My failed marriage left me ashamed to talk about relationships... not anymore - Toke Makinwa | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Friday, 25 March 2016

My failed marriage left me ashamed to talk about relationships... not anymore - Toke Makinwa

While introducing her new vlog for the week titled "Before you say I do", Toke Makinwa said her marriage crisis with her estranged husband, Maje Ayida, last year, left her ashamed to talk about relationships but she has however overcome the shame‎. See what she wrote above.

112 comments:

Anonymous said...

She should move on and not let the whole Maja thing scar her to life,she is a pretty girl and she is doing well for herself,so men will chase after her if she gives love a 2nd chance... Not all men are bad.

Anonymous said...

She should move on and not let the whole Maja thing scar her to life,she is a pretty girl and she is doing well for herself,so men will chase after her if she gives love a 2nd chance... Not all men are bad.

Unknown said...

She should be the last person giving relationship advice









PEPSI ADDICT

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

I like her strength as a woman, the journey of life is never a smooth one,shame not,learn from you mistakes and spread the positive vibes TOKE!


~glo rule your world~ cos I do•

Unknown said...

I really feel for her reading this but failing in her own marriage doesn't dis qualifies her frm addressing relationship issues because her failing in her marriage might nt be what God wants us to learn frm her but other things as well.

Unknown said...

Ok cool....

Unknown said...

Heya
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

Unknown said...

Noted Toma if u marry again trying to stay close to ur husband.

Linda ikejis Boo said...

eayaaaaaa

Unknown said...

Ohhh!
She has???

Anonymous said...

Datz her cup of Tea not mine

Nonsense

Chi chi said...

U re very right. U re not suppose to talk abt relationships again cos u failed to practice what u preach. Miss know all abt relationship hw come ur own failed. Stop giving pple nonsense advice

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Nice move


...merited happiness

Unknown said...

Okay

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...


PARENTAL ADVISORY
^^^Adult Content^^^




Toke pls shut up for Easter's sake

Chizzy Liz said...

*********************utu ocha ********* Off cos u should *********** ah min who wouldn't be ?????????? If shame no catch to talk about rshp after ur K-leg Marriage*********** I go cover my face on ur behalf !!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Awwwr

Adaobilinda her sexcellency said...

Okooo for those interested

waffymercyjohnson said...

Too bad

Debbie Chelsea said...

Kool

yehnnie said...

Do as I say, don't do as I Do #WiseWords

Olaaliu said...

Good for her😕😕

Unknown said...

Honest enough... I like that.

Ugorji Chijioke said...

Lol! I hope you grow out of past very fast

Unknown said...

Abeg 4get dt bastard jare

Anonymous said...

Another Nigeria, bleached China doll . Aunty get your contoured life together before you talk about advising another person. Most women like you are like a fresh apple on the outside but filled with maggots in the inside.

Anonymous said...

It had better left you ashamed so keep your mouth well while talking about it because it didn't work in yours ,guess you were busy attending one function or the other every night and day ...not hating thou




Nmaphilips

Anonymous said...

Shes still trying to ruin someone else's. KEEP YOUR ADVICE TO YOURSELF TOKE!

Candy Cakes Calabar 5EFB971B said...

Awww! Feel sorry for her. #ehugs

Unknown said...

Move on.

uju juliet said...

At last she opened up, good for her

Anonymous said...

Onu nkapi!

Anonymous said...

She got it right the first time. She shouldn't talk about relationships. She's a self hating can't keep a man bleacher. Let the women who love themselves and sustaining healthy long-term relationships stand up.

Unknown said...

She's not serious.. What exactly do u know about keeping a relationship or even discussing a topic that relates to relationship when it's not applicable to your own life?.. U took celebrity over marriage and except the man to be there cleaning your ass.. A complete African man can never lick a woman's ass except he's an imbecile.. Justwakagofront.com

Linda's daughter aka Nwa Linda said...

Awwww

Anonymous said...

It is well Toke.

jumong said...

It'z jus lyk my teacher telling me she's also preparing 4 jamb with me

Precious said...

Awww... toke... u didn't have to really feel that way... most marriages have issues yours wasn't the first n neither will it be the last... it must be hard to have to go through all that in the public eye but Im happy you seem to be at least holding up ok... plz do you n hold your head up high... we will always be loving fans... God bless & all the best...

Unknown said...

My question is wat are you going to talk abt now? Wat advise will you give to women like you now?wish u do best tho

PrettyChi said...

Noted! Thanks

Anonymous said...

Vivian Reginald is a sicko.

Anonymous said...

Dear Toke, imagine me(a non blogger) organise a free seminar on how to make money tru blogging and then Linda Ikeji organises her own on the same day for a fee, who do u think will have more attendees despite the fact that mine is free? Without mincing words i would clearly say u r one of the most confused ladies on Instagram. So many issues I have to address about u but I don't even know where to start. Who really are you and what do you stand for madam? Today u r preaching, tomorrow u r dressed half naked, next u r clubbing ur small body away. I sincerely pity the gullible young people that listen and take your advice esp those that call u role model, except they are just saying it so u notice dem Cus I don't know what u r 'modelling'. Young girls pls toke can't help u in anyway, she's just using her controversies to get more popular on social media, nothing more so all those that exchange words on her page on top nonsense Abeg receive sense and focus ur energy on more valuable arguments/discussion. Only u and Maje knows what exactly went/is going on btw u two Cus from the beginning ur Union was questionable. I doubt if he even paid dowry.

Anonymous said...

Toke the good Lord will strengthen u
God only knows best.Ignore all the judgemental people who act like they haven't failed in life before
You are entitled to talk about any and everything even if it's an area u failed in.God bless u darl

Cynberry said...

One of the strongest and resilient ladies I know. Am super proud of her.
You do you hun.

Go girl! ekun onion
My girl 4 life

Cynberry said...

you mean the ones regretting everyday & bring too ashamed to walk away as the man is the bread winner? or the one sleepin with other men just to keep body and soul together yet flashing the claiming to be married? we know you all. Abegi relax pls!

Cynberry said...

ChiChi may whoever you are with or end up with do to you what he did to her (Amen) then you can repeat this to yourself?
you self hating soul. she should feel bad for what HE DID TO HER??? WHY ARE WOMEN THEIR WORST ENEMIES IN THIS COUNTRY?!

Anonymous said...

This is why you can't succeed in life. No you won't succeed. Your soul is full if hate.

Pretty face said...

That's good

Anonymous said...

Yes you are hating and your soul is bitter

Anonymous said...

Hater!

kaitochukwu said...

I'm sorry to say, yes she has no right to talk about relationships again!!! she chose to be a society girl always in every party she calls herself "the life of the party "do you think a man, an African man would continue to take that?? Toke I'd say you were too busy for that Man.

KATETWOTWENTYTWO said...

So proud of you, still soaring. Good you didn't stay on in that doomed marriage. Happy you bagged and binned him. Ride on babe.

kaitochukwu said...

I'm sorry to say, yes she has no right to talk about relationships again!!! she chose to be a society girl always in every party she calls herself "the life of the party "do you think a man, an African man would continue to take that?? Toke I'd say you were too busy for that Man.

Unknown said...

A failed marriage is worse than anything...

Mayberry said...

Why r people fund of criticism? Some men r evil.
Possibly x-hubby jst did dat to rubbish d poor Girl nt minding d outcome. D heart of of a man is dat of d devil 😈. Toke dearie me like ur courage to carry on in life. No man is worth d tears in my eyes. NT after what I've been through in life.

Edobabe#replinda#

Anonymous said...

Toke Makinwa just constantly wants to be on daily news or headlines.
Go and chill please, really becoming irritating, at least she us now the face or is it Ambassador of the Cream that was launched recently.
I don't mean to be disrespectful,but i cant imagine or see any good or humble man with prospects ever considering to date her, no value for herself, no private life.
She needs to be counselled and not giving advice to people.
Take chill "PILLs" Toke.
Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.
EWU

Unknown said...

Na now day break for Toke abi? When she dey jump from one party to another and advertising all the new cloth in her wardrobe she no realise say her marriage failed... dee

Unknown said...

It's a pity...a woman with enormous strength. X

Unknown said...

Why is that... don't open your mouth and say crap...you think it's easy to marry and stay married especially if your spouse should cheat on you? ...hell no she is strong pleas applaud her for still standing and stop being ignorant

Anonymous said...

You are wrong o ...experience is the best teacher...she can give advice on what to do and what not to do based on her mistakes

Anonymous said...

If she ever marry again, she should learn to spend more time with her husband rather than going to one occasion and the other. She was never there for her ex husband that's why he cheated on her.

Anonymous said...

If she ever marry again, she should learn to spend more time with her husband rather than going to one occasion and the other. She was never there for her ex husband that's why he cheated on her.

F0 said...

Why are you so pained?

F0 said...

Why are you so pained?

Anonymous said...

Why? Who gave you the right to conclude that she isn't qualified to do so?
If you have gone through a heart break-broken marriage or relationship and you are reflective enough to get your flaws together, you can be the best advisor. All these marriage advisor there starting point is different,their marriages have been working but what if it doesn't work do they know how to trace down the mistakes, I guess not because of their perspective. Let the girl talk, am not a fan.

Anonymous said...

And then? What does staying close got to do with faithfulness of a spouse? I travel a lot for business reasons, SHOULD I give up my career for the sake of been closer to my husband? A man who wants to be faithful will be faithful, a man who want you in his life will keep YOU. Cheating is a choice!!

QUEEN B said...

cant believe u are a woman. Its people like you that has kept women down since 1800. All the hate talks coming from fellow women. No matter how you treat a man, he will always cheat. Never think you are better.

Anonymous said...

You are just a FOOL!! You lack common sense obviously!!
From mistakes people learn the MOST get that into your brain!!
She did her mistakes and she is brave enough to stand up. Are you perfect or what?
Does your pastor practice what he preach every Sunday? Learn to reason well, don't praise the day before evening.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't disqualifies her...my friend go back to primary school & learn English.

Anonymous said...

Because African men are useless. That's one reason poverty is so common among blacks. Look at Linda she is successful because with an African man and marriage she wouldn't have brought it this far,because on the long run the marriage would have broken, because African men are weak, they cannot stand a successful woman. Why is it so common that successful women are either single or married to well educated or foreign men?

Use your brain at times, you have said it already yourself"A complete African man can never lick a woman's ass except he's an imbecile.." what does this say about black men, most white men can do that without a problem? Are all white men "imbecilic"? Let face it millions of your own kind are dieing while trying to reach the white man's land who are according to you imbecilic. This is how blacks reason like YOU Madame George, that husband of toke if he was a real man with courage he would had shown her, her boundaries, I don't mean abuse, but wise advice. I was once a very independent woman, I met the right man supported me to finish my PhD.I got a job was paid better than he, he took me aside and said: he is reducing his working hours to be with our child, so I can do my thing for the next two years to establish myself.it was a deal between us, during that time he did all the house work -from cook to washing. After that two years I reduced my hours, he increased his and life moved on, our son is now 11years, and to you knowledge Madame am not married to this man because I refused and he has accepted it. But you know what Madame he is Caucasian not BLACK. I want to point out that a minority of black men can do what my man has DONE. We blacks are the source of our problems. Give Toke a chance don't discourage her from the onset without knowing what really happened in her marriage!! THIS MESSAGE IS FOR THOSE WITH NEGATIVITY!!

Unknown said...

Seriously!nobody is a master in relationship issues but now more dan ever she can indeed give relationship advice because she has seen d worse so stop bin a judge.Carry on Toke

Unknown said...

she did not fail,he did.

Anonymous said...

This is a very wise and encouraging comment based on common sense!! Some people here behave like their marriages are heaven, some aren't even married but busy throwing senseless statements!!

The most unpredictable thing on earth is a human being, even death is predictable, we all gone die at the time God has chosen. Keep the positive vibe and keep common sense very close.

Unknown said...

Na she sabi! Linda take note!

Anonymous said...

Why so personal? It's her choice to bleach, Beyonce, Rihanna, Nikki have being bleaching too. What is your comment to them? She loves herself too that's why she let her husband BE!!
There is no such a thing like "healthy long-term relationships" don't FOOL yourself. Marriage is a battlefield!! You are one of those people admiring the Beyonce&JayZ relationship, trust me Beyonce doesn't has it easy with JayZ but she kept the face for the public and had people to reconcile them. Toke might not have gotten the right support, we all know African traditions, as a woman you have no voice in terms of marriage, men are always right and they have been taking this for granted. I support women who can stand up for themselves and not get depressed &die inside in the name of marriage!! Don't be so bitter, I can see from the words you have chosen that you are female. Let us support each other as women!! She has the right to talk and her mistakes might help some to make a u-turn in her marriage. Where were YoU, why didn't you advice her on her mistakes, where is your blog? Book?

Anonymous said...

If it was Kim Kardashian West doing this you would have ignored that she has two failed marriage, but because its your fellow black you are showing your ignorance and bitterness!!!

The best online relationship advisors have failed marriages/relationships those with "functioning" marriages aren't that successful ask yourself why?

Oh black women can't we for once stand for each other? You are the same people who would have laughed if she took him back that she has no courage, self integrity etc. Her she is doing her thing, you can't support and appreciate her courage. HOW MANY WOMEN ARE DIEING WORLDWIDE IN THE NAME OF MARRIAGE. LORD HAVE MERCY WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

Unknown said...

Good one Toke.





#Linda'spal

Unknown said...

Good one Toke.





#Linda'spal

Unknown said...

Eyyah sowie Dearie

Richard said...

Move on its doesn't mean u can't give a good counsels concern relationship



#reeshahr

Unknown said...

Women pulling fellow women down since 1820

Anonymous said...

Linda are u her interpreter?

Anonymous said...

Okay Aunty Toks, pls advice me. My husband proposed to me the first day we meet. And after 2weeks , we officially got married!!!! It happened like Vegas night mare. Should I have waited longer before saying yes cos we are like two cat and rat, who are madly in love and can't still get our marriage going fine.

Unknown said...

I feel your pain Toke; however I feel you should write about relationships when you are in a successful one. Or else it's just a lot of theory. Teaching from your mistakes is also fine but maybe this isn't the right time

Anonymous said...

True...a failed relationship doesn't make u an expert in what went wrong or how to di it right. Toke shud stuck to talking fashion n skin care, she would be in her elements or such topics.....not relationships...na na.

Anonymous said...

True...a failed relationship doesn't make u an expert in what went wrong or how to di it right. Toke shud stuck to talking fashion n skin care, she would be in her elements or such topics.....not relationships...na na.

Anonymous said...

@6.40 am - Are you God? " You don't see a respectable man marrying her... Toke Makinwa is a very hard working woman. Give her a chance. She just says it as it is.

Anonymous said...

Chi chi, d hate is real!!! You are the real meaning of the word HATER.

Vela said...

Please move on darling. Life goes on.

Anonymous said...

Toke, you're indeed a strong woman. Those who say you should not speak about relationships maybe have not been in one time experienced what you went through. Peoples always learn from mistakes of others.You have not only come out to advise and lecture then on the said issues on the topic but profer guide, advice and solutions to those in relationships and others in marriages. They should praise you for coming out very strong

Unknown said...

Do ur tin gal. I feel u

Anonymous said...

A thousand kisses @ Jamaho Judita. God bless u.

Anonymous said...

Yes oh @ anony 7.32am u can stick close and police all u want a man who cheats will cheat even with the house help.

AGB said...

Why the hate by many of you here? I really don't understand why many of us, Nigerians are such big fvvking hypocrites. Toke hasn't done wrong to anyone of you, I suppose... So why the bitter comments towards her. She's a media personality and it's part of her job to put herself out there whether knowingly or unknowingly as long as it's not in an outrightly rude way. Now, if you don't like that, you should simply pass and move on to what you like rather than just attacking here when she hasn't done anything wrong but bare hef mind about what she's been through and what she thinks she has learnt from experience lately.

Dam said...

If u r looking for cheap affordable and superneat braid wig add me on 5bf9a23f

Anonymous said...

But KIM doesn't talk about relationship tho!!

Unknown said...

Been reading your comments.. I like your sense of reasoning, it shows you're open minded. Cheers!!!

Anonymous said...

There are tons of pics of Beyonce and Rihanna having the same complexion since childhood. Bleaching isn't as prevalent in the US as in Nigeria. There is a belief that women are beautiful at any complexion. The dark skinned woman is uplifted instead of being told she's pretty only if light. Colorism exists but there's an effort to combat it with positive messaging.

According to Nigerians, nobody can be born naturally light skinned. Because of this they accept bleached rats like Toke telling them what to do when she can't keep a man. I'll say it again. Take your advice from people in long term healthy relationships. According to our very Linda, they exist in women like Omotola and Joke Silva.

You're NOT supposed to take bad advice from someone who can't practice what she preaches. Toke shouldn't give relationship advice until she sorts herself out first. She's got one foot in her marriage and another out. She hates herself because she bleaches. No thanks to any life advice from her unless it's to say, "Don't do what I've done."

miss pink said...

I think Toke is best to give advice on r/ship/ marriage bcs she got d experience and she's learnt from her mistake. Carry on girl

Chi chi said...

Chai, which chi chi is this one Biko? I am team Toke all day, everyday. She is the strongest and self motivated woman I know. She could care less about your thoughts. Maje never deserved her, he is not a looker anyways. He is better off with that Calabar girl!

Abeg not all chi chi no get sense.

Chi chi said...

@Cynberry I can not end up like her in Jesus name Amen. I send ur wishes back to u. Pple shld stop telling others lies abt relationships being perfect and hw to face their partners cos this has doomed many relationships. Still don't believe in such miss know it all.

Anonymous said...

She's a media personality. This is her life, her hustle. Ya'll get a life.

OMG!WOMAN said...

Baring her experience could help some ppl in some ways. Just like Linda's gist about horrible men who tried to use her inspires me. You don't know what married woman is going through such hell as her. So if her gist doesn't influence u move over. Whether u like it or not Toke is a golden fish. You can't cover a lit candle with a dark pot. Light always outshines darkness. So take your darkness one side.

Anonymous said...

Chi don't mind them jare. All of you bashing Chi chi are you sayong people shouldn't have their own opinions again? This is exactly what's wrong with our society. Are you going to muzzle everyone who disagrees with you? Must everyone who reads this story support Toke? Must everyone like her? Nawah o

Chikito The Blog Sager with some fire 😜 said...

She will marry a man better than you will ever be. It's people like you that God constantly shames when he wants to bless such people. Shioor!

Sparkle said...

U're so confused!So Omotola doesnt bleach ba? Take several seats abeg

Anonymous said...

@ jamaho you said it all

Anonymous said...

You are blessed thanks for sharing

Anonymous said...

You are an idiot .. While pregnant women visit antenatal classes and a young lady that as never been pregnant tell her what to do including how to look after a new born baby ... Hellloooo .. She is experience .. Pick what suits you from her vlog or get a life

Unknown said...

Shut up who ate you to tell him someone is better than.him stupid bitch it's his opinion get a life.

JAO said...

Mixture of Lolz n sigh feelings after reading the comments. My advice to Toke do what you think is right for you....

Terrance McDaniel said...

It's very helpful blog with important information well done.
how to save a relationship

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