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Wednesday 5 March 2014

Dear LIB readers: How do I tell my siblings our parents died of HIV?

From a LIB reader
We grew up with a loving mum and dad. Dad was so handsome and kindhearted, mum's hips didn't lie at all with her beauty. As a child I knew dad was ladies man and he only sleeps at home once or twice a week. Despite his extreme social life,he cared for his kids 100% although my mum didn't enjoy his company the way a wife should always enjoy her husband. To cut the story short, my dad passed on in 2005 after suffering from kidney failure and HIV. Only my dad's younger brother and my mum who took care of him during the illness knew about his HIV status. I bumped into knowing 3days after his death while I was checking his phone, he sent a message to our family doctor about his status but I never asked my mum and she never told me too even though I was 19years old. His death was a shocking one for all and sundry because he was the breadwinner of the family and even to some people we didn't know; dad was so kind-hearted.
Mum died shortly after dad, less than two years due to complications from HIV. I suffered silently knowing alone that she was dying from HIV, it was shocking and painful because I thought she'd spend more years before giving up,didn't know she won't last more than one year after dad. Now the issue is,its been 9years since dad passed on and mum 7years but I still do not know how to tell my siblings the truth.

They kind of believe their death wasn't natural because it was shortly after we buried our grandfather in the village that my dad fell sick and died.
 
My younger brother, the last born and only boy still believes dad's death wasn't natural and does not want to have anything to do with dad's family. He was only 12years old when dad died and my immediate younger sister was only 16years. They are both full grown adults now while I am married and blessed with two wonderful kids but please how do I tell them what killed our parents?

183 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm its a tough one. . Use wisdom



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Anonymous said...

Linda enough of al these unbelievable tales

Unknown said...

Summon courage and telll them.its better.

Unknown said...

Call them together and tell the now... What difficult in dat?

Okoro said...

Can they accept it?

Anonymous said...

They are adults more they will understand

Anonymous said...

They are both adults now, just call them and tell the truth and they will hold is in good faith.

cute mee said...

My dear its nt easy,bt its a gud thing they are all grown up,u all should sit nd discuss d matter,its heart breaking bt d lord will be ur strenght,let them 2 let go of all hatred nd negative thought against all.

Unknown said...

There'z no ao to,u will just called them and xplain ao tinz is in ur own view.as long as u don't av HIV,u can let them knw and clear out ur siblings doubt. *««*CROWD PULLER PLEASER*»»*•

Anonymous said...

just tell them . its not going to be easy though

Unknown said...

Nothing is hidden under the sun,the truth must always be told som hw,some times,som day.One dey fowl nyatch go open


Post a Comment

Anonymous said...

My dear, this is exactly what happened to my parents. You need to let you siblings know so they wont be creating enemies with your dad's family. I did the same thing with my siblings when I found out. It's not your fault that it happened that way. This is my own advice.

Swaggcino said...

U are actually in a tight position if u tell them it will make dem hate ur father cous he caused d death of ur mother but I believe with time dey will come to terms with it, but if u don't dey will keep having grudge with pple dat did nothing so I guess u should tell dem is better dey fight with d dead than d living.... Just saying

Anonymous said...

Don't worry my dear, you've done that already, they will check this blog and find out, the story is detailed enough for them for know it's all about their history.


So you find it hard to confide in your siblings but find it convenient to share it with all Linda's global audience. #dumebi

armani said...

If u ask me na who I go askkk?

Okoro said...

Let God handle it...

Anonymous said...

Since they are already grown just tell them. Preferably while have a conversation.

Pastor fingers 20-year-old girl to confirm if she is a virgin

Anonymous said...

They are adults now and can handle it, just tell them. I just pity pple with cheating spouses, you are as open as your partner to infections. Some pple still think AIDS is not real, that d white man is just trying to deceive us. Hope dy learn o. If you know your spouse is cheating, please tell him to use a condom o or don't give him at all. A word is enough for the wise.

edee said...

Just tell them the truth

Lyndy said...

Of course u hav to tell them, mostly for them to kno the consequences of promiscuity nd unfaithfulness and dt AIDS is real

Anonymous said...

Plz call a meetn and tell them de truth so dat they will caution themslvs n their life oo.chima

Unknown said...

Heart raking!

Anonymous said...

there's really nothing bad in telling them the truth besides u guys are family if u can't tell ur deepest secrets to ur family members then who can u ever confide in . moreover Hiv status isn't supposed to be something to be hidden just because a cure hasn't being found . well i think it's societal opinion that Must hav hindered u. girlfriend tell ur siblings the truth! .so u can be feel free nd it would erase all unnecessary alligations

BONARIO NNAGS said...

From your story I don't see the reason why you shouldn't tell your siblings the truth,at least they've come of age and will better understand and take it in good fate. And save your father's family this hatred from your sibling.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Kel-Caiuz said...

For u all that thinks u re handsome and still u re married but choosed to live the life of a player, be careful cus AIDS is real

Anonymous said...

U said it all there full adult now,nothing but the truth will make u happy and ur siblings...just tell then the truth!!!

Bonita Bislam said...

You owe them the truth.sit them down as adults and tell them.I don't see any big deal about that.

Anonymous said...

BETTER TELL THEM THE TRUTH SO THEY STOP BLAMING INNOCENT PEOPLE IGNORANTLY.

Anonymous said...

Pray and ask God for the grace and strength to tell them the truth. They deserve to know the truth, also you'll be saving your younger brother from the resentment that has swallowed him for years.

Anonymous said...

Very simple, call dem n tell dem, since dey r grown up dey can handle it,

Loisy said...

Just tell them.. Sit them down, and tell them. They have ɑ̤̥̈̊ right to know..

Unknown said...

i think its high time they are told especially with the young guy having ill feeling towards the family. Like you said, they are all grown now and can take it. Its better to tell them, you owe it to them, pay up! Bless

#daveydave

Unknown said...

Pls tell dem. Dey deserve 2 knw d truth.

Anonymous said...

Tel them. U no, dats some mistake son of u make & som1 will b making enemies & praying 4 noting.

Anonymous said...

Chai! It's kinda hard dear but they've all grown up so you should tell them the truth.

LINDA said...

My dear ur siblings are no longer babies. Sit them down n explain things to them. I don't think its much of a biggie.. They deserve the truth so they'l stop thinkin the witches n wizards in ur village are @work.

Molurlah's MakeOver said...

You should tell them since they are all grown up now. I'm sure they will find it easier to understand

PAVOUR said...

Pls inform them that way they will not become victims since most pple still dont believe in HIV.

Anonymous said...

How should you tell them means u want to tell them right? The same way you understood the whole situation, they will! WS

Unknown said...

But u are minded o,how can u keep such a tin Secret for that long. Trust is u can kill I swear,u have a very strong and bad mind,jezzz. Anyways see Ur siblings need to know the truth they have the right to know what happened to Dere parent so they can finally let dem rest in peace, so Ur brother can let go the hatred he is feeling. What u did was really bad thou.

Blitz Crush said...

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Anonymous said...

This is big o! I think you should just look for an older person that you trust and let him or her break the news to them.............be sure they will be very mad at you for not letting them no on time. God is your strength btw Ur hubby should be very proud of you cos u are a very strong woman.

Anonymous said...

Why are u asking? You kept it for this long so keep it? U sha want to write to Linda sha. Leave your brother alone. You should have told him since if u wanted to. Stop being fake.

ejike capable said...

Let slleeping dogs lie.

JOYCHY said...

Well personally I think dey deserve 2 know d cause of dere parents death & dis is long over due.... U should hv said so a long tyme ago......

Anonymous said...

so that you can share your load right? Everyone needs a sister like you

Anonymous said...

Wait till they are 18 and deliver the news to UR immediate

Lydia Austin said...

Well, in my own opinion, since they are now adults, set a meeting date with the both of them and explain to them what happened. You have a brother that doesn't want anything to do with his father's people for something they know nothing about.TAKE THAT BOLD STEP DEAR

Anonymous said...

they need to know the truth

hadiza said...

Say 'Dad and mum died of HIV'! They aren't kids na....

Anonymous said...

Dear friend,my own advise is dat go n tell dem what happen too ur parent so dat they can learn frm there.moreover they cannot kill u now.

haters-slayer said...

i also no of a family,theirs is similar to yours both parent died of hiv,for a moment i thought it was them,buh im relieved cus the eldest isnt married yet,so my dear you have to tell your sibling they have the right to know what killed thier parent.

hadiza said...

Say 'Dad and mum died of HIV'! They aren't kids na....

hadiza said...

Say 'Dad and mum died of HIV'! They aren't kids na....

Anonymous said...

Well like you said that they are both grown adults now...so tell them the truth about how your parents died.

Unknown said...

you`ve told them already by posting it on this blog....dey gona read it here and it wud be much easier....

Anonymous said...

What's d need of telling them, but If u wt to just tell them when they clock 25

Anonymous said...

Its not necessary

Anonymous said...

You just have to sum up the courage to tell them because life is too short to be keeping secrets... If you really love your siblings, telling them wouldn't be an issues because the people we are talking about here has passed on so life goes on as well. I know its hard to pass such news, but you just have to as no other option because i know you are not strong enough to hide such information for another 5yrs without feeling guilty...

peperina said...

Who is holding ur mouth since d day dey died? Y didnt u tell dem ever b4? If am in deir shoe i wil nvr 4giv goat like u! U created hate btw 2 families nd nw u r loking 4 help. Abge get Lost dis is nt a story joor. Continue holding ur mouth in ur pant.

Kemoji4u said...

With simple words like : Guys dad and mum died of HIV. finish !

Unknown said...

you`ve told them already by posting it on this blog....dey gona read it here and it wud be much easier....

Unknown said...

Wats wrng if u tell dem ?isnt HIV a disease? nawaoo !stigmatization at its peak...

Anonymous said...

First and foremost, one does not die of HIV. One dies from AIDS. Tell them about it and use the opportunity to teach tgem sex education. God bless

Anonymous said...

Your siblings are adults now. They should be able to handle anything u tell them about ur parents. I think its better u tell them in a tactful manner rather than hiding it from them and they in turn creating unfounded enmity.

Unknown said...

I think you should sit them down and tell them, they are adults and would be able to take it.

Anonymous said...

If they are interested in knowing, ther's no reason to keep such a secret anymore since they are adults now.

Anonymous said...

pls my dear tell dem so they will knw, to prevent any mistake in their future, its for their own good.

Anonymous said...

How: Take them out to the park, for a nice brunch... Then just tell them. There's no hiding anymore. They are adults and should be able to deal with it. Your younger brother is already suspicious but in a wrong way so its best you come out straight. And if possibly, have some type of proof because they may not believe you. No child wants their parents image tainted. Also it will help unify the relationship between your brother and dad's family. Good luck!!

PRETTYSILVIA said...

Hon u just said urself that they are both full grown adults now.they can deal with it.I get dat u re tryin to protect them but for how long?now they think its not natural nd are cutting off frm d family.which they are doin in error.so ur keepin silent now is causing more harm than good.trust me if they get To somehow know dat u knew. D truth nd kept it away frm dem? U might become d enemy cos they will blame u.so sit dem down nd let dem knw u didn't tell dem den cos u didn't. Tynk they could handle it nd tell them d truth.

Unknown said...

pls tell them now, they r now adult they can handle it. to aviod ur young brother to create more malice for himself with his father's family.

Anonymous said...

Will you telling them resurrect them....Let the dead and the cause of the death be, biko.....

Miss X said...

I am truly sorry that you had to bare the burden of this information.

U can start by calling your siblings together for a chat. Talk about your parents and how amazing they were.

Finally let them know how difficult it has been to bare this info and it doesn't change anything about your parents. Then give the information.

Debbie Chelsea said...

Pls tell dem

Unknown said...

you have to tell them they r now adult, to avoid more malice from ur young brother.

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Tell zeb Ejiro to act it on a movie den tell dem to watch d movie and see their reaction, o sori it already on a movie. Linda stop post movie lines for us to answer pls...

Gee said...

Ds doesn't mk sense,y did u even keep it a secret snc dey turned 18...tell dem fast dey deserve to know d truth, wt proof though

Anonymous said...

My dear it's time u told them the truth 'cos keeping it alone in ur mind isn't doing them any good especially ur only brother whom may hv the same character of ur late dad so he'll learn to be faithful to his own partner. As the saying goes experience is the best teacher. #Linda pls publish this one# UD

Anonymous said...


How do I tell my siblings our parents died of HIV? Err...you don't. You plank! People DO NOT die of HIV. Now, if they had AIDS that’s a different matter. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. AIDS weakens and destroys the immune system leaving the carrier defenseless to fight off infections.

Anonymous said...

Ur siblings are not kids any more,its better u tell them what really happened they deserve to know,they will understand just d right time to tell them.

Anonymous said...

Just sit them down and talk to them. They are old enough to know. Also, they have formed mindsets based on what they think happened to your folks and they need the information you have, to correct it.

It will be hard, but please find the time and place and tell them the truth. Sorry about your losses, God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Call them & tell 'em noni. Just d 3 of u should be present. Ofcourse, there'll be d inevitable reaction of denial but they'll finally accept it & make peace with ur relatives.

Anonymous said...

Just Open ur mouth and say it to them ur parents died of HIV. Lobatan

Anonymous said...

all u have to do is call them together if the doctor who diagnosed ur dad is still alife let him be there to also clarify and help things with ur siblings cuz u telling them this they will never believe u so i encourage u to invite the doctor cuz he will be of more help than u doing all this alone .





#milito da great#

ary said...

Just hit the bloody nail in the head. They are adults no need to beat around the bush.

Anonymous said...

Pls u need 2 let dem knw cos hiv is real so dey can be careful wit dis lyf.but talk 2 dem maturedly

Anonymous said...

Na wa ooo dis case its very serious but since ur uncle knws abt dia status,y dont u allow him do d tellin wt enof evidence to back it..gudluck cos u reli need it

Unknown said...

Call dem up on a gud day and let it all out.... Jezzz dey r all grown up now n d got d rt to d truth....or dey will live d rest of der life thking its ur dad family tht killed dem.truth me...sure thought isn't gud at all... Especially to ur brother!!!

Anonymous said...

its a big deal fine bt d bitter truth is that u just have to tell them now that they ve grown n matured enough to understand ghe mysteries of life,they can as well learn from it.it wont be nice for them to hear frm any family member later on.tell them nd make them see reasons why u ve nt told them all these while

Anonymous said...

Wat kinda question is this?........will they die too if you tell them?... you better go ahead and tell them. if its so hard for you to do! call both of them for a dinner and start by advising them. Then legt them know about the text message you saw. they are adults so trust me they will understand

Anonymous said...

Jst tell them
Sugar lala

Anonymous said...

its a big deal fine bt d bitter truth is that u just have to tell them now that they ve grown n matured enough to understand the mysteries of life,they can as well learn from it.it wont be nice for them to hear frm any family member later on.tell them nd make them see reasons why u ve nt told them all these while

Anonymous said...

You guys are now takng stories from the movies,some of all these stories are all lies,

Igor said...

Since they have reached adulthood,I guess the time has come for them to know,especially your brother,who is now the head of the family.

meeeeeeeeeeee said...

Dear Poster,

I do not know why you have chosen to put yourself in a self imposed mental prison. Your siblings deserve to know so that they do not continue with the lie they presently believe. You will be giving them as well as yourself proper closure on your parents death.

Anonymous said...

Please tell them the entire truth! They are grown adults and should be able to handle it. Secondly, it will also help to check their lifestyles and guide them properly knowing the cause of their parents' death.

Occupy nijja said...

Please tell them and then let it be. Use it as a way to correct the impression that their deaths were caused by some negative forces and as a way to caution your brothers and yourself against promiscuity. For you as a lady learn from your mothers experience and be bold to confront and leave a promiscuous husband . This story really touched me i hope it is not trivialized the way some issues are on this blog. Take heart cos it is quite a burden to carry.

Unknown said...


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zeel said...

do u av to tell them? they bliv its not natural..ehn...HIV isnt natural na. i feel bygone is bygone.. its years ago. dey really dnt need to knw. whatevr they bliv killed them wnt resurrect them

Anonymous said...

Hello dear, as difficult as it may be I suggest you have a meeting with them and tell them together, just start from the beginning and let them know that it can happen to anyone, hence they should learn from it. Been in your shoes so I know how you feel and I know how they would feel. They deserve to know the truth...

Jay said...

To me I believe they are both of age and will be able to handle the facts although your last born might still be adamant and still believe otherwise but giving them enough proof of what happened will make them to reason and understand you better.

Ablarge said...

Having read your story, I'm sorry about the ordeal you had to go through knowing what killed your parents. As regards ur siblings knowing the truth about ur parents death, I think you should tell them the truth as they are old enough to handle it. I also think this will also help them to be more conscious about their sexual lives knowing that HIV\AIDS is real. And it will also help your younger brother knowing that your paternal family isn't responsible for your Dad's death.

Goz said...

Your sibblings are old enough to know the truth. Please go ahead and call them together and tell them as it is not fair keeping it away from them, most especially your younger brother who already has a misconception about your dad's village.

AB said...

My sister they are adult now tell them and let them know especially your younger brother who already doesn't believe your dad death was natural. just call them and let them know after all the cause of the death is not human.

Anonymous said...

Call a frnd meeting on ur parents honour and then tell dem. Its better they hear it frm u than frm ur uncles. Try and clear the impression they have abt ur uncles before it toooo late.

Stephen Echefu said...

just go watch Dallas Buyers Club! okbye

Anonymous said...

If nt for them to knw and mind hw they live their own lives,I would suggest dat u don't tell them.its no big deal.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Dear, I Have read your post my friend, does tell your siblings which is important please for them to know the truth about your parent death for him to stop boiled down to your father people and villages which is not good at all in life God will help us in Jesus name (Amen)

Anonymous said...

The truth will be better believed if it is coming from an insider like u, so I guess u have nothing really to fear because u will be freeing them of all greviances. Its not ur fault anyway.

Anonymous said...

If you a documented proof then let them know the truth but if not hold your peace. Do try and get the documented proof so that your brother and sister can have peace of mind and stop accusing people wrongly.

Anonymous said...

if u say they are now of age, then call them and tell them. dont wait till they find out themselves some how, you owe them the truth.

Brisbane said...

The best way to tell them is to tell them.

Diane said...

You just have to have a family meet with them, make sure that they are in a good mood to discuss such a thing with them. is better you let them no, so that they will know their right from their left now. And so that your brother can be close to your dad's family, He is a man, he can never run from his family. God is your strength

Anonymous said...

Which kyn question be dis now? Call dem,text dem,invite them over,na just to open ur mouth and talk...and make all of una go check una status
*vanchuks*

Apple said...

Nigerians and secretes , dying from HIV is not a crime or is it? They were not armed robbers, tell them it is no big deal.

Unknown said...

This is not a problem @ all. Thank God U̶̲̥̅̊'re older than them. Sit them down & tell them d truth from how U̶̲̥̅̊ got 2 know to why U̶̲̥̅̊ kept it hidden. It's better they know the truth than carry grudge and anger 2wards the wrong people. The truth will also prevent them from living such life in the future. Take it as a duty upon urself & tell the truth coz only the truth can set U̶̲̥̅̊ free.

Anonymous said...

It is no big deal,go ahead and tell them the truth,HIV is not evil.

Anonymous said...

There's no other way to tell them than to tell them...you tell em and help them thru with it...they r adults, I think they deserve to know. Don't worry too much abt hw they will feel, they will come out just fine with God's help nd urs

Unknown said...

D same way u told Linda

Anonymous said...

"Brother, sister na HIV kill mama and papa, make we go do test"
I dont think it shud b a problem btw siblings . Its outsiders u need to be careful with or just keep it to urself. Ur test result should just guide u to fo whats right

Aby said...

Just the way you explained to us.

I think it's important you tell them in order for them to watch their way of life

Unknown said...

For me, I don't see any big deal in this story,dont make it feel like you gave them the HIV. Just tell them the exact way you are telling us.

Anonymous said...

U jst ve to to avoid pointing accusing finger(s) to d wrong person(s)

$$k@y$$

Anonymous said...

Oh noo!

Unknown said...

Why can't you tell them the truth? HIV is it a new disease? AhhhhhaaA!

Anonymous said...

There's no use making them believe that some people are after your family,just tell them the truth and you people move on from there. It will even free your own mind too,they are adults and will deal with it.

Anonymous said...

What do you need to tell them for????

AnnMarie said...

I think they have a right to know, it will even make them more careful

Anonymous said...

You don't need to tell them, there's a reason why ure the first child !!

Anonymous said...

Don't tell them finish!!!!

Anonymous said...

My dear, you don't hv any reason to tell them honestly

Anonymous said...

Let it go,u dnt ve to tell them.It doesnt change d fact that they are died.

Anonymous said...

Dis story sounds like one I know too well. I think its best you get a counsellor to help break the news. All the best.

Anonymous said...

What is the big deal there- people die of different diseases everyday. Anyway, HIV does not kill. AIDS does. There are ways of managing it and you can live your normal life.Tell your siblings and live your lives.

Anonymous said...

Ya so dey will believe HIV is real cos some pipo still believe it happens to certain kind of pipo

Anonymous said...

No need 2 ask Libers ds kainda funny question? Truth is, ur siblings has 2 know what's up, so they dnt have grudges against innocent pple. Tell them what it is n how it is. Tell dem what actually went down n how u got 2 know about ur dad's HIV status. It is very wrong of u 2 keep such info 2 urself. Your siblings has 2 know, cos d pple in question are also their parents. Pls sit them down n tell them about this, it is getting too late already!!!! Y keep such 2 urself 4 ds long? Not fair on ur siblings@all.

Anonymous said...

Na rily wat kind of question of ds?? Mtcheeewww... wen they ain't no longer babies. u dy say hw do u tell dem??!!!

Anonymous said...

very simple dear, u said they r adults nw so dat means dey can handle stuffs ..... tell dem and better have something to back it up oooooo............so dey wnt think ur trying to defend ur dad's family by making him d bad guy.

Anonymous said...

Yes my. Dear pls tell dem,dey hav d right to knw d truth and. Dey are of age,don't allow dem to hear frm somewhere else,if dey do dey will nt confide in u again bcos dey see u nw as their parents,so pls make dem knw,but ask God for. Wisdom.pls tell dem

Anonymous said...

TELL DEM SO DAT THEY SHOULD NT TAKE THEIR UNCLE AS THEIR ENEMY #@ Dr Francis#

Xtabel said...

Pls tell dem or u wil nt lik wht wil happen later

MY TURN said...

Call them sit them down and tell them... what's so hard? you are just suffering in silence like someone said putting yourself unnecessarily in a mental prison. You are also selfish, making your siblings hate your dad's people... That's WICKED, THEY MAY END UP HATING YOU

Anonymous said...

Telling dem will be gud, so dey could also check deir status




Gay man who turned to a pretty woman after being set on fire

Unknown said...

well said anon...o tink u shud tell dem they re matured now...they cn suck it in nd man it up...also it will be a lesson to learn frm instead of accussing innocent ppl in the village

Anonymous said...

U r d most stupiest person i ve eva seen husband n wife died of hiv is dat wat is unblievable? Do u knw wat pple r passing thro daily? If every1 want to. Lay down dier stories u will b amazed, if u dnt alwas ve anytyn to advice pls alwas shut d fuck up do. U knw hw many prob dis advice here as solved

Anonymous said...

U just did!! U r nt d only Liber in ur family..now they hav read it here, u shld prp for what follows!! Trustin Libers more than ur family..U R WICKED for desecratin the honor of your late parents! (Something u shld hav just told 2 ppl, u hav exposed to millions) dat is if d freaking story is tru!

Nikeh El' said...

You better let "sleeping dogs lie". Telling them now might make them hate you because yu hid the truth from them fr so long a time making them believe all sorts of things. You've kept the secret,emulate your late mum and keep it too. God speed

Anonymous said...

Don't mind linda. Stupid woman

Omotayo said...

They are adults now and i believe its not as bad as you think it would be. At least do your brother and your dad's family members a favour, tell your siblings.

Your brother is hating all for nothing. Set it straight for them all. Pray hard they do not even have a problem with you for not telling them earlier.

Anonymous said...

Please don't call her stupid, I know of a story very similar to this. In my profession I see this a lot. Many children have been left orphans due to this virus. I was in medical school with a lady who lost both parents in a similar way.

Anonymous said...

You r just opportuned to know about their status as an eldest child. They (ur siblings)also have the right to know. So I think u should go ahead and mention it them in a very explanatory and matured way.

Anonymous said...

They're all grown folks nw, they can understand and handle the truth nw. Just let them know on a good day. Good luck.

Anonymous said...


linda u 2 dy lie, y u dy lie. hints and hearts magazine tins

Joiedevivre said...

First of all Lady please understand the issue. People do not die of HIV. They died of AIDS complications. HiV is an infection which can be managed and which people can live with forever without falling seriously ill if they stick to a prescribed health regime. I should know because this is my 5th year after being diagnosed with the illness and I have never been ill.
For exactly these reasons you must tell your siblings as soon as possible. With a lot of illnesses ignorance kills faster than sickness, let them be aware and know how to protect themselves. There's no formula just tell them. Your parents didnt kill someone or loot the country; they fell ill and died. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

You just have to say it to them
news from nigeria nollywood

Amarachukwu said...

Don't tell them now...18 will be ok.

Anonymous said...

What you don't know don't hurt.

Anonymous said...

Something like dat do happen like me is hiv dat kill my father but with the help of. God. My mum did'nt contact it my mum keep it as a secret nobody knows in my family I m 2yrs old wen dat happen but my family thought it was one of his friends dat kill him is now dat I m 22yrs dat my mum told me my father died in hiv .

Anonymous said...

This is not as tough as you think. Just tell them.

Anonymous said...

That's easy. Wait till there is a big family argument and yelling. Then tell them "Hey you fuckers! Listen our parents died of HIV!"

Anonymous said...

But really, (s)he's really stupid to think all these things don't happen for real. I work in Nigeria's HIV response and u know as a matter of fact and figures that about 10000(ten thousand) people between the ages if 25-45 are HIV positive with over 3000 of them receiving treatment in Ikeja facilities alone. Wake up to reality. You may be HIV+ too. Back to the sensible person who asked for genuine advice; sit your siblings down in a very solemn meeting strictly amongst you and ask them sincerely, what they think killed your parents. Then after should you let them know the truth. I assure you, you are saving their lives. HIV is real, I have friends who are and are living good quality life. HIV is better than hepatitis, or even Diabetics. It is a manageable disease with. A cure in sight sooner than later

ITALIAN said...

Dear dont hide it 4 dem any longa, Dey ar no longer kids. It could b lesson and to help dem hw to plan there lyf n hav a gud future.

Anonymous said...

>>>>But why do you want to tell them? Let them be. Your parents are dead and gone, no need to bring up more controversial issues

Anonymous said...

Infact eh, I tire. You prefer to come and share it here when you for don tell them. Better tell them now so that they too will understand that HIV is real. So that they too will be careful how they meander anyhow.

Anonymous said...

well....u should tell em....dey should also get tested




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dhobiz said...

What you should be talking about is if they will believe not how to tell them because they're holding grudge for people that did nothing,just tell them

Bamidele said...

u should, cause they have every right to know.#

Unknown said...

I think you should Call and inform Them cos that will Teach them some Lessons in Life.

Toronto Finest said...

Go to radio station to send a shout out about it. Ode

Unknown said...

If you don't someone outside will

shannaro said...

First of all I'm sorry for your loss and the turmoil you had to go through alone. This is a very sensitive and difficult question concerning your parents that could have outsiders placing moral judgments on a man they did not know,your Father,and I dn't think you should be seeking advice on LIB of all places but in a support service for people affected by HIV.

Ok here's my take. Were your siblings aware that your father was having relationships outside the home at the time? I think that would make your job slightly easier. Because see,the fact that they died from HIV itself should not be the problem dn't let it be. You should not be ashamed. This disease should stopped being so overly stigmatized by blaming the victim that is fighting against it. It's a serious disease like any another that can be contracted in many ways/various circumstances and kill if left unmanaged that's all.

So no,I think the underlying issue here is the way it was contracted which ,with all due respect,I understand was the result of having unprotected multiple relationships. So I can see why you would be weary of revealing both these things to your siblings.

However, in my opinion the most important thing here is that you and your siblings know your father was a good kind hearted man.That is what you should remember and celebrate about him above all. Not the way he died only.You shouldn't be ashamed. It is very very unfortunate that he [I assume] passed it on to your mother. This happens in so many married couples where a partner is left vulnerable to infection because of another and your siblings might resent your Father for this.

They are grown adults though, so if they remember the good man that raised them I'm sure they can find the compassion within them to forgive your Dad if they do resent him,so go ahead and at least tell them because they have the right to know how their parents died. It is not shameful to lose your parents to HIV many others have and that should not obscure the memories you have of your parents.All the best.

shannaro said...

ps:oops sorry for using HIV=/=AIDS and RIP to your parents by the way.

Anonymous said...

Yuh r Jst d best....nyc reply

Anonymous said...

4 ME, EDUCATION IS WISDOM/POWER. THIS BEEN SAID, I WOULD TELL THEM SO THEY BECOME KNOWLEGDEABLE AND WISE. HIV NO BE SMALL THING O. USE IT TO EDUCATE THEM ABOUT STDS/ BIRDS AND BEES. THEY WILL THANK YOU 4 IT AND THEY IN TURN WILL SPREAD THE KNOWLEGDE OF HIV TO THEIR CHILDREN #RIPPLE EFFECT. GOD BLESS/CHEERS.

Unknown said...

It's not easy but you have to tell them the truth so you'll be at peace with yourself. It will then be up to them to accept the truth and understand why you couldn't tell them or live the rest of their lives believing in lies. Anything can happen to you tomorrow (God forbid) and your siblings still won't know the truth. They'll have to forgive you whichever way.

Anonymous said...

kia. u see how a man destroyed his own. thank God the kids didnt get the disease. all these men out there that sleep around. women too. infact even if u are only sleeping with one person outside ur home how are u sure that person hasnt contacted aids. please be careful o. stop ur evil ways. dont destroy the blessings God has given to u

Anonymous said...

The story sounds really fake. If her mum knew then she could've lived well into old age with ARVs.

Unknown said...

Since they are both adults, then treat them like adults. They deserve to know. Call them both together and tell them. I suggest you have the meeting in your house.
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Hot Cool Gist said...

Only time will tell.......! And if talks, you have no excuse to lift it out of your shoulder.!


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ebonyz... said...


So sad but the truth is you owe it to your siblings to know the truth and you guys should also get tested too. It's a tough one but you have to tell them. Wish you all the luck you need

ebonyz... said...


So sad but the truth is you owe it to your siblings to know the truth and you guys should also get tested too. It's a tough one but you have to tell them. Wish you all the luck you need

Cynhams Cakes, Abuja said...

I don't understand what the drama is here. If you don't want to tell them, keep it to yourself.
Although telling them will kind of scare them into taking precautions against STDs.

During th next remembrance of your dad or mum, call them together and let them know. No big deal.

Anonymous said...

Uve got to tell them but for the notice HIV doesn't kill Aids does.

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