Pretty 26yr old Motunrayo Ogbara's corpse was discovered hanging from the ceiling of her sister’s residence on Allen Avenue
on Monday July 18, 2011.
They say she committed suicide because her lover jilted her, but her family members have disputed this.
Late Motunrayo had an operation last year that affected her uterus (Cyst), her womb was removed, so that contributed to her depression, which she complained a lot about and even attempted to kill herself last year but was rescued. Guess she succeeded this time around. So sad!
She finished from Queens College in 2001, was a graduate of Economics, University of Lagos and an ex-employee of Access Bank. She was buried yesterday Tuesday 19th of July at Vaults and Garden Cemetery, Ikoyi. May her soul rest in peace...amen.
192 comments:
It's very sad what happened to Motunrayo, but even sadder is the fact that it could have been avoided if only she had gotten the help she cried out for. It is the norm in our society to just have a word with someone who says they are depressed or take the person to church,when the proper thing is medication. It is even worse the way people and other bloggers have turned this sad thing to gist and her name has been dragged through every filthy mouth.
Thank you Linda,for not being as tactless as other bloggers while announcing this story.
May she find rest.
We need to take mental illness and health more seriously in this country. May we stop attributing everything to the spiritual realm and learn to treat and deal with the physical manifestations of such illnesses. May no more young people feel the need to take their own life.
If she really killed herself then thats a cowardly way out,was there nothing else to live for???look at people dying helter skelter from accidents and cancer and these people were struggling to survive and she had the effrontery to take HER OWN LIFE!!!!,OMG!!!.....im definitely sure the gates of heaven are closed on her because you cant repent or beg God for forgiveness and STILL take your own life,did you create yourself?who gave her the right to do this?.May she RIP.
This is sad but may her soul rest in perfect peace. Her man must have jilted her because she had hysterectomy. Guys sha. God will heal us from every sickness. Amin
This is so sad, may God comfort her family.
And she is such a beauty...I wonder how nobody noticed her state of mind and help her promptly with counselling...not been able to have a child or a heartbreak is never enough reason to take ones life...
She should RIP..........but pls in life if u are depressed dont commit suicide or kill your self,,bcos u would leave other people with truma......May Almighty console her family..
@FIFi SHUT YOUR STUPID TRAP UP. I hope you'll never be confronted with severe depression because your self-righteousness and lack of empathy is why no one takes mental illness seriously. WHO the fuck are you to judge? What are you sure about? I have been around severely depressed people and it's no joke at all.
RIP Motunrayo, I hope that you've finally found peace.
Wow! She really should have been closely monitored after the first time she tried to commit suicide though. *sigh* I really do hope she has found her peace.
this is so so sad. i wish someone heard her cry earlier, seemed like she had a good job, if only she'd been patient, i'm sure she would have come across someone who would love her unconditionally. condolences to her family
SAD! I FEEL FOR HER>>>>>> R.I.P
i only ask tht no one judge her and i pray we NEVER face whatever it is she faced that pushed her to take her life.
Please leave her to rest. Linda thank you for being prudent.
As a drug abuse counsellor, i know that a few right words can save a life. People generally are insensitive, we're too busy in the race of life trying to survive. She was in my church and gave a testimony a while back, this is really shocking!
Some people have been talking about taking mental health seriously, i can tell you that neither deliverance or mental therapy in any of our institutions work, i've seen both destroy lives and make things worse.
Just simple plain old fashioned LOVE people, just loving and giving a dam about people is the greatest form of therapy. RIP beautiful lady!!
this might harsh o but i dont feel sorry for her rara where did she keep God she limited the power of what he can do my aunt had this same cyst and had her womb removed today she hAS 3KIDS TWO BOYS AND A GIRL WHO SAYS THERE'S NO GOD
THERE ARE SOME NAIJA MEN WHO WHEN THEY LOVE YOU THEY DONT CARE IF YOU HAVE A KID OR NOT THIS IS NOT IT RARA AT ALL
Fifi, I don't think God gave you the permission to say who and who his gates are open to. As a matter of fact,your comment just put you in his bad books so maybe YOU, should look towards repenting. Everyone has been appreciative of the fact that she had an illness like cancer or and other disease that could take a life, but you let your shallow mindset get the better of you and you posted that brainless comment.
May God have mercy on you or maybe NOT!!
Late Motunrayo had an operation last year that affected her uterus (Cyst), her womb was removed, so that contributed to her depression, which she complained a lot about and even attempted to kill herself last year but was rescued. Guess she succeeded this time around. So sad!
Contributed to her depression NOT caused her to kill herself. Ask God to forgive you for judging.
Au sad....May her soul RIP n may God comfort her family
Sad story!
And to think some people have womb and still can't conceive; while some have no womb and still become mothers!
Life aint fair, babes gave up on herself? Kai!
i dock my hat for you Linda for confirming this story before posting as i know her family and heard the story @ about 9am monday morning.....you sure are indeed the best blogger in Nigeria
Sad story, if she thought about her family and loved ones she wouldnt have taken her own life. In my own opinion, suicide is a selfish act.
Human beigns are wired to survive
.....my heart goes out to her family members, I cant even imagine how they are feeling right now
So sad, so painful. I'm in tears!
I feel very sorry for her and her family but don't at all condone what she's done. Suicide is not the way out of any problem, she should have known better as she wasn't a kid or teenager. She should have known that in this modern day there are options, she could adopt and there is surrogacy though not popular in our culture. She should have been given help and I blame noone but her family for this. Monitoring her closely obviously did not work, why was she left at home by herself when she was being "closely monitored"? It's a shame you had to take this route Motunrayo and take your own life, I am extremely angered by that, you really should have known better. I wish I could say "rest in peace" or "may she find rest" like the others but we all know the consequences of taking one's own life. I hope this is a lesson to us as a society, maybe it will help us rethink the way we look at depression as just a feeling. It's an illness and something one cannot just snap out of. I really feel for Motunrayo, shame the guy, who directly or indirectly is the reason for your action has now moved on with his life and you are now no more. Real shame. Suicide is not an option, there is always another solution to any problem.
If only the inability to have a child was not such a stigma in this country!!!
I'm not going to judge, i'll just say to the ladies: start exploring the option of adoption. Just because you gave birth to a child biologically doesn't make you a mother! It's in opening up your heart to love a child freely that makes you a mother. SELAH!
May those she left behind be comforted like only God can..amen.
Who r we to jugde, Turayo Ogbara RIP,I pray Almighty forgives Ɣ☺ΰ and grant Ɣ☺ΰ eternal rest...
RIP Motunrayo Ogbara.... May God Almighty forgive Ɣ☺ΰ and grant Ɣ☺ΰ eternal peace
May her family find peace in God... I'm so disturbed by this...
It’s not written on anyone’s face what they are going through. The most important thing is to speak up. Even if you don’t trust those around you, speak to people outside of your zone. Kind of like the stories people bring to your blog and other media Agony Aunts.
No matter what, suicide is never the option. People who feel suicidal say they hear voices inside them. There’s so much to love for. Life is so good! Like a commentator said here, removing a cyst should not be the end of the world and miracles do happen. Plus, she could have adopted kids.
There are salacious stories going on about her, but let her just RIP.
I wonder if she’s from Ikorodu. The Ogbaras are from there.
From a fellow OGQC and ex-UNILAG student, may God help us all.
Such a pretty girl.
I feel very sorry for her and her family but don't at all condone what she's done. Suicide is not the way out of any problem, she should have known better as she wasn't a kid or teenager. She should have known that in this modern day there are options, she could adopt and there is surrogacy though not popular in our culture. She should have been given help and I blame noone but her family for this. Monitoring her closely obviously did not work, why was she left at home by herself when she was being "closely monitored"? It's a shame you had to take this route Motunrayo and take your own life, I am extremely angered by that, you really should have known better. I wish I could say "rest in peace" or "may she find rest" like the others but we all know the consequences of taking one's own life. I hope this is a lesson to us as a society, maybe it will help us rethink the way we look at depression as just a feeling. It's an illness and something one cannot just snap out of. I really feel for Motunrayo, shame the guy, who directly or indirectly is the reason for your action has now moved on with his life and you are now no more. Real shame. Suicide is not an option, there is always another solution to any problem.
SHE WAS ALSO A POSTGRADUATE (MASTERS) STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF BRISTOL. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO GRADUATE IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS. I'M SO SAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! I REMEMBER US SPENDING DAYS IN THE STUDY ROOM...:(
very sad.
I think a lot of Nigerians have lost their sensitivity chip, so many mean comments, if you don't have anything positive to say, please say nothing.Also remember that she has a family that has to deal with this. May her soul rest in peace, only God can judge.
@Fifi STFU May u never experience wjatever she was goin thru...u have no right to judge a dead person...abi are u the one that will go to heaven. U have no right to decide who God will let through his gates.
Bloody hell, no man is worth suicide. In fact, nothing is worth suicide!
Based on the story doing the rounds, they should check the house out well to make sure no one got into the house, killed her and then hanged her to make it look like suicide. Uche Okafor comes to mind. Some people are that wicked.
Such a babe! Why oh why. I wish her rest, but God will have a say here.
@Fifi, why dont you keep your judgmental comments to yourself? and instead of worrying about whether or not the gates of heaven are closed to her, why dont you make your that you yourslef will make it to heaven first??
God knows how best to deal with everthing sha. I just feel really bad for her family and friends
linda please read stella's blog to read the supposed reason they said she killed herself
real sad!
May we not see what we cannot handle, we all have our limits, he who wears the shoe knows where it hurts.
Such a pity. My prayers are with her family at this time. A couple of issues are raised from this article. Firstly, we need to realise in 9ja that depression is not something you just wish away. It has to be tackled and in the appropriate manner....either through your General Practitioner or a qualified Psychotherapist.
Secondly, not being able to carry a child should not be the be-all and end-all. There are so many alternatives now and women should stop this guilt trip and stop punishing themselves but instead, speak to close friends and also, research alternatives.
@Anonymous 10.26,you are a BLOODY MYOPIC FOOL!!!!!!!!!...NOOOOO go and commit suicide when u have a part of your body removed or your boyfriend or girlfriend leaves you,i have a right to be angry because i have lost people to more serious ailments and these people so badly wanted to live despite their sicknesses and horrible accidents and here im reading about someone killing herself because she had a hysterectomy or because a stupid man left her...i totally understand what depression does to people but her reasons to kill herself is totally not understandable by me.......ANONYMOUS 10.26 DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH YOU,I PITY THOSE DEPRESSED PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN AROUND YOU,YOU PROBABLY ADDED TO THEIR DEPRESSION..
RIP DEAR, wow.i have suffered from depression before, but i have no balls to take mi life,may the good lord rescue us all, amen
Fifi: You are an idiot. Pls shut up and don't speak anymore. What do you know about depression? Are you Angel Gabriel that admits people through the pearly gates? Foolish person.
May her soul rest in peace.
This is really sad. i pray God comforts her family and may she rest in peace.Amen. my advice for people with issues and problems please have faith in God for there is nothing too much for him to do.
pele motunrayo, may God console ur family.
she shldnt av commited sucide now.
am so so sorry for her family
this is extremely sad an what makes it even more heartbreaking is that people just say harsh things.it could have been anyone. please no one should get all self righteous even the greatest people who have walked thru this earth have at some point had great BUTS. the fact that they scaled thru is at the mercy of God and no one else. Depression is real let no man kid you.
i have been a victim of depression. the devil sells you a lie at that point and nothing seems important. life can be very overwhelming and even heartbreak can reduce the strongest heart to suicide. just remember in everything pain is but for a while, what doesnt kill you would make u stronger and when that moment comes please pray. prayer works and surround yourself with positive people.
we need more forums to encourage ourselves. before anyone makes any brash comment think of the fact she has siblings and they are in terrible pain.
THIS IS NOT JIST IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU!
Motunrayo R.I.P.May the lord bless you and keep you safe in his bossom and may he be with your loved one's left behind.
This is just so sad....May her soul find rest!
so sad really i must say
Motunraya rest in peace!!!
may Motunrayo rest in PEACH!!!!
AMEN!!!
@ FIfi @ Anonymous 10:37am Are you God to tell her that the gate of heaven is closed to her?And really with your harsh comments and judgemental self you think the gate of heaven is opened to you? We should just pray that we are not faced with circumstances that make us want to take our lives. God does not think like you.God is not man, God is not man who said she cannot go to heaven.The same God said that we will all be surprised at the people that will make it to heaven. Who said he cannot forgive?God is the only one who knows it all.If Peter who saw live demonstration of miracles and was Jesus's most trusted disciple could deny him then the rest of us are hopeless.
Stop being such insensitive sanctimonious jerks!
Motunrayo, my love, my friend, my sister....Words cannot begin to express how I feel. I feel partly responsible as I never really understood how you felt. No matter how much you tried to let me in. I never realised how much baggage you were carrying all by yourself. Maybe I shouldn`t have encouraged you to move back to Nigeria. Maybe if I didnt, you will still be here today. I look around my house and I see you everywhere. Its really sad that out of ignorance people say what they dont know. Those of us who were privileged to have been part of your life know that no natter what mistakes you made, you were a wonderful person and its was an honour to have you in our lives.
Ill forever hold you close to my heart. May your soul rest in peace.
The devil is a liar and there is no truth in him. This poor girl died for nothing. The times are becoming increasingly evil. Therefore "let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (1 Cor10.12). It is time for us all to put on the whole armour of God "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion is walking about, seeking whom he may devour" (1st Peter 5:8).
It's a pity she took her own life, i guess she lost all hope and her loved ones didn't help either, there's this young neighbour of mine who tried committing suicide in 2003 through poisoning, i heard of that and gave him some inspirational books to read, he overcame the depression and moved on with life, only for him to be killed by a hit and run driver in Awka 2years later when he went to visit his girlfriend.Death isn't something you wish yourself.May her soul rest in peace.
I did not know that cyst operation could remove the womb because I know women that had cyst removed and they still gave birth to children. RIP!
Call this anything you like but anyone who commits suicide to run away from problems and as a way of finding rest has just been sold a lemon by satan himself!I pray that people learn from this sad event and realise that the very answer to life's problems is not in our worldly posessions and finding the "perfect" boy/girlfriend. It is in finding the time in our so called "busy schedules" to creat time in our lives for Christ Jesus.
May her soul rest in peace. We indeed have to learn to reach out to our loved ones in depression, show love and concern and try to help them out of their situations...I dnt agree our hospitals dont work, i have 2 family members who sought help from depression and are on medication and they are doing great now, yes they have occasional crisis but they arent dead....we need to look out for our loved ones.
RIP..
I used to think Nigerians don't commit suicide until i started considering killing myself recently.
Na God o!
you look at a fine girl like this with a good pedigree and you wonder why she would kill herself?
I am in a similar shoe.God help us!!
Fifi,please crawl back into the hole you crawled out of.
I feel soo sad for her .. There are soo many women that have had their wombs removed because of cysts or other medical issues. They dont kill themselves . However, i dont blame her but our society and the stigma surrounding a woman that cannot have children . She could have adopted a child and made a great mother . The fact that a woman does not carry a baby for 9 months does not mean she cannot be a mother.
I know of a woman that was married for over 7 yrs and couldnt have children . She ended up adopting a little girl from the east that looked exactly like her. She loves that baby to death and no one even questions that the baby might not be biological to her. She just got pregnant and is due in Nov :) .
DEATH is not an option!!! What about people that have cancer and those that dont have legs or eyes to see .. We need to learn to see a blessing in every tough situation . Her blessing was that she could have been a blessing to wonderful baby (maybe an orphan) by adopting and in turn been blessed by the Lord . R.I.P Motunrayo.
Rest in peace Motunrayo. God doesn't turn anybody away as he alone knows what we hold in our hearts.
@ Yemisi 1.23pm, may God give you the strength you need to carry on without your loved one but she is with you always. You did the best that you could at the time, do not regret.
As Olukunle 10.35am said, unconditional LOVE (for our friends & family)is as important although ancillary to therapy or medicinal treatments which also assist greatly in many cases of depression. Trying not to judge our loved ones and being open to communication is where we should start. DEPRESSION is real and is often underestimated because we are unable to measure or read the contents of peoples minds.
anon 1:58 am Please dont try that with yourself. No situation is worth it. Time heals everything. Motunrayo God will bless you and accept you in his bosom in Jesus name. It was not worth it. You were pretty and could have found a better man and adopted. Even a lot of this fellow Lagos big girls dont even care to have a child.
Hanging from the ceiling> I dont even kow how to tie a rope that will hold a goat not to talk of hanging myself! Gosh
Anon 10.26 please shut up about depression. Please lemme hear... Is she the only one who is fighting a battle. It is callous and selfish to kill yourself and to expose ur parents to that kind of pain and your family to that ridicule.
So please let us hear.
Everyone in Nigeria is depressed.
We dont go around hanging ourselves or choppin up our spouses.
There is no excuse what so ever! so please dont justify suicide.
She obviously didnt care about her parents reputation when she hung herself so WHY SHOULD WE?
Funmi sharap. The word of God has already judged her so fifi is ot sayin anything new. If u kill ur seld you go to hell.
Or are you saying the Bible tells lies?
If not then you know that she cant make heaven so pls stop acting
We are all doing fine . For whatever reason the fact remains that she is gone . So to all those that do not have much to say and just want a few minutes of glory please keep your foolish In-sensitive comments to yourself.
Linda i love your blog and i am on it daily i was in shock to open it up to see my sister today . Please for right now please grant me this favor can you please take it down, just for right now . May God continue to bless you and keep up the good work.
Its so sad, to think each and every1 of us ve our own demon.... I feel suicidal most times, and the only thing stopping me is the fear of the unknown, if I knw wht d will happen to my soul afterwards m sure I will be one of the statistics. I don't want to suffer on Earth and still suffer wherever I will be going to... If I do take my life.. Cos then it will be a worse regret that ll never be corrected.
So I try to live everyday, and hope change comes to end my suffering. May her Soul Rest In PEACE.
well, i think we shld not allow sentiment to cloud our sense of reasoning. But she shldnt av bowed out like tht. there are many pple with worse stories, yet they live on. Rem present situations doesn't make our tmrw.(i really felt sorry for her o dnt get me wrong). May her soul rest in peace.
WHY ARE YOU ALL JUMPING ON FIFI THE BIBLE HAS ALREADY CAST JUDGEMENT. IF YOU KILL YOU CANT SEE THE KINGDOM OF GOD.. SO IF THAT IS THE CASE FIFI IS NOT JUDGING ANYONE SHE IS JUST REPEATING WAT THE BIBLE HAS ALREADY SAID.
YOU GUYS ARE JUST PRETENDING. IMAGINE IF IT WAS YOUR SISTER WONT YOU BE PISSED AS HELL.
I CAN IMAGINE HER MOTHER CRYING.. SHE DIDNT EVEN PITY ME..... CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE THAT? WHEN YOU THINK OF DOING ANYTHING IN BOUTS OF SORROW YOU THINK OF YOUR LOVED ONES.
I AM A MOTHER.. I CAN DIE FOR MY CHILD SO IMAGINE
HALLE BERRY WANTED TO KILL HERSELF ONCE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID.. SHE SAID SHE COULD NOT LET HER MOTHER IDENTIFY HER DEAD BODY.. THAT WOULD KILL HER MOTHER....
SHE THEN STEPPED OUT OF THE CAR AND SWITCHED OFF THE ENGINE. DO U THINK SHE WASNT DEPRESSED? HAS HER LIFE GOTTEN EASIER? NO!!!
BUT WE STRUGGLE.. WE STRUGGLE FOR OUR FAMILY.. FOR THE PPL WHO WILL LIVE ON OUR TESTIMONIES... FOR THE HOPE OF A BTEER TOMORROW.
MY DEAR FRIENDS WE CAN DECIEVE OURSELVES ALL WE WANT.. BUT WHEN THAT GIRL TOOK HER OWN LIFE. JUDGEMENT WAS PASSED.
I AM SENDING A LETTER OF LOVE TO HER PARENTS... MAY GOD HELP TUNRAYO'S PARENTS
As someone who has suffered from depression myself, my heart goes out to this girl. Mental illness is a REAL problem, and the average Nigerian needs to realize this. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Nigerians are so ignorant.
There are still idiots coming here to say she killed herself because of a man.Don't you have a brain to comprehend anything?
Do you know what depression is? Do you understand it is an illness? Do you understand severe depression makes you lose sense of rational thinking? Do you understand depression takes away your will to live? Do you understand depression eats away you soul? Do you understand it takes control over your being?
If you do, you'll understand what this girl went through.
Rather than see this as gist, please learn from it. Forget about what people will think or say. Your right to life and happiness should push you to seek help. It should push you to offer help to someone in need.
May God bless and guide our mouths and out steps
Pls pple, Fifi is just giving her opinion based on wht she believes to be right, she is right in a way. If u are accusing her of judging, wht exactly are u doing with her comment?.Pls peeps, we shld reflect on this occurrence and learn from it, pls dnt turn it into something else. U've all said ur piece, allow othrs to share their unbiased opinion.May God console her family.
Ps to those who talk ill about what happened to her: because you cannot phantom it doesnt make it unreal. Depression is a seriou case, and it a disease that knows no boundaries, country, age, sex, class or status.
It's a very serious issue and even worse because you cannot easily identify it unless the victim is willing to talk which is often not the case, unless you look at cues and stuff.
The best thing is to let your loved ones know how much they mean to you...or how much you appreciate them, in words and action. It may save a life, cos you really never know what they are going through.
EXCUSE ME----for interrupting but I am a cousin of Motunrayo and these comments made on this blog are offensive to read. Obviously blogger’s source never met my cousin in her life. Quote “…she finally succeeded”??? Please remove these cruel and insensitive comments. My cousin deserves RESPECT in her LIFE and RESPECT in her DEATH—can you not blog or say something GOOD about her. My cousin was a good human being who was kind and loving, respectful towards others.
Only God himself knows what happened to my cousin and what lead her to this point. As for the other negative posts we are nobody to judge somebody else’s soul---PLEASE LET MY COUSIN SOUL REST IN PEACE.
At a younger age,for a reason i cant explain, i tried to commit suicide.It isnt for any one to judge her, but to learn from what happened to her,pray & show more concern for people around you who at some point or the other have had cause to be extremely depressed.
May the Lord grant her soul rest & strengthen her family thru this sad time,IJN Amen.
1st & Furmost, FUCK YOU FIFI!! U should b Hung! Piece of shit hiss...
So yea, This is so sad. I still cant wrap my head around this. If Motun were my friend she would've still been alive. U just never know wat ppl r goin through, she smiled alot, she was cool ppls. Nigerians need to start having therapy sessions o. Especially when they dont have good close friends they can confide in. Sum pppl would rather not share their issues with ppl they know.
It takes alot 2 kill oneself, its a very Bold move; that boldness is wat she needed to live... Mayb her soul rest in RIP now.... She would b missed.
Roselineeeeee sorry about your loss but shouldnt you be comforting your parents rather than browsing comments on a blog.
Just saying... when i lost a loved one i didnt even have the strength to eat not to talk of caring about what ppl thought OR talk of posting a comment.
\
once again sorry oooo
@ Fifi 10.14am....dont be quick to judge!
Just like Funmi said, depression should actually be taken a lot more seriously than it is done in this country.
Do you reckon that this beautiful girl was in her right and complete mind when she killed herself, in the worst way ever! i feel so sad for her, and her family too because this could have been avoided....
She killed herself!!! Now dats just nasty. I have been taught to belive that if you kill yourself, it's a straight ticket to hell. Hope she is not there sha... But let's be honest it was extreamly stupid and foolish of her. I have no pity what so ever for her. Mark.
sad if she really did commit suicide regardless of whatever the situation is,her soul is in hell right now.but i pray she didn't take her life
I can't even judge cos I was wherever she was last weekend and the only thing that stopped me was the how. A few months ago I won't have believed it possible to sink this low but it happens. You know the right things, sometimes u fight hard to get out from under the dark cloud but it's not as easy as it seems. May none of u ever be in that position. R.I.P Motunrayo.
i think we should all google "the removal of womb" and its after effects, before sitting on our judgement thrones and sending this girl to hell....
People get treated for depression after some stuff happen to them. i think most of us dont understand that depression(the real one) is not child's play. the human being has no control over the feeling going through them. A lot of times, they have to be treated not just with councelling and talks, but also with hormones!!!
I feel soooo sorry for this family that lost their daughter. meanwhile, i believe we should get off our judgement thrones and leave GOD to decide where she will go.
May her soul rest in peace!!!
For anyone who is afraid to talk to someone, I urge you to visit this blog for the following reasons:
1.It is a Christian motivational blog
2. It has comforted me, given me strength and the will to move on in very difficult times.
3. It is not judgmental (no fire burn all enemies, die die die)
4. I promise you, you will read and find peace in your heart
5. YEs it is a naija blog
6.No it is not my blog, just one i visit.
http://wailawaits.wordpress.com/
Roseline....sorry about your sis.
Soooooo....despite the fact that Linda stressed that her family disputed the "lover gist"; people are sha still hanging on to it, cos it helps them justify the "judgements".
People people people....it time to pray!
May we never see depression in Jesus name.
RIP Motunrayo!
so life is not worth living if you cna't have kids or what's the insinuation of this suicide by this young lady? again, the more nigerians move forward and be open minded that marriage and having kids is not all a woman is called to do in this world, the better and more peace we will find,. RIP tunrayo
i have this friend that almost comitted suicide she hated herself, i dont know what her problem was cos she is v.beautiful, intelligent, she is too friendly, too humble asin she is extra nice....i thank God she was rescued. she gave her life to christ and God has used her to bless me on several occassions. i cant imagine my life here without her...i thank God for her. I thank God that she acknowledges the pain that her parents, siblings, friends would go through if she does it again. she is much better now..i thank God sha i just wish someone was there to save motunrayo, the same way my friend was saved :( btw while reading the comments on this post i rem the txt my friend sent me somedays bck and she was like she is frustrated with uni cos she has to start all over again from her 2nd yr...meanwhile this is someone that got into uni before me while ild be graduating next yr, she maynot graduate till 2014...i had to call her up immediately to advise her and give her reasons to be happy....cos i heard she has lost weight she is starving herself and all....i just pray she sees a reason to thank God in her situation as 1thessalonians5:18 says.
As much as i dnt like the way Fifi posted his comment, i'd agree with him. I used to suffer from depression in my teens; voices telling u to jst do it, pain seemed sweet, like a release....it was horrible! But I found Jesus! And today, my life is better. Suicide shld never be an option. RIP Rayo!
The only lesson we should learn from this is that mental sickness is a big issue. Poor Motunrayo.
@FIFI, I WAS DEPRESSED FOR FOUR YEARS, DIDNT even know it was depression till I got better, i did HAVE MY MOM TO LIVE FOR SHE WAS THE ONLY REAL REASON I didnt jump off my school building, its sad to know people dont understand that its depression they just think you are not upbeat. Pls when u notice a friend is
you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
you feel hopeless and helpless
you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
you are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual
you’re consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior
you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)
@ all lets try and show love i our busy lives, call that person that really needs to talk, check on that someone and show u care now, it may be too late tomorrow. we all have our burdens, but ur helping someone else may also her urs.
I don't think if she were your relative or you knew her personally you will pass Judgement. God is the Judge, its his prerogative where Motunrayo will be!RIP Motunrayo.
Anon 10:26 here.
Is suicide selfish - YES ABSOLUTELY. I have a friendship that was ruined when my friend attempted suicide and saw the pain her parents went through even though SHE realized what she was putting them through and couldn't help herself. She had A LOT going for her too.
But she got help and though she still has issues, she's living a healthy and happy life now.
The operative point here is that she had help. I witnessed how ravaging mental illness can be, how dark and ugly the pit of despair can be. While I cannot personally understand the urge, I have EMPATHY with clinically depressed/bipolar people and it saddens and makes me angry when people are so holier than thou and judgmental. Suicide happens a lot in Nigeria, mental illness is stigmatized and people hide behind their bible to berate people. Mental illness is a disease as much as cancer is and it brings havoc to families in much the same way
Again Motunrayo rest in peace and I hope your pain has been taken away from you.
P.S. how boring it would be to be in a heaven with all these sanctimonious people.
anon 2:47, i made the comment in 1:58pm,i feel exactly like you do.Where i will go is not even my biggest worry.It is the huge void that i will leave in the life of my 5 yr old daughter that just stops me.If i did not have her,this Motunrayo girl would have just been copying my moves.
I look good outside but this world just tire me sometimes.
God dey!!
@Anon 2.54pm you are Blessed Ojare!!!....judgment was already passed as soon as she took her life and i only echoed it out loud,its in the Bible,taking her life is as good as her committing murder just so y'all be aware......May she Rip.....i feel for her family.
@anon 1.58pm
pls no matter what you are going through right now
I beg you in the name of God to banish the thought of killing yourself pls
even though I dont know you I took time to pray for you this afternoon
Be strong.
@motunrayo
Sun Re o
@anon 2.54pm
I have killed oh....Ive had at least 4 abortions
I am not proud of it
dont say because I have killed ,I will go to hell
God has already forgiven me and I know that BUT I will never do it again
just saying...............
This is a very sad event that happened! The truth is that I was once of the belief that anyone that kills him/herself is going to hell and so will everyone that lies, steals, fornicates, commits adultery and so on and so forth! We have all sinned and continue to sin so we should not judge. Those accusing fifi are also judging. Now as a physician, I now understand the gravity of depression and what it entails. It can cause one to commit suicide and the risk even increases more if the person has attemted it before. For the fact that she has attempted it before, she should have been on a close observation and more importantly on medication because it really helps. She probably would faired better in UK than Nigeria bc Nigerians are still very naive about depression. Yes church and love help but she should have been seeing a therapist. Her death is just due to ignorance. Now, there are many options for people that need help having a baby. You can always adopt, your husband's sperm can be used for a surrogate mother for people without wombs, and there are fertility drugs and so on and so forth. if you know that nothing is worth dying for, it will make it a little easier but depression is a dz that can be ongoing for a long time. For the anonymous that is considering suicide, please seek help urgently and start on meds and therapy sessions and you will see, it does get easier. Prayers and love can be additive to the medicine. This is not to be taken lightly at all. Now God knows how to judge, its not meant for us to judge so may her soul rest in peace and may God comfort the family she left behind.
@Bee:
Thank you for making it unnecessary for me to address the myopic, parochial, nescient, captious, and just plain ignorant wannabe-pedants that prattle on in misguided self-righteous drivel, understanding neither the facts of the case nor the gravity of mental illness nor that depression changes brain chemistry.
@wannabe pedants:
I do hope you one day get a taste of clinical depression. Maybe then you'll be more understanding of the plight of so many suffering from this disease.
SUCIDE is not always an option... says who?
Its a pity that alot of people are still ignorant and GOD help us all..when one is chronically depresed, nothing..absolutely nothing feels right...it takes alot of counselling (both spiritual and man made and MEDICATION to support the individual...
Depression is a killer, a no hope, unhappy feeling...dieing seem to be the only way out to get out of the feeling....and it can happen to ANYONE..you dont have to be barren or sick to be depressed, Last year , a German goalkeeper committed sucide and ull wonder why? he was rich, married and had kids..the list goes on...
Depression is a mental health issue..
and so to all the Judges/Critics of Motunrayo here, I pray that you or anyone you know does not fall in the trap of Depression ..
..then again WHY NOT? they say experience is the best teacher.........
@fifi,how can you confirm she is going to hell and aske her to RIP in the next breath?
you see why i asked you to crawl back into that hole?
This is so sad!!!!i know she would've gone through a lot but suicide is obviously not an option.I still wonder why she had to go through it all alone.Few words would've done a lot.
yes indeed FIFI confirmed her going to hell then says RIP. What a joke.
There are times and places for everything. We need to be careful about what we say. For someone to commit suicide, the person had reached a low point where thoughts of the parents, the loved one etc is not what they think about. How do we know she didn't think -- o let me commit suicide to relieve my family of this stigma.
We don't walk in the same shoes. If I had my womb removed, I would be miserable but I know enough to explore possibilities of medical science or adopt a child.
Obviously she needed help and she didn't get it. Now people turn around to judge her.
To the person who has the abortion> i thank God you lived to repent but know that some ppl have died on the abortion table and by Biblical standards cant make heaven because of murder.
Please be strong and if you happen to get pregnant again. Keep the baby. i know you can do it. Lots of love to you.
Linda I am a Psychiatrist working in U.K/Ireland and all I can say is that she was clinically depressed and nobody recognised it because ignorance is what rules in Nigeria. If you are taking the postgraduate exams in psychiatry and ask every single possible question about depression without asking about suicide, then you are bound to fail , no matter what. People like Fifi feel holier than thou and express their ignorance because of the restrictions they have imposed upon themselves!!!!! Clinical depression is not about feeling down in your mood. It is deeper than that and people can become PSYCHOTIC when depressed and I mean it.This should be used as an opportunity for our health services in Nigeria to wake up!!! This pretty , beautiful girl was failed by us - the Great Nigerian society. I rest my case!!!!
why would she take her life just bcos she lost her womb? is there no such thing as adoptions aymore? when things like this happen, it not the end of the world. there are many men that will still see her despite her problems and still want to be her. i understand how frustrated that she may have been. but still i am strongly against the fact that a beautiful lady who had a promising future wud jst waste her life like it has no meaning
May Motunrayo's soul find rest in the Lord.
At a young age of about 7years I contemplated suicide. I actually took a knife to bed to try to kill myself, I suffered maltreatment from my mum. The sharp pain of the knife on my tummy made me shout and throw the knife away.
Please don't judge her...
@Fifi,you don't know a person state of mind until you walk in their shoes and take different action till then refrain from words like this:"If she really killed herself then thats a cowardly way out, was there nothing else to live for???" Since you are so sure gate of heaven is closed on her, can you tell me if the gate of heaven will be open for you when you die.
This is such a sad news, my prayer goes to the entire ogbara family for God to comfort them in this griefing period. Only God knows what made a young lady with bright future to commit suicide. Motunrayo rest in peace!
Note: Please if you don't have any positive things to write,please keep your negative comments to yourself and show respect for death and her family.
to everyone that feels sorry for her i think she was really stupid to take her own life!!!! Wetin she go tell God when she see am ! she Go say God its because i have no womb that is why i killed myself or my boyfriend left me! what an ass!! Feel sorry for here family thou
Nigerians have a long way to go.people that hide behind christianity are the worst, they use God to say the worst of things to other people. Please learn from this when somebody is in the stage of depression seek help for the person cos some don't know they are depress. learn more about depression before you say anything.educate yourself please since u have computer to type shit. ordinary problems u tell people they tell u; u are not the only one going tru stuff, some can deal wit things some cannot. learn to listen to people instead of cutting them off to talk about ur self. we 9ja are soo harsh and mean
MOTUNRAYO,DAUGHTER OF GOD, REST IN PERFECT PEACE.
Roseline and the rest of the family, accept my deepest sympathy at this trying time. However, I think rather than Linda taking this post down , you all take some time off Nigerian focused "internet". A week will do.
If anything, Motunrayo's passing might help someone out there to talk about their suicidal thoughts and seek appropriate help.Or might make a family member pay closer attention to a vulnerable individual. This just could save a life.
This will also open up the dialogue about mental illness.You cannot just only pray it all away /conduct deliverance/seek alternative spiritual help for most people.
Mental illness is no joke.
Some people can live a "normal" life controlled by PROPER and ADEQUATE medication (this is very important), therapy, diet, exercise and meditation or a combination of those and more.
Depression is real, it is a mental illness, and just like diabetes, can be managed, and increase an individual's quality of life.
As you can see from the comments, a lot of people are still ignorant about these issues.
Anderson Cooper's brother was clinically depressed and he jumped off the balcony in front of his mother,Gloria Vanderbilt, the designer, he was getting treated.Mental illness is no respecter of social status or how good the life you are living is perceived. It can happen to ANYBODY, at any time especially at a VULNERABLE period in your life
Mental illness, HIV/AIDS, diabetes, cancer are all illnesses and the more we talk about these things, the more the stigma attached will decrease and eventually be eliminated.
A family member had a psychotic break recently and even though we live abroad and his father is a psychiatrist, his episode was and is still being swept under the carpet and he has "talks" on the side with his father's colleague, so to keep it hush hush.
A bright, beautiful,loved contributing member of society is gone ,a child is gone, a sister is gone, an aunt is gone,a friend is gone. People are hurting. Show some sensitivity for goodness sake.
Sorry for the long comment , as you can see this hits close to home.
MOTUNRAYO OGBARA, OMO JESU, SUN RE OOOOOO.
NANKO
Upon death, there is only one judge of our actions - God. Till then, to each his own. This is a difficult time for her family and close friends. Peeps, please let her soul rest, let her family mourn.
RIP Mots!!!
It's so sad. Just as som1 has said,depressn is no respecter of courage. It takes ctrl of one's whole being. It only subsides wn ppl r arnd u bt get deeper wn u r alone. I'm a victim, i kno aw it feels. D only tin dt kips ringin in ur ear is "get free, fly away, end it all". But if God help u n make His fear deeply rooted in ur hrt, u'l neva attempt suicide. Cos it's against d injunctns of our Creator. As i was tot in my religious class dt, he wu takes his own lyf wil neva smell paradise. God knos all. I pray God grant d family d 4ti2d 2 bear d irreparable loss. Pls my peeps, neva tink of suicide as d only way out. Move closer 2 ur God. No mata aw mountaineous ur probs are, rmemba God is high above evrytin. so sad. Just as som1 has said,depressn is no respecter of courage. It takes ctrl of one's whole being. It only subsides wn ppl r arnd u bt get deeper wn u r alone. I'm a victim, i kno aw it feels. D only tin dt kips ringin in ur ear is "get free, fly away, end it all". But if God help u n make His fear deeply rooted in ur hrt, u'l neva attempt suicide. Cos it's against d injunctns of our Creator. As i was tot in my religious class dt, he wu takes his own lyf wil neva smell paradise. God knos all. I pray God grant d family d 4ti2d 2 bear d irreparable loss. Pls my peeps, neva tink of suicide as d only way out. Move closer 2 ur God. No mata aw mountaineous ur probs are, rmemba God is high above evrytin.
She killed herself because of what now?...because of a man or because she felt she can't have kids? Dats just selfish and stupid!
God is gonna be soo mad at YOU!!!
May her soul rest in peace,i never knew her but my heart went out to her family..in my opinion i think she had no real support system,i woke up to R.I.P Motunrayo on my B.B and i wondered how many of these people really cared about her?when people r going through hard times most people stand by d side making slide remarks,some gossip and laugh to ur face,some frustrate them more by being outrightly mean to them and then now ask why did she commit sucide?maybe all she really needed was someone who would listen to her and say to her i understand what your going through,a tight hug might have helped.someone could have told her she was beautiful and had more to live for,someone could have told her there was always light at the end of the tunnel...the question is how many of us are true friends?how many of us give our friends the shoulder to lean on when they really need us? How many of us wont go behind them and spill their secrets to other people?life aint easy for no one,i ve gone through 6 months of depression,i ve drank myself to sleep a zillion times,i ve asked God why meloads of times,i ve blamed the world for my problems.i might cry myself to sleep every night but luckily i would never think of sucide...am not gon blame the poor girl for taking her life coz no one really knew what she was going through but i would pray that may God help me to be their for others when tbey really need me,may he help me be the good friend i should be.Rip n adieu beautiful woman and i hope you are finally at peace......
I aM 28 years old if I count all the times ave had my period it's more than ten times since 1999its frustrating and scares me cos am concerned about having children but it is not enough for me to hurt myself ...I know people who medically didn't have a womb but when GOD DECIDED THEY HAD CHILDREN HABA.WHAT WILL SHE TELL GOD COS NA SIN OH IT'S NOT LIKE AM JUGING OH
Reading the comments on this blog just made me realise how insensitive people can be, most especially nigerians. Little wonder why she felt she had to take that route. In death, she is mocked so i cant imagine how she could have opened up to anyone when she was alive and be taken seriously.
I'm deeply saddened by this and my heart cries for her parents and loved ones. may they find grace in this time to bear the loss.
For anyone who's going through hard times, the world might seem like a dark, cold and lonely place..but hold on, with every ounce of strength you have because most certainly every situation eventually comes to PASS...
God bless you all.xx
For all those judging this dead soul, have youconsidered the living? Considered that her parents who ar emourning willcome across this blog and see wht you have written about htier precious dead child?
You prolly truly need forgiveness more than she.
May her soul rest in perfect peace.
Fifi this...Fifi that....i will still stand by my words that killing herself was not supposed to be an option, SHE SINNED AGAINST HEAVEN AND EARTH.....TAKING YOUR LIFE IS AS GOOD AS COMMITTING MURDER!!GOD FORGIVING HER IS TOTALLY BETWEEN HER AND GOD..TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!
I've read some of the comments here and now I know why Nigerian Christians are the most hypocritical human beings on this green earth. My goodness! An agnostic could go through some of the comments here and justify why he/she won't set foot in a church.
If God was looking for someone to appoint as a judge, He'll find plenty pf them here.
@Fifi and all the other 'bible thumping Christianity freaks' here, remember the same bible that said anyone who commits suicide will not see heaven, also said 'Judge not so you shall not be judged'
Una own dey wait for una for front.
The almighty God is doing very fine being a judge and doesn't need any help from the likes of you guys!
I don't think I have ever commented on this blog, but after reading these comments I am compelled to.
I didn't know this young woman but I have had the opportunity to talk to so many women who are in pain.
I am completely Nigerian and sometimes I fear that in our bid to be practical, we have lost our compassion. People are hurting. Truly. For a myriad of reasons and the fact that you and I have not reached the point of despair, is purely the grace of God.
There go I, except for God. For I too have felt pain and I know what its like to wonder what your future holds for you and truth be told I would be considered more fortunate than most. As would most of you.
Life can be hard. And storms come to us all in various ways. Often times people who have a great capacity to love are the most sensitive and easily hurt and not everyone knows how to deal with that. For those of us in the western world, we are fortunate because treatment of mental health is considered just as important as physical health. Depression is not a function of someone's weakness. It can be situational or as a result of brain chemistry or more. However it is real and requires treatment. At the very least...it requires compassion and understanding.
So many of us just hold our pain in. Reading some of these comments, its no wonder. So many people are afraid of being judged exactly in this way. Some of us think that because we can hold in the hurt we are stronger...that may be true...but unreleased pain often leads to bitterness. Hurt that is simply swallowed can cause tumors in the soul. We are not built for isolation, we are built for fellowship. We are built to ask to for help and give it. This is a heartbreaking outcome. For anyone. We all deserve to live and be happy. I can't imagine the kind of pain she must have been going through and it's so sad that she felt she probably had nowhere to turn.
Nigerians are among the most resilient on this earth. Otherwise we couldn't survive our day to day dramas, however please let's show compassion to our neighbors. The woman next to you might just be barely holding on. That man that you just got over on, that might have taken all he had left. Some child somewhere desperately needs a hug, or a even a smile. Maybe you do too. I know I do sometimes....
It's not easy navigating this life. But unless we learn how to hold each others hands and love more...well...this is what I pray for.
Every day is a new day. A new opportunity. No matter how many tears we shed, we can't bring this beautiful woman back, but in every interaction we have going forward, we can choose to be more loving, more humane and truly reflect the glory of God.
Be well. God bless.
its very clear that those who say she was a coward or speak ill of motunrayo lack the fear of God and dont know what it is to be depressed. It's only God that helps you up when you're down and feel like death is the only way out, its only through His strength that a person rises back from deep depression. No one is in ANY place to judge her. He who has no sin, cast d first stone. and for the love of God, show some respect for her friends and family who are mourning......
it is obvious alot of people dont know wat it is to be depressed. u must recognize that the fact that you can struggle through your own sad times and still stand strong has got nufyn to do with u; ITS only BECOS GOD KEEPS U... He who is without sin, cast the 1st stone. and for the love of God show some respect for her family and friends and shove ur inappropriate opinions to urslf. she was somebodys sombody so please..... geezzz
I wish she found peace alive.Its really sad.May her Soul RIP
For all who have said she has been judged and has gone straight to hell, no where in the bible does it say that "if you commit suicide then you go straight to hell" Thats just what your pastors have thought you and you have not gone into the bible yourself to read it...The same bible that said do not murder also said in the same area, do not steal, do not commit adultery, do not bear false witness....As much as you say she is condemned to hell then we can equally say all who fornicate (which is a popular trend right now and has become the norm in society) are condemned to hell to...they are just not dead yet...Motunrayo RIP...I pray this will open up the eyes of people and remove a great chunk of ignorance that stigmatizes Nigerians today
Anon...
Pls be very mindful when passing judgement. The bottom line is a very depressed person committed suicide, which means her state of mind is not that of a average normal person. May her soul rest in peace and God knows best.
RIP. Tunrayo
May her soul rest in peace.An advice to all no matter how depressed you are don't consider murder or suicide.@Uche you wrote well.Am not into medical field but Fifi before you comment on this post again have a rethink.Do you consider her family and loved ones before making your comments.If she were to be alive and know your type,i bet your type will push her to commit suicide.I wonder what kind of counselor you are.Your words are not encouraging.If you think you can write anything cos nobody knows you,also bear in mind that someone is watching us all.Thou shall not judge.You ain't no saint or an angel,you might even be the Lucifer.My dear readers,suicided and murder is not a solution to any problem,prayer is the master key.Like i always tell myself and anyone that comes around me "I don't live in a world of impossibilities cos with God all things are possible.My prayer goes to her and her family,may God grant them the strength to bear the loss.And for other depressed people reading this comment.Bear in mind that your problem is not the worst and your not the only one with such problem.I think what really makes us is our ability to be ourselves and also stay strong to handle whatever problem that might come up.RIP Monturayo Ogbara.I don't know you in person but can't help with tears when i read this comment.Why won't someone show you much love that you needed,its must not be your boyfriend.Families and good friends can help.Please readers let's be our brother's keeper.Always look for solutions to a problem and not looking at the problem.
Im sorry you all feel this way,but if she were my family member,i would even be harsher with my words,but if i happen to know ontime that she/he is contemplating suicide,of course there would be milder ways to handling the situation,i cannot at this time be easy on her because she didnt consider anyone close to her while taking this selfish decision and i repeat,selfish decision...I might have judged her too harshly which i apologise for...but lets not be ignorant here,if there are any christians on this blog you should know,what "killing"means,at the end of the day,she doesnt own herself,there is someone higher up there that owns her body and soul,so therefore she had no right to kill herself,same way Arowolo had no right to kill his wife.........and for those saying why did i say she should rest in peace even while condemning her.....of course i will wish her to rest in peace wherever she has chosen for herself...Thank you.
@Ekene, no: I don't think you ve ever commented, and you refused to accept my friend request on Facebook. Thanks :)
May Motunrayo ogbara's soul rest in perfect peace, and may her immediate family be comforted by the sweet Holy Spirit in Jesus mighty name I pray.... Amen
And maybe if some of you tried visiting hospitals,homes and seeing various diseases and sicknesses and accident,burn..."REALLY UNDERSTANDABLY DEPRESSED" victims,WHO ARE STRUGGLING TO STILL SURVIVE,you will understand where my bitterness is stemming from.What should these people do????kill themselves too? or curse God?..Omg.
Funny enough i support FIFI 100%. When y'all loose people you love to cancer, drowning, accidents etc. People that so badly wanted to live, then you would understand what FIFI is on about.
My condolences to her family. Their child has very selfishly thrown them into turmoil and confusion over what i would term as trivial reasons.
May God save us all.
It is a sad event that could have been prevented, If people learn to be proactive and sensitive to the plight of indisposed and or bedridden people, a lot of life would still be on this planet earth today. I sympathized greatly with the deceased family and ask for God favour and fortitude for them to bear the irreplaceable loss.
i am sorry but i am more angry than feeling pity for this lady.
obviously she is an enlightened and well read girl so for her to feel so depressed to the extent oif committing suicide because her womb has been removed is selfish to the say the least.
in this day and age when there is the option of surrogacy,adoption,fostering e.t.c
she has done this not thinking of the impact her actions will have on her friends,families and loved ones and i dont think she is religious or she will have known taking a life you cannot create is a sin both in the islamic and christian religions.
the lord knows that i will get married to this girl tomorrow even if she cant have kids and so will many guys and i really hope her ex will learn from this that l0ve transcends everything.when you claim to love and care about someone you dont go off running scared because of any problem.
for people who dont see the use of religions this is where it plays a huge part in restoring hope
however for all its worth i pray the lord will give her family the fortitude to bear the loss and wish her a restful
Fifi, you are the most sanctimonious, self-righteous, insensitive and downright cruel poster I have come across on this blog. I would not wish a severe major depressive episode on anyone but for you...I withhold those reservations. People like you have to drink from the cup of depression for their eyes to clear.I can sense that you are prideful...depression is your medicine because it will surely humble you. Who died and made you God? What gives you the right and the audacity to adjudge what is " understandable" depression? Let me tell you, depression strikes without rhyme or reason...it affects the young, the wealthy, the old, the healthy, the sick. When you are in the grips of depression, you experience a raw, deep emotional pain that takes the joy away from living and makes it almost impossible to think rationally or see things from a positive perspective. It is an illness that is comparable to cancer, diabetes and what have you. Whereas they are diseases of the body, depression is a disease of the mind/brain that can also affect your body. Nobody wishes to become depressed and depression is not a sign of weakness. If people could just "get over it" because "they have no reason to be depressed", there would be no depressed people in the world, because no one would subject themselves to depression for one minute longer if it was so simple to get over. When people like you condemn those who commit or attempt suicide as selfish and cowardly people it infuriates me! Do you know what it means for someone to be in so much mental and emotional anguish that they feel like the only way to end their misery is to die? Do you know what it means to be in such a dark place that the love and care of your loved ones is not enough to compel you to stay on earth? Do you know what kind of balls it takes to overcome your natural self-preservation instincts and take your own life? There's nothing cowardly about that act. I have never attempted suicide but I went through a hellish depressive episode. I know and God knows that if not for HIM, I would not be here today.In your haste to cast judgement on this girl you are so quick to quote the Bible but is it not that same Bible that encourages us to have compassion for one another and to use our words to bring healing, comfort and strength to our friends and loved ones? You're the kind of friend that would break a woman with depression, make her feel "less-than" and like a weakling and maybe even drive her to suicide. Psalm 147:3 says that the Lord "heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds". Isn't your calling as a Christian to be just like Jesus? I thank God that His ways are not the ways of man and that my soul is not at the mercy of someone like you. Judge not lest ye not be judged!
P.S. - To all you sanctimonious fools on this blog, Google is your friend. Read up on how the removal of one's womb can affect one's hormones and ultimately one's mental health, then sit down and have a S-L-O-W, careful rethink. People are unique...we are not one and the same. We have different backgrounds, different experiences, different emotional constitutions, different mental environments...etc.What you consider trivial, might be life-changing to somebody else. Scratch that, it might turn their lives upside down. In the same vein, something that someone else can brush aside and live with might crush you entirely. THINK people and learn to have compassion because as surely as the earth turns, one day you will need an understanding and loving person at your side to buffer you from life's hardships.
sorry abt wat happened but,many pple still fight that form of depression and still survive,without any help from anyone.the poblem was that she never believed in hersslf....but may her soul RIP
FIFI may God Almighty forgive you. Human beings are so so wicked quick to judge. This could happen to anyone. No one knows exactly what happened(NO ONE). It is between her and her maker. Everyone is so quick to point fingers, blame and judge blindly. Have you searched yourself?? Who are you to judge?? Are you a better human being??
If u were her family member and you read/ or hear all the terrible things people that have never even met or heard her name (like FIFI) say would you not curse them out and wish them the same? Please lets be sensitive and just show a little more love to ourselves. Everyone is so busy with the business of living. Depression is a killer and its even worse when no one pays genuine attention, care and love to a depressed person.
I pray for her family that God would uphold them and give them a reason to smile again.
LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN BE THE FIRST TO CAST A STONE.
its a pity,may ur soul find rest but suicide shouldnt have been the solution to ur problems.its a pity sha
shut d hell up u fifi babe. death is death, u think cos pple r strugglin wid cancer it mkes anoda persons death less painful. u r clearly not wise bcos d wise knw wen to offer certain counsel. nw is nt d tym for ur foolish analysis. ur bitterness??? u hve no ryt to b bitter. wt is ur bizness wid d gurl or her family.. if u wer an immediate reciepient to d tragedy its evn beta bt u jus sit on ur high horse n chat crap... pls go n rest. kmft
disrespectful peice of shit.. dis fifi or whever d hell u r
Whichever way we look at it, it's a very sad situation. I feel sorry for the poor girl.For someone to decide tomtake his or her life is a from of illness.Before the surgery was done , was she counselled properly,even after it was done did she have frequent counselling and mental assessment?I know of someone who had hysterectomy after 2 kids it wasn't easy.It took almost 3 years after weighing all options before the surgery was carried out. The doctors had to discuss with the couple to discuss the advantages and disadvantages and what to expect afterwards as well as coping strategies.What support system did she have! I really feel sorry for the Ogabra family .
Sala very well said. No point having words with ignorant holier than thou fools.
People with depression have been shown to have a chemical imbalance so it can very much be said she did not kill herself, depression killed her.
Thank God say "man no be God" and "God no be man"
Fifi it is because of attitude's like yours that depressed people in naija dont get help. You think they are over reacting, you think they just want attention. afterall there are cancer patients who are worse off and not complaining. Listen to your stupid self.
@ fifi,pls dnt mind this pple, most of them are depressed, hypocrite and pretenders, especially those who claim to be her family members or friends tht think blogging is d next thing after losing a love one. The only bad thing about wht u said is d issue of judgmnt(however true it is) of whc u've already apologized. U owe nobody any apology anymore. if they are not happy with ur opinion, they shld leave d blog.
Av been depressed before, av lost a family member before,i even have a sister that has mental sickness as a result of depression.Thank God she is beta now and doing very well.
Pls mind wht u say peeps, dia are lot of depressed pple tht needs ur word of encouragement, use this occurrence as deterrence, sometimes harsh words takes effect thn gentle ones. May her soul rest in peace.
May God console the family. (d real family tht are mourning her death not the stone hearted bloggers)
@fifi....Nice talk minus passing judgement.
U've apologized for the harsh words, babe leave d myopic abusers alone.
Depress grammarians.....shio
Pls, stop hiding in the name of religion. Gosh!how can the heart of some people be this wicked? Do you even have an idea of what Depression is? Depression is no respecter of anybody or religion,it is a medical illness and not spiritual. Please pray not to suffer from this type of MDE. Stop all this judgement and think about your lives and how to live right with God.Nigerians tend to ignore medical facts and make religious excuses for everything, it's more than that.
this is serious, after saying someone died as a result of Depression, i cant believe some pple are still cursing someone tht such will befall her.
if she die too(God forbid) this pple will stil come and say good things abt her o
@fifi, abeg leave them, dnt bothr responding again. its shows how compassionate they were.
May God be merciful on d soul of the departed.
its such a pity and all i can say is RIP.
here is another twist to the story
http://www.huhuonline.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3268:motunrayojilted-nigerian-female-banker-commits-suicide&catid=103:more-news
This was a promising young girl! I hear there are a lot of other circumstances surrounding her decision to take her own life but I still stand that these circumstances are not good enough for anyone take his or her own life. I know people handle situations differently but if I was so jobless I'll go work in church. This part, the church is always ready to play for people but a lot of people don't know. If I got jilted by my boyfriend because I will not be able to bear children of my own with him, I think I will take that in good faith. The man in question wants to have his own children and if you remain in the picture and eventually got married to him he still would go out to have that child with another woman and believe it or not, you will complain. We are always quick to call men “wicked” for things like this and it is unfair. I believe that if a man tells me today that he cannot continue with our relationship and as such want a break or is off with some other girl; I will happily let him go simply because we were not meant to be. If you look a little back you will even realize that you were trying too hard to keep the relationship going and it ain’t worth it!
In as much as it is sad that a girl who could have been the biggest thing in future took her life for a thing as being jilted for her inability to have her own children, I am more of angered because Nigerians are so aware now and adoption is just a knock away. As a matter of fact, in my own thinking I believe the reward for people who adopt children and raise as their own is ENORMOUS! I still Stand that SUICIDALS are Selfish!
l am a family member to motunrayo, she had no operation that led to her womb removed, she had her womb intact till death, neither did her boyfried jilted her, it was true she was depress due to various spiritual attacks,Motunrayo wouldn't have ordinarily killed herself, a supernatural force would have possess her, motunrayo that i know does not have such energy to climb to hang herself, her death is not ordinarily, for the many years we spent together you have been a darling and i know it is not u, May God almighty avenge your death Himself. I am really sad, l've decided to post this because l have received so many calls and different rumour about my sister's death. Linda pls confirm stories b4 u post, I know God will forgive u Motunrayo, becos it wasn't d real you that committed the suicide.
@ fifi.u dont need to offer explanations for ur words, i ve attempted commiting suicide after i got jilted bt a man who promised to marry me,i was left with an std, thnk God i didnt get Hiv, andto make matters worse he left me for my neighbour. i was really depressed and i didnt realise what i was doin till i woke up in the hospital to see my father(my only survivng parent weeping beside me).
After that experienced i realise the damage i would have left behind the shame and the sadness. it occured to me that no matter how bad your situation is their are countless people who will love you no matter what or ho u are.
i am not here to judge motunrayo, cos im not any better, but for her to have killed herself she must have hated herself and was not appreciative of the people around her, and no matter her reasons for killing herself, the bible expressly says anyone who commits suicide, will go to hell.God is not patial he keeps us alive to give us countles opportunities to repent, buut when you decide to take the grace of God for granted to end his mercies and take your life. you have passed judgement on yourself and thats it.
i cant say may her soul rs in peace cos it sound ironic, but i pray that God grants her family the fortitude to deal with this loss and may he comfort them in his way. He know best
@ Ness,STFU. Talking crap. 'If Motun was my friend she'd be alive' my foot. Obviously you know not what depression is or u r under the illusion that you r a psychologist (and even that doesn't help suicide victims a lot of times).
@ Anon, July 20, 2011 3:17 PM, stop getting angry at people's comments. Its what happens when SOMEONE KILLS HIM/HER SELF!! It opens them (and their families) up to public. Everything that was secret becomes public knowledge and is most times twisted. Unfortunately, people that commit suicide don't think of all that when making the decision to take their life.
As for Fifi- actually, she no lie. Her problem is tact as this is not the appropriate time to make that comment.
I agree with fifi and Anonymous
July 20, 2011 11:06 AM. Did she not think of the pain she would have caused her mother. There is a depression greater than not having a child and not being married. it is watching your child grow to adulthood and having to put that child into the ground. people in 9ja go thru thing alot worse. there are alot of women who do not have kids but yet give so much to the world. Motunraya was the love between you and your mother, father or siblings not worth more than that of any man?
I did you not beileve in power of your maker? how could you let your parents 26 yrs of investment be in vain.
Erm and all of una that say that she would not have killed herself if she was in the UK (with all their betta medical everything), what is the suicide rate (as a result of depression o! plus the ones wey dey kill people join kill demselves o!) and the suicide rate in naija?
Do you actually think she would have fared better? We get depressed in Naija but its this same culture that helps us get out of our depression. The culture of rally round and cheer people up. From the comments of her friends and family on this blog, no-one actually knew she was THAT depressed (someone even said she gave a testimony recently. Does that sound like a depressed person to u?). Which leaves me with only one conclusion, she hid it well.
So tell me, how can you help someone if you don't know that they need help in the first place?
ANON 2.21 PLEASE GO AND READ YOUR BIBLE BEFOR QUOTING WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW.... SUICIDE IS KILLIKNG, BECAUSE GOD OWNS LIFE AND THERFORE MURDER A D DOES YOUR BIBLE SAY A MURDERER shall not see the kingdom of GOD so please stope passing wrong info!
AND YESSSS ADULTERY IS A SIN N JUST BECAUSE PPL DO IT DOESNT MEANT GOD ACCEPTS IT...
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE UR ARGUMENT IS COMING FROM?
DO YOU READ YOUR BIBLE....
NOBODY IS JUDGING ANYBODY WE ARE JUST TELLING YOU WHAT THE BIBLE SAAYYYYYSSSSS.........
"What is the Christian view of suicide? What does the Bible say about suicide?"
Answer: The Bible mentions six specific people who committed suicide: Abimelech (Judges 9:54), Saul (1 Samuel 31:4), Saul's armor-bearer (1 Samuel 31:4-6), Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23), Zimri (1 Kings 16:18), and Judas (Matthew 27:5). Five of them were wicked, sinful men (not enough is said regarding Saul's armor-bearer to make a judgment as to his character). Some consider Samson an instance of suicide (Judges 16:26-31), but Samson's goal was to kill the Philistines, not himself.
The Bible views suicide as equal to murder, which is what it is—self-murder.
God is the only one who is to decide when and how a person should die.
Suicide is still a serious sin against God. According to the Bible, suicide is murder; it is always wrong. Serious doubts should be raised about the genuineness of faith of anyone who claimed to be a Christian yet committed suicide. There is no circumstance that can justify someone, especially a Christian, taking his/her own life. Christians are called to live their lives for God, and the decision on when to die is God’s and God’s alone.
HAHA!!i can see FIFI has become an avenue for many frustrated people to take out their frustrations on the internet...WELL my dear Bloggers....unfortunately the girl is dead...she took her life,i feel for her family...but i will still maintain that THERE ARE NO WORDS TO JUSTIFY HER DEATH!!!!,I CANNOT AND WILL NOT ACCEPT WHAT SHE HAS DONE,IT IS MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION,IF YOU LIKE ABUSE ME FROM NOW TILL THE COMMENTS REACH 1000,SUICIDE IS AS GOOD AS MURDER SO THEREFORE SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO DO WHAT SHE DID.As for those wishing depression on me BUHAHAHAH!!!I LAUGH IN FRENCH,I THINK YOU SHOULD START VISITING SHRINKS.
I know Motunrayo personally and if depression led her to this, then it must be a terrible state of mind. It is painful cos we were in training school together. Whatever had made her do this must be very terrible cos she loves life. She can't walk into a class without you noticing her, not because of her beauty but because she is friendly, warm, always cheerful and encouraging. Anybody who has been through Access Bank training school or worked in the bank will know that you have got to be persevering to survive. To Motunrayo, ever since I heard this, I keep remembering the days you will walk in and tell us 'we would survive'. I still have the hair ruffle you sold to me. I still can hear your cheerful but soft-spoken voice. It is painful we all are talking about you now, but I am sure if you knew a lot of people cared about you, you may have re-considered your decision. Goodbye Mots.
Please still show me where it says "Someone who commits suicide goes straight to hell" Nigerians and their over religiousness believing what pastor has said rather than study the Bible on your own. The point is no one has a right to say she has gone to hell..Only God knows....And fortunately none of you are God so all your are saying is mindless rantings....Open the bible and show me...Its so easy to say she has gone to hell....In that case if you have committed adultery and you are going home to your wife and get hit by a car, you are going to hell. If you die in a plane crash unknowingly without asking for forgiveness for your sins you are going to hell straight and the list goes on... The point is the God I serve is a forgiving father. He is not sitting waiting to condemn us and he gives us opportunities each day to imitate Christ. Yes she had no chance to repent and took her life but only God knows how she lived her life on earth before she passed on and only God has the final say as to where she will end up...I dont care what you think but thats my opinion....
Can she walk, talk, see, smell, lift herself from her bed daily and perform routine activites we all take for granted? The answer is yes. Did she goes to a good sec school, have a masters and have a good job? The answer remains yes.
Some pple here have stated that women who have similar conditions end up bearing children. So her case isn't peculiar.
The girl from the fundraiser plane crash (we all saw before and after pics) will probably never marry esp if she doesn't get the surgery done because I don't think any naija man will propose. Yet she hasn't killed herself.
I lost my mum and I am an only child. My mother was All I knew. Was I depressed? Absolutely. Did I think of taking my life? Nope. My mother would have probably flogged me back to earth.
My point is we all have a choice. I don't expect any one to be like me but, before you think about suicide look around you and choose to count ALL your blessings even the ones you think are trival because your situation is always better than someone else.
She might have found the man of her dreams after her jilted lover. I guess she'll never know.....
@anonymous 254pm and Fifi, you can quote the bible all you want but you are not Gods secretary!.. and u sure haven't been to the gates of heaven to know who its open or shut to.... u ought to be mindful of your utterances and humble yourselves to Gods mercy because u are not the way u are by your own power or might....remember somebody passed away, show some respect..your comments are quite disgusting..may you never be humbled by your self righteousness and ignorance...depression is an extremely serious ailment( cancer is not the only fatal disease on earth, pls educate yourselves!) and if she truly suffered from it, then from a medical perspective, the society sadly failed her. Whatever truly happened, lets be mindful, reflective and respectful as opposed to being so critical and judgemental!
Either way, the same bible u make reference to said 'judge not so that ye may not be judged....he who is without sin cast the first stone..
Its always so easy to be critical of others from outside....In life, if you have never been through another man's trial, have the grace to empathize or the DECENCY TO SHUT UP. I wish u well..no more bickering..instead pray for yourself and the departed...May God rest her soul and be merciful to us all.
I am in so much shock from the comments I have read here today and I am also compelled to comment on this blog for the very first time.
First of all, I have learned from EXPERIENCE that people talk soooo much about something they do not have the facts of. Linda is NOT in the Ogbara family and can therefore not say that anything she has posted here is as a matter of fact. But unfortunately, that is what all bloggers do. I have been in this same situation very recently and just kept watching speechlessly as strangers spoke IGNORANT LIES about my family. So my first point is that the story behind why she hung herself might not even be true.
Secondly, if it is and she attempted to kill herself last year but was rescued, common sense should tell anyone that she is not committing suicide because of the boyfriend who just left her and even if she was, not everyone is as strong as you are.
Third, to Fifi and all her supporters, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES FOR SOMEBODY TO HANG!!! THEMSELF???!!! Can you actually imagine what it takes?! I dont know anything about depression, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist. But as a HUMAN BEING, I cannot possibly fathom what a person must feel to take their own life in such a cruel way. You all call yourselves Christian but you are the exact reason I ran from Christianity! JUDGEMENT! You are NOT God, and you have no right to say that anyone, for whatever reason, is going to hell. It is not your decision regardless of what the Bible or the Quran says. Leave the judgement for God. In this situation, I think you need to ask God for forgiveness because you have shown a lack of compassion, sympathy, respect, LOVE and simple decency for a fellow human being and for her grieving family. This is not an attempted suicide, she was successful. Have respect for the dead and have respect for her family. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE HER FAMILY OR FRIEND? God is LOVE! That's what your Bible preaches and that is not what you have come here to do. You are NOT being Christ-like and you are not speaking in anyway that would make one want to associate themselves with your religion and the Bible you are quoting. Remember, What Would Jesus Do? My guess is pray for and comfort those who have lost a loved one, not condemn the person. People should see your compassion and sensitivity and want to be more like you. You are flat out wrong and I pray against depression for you like a lot of other people have said. I dont wish it on anyone.
Finally, I personally think, that if Linda must post such personal things on her blog (which I dont think she should without the family's permission, especially since the girl was not a public figure), it is not an issue where opinions are required. Come, pay your respects and go in peace. And with that,
Motunrayo Ogbara, May you rest peacefully in the bosom of the Almighty. If you were unhappy in life, may you be happy and at peace in death because God knows best. May He comfort your family, friends and loved ones and may they find solace in the person that they knew you were and the good memories you shared. Insha Allah.
May Almighty God have mercy on us all. Amin.
@MA: Very well spoken. God bless you.
It is so so easy to judge.....i confess that was my first reaction....how could she do that? did she not know better? but then i remember that it is only by God's grace that i did not do exactly what she did sometime past.
Motunrayo, i actually am sorry for all you must have been through.....it must have been so hard. its such a terrible thing to lose hope. Even the bible says 'hope denied wearies the heart'.
Yes, i know what the bible says about killing...so i hold onto hope that in those last momemts, you truly repented of this act, that you really wanted to live.
God is all knowing....and compassionate...and merciful. and this is why i know that i cannot and do not have a right to judge....no one does......Fifi and cohorts, not even you.
Hmmmmmm... My her soul rest in peace.
When people don't. Know what to say again, they start castigating Linda. This story was all over the place, even the punch newspaper carried it. Linda's post was very objective and whether u like it or not, it is a story and which one is "you did not get permission from the family"? Lay off abeg! That being said, I pray God grants the family the fortitude to bear this loss.
Leave fifi alone oooo. She was on point GBAM. We want 2mince words and console those she left behind. She should v bn gracious enough 2give her organs - kidney, liver, bone marrow, eyes etc away b4 dying.
Pple shlld nt live life SELFISHLY. All of us on this blog included. My 65 years old Uncle was sooo mad seeing this. All of us playing goodie goodie shld talk to a parent or gparent and see the person's view.
May She Rest in the Lord
Please be informed that Motunrayo DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE. She was killed. Callously murdered. Her murderer(s) deliberately fed the world with carefully prepared lies to cover their tracks... Motunrayo was not the suicide type. She loved life, she was not frustrated, she was neither lonely nor depressed; all that rubbish was deliberately cooked up by her killer(s) to cover up the truth.
The truth? What is the truth? Please check out the following facts: Yes. FACTS, NOT FICTION, OR HASTY CONCLUSION.
An autopsy was performed on Motunrayo and it was medically/professionally revealed that she had been strangled before the poor attempt to make it look like she hung herself.
When her body was discovered, Motunrayo's legs were touching the bed - and not dangling from the ceiling as in typical suicide scenes.
It was also revealed that prior to her being strangulated, Motunrayo had eaten some poison; her mouth was blackened and there were tell-tale signs around her lips of her having eaten something terribly unusual shortly before she was killed.
Autopsy also revealed that Motunrayo never had any operation to remove her tummy - her uterus was intact and in perfect condition. Absolutely no hysterectomy as falsely sold to the press by her killers.
Motunrayo's door was not locked from inside as falsely reported. She was using a very simple jam-key; her killer(s) did their wicked act and simply jammed the door and walked away from the scene.
Motunrayo was not jilted. As a matter of fact, Motunrayo voluntarily walked out of her last relationship with one money bag from Abuja when she discovered that the man was married with children: Motunrayo was not prepared to start her life being a second wife in a polygamous home.
Yes, Motunrayo was in Bristol for further education, but when her father found out that social life in Bristol was not as much as was available in London he suggested that Motunrayo should either relocate to London or return to Nigeria. After about 3 months of her being in Bristol, her loving father insisted she return to Nigeria - because the old man was terribly missing her and could no longer afford to have her so far away from him - despite the fact that they were communicating regularly.
Motunrayo was last seen alive on Saturday. She had spent the best part of that Saturday in the company of her father, whom she had driven to see his doctors in different parts of Lagos. Motunrayo left her father's house at Ogba, hale and hearty.
MOTUNRAYO DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, SHE WAS MURDERED.
Her remains have since been buried.
Motunrayo's family has posted this for the interest of those who want to know the truth, and especially to reassure Motunrayo's teeming friends in Nigeria and all over the world that their darling friend DID NOT take her own life; she loved life - she appreciated all the love that surrounded her.
In this moment of great grief the Ogbara Family of Ikorodu will greatly appreciate it if concerned people all over the world would join us in praying for the soul of our beautiful Motunrayo... and not condemning her for what she never did.
As for Motunrayo's killer(s) - what can we do other than leave them to the unfailing judgment of ALMIGHTY GOD?
Thank you all - for your love and prayers. May such a tragedy not befall you and yours. Amen.
MA... that you ran away from church is nobody business, if you like go to church if not na u wey know.
We christians supporting FIFI refuse to be like Jonah. God sent him to tell ppl the truth and he ran away because of fear of what ppl would have done to him.
we all know what happened...
Shall we be afraid to say the truth.
You say we should feel for her family but what about ppl who have come here read the scriptures, seen the opinions and decided not to commit suicide, because they now know better, will seek help and do better.
You say we are JUDGING but you fail to see that once God has spoken thru his commandments, HIs word is judgement. THE BIBLE HAS JUDGED
If you like believe it, f you like dont. Its ppl like yo that turn into GAGA and disgrace the gospel because you are afraid or you are claiming to be loving and mincing the word of GOd.
when Jesus entered the temple why didnt he say No please stop selling. Why did he pick up a stick and chase them out of the temple. Is Jesus less loving or was he heartless to the financial needs of ppl.
FIFI stand strong. May we never be ashamed of the TRUTH as God has told us.
Judge Not 4.59 please dont be idiotic, i am glad that you admit that suicide is a sin buttressing fifi's point already so why are u still yapping.
The bible quotes was a response to the person who didnt know where suicide was in the Bible.
the word of God is paining you because of the evil you r spitting..
Spokesman said...
shut the f&ck up and stop speaking ill of the dead. anuofia...omo ale
People should realize that clinical depression is very different from low mood secondary to life's experiences or ones situation. Going through both makes things doubly bleak.
sufferers of clinical depression sometimes describe it as being in hell on earth everyday and having no hope that things will get better. they feel like the world and even their families would be better off without them! for the religious among us saying that it was her one way ticket to hell...the truth is that reality for her at that time was that she is already there.
have a heart people.
Again, I have read a lot of the comments on this blog and I am saddened to see comments that are baseless from a lot of people who are well educated with a good command of the language in Nigeria and I can only put this down to ignorance. As a psychiatrist, people who are clinically depressed may not plan , to commit suicide,it could be impulsive , hence the need to go on medication like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or serotonin noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors and be monitored. These medications are readily avaliable in advanced countries and are even prescribed by primary physicians because of the urgency required to treat this illness. All doctors regardless of their specialty are taught to do a suicide risk assessment in clinically depressed patients in western countries. I pray the federal government invests more on mental health in Nigeria and try to destigmatise mental health as it is been done in other countries in the world. Psychiatrists are not only there for psychotic patients. Clinical depression is an illness Like Diabetes , Heart failure and suicide may or may not be a component. People here should not say she decided to commit suicide because this may not be the case. Education on this matter should even start in primary schools.Our world is ever changing and we should change positively with it. At Fifi, I can only say that you should study more. You sound very articulate with your words and I guess you have a third level degree or on your way of getting it but unfortunately very ignorant even in spiritual matters.Nigeria would only be great if we are more educated with less ignorance amongst our educated in every field. Linda this goes to you too!!!
If only one could turn back the hands of time, then things could have been different. If only she found the 'love' that could keep her from waltzing down the path of destruction. I weep cause she's gone for good. No! She's not a dead body just lying in the grave. She is spending eternity somewhere......and that decision was all hers. Its all up to you and me where we spend eternity. I have made my decision.
Let everybody have a deeper thought, when someone is in grieve we should not leave the person alone,they need close monitoring and counseling(spiritually)some people ability to accept problem is very low.we can not judge her but both religion says is a sin to kill urself or another.Is not worth dying for. I pray God will forgive her and us,and such should never occur again.Amen.God will console her family.Amen
Let everybody have a deeper thought, when someone is in grieve we should not leave the person alone,they need close monitoring and counseling(spiritually)some people ability to accept problem is very low.we can not judge her but both religion says is a sin to kill urself or another.Is not worth dying for. I pray God will forgive her and us,and such should never occur again.Amen.God will console her family.Amen
This is a very lovely piece by a bolgger called "Third World Profashional"
I've been very lucky in this life to have hardly been touched by death, the few people I have known that died have been few and very far between.
On Monday morning, I woke up to the incredibly sad news that my friend Motunrayo had died. This hit me hard.
I and Mots were not very close but I've known her since Primary 1 in Corona, where we were classmates till we both left, we met up again in Vivian Fowler and again in Queen's College where we were in the same class till we graduated. She is probably one of the few people besides family that I've known for more than 20 years.
It's always devastating to hear of any loss of life but more so when the person is as young, as loved and as full of life as she was.
My earliest memory of her was our first day in Primary 1, we were all given name tags so the teachers could identify us and Mots happened to be the only person who misplaced hers. We were all probably about 5 or 6 years old, a roomful of scared, crying babies but this girl started going round the class saying "I've lost my name thing but my name is Motunrayo Ogbara, remember o!"
Lol.
I was seriously impressed by her audacity and that is the Motunrayo all her friends remember; fearless, audacious, friendly, lively, amazing.
One of our own has left untimely but I pray the Lord has taken her into His House.
For me and for all her friends, the Queen's College Class of 2001 and her family, the words of Mary Elizabeth Frye resonate most especially in this sad time;
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Rest in peace
Thank u all for ur comments buh u guys dnt ve any right to crucify ma sista like dis cos most of u neva knew her and as a matter of fact we refuse to disclose wot happened to mo buh she neva killed herslf it hurts and we would appreciate it if u can stop all dis cos we r tryin so hard to move on and its hard wen we ve people like u doin dis to us ma sista dint kill herself she dint ve ny operation neither was she jilted by a money bag in abuja she was hard workin God know best n madam fifi tanx for givin us d clue dt she aint goin to heaven buh u could ve bin kind wit ur words n not judge cos u neva knew mo and if u did u will knw she wasd one dt cldnt hurt d feelings of a child let alone kill herself she was ma sista,ma companion my rolemodel she was everytin to me so I beg u its a sad news pls ify stop dis I beg u in d name of d lord
Linda I mean I beg u in d name of d lord pls stop dis tanx
She didn't have to do this.. if only she had given her life to Christ, even the dumbest when they think there is no other way, they turn to Christ.
Jesus is the answer for the world today, above him there's no other, Jesus is the way.
i was contemplating whether to type something. this is becuz even if i type what i want to type, it still makes no difference as people will ALWAYS TALK. some people have said it all, humans are insensitive. the blog owner is the most insensitive, but what can i say, news must get to the people. thats what makes d whole world go round! BUT I HAVE 1 WORD, INFACT 2: HYPOCRITES! HYPOCRITES!!
This is tough especially for the family. Consider losing a dear one who has gone through thick and thin to get good education, getting a job and then dying through suicide. It is painful.
However, one must note that taking one life is not the solution to depression. It only leaves others depressed and down cast. She could have been helped; professional counselling and prayers could have helped. Here in Nigeria, we are deeply religious. This angle should have been exploited by friends and family especially after the first attempt to take her life.
Young people must know that life is like the highway; going forward, others returning. Just make up your mind to keep going forward even if you face circumstances that tend to push you into the return lane. Life is terribly challenging for the Nigerian youth because of our peculiar economic situation. Nothing seems to work these days.
Now, is it that losing one’s womb means that nothing more is good about a person? The boyfriend probably left because he felt that she has no womb to give her children. What a world.
I have had my own share of life’s challenges. I have learnt to pray more and trust God for my life day to day. Depression is tough; this I know because I have lived through it. Once in a while, it comes through. All I do is to push it aside and move on with life recognising the thinks that give me joy and living on those memories.
It is a pity it happened. there are several reasons why her depression may have peaked resulting in death. Hysterectomy often leads to an almost cessation in the productions of the female hormones. it has a lot of grave impacts, chief of which is the lack of sexual urge as well depression etc.
She needed help which she probably cried out for. A psychologist, family support, support from her boyfriend etc would have been stimulating at that point. we need a societal education regarding the ills of childlessness, it should not be seen as a stigma, given of course the fact that there are dozens of orphaned kids out there.
I am sorry Tunrayo had to go this way, rather sad and painful, but we have in the power of our hands to learn from this experience and ensure that we are properly educated on how to deal with such issues. Support groups can be initiated, helplines can be started, lovely women like Tunrayo must not go this way.
The Motunrayo saga is a story i hope the truth would soon unfold. I have read a lot of comments and my conclusion is that most of these comments were based on half truths and lies.
It is so funny that everyone believes that she killed herself just because she had initial suicidal tendencies. What if she was killed as a section of the family believes.
1, Motunrayo was to have resumed work at MTN the Monday b4 her death, her clothes and shoes were already arranged for work, she even warned her Driver sternly not to come late on monday cos she was resuming work that day. She obviously was looking forward to resuming work. That certainly rings a bell, abi? As an usher in her church she even called a fellow usher to find out the dress code for sunday service
2, If she actually killed her self by hanging, how come her feet was on the bed and not dangling? For someone who is short, how did she climb to tie the rope because no stool or climbing aid was discovered in the bedroom.
3,Motunrayo was said to have made about three calls at about the time of her death asking the people she called to "plesae come quickly". It was later found out that she vomitted some rice which was later discovered poisoned. So who poisoned her? Who cooked the rice she ate?
4, Why is Her sister Omowunmi suddenly acting as the Chief mourner? It is being rumoured that she is the one behind the planting of a lot of diversionary stories in the press. How come days after Motunrayo's death she collected about #4million Motunrayo invested with a fund manager. Why has she been harassing Motunrayo's friend to return a 10k pounds loan Motunrayo gave her?
5, Where are Motunrayo's ATM cards?
6, What does Omowunmi's Househelp know about Motunrayo's death that She is being gagged by Omowunmi. The House girl had indicated that she wanted to leave yet Wunmi is holding on to her. I strongly believe Omowunmi knows a lot than meets the eye.
7, Who came to the house on saturday night with Omowunmi? Why did she have to send her househelp out to look for recharge card at about 10pm? was it to buy time?
How come Motunrayo's neck was broken?
So Can we still safely conclude that this was Suicide. We should be looking at MURDER. Wunmi has a case to answer.
The last person to comment has said it all except d fact dat d house motunrayo died in(allen) was her own rented apartment d housegirl said she dint want to say anytin cos she dint want to be quoted she jus wants to go to her people and be save tunrayo's atm is missin along side her wallet dis is a sucide case d question here is who killed ma sister and not why did she committed sucide.d fact dat she said she was gonna kill herself was used against her mo doesn't deserve all dis.and sis mowunmi shldnt be robed in cos she was not home that faithful day pls let us not have reasons to doubt we love ourselves so much and sister mowunmi wldnt do such a thing
@FIFI, I'm surprised you expect folks to understand you! I also assume you're a man, and most of those accusing you of insensitivity are women. Their misplaced sympathy stems from the heart, not the head... so please forgive them. If, as a Christian, you "water down" the scriptures to sympathise, the world will say you don't even believe your Bible. If you hold up its standards, and tell them what the scripture says concerning a situation, they'll accuse you of being a stuck-up sanctimonious judging bastard. It's the way of the world to be like that. Many are busy wasting prayers and sympathy on Tunrayo who has absolutely no use for them wherever she is now (people of other religions who believe in purgatory, reincarnation, etc, would dispute). They sit in their houses and wait for the next sad news, so they can play Oprah, rather than get off their butts, make up their minds to make a difference, and truly make the next "Tunrayo" see reason for living. I also totally disagree with those who call suicide an act of boldness! Cowardice and fear of the unknown future makes people succumb to the devil's suggestion to commit suicide. The most inspiring stories in life; the stories that give hope for the downtrodden, are not suicide stories. They're stories of those who excel "inspite of all odds".
@ Fifi,i believe u.The bible says dat d soul dat sinneth must die.wat she did was obtain a straight VISA to HELL,infact rayo pass front door enter hell not backyard o after passing judgement on herself bcos no one has d right to tak his/her life no matter d situation.Anonymous 10.26- u & those dat reason like u,i'm sorry 4 u.b deciving yourselves if u like.better giv yr life to Jesus Christ & study yr bible wit understanding.instead of u(all those blabbing & cursing fifi)to think of hw u to correct yr life,amend yr ways & mak heaven at last,u are busy heaping curses on yrself not fifi.May God hav mercy on all of u.
I pray that God would grant her family the fortitude to bear the loss.
What she did was absolutely wrong,the fact that her womb was removed does not mean she can't have her own children.I have heard testimonies of women who had their wombs removed and still had children.**The point now is what if she is still able to conceive after the operation**
She does not have the right to take her life,because her life does not belong to her but to God.I know she would be regreting her acts now and she would be thinking that if only she could turn back the hands of time.TOO LATE NOW.I am not judging her but to say the TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH she is in HELL FIRE.
To people out there,who have problems;that is not the end of the world,God still heals and restores.We need to take our problems to God in prayer,he still answers prayers.We just need to ask him.
*OUR LIFE DOES NOT END HERE,THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH,WE SHALL ALL BE JUDGED BY THE WORKS OF OUR HANDS.
Thank u.
God bless u!
It is only in Nigeria that they dnt investigate deaths. But one thing is for sure,God will bring EVERYTHING into judgment whether it is good or bad (Ecclesiastics 12:14).
Your comments are so disgusting. I pray one day you suffer depressionor someone very close to you does, then you will know what it takes to be there.
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