claim with a 11 paragraph affidavit 
4. You must have a decent job (don't be a marketer or MuA🙈
5. Please If u have a Loud Snoring game,pls don't bother, I will hate to miss d trumpet when it sounds cause u were snoring 
6. Pls if u don't knw how to use🍴or u've leaking mouth(food drops frm ur mouth)we shall be having dates in fancy restaurants,Pls I don't want to be disgraced and no I can't teach u table manners 
7. Pls if ur name is/are Bolanle,Damilola,Bisola,Olamide,Rukayat,Sukurat,Raimat...u r Automatically disqualified 
8. If u have more than 1 Club owner's number #Smh
9. If u are in a Private Uni "Bu,Run,Bowen,Cu,Bells" and u are in Lag every weekend,total 4get it 
10. If u r a drug addict 😡
11. Asides d usual pet names "baby,darling and shii" if u can't stand me calling u "ode" "my bitch" "Ewu" then don't bother
12. If u enjoy SocialMedia attention "Abeg fine urself another man" 
13. Pls if u Enjoy getting High Regularly "Forget it"..Cause Na ur Type dey enjoy smoking weed while been pregnant #Sub
14. If u are not ready to cut off ur single friends that r not in a serious relationship,den I'm not ur man.
15. If u have a favorite black bra,pls stay away from me
16. If you dont squirt,please slide away
17. Pls if u are a lesbian,don't hide it from me,it's allowed as long as I can watch
18. Please if you're ugly,Biko ex,I can't stand my child being bullied 4 looking like Mr ibu 😂
19. My Lepa babes "Abeg Noway 4 u"
20. If you're a baby mama abeg I know do. 
21. If you've done runs in Abj,Ph,Owerri and u now want Lag Husband,don't send ur cv cause our machine will detect U
22. If u can't stand me sleeping with ur nipples in my mouth,pls stay far
23. Speaking of Runs "if ur runs has taken u as far a Apapa" Forget it
24. If you're frm Benin n have been to Italy at any point in time,Biko don't apply
25. If ur r ff Bellodus,UncleBukz,Jay,Mosh,Yanju..RedFlag ooh
 
 

78 comments:

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm bros u serious oooooo

Lola said...

Lol i actually found it more hilarious than annoying, i think he's just trying to make a joke

Anonymous said...

Very foolish man. I'm sure they've used the remaining blood in his brain to do menstruation.
He nau even mentioned my name again. Who wants to date a ghost looking man like him? Rubbish!!

Anonymous said...

This my clearly have mental illness and Nigeria police still let him off the hook, Na until he kills someone that's when Naija pple will understand how ill this man is, he needs psychiatric help, his family and relatives should act fast and get him help so that he won't end up murdering an innocent soul. Prevention is better .....

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. O ma se o. May God forgive you and save your soul. Amen.

Alexy Shehu said...

Haaaahaaaaa. Funny Dude

Unknown said...

Lol..ode,ewu,okpo u no serios. This one ur doing is it not social media attention seeking? Who dey find u sef.smh

Unknown said...

This guy should just come out as a gay that he is already...

Hrm paul said...

Preety mike my man he just dissed Yoruba girls.and dissed Tonto hahaha.but serious if u meet dis guy u will love him very funny and lively

Anonymous said...

I like the squirt part

Anonymous said...

Good people of LIB, please I need your help. I am financially broke and depressed at the moment... godslove2001@yahoo.com

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Lol. He will marry Virgin Mary then


... Merited happiness

Anonymous said...

Sick

Anonymous said...

The woman who ends up with this man will be very depressed and suicidal cos he is too into himself and has an unhealthy superiority complex.
He wants a slave not a wife/girlfriend.
Nama!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This one needs a good beating. Knock some sense into him

Ina said...

I sight your LGBT umbrella. I sorry for anyone that will marry this gay man.

Unknown said...

Lol.
Some truth in those verses tho.

Anonymous said...

copy cat. He copied it from d Zimbabwean millionaire's requirement for a wife.D guy guy gave d list of requirement late last year.

Unknown said...

The guy know more about ladies,alot of girls out there today re guilty of this short listed,even for village girls go fail this test

CHERYL (aka FROM GLORY to GLORY) said...

Lmao!!!! Mad man


Long live LIB

Anonymous said...

Demented animal.I strongly blame social media for this.who wants to marry an animal like u. Tufiakwa!

Anonymous said...

ROFL! Real life troll.

Anonymous said...

I can only laugh....in fact,am laughing&shitting myself...wot a joker?

Sauce said...

Abeg guy go marry ur mama n no tell me sey she no get all dis ur qualities oo...

Unknown said...

dat na for babes wey get ur time

ifeoma's verdict said...

Obviously his village people are after him.

Bayo said...

He is just being funny... I don't think he actually means it.
here is how to get a big penis

Anonymous said...

Total unstable personality disorder. Unfortunately the diagnosis is not recognised in Nigeria which makes it better for him . Well we are wAtching you cos definitely you willsoon end up in court and your post will hunt you . Remember discrimination, derogatory comment, instilling hatred, internet nuisAnce . All these are punishable under the law , all are criminal offence.

Tpy said...

He is carrying an umbrella with LGBT colors. This guy is gay, there's no doubt about that

Kally234 said...

Can't stop laughing 😅😅😅, Na ur future wife I dey feel sorry for, cos by the time una tie the knot ,she go dey receive congratulatory messages like , congratulations bitch ! Happy married life Ewu😄 ..I trust my Naija people to keep the list wait u for their library.

sheezee said...

Joker of the century. Suck ur balls nigga

Agbomen said...

Na waoh oo!! Are u for real Pretty Mike!!! My suspicion is dat u may want to try out comedy as a career but u ain't so sure u will do well,hence all dis drama. U are testing d waters to get feedback. If dats d case,i applaud ur strategy. Otherwise!!! u need a psychiatrist,ASAP, cos u may be loosing it.

Anonymous said...

Bet he got his rainbow umbrella from the last Mardi Gras

Anonymous said...

He's a club owner who must have seen a lot of the shit girls do,notice how he's being very specific

Anonymous said...

You don't deserve a wife. You are not qualify.
Na craze don start for you so. Even with you wealth, you can not get any wife

Anonymous said...

It's hilarious and silly. And what does he offer? That silly white outfit???

Anonymous said...

'if you have a favourite black bra, Pls stay away from me.LOL

Anonymous said...

Machine detector' LWKMD

Anonymous said...

Your mama no train u well, Ode

Iykegeneral said...

Lol one with his own problem

MAYBUMS123 said...

Clearly u r looking for bobrisky naaaa just tell us jor

Anonymous said...

Funy dude....

Anonymous said...

That favorite black bra tho lol 😂😂😂

xobeabeth said...

Attention seeker



www.xobeabeth.com

Anonymous said...

He is a gay... see the color of the umbrella, see his comment on lesbian..

Vic said...

Lol....This cracked me up so bad...From No. 15 to 25 was so hilarious...Thank God he now has machines to detect runs girls sha!!Watching the lesbians is quite disturbing to me though, especially when it's your wife doing such.

Anonymous said...

THAT GOAT MUST BE REALLY FULL OF HIM SELF SHA..EWU SENIOR

Carina Kikelomo Jacob said...

Attention seeker.
Even if he is gay or heterosexual his sight disgust me! Tueh!! May God help his parents. I hope. He doesn't give them a heart attack. Not a son but a waste product!

Emeka Izuogu said...

Lol..you've just dissed Bisola of BBNAIJA

Anonymous said...

mmmguidersforum.net

Tigi said...

Any girl that would suit pretty mike's criteria would also have a criteria of her own.....like....

If u have had sex with more than 10 different girls, dont bother.

If u don't have a respectable source of income like....medicine, engineering, law, or u don't have a masters, doctorate or u r nt in d board of directors in a reputable financial institution....look d other way.
If u r too flashy and so full of yourself, Nada.

If u have being a source of embarrassment to urself in public/internet bros no worry....etc.

I am sure he won't meet her criteria too....
Guy, u can't plant yam nd reap okro naa, haba!

U'll certainly end up with a bitch a Buffon like u deserve.
Lmao.

Anonymous said...

Any woman that marries you is all you intend to call her joined together.

Meriks antixynophobia said...

Want another girl on a psychco leash,mike mike,hian

lami said...

The! Guy is sick and only a sick person would marry him.

Unknown said...

Lolz i enjoyed reading the write up just like i love joro's own. Strictly for fun and entertainment not like i take you guys serious. Nice write up.

Unknown said...

Lol. Nice one. Linda, U won't let pretty mike be until it turns to another Wizkid Vs Linda tale. I really enjoy d humour. D sub is on Kokolet. 😂😂😂

Anonymous said...

U r my Hero bro...
I wish u can meet so u teach me more as ur side kick

Unknown said...

JUS SEE DS MAD MAN!
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

Unknown said...

Yes i found it hilarious too..But then jokes apart, just negodu nu nwa ochicha (cockroach) giving us list of his wife's requirements when we all know he receives tru ike ñsi .. which sane woman want him anyway. Him and his bae bobrisky should go and hug transformer...

Unknown said...

funny dude

Unknown said...

funny dude

Anonymous said...

he's just being funny>>lol, right? right?

Anonymous said...

Sub is for Tonto 'KingKong' Churchill nee Dické

Tigi said...

Chai, babe, u harsh o. Lmao.

Anonymous said...

From President of Association of the Mentally ill

Brenda said...

WHAT A BEAST.
LET HIM TAKE SOME LESSONS AND OBSERVE COUPLES WHO HAVE STAYED LONG IN MARRIAGE.

THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT INGREDIENT IS MISSING FROM THEIRS.

Unknown said...

I think this guy needs a serious psychiatrist examination. His case is getting out of hand.

Anonymous said...

Funny enough women of nowadays are problems

Anonymous said...

This man is seriously seeking attention

Ella chandelli said...

And some stupid Bitch would go and apply now... Girls Eeh Na we dey do ourselves!

Anonymous said...

This man is seriously seeking attention

Anonymous said...

Attention seeking.


280 TBC for 196k only. Call or whatsapp- 07069487300

Anonymous said...

im just wondering who gave birth to this thing. cant even be called an animal cos animals don't treat their females this way. ur mom..i pity her. attention seeking or not, this fool needs a beating

Anonymous said...

He must be fucking ur ass too, second Bobrisky

Anonymous said...

Sadly for him I meet all the requirements, even better, but i've been married since my teens

Anonymous said...

Obviously

Anonymous said...

And the LGBT umbrella

Unknown said...

The guy is simply saying dt, he doesn't want a woman in his life. Period. Dont we get it?

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