Dear LIB Readers: How Do You Enjoy Sex If You're Circumcised? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Dear LIB Readers: How Do You Enjoy Sex If You're Circumcised?

This question is from me...me, as in Linda Ikeji, the author of this blog...:-)

So here goes. I haven't been with a man in so long, that I hardly remember what it feels like anymore. Mostly for two reasons. One, I was brought up in a kind of way. I have to really really be into someone before I can share my body with them, and I haven't met anyone special in a long while, so I've been riding solo. It makes me very sad sometimes...

Secondly, I've never really enjoyed sex. And I blame it on the fact that I was circumcised. Some things were cut off, so there's not much sensation down there. I mean, I enjoyed intimacy and when the tonque was at work...*cough*... but penetration was a different case. Half the time, I couldn't wait for him to get off me. (I can't believe I'm writing all these on the internet...hmmm...let's continue sha). So usually, I tell myself why seek something you don't particularly enjoy? What's the point really? So I've basically just stayed away.

But lately I have been feeling somehow and I think it's time to get my groove back. I want to feel like a woman again, so I've decided to find me a man before the end of the year. But I don't want to be turned off sex again. As a circumcised woman, how can I make myself enjoy sex? Does circumcision even have anything to do with it? That's always been my belief because other circumcised women I've spoken with say they don't enjoy sex either...at least not as much as women who were not circumcised.

Do you have any advice for me and other women in my situation? Please I don't want any yéyé responses o. This is a serious matter..:-)

367 comments:

1 – 200 of 367   Newer›   Newest»
Alicia says... said...

i couldnt even bother to read the story....are you sitting next to SEXY BRYAN IKENNA, MR NIGERIA 2007?!?!
YUMMY.

9jaFOODie said...

Linda! you fine no be small o.

I don't really have any advice for you, I am however looking forward to reading the gazillion comments that the post will attract :D

Alicia says... said...

WAIT, WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU CIRCUMSCRIBED? IS IT RELIGIOUS OR SPIRITUAL OR WHAT?

wow, that really sucks. :(

Loudmouthed said...

Linda are u f**i' kidding me.. this is too much na haba!!! don't tell us. I mean no insult oo, b4 una fire me, i just think this is too much info

Cannime said...

Linda.. you are so prettyyy:) Nice pic.. :D

Anonymous said...

Eyaaa, why they cut ur vjay nah.
I pity you sha but anyway i will be in Naija soon for engagement. Wether they cut it or not

Pjobaby said...

Linda!!! You're so outspoken..., that's quite a private issue. But no problem, you need help and you're asking for it.

There's a column in Saturday Punch where Funmi Akingbade writes about sex and issues like that. She also has a book compilation that deals with all sex problems and how to handle it. She's a pro. sex therapist and she also does one on one counselling. Do get in touch with her for real advice not jest making advice most people here will give.

Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Linda abeg come marry my brother..nne biko, u too fine ..lol

Anonymous said...

Li, li, God ll surly bless u for this topic. Please u guys shld help us out abeg

Anonymous said...

Lol,

Yu dis girl sha... sorry i dont av any advise 4 yu cos am a man but i just got 2 give yu a thumbs up (again)yu are d real'est' person av come acros in a long while..

and if anybody posts a nasty comment on this... i'll be watchin and will curse dem on ur behalf..lol

shalom.
NDH

TiaraOluwa said...

Linda, you are not the only single girl out there....I thought it should be better in naija to get a guy, here in U.S is getting worst you see so many ladies over 30 still single with good careers and no man..don't know what is going on, I'm in my late 20's no boyfriend. The only thing we can do is to keep praying to God to give us our own man ooo.

About the sex thing eh, I'm circumcised too and I enjoy sex you might need to learn some movement so the guy can hit the right spot and you can have real orgasm...

And girl you are so courageous to put yourself out here like this....more vaseline to your elbow...LOL

Anonymous said...

well linda unfortunately i dont have any advice on how to enjoy sex , circumced or not . i am one of those ppl waiting till my wedding night..lol. but anyway i would like to thank you for sharing this with us and giving people the opportunity to talk about women circumcision. thanks again and i am sure this would be really beneficial to a lot of ppl.

Anonymous said...

Lol @ the comments that are bound to come...

I see this getting to 200 comments, pronto...

Sex is not an end all be all. Do that which makes you happy, and do that which makes him happy. Get to a happy medium and call it a day...

Fuzzy said...

I have found a new level of respect for you Linda, i hope you get helpful responses

Anonymous said...

there is no generic sex advice regarding who can or can't enjoy sex. it all depends on your level of comfort with your own body and how responsive and giving the guy is in bed. (u should be giving too). i don't think this is a matter for the internet sha, kinda defeats the purpose of the said circumcision

Anonymous said...

Oh Linda, just pray, someone will come soon enough. I also don't enjoy penetrative sex even though I am not circumcised. Also, I have not had sex in God knows how long and I am not a small girl o, I long for it sometimes, but as I am not married or in a serious relationship plus my religious upbringing, it sure as hell is difficult to go get it somewhere with just anybody. I have often wondered why girls get circumcised, whatever for? It pains me honestly. kpele, perhaps, u would get a guy who prefers southern cuisine(going down on a woman) as I suppose that works for you, than the actual penetrative sex.

Anonymous said...

See a gynaecologist to help out. Pele ooo

Shockedkemi said...

Now I see why u don't have a boyfriend. Go figure. No man wants his winans private business all over d Internet. Go n ask a doctor for advice. I don't care if this comment is deleted but I know u read it first.

Anonymous said...

Dahling I could gladly mail u 1 stunning chinco all the way from Singapore who'd be like a sponge & absorb all u throw @ him & be as malleable as the most flexible iron material to ur every whim & caprices! game ??rotflmhooooo

Anonymous said...

na wa!!! U bad bitch. lubrication girl!

Anonymous said...

Err *coughs*.I'm sorry I may sound ignorant Linda but how does a woman get circumcised. just curious as I've never heard of it too

Anonymous said...

wow Linda i don't believe you!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

linda you just spoke my heart this has been bugging me for the past 3years when i just started having .....i had to just stay off it. now am getting married and its the only problem i have. thou my hubby goes down der so i can have a little pleasure its still horrible when we start

well i can't wait to see what your readers think..love you always

Anonymous said...

You're an adult and you should know best the isssue pertaining to morality and pre-marital sex.
Sincerely, I'm not circumcised but the best sex comes when there's intimacy of hearts, and with practice or time.
It may even take few years(just like my own case). When you stay longer with a person with whom you're intimate with in heart, with time and constant practise, sex will get better. The initial excitement in early relationships which you experience also in bed will go, you then begin too enjoy it, cos your partner will know best where and how to please you.

When you get a man, don't expect miracles or perfect sex, u may or may not have it. You'll enjoy sex best when your man is patient enough to learn and understand your body rythm. Thankfully, at d risk of sounding immodest, I think I have/enjoy the best love-making in the world, in my own opinion.

Prism of an Immigrant said...

Why am I mad at whoever circumcised you????

I have no answer to your question. Is there even an answer to it? I guess that is the reason why a lot of women and western countries are trying to stop the act in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Linda simply place an advert that you need sex with a capable man who understand you and i bet you in a split second you have more than enough applicant you can as well do a one night stand audition for all of them till you find the one that suit you linda get serious go get good books on sex or search wikipedia rather than exposing your self this way before it becomes a headline news on softsell mag lol linda

Anonymous said...

Hi hun,if you were curcumcized what was cut off?
The nerve that controls all sensation and orgasming is the clit...Thats why you liked oral,he was directly on the clit.You can't come solely from penetration,theres no sensitive nerve in there.People who come during penetrative sex is usually eg girl on top,when while riding the girls clit rubs against whatever so she cums. Thats also why when some girls are being penetrated they manually use their hands to rub themselves *eek*.Dont worry.Its the wrong guy.I had the same problem.When u find someone you love so much the mere thought of them being on you will make u so into it,and Im sure they'll pay special attention to making u feel EVERYTHING.
Anyways I usually dont like you cause I feel you're mean but then vulnerable posts like this make me say eyah,so she may be nice,so I replied but *shrug* stop being mean! You are gonna be a mother some day haba and you are igbo again,we are nice!Lol and plus Im sure you are nice just malicious lol okay happy sexing but dont start sleeping around oh!

Anonymous said...

LINDA IKEJI!i love you,.,if i havnt sed it b4, i'm saying it now!ur blog is d most authentic and realest blog on the whole nja blogsphere!i mean isnt that the whole point of blogging??to say whats on ur mind??i go on many female nja blogs and they r dying to say something,uknow blog about it,.,but are afraid they are not anonymous and ppl might judge them,.u??u blog the good, the bad and d ugly!no remixing!we live in a society of an unattainable perfection standard dat ppl strive soo hard to conform and loose their identity in the process,.,afraid of what ppl might think of them, afraid of being judged!but u??u have just proved that yes!we are human,.,not anywhere near perfect,.,we make mistakes,.and we are not flawless. i see girls everyday lie about certain things regarding themselves, just so they get accepted, primarily men's attention,.,and God forbid they wud die than ever admit this kind of info about themselves on a blog or anywhere else for that matter!u are soo honest and soo genuine,.,and for you it seems more like a this is me -take me as i am-or leave it kinda thing!i've been reading ur blog for soo long and u relate to us ur readers sooo personally, that i feel like i know u and i've come to love u even more and i see u as a big sister!lol!i know im rambling,.,nway with this i raise my glass 2 u linda! cheers!

Anonymous said...

Linda Ikeji,I doff my "heart" for you o,when u talk of pple with heart and down to earth,you are one of those,u are indeed brave o...
Ok,like you I am 27 years and same as you have never had it since I knw my left ffrm my right but just like u I am looking forward to d real thng when the real time comes but I always feel worried bcos like they always say circumcised women dont enjoy sex.
I am seated here n wishing to get advises too,hope the LIB readers give the real thing n not just laugh at the situation.
God bless u Linda,ur blog is really great,continue to be real and I pray u meet the real man God made for u and not the one that will add problems to ur life,be good and be prayerful,God be wth you.

Anonymous said...

Choi!! I cant wait for the comments to come flooding in! As for your question...sorry, not knowledgeable about the topic.



HoneyDame
honeydame1.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I dont think its the circumcision. i have a friend who was circumcised and i have to admit she is insatiable (dont knw if its cos she just loves shagging or because she is simply craving an orgasm)
But dear a lot of women (me included)during sex half the time we just want the guy to piss off. trust me i have had to ask a lot of questions to make sure noting was wrong with me and lot of ppl feel the same way. (then again there are those exceptional women who are perfectly fine and would love to be shagged 10 times in the day, i admire them)

Other ways you could enjoy it is if other sensitive part of ur body can be concentrated on. Also the way you feel about the guy helps. I was once in love with a guy who couldnt care less about me, but to me the sex was the greatest thing ever. After i regained my senses the next guy i dated gave me my 1st orgasm which made me realize how shit the other sex was. what am trying to say is that if you like the guy well enough it could go a long way (as long as he fucking knows what he is doing).

PS: i have heard about a surgery that involves cutting off your pinky toe....but thats just gross wouldnt advice it. dont even know if its true.

Anonymous said...

WOW! Linda! SHOCKEEED at the level of detail in the post.

Tmonei said...

Linda when u said its been long u had sex, can u please clarify in numbers?....so ow av u been coping all the while without sex? I imagine there is a DIDO the size of anaconda lying somewhere under ur bed...what I dont understand is does it have to do with the size of the man's koboko? I think may be u should spend more time on oral sex before penetration proper to ensure u enjoy it too....or try the guys who act in those american mojo's with koboko the size of anakonda...something is bound to work sha

Anonymous said...

it is well my dear fine girl...na so life dey b sumtimes,but definately God will bless u with d best

Anonymous said...

so ibos too circumcise girls? interesting.

Anonymous said...

Linda, are you actually circumcised? Or do you want the readers on your blog to pity you? Being circumsized is something that a lady of this generation considers a stigma and feel so ashame to say. Even if it was done, please say it to your man that is if he has interest and not to us LIB readers. This is not a gist now.

nich said...

hi linda...first i am thinking if you are really serious about this...but something tells me that you are, expecially they way that you have been talking about this issue lately.
i also believe that you are a catholic because if you are a pentecostal...you would have kept very silence and die in silence or discuss with your church women leader or councellors rather than yelling out.
but speaking out has proven that you are very civilized...if you were living in the states...you would have been a big star by now because i think your ability to write on your blog and your confidence would have made you a big hit.
really sexuality is real and those who say that they do not enjoy sex is mainly africans or atleast majority...this is because of lack of exposure and the issue of circumcission for females.
your situation shld not stop you from doing your best to atleast enjoy sex....i do not know what is sweeter than sex in life.....oral sex is the bomb ...expecially if two people are keeping to proper hygiene.
enquire from a female medical doctor if there is more that you can do other than what you have already done....oral sex would always be the basic for you...while you try to relax while your man would keep doing it....but either way...your man must try to suck your breast gently b4 penetration...and also give you oral sex b4 penetration...maybe this can help to give you confidence and believe that you can always enjoy romance.
but while your man gives you some pleasure...also give back by oral sex. make sure he is the type that keeps good hygiene....if possible bathing b4 the show.
but you did not state if actually you have a man at the moment or not....
you are really a sweet personality and you derserve a man that would handle this issue with all serousness.

Anonymous said...

Circumcision does decrease your "enjoyment" for vaginal penetration as the clit isn't readily standing at ease staring at u with all the nerve endings jumping at the slightest touch However, you say you enjoy intimacy-- u can get off in many ways-- your biggest problem isn't the act of sex, its more finding the person that'd get ur inner juices flowing...... Those random sexual encounters work for the non circumcised because its easier to get them off even if they are not really into the dude on top of them- all he has to do is be a good fucker & touch d clit any which way & boom

RealTalk said...

Deep story Linda. I hail u babygirl for putting this up. We need to start screening real men for u. And as for not being able to enjoy the sex, sometimes it's all in your head, because the mind is telling u that "since I'm circumcised, then it probably not d right sex feeling" - No. Non-circumcised also have problems not enjoying sex atimes. If u do have to get with that special someone, and u do love him, think of nothing but high adrenaline rush thoughts while u two are having that moment. If it has anything to do with really bad pains during sex, then I'd say you should seek a doctor like an OBGyn or a medical professional.

Goodluck.

Anonymous said...

try rampant rabbit !! or give me a shout, will be in lag soon

nich said...

i also must add that uncircumcissed women enjoy sex a lot....and those ladies who started having sex earlier....enjoy sex so much....
have you wondered why women from europe plead for sex...if you have a brother in europe he tell you what i am telling you now. some start from age nine....they are not circumcissed...
have you also wondered why muslim women reach cloud nine each time they are having sex....it is because they are not circumcised ...so you are absolutely right.
i do not know if you visit the states often....whenever you come to the states let me know so i can have a chart with you and discuss more on this issue.

jibike said...

i dont really have an advice for you because i dont know much about the topic itself. Staying Solo for a while? Gud job.

Anonymous said...

maybe you should change ur mind set about sex and introduce some experimental toys

Anonymous said...

I recommend this try feel relaxed when having sex and forget you are circumsised dont even think or talk about it cos u cant change that sex begins with arousal ends with orgasm think of how your man can arouse you and get you to orgasis with his hands fingers and tongue your clitoris is the magis gear to achieve that with your nipple instead of sucking your tits he should roll his tongue over them passionate kissing smoching and forplay can trigger your body ready for penetration while having sex help your man to understand you and your need sorry for this your man will require a well sized manhood to utterly fill up your vag or else there is no need to begin the relay try dogstyle i found out that girls like this and if you dont reach orgasm quick it mean you take time to respond you and your man have to be patient enough i believe if a lady hates or does not enjoy sex her man need questioning before being sacked whether circumsized or not sex is all about touch styles and moves

Anonymous said...

Hey Linda, This is MARY.
Hmmm tbh, there is nuffin you can do but if you really wanna do sumfin u can have an operation to fix the bits that were cut off or whoever u have sex has to try REALLY REALLY REALLY hard. But to be honest, the whole point of circumsion is so you dont have sexual urge or pleasure so there isnt anyfin you can do.......sorry :)
( I am waiting for my shout out ooo)

chisco said...

well i dnt tink circumcision have anytin 2 do with dat.But be warn nt to be like d use and dump genevieve.Wish u d very best in ur search for true romance(u know what i mean).Well i am available if u need me

N.I.L (Naijamum in London) said...

Linda,

This is a really serious matter and I dont want to leave an ignorant reply.

However I have come across quite a lot of research that indicates that sex continues to be a challenge for women who have undergone circumcision. (I will send you some details)

If you were over here (London); I would have suggested speaking to a sex therapist. However, I really cannot suggest what to do in Nigeria.

With my limited knowledge of this subject, I think the key is finding ways in which sex can be enjoyed....and as you know, practice makes perfect.

The best of luck to you
xoxoxox

Anonymous said...

Linda you get liver oh. Please my ppl Linda want your views. No bad or insulting comments and she's not desperate. 'I checked w/ her' I know my sister is looking for a solution. Let's see how we can help her. Linda am sending my proposal now that I know you r SSS.
Gboyega

Anonymous said...

Linda ur not alone oh,even me too,I think I was circumcised oh,I don't enjoy sex,not even head sef!most tyms I just can't wait to get done with it cos I'm always tired of screaming in vain!any medical solution?

Anonymous said...

I honestly have no idea, but i do not think bcos you are circumcised you cannot enjoy sex....

Anonymous said...

circumcise how? there are many different ways women are "circumcised". There is FGM, there is removal of the clitoris, there is removal of the small lips covering the clitoris. If you had the last one, you should be more easily stimulated. I have a few Kenyan friends that have had this done to them at a young age. One at age 5 at the doctor in kenya. I dunno, maybe you need to elaborate more.

Anonymous said...

I am a man, so I will excuse myself from answering your question because I got nothing to say.

However, you may wanna know what I have to say about how to enjoy sex. You MUST open up to you bf/partner from day one how you wants him to make love to you. Sex is important in any relationship, so you wanna tell him what to do at sex time and life will be fun for both of you. Tell him you want oral sex first and when you must have had enough then you guys can put the penis in the vajayjay. I wish you all the best in your search for a good man!

Anonymous said...

my dear linda, sex is more in the head for a woman as has now been discovered. Put your mind in it and the eperience will be different. there are women born with the hole closed. when it was finally opened there was no clitoris. A man who knows how to satisfy a woman would do it without any stress or shortcomings. a recent study found the claim that most women only enjoy sex through clitoral stimulation to be false! dont let the society define you. relax your mind and determine to enjoy it. I think you should sincerely ask God for the right husband first. There are a thousand spots in the body to stimulate a woman that are not classed as sexual. Forget all you see in porn movies and the likes of amber rose. its all surgically enhanced to appeal to the porn audience. You also need to be careful what you look at. in recent times you have been posting a lot of erotic stuff. these things get the mind twisted if one isnt careful. Just relax, please.

Dee dee said...

Linda, firstly let me state that I think you're brave to put this out there and I admire you for it.

It might have something to do with being circumcised, but that doesn't mean there is no way out. For me personally even though I'm not circumcised I don't enjoy sex all the time as it depends on how much effort my man puts into foreplay. A 'wam bam thank u ma'am' doesn't work for me. Now when you add sensual kissing, nipple licking, body caressing (inner thighs, back of neck, belly...), fingering...and of course your favourite *wink wink*.. then that gets me very aroused and makes me beg for it :-) It might also make you enjoy it more if you try certain styles like doggy style, spooning and you on top - they give deeper penetration and more likely to stimulate the g spot, plus his hands are free to keep caressing your clit and nipples. Being on top also helps you to dictate the pace so he doesn't get carried away (if u know what I mean). Stopping every now and again to add some oral sex and fingering into the mix is good. It also helps to enjoy the sex if your mind is completely in the moment so make sure you're in a place where you feel comfortable. I hope this helps.

Ps: after this little essay I could never reveal my identity on this blog! Lol :-)

Glorieboi said...

hiya Linda..been readin ur blog for 3 years nw and i had to bookmark ur blog so its the first thats comes up when i pull up the internet icon..anyway..i hope u allow a man find u and not u finding a man cos he might just want to write *Tunde wuz ere/011* and to make matters worse not make yu reach dat peak u really desire on bed.. imma share ma smthing wit u real quick ...ma last girlfriend had the same issue..she was circum n i turned out to be her first bf she neva knew wat was goin on and so many times @ nite she would wake up n cry thinking something was wrng wit her anatomy coming from a polygamous home did nt help matters as well..i did lotta research online and was trying to see wat culda been d prob...a web i cnt rem did helped but in summary its just u having to release ur inner spirit to enjoy that moment just go a long way...hopefully wit sm real guy who knows the twist n turns of *bedmatics*...its going to take a while but trust me it does work even though i am no longer wit this lady in question...i was able to help and break the jinx....u can do online search and prob a sex expert things are not as bad as it seems..wink*

skilachi said...

na wa ooooo. how long have u been with a man Linda? don't think there is any remedy for that just find yourself a man. no wonder u said wiz kahlifa was your kind of man in that photo yesterday

Anonymous said...

LOOOOOL Linda u haff kil me ooo. If for nothing, i love u for ur honesty, wittiness n ability to take d piss outta ursef. love u girl...

well, i dnt know how u feel but me gan i have all my bits intact but i still dnt enjoy sex. i feel the initial pain (when d ENTERation occurs heheh)but after that nothing excites me.

Maybe u need to try using stuff *sneeze* and see how u feel. if not u might as well join the convent. (jk)

ITK said...

Not to down play the fact that you were circumcised. But i have a question:

If you still enjoy(ed) oral sex/tongue action how is it you think circumcision is the issue? Isn't circumcision the cutting off of the Clit? Isn’t the clit the main focus of Oral sex? So if that was the issue, you wouldn't even feel the tongue talkless of enjoy it...? #justasking oh

Its been said that most women don't experience orgasm thru penetration. So you are not alone. It's 'Mostly' a mind thing. In this case, If you think the circumcision is holding you back then MAYBE it'll be even harder to 'cum' cos there is a mind barrier

#FWIW

Anonymous said...

Wow. Linda.you have a human side to you sha. I commend you for putting this out there!good luck in the search for answers and a man finally!

Dee dee said...

... in addition, when you're feeling in the *mood* experiment with yourself, maybe in front of a mirror, with some lube, and perhaps some sex toys ... that would help you to find out what works for you so you can point your man in the right direction.

Anonymous said...

You are really really beautiful Linda. Look at this picture, your hair, your lips and your smile. Na wa. You see your not enjoying sex is partly due to the circumcision and also psychological. You have refused to allow yourself enjoy sex thinking its not for you. If you meet a partner that can gently stimulate you, its not only about your genitals but good foreplay, a lot of tongue action to that area it will definitely give sensation back.

Cypryan said...

are u for real or just kidding? Linda ikeji with no man? that's quite hillarious. You look quite an amasing n gorgous lady to be single. Anyway, you could give me a hola if you are really serious. It will be an honour to be your man.

Anabel said...

Linda, nawa o! This ought to be a private stuff. u seem to have 4gotn so soon dt u re in naija where u suld be careful wt stufs u say about urself. Anywy, i'm nt circumcised. might nt knw wt u re going thru. Bt i feel, u can enjoy sex if u wnt to CIRCUMCISION OR NO CIRCUMCISION. When u find someone u truly love, evry other thing will fall in place. RELAX else men will take u for a ride wt ds ur i need a man/grove!

Jay O said...

WOW Linda you went there...no you didnt, wait o you did! Must take guts but wow!! No comment at all sha :-)

Jay O said...

Well I take that back, I do have things to say :-)
1) Dont find a man, let him find you. You are a jewel.
2) Since you are a jewel, really honour and value yourself as such. The last one that you let in, you didnt enjoy it and benefited it, that tells you to close the legs...jewels are esteemed of great value. To have people, incl some crazy men, who'll offer to help you, devalues your beauty in so many ways. A jewel doesnt beg to be found, its the shine and sparkle that it gives off that makes everyone want to grab it.

Anonymous said...

T fucking MI mehn. pele o. i feel for u

Olutayo said...

Linda ooo, se o fe pa wa ni? see how you dropped everything uncensored, I really admire your sense of honesty o, even if you torture me I won't jabo like this.

well, thing is that I've heard a lot of ladies blab about how much they don't enjoy sex cos they are circumcised.

My opinion,

I think you should just go ahead and enjoy it in your own way, If it's the tongue action that gets u kiki, then go ahead and flex it all you like. Just make sure your bf or sex partner knows what you like so that he really invests his time going down there, but when it's his turn to enter promised land, make sure it flows with milk and honey.

sex is all about understanding your partners needs and satisfying it. shikena.

I know guys that will catch a grenade just to get a blow job and when it's the "hour of power" they do it like "daddy sent me". so, there is nothing wrong with you.

babygirl, I can go ahead and tongue you from now till the next general elections gba. try me.

Anonymous said...

I would suggest you visit a gynecologist prior to resuming your sex life. Hopefully, a doctor can determine if there's a procedure to increase sensation. Most importantly be very selective and chose a mate that will be patient, understanding and committed to your satisfaction.

Anonymous said...

what i can say is that you will have to consider yourself as a beautiful woman who has proud for herself. life is not always fair to everyone, just accept who you are and your situation and be proud.

Anonymous said...

first of all linda,u r a pretty girl and u dont need a man to feel complete..so dnt rush it..ur man wd find u..remember if u rush in u wd rush out..

abt d sex part..ma worry,circumcision or not,when d rite man do u real gud..trust me u wd go bonkers 4 sex..mayb u need to tell d guy exactly where and how to do it...

another thing is guys dis days r intimidated by fine succesful girls..but urs wd come...relax and have fun

Anonymous said...

Dont do it Linda, I dont want any yeye prick, sorry man to take you away from the devotion you have for this blog, we love you too much. Please wait for your husband as per biblically. There is nothing wrong in masturbation before marriage.

J

Dlapikin said...

So sorry to read your post linda. I have not had an excision but I think you still have a chance at a good sex.I have about your age and I too don't really enjoy sex unless it is with someone I really like. unattached sex is not for everyone. I know for I have tried. Now for your question about whether or not sexual pleasure is still possible for you I will say yes.You need to find a man who is very good at foreplays and who is willing to take his time in knowing your body because sexual pleasure is not solely dependant on penetration.

Anonymous said...

ur okay linda,once u get that man that makes u smile,that treats u nice and makes u very happy...u will make luv to him and it will be beautiful bcos trust me,u dont have 2 have be uncircumcised 2 enjoy sex wen it's with d man u absolutely love...till u get that man,just hold on and don't feel like it's a big deal...

hot N cold said...

Chukwu nna onye ebele!....*absence* Linda crase deh worry u true true o.

bill said...

Linda can you imagine i had a dream yesterday having sex with you...I woke up very confused about the dream...maybe i had malaria...now you come up with these true confession of yours!! am now more confused!! i have a girlfriend that don't also enjoy sex as you wrote and it is really affecting my commitment with her....i just cant imagine a good relationship without sex in these millennium...maybe u should date a woman since you said you prefer going down there than penetration!! it will solve the problem!! ironically u don"t see anything wrong with same sex marriage wick wick!

@itsyaboi_flame said...

all u gotta do its holla at me, i'll make u feel like a woman.....lol

Anonymous said...

my advice is you should get a good doctor to help you with Reconstructive surgery....or better still get KY jelly (it never fails even if you re circumcised):0

nich said...

i am sure what was done on you was complete clitoridectomy....where the entire clitories was removed.
it is actually the clitoris that have nerve endings that give a woman pleasure to reach orgasm. we know our african parents in the past did this to stop women from what they believed may lead them to have sex b4 marriage or while in marriage. this is no doubt the craziest thinh ever.
recently a nigerian woman and her daughter won an assylum in the states because her lawyer argued that if the return to nigeria....that they would be circumcised.
they lwyer argued that it was a violation of women's right.

Anonymous said...

While the quantity of women's arousal and orgasm may be undiminished by circumcision, the loss of erotic tissue inevitably degrades its quality.
It may be true that most sexual activity happens in the brain, but the response of the brain depends on the quality of the stimulation it receives. All music appreciation happens in the brain too, but the quality of the music depends on the quality of the instruments as well as the performance.

Anonymous said...

Awww, i love how u can put yourself on the spot. well i think its best to not indulge in premarital sex, God commands it and we are better off when we keep ourselves. Nonetheless, u shld enjoy sex when u are married. So lets hear what pple have to say.

Anonymous said...

Does circumcision make a difference?

http://www.aboutcirc.com/coitus.htm

Mimi_O said...

Hi Linda,
I wonder if this is the forum for this, being that general belief in 9ja is to cover up such/pretend. Anyhow, i applaud your courage and hope you do get some helpful answers.
I havent been circumcised, but it sounds like i'm in your shoes as well. Pls let me know when you find that hidden place where all the good looking single men are hiding :)

Cindy said...

Yay! I'm d 1st!! :D

Ehen, i don't really av much practical experience abt sex sha ( i'm a virgin). But from what i gathered from my girlfriends, being circumsised is a major factor for not enjoying sex since the major pleasure-inducing organ has being cut off. So you need to find out other erogenous zones in your body (earlobes, neck etc) 2 atleast keep up though e no fit beat the main thing sha ;), indulge in heavy foreplay & and use oral sex to complement. Also let your man know you are circumcised so he'll understand your needs and try to pleasure you more with the other erogenous parts and lastly, don't go for men that are heavily endowed down dere (na die b dt o. . .lol)

Goodluck swtie, hope i helped a bit :)al experience abt sex sha ( i'm a virgin). But from what i gathered from my girlfriends, being circumsised is a major factor for not enjoying sex since the major pleasure-inducing organ has being cut off. So you need to find out other erogenous zones in your body (earlobes, neck etc) 2 atleast keep up though e no fit beat the main thing sha ;), indulge in heavy foreplay & and use oral sex to complement. Also let your man know you are circumcised so he'll understand your needs and try to pleasure you more with the other erogenous parts and lastly, don't go for men that are heavily endowed down dere (na die b dt o. . .lol)

Goodluck swtie, hope i helped a bit :)

Anonymous said...

Wow, Linda! That was quite a revelation. For a second I thought it was April fools' day. I'll refrain from advising you on this issue because I'm not a medical professional or a sex therapist, however, I admire and commend your candor and openness on issues people usually shy away from. I pray you find a solution to this issue...and of course, a man :)

Anonymous said...

Get the G-shot procedure!

Anonymous said...

Well am still wondering why none of the ardents contributor to this blog havent dropped any comment .Pls this lady need our comment/advice/opinion /experience as it relates to this topical issue cos am convinced talking about it in the public domain is not only addressing Linda but lot of our ladies out there in similar situation.
Noticed i havent said anything on the issue myself , i just think someone need to break this cold silence.

Anonymous said...

I commend your openness in sharing what is a very personal matter. First, it saddens me to learn that you were circumcised also known as female genital mutilation (fgm). I personally think the practice is barbaric and serves zero purpose other than to control women. In other words, it is done to prevent women from having sex; a sort of preventative measure to curb presumed promiscuity. Meanwhile males are applauded for ashawo behavior.

I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with how you are feeling mentally and physically. (What shocks me is that you are not pissed off about it!) Depending on the extent of the circumcision (especially if the clitoris was removed), your ability to have gratifying sexual intercourse has been altered for the worse. The first step would be to see a physician that is experienced (and sensitive) in dealing with fgm to see what can be done to improve things. The second step is not to force yourself to have sex when you really don't want to do it.

It would be helpful for you to know that females that are not fgm'ed also have difficulty having enjoyable sex. As a female that has not been fgm'ed, I found that I did not experience an orgasm for years until I actually fell in love with the man that is now my fiance. There is a mental component to getting sexual gratification. For some people they have to be in love with their partner, for others they have to be with their exact physical type, etc.

In addition to getting the medical help, you have to figure out what mental factors have to be in place for you to be satisfied.

Good luck.

Dith said...

How crazy! I just had this conversation with a friend yesterday.

I started reading your blog wayyyyyyy back because I admired your boldness and sincerity.

I don't know why people act like SEX is one big taboo when it's obviously how we all got here plus it seems everyone and the rat in their backyard is doing it now anyway.

Having done health science as an undergrad, I am no longer extremely shy or embarrassed to openly discuss about sex because a lot of people are truly ignorant when it comes to sexual health.

Sex is NOT just bam wam thank you m'aam.
Now let's act like it doesn't exist.

If that is what it is for you, then you are more than likely doing it just because.

As for your question Linda, I am no physician but from the wittle i know, female circumcision involves cutting off parts or all of the clitoris.

(please feel free to correct me if i'm wrong)

For most women, stimulation of the clitoris is really what leads to orgasm and NOT penetration, which is why most women prefer oral sex to sex itself because oral sex requires direct stimulation of the clitoris; That is if of course, the person performing the act knows what he/she is doing.

Most women can comfortably go without penetration itself.
Sex for many women is more of a mental thing than the act itself which also explains why foreplay is a big deal for women.

Now if the above applies to UN-circumcized women, imagine how much harder it would be for women who are circumcised.

Ultimately though, I believe if you are really attracted to someone, Sex is generally much more pleasurable, Circumcised or not.

On another note, Female circumcision is so pathetic to me because not only is the idea behind it is quite barbaric, the act is very unhygienic and dangerous.
It is sad that this still goes on in parts of the world.

p.s- Linda before some bible thumpers come here and chastise you for being a human being, it is perfectly normal to feel the way u do.
Also the fact that SEX is every freaking where we turn these days...just makes it that much harder.

Hopeless romantic said...

I advice that you not worry yourself about this issue, when you find "the one" this whole circumcision stuff and not enjoying sex wont matter because your pleasure and joy will truly come from within and everything will just flow. Love will make everything flow...P.S being in love with the right person is a magical thing....

Anonymous said...

Linda! Will you stop complaining and get a vibrator like the rest of us? Hell, I can even send you my male sex doll to give you head if you want. Simple

Hopeless romantic said...

On the other hand you and "the one" can try different kama sutra positions.. one is guaranteed to help hit ur trigger button....

Patrick said...

I can't post the answers here. Call me on 08069572356 or Ping me: 2721E417

Coded one said...

I think you've been hacked

Anonymous said...

Some things are better done in a practical manner. You need to find a good teacher and all will be well. I can volunteer my humble self, and you can be sure its igbadun unlimited for you. Are you game?

Dammy Jewel said...

First..this my comment will sure be categorized as yeye..lol..
but on a more serious note when a woman is circumcised the clitoris is cut off and me oh my thats the store house of sensation although some women still have it intact and still don't enjoy the whole penetration act...but since u said some other things like the *ahem* is enjoyable that means u have potential..do more of that and incorporate some toys *wink* it should help..

NaijaScorpio said...

Yes, circumcision definitely has a lot to do with it. I'm so sexpert so i can't tell you what you can to do to enjoy sex better esp since i wasn't circumcised.

I'm glad female circumcision is being stopped because one of the primary aims back in the day was to make the woman not enjoy sex that way she would be less likely to stray. Hopefully, someone has some meaningful tips to share with u.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is, ur one of doz good things a man has to seek God first to find.your man is almost done crossing the seven seas to get to u.am happy 4 u in advance!

Anonymous said...

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO Linda you're killed me. WHAT??? You're joking right?? Me eh i'm not a circumcised woman o so i won't know much about circumcised women not enjoying sex because of it. Like you said you get little pleasure from the tongue so tell the bobo you might go out with to use his tongue. If you're still umconfortable in that department than it's best you remain single for now until you are comfortable...... LOL, i have the feeling you are just fooling around.lmaooo

Anonymous said...

confirmed mad girl.
i give up on you.
all hope is lost for you.you joke too much,when will we ever know you are serious.
i beg become a nun urgently.

meee said...

aww Linda i get u..im 20 and i've never done it bcos of my conservative upbringing. most boys i meet just want to hit and run and i dont get how some girls can do it but its not easy. in your case i can only say you need a special person in ur life, any random guy will not help you becos he dsnt care so just pray and GET OUT THERE linda!!!! hottie like you lol

Candi girl said...

dear Linda, there is such a thing as too much information. but hey if it gets you more hits on your site go ahead. to answer your question..if you dont enjoy penetration, perhaps consider lesbianism... just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Really? like really?
I get the fact that this is YOUR blog but this post is rather out of the world... As in.... too much information...haba.....
Im sure NO INTERESTED MAN would want their potential woman to share this with the world...
dont post this comment if you like..uve sha read it :)

Mark said...

SERIOUSLY

Why be soooo private about your life for the whole world to read


common woman, have some dignity....don't you have female friends you can discuss such issues with????

why come to a virtual world and throw all your personal details for the world to see???

Anonymous said...

Hmmm..confession, ripe & ready to be plucked.

valerie said...

well my dear linda,well as for me.i don,t even no if i have ever relise,but i think with the help of the guy,you can come.mostly if you love the guy.but some time porno film can help you to come ,without you knowing,mostly i like it slowing and kissing.

Anonymous said...

I am just sick of these fake born again Christians who proclaim to follow every word of "GOD" and claim to be morally or righteously brought up but yet HAVE FORNICATION.

Maybe they forgot that fornication was a sin. I don't have problem with people committing fornication but I dislike people who claim to be so holy but yet fornicate and the next day, they start preaching the bible

that being saying, nobody is stopping you from having sex so if you wanna have sex, go ahead and have it whether it is with a animal, or an ape, WHO CARES?

Anonymous said...

it might be d nature of ur job causing the few men.

nigerian men dont 4play. i do. if its not over an hour or a mutual quickie then dont do it. sex is amazing!

Ugo said...

Linda, please as much as I value your honesty, and it is that very openness that drives lots of ppl to your blog, I BEG you, please keep private matters private. Some time last year, I read through your blog archives and that's when I discovered you were circumcised. You talked about it a few times back then. But lately, you had veered off that topic. Ironically, just yesterday, I was thinking how lucky a thing it is that you finally stopped making reference to it. As much as I understand you want to be a bold advocate against female genital mutilation, I do implore you to do it without sharing even the most intimate details about yourself. Leave it to your partner when you find him; y'all can discuss it for as long as you like. He is the only one who really needs to know about your sexual issues. Please. Na asusu Igbo, a na po he ine me " I ku onwe nmanu ashi".... God forbid that that will ever be your portion in Jesus Name. Amen

Anonymous said...

Linda contact me I will make you feel nice....Ken.

Tee said...

This is actually a good question you have asked/shared. I hope people give good insights to help thousands of women who are too silent to speak up.

Anonymous said...

Linda dear luvn ur blog cos u r sooo updatd as in...May God continue 2 bless u abundantly!!*takn a dip breadth*ds ur post is a normal one o as in its somthn u or dem shldnt b bothered about cos it hs come 2 stay.its already known dat d uncircumcizd lik me seems 2 njoy sex wella dan d circumcizd!so al u hav 2 do is 2 tak sex jst d way u c it whethr sweet or sour if u knw wt i mean*smiles*pls try nd brng us d story of d moturanyo gal who comitd suicide 2 days or so 4 reasons best known 2 hr(wonders shal neva seize 2 end),Nice day!!

Anonymous said...

am really sorry to hear this. a part of me wants to be believe its you playing a trick on us as usual (bcos this is very personal)...there are certainly many ways to enjoy sex and falling in love is the biggest key but i dont think it affects one much...its all in your head check this research funny enough it was done in naija...http://www.circumstitions.com/FGM-sex.html
but again other studies agree with your speculatin....anyways i wish you luck....viva la orgasm lol

Stunning said...

Omg Linda! Deep sturvz!

Anonymous said...

no you didnt

Anonymous said...

Hey Linda,

All I can honestly tell you is this: if you don't enjoy sex (penetrative that is), then do NOT make the mistake getting married. You will be miserable. Also, I just want you to know that it is not only circumcised women that have problems enjoying sex. There are many uncircumcised women out there that do not enjoy penetrative sex because of reasons such as the exact location of the clitoris; or natural low sex drive; or sexual child abuse in the past; or a lingering STD and much more.

Remember that marraige is suppose to be till death do you and your spouse apart so imagine having to deal with that human foreign "object" inside of you every other day or so. It can be traumatizing and the man might cheat if he perceives that you see him, his prick, and his incessant appetite for sex a disturbance.

As for your original question, my dear I sincerely don't know the answer since I am not circumcised. I never knew that there are parents who still circumcised their baby girls in the late seventies and early eighties and beyond. Na wa o! Lord save us from barbaric Naija cultures!

Anonymous said...

Awww linda! The way you express your feelings and vulnerabilities??? on your blog makes me admire your courage as a REAL woman (as in not being pretentious)

Buba said...

You make sense sha! Make I just yarn face :-) That being said, sex is not just physical but also has a spiritual connection to it, I'm guessing you may already know this. You can still enjoy sex. I would advise that you try not to become a victim of autosuggestion. Who knows, you could end up with somebody like me, who is ready to 'eat' you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. ;)

Anonymous said...

o wow linda, this is so candid and passionate. chei so you have been riding solo all these while when you have guys like me ready to please you. well my advice is the guy has to be slow and gentle with you and yes he can make love to you most of the time with the tongue too.Abeg no turn lesbo o

Anonymous said...

See a therapist and gynecologist ASAP!!!!!

Anonymous said...

hmmm

Sir Talk said...

Can you for God sake saying you ain't got a man like no man is interested in you. Am pretty sure you are single because you want to, or the men that comes your way are ain't what you want. Or better say you are picky.

Anonymous said...

Linda, I'm no gyno, but I believe there are more nerve endings in that delicate organ than what was cut off. How about some cream that can over sensitize those other areas and maybe it will also increase lubricant production. My two cent from NYC.

Anonymous said...

Linda, even if you are making all this up, it means you have a fertile and intriguing imagination which is a great marketing tool and girl, do you harness it well. (I'm the previous NYC guy)

Charity said...

Wow Sister, you couldn't be any more honest than this! Female circumcision should be abolished! However, Linda, please don't sleep with anyone you're not married to. Fornication is a sin against God and yourself (see I Corinthians 6:18). Having said that, you can still enjoy sex as a married woman, even if you're circumcised. When you're ready to get married, I would recommend that you speak with your partner and you (it'll be nice if your partner goes along) see a gynecologist and sex therapist. Until then, please don't feel "left out" because it looks like your peers are getting laid. I tell you, there're many out there who are keeping themselves for marriage.

Anonymous said...

Linda, I really enjoy your posts, but I think this a little TMI - Too Much Information. I would remove this post immediately. There are so many evil people with agendas in this world who can use things against you. Remember that digital is forever - so take this down quickly before people wake up and start reading. As a 'big sister', this is my advice okay?
Continue with all of your great work!

Ms. J said...

I am a circumcised woman too and it has nothing to do with sex, i think the problem is we hear so many gist!and the likes of Hints and Hearts then makes us think we are not 'normal' if we are not experiencing what we read in those magazines.
first of all, every woman is different and we need to find what works best for us. some women say their breast is sensitive, some say back of their neck, some say elbow, some say nose, some say ears, some say feet... many orisirisi things, but the question is what works with you? for one you need to relax and enjoy the process.... stop thinking... OMG am i not suppose to cum now? it wont happen... personally it is hard thrusts.. u just have to go on same rhythm and tempo.. that will have me screaming for my MAMA lmao...
And to me circumcision is not like how oyibo people say it jare.. it does not take anything from me as a woman... can provide references if needed lol..

TY said...

Hi Linda
im always in awe of ur ability to remain down to earth despite d fact that u can choose to be a primadonna with us.u r a real diva!
Well, dat being said, even though i was not circumcised, i think u answerd ur questions in ur post. All u have to do is wait till u find dat special guy who understands ur sexual needs and preferences and who wuldnt let his ego get in d way of sexual pleasure for both of u. This is becos ive heard some naija men hate to go down on their women and some men even stop it after marriage sayin its 'distateful'. Lol
pls wait for d right time/guy. By d time he's tru with u, u will be saying 'what circumscision?' lol
all d best babes
love ur blog btw.

Sir Talk said...

Uuumm In my honest opinion I think circumcision has nothing or very little ( as little as 1%) to do with how you feel sexually. I for a person have been with circumcised girls and they perfectly enjoy sex, and sensitive down there as much as a uncircumcised ladies. Also I know a uncircumcised and circumcised women that's not a fan of sex at all, and they've both done months without sex. I think it's a personally feelings. Human feels differently about things anyway. Examine this, If circumcision influences sexual feelings you shouldn't feel differently when the tongue is at work it should be the same feelings as penetration.

OK said...

i admire your openness...seriously...
I think u have to work on your psyche.
Imagine urself enjoying it...becos i dont think there is any other way to enjoy sex....except u r pretending to...
We ride d same boat here...

Majorbigboy said...

Well Linda, for starters , I do not believe you totally. I like your mixture of half truths...The Celibacy I think is true, could help you get a man... This is what happens when you are a 'Ju' babe...lol...The Circumcision I do not believe.Anyways to answer your question. Cirumcision in females is totally different from what is obtainable in males. For males it is just the removal of the foreskin from the phallus which I agree with because it reduces the risk of future infection(ballanitis), it reduces the incidence of discomfort during copulation if foreskin is tight as well as it looks cool from a 'cosmetic' point of view. For females it is a totally different ball game. First of all you have two grades.... The MUTILATION of the labia minora only and the more destructive one which includes 'chopping off' the Labia minora and majora as well as the clitoris which is the most sensitive part for females as well as akin to the phallus in males. This would be very sad, very insensitive and backward of any parent/guardian to do. It also throws more light when you hear 'wives' say they would have sex when their husband want it b/c they are not interested.Mmmh... I used to wonder... If your parents actually did this to you , then I would say this is akin to IGNORANCE and not even Culture because our education should rise above every culture...That is why it saddens me when I hear it took Mary slessor to come and stop the killing of twins in calabar. I know this much because I am a doctor and I have worked with people with this problem when I worked surprisingly in southern nigeria...

samdmil said...

Linda, see a shrink~

Anonymous said...

Though sex is physical but in truth sex is mostly emotional. Best sex is always with the person you love. Make sure the next time you have sex be sure is with someone you love. Every of his touch is bound to strike meaningful sensational cord with and in you. Also be upfront with the person about your preference, I mean sexual style preferences.

Anonymous said...

Wow its only ur candidness and honesty thats making me drop this comment because its amazing (if youre account didnt get hacked and someone put this up). Sex cannot be fully enjoyed without clitoral & vaginal stimulation, seeing that one is clearly missing in your case you would have to have a deeper connection with the male in question rather than just a carnal thing. And the man would have to know what he is doing precisely to find and hit that G-Spot. On the other hand, I believe it is only someone you are truly passionate and deeply connected to that can open your "floodgates" in this case.Therefore you would have to play a jedi mind trick on yourself so to speak, and focus on "connection" rather than pleasure to reach that place you want to. Maybe this is God's way of telling you that you are on RESERVE and his way of cajolement into a deeper spiritual experience cuz believe me you are one special woman with a lot of gifts. This is definitely not what you want to hear but I believe its worth contemplating to say the least. I Love You for saying FUCK IT to your EGO and putting this out there.

Anonymous said...

Linda,Im not a lady so I dont know how ladies feel during intercourse but opinion is that..........keep yourself till your wedding night.Forget about the past experiencessssss.no matter the grade you are (grade 2,tokunbo or scrap)you still need to hold body till that night.

Anonymous said...

Linda, I'm recently introduced to your blog, and it appears I will be the first to leave a message for you as a comment on this post. I'd like to say you are incredibly brave and true to yourself for being able to use this medium to open up discussion... and I hope the calibre of responses are as high in quality as the initial statements you made...

Blown away by you! Very honest, very brave, and may I say you are absolutely right... you are very fine O!Unfortunately I'm in a relationship otherwise I would definitely try my hand... definitely a fine of the full package... Not just your looks but your character too... bon chance cheriee

Anonymous said...

hmmm for a sec i taught did someone hack ur blog?, but then i realzied its YOUR blog and you're free to vent out what you feel. good luck with everything and i'm sure the right MR is around the corner he's just on a slow horse atm.

Anonymous said...

My darling Linda, find someone who can stimulate your mind and your heart and believe me, the body WILL follow!

NINA said...

HMM LINDA THIS IS SERIOUS..U HAVE MASTERED HOW TO GET HITS ON THIS BLOG AND GET PPL STARTED...THAT BEING SAID LETS GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS..

IT APPEARS THAT DURING CIRCUMCISION YOU HAD A CLITOREDECTOMY WHICH REMOVES ONLY THE EXTERNAL PORTION OF THE ORGAN AND LEAVES THE LARGER PORTION INTACT... SEX CAN STILL BE PLEASURABLE BUT THE STIMULATION WILL BE SOMEWHAT ALTERED THAN IF IT WAS INTACT... BEAR IN MIND THAT A LOT OF SEX IS MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL, IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE PHYSICAL...SOME WOMEN HAVENT HAD A CLITOREDECTOMY, AND THEY STILL DONT ENJOY SEX DUE TO THE FACT THAT A LOT OF SEX IS MENTAL..
ALL HOPE HAS NOT BEEN LOST...U CAN STILL ENJOY INERCOURSE, WITH BIOFEEEDBACK...PRACTICAL RELAXATION SKILLS EMPHASIZING STRENGHTENING AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL CAN HELP STIMULATE SEXUAL AROUSAL AND ENJOYMENT...

IN ESSENCE LINDA, I HOPE YOU MEET A REALLY HOT, SEXY, AND SENSITIVE, CHRISTIAN DUDE WHO WILL GET YOUR JUICES RILED UP WITHOUT MUCH ADO!!!..AND HOPEFULLY EVERYTHING FALLS NICELY INTO PLACE...IF THAT IS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK!!!

Anonymous said...

yay!! first to comment! right? lol
Any prize? ;)

Yeah, before I attempt answering the question in issue, Linda...err...is this about your good self?

I guess it's a mere coincidence that your pic is up there with the comment of not having a bf x__x

Mr Niger Delta

Anonymous said...

LINDA I APPRECIATE UR CANDOR..HOWEVER REMEMBER YOU ARE IBO...ZOCHINATA ONWE GI!!!...NIJA MEN MIGHT SEEM LOUD AND BRASH..BUT THEY ARE STILL TRADITIONAL...THAT IS ASSUMING THEY ARE YOUR PREFERENCE...IF YOU LET EVERYTHING ALL HANG OUT...IT WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU...OUR CULTURE DOES NOT APPRECIATE EXPOSING YOUR PRIVATE BUSINESS TO THE WORLD...DON'T THROW UR PEARLS TO DOGS ...AND DON'T GET TOO CARRIED AWAY WITH THE HITS YOU ARE GETTING ON THIS BLOG.....SOME MYSTERY IS STILL IN GOOD TASTE...

Anonymous said...

Sweety i wasn't circumsised so i may not be ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥ †ђξ best position to profer A̶̲̥̅̊ solution to U̶̲̥̅̊,but i can remba ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥ †ђξ early stages of ♍ε̲̣ loosing my virginity i encountered †ђξ same problems as ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥ †ђξ pains U̶̲̥̅̊ feel,mine Wa̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ so severe dat i usually cried during sex!†ђξ guy i Wa̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ with then believed i Wa̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ raped,maybe dat Wa̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ y i felt dat way...to cut A̶̲̥̅̊ long story short,i believe when U̶̲̥̅̊ meet someone U̶̲̥̅̊ love&he loves U̶̲̥̅̊ back sincerely all that pain will go away especially when ders alot of fore~play before †ђξ sex and ure rily wet down there....at U̶̲̥̅̊ writing ΰя story on †ђξ internet,i envy U̶̲̥̅̊ because U̶̲̥̅̊ have an edge over we regular people who can't publish ours because ure going to get alot of response and advice which will go A̶̲̥̅̊ long way ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥ helping you solve ΰя problem....all †ђξ best at U̶̲̥̅̊ finding †ђξ right man before †ђξ end of †ђξ year,but don't rush into it&be sure he's not one of those people that reads ΰя blog and feels dat since Hε̲̣̣̣̥ knows ΰя problem Hε̲̣̣̣̥ can solve it.let him be someone dat loves U̶̲̥̅̊ sincerely...
Meanwhile I've something i would love to share with †ђξ people on this blog cos i need their advice,Ђσω do i get it across to U̶̲̥̅̊?◦☀†HªŋK☀Ψσυ☀

Anonymous said...

Linda, I can't believe you say you were circumcised!
Let me digest that first
- Naomi, Kenya

Unknown said...

Actually some says they dont bug for me i believed it depends on ur heart,body and soul. Really if you are ready for this you dont have to look at yourself been circumcised. Just tell your man what you wanted and how you wanfed it to be like. Fact is not even every man likes sex.

Femiluv said...

Nothing to add here, no experience lol. But best wishes Linda.

Anonymous said...

Hi Linda,
My Advice for you are these;

1. Renew your mind with regards you genital mutilation as it has nothing to do with orgasim. Its all in the mind, its the story that has being told us.

2. Enjoying sex has alot to do with if you have being having good one.

3. Having good sex has alot to do with pyscology of both parties, especially you in this case. The determination to climax ( to enjoy the act)

In Summary There are differnt ways to have sex to make the woman enjoy it. You have to find out what style best suits you. Research and expirence tells me the woman ontop or the man from behind is a good posture for good sex for women, as in the former the lady determines the rythm, thrust and dept while the later, both party can determine the rythm and thrust, but the style allows a faster touch to the G-Spot.

A good way of enjoying sex is Do not allow you man out of you sight until you are satisfied (i mean until you cum; until you reach orgasm; until you climax)
For all men listening, never leave you woman unsatisfied.

I pray you a good husband before the end of the year and a wonderful wedding; then sex is honourable

You can read the research carried out on Nigerian women based on question you ask.

http://www.circumstitions.com/FGM-sex.html


BR/
S.

Godwin said...

You can enjoy sex if you have it with the right man. What i mean by the right man is this: A man who loves you sincerely and genuinely, a man who is into you and wants to be with you for who you are, not just for sex. someone who always wants to be with you, infact a man whose one desire is to spend the rest of his life with you. Only such a man can help you work through the process if you don't enjoy sex with him, when it gets to that point. He won't be offended by any of your reactions in bed, rather he would be willing to work it out with you until you find yourself and your groove. Only such a man can be patient with you if truly the circumcission is affecting you in bed. Remember, you have to really really Love this guy too, and be willing to learn. The deep affection you have for him is key. you have to be sure he feels as much Love for you as you feel for him. You can also pray that God helps you, remember, he created you, he can fix anything that goes wrong. Cheers. I'm GODWIN.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had any information on this matter but I have to applaud you for being so open with your readers. You are not like the rest. You deserve every success you have achieved and a whole lot more. x

Looseitshedit said...

it is so wrong to circumcised a woman. if i may ask, why did your parents do that to u. its so wrong.
anyway,FGC ( female genital cutting) does not eliminate all sexual pleasure for all women who undergo the procedure, but it does reduce the likelihood of orgasm.
You really need to find that special man, loosen up a bit and you never can tell you may start to enjoy sex again.
but all hope is not lost though, if you have the money, surgical techniques to reverse FGC have been developed techniques can include ablating scar tissue, reconstructing the labia, and drawing the internal part of the clitoris outward to compensate for clitoral excision.
Good luck in your search.

Atobatele said...

Linda i seriously feel ur pain...My girl is not circumcised and her friend always get jealousy of her which me i dont really like cos i believe its makes girl to be promiscuos. The only way out is to find a guy that is very good on bed..the one that can go down on u..suck d p**sy,and go on at least 3round intermitently

fannie said...

Linda i have just one word for you...Foreplay! Its the key, ur guy should know how to stimulate u. Every lady has some parts of her body that wen stimulated, gives her a tingly feeling down there. It could be ur neck, ears, nipples, etc buh it up to u to tell ur man wat u like...he should dedicate at least 20 minutes to foreplay. Since u're circumcised u may not really enjoy him going down there, so focus on ur other body parts. Get a hunk, like Bryan sitting next to u in the above pic, tell him ur body love touch spots and let me know how it goes. *wink*
By the way, i'm sure u weren't born and bred in the vilage. So why and who circumcised you? :-(uy should know how to stimulate u. Every lady has some parts of her body that wen stimulated, gives her a tingly feeling down there. It could be ur neck, ears, nipples, etc buh it up to u to tell ur man wat u like...he should dedicate at least 20 minutes to foreplay. Since u're circumcised u may not really enjoy him going down there, so focus on ur other body parts. Get a hunk, like Bryan sitting next to u in the above pic, tell him ur body love touch spots and let me know how it goes. *wink*
By the way, i'm sure u weren't born and bred in the vilage. So why and who circumcised you? :-(

Anonymous said...

Its very unfortunate that women circumcision still dwell. Anyway, sex is a thing of mind and agreement between partners involved, if you find a listening partner that cares, he will find means to make you enjoy sex, trust me.

Luciano said...

Ure rite linda and i think our people should be more enlightened about the circumcision thing and there are indeed ways yu can enjoy sex more but i no wan talk 'yeye' thing.lol

Blackknight said...

You enjoy SEX more as a lady when you are uncircumcised - It's a proven fact.
One of the traditional reasons our folks engaged in this act of circumcision,I suppose, was to deter our ladies from sleeping around.Unfortunately,this practice only turned our ladies into objects to please only the men.I guess you will understand here,why most of our ladies,especially naija ladies,really don't see a big deal about sex.(There is absolutely nothing to enjoy)and our MEN lack the expertise.They don't know how to pleasure a lady.
For those who are uncircumcised,it's all about them.Their Pleasure comes first.
My fear as a man with these kind of ladies is that they are all prone to cheating because of their inability to control their urge,except the smart and disciplined ones.
As per enjoying sex with them,they sure WOW me and I prefer them because I love to go down there.The sight of the fleshy, yummy,well Groomed Clitoris and Labia is a Joy to Behold.

Anonymous said...

Linda ur beauty is just dere joor.....u need to see a sex therapist ASAP.

henry said...

hnmmm!!!
though i do not want believe this your story but am compelled yet again to reply cos of two reasons
1.cos am addicted to your blog
2.cos i love your personality and the charisma you bring to your blog.#wink.

now lets begin!!!
the first premise female circumcision is not good neither is it hygienic especially the ones done by those our "midwives" in their early 60's who feel using that blade to cut you ladies anyhow will make you fruitful.
RELIGIOUSLY
the Lord created sex to be enjoyed by a man and a woman when they cling together and become one.therefore WHEN YOU MARRY YOUR "HUSBAND" you will enjoy sex whether circumcised or not.

CARNAL REASONING
it is now a trite principle of mankind that for you to express love and affection there must be the icing on the cake which is the sex.sex is very good and in my opinion i think it boils down to the condition of the mind.linda the only reason why you don't enjoy sex is that you have conditioned your mind that it is not enjoyable especially when it has to do with women that have your kind of issues.you confessed that when it is foreplay you enjoy it and all so free your mind hook up with the right guy and you will enjoy it.(you can hire me *lol
*)
secondly,the problem also might just be with you.you have to help your partner are the lying down on d bed kinda person that just want the man to do all the job?make it more spicy,try several styles,tell him how u want it.before sex you can even have an imaginary sex film play watched by the two of you so that it becomes enjoyable and all.
finally,i know you be sharp gal and you will not put this story up if it was yours.
from your bloggest fan

Lucia said...

Linda!! Linda!!. first of all, i want to applaud your bold courage of being able to say something as sensitive as circumcision, not everyone would. secondly, the post sounds like you are desperately seeking for a man to complete you.
if you ask me, i would say that God is the author and finisher of everything in our lives. i believe that once you commit your search for "your" man into God's Hands, every other thing would fall in place including enjoying sex.
Have you ever wondered how people who have sworn to stay away from guys with small dicks are enjoying the same thing now in marriage? the same thing they were running away from. Love, Satisfaction,pleasure all come from God once we are with the right person God has chosen for us.
My advise is, since you have abstained from sex for a long while now, trying to get your groove back should be with the right man - Your husband or anyone who is ready to go the whole nine yards with you and not anyone who just wants to fill that void. Go on your knees and ask God fervently for the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with, you would find out that when the man comes, God would perfect everything including sex.*nuff said*

Anonymous said...

Linda, asking readers will not help you. When you get with your partner, discusss it so that you will both experiment and find ways around it.

MsAnonymous said...

Eiya, Lin Lin, I wish I had an intelligent something †o say. But I've never had penetrative sex either. I just get into the heavy petting and p***y-eating thing. I reach orgasm with it and I loves it love it.

Anyways Darl, research shows dat most women(circumcised and non-circumcised) cum with clitoral stimulation and №† necessarily with penetration.

I'll say enjoy the p***y-eating love and let Ūя̲̅ man enjoy †ђξ penetration part.

MsAnonymous said...

Eiya, Lin Lin, I wish I had an intelligent something †o say. But I've never had penetrative sex either. I just get into the heavy petting and p***y-eating thing. I reach orgasm with it and I loves it love it.

Anyways Darl, research shows dat most women(circumcised and non-circumcised) cum with clitoral stimulation and №† necessarily with penetration.

I'll say enjoy the p***y-eating love and let Ūя̲̅ man enjoy †ђξ penetration part.

Anonymous said...

Linda, are u sure u aren't doing shakara for some guy out there,, or maybe ur mouth don expand and u dey look 4 mobil or chevron guy...are u sure u can date an average guy that has so much prospect? Linda tlk true ooooo

Anonymous said...

Linda,

This question should be directed at a professional, not for everyone to contribute what they know nothing about.

Anonymous said...

You spoke my mind really i do not enjoy sex except d tongue is at work too,there's no sensation like what my friend's say they feel when their men are in them at times i feel like i have a problem, I'm circumcised too,maybe I'd just sit back too and learn from the advise you're been given

Anonymous said...

Linda,this is a serious issue bcos am also in the same shoe wiv u!i have tried to find solution to this my predicament to no avail, i was circimcised too and i dont enjoy sex at all,infact, i see it as punishment, most times i do it to satisfy my guy and like u rightly said,if my guy(s)dd use his tongue,i dont get wet at all and for him to penetrate, gosh! will be very painful, as if am about to be deflowered again! u can imagine that kind of pain! Please if any medical practitioner is reading, kindly proffer solution to our problem o...Linda, you are the Bomb!

Unknown said...

This a very interesting topic. Let the Ladies talk o. We men need this info, especially as the percentage of circumcised over-thirty women in Naija is astronomical.
And Linda, this is very brave of you. You rock!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why mothers do that to their daughters, is highly pathetic. I'm not circumcised and thanks to God that my mother did everything possible to avoid us being circumcized. Also thanks to awareness programs all over the world that marked female circumsicion ILLEGAL. A friend of mine was circumcised and i tell you she cries everyday saying she doesn't enjoy sex at all with the husband. She even fakes orgasm. Child bearing is very difficult for most women. I know how you feel hang in there. The only way a circumcised woman can enjoy sex is by hanging out with a man she truely loves.

Anonymous said...

I think its a bit TMI for your blog.
Read books and speak to a professional. Or just ask an open question to your blog without referencing yourself.

chi chi said...

well, for us women, sexual satisfaction is kinda more emotional than physical, so whether circumcised or not, u can enjoy sex with your partner if u are really really into him, and if d guy knows what d heck he's doin (which is unfortunate, cos only 1 out of evry 50-100 guy knows wot's wot in bed....i think). i agree dat u've got to be feelin somone on a deeper level 2 share urself with dem in intimacy, so i advise dat u hold out 4 dat special someone, dont engage in less-dan-satisfying nonsense wit jst anybody, cos it will only make u more disinterested in sex...just my opinion o.

Yowzie said...

hi Linda. I'm an avid reader of your blog and I enjoy all your posts. This is my first time posting a comment. Regarding the topic, I tink sex is more of a thing of the mind. You gotta relax your mind an focus on the act for you to enjoy yourself. Goodluck

Anonymous said...

@majorbigboy,you deserve to be flogged.
someone asked for solution to a problem and you are spewing things you got off Google.how does affirming her parents ignorance help her sexual desire?
People like you write SSCE over and over again.If you have nothing to say,why not keep quiet?

Nedu said...

i guess Linda just made this up to drive traffic to the blog cus fo every click, she smiles to the bank (no delete this comment o)

Anonymous said...

Too all those that think that this topic is TMI as one comment called it. that's more about you than it is about Linda or her blog. This is brave and great move. Everybody has an issue of some kind but most conceal it and are not brave enough to share it, even with their partners...

Through frank discussion we learn. I hope all those that suggested she speak to a professional, also offered ways to find one because obviously as other readers with a similar issue read this they can learn how to help themselves should they feel they need it.

Please Nigerians, don't let this be a thin veneer of the hating, where we just cant deal with anything new or true... There always seems to be one of us down crying what another does...

This is an important issue brought up by a brave person, but it goes beyond that initial action and now provides a forum for people to discuss and learn, and by God's grace improve themselves

Well done Linda, my respect for you has gone up ten fold

Tart! said...

Linda, very brave of you to put your private (and I mean privates) business out there.
As a non circumcised woman ( yes I have an outie), I must say that I cannot totally relate to your plight as I enjoy every sensation down there, with or without a man, I get pleasure from just walking sometimes. However I can imagine how dead I'd feel if someone took that pleasure away from me. Do have friends who I've adviced through this situation, but it is never the same.
You have to find what works for you. So if you like the Tongue, don't compromise by being with someone who doesn't know how to work it good. There are guys out there who prefer oral to penetration, it doesn't mean they won't penetrate, but after a good session, you'll be more willing to let him finish his 2 mins.
On the other hand, you MUST learn how to give a good head, 69 means you both enjoy it & he orgasms, with no need to penetrate.
Try some toys (& i dont mean huge dildos) you'll be amazed what you discover about your VJJ...that way you can guide him towards what makes you happy.
Usually circumcised chicks like chunkier meatier dicks, so girth over length anytime :)
Now I'm horny...got to run.

Rare Poster said...

My Candid Advice...

You have every right to seek solution to anything bothering you, but posting private business like this to the world is not attractive to your future man/husband.

The people sympathizing with you are commenting as anonymous while your business is in front of the world...go figure.

I pray you find the peace, contentment, wisdom and solutions you seek and need. I won't sound like a broken record cos you already know my heart, but you know of the Prince who owns true Peace...I pray your eyes are opened and you seek and find Him.

Pleeease delete this entire post. So fast that i won't even get to read my comment.

Trust me with hindsight later on you'll be very glad you did.

Blessings.

@Charlie said...

Hello Linda..,

Admire ur boldnes and wish I was the guy that could help..First off circumcision cuts off the clitoris which is supposed to be the female centre of pleasure but it does not cut off the nerve endings attached to it..Penetrative sex might be painful mainly due to psychological reasons, your inability to relax and let yourself go. From my own experience as a guy who has dated a circumcised girl I think the first step to enjoying love making is the ability for your partner to be patient enough to build intimacy to the point where you can completely relax and let go..Foreplay is the key word here and foreplay is both mental and physical. Turn off the phones, candle lights and maybe some light music, let him start with a slow, full body massage to relax ur nerves and ur mind then slowly begin to tease and stimulate ur special spots..

Oral sex if done properlly is a really good way to get you in the mood and bring you to an orgasm circumcised or not. When you feel wet enough and ready he can step it up by using very clean fingers to tease inside ur vagina and try to work your g-spot slowly then build the tempo as your body responds, when u are used to and enjoy the fingers inside you then he can slowly withdraw and try penetrative sex taking care to go slowly at first and only increase the tempo if you want it..A key thing here Linda is for you to let go of your inhibitons and any beliefs you might have and try to enjoy the moment which makes it imperative that you at least feel attracted sexually and otherwise to your man...I hope this helps...

Diva said...

Hmmmmmm......
First of all, i am sorry to hear you were mutilated in that way. I have a couple of friends who share the same problem with you and i fully sympathise

Second....
You are sending serious mixed messages because when that lady spoke about needing "head' from her soon to be husband, you wrote it off as frivolous and even claimed that our ancestors didnt need it but see yourself now!!!!

anyway, you have identified what pleases you and penetration is obviously not top on your list so i suggest you find a man who is an unashamed headmaster so you can be satisfied but you have to remember that whoever you hook up with will have needs too so you might have to "endure" penetration from him so he can derive pleasure too. It's a give and take kinda situation.
Goodluck

Anonymous said...

I THINK THIS ACCOUNT WAS HACKED.

SOLA said...

Love your courage for personalising this issue! Of cos I cringed at the TMI... human shey? lol

Wish I could help but got no clue on how to help you enjoy sex.
But sweerie, why not chill till you meet the one for you? It might not seem 'easy' for ya but trust me it's doable.

Some of us are in our late twenties and chilling for that special someone/night **wink wink**

And don't try giving yourself some deadline cos it's a channel for frustration to build up!

Your bobo cometh jo! xx

Tart! said...

Stop judging her for putting her business out there!
If we do not talk about it, we hide it, how does that help anoyone? Especially young people. Sometimes when we put ourselves out there, if frees a woman somewhere, she is able to talk about it, and not feel weird.

In my opinion it is abuse, so I'd say the same to a woman or child in an abusive relationship, SPEAK UP!

the white enchantress said...

yeah i think you should look for an ex who you related n connected with at some level and start humping him......trust me, dont start with a new guy bc you'll b so expectant and it'll be a total flop bc ur emotions will be attentive for sweet sensations n thrills. GET AN EX!!!

E'phil said...

Getting circumised doesn't mean u cant have good sex or feel the heat.

From experience, i dated an Haitian and it was difficult at first to even bring her to the mood.

But later, things came around when we began to share intimate love-making, more time on fore-play and arousing her with words. More like i studied all the right spot in and on her body.
At that point she even climax alot more than i did.

I think intimacy & a guy taking his time to study and hit the right spot (without being selfishly thinking he has to come climax) should work for a few.

Besides, ladies can also climax through the G-Spot (haa, did a bit of 1yr nursing *wink).

Ladies, stay safe. Black brothers, live black... And represent life.

Peace

Anonymous said...

I think women who are circumcised would have a harder time actually enjoying sex because many of the nerves to the erogenous zones in the genital have been damaged or traumatized in some way. Perhaps you need to talk to your new man when he comes so both of you can explore ways for you both to enjoy sex together, be it oral stimulation or otherwise.

I didn't realize that people in my generation were still circumcised, I hope this practice stops because I still haven't seen any positive effects of female circumcision

Anonymous said...

Please do not mind Linda, she is a vi****. So she can afford to say anything as anybody that uses it against her will totally be wrong. I have been following her blog for over 3 years so i know what am talking about.

The issue is meant for other people. Linda very smart of you.

Anonymous said...

@ tart!
Be my friend. I need some one on one lessons.

Anonymous said...

Linda, God be with you, i'm also a victim of such, one thing i personally discover is up bringing, it does not matter weather you are circumcised or not, but i also have a strong feeling that those circumcised, majority of them have self control they don't see sex as a do or die affairs,i want to share my story also.
I am 31yrs just had a boyfriend that we're suppose to get married, something happened along the line, i only had sex in 2008 and that is it till now and i'm not crazy about it, but then i use to enjoy sex. i think that should be the best for a woman, not that without sex you will be jumping from one place to the other, my dear you are fortunate God is going to give you the best. cheers

Galore said...

@Linda my own advise for you,,is more foreplay bfor hvin sex,,kissing and touching ur clits.....,,if a Man cant do this,,you cant really enjoy sex....So i would say you should go Lesbo for a while,,bcos lesbians are good in gvin pleasures or watch more of Lesbo porn...,you would be better.

ud said...

hmmmm.....it touches my bonesssss cos my two younger sister and i were circumcised same day by my grandmum. the truth of the mata is hv never enjoyed sex 4 once.pls we need help!it is not a joke.

Anonymous said...

I doubt that you would eventually see this comment, but here goes!
It's not FGM (to get technical) since you can still feel "Happy" getting head. You probably still have you clit. that means it was probably excess labia cut off. In which case I would have to say that your lack of comfort with sex probably has to do with your mind set mostly. Maybe try something different, like new guy, position whatever and stop over-thinking it. Go into it expecting to have fun, not expecting blandness and hopefully you should be good to go!

oscar said...

All women are not the same when it comes to sensitive areas.some it is their breast, some their butts , some their tongue , some their cit. But there is a G Spot and when you sensitizes and stimulate the G spot the woman is bound to have orgasm.

I met a certain lady and after making love to her She sent me a black berry phone and when I asked why she opened up and confess to me that for the past eight years she has been having sex this is the first time she is having orgasm. Several ladies out there have never had orgasm all their life. Some Men are so inexperienced about how to satisfy a woman because they are selfish, they insert their penis ,,,pam,,,pam they are out, rubish.

Linda I bet you if you meet a Man that you are deeply attracted to and who knows how to sensitize a wOmans sensitive organs and who knows how to locate a Womans G Spot I bet you , you wlii experience double orgasm. I am OSCAR

Anonymous said...

Linda honey, nuthin' but Love for you oh... but you need to protect yourself from the court of public opinion! Be careful what you tell the world about yourself.

A few years ago I almost circumcised my daughter in Ignorance before my wife let me know respectfully (while laughing at my old-school ass) that it wasn't necessary, modern or right.

I would ask you to please forgive whoever got you circumcised.
In one way or the other everyone becomes a victim of culture eventually.

As per getting good sex... Umm... no tested answers from me cuz I'm a guy.

But hey, try this Sis'...Google the G-spot... I think its location is safe from the effects of circumcision and it can easily be reached in vaginal penetration from behind a woman (Doggy)

Also you could try multiple simultaneous stimulation, doing both vaginal penetration while teasing other places like ear lobes, neck etc... Be patient with your next guy and help him study your body to help you find "you" :)

Also, you know some people are going to use this against you here or in fights in future right? I'm just saying... peace

- MR7

Anonymous said...

Hi, Linda. I have commented before. But feel I should tell you a little about my own experience with sex and circumcision.
I have been with lots of women, yes, I was a playboy in my youth. The truth is that women are wired differently and what goes for one would by no mean work with another. I have been with circumcised women who scream to the roof top or act like their world is coming apart, and have been with uncircumcised women who just lie there and count the ceiling fan's rotation. I have had circumcised women who badger me for sex and ones that have all their tools in the right place who frown when I mention the act.
What I am trying to say is this, you have obviously been deprived of something, but it is not true that you cannot have swell, out of this world sex because of that.
My wife is circumcised and she was a virgin when I met her. Even before we did the act (Years before the wedding night o), her greatest fear was same with yours. she enjoyed the petting and all that, but was scared that she wouldn't enjoy the sex... she was way wrong. She enjoyed it much better than me and has been dominant sexually since then (I mean, she wants it more than me and demands it with a ferocity that pushes me to comply, and tickles me to the end of the earth).

Now I want you to consider this. Sex is not all about lying down on your back and expecting to be serviced by a hunk rearing at 1000 km per hour, it is about participation, it is about communication, it is about reciprocation, it is about knowing what you want, when you want it and letting your partner know that you want it.
change positions, not because of the novelty, but as a way to break the monotony.
My favorite position is having my woman on top. She on her part prefers the doggy or me on top. so we found a way to make all these work. I start with the missionary -- after lengthy fore plays, which is of import -- this feels like a continuation of foreplay, before going for the sideways, then the doggy -- various versions of it -- by which time my strength is diminishing, then she comes on top and allows me take a breather.
we usually end with the missionary and the close cuddling it allows.
One major thing we don't miss out is the communication... "are you feeling this?", "can you move a little deeper, slower, faster, higher, harder, softer?", "please kiss me here, hold me tighter, suck my breast, kiss me again.", "I can't feel it anymore, how do you want me to move?, spread your legs wider!". As funny as these conversation pieces might sound, it allow you ask for, recieve and give.

So Linda, sex is all about you. it is about throwing away your inhibitions, it is about becoming as 'animalistic' as the animals.
If you cannot give in fully, circumcision or not, sex for you will for ever remain a bore.

Another salient point before I run away with my anonymity, you said you are looking for a man. I believe "looking" is the wrong word. You have to stop looking and start seeing.
Many young girls fall into the habit of equating a man by the size of his pocket of the name of his perfume, or the brand of car(s) he drives. However, it is deeper than this. Look beyond the money, look beyond the class, look beyond the looks, look beyond the language, and you will find that you have seen a lot of men that drew your heart strings, whose only reason for not being with you is because there is a gap, created by you and the societal expectations.
Surely you can find love and be happy without a car and a big house. I am more than happy with my akwannwa, and we do not live in a flat, have much furniture, or own a car. We laugh every day and will continue laughing.
I hope I have helped, you and many others.
Thank you for sharing this. that was a brave thing to do.

Akwannwa's loverman

Anonymous said...

@GODWIN,July 20,7:31:
God bless u abundantly my brother.You hit the nail on the head and that was so reassuring.
I have posted on this topic and I guess I am learning too.
People should try and be helpful,if Linda chose to put this on the WWW ,maybe it's bcos it's actually got to the brim for her and she needed help,if she acts in contrary we will be the one to throw the stone,same as a depressed person who commits suicide,we will blame him for not talking to some1,let's try n be on the balance and give constructive n meanful advice too.She has the braveness to put this on the net wat of those who dont have the heart to yet we are gaining from it .Thks to those wu have left useful advises,if everyone of us are like this,the world will be a better place to live in.

Anonymous said...

To all those claiming linda is giving out too much info TMI,she's igbo...blah blah blah...please take A̶̲̥̅̊ chill pill,this is †ђξ 21st century{i assume U̶̲̥̅̊ know that already cos dats †ђξ only reason ure on this blog}when Oprah Winfrey announced on her show that she Wa̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ molested as A̶̲̥̅̊ child why didn't †ђξ whole world castigate her?its people like you people that make it difficult for people with problems to open up to you and seek your advice instead they resort to other means like suicide...people we're ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥ A̶̲̥̅̊ more advanced generation whether anybody wa̶̲̥̅̊п̥̥τ̩̩̥s to believe it or not,and †ђξ earlier we start living and behaving that way,†ђξ better for us...enof said
Linda I've earlier dropped my 2cents worth of advice on ΰя issue,i Wa̶̲̥̅̊ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ †ђξ chic asking for Ђσω to send my story across cos i need their opinion...

Jelly said...

Dear Linda,

I must commend your boldness. babe you get correct liver. Anyways i want you to know that your mind is the most powerful sexual tool regardless of whatever. If the pleasure of sex enters your mind it has entered your body. I was circumcised at birth but it does not nor would ever deter me from enjoying sex (if that was intent of the circumcision it didn't work :-)
Babes get ur groove on but do it right. there is no shame in not having sex in years! who knows you might have escaped getting ur emotions, body abused by the wrong fella.
Take your time.

Anonymous said...

PLEASE WHEN YOU COME HERE...
DON'T JUDGE LINDA...
SHE SPEAKS WHAT ALL OF YOU DREAM OF SAYING....
ALL THIS HOLY ATTITUDE OF I AM SHOCKED....TOO MUCH INFORMATION...
WHY ARE YOU ON THIS BLOG....
BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW LINDA DOESN'T DO THINGS IN HALF!!!!

I LOVE YOU GIRL...ITS GOOD OF YOU TO DISCUSS SEX...LAWD KNOWS EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS GEARED TOWARDS IT THESE DAYS SO YES, WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT IT...

I HAVE NO ADVICE BUT I SURE HOPE YOU WILL GET THE BEST ADVICE...

WARIS DIRIE HAS A BOOK AND DID A MOVIE ON THIS ISSUE...PLEASE READ ABOUT IT.

LOVE ALWAYS

Galore said...

@Mark,,see your mouth,,,Linda said we should advise her and not to lash her..@Anon 2:23am,,you dont know how to talk,,go put your mouth for toilet.......@Linda,,see u dey smile to bank oo,,,this comment go reach 200 comments by now......

Kay (male) said...

Your claim that you were circumcised and that you don't have a boyfriend is very HARD to believe. Maybe you are just saying it on behalf of sb.SMH

Anonymous said...

Linda, I'm a man and I'd like you to take my advice serious. There are millions of ladies like you out there with similar issues. GOOD SEX IS A FUNCTION BALANCED MENTAL STATE/MIND. This means the following:
You must love the guy deeply.
Just being with him should make you happy.
Free your mind from worries, anxiety and try to be outgoing,mix with friends and don't be an introvert.
Be open to meeting guys. If a guy shows sincere interest in you, give an opportunity to get to know and see if he's your kind of person.

If you like a guy, find a way of making him notice you, don't be shy and don't also be too forceful.

Money/social status is important but it isn't everything. It's possible you find love in the most unlikely of places, even right under your nose. And please be careful, most guys a FAKE.

By the way, how can I get your book, IT TAKES YOU?

All the best.

ND

2ndelawal said...

I don't get some people. "I was circumcised" is too much info??? How come "I was raped" isn't.

Anonymous said...

For every ten women who don't enjoy sex, nine have small breasts. Linda should check if she is one of them. And get back to me for cure via todal77@yahoo.com

as myself said...

hmmmm linda, dis is some deep stuff, but thumbs up, u r wat nigeria needs pple who r real and honest.but honestly circumcision doesnt affect your sex drive.i know cos im circumcised.

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