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Thursday 26 May 2011

Like I said, you guys are making a difference

The lady who needed your urgent advice on whether to call off her wedding or not (click here if you missed it) just sent me an email.

How do i begin to say thank you! You dont know me from adam and you and your lovely readers have contributed immensely to my healing process. I pray God in his infinite mercies give you all that your heart desires. I have a little thank you message for your readers.. 
Read her message after the cut..

Dear All,
I am so emotional right now , i dont even know how to start!
From the bottom of my heart, i want to say a big thank you to you all.  It feels like i have shared my story with family already!

I have read all your comments and right now , i feel a kind of strength from within that i cannot explain. I have thought about  the situation over and over again and in coming to a conclusion, i asked my self 3 questions (1) Can i ever trust this man again? (2) Am i ready to live with the fact that my husband cheated on me to bring his first child into the world? (3) Am i ready to accept a strange woman and her step child as part of my family for the rest of my life? The Answer to these 3 questions is NO. Therefore , i have made up my mind to cancel the wedding to secure my eternal happiness.

I have also made up my mind to call my parents this weekend and inform them of the situation and i am sure they would agree with my decision as they want nothing but the best for me .I have also decided to give my dress and all other things i bought in preparation for the wedding to charity.

I am 28 years old, i have a fantastic job, i am in the middle of my PHD programme and above all a good Christian. I will continue to stay focused and also be prayerful and i know that the good lord that i serve and sees my heart will bring a man that deserves me my way.

Again, thank you all. I pray the good lord continue to bless, guide and protect you all. Amen

PS: Linda, God bless and protect you and may all you lay your hands upon prosper.

Amen. God bless you too and Good luck with everything.


Anonymous said...

Thank God she saw sense, it would definitely been foolish to go ahead! God bless and strengthen you as you wait.

Nenyenwa said...

My dear I am glad you thought it through, prayed about it and came up with a decision that worked for you. You don't need to suffer in a marriage. There is a reason this happened now and God will truly bring your Mr. Right :) God bless!

Onose said...

glad to hear that! wow a Ph.D at 28! yea I'd say shes pretty much a great catch :) all the best to her.

Unknown said...

Congratulations for the well thought decision. If I may ask, PhD in what and where?

camouflage said...

aww may Godbless you for making the right decision! he would send you a better person...You deserve the best...Donot let anyone treat you any lesser!! keep praying to God and at God's appointed time the right one would come your way! Amen *huggies*

Dith said...

THANK YOU for understanding your worth. I hope u keep to it tho cos your parents may actually discourage you from doing so.

Wish you all the best.

Dee dee said...

May God bless you too my dear, in fact He has already blessed you in more ways than you know! Stay strong and remember that time will heal the hurt and pain that you feel right now. You deserve better and you will find the right man for you. Whatever doesn't break us makes us stronger. Surround yourself with good friends and your family, they will help you through this tough time of healing.
After that, focus on getting that doctorate title and soaring even higher in your career. Again, you are blessed, so smile... xx

Anonymous said...

YOU GO GIRL!! I know someone will come on here and say we are encouraging you to be miserable and to them I say eh, yes. You will be gladly miserable. You are going to go through some ups and downs but down the line you will feel so much better about yourself. You deserve a man that will respect and love you and try his best to keep his pants on.

Everyone faces temptations but what separates the men from the boys are the ones that try alllll their best to overcome it. Not all men are loose, no matter what you hear. God bless and keep you dear. I pray He gives you the strength to get through this. You will meet a wonderful man soon ok.

Anonymous said...

Great decision and for us to know that you are this highly educated it is a plus and thank you for using that skill to kick the filty man out of your life for good as he was not worth the hassle never.

What is your PHd on and where are you studying? Would be starting my PHd soon and I am in my late 30ies you put me to shame LOL hahaha anyway all the best in life as it was clear the man was a gold digger from the start useless silly man his ex is welcomed to him tufia, tufia, tufiakwa dirty toe rag!!!

NaijaScorpio said...

Two thumbs up! You made the right decision.

Anonymous said...

Yaaaaaaayyyy GET IT GIRL!. I am sooo happy for you. You refused to settle for less because you are worth much more than that. Good luck my dear and yess off course, God will bring you ur life partner in due time hun. And you would give him praises everyday for making this decision now when u find MR right.:) Good luck! you are 28 u are still Young believe it or not... forget the nija society that thinks order wise. So take your time now and learn from this experience. All the best.

Anonymous said...

Thank God for you girl. God will definitely lead the right man to you.....And for some people who may not believe she's actually doing her phd, people younger than she is are already starting a phd or even rounding up...God will definitely grant you what is best for your life!

Anonymous said...

God bless you, you made the right decision. Only a foolish soul will continue with the relationship. I thank God for you. The right man, the one God want for you will come your way.

Please do you have an engagement ring, if you do go check to see if it is real in Jewelry store....if it is, pawn that shit and go shopping with that

Damisola said...

I am so happy she has finally taken a decision. I know she would be very relieved after telling her parents. At this moment family and a few close friends would be invaluable. Wish you the best.

Unknown said...

well done girl
it nice that you realize that you deserve to be HAPPY.
especially as in this part of the world, we believe that marriage is for the rest of ones life.

Anonymous said...

I would like to hear from the man.
I hope he will not wallow in miseru for the rest of his life.
He must not believe the lie that once a cheat,always a cheat.
I just hope he will find forgiveness in God and forgive himself.
We all make mistakes.
God always gives us another chance not just a second chance.
When his second chance comes (and i know it will),i hope he recognises it and deals with it with utmost care.

~Sirius~ said...

Awwwww......bless your heart. God will do exceedingly more abundantly than you can ever imagine.

Brace yourself for the hurt and the pain it's inevitable, But i know the Good Lord will be your strength.

Let us know how the parents take it.........and the "EX".......hehehe.

You'll be just fine.

Angel said...

i like ur faith and beleive, there is notthing God cannot do, He will surprise u in a miraculus way.

i thank God for the comfort He gave to u just over night, i felt for u and also included u in my prayer becuase i know what it means for such to happen to any woman.

God bless u too, keep on to ur good faith, He (God) will provide u the best hapiness forever in life Amen

E J said...

God bless u too, am so happy for u, thank God u are a christian no fear should pull u down.

You have a very bright future, relax, God send husband will so come ur way, and u'll be happy for life. cheer up.

hater said...

You made the right decision.

SOLA said...

'and above all a good Christian"


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on making a decision love. Trust me when i say that All is well that ends well. What may seem as a disappointment now will one day turn out to be a blessing. As cliche as it may sounds, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. All the best in your new future.

Anonymous said...

good to know your decision was made after going through all the comments and advice. Iv always been a big believer in doing what works for you and in this case what works for you is leaving.wish you the best and i can only hope you get to trust men again. However dont trust men too much because you never can guarantee the next one wont do something more heinous. for now just focus on YOU and do things that make YOU happy ok?

Anonymous said...

Awwwww, I feel like crying. So proud of you. May God give you the strength to carry on. He will forever regret what he did. I feel like I know you. After this ordeal. God Bless!! As a Christian, remember God first. NO fornication or moving in prior to marriage.

x x x

Anonymous said...

I was reading this and a few tears rolled down. God bless and keep you too because you have made a right decision.A man that truly deserves you will locate you soon in jesus name. you are a good writer too:)

loudmouthed said...

BEST DECISION ever. I have been in your shoes once. Just pray and be patient, God would give you the best. Sometimes you may feel like going back cause it looks easier, please don't. Trust me there is something better.

Ada said...

I know it wasn't an easy decision, but I an happy you were able to make it. May God heal your heart, and send greater love your way. All the best in life.

Shegreeny said...

Hmmm, i would still advice you talk to the man, and clear every thing, you don't know you might learn a thing or two and not let this happen again as God, is our navigator but you do the Navigating.

Anonymous said...

Hey Lady,pls sell the dress, not give it to charity.I know it may be difficult to wear at your next wedding cos it'll bring memories.But u made a wise decision to call off the wedding.

Anonymous said...

I was reading an article today on Michelle Obama, she gave this wonderful relationship advice...and for some reason i remembered you. This is what she said .."Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down.Trust your instincts... good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don't hurt. They're not painful. That's not just with somebody you want to marry, but it's with the friends that you choose. It's with the people you surround yourselves with"..... She hit the nail on the head. YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION girl. God bless you again.

Anonymous said...

good news. all the best.

and to the ppl surprised about the phd comment, well my bestfriend is 26 and currently doing her phD so its possible :)

kudos and all the best

Anonymous said...

hi there am afraid to disagree with all of you .your all like go girl its the best decision ever taken but no i totally and absolutely disagree with that decision. i am a christian and i will never tell you to leave your matrimonial home for who ? and for what ? why give her or them that pleasure and what makes u fell that if u leave it won't be worst? girl am so so sorry for what happened.come to think of it what ever happenend to for better and for worst?no body said it was ever going to be rosy . its just unfortunate that it happened at this time and could still happen later on in life but pls just take it as it happened do the best u can to fix things and like u said u are a "good" christian so let the person who put u together (God) help u in getting a solution He does it best .dont quit find it in ur heart to start again.
and to all of u who want to destroy this relation with ur over "american" ideas watch out u may one day need someone to help u put ideas together and not help destroy instead.i feel for u like i was u so pls do not leave.stand firm and see what God has in store for u and let HIM glorify Himself in ur situation. take care and let me tell u .God hates divorce and what He has put together let no man even u put assunder.
i know my comment might not sound right to u'all but thats my own way of seeing this.GOD BLESS U

Anonymous said...

@the last comment, she is not yet married, she called off the wedding and so she is not leaving any matrimonial home, or breaking any religious laws on divorce. If I was in her situation, I would do the same.

Anonymous said...

This is why it is important to read first. Anon, which matrimonial home are you referring to? The girl is leaving a man that she is not married to and you are here telling people to not preach "american" ideas.

If your husband came home with an extra child that he hid from you for a while, even that is up for debate. There is making a mistake and there is continuously insulting and disrespecting your significant other. This case is not one with a married couple. This lady has saved herself from a lifetime of hurt. Some of us on here have experienced what she experienced and we have come out better and better God ordained Spouses have found us. Please save your repressed attitude and embrace the fact that we (people in general) do not have to continue to condone a careless partner.

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