Dear LIB reader: My ex husband didn't love me this way
From a LIB reader:
My marriage ended in 2008 after 9 years and four kids because my ex and I just couldn't make it work. The best part of it all was that we managed to remain friends after we parted ways. We see each other often because of our kids and over the years we've become quite close. If you see us together you would never guess we were divorced. I never thought exes could be friends but my relationship with mine has proven me wrong. But there's a problem now. My ex husband met a lady 8 months ago and his attitude totally changed after then. He doesn't come to the house as often as he used to, doesn't see his kids as often as he used to, doesn't call me anymore..and when he eventually shows up at my house all he talks about is her. He's moved her into his home, bought her a Mercedes and taken her on two romantic trips abroad, all in 8 months.
What am I complaining about, you may wonder? Well I was with him for 13 years and gave him four children and he never ever for once took me on a romantic trip abroad. Not once in 13 years.
Just two nights ago, he told me that he's never loved anyone as much as he loves this woman and is planning to pop the question this valentine.
I was with him for 13 years, 4 years dating and 9 years married and he's never loved anyone as much as he loves this woman he met 8 months ago? I know you read this blog occasionally J, thank you!
Well, its normal to feel that way but your divorced so you just have to deal with the feeling and move on as long as he takes care of the kids. And he may just be doing all that to make you feel jealous.
well maybe you never loved him the way he wanted to be loved or you wanted to be the head of the house, most women do that these days, talking about their rights their rights. the same thing happend to me thats why i can say what im saying. and yes i am a man. my new girl is so happy she even wants to thank my ex for pushing me away
what can I say girl.... that's men for you! My advice to you is to open up ur world and let him go, you might be surprised you would also find someone to love you in a very special way..... hmmm you say 8mths.... he is just giddy lets see what he says when its 8 years if they make it that long..... he will remember the 13yrs he had with u..... I promise!
this is s sad:-( some men are just not worth it v resolved that nothing a man does wl ever shock me again NEVER thats life my lady, pick it up and give all ur love to ur kids!!!
U sound so jealous, hmmmmm get used to it & look for some1 dat will tell u de same tin too. Dats men for u, its obvious he married for α gud reason mayb family brought-up or he sees u as some1 who can make α gud mother to his kids. He didn't marry u for luv, he neva loved u. If u're still young, get on wit ur life, every1's star can neva be de same. God be wit u.
I think you've answered the question yourself. People show love in different ways. He probably showed that he loved you in a different way but you may have been busy comparing him with your friends and their hubby/boyfriends. Now, you are on the outside looking in and you can't still appreciate how he showered you with love when you 1st started dating as well. My dear, move on, from what you said it was a mutual decision to split. Stop crying over spilled milk. Take care of the 4 children God has given you that is your primary assignment & stop trying to analyze what you don't have control over! -LOVE Doc
My comment is directed at J, the husband. Mano a Mano, why are you doing this to the mother of your children and by extension to the kids? You have every right to fall in love again but why are you telling her all these details? And you have reduced the frequency of visits to your children cos of this new babe? Now that is a real tragedy! Your children must always come first. Play your position, dude!
Leave him, the adrenaline rush will soon slow down, and then he will have to deal with the reality maintaining a relationship, don't feel too bad,he is obviously insensitive ..... look for your own and forget him!
This is so touching and painful....J I hoped you are not jazzed... Even if you really love this new babe so much,you don't have to flaunt it to your ex wifey... And any woman that makes you forget your kids is not a good woman... Ex wifey pls take it easy and pray. It is well
Either you made urself 'too available' and i mean too available for him to see you as maybe a baby producing factory or he just liked you as a partner with nothing more attached to it. You loved him, but obviously he didnt love you as you expected him to. Try and move on with your life and try not to dwell so much on what he ddnt do for you. You might be lucky, someone out there will see you and appreciate you like you deserve. (Hopefully sha as 4kids are involved)
Sorry ma'am,as they say,'u don carry ur boyfriend do husband '! Now he has found his own Real wife,I hope u find urs too. Cos for u two not to be able to work it out after 9yrs of marriage,but could still be gud friends after the collapse of the marriage shows u pple were just supposed to be friends!aftreall from time immemorial,everyone knows marriage gets better as the years go by!
Sad indeed,,it happens,this world is really a wicked world,,whether he loved u dat much shouldnt be your priority bt getting Him back cos its obvious ur still in love and also for the sake of ur children.....pray continuously that 14 feb shldnt be a reality for the engagement and that God in His miraculous ways shld turns things around.....i wish you the very best,,,Hold on and be strong..
lmao,linda ds ur oh dear don tire me......d guy has moved on naaa,is it by years?abegiii,love happens n a minute,d woman has given him or shown him hw he needs to be treated,she didnt ve to be wit him for donkey years to do that,u on d other hand didnt try enuf,let him be biko-dont spoil ds val for him oooo.hia
i can imagine the pain you are feeling. you guys are divorced now so there's nothing you can do but to pray for him and wish him the best, after all he is the father of your children and i pray that God will Help you find you own love, some one that would be the best thing that ever happened to you in Jesus name Amen.
My Dear, Ofcourse the 'relationship' will change.He is in love! So definitely he can not relate to you the way he did before he met her. Then he never took you on romantic trips because you did not require him to. Sorry to hear about this sha!
Dear Lady, just get over it, you have lost him already so no need crying over that. The best thing about the past is that it shows you what not to bring into your future.
Kpele. It is either she has the bomb pussy or she is playing wicked hard to get so its a game for him to get her to be as submissive and "nice" as you were. Either way, his eye will probably clear soon
You gave up your food to the wolves ma'am....for you guys to be close after d divorce means IT CAN STILL WORK OUT between you two....... The only advice i have for you is dat you should GO ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY TO GOD TO GIVE YOU YOUR HUSBAND BACK AND HE SHOULD TEACH YOU HOW TO GET HIM BACK AND MAKE THINGS WORK.......dats if you still love him though.....May the Lord help you
Dis is really saddening,tot marryn some1 means dt person is d 1 who has a place in ur heart dt no oda can occupy,u wud nid to brace urself and ur ex shud still love his kids as he used to,I mean wat sort of man changes his attitude towards his kids cos a new woman is involved,plus he shud kip details abt their relatnship to himself,listening to him blab abt her wud make u green with jealousy and sadness# try and be happy love#
For some reason this story made me cry...life is soo unfair, u can give aLl of urself to someone or something with no guarantee of getting it bck! Nd then someone else comes nd does nxt to nothing nd it works....I'm scared of love, I'm scared of Men! *sigh*
Oh wow, that's so unfortunate. As with anything in life ( and I know it really sucks), we always have to "let it go" even when its not our fault and someone else is just so unfair and wrong to us..you have to let it go. Please don't see it as a reflection of who you are. Its his actions, his..not yours. Don't let it define or as impossible as this sounds, affect you going forward. 14 years and 4 kids is not a joke, I know. But he messed up, not you. Move on with your life as best as you can, free the situation. Don't compare yourself to the new lady. He messed up and he's having a blast, why shouldn't you? J, if you read this..no need to say things like you've never loved anyone like this to your ex. No need to be mean. Be happy with your new life but still be considerate to your ex wife. No bueno :(
I ALWAYS SAY NEVER BE WITH A MAN THAT LONG (4YRS DATING) UNLESS ITS BECAUSE HE ISNT FINANCIALLY READY. A MAN KNOWS IMMEDIATELY THAT HE IS CRAZY ABOUT SOMEONE AND CAN'T BE WITHOUT THAT PERSON. USUALLY WHEN A MATURED (I.E. STABLE MAN) IS WAITING 3YRS+ TO POP THE QUESTION, HE REALLY IS JUST STILL LOOKING FOR THAT 'ONE', YOU ARE NOT IT. BUT EVENTUALLY, THEY DO SETTLE IF THEY CANT FIND THE 'ONE' AND THAT'S WHY MANY MEN TAKE YEARS TO POP THE QUESTION TO THEIR GFs. HARD FACT BUT TRUE BECAUSE I HAVE MANY MATURE MARRIED MALE FRIENDS AND I AM LUCKY TO RECEIVE ADVICE FROM THEM ON RELATIONSHIP ISSUES.
THIS STORY IS UNFORTUNATE, HOWEVER, MOVE ON FROM IT. AND DONT GIVE UP BECAUSE YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE YOU TO ROMANTIC PLACES AND BEYOND...SOMEONE WHO WILL DERIVE TRUE HAPPINESS IN SEEING YOU SMILE. BOTTOMLINE IS, EVEN AFTER 13YRS TOGETHER, J DIDN'T DESERVE YOU. MOVE ON GIRL!! AND LET HIM BE JEALOUS
Oh my! This is a true story and I feel your pain. I can only ask you to move on. Afterall you guys couldn't make it work for 9 years. Maybe you were best as friends. I feel you should respect his decisions and the fact that he could come out to tell you means he trusts you. Sometimes, it's all a flash in the pan. If you can apply the Pareto principle in this case, that lady he thinks is all might not just be anything. Time will tell. And he may come back to you (most likely) but if he doesn't just move on. And don't quit being friends for your children's sake. I wish I could write more but I have a dedicated column on relationships on naijapose.com you could check as often as you can. Get over it best, you are the best regardless of how any man deems fit to treat you. KEEP LOVING AND LIVING.
I know it's hurtful. Just let it go. The sad reality is that he didn't love you that way, that's the reality, don't hold on to it.Let go. If you have to stop talking so much to him to heal yourself from that pain, then do so. Just do what's right for yourself and your children. I can't imagine the pain, after being with someone for so long and it's like he's a completely different person. You start to ask yourself why you weren't enough and all that. Please don't do that to yourself. Just move on.It was what it was and it is what it is ( if that makes sense). Life is too short.Focus on what will make you happy, right now (within reach).You oew it to yourself.
wow!! This is so sad, J ,I hope you are reading this oh, did you ever spend quality time with your ex wife before divorce. I'm putting myself in this woman's shoes and gosh I will be so crazy if I hear all this stuff
Tbh, I really dont care what was going on in the marriage but so far you have kids, Divorce should not be an option. Having Problems? Take your ass in the other room and calm down, cause we gone work this shit out. You`re African, infact Nigerian and you freaking have kids. WTH! I just feel so youve loved yourselves once, you can fall inlove again. FINISH!
Hmmmm Ekwensu enwee phone number. My dear,my advice is u should forget about J and his new found love,and try ur best to be d best mum in d world to ur children. They'll shower u with love like never before.
Awwwwwwwwwwwww... Now that hurts... I just saw this all over BBM "Guys Always Know Who Their Heart Belongs To,So If U Like Cook Chicken In Diamond Sauce Or Do Monkey Style In Bed,If Its Nt U, No be U o" This applies here.. After 13 years of cooking, making babies etc his heart belongs to someone else.. Itz really sad n hurtful.. *BBM sad face*
I'm sad beyond words.men u can never understand them. For one-day he dint think a women who bore him four kids n married him for yrs deserved a flower.smddh.tks heart dear
MR J eida u are charmed or u are charmed.... U shld at least treat this woman right... She bore ur kids... And if u were patient enof to try new stuffs with her things might av been diff... And former Mrs J make urself hotter maybe its midlife crises and the girl got sweet loving or maybe she is bleachy and attractive girl...... Make urself attractive remb y he loved u bfr try same secret he wld want ur attention at on point and move on lady treat urself....
Really very sad! What did he see in the other woman that his dear wife never had! In my own opinion any man who cannot love his own wife through it all is a coward & a wussy.
Really very sad! What did he see in the other woman that his dear wife never had! In my own opinion any man who cannot love his own wife through it all is a coward & a wussy. I never blame some women whenever they lament that all men are the same.
Don't take it personal but sometimes when we know better we do better. She doesn't have anything over you she just met him at a different time, after different experiences so he is different. It's very difficult to be different with someone you have known for a long time because you fall into to patterns in relationships.
She needs to move on instead of asking pointless questions. You are now divorced so what he does with his new girlfriend & what type of love they have for each other are information you shouldn't even have bothered asking about. Why are you sitting down & discussing your ex-husbands love life with him? Why are you keeping tabs on what he has bought for her & where he has taken her. Are you a glutton for heartbreak? If he wants to propose to his new girlfriend, why hold a conference with you first? Seriously, it is over- stay out of whats going on in his life & do not allow him to feed you stories on his escapades. Move on, set boundaries, work on being happy alone or meeting someone who makes you happy.
PS: Linda, it this is a fake story, God punish you for wasting my time o
So sad to hear I think that he never really love you, being with A man and having his kids doesn't really mean loVe to some men.its a pity u just have to move on with your life
Woman, I'm very sure this lady has introduced your husband to a new world of SEX and romance... Painful as it is, sex plays a major role in marriage.... Then again, I'm sure this lady is much younger than your ex, hence, the excitement. It is well.
Woman, I'm very sure this lady has introduced your husband to a new world of SEX and romance... Painful as it is, sex plays a major role in marriage.... Then again, I'm sure this lady is much younger than your ex, hence, the excitement. It is well.
First of all, we love more than once in our life. Sorry for your pain but the truth is your ex is actually exorcising the demons of your marriage. In other words he is trying to make this work and he is putting his best effort. Two failed marriage is nothing to be proud of especially in a community as ours. My prayer is that you find someone who would sweep you off your feet. I just think you should talk to him and ask him the difference.
All I can is continue prayin to God, he is der 4 u, he can make ur ex come back to u or better still send an angel inform of a man to u dat will love n care 4 u & ur kids more dan ur ex. Wit God all tins are possible, wit him romantic trips are small tin, cars re small tins. So always pray to him. Xoxo Mary
Eyyyaaa...I feel ur pain lady but u gotta dust ur pants & move on. If ur fat, go on a diet, den go shopping, get new sexy clothes, get a new hairdo, and go out dere. I trust u'll meet a man dt wld luv u more dan ur ex eva did. Damn him mehn!!! Anywayz, I wld luv 2 use ds media2 announce 2 d world dt I luv my boo so much. Hez d best* big smile*
All I can is continue prayin to God, he is der 4 u, he can make ur ex come back to u or better still send an angel inform of a man to u dat will love n care 4 u & ur kids more dan ur ex. Wit God all tins are possible, wit him romantic trips are small tin, cars re small tins. So always pray to him. Xoxo Mary
Interesting story but is this for us or J? Well my advice is that you move on with your own life rather than hold on to straws. He was that kind and attentive all along because he was bored and lonely, now he's found someone he loves (like never before) and he has no use for that anymore tho the children don't deserve to suffer for that. I'm sure you're really hurt and angry, but if u mattered that much to him, when u guys were acting like besties he would have tried to get back together with you. Bottom line is please move on with your life.
I am amazed how most women think they can emulate Europeans and Americans in the way they go in and out of marriage. We have to understand that our values are different. Back in the day women were submissive and allow their men to take care of things which every man wants to feel as the head head of the house . Women of this generation says they are capable of being the bread winner ,and want to act the man as head of the house,no man even a deaf will speak against it. I am not saying women are marginalized but they have their roles as wives. Single ladies back in the day would go to school,find a job and marry to raise kids,as a result parents become proud of them irrespective of whether they have houses,range rover,expensive outfits etc. Women now put material things before family and marriage! I am not saying you arent complete without marriage. If women think marriage and staying married doesn't validate them then I wonder if wordly things will validate them. Some women chase shadows because they want to oppress their mates. Imagine a lady of 32 yrs saying she is not in a rush or she hasn't seen the right man,what do you mean by "I have nt met the right man?" so say they want to gather wealth first which pushes them to dating endlessly or even destroying people's relationships/homes.
There is no amount of money you will have as a woman that will validate you as compared to if you had a husband with kids. Marriage doesn't stop your destiny,it doesn't make you fail in life. I read where they compared Agbani Derego with Oluchi! Who ever tried to compare both was blind. Woman it's too late,instead of you to reconcile with ur husband ,you allowed pride to take away what belongs to you.
Can you women ever learn? After 4kids you had the mind to divorce? Hmmmm you made a mistake babe. People should not allow pride to destroy what they have suffered for or allow friends to decide for them. The western people you copy won't complain about what you are complaining about . Don't let any lonely or bittered woman decieve u that marriage is not necessary or that divorce is normal,hell NO! If I was ur bro I would have asked u to stay in ur marriage haba after 4kids? Which normal man will genuinely commit himself to a woman with 4kids when there are single ladies out there looking for men whether single or married as long as na man and he get Dyck. Every celebrated marriage today has had its crisis which doesn't totally define the marriage. I know some lonely bittered women who feel men can't take care of them will disagree with me just to make sure there are more people in their shoes that way they aren't left alone .
Women if men can't validate you what will? You think your Bb ,Brazilian hair,cars,LV hand bags,watches,shoes,cars,houses,partying like a missing dog etc will?
Madam why did you divorce him when you know you are still in love with him? Going by your story,You are still much in love with your Ex. I hate divorce u should have worked more on your marriage if not for anything, for your kids. Instead you divorced him. Am not married but I know 40% of marriages in Nigeria have issues and am sure not all 40% are divorced, mind you his attitude towards you and ur kids will worsen as soon as he marries this girl, just get ready for that one too. Now high blood pressure will be your case
Ds s sooo Sadhin,Men cn b so annoyinli wiked, Gosh; mother of ur kids, d woman u v bin wif for 13yrs.smtyms i jus wonder if truli dr s nytin called Love.well ol i knw s only Jesus cn gv true meanin of Love nd e did by dyin on d cross. Dear writer jus go to Jesus nd e wl fill evri pt of U nd mk u happi.
Awwww,I shed a tear after this......I feel so sorry 4 u...am so scared of getting married,4years of dating,with 4kids and nothing to show 4 it...not even 1 romantic trip,Ur ex is wicked....
So sad but I tink u shld start loving urself nd puting urself first, reduce ur intrest in his business nd occupy ur mind wit more intresting things, like travel,books,learning something new.you never can tell love would find you.
Hmmmmmm I feel Ūя̲̅ pain A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ dissapointment.thAt is vry bad of him,that means he neva loved U̶̲̥̅̊ @ all b4. don't worry with God on Ūя̲̅ side U̶̲̥̅̊ will find Ūя̲̅ beta half one day that wiLl love U̶̲̥̅̊ 4ever.try A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ move on
I know a guys whose name beings with J and has this same very story, but he doesn't read this blog, to the best of my knowledge, and his wife is abroad with their 4 kids... but technically they are not divorced.
But the Mercedes and the trips to Dubai and living with the chick is all the same... 'Love' I doubt it cos everyone knows she and her mother has used juju to clean his face...
My dear 4get abt wat pple flaunt!.. 4get abt wat de are trying to make u believe!.. Concentrate on picking de remaining bits and pieces of ur life and move forward!.. My pple have an adage dt says.." Ogodo ga eru nwanyi ebe oruru ibeya".. Give it time and u will see is all make believe!
Awww! Sorry sweetie, I can imagine how devastated you are. The simple truth is men want to be in love just the way women want. The harsh reality is, if he wasn't really that into you, there's not much you can do to make him fall in love with you hence your broken marriage. You couldn't stir his passion no matter how hard you tried, honey don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with you as a person. It's just that you were never really "the one" for him. Once a man meets a woman that rouses the sleeping tiger in him, all hell breaks loose! He falls madly for her and can even break up a 10year relationship only to marry the new woman in less than 6months. That is why he is doing over and beyond what he did for you during your 13year-relationship/marriage, in spite of the children you both share. This is another reason being "friends" with a fomer lover can be tricky, most times one party gets hurt. I understand the need to remain cordial after a divorce because of the kids but I think you over-stepped. It appears deep down you still held on to the fantasy of your marriage while your ex has obviously moved on. It's sad. I pray God unites you with the bone of your bones then, you will experience what true love feels like and that love will mend your broken heart.*hugs*
Hmmm, truth is probably she conected with him emotionally, when a man conects with a woman emotionaly hw wants to protect her,take care of her even destroy the for her. Maybe he dint ave dat wit u. But not to worry his ur ex already, tym for u to revamp, stop geting into his busines ur now ur own busines stop d friendly bullshit ur emotions are @ staken, start doing tins for urslef, learn somtyn new,bring out ur inner Diva.
My dear that love 4 u. Mayb he has found thatconnection he has been looking for. N who knows she might be doing things u never did. I dated a guy I never loved but stayed cus I didn't want 2 hurt him. Although I loved him cus he loved me. But that strong connection is impoortant. Another side to the story is that he might just be blinded by love
Hmmm, truth is probably she conected with him emotionally, when a man conects with a woman emotionaly he wants to protect her,take care of her even destroy the world for her. Maybe he dint ave dat wit u. But not to worry his ur ex already, tym for u to revamp, stop geting into his busines ur now ur own busines stop d friendly bullshit ur emotions are @ stake, start doing tins for urslef, learn somtyn new,bring out ur inner Diva.
Wait wait wait! He bought her a Merce-Gini! Pls sister can I have his number? I will advice you if you give me his number. 2 romantic trips in 8 months chei!
So touching...I feel like crying..we all find love in a hopeless place...probably he married you not cos of the love he had for you but he knew you'll be a good wife material that can take care of the home and the children..but you really need to move on..very soon you'll def find a man that will love ,cherish and adore you like never before..so sorry love..it is well..
Na wa ooooo, its hard to comment on this one. You shouldn't have gotten too close to him after the divorce. He should've let him go for good and he visits d children only. Just take things easy, u will meet a guy that will make u tell him d same tin. But that ur formal husband can talk ooooo, couldn't he have been abit diplomatic. Some MEN!!!!! They will just open their mouth gbam and air out nonsense....
Passive agressive much? Writing to a blog in hopes that your ex will read it is just not that way to go abt things. Just tell the man you're hurt. Your relationship will never be the same. He's obviously moved on and so should you.
My dear. If u notice, u both were close after the divorce. Free d separation why didn't u try to make it back d way it used to.as in be together notwithstanding the circumstances. But rather u were enjoying the friendship. During the aftermath divorce u didn't make him understand the important of having a family until u allow d devil complete his action. The only advice I have for you, is prayer and fasting. Bcos marriage is something the enemy don't want. U might say its d will of God but I totally disagree. Cos God thought for us is good and not evil but to give us n expected end. And it also says that d weapon of our warfare aint canal but spiritual able to pull down strong hold. My dear, go before ur kneel and pray. But to be frank with u, it seems all you care about wat material things not ur home.
That is men for you honey. He didnt take you on trips because you never stated you wanted to go on trips. If you want to be treated like a queen shou should have carried yourself as one. Im sure you were one of those overly submissive wife. Anyhow life goes on, you should be focused on how he is treating your children now not how he is in love with another woman. MOVE ON.
he never loved u na? u said it for urself.hes in love.pls leave him alone.u have moved on, abeg dont go and poison their food o! go and find ur own better half.
Ur obviously still. In love wt him while he has moved on! Its true dat u will feel d pain cos of ur kids buh wht did u call him again? Ur ex?it means expired so move on and stop listening to his trash dat way u will forget him! And pls and pls don't judge him by not taking u to trips probably u guys were not rich wen u guys started and babies started coming ! So many aristors travel wt their chics and buys cars why their wives are house wives nd baby machines so dear he's ur ex don't forget that move on find happiness in ur kids! I feel ur pain
Get over it and move on with your life...you can't get jealous over your ex or make him your best friend! All you can do is make him take care of his kids!! Too late now to cry over spilt milk!!!
Well, its easier to love girlfriend than a wife. I think. The kind of love I ve received from my bf and d few ex's, am sure no husband wil quantify thatt love in my marital life. These men literaLly worship me...lol.am even scared accepting their proposals cos I fear the whole love and care wil drop! Yea it always drops once ur a wifey!same ways guyz go out of their way to give their gfs head buh wil never do that to their wifeys....dats y I admire d likes of psquare n lola...d moment its termed marriage music don change...even if u popped out 10 kids for him
i feel your pain, there is Nufin like giving your all and receiving non. but u have no business been his frnd, you are just killing yourself. wish him well and move on, that's the way forward
Don't get confused woman...the guy has moved on and you need to find a man that will love you too and move on.... He use to love you, but now he love the new lady more than he use to love you...madam #moveON
Things in love hurts, there is no easy way to break someones heart. You are hurting, and it is hard to take but that's life. We grow up, life get complicated. The only person that can look after you is yourself.
Lol. Sorry ma'am. He never loved you. I think you might wanna quit the 'excess' friendship and just be cordial because of the kids. This would help you move on and maybe find someone who loves you too. Sometimes, drop the kids with him and his girlfriend for the weekend. This will give you time to let your hair down and mingle (if you know what I mean). So sorry you just realised. That's the world we live in.
Jst let by-gones be by-gones. U've already divorced him so dias no point comparing ur tym wit him & wot he does 4 his new found love.. It's obvious he didn't lov u dt much irrespective of how long it lasted.
Sweeties yrs dnt count, he has found his soul mate and dats why he feels dat way and anoda way 2 look at it is, he doesn't want d same problem he had wiff u 2 pop up wiff her, he s tryna be a betta man, accept it move on and get urself a man who wld luv u
Men can be quite insensitive and human nature is such that one can not predict how pple emotions work... You need to move on, u myt have done dt a lil bt u haven't done dt totally... U need to, its hard but u ve to and by the way "J" u put d "J" in Jerk...
This is such a very harsh feeling to find out someone you love will almost never be yours again, I think you should move on, pick the pieces of your life and move on, forgive his probable betrayal, I can sense that you feel hurt and dejected ,the good thing is that you have four children to your credit and a future only God knows, why should you let your past arrest your present and suffocate your future, you are heart broken and must heal before you find love again, otherwise pray for your ex, may be he will come back but that may be a lottery to have you ex coming back to you.
This is such a very harsh feeling to find out someone you love will almost never be yours again, I think you should move on, pick the pieces of your life and move on, forgive his probable betrayal, I can sense that you feel hurt and dejected ,the good thing is that you have four children to your credit and a future only God knows, why should you let your past arrest your present and suffocate your future, you are heart broken and must heal before you find love again, otherwise pray for your ex, may be he will come back but that may be a lottery to have you ex coming back to you.
Wht would be would be.u neva knw wht is at work o.but sit,think nd understand where u gt it wrong,get up pad up urself and start again a better one tht is urs wuld cumm.stop counting d yrs.I waited for a man also tht messed up,here I am married today to a cute nd sweet guy also wit a cute son.
geskia,im trin not to curse him bcos im a christain bt before i cud remember d christain part,my mind already did!!!.what im amazed at id why add salt to injury by rubbing it in ur face???? four kids!!!! i have one and i know d hell i went thru not to mention four!!!!hmnnn.....(muttering unimaginable explextives)i comment my reserve literaly.
I CAN FEEL THE PAIN ,MY DEAR JUST ASK GOD TO GIVE THE HEART TO BEAR IT,DON'T DIE FOR HIM,I CAN SEE YOU STILL LOVE HIM BUT HE HAS MOVED ON SO YOU NEED TO ADJUST YOURSELF TOO AND MOVE ON,TRAIN YOUR KIDS,GOD WILL SURELY WIPE AWAY THE TEARS.
Sorry You threw it all away. By walking out on your marriage,you opened the door for another woman to come in. Its no use crying over spilt milk anymore. For the sake of your children, move on with your life!! As for the romantic trips abroad during an 8 month meeting with a new woman, you are not comparing like with like. When hes been married to her for 13 years(if it lasts that long),then come back to compare. A leopard cant ever change his spots.A man who will sacrifce his children for the love of another woman cant be worth much. Time will tell.
Girl move on with ur life having four kids for a man dat never loved u for 9yrs I know it hurts but a man is out there dat will love u and ur kids more than 9years wish him well and let it go. Stand striaght be d real mother for ur kids and ur own man will come ur way to love u more as a wife and be a good father to ur kids and with my dear prayer is always d key dat opens door of solution to all problems.
Hiaaaann as he's sayin the truth nko?he didn't lov u that much that's y it neva worked btwn u guys maybe.u sef go n love another person na,u think men care?beta don't waste ya time,the only thing u shuld b concernd abt is he shudnt stop caring for d kids...pls u shuld move on,cos its obvious he has...I feel ur pain sha...do u still love him?or u still feel somethin for him?its painful even if u don't hv feelings for him it will still pain.LOL
I think you need to start praying for your EX, at least for the sake of the children you guys have together. One of two things; he could really and genuinely love this other girl, or he has entered ONE CHANCE i.e. hands of a runs babe, who is all out to milk him dry and leave him hanging when there is nothing to milk again. With the kind or resources lavished on this so called babe in 8 months, hmnnn, something is sure wrong somewhere.
Either u weren't doing things to him which this woman does ( sexually) or there's some fetish angle to d woman or u were not spiritually strong when married or maybe d man has just decided to let go totally n move on. Looks like u still love him n want him back. Do pray fervently to God for an intervention. Physically u r in a disadvantaged position as u guys r divorced already, but if its ur heart desire n Gods will, u go for it n lay everything at Gods feet. I am sure it's not very easy for u raising d kids alone. Truth is no marriage is perfect, a woman especially needs Gods grace cos on s long run she's more vulnerable n men find it easier to move on. I pray God helps you find inner peace n joy n guide you
Oh dear how sad..but I think its time to move on..some people are meant to be jst good friends but yours bore him 4kids..not to worry clean up and take care of yourself and Kids the man that will sweep u off your feet is on d way...and as for your ex wish him luck this might jst be it for him..try and remain friends cos of your wonderful kids...I really do feel your pain and I wish u luck.
its not like you're seeking advice. I mean, what can we say? The guy is gonna do what he wants and nothing will stop him. It sucks but that's how men are, they're dogs.
But in the old fashion Nigerian way, she gave him love medicine to drink! LOL
well dear if i can call u that ur ex-hubby is not in love with this lady he is in love with freedom. if you want to know if he his truely in love with the new lady wait few years in to the marraige and let the kids start rolling in then you will know if he still truely in love.
woman what are you complaining about...you just said both of you were divorced....my dear thats the way life goes..he never loved anyone like he loved the woman hes with doesn't mean he never loved you at all...what you need to do is get back out there...get yourself a man to do right by you..yes u married the wrong one..now go find your own mr right and dnt dwell in the past....
He is a Selfish Man... There is no 2ways about! I just have one question for him "will u be happy is one of ur kids, assuming u ve a daughter is treated the way u ve treated ur ex" Sometimes men are so blind , dat it takes all the strength and dignity not to physically attack them!
Anyway, the writer should go on with her life, I know its quite difficult to find another man with 4kids and after 13yrs with one, but trust me there is someone out there for u... Altho I hope ur selfish husband would grow up /open his eyes
Don't feel bad..just wish him well. If he claims to be lip smacking happy, just wish him the best. Trust me, it always ends up the same; Same script, different cast. All that leeching unto you was to make sure you didn't think of getting out to date. Just find something or someone that makes you happy too; which ever one comes first. Its about time! You deserve to be happy.
There you have it. Yo Lady, you and this man are obviously good friends. You said it yourself that the marriage ended because you BOTH could not make it work. How is it that he has found happiness and you are getting all salty?
Both of you could have put in effort to make your marriage work but there was probably so much pride. You can't technically be mad at him.
well he's prolly telling the truth.. the lady is prolly doing that something you never did that he had always longed for but never told you. you wrote at the end that J ( I supposed your husband) occasionally reads this blog. If it is thru then this is or him, Never abandon your children let alone their mother If you must leave, do not let them feel it. An I must say telling her " you've never loved anyone as much.." is just totally uncool. keep things like that to yourself, nevertheless, I do not know your motives for that. And for you my lady, do not complain so much about it. The man you once loved is long gone. Put yourself together, try to find love again if it is you want or just find something to be happy about.
And to other LIBers, check this story out.. http://www.gossipboyz.com/2013/01/revealed-how-k-solo-defrauded-osun.html
Men are like dat darling,after popping out 4 kids,he still hasn't loved anybody d way he loves dis one? Wat can I say,he wasn't just into u then.my advice honey... Get over it.As 4 u J,eat shit.
I don't usually comment on blogs bt ma'am ds ur story touched every bone in my body.lord ve mercy!!! N am scared alrdy :( chei! U can never know a man at all ohh!! Despite ur 13yrs
In simple quote 'He felt nothing for you'.You can be with someone hundred years, but if the feeling of love is not there, then it is not.Sorry for the loss.
It is well! Are you sure its just been 8 months? anyway, pele dear. A woman's enemy is always a woman,knowingly or unknowingly,its definitely a woman... Be careful.:)that's my PM for this morning. Have a nice day.
Well,9 years and four kids.that's a long time.but now ur eyes have been opened,and u have to thank your God that it wasn't more than that,don't dwell on it,yes it hurts and you are bound to be depressed and sad.but don't let the failed marriage take more than it has already taken from u.u deserve happiness,everybody does,he has found his and I hope he is doing the right thing.as for you,pls pls pls take your mind of him and his new woman,do only those things that will make you happy,you spendt 13 years wit the wrong man,accept that,and MOVE ON.the lord is your strength and he knows u deserve better and you will definately get better!
That's sad and I feel bad for you. I don't think you've really moved on from you ex and your "friendship" over the years has probably not helped you. If you weren't such good friends he wouldn't tell you these intimate feelings he has for his new lady.
Also, your ex is obviously insensitive to tell you things such as he's never loved anyone like the new lady. I'll advise you to distance yourself, not the children, from him. Stop seeing him as your friend. He's the father of your kids plain and simple. You don't need him to be using you as a friend to share his romantic escapades. Your situation is exactly the reason why I don't believe in being chummy with exes nd esp not one you were married to and have kids with! It's a recipe for more heartbreak! You can be cordial for the sake of your kids without being BFFs.
You didn't say if you're in a relationship or have been in one since the divorce. I'm sure it can't be easy dating with 4kids but I'd say get out there, go out be social, take classes, find a new hobby or interest that will keep you occupied. Who knows, you just might meet someone. I wish you well.
when a man falls in love he falls with everything. The fact that he stayed with you that long doesn't mean he loved u guess Dats why he was able to build a strong bond with u after ur divorce. Just tlk to him so he can atleast see the kids more often.
U have allowed another man (woman) to reap the fruit of your labour just because of your impatience. May God not allow me to loose what I have laboured for when the time of reward comes.
Look at it this way: maybe he has learned from his mistakes with you and now knows how to overlook things. As a result, his second relationship seems sweeter to him.
Also, it seems you don't want him to move on. It was bound to happen na. That's why being friends with an ex is a no-no for me. Life happens dear.
Interesting story! Doesn't move me one bit because I strongly believe you got what you deserve. This is what pride does to people, you have one last card and should play it right if you are smart. You gotta talk to that man and get him back if you still love him. Trust me, he will do more than he is doing for his new catch.
You girls need to learn that it is so effing easy to have you man do virtually everything you want! Simply play the mugu, no pride, no contest..try play the head and you will lose it all. It is a given!
sister nothing gud comz easy. Is either u change ur attitude towards men or u'll stay unmarried. Do u kw hw we men feel abt women, we feel we should not marry cus women hav so deride on our intelligent even circumscribe our discretion. I always shed tears wen a fellow woman talk abt d ungodly n indecency of gals dat we shud b careful n prayerful
So true.funny enough,the new chic may not be treating him as good.its jus how love works.when you meet someone you love,you don't care what you give up and how much you spend.truth be told,if he had loved her that way,he would have gotten back with her as they have been friends for a while and comfortable......
Take heart dear,some friendships need not be extended into a relationship.ypou and this guy were jus very dear friends.and for lack of options,you opted to just be together.you realized on time and divorced and your mind was still tied to him.most times,it is true that we find love just once in a lifetime.hes found his own.and he loves u enough as a friend to pour out his heart to you concerning this woman.just cheer up,cos you will live with it for a long time as he is father to your kids.may God heal you.amen
293 comments:
1 – 200 of 293 Newer› Newest»Well, its normal to feel that way but your divorced so you just have to deal with the feeling and move on as long as he takes care of the kids. And he may just be doing all that to make you feel jealous.
Juju at work.
That's life...
Don't hold onto the hurt
Your own happiness will come..
well maybe you never loved him the way he wanted to be loved or you wanted to be the head of the house, most women do that these days, talking about their rights their rights. the same thing happend to me thats why i can say what im saying. and yes i am a man.
my new girl is so happy she even wants to thank my ex for pushing me away
what can I say girl.... that's men for you! My advice to you is to open up ur world and let him go, you might be surprised you would also find someone to love you in a very special way..... hmmm you say 8mths.... he is just giddy lets see what he says when its 8 years if they make it that long..... he will remember the 13yrs he had with u..... I promise!
this is s sad:-(
some men are just not worth it
v resolved that nothing a man does wl ever shock me again
NEVER
thats life my lady, pick it up and give all ur love to ur kids!!!
U mean say na juju d odr woman use hold abi wetin!
U sound so jealous, hmmmmm get used to it & look for some1 dat will tell u de same tin too. Dats men for u, its obvious he married for α gud reason mayb family brought-up or he sees u as some1 who can make α gud mother to his kids. He didn't marry u for luv, he neva loved u. If u're still young, get on wit ur life, every1's star can neva be de same. God be wit u.
He's not your husband
Hmmmmmmmmmm... :( I feel ur pain woman. Btw, dt man fit don chop vegetable ooo...
I think you've answered the question yourself. People show love in different ways. He probably showed that he loved you in a different way but you may have been busy comparing him with your friends and their hubby/boyfriends. Now, you are on the outside looking in and you can't still appreciate how he showered you with love when you 1st started dating as well. My dear, move on, from what you said it was a mutual decision to split. Stop crying over spilled milk. Take care of the 4 children God has given you that is your primary assignment & stop trying to analyze what you don't have control over!
-LOVE Doc
My comment is directed at J, the husband. Mano a Mano, why are you doing this to the mother of your children and by extension to the kids? You have every right to fall in love again but why are you telling her all these details? And you have reduced the frequency of visits to your children cos of this new babe? Now that is a real tragedy! Your children must always come first. Play your position, dude!
Leave him, the adrenaline rush will soon slow down, and then he will have to deal with the reality maintaining a relationship, don't feel too bad,he is obviously insensitive ..... look for your own and forget him!
This is so touching and painful....J I hoped you are not jazzed... Even if you really love this new babe so much,you don't have to flaunt it to your ex wifey... And any woman that makes you forget your kids is not a good woman... Ex wifey pls take it easy and pray. It is well
Men are like dat dear,he moved on buh u never did...you were his comfort zone buh she is his magiC
Either you made urself 'too available' and i mean too available for him to see you as maybe a baby producing factory or he just liked you as a partner with nothing more attached to it. You loved him, but obviously he didnt love you as you expected him to. Try and move on with your life and try not to dwell so much on what he ddnt do for you. You might be lucky, someone out there will see you and appreciate you like you deserve. (Hopefully sha as 4kids are involved)
Lol tk heart, move on men r useless, as far as I'm concerned one way or d oda
Sorry ma'am,as they say,'u don carry ur boyfriend do husband '!
Now he has found his own Real wife,I hope u find urs too.
Cos for u two not to be able to work it out after 9yrs of marriage,but could still be gud friends after the collapse of the marriage shows u pple were just supposed to be friends!aftreall from time immemorial,everyone knows marriage gets better as the years go by!
Sad indeed,,it happens,this world is really a wicked world,,whether he loved u dat much shouldnt be your priority bt getting Him back cos its obvious ur still in love and also for the sake of ur children.....pray continuously that 14 feb shldnt be a reality for the engagement and that God in His miraculous ways shld turns things around.....i wish you the very best,,,Hold on and be strong..
lmao,linda ds ur oh dear don tire me......d guy has moved on naaa,is it by years?abegiii,love happens n a minute,d woman has given him or shown him hw he needs to be treated,she didnt ve to be wit him for donkey years to do that,u on d other hand didnt try enuf,let him be biko-dont spoil ds val for him oooo.hia
So sad,but really u gotta move on, he's ur ex. It cld only get worse. Dust it off and move on my dear
i can imagine the pain you are feeling. you guys are divorced now so there's nothing you can do but to pray for him and wish him the best, after all he is the father of your children and i pray that God will Help you find you own love, some one that would be the best thing that ever happened to you in Jesus name Amen.
My Dear, Ofcourse the 'relationship' will change.He is in love! So definitely he can not relate to you the way he did before he met her. Then he never took you on romantic trips because you did not require him to. Sorry to hear about this sha!
Dear Lady, just get over it, you have lost him already so no need crying over that. The best thing about the past is that it shows you what not to bring into your future.
Kpele. It is either she has the bomb pussy or she is playing wicked hard to get so its a game for him to get her to be as submissive and "nice" as you were. Either way, his eye will probably clear soon
You gave up your food to the wolves ma'am....for you guys to be close after d divorce means IT CAN STILL WORK OUT between you two....... The only advice i have for you is dat you should GO ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY TO GOD TO GIVE YOU YOUR HUSBAND BACK AND HE SHOULD TEACH YOU HOW TO GET HIM BACK AND MAKE THINGS WORK.......dats if you still love him though.....May the Lord help you
Well, such is life my dear.
Shit happens in life mehn. Its one of those things.
23 Ways to Win Over Your Mother-in-law
Dis is really saddening,tot marryn some1 means dt person is d 1 who has a place in ur heart dt no oda can occupy,u wud nid to brace urself and ur ex shud still love his kids as he used to,I mean wat sort of man changes his attitude towards his kids cos a new woman is involved,plus he shud kip details abt their relatnship to himself,listening to him blab abt her wud make u green with jealousy and sadness# try and be happy love#
Awwwwh, poor thing.... But na so men b! Na initial gra gra... U too r still hung up on him. It's about time u moved on FOR REALz.... All d best
Touching
For some reason this story made me cry...life is soo unfair, u can give aLl of urself to someone or something with no guarantee of getting it bck! Nd then someone else comes nd does nxt to nothing nd it works....I'm scared of love, I'm scared of Men! *sigh*
Oh wow, that's so unfortunate.
As with anything in life ( and I know it really sucks), we always have to "let it go" even when its not our fault and someone else is just so unfair and wrong to us..you have to let it go.
Please don't see it as a reflection of who you are. Its his actions, his..not yours. Don't let it define or as impossible as this sounds, affect you going forward.
14 years and 4 kids is not a joke, I know. But he messed up, not you. Move on with your life as best as you can, free the situation. Don't compare yourself to the new lady. He messed up and he's having a blast, why shouldn't you?
J, if you read this..no need to say things like you've never loved anyone like this to your ex. No need to be mean. Be happy with your new life but still be considerate to your ex wife. No bueno :(
I ALWAYS SAY NEVER BE WITH A MAN THAT LONG (4YRS DATING) UNLESS ITS BECAUSE HE ISNT FINANCIALLY READY. A MAN KNOWS IMMEDIATELY THAT HE IS CRAZY ABOUT SOMEONE AND CAN'T BE WITHOUT THAT PERSON. USUALLY WHEN A MATURED (I.E. STABLE MAN) IS WAITING 3YRS+ TO POP THE QUESTION, HE REALLY IS JUST STILL LOOKING FOR THAT 'ONE', YOU ARE NOT IT. BUT EVENTUALLY, THEY DO SETTLE IF THEY CANT FIND THE 'ONE' AND THAT'S WHY MANY MEN TAKE YEARS TO POP THE QUESTION TO THEIR GFs. HARD FACT BUT TRUE BECAUSE I HAVE MANY MATURE MARRIED MALE FRIENDS AND I AM LUCKY TO RECEIVE ADVICE FROM THEM ON RELATIONSHIP ISSUES.
THIS STORY IS UNFORTUNATE, HOWEVER, MOVE ON FROM IT. AND DONT GIVE UP BECAUSE YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE YOU TO ROMANTIC PLACES AND BEYOND...SOMEONE WHO WILL DERIVE TRUE HAPPINESS IN SEEING YOU SMILE. BOTTOMLINE IS, EVEN AFTER 13YRS TOGETHER, J DIDN'T DESERVE YOU. MOVE ON GIRL!! AND LET HIM BE JEALOUS
Oh my! This is a true story and I feel your pain. I can only ask you to move on. Afterall you guys couldn't make it work for 9 years. Maybe you were best as friends. I feel you should respect his decisions and the fact that he could come out to tell you means he trusts you. Sometimes, it's all a flash in the pan. If you can apply the Pareto principle in this case, that lady he thinks is all might not just be anything. Time will tell. And he may come back to you (most likely) but if he doesn't just move on. And don't quit being friends for your children's sake. I wish I could write more but I have a dedicated column on relationships on naijapose.com you could check as often as you can.
Get over it best, you are the best regardless of how any man deems fit to treat you. KEEP LOVING AND LIVING.
Well, very simple! U neva 'serviced' him as good as ds new one is...take heart ehn! U sef find man dat will do u ghen ghen soon...
Odikwa very serious. I'm just going to wait for peoples comments. Married LIBers over to you
Four words Life is a dick
I know it's hurtful. Just let it go. The sad reality is that he didn't love you that way, that's the reality, don't hold on to it.Let go. If you have to stop talking so much to him to heal yourself from that pain, then do so. Just do what's right for yourself and your children. I can't imagine the pain, after being with someone for so long and it's like he's a completely different person. You start to ask yourself why you weren't enough and all that. Please don't do that to yourself. Just move on.It was what it was and it is what it is ( if that makes sense). Life is too short.Focus on what will make you happy, right now (within reach).You oew it to yourself.
Wow!...dis z srz. The only tin I can say is ...Pele!
wow!! This is so sad, J ,I hope you are reading this oh, did you ever spend quality time with your ex wife before divorce.
I'm putting myself in this woman's shoes and gosh I will be so crazy if I hear all this stuff
Eyah cum and marry my dad na
that means there was something you couldn't give him that dis new lady is giving
Oh dear!!
Don't try to be friends with your ex, it seldom works
Tbh, I really dont care what was going on in the marriage but so far you have kids, Divorce should not be an option. Having Problems? Take your ass in the other room and calm down, cause we gone work this shit out. You`re African, infact Nigerian and you freaking have kids. WTH! I just feel so youve loved yourselves once, you can fall inlove again. FINISH!
Why r u hiding his Id? Mention j's real name na
You should not have stayed friends with him, you should have moved on, clearly you didt, he still played a big role in your life.
Best advice is for you to look straight and move on with your own life, concentrate on you and understand that it's really over between you two.
It's really sad how men can be heartless at times but the did has been done.
Sorry dear, I hope God gives you the strength to move on.
Hmmmmmmmmmm. E get as e be oooo
oh dear i smell jealousy. My dear leave him for now d love is still shacking him wen him eyes come down he wud retrace his steps.rush in rush out
sorry hun, such is life. I don't think you should dwell to much on it cos you would just go crazy.
Just pathetic
Hmmmm Ekwensu enwee phone number.
My dear,my advice is u should forget about J and his new found love,and try ur best to be d best mum in d world to ur children. They'll shower u with love like never before.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
Awwwwwwwwwwwww...
Now that hurts... I just saw this all over BBM "Guys Always Know Who Their Heart Belongs To,So If U Like Cook Chicken In Diamond Sauce Or Do Monkey Style In Bed,If Its Nt U, No be U o" This applies here.. After 13 years of cooking, making babies etc his heart belongs to someone else.. Itz really sad n hurtful.. *BBM sad face*
I'm sad beyond words.men u can never understand them. For one-day he dint think a women who bore him four kids n married him for yrs deserved a flower.smddh.tks heart dear
Such is life.
Nah wah to all dis man oooooo.it nt fair atall y fake wat u dnt feel for dat long.God is watching us oooo let nt forget
GOD will surely arrest him, but dey shld ve not being a divorce n d first place
MR J eida u are charmed or u are charmed.... U shld at least treat this woman right... She bore ur kids... And if u were patient enof to try new stuffs with her things might av been diff... And former Mrs J make urself hotter maybe its midlife crises and the girl got sweet loving or maybe she is bleachy and attractive girl...... Make urself attractive remb y he loved u bfr try same secret he wld want ur attention at on point and move on lady treat urself....
Really very sad! What did he see in the other woman that his dear wife never had! In my own opinion any man who cannot love his own wife through it all is a coward & a wussy.
Really very sad! What did he see in the other woman that his dear wife never had! In my own opinion any man who cannot love his own wife through it all is a coward & a wussy.
I never blame some women whenever they lament that all men are the same.
Don't take it personal but sometimes when we know better we do better. She doesn't have anything over you she just met him at a different time, after different experiences so he is different. It's very difficult to be different with someone you have known for a long time because you fall into to patterns in relationships.
She needs to move on instead of asking pointless questions. You are now divorced so what he does with his new girlfriend & what type of love they have for each other are information you shouldn't even have bothered asking about. Why are you sitting down & discussing your ex-husbands love life with him? Why are you keeping tabs on what he has bought for her & where he has taken her. Are you a glutton for heartbreak? If he wants to propose to his new girlfriend, why hold a conference with you first? Seriously, it is over- stay out of whats going on in his life & do not allow him to feed you stories on his escapades. Move on, set boundaries, work on being happy alone or meeting someone who makes you happy.
PS: Linda, it this is a fake story, God punish you for wasting my time o
He never really loved you sweetie and thats why he is an EX .... shame on you J
Get a life and stop giving us fake stories please.
Yea,Thanks J, just thanks!!
Eeeyah...xowie...plx do anyone knw hw 2 cure stretch marks...plx help me out
So sad to hear I think that he never really love you, being with A man and having his kids doesn't really mean loVe to some men.its a pity u just have to move on with your life
Woman, I'm very sure this lady has introduced your husband to a new world of SEX and romance... Painful as it is, sex plays a major role in marriage.... Then again, I'm sure this lady is much younger than your ex, hence, the excitement. It is well.
Woman, I'm very sure this lady has introduced your husband to a new world of SEX and romance... Painful as it is, sex plays a major role in marriage.... Then again, I'm sure this lady is much younger than your ex, hence, the excitement. It is well.
Ouch! Thatmust hurt real bad. Never mind, u will find the one whose ribs u were made from. Life can be a bitch. 'hugs'
Ignore him focuse on ur children cos their ll give u d best abroad trip
Shit happen's u know,but all. D same just Try And forget him u are already divocred.try and move on for d sake of d kid's
is quite unfortunate,but he ve to be considering his kids...anyway,wat caused d divorce?cos we re still naive abt it
MY SISTER MARRIED IS A GAME.
MY SISTER MARRIAGE IS GAME IS DAYS
First of all, we love more than once in our life. Sorry for your pain but the truth is your ex is actually exorcising the demons of your marriage. In other words he is trying to make this work and he is putting his best effort. Two failed marriage is nothing to be proud of especially in a community as ours. My prayer is that you find someone who would sweep you off your feet. I just think you should talk to him and ask him the difference.
is quite unfortunate,but he ve to be considering his kids...anyway,wat caused d divorce?cos we re still naive abt it
All I can is continue prayin to God, he is der 4 u, he can make ur ex come back to u or better still send an angel inform of a man to u dat will love n care 4 u & ur kids more dan ur ex. Wit God all tins are possible, wit him romantic trips are small tin, cars re small tins. So always pray to him. Xoxo Mary
Eyyyaaa...I feel ur pain lady but u gotta dust ur pants & move on. If ur fat, go on a diet, den go shopping, get new sexy clothes, get a new hairdo, and go out dere. I trust u'll meet a man dt wld luv u more dan ur ex eva did. Damn him mehn!!! Anywayz, I wld luv 2 use ds media2 announce 2 d world dt I luv my boo so much. Hez d best* big smile*
All I can is continue prayin to God, he is der 4 u, he can make ur ex come back to u or better still send an angel inform of a man to u dat will love n care 4 u & ur kids more dan ur ex. Wit God all tins are possible, wit him romantic trips are small tin, cars re small tins. So always pray to him. Xoxo Mary
Mehn! this is sad, don't know what to say...i can imagine how u feel, it hurts, even though the marriage is over, it still hurts...men sha!
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Interesting story but is this for us or J? Well my advice is that you move on with your own life rather than hold on to straws. He was that kind and attentive all along because he was bored and lonely, now he's found someone he loves (like never before) and he has no use for that anymore tho the children don't deserve to suffer for that. I'm sure you're really hurt and angry, but if u mattered that much to him, when u guys were acting like besties he would have tried to get back together with you. Bottom line is please move on with your life.
I am amazed how most women think they can emulate Europeans and Americans in the way they go in and out of marriage. We have to understand that our values are different.
Back in the day women were submissive and allow their men to take care of things which every man wants to feel as the head head of the house . Women of this generation says they are capable of being the bread winner ,and want to act the man as head of the house,no man even a deaf will speak against it.
I am not saying women are marginalized but they have their roles as wives. Single ladies back in the day would go to school,find a job and marry to raise kids,as a result parents become proud of them irrespective of whether they have houses,range rover,expensive outfits etc. Women now put material things before family and marriage! I am not saying you arent complete without marriage.
If women think marriage and staying married doesn't validate them then I wonder if wordly things will validate them.
Some women chase shadows because they want to oppress their mates. Imagine a lady of 32 yrs saying she is not in a rush or she hasn't seen the right man,what do you mean by "I have nt met the right man?" so say they want to gather wealth first which pushes them to dating endlessly or even destroying people's relationships/homes.
There is no amount of money you will have as a woman that will validate you as compared to if you had a husband with kids.
Marriage doesn't stop your destiny,it doesn't make you fail in life. I read where they compared Agbani Derego with Oluchi! Who ever tried to compare both was blind.
Woman it's too late,instead of you to reconcile with ur husband ,you allowed pride to take away what belongs to you.
Can you women ever learn? After 4kids you had the mind to divorce? Hmmmm you made a mistake babe. People should not allow pride to destroy what they have suffered for or allow friends to decide for them. The western people you copy won't complain about what you are complaining about .
Don't let any lonely or bittered woman decieve u that marriage is not necessary or that divorce is normal,hell NO! If I was ur bro I would have asked u to stay in ur marriage haba after 4kids? Which normal man will genuinely commit himself to a woman with 4kids when there are single ladies out there looking for men whether single or married as long as na man and he get Dyck.
Every celebrated marriage today has had its crisis which doesn't totally define the marriage.
I know some lonely bittered women who feel men can't take care of them will disagree with me just to make sure there are more people in their shoes that way they aren't left alone .
Women if men can't validate you what will? You think your Bb ,Brazilian hair,cars,LV hand bags,watches,shoes,cars,houses,partying like a missing dog etc will?
Madam why did you divorce him when you know you are still in love with him? Going by your story,You are still much in love with your Ex. I hate divorce u should have worked more on your marriage if not for anything, for your kids. Instead you divorced him. Am not married but I know 40% of marriages in Nigeria have issues and am sure not all 40% are divorced, mind you his attitude towards you and ur kids will worsen as soon as he marries this girl, just get ready for that one too. Now high blood pressure will be your case
I just believe shits happens and also I will not try to defend the man bt I will say different strokes for the different folks...joe
Ds s sooo Sadhin,Men cn b so annoyinli wiked, Gosh; mother of ur kids, d woman u v bin wif for 13yrs.smtyms i jus wonder if truli dr s nytin called Love.well ol i knw s only Jesus cn gv true meanin of Love nd e did by dyin on d cross. Dear writer jus go to Jesus nd e wl fill evri pt of U nd mk u happi.
Awwwwww
Dis cud be demolarizing and hrtbreaking!!! I can only imagine dis woman's pain...she must be 2nd guessing herself nw.
Shit happens mehnn.
Awwww,I shed a tear after this......I feel so sorry 4 u...am so scared of getting married,4years of dating,with 4kids and nothing to show 4 it...not even 1 romantic trip,Ur ex is wicked....
Oh dear!!!
The girl has cooked for him. He's lost. Leave him and look after your kids.
So sad but I tink u shld start loving urself nd puting urself first, reduce ur intrest in his business nd occupy ur mind wit more intresting things, like travel,books,learning something new.you never can tell love would find you.
NOW CAN YOU SEEE WHY BEING 'FRIENDS' WITH EXES NEVER WORKS OUT
I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR ON THIS ISSUE
HE HAS OBVIOUSLY MOVED ON...YOU SHOULD DO SO TO
I DONYT SUPPORT DIVORCE, ESP WHEN KIDS ARE INVOLVED
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE , PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY MEN) WILL ALWAYS CHANGE.
PERSONALLY, I THINK THERE IS NOTHING YOU SHOULD DO, OR ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN DO.
SOMETIMES WE AS HUMAN BEINGS ADD 2 AND 2 TOGETHER EXPECTING THE ANSWER TO STILL BE 2....such is life
Hmmmmmm I feel Ūя̲̅ pain A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ dissapointment.thAt is vry bad of him,that means he neva loved U̶̲̥̅̊ @ all b4. don't worry with God on Ūя̲̅ side U̶̲̥̅̊ will find Ūя̲̅ beta half one day that wiLl love U̶̲̥̅̊ 4ever.try A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ move on
The Lord is your strenght my lady..
Oh dear!!!
Hmmmm... this story sounds very familiar. 'J'.
I know a guys whose name beings with J and has this same very story, but he doesn't read this blog, to the best of my knowledge, and his wife is abroad with their 4 kids... but technically they are not divorced.
But the Mercedes and the trips to Dubai and living with the chick is all the same... 'Love' I doubt it cos everyone knows she and her mother has used juju to clean his face...
Could it be the same person???
My dear 4get abt wat pple flaunt!.. 4get abt wat de are trying to make u believe!.. Concentrate on picking de remaining bits and pieces of ur life and move forward!.. My pple have an adage dt says.." Ogodo ga eru nwanyi ebe oruru ibeya".. Give it time and u will see is all make believe!
Wife/baby mama turned side chick
Men sha.... Hian. Move on dear
He is wicked! Some men can be so inconsiderate! Just take it easy dear!!
Awww! Sorry sweetie, I can imagine how devastated you are. The simple truth is men want to be in love just the way women want. The harsh reality is, if he wasn't really that into you, there's not much you can do to make him fall in love with you hence your broken marriage. You couldn't stir his passion no matter how hard you tried, honey don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with you as a person. It's just that you were never really "the one" for him. Once a man meets a woman that rouses the sleeping tiger in him, all hell breaks loose! He falls madly for her and can even break up a 10year relationship only to marry the new woman in less than 6months. That is why he is doing over and beyond what he did for you during your 13year-relationship/marriage, in spite of the children you both share. This is another reason being "friends" with a fomer lover can be tricky, most times one party gets hurt. I understand the need to remain cordial after a divorce because of the kids but I think you over-stepped. It appears deep down you still held on to the fantasy of your marriage while your ex has obviously moved on. It's sad. I pray God unites you with the bone of your bones then, you will experience what true love feels like and that love will mend your broken heart.*hugs*
Abey Let him be. He is in love and that was what was missing in your marriage
Awwww.....am so sorry dear,this is heartbreaking but you really must move on. I pray u find love and life treats you kind.
Hmmm, truth is probably she conected with him emotionally, when a man conects with a woman emotionaly hw wants to protect her,take care of her even destroy the for her. Maybe he dint ave dat wit u. But not to worry his ur ex already, tym for u to revamp, stop geting into his busines ur now ur own busines stop d friendly bullshit ur emotions are @ staken, start doing tins for urslef, learn somtyn new,bring out ur inner Diva.
My dear that love 4 u. Mayb he has found thatconnection he has been looking for. N who knows she might be doing things u never did. I dated a guy I never loved but stayed cus I didn't want 2 hurt him. Although I loved him cus he loved me. But that strong connection is impoortant. Another side to the story is that he might just be blinded by love
Woowz! Now that's somfin! Speechless........ Don diddy!
Hmmm, truth is probably she conected with him emotionally, when a man conects with a woman emotionaly he wants to protect her,take care of her even destroy the world for her. Maybe he dint ave dat wit u. But not to worry his ur ex already, tym for u to revamp, stop geting into his busines ur now ur own busines stop d friendly bullshit ur emotions are @ stake, start doing tins for urslef, learn somtyn new,bring out ur inner Diva.
Im sorry U feel this way B. The heart wants what it wants
Wait wait wait! He bought her a Merce-Gini! Pls sister can I have his number? I will advice you if you give me his number. 2 romantic trips in 8 months chei!
So touching...I feel like crying..we all find love in a hopeless place...probably he married you not cos of the love he had for you but he knew you'll be a good wife material that can take care of the home and the children..but you really need to move on..very soon you'll def find a man that will love ,cherish and adore you like never before..so sorry love..it is well..
Hmmm... Guess you should accept fate and take care of ur kids. Its sad.
Na wa ooooo, its hard to comment on this one. You shouldn't have gotten too close to him after the divorce. He should've let him go for good and he visits d children only. Just take things easy, u will meet a guy that will make u tell him d same tin. But that ur formal husband can talk ooooo, couldn't he have been abit diplomatic. Some MEN!!!!! They will just open their mouth gbam and air out nonsense....
All his saying is he never love you as he claim to from the onset, it all about infactuatiom from the beginging...... Take heart and move on dear!
Passive agressive much? Writing to a blog in hopes that your ex will read it is just not that way to go abt things. Just tell the man you're hurt. Your relationship will never be the same. He's obviously moved on and so should you.
My dear. If u notice, u both were close after the divorce. Free d separation why didn't u try to make it back d way it used to.as in be together notwithstanding the circumstances. But rather u were enjoying the friendship. During the aftermath divorce u didn't make him understand the important of having a family until u allow d devil complete his action. The only advice I have for you, is prayer and fasting. Bcos marriage is something the enemy don't want. U might say its d will of God but I totally disagree. Cos God thought for us is good and not evil but to give us n expected end. And it also says that d weapon of our warfare aint canal but spiritual able to pull down strong hold. My dear, go before ur kneel and pray. But to be frank with u, it seems all you care about wat material things not ur home.
That is men for you honey. He didnt take you on trips because you never stated you wanted to go on trips. If you want to be treated like a queen shou should have carried yourself as one. Im sure you were one of those overly submissive wife. Anyhow life goes on, you should be focused on how he is treating your children now not how he is in love with another woman. MOVE ON.
Wow...well that's sad. :/ That was very inconsiderate of him to say...
Some people just don't realize there are things you shouldn't say.
I'm really sorry about that.
Too bad..babes..I no hw u feel but atleast u got Ur children.
he never loved u na?
u said it for urself.hes in love.pls leave him alone.u have moved on,
abeg dont go and poison their food o!
go and find ur own better half.
Ur obviously still. In love wt him while he has moved on! Its true dat u will feel d pain cos of ur kids buh wht did u call him again? Ur ex?it means expired so move on and stop listening to his trash dat way u will forget him! And pls and pls don't judge him by not taking u to trips probably u guys were not rich wen u guys started and babies started coming ! So many aristors travel wt their chics and buys cars why their wives are house wives nd baby machines so dear he's ur ex don't forget that move on find happiness in ur kids! I feel ur pain
Get over it and move on with your life...you can't get jealous over your ex or make him your best friend! All you can do is make him take care of his kids!!
Too late now to cry over spilt milk!!!
Well, its easier to love girlfriend than a wife. I think. The kind of love I ve received from my bf and d few ex's, am sure no husband wil quantify thatt love in my marital life. These men literaLly worship me...lol.am even scared accepting their proposals cos I fear the whole love and care wil drop! Yea it always drops once ur a wifey!same ways guyz go out of their way to give their gfs head buh wil never do that to their wifeys....dats y I admire d likes of psquare n lola...d moment its termed marriage music don change...even if u popped out 10 kids for him
Very simple,u weren't jealous when u guys parted ways,he tells u all of doz just to make u feel d pain of divorce...expect more...JOSH
i feel your pain, there is Nufin like giving your all and receiving non. but u have no business been his frnd, you are just killing yourself. wish him well and move on, that's the way forward
Don't get confused woman...the guy has moved on and you need to find a man that will love you too and move on.... He use to love you, but now he love the new lady more than he use to love you...madam #moveON
Jay... Now you are in trouble.. Hehe
the truth - he never loved her for once!
Things in love hurts, there is no easy way to break someones heart. You are hurting, and it is hard to take but that's life. We grow up, life get complicated. The only person that can look after you is yourself.
The real Willow!
Lol. Sorry ma'am. He never loved you. I think you might wanna quit the 'excess' friendship and just be cordial because of the kids. This would help you move on and maybe find someone who loves you too. Sometimes, drop the kids with him and his girlfriend for the weekend. This will give you time to let your hair down and mingle (if you know what I mean). So sorry you just realised. That's the world we live in.
Jst let by-gones be by-gones.
U've already divorced him so dias no point comparing ur tym wit him & wot he does 4 his new found love..
It's obvious he didn't lov u dt much irrespective of how long it lasted.
Sweeties yrs dnt count, he has found his soul mate and dats why he feels dat way and anoda way 2 look at it is, he doesn't want d same problem he had wiff u 2 pop up wiff her, he s tryna be a betta man, accept it move on and get urself a man who wld luv u
omg!!! i feel very sorry for her tho,its very painful tho, dnt worry God dey,u will find a beter hubby. pele baby:*
Awww! Quite touchy!
Men can be quite insensitive and human nature is such that one can not predict how pple emotions work... You need to move on, u myt have done dt a lil bt u haven't done dt totally... U need to, its hard but u ve to and by the way "J" u put d "J" in Jerk...
Ms Valerie
Wow this ȋڪ one hard ohh
Wa gba K
This is such a very harsh feeling to find out someone you love will almost never be yours again, I think you should move on, pick the pieces of your life and move on, forgive his probable betrayal, I can sense that you feel hurt and dejected ,the good thing is that you have four children to your credit and a future only God knows, why should you let your past arrest your present and suffocate your future, you are heart broken and must heal before you find love again, otherwise pray for your ex, may be he will come back but that may be a lottery to have you ex coming back to you.
This is such a very harsh feeling to find out someone you love will almost never be yours again, I think you should move on, pick the pieces of your life and move on, forgive his probable betrayal, I can sense that you feel hurt and dejected ,the good thing is that you have four children to your credit and a future only God knows, why should you let your past arrest your present and suffocate your future, you are heart broken and must heal before you find love again, otherwise pray for your ex, may be he will come back but that may be a lottery to have you ex coming back to you.
Eyhaa! J ds 8months woman is usn juju on u! Go bk 2 ur wife ooo!
Wht would be would be.u neva knw wht is at work o.but sit,think nd understand where u gt it wrong,get up pad up urself and start again a better one tht is urs wuld cumm.stop counting d yrs.I waited for a man also tht messed up,here I am married today to a cute nd sweet guy also wit a cute son.
Eyah. Kai its painful sha. My dear its obvious u still love ur ex husband. Just move on cus he does not deserve you.
geskia,im trin not to curse him bcos im a christain bt before i cud remember d christain part,my mind already did!!!.what im amazed at id why add salt to injury by rubbing it in ur face???? four kids!!!! i have one and i know d hell i went thru not to mention four!!!!hmnnn.....(muttering unimaginable explextives)i comment my reserve literaly.
Well maybe u don't give it 2 him like the new girl
I CAN FEEL THE PAIN ,MY DEAR JUST ASK GOD TO GIVE THE HEART TO BEAR IT,DON'T DIE FOR HIM,I CAN SEE YOU STILL LOVE HIM BUT HE HAS MOVED ON SO YOU NEED TO ADJUST YOURSELF TOO AND MOVE ON,TRAIN YOUR KIDS,GOD WILL SURELY WIPE AWAY THE TEARS.
Pele ndo I know it must hurt
awwwah!....so sad!..i pray God will give you a man of your own, who will love you just the way you are...Amen!
Hmmmm....jazz tins!!!
Sorry
You threw it all away. By walking out on your marriage,you opened the door for another woman to come in. Its no use crying over spilt milk anymore. For the sake of your children, move on with your life!! As for the romantic trips abroad during an 8 month meeting with a new woman, you are not comparing like with like. When hes been married to her for 13 years(if it lasts that long),then come back to compare. A leopard cant ever change his spots.A man who will sacrifce his children for the love of another woman cant be worth much. Time will tell.
Girl move on with ur life having four kids for a man dat never loved u for 9yrs I know it hurts but a man is out there dat will love u and ur kids more than 9years wish him well and let it go. Stand striaght be d real mother for ur kids and ur own man will come ur way to love u more as a wife and be a good father to ur kids and with my dear prayer is always d key dat opens door of solution to all problems.
Hiaaaann as he's sayin the truth nko?he didn't lov u that much that's y it neva worked btwn u guys maybe.u sef go n love another person na,u think men care?beta don't waste ya time,the only thing u shuld b concernd abt is he shudnt stop caring for d kids...pls u shuld move on,cos its obvious he has...I feel ur pain sha...do u still love him?or u still feel somethin for him?its painful even if u don't hv feelings for him it will still pain.LOL
He did not love you.he saw you as a wife material n married you.Now he's in love for real
I think you need to start praying for your EX, at least for the sake of the children you guys have together. One of two things; he could really and genuinely love this other girl, or he has entered ONE CHANCE i.e. hands of a runs babe, who is all out to milk him dry and leave him hanging when there is nothing to milk again. With the kind or resources lavished on this so called babe in 8 months, hmnnn, something is sure wrong somewhere.
Eeyah, that's hurtful #sobs# really hurtful #wipes tears# .
Either u weren't doing things to him which this woman does ( sexually) or there's some fetish angle to d woman or u were not spiritually strong when married or maybe d man has just decided to let go totally n move on. Looks like u still love him n want him back. Do pray fervently to God for an intervention. Physically u r in a disadvantaged position as u guys r divorced already, but if its ur heart desire n Gods will, u go for it n lay everything at Gods feet. I am sure it's not very easy for u raising d kids alone. Truth is no marriage is perfect, a woman especially needs Gods grace cos on s long run she's more vulnerable n men find it easier to move on. I pray God helps you find inner peace n joy n guide you
Oh dear how sad..but I think its time to move on..some people are meant to be jst good friends but yours bore him 4kids..not to worry clean up and take care of yourself and Kids the man that will sweep u off your feet is on d way...and as for your ex wish him luck this might jst be it for him..try and remain friends cos of your wonderful kids...I really do feel your pain and I wish u luck.
its not like you're seeking advice. I mean, what can we say? The guy is gonna do what he wants and nothing will stop him.
It sucks but that's how men are, they're dogs.
But in the old fashion Nigerian way, she gave him love medicine to drink! LOL
well dear if i can call u that ur ex-hubby is not in love with this lady he is in love with freedom. if you want to know if he his truely in love with the new lady wait few years in to the marraige and let the kids start rolling in then you will know if he still truely in love.
Awwwww, what women eye dey see sha... Don't worry e still dey shark him now
Oh J! Pls answer her. Men can pretend sha.
Waow! I'm also in your shoes too! Ma ex boyfriends are always loving there new girlfriends better than me! Is something wrong with me? I'm worried
He obviously Never loved you ma dear...heartbreaking right?? Kai!!! Pelee oo!
I guess she got some bomb azz p...*in my snoop dogg voice*,dats life 4 u
woman what are you complaining about...you just said both of you were divorced....my dear thats the way life goes..he never loved anyone like he loved the woman hes with doesn't mean he never loved you at all...what you need to do is get back out there...get yourself a man to do right by you..yes u married the wrong one..now go find your own mr right and dnt dwell in the past....
Get a life and stop feeding us with fake stories.
if he cnt keep u she may not keep her too, regardless da endlee trips. Those kids culd reunite u back nd beta
SOrry o.
He is a Selfish Man... There is no 2ways about! I just have one question for him "will u be happy is one of ur kids, assuming u ve a daughter is treated the way u ve treated ur ex" Sometimes men are so blind , dat it takes all the strength and dignity not to physically attack them!
Anyway, the writer should go on with her life, I know its quite difficult to find another man with 4kids and after 13yrs with one, but trust me there is someone out there for u... Altho I hope ur selfish husband would grow up /open his eyes
Don't feel bad..just wish him well. If he claims to be lip smacking happy, just wish him the best. Trust me, it always ends up the same; Same script, different cast. All that leeching unto you was to make sure you didn't think of getting out to date. Just find something or someone that makes you happy too; which ever one comes first. Its about time! You deserve to be happy.
There you have it. Yo Lady, you and this man are obviously good friends. You said it yourself that the marriage ended because you BOTH could not make it work. How is it that he has found happiness and you are getting all salty?
Both of you could have put in effort to make your marriage work but there was probably so much pride. You can't technically be mad at him.
If you want him Back, PRAY!!!!
Prayer changes anything.
you admit that it didnt work out but now you're jealous of the other lady? bitches be tripping sha.
well he's prolly telling the truth.. the lady is prolly doing that something you never did that he had always longed for but never told you.
you wrote at the end that J ( I supposed your husband) occasionally reads this blog. If it is thru then this is or him, Never abandon your children let alone their mother If you must leave, do not let them feel it. An I must say telling her " you've never loved anyone as much.." is just totally uncool. keep things like that to yourself, nevertheless, I do not know your motives for that.
And for you my lady, do not complain so much about it. The man you once loved is long gone. Put yourself together, try to find love again if it is you want or just find something to be happy about.
And to other LIBers, check this story out..
http://www.gossipboyz.com/2013/01/revealed-how-k-solo-defrauded-osun.html
don't feel bad dear..your husband was jazzed..
It sucks i know.but you just have to get over the hurt and move on
Some men hav failed to love whom they marry..but gone to marry whom dey love or rather lust..
Men are like dat darling,after popping out 4 kids,he still hasn't loved anybody d way he loves dis one? Wat can I say,he wasn't just into u then.my advice honey... Get over it.As 4 u J,eat shit.
I don't usually comment on blogs bt ma'am ds ur story touched every bone in my body.lord ve mercy!!! N am scared alrdy :( chei! U can never know a man at all ohh!! Despite ur 13yrs
Such is life my dear
Hehehe. The girl must be a runs girl and might probably be using JUJU on him.
He is experriencing mid life crisis!!
In simple quote 'He felt nothing for you'.You can be with someone hundred years, but if the feeling of love is not there, then it is not.Sorry for the loss.
sori dear,the man could b under african remote control,what u hv to do is to pray 4 him at least for the sake of your children.
It is well! Are you sure its just been 8 months? anyway, pele dear. A woman's enemy is always a woman,knowingly or unknowingly,its definitely a woman... Be careful.:)that's my PM for this morning. Have a nice day.
What I've noticed as a man is that some women personality determines how deeply you can love her.
Well,9 years and four kids.that's a long time.but now ur eyes have been opened,and u have to thank your God that it wasn't more than that,don't dwell on it,yes it hurts and you are bound to be depressed and sad.but don't let the failed marriage take more than it has already taken from u.u deserve happiness,everybody does,he has found his and I hope he is doing the right thing.as for you,pls pls pls take your mind of him and his new woman,do only those things that will make you happy,you spendt 13 years wit the wrong man,accept that,and MOVE ON.the lord is your strength and he knows u deserve better and you will definately get better!
That's sad and I feel bad for you. I don't think you've really moved on from you ex and your "friendship" over the years has probably not helped you. If you weren't such good friends he wouldn't tell you these intimate feelings he has for his new lady.
Also, your ex is obviously insensitive to tell you things such as he's never loved anyone like the new lady. I'll advise you to distance yourself, not the children, from him. Stop seeing him as your friend. He's the father of your kids plain and simple. You don't need him to be using you as a friend to share his romantic escapades. Your situation is exactly the reason why I don't believe in being chummy with exes nd esp not one you were married to and have kids with! It's a recipe for more heartbreak! You can be cordial for the sake of your kids without being BFFs.
You didn't say if you're in a relationship or have been in one since the divorce. I'm sure it can't be easy dating with 4kids but I'd say get out there, go out be social, take classes, find a new hobby or interest that will keep you occupied. Who knows, you just might meet someone. I wish you well.
when a man falls in love he falls with everything. The fact that he stayed with you that long doesn't mean he loved u guess Dats why he was able to build a strong bond with u after ur divorce. Just tlk to him so he can atleast see the kids more often.
I knw u feel so hurt right now;my dear,pls take heart.move on & don't sadden urself by thinking abt all he does or says.God will make u happy
U have allowed another man (woman) to reap the fruit of your labour just because of your impatience. May God not allow me to loose what I have laboured for when the time of reward comes.
Kill d bitch!!!!
That means that d both of u are not meant for each other nd married out of passion not love.
Look at it this way: maybe he has learned from his mistakes with you and now knows how to overlook things. As a result, his second relationship seems sweeter to him.
Also, it seems you don't want him to move on. It was bound to happen na. That's why being friends with an ex is a no-no for me. Life happens dear.
Pick a chair and watch!!!! Dis his love sure as an expiry date... It's adrenaline
Interesting story! Doesn't move me one bit because I strongly believe you got what you deserve.
This is what pride does to people, you have one last card and should play it right if you are smart.
You gotta talk to that man and get him back if you still love him. Trust me, he will do more than he is doing for his new catch.
You girls need to learn that it is so effing easy to have you man do virtually everything you want! Simply play the mugu, no pride, no contest..try play the head and you will lose it all. It is a given!
All the best,
from JJ
sister nothing gud comz easy. Is either u change ur attitude towards men or u'll stay unmarried. Do u kw hw we men feel abt women, we feel we should not marry cus women hav so deride on our intelligent even circumscribe our discretion. I always shed tears wen a fellow woman talk abt d ungodly n indecency of gals dat we shud b careful n prayerful
So true.funny enough,the new chic may not be treating him as good.its jus how love works.when you meet someone you love,you don't care what you give up and how much you spend.truth be told,if he had loved her that way,he would have gotten back with her as they have been friends for a while and comfortable......
Take heart dear,some friendships need not be extended into a relationship.ypou and this guy were jus very dear friends.and for lack of options,you opted to just be together.you realized on time and divorced and your mind was still tied to him.most times,it is true that we find love just once in a lifetime.hes found his own.and he loves u enough as a friend to pour out his heart to you concerning this woman.just cheer up,cos you will live with it for a long time as he is father to your kids.may God heal you.amen
Everything na luck I guess that was your own luck and that's d other lady's luck too #that'slifeforyou
Gbam! God bless you dear
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