Someone sent me an email asking me to discuss this here. Apparently in quite a number of hotels in Nigeria, single girls are denied service. You can't just walk in, sit at the bar and order a drink. You will be turned down and probably turned out. There seems to be an internal policy that women must be accompanied by men to be served at its bar, restaurant or just sitting at the hotel lobby. In fact in some hotels, they won't let a single girl through the lobby without male companion except she's able to convince staff she's a guest of someone staying at the hotel. Half the time, it's quite embarrassing for the women.
The thing is, most of these hotels believe that single ladies come to their hotel to hustle men. Why else would you chose a hotel's bar, restaurant, or lobby to drink, eat or relax, they always say.
Some lady who was discriminated against is thinking of taking legal action against a hotel. Is she right to do this? I'm thinking why bother, really? But what's up with hotels not letting unaccompanied ladies into their premises? Do they have a point?
Please share your thoughts on this.
59 comments:
I think it stupid and narrow minded. i have been through this crap once at a hote in Abuja. i was a cabin crew and we had to stay at Rockview and the security men at the gate stopped the cab i was in with a fellow female crew and wanted to know who we wanted to see!
i understand that a lot of females loitterto hustle, still gives them the right to disrespect hardworking females. i have been to hotels in other countries and no one asked me stupid questions, only narrow minded, pretentious moraliste naija hotels.
Linda really the woman that brought this to your notice is right.It's for this exact reason i'm always skeptical about being seen in or around a hotel.People always think your there to do a man and not to relax or hangout with your friends.I lost a relationship of 5yrs 'cos my beau's pal told him they saw me in a hotel,meanwhile i was at work at the time.Isn't that lame.
Something definitely has to be done about this perception of "Women & the Hotels".
Na runs girls cause am cos na there dem dey catch aristos! especially transcorp hilton! loitering up and down and cutting you eye! Mscheewww
Of course they have a point, the hotels i mean.
It is like that stale gist of a girl who goes clubbing alone and tells me she is not hustling.I beg frre me! Just tell me that you think i can't afford your rates.
You leave your house and go to a 4 star hotel to just have a drink or relax??
Hello!! try another gist.
You can even attempt to convince me if you come with tow or three of your friends but not alone.
No one should try bringing that old record about gender equality.It is plain old hustling.nothing bad about it.
Meanwhile Linda, Oli spoke to Amber on air this morning o!
Come and see Oli with his tobacco infested toungue licking a.ss on air.
West African indeed.
At least Oli has removed small shame from those RUNWAY organisers.
Talking of hustling,that Amber girl is trying o!see bottom power.like play like play she don become actress o!
Who said flesh does not sell?
Any hotel that does this should be prepared for civil litigation. Do men of today not act as escorts or prostitutes too. Whilst I can understand the reasons for that, that is why Managers of hotels as well as staff would or should have been trained when it comes to people coming in and out of hotel...this is common practice in big hotels. Next time you are stopped, just take a name off their badge,with the date and time and tell them they would be hearing from your lawyers.
yeah they re somehow right except that not all girls come to hotel to do hustling..apart from thre hardworking ones who go to relax in group..i know afriend who would leave home and go to 5 stars hotels to just sit down ordered drinks until she can catch a big fish..[.big men]so this ladies has spoilt things for other good ones
this is so stupid,i wonder why nigerian do their things diferently so it is now a crime for single girls to walk into a hotel to chill,pls she should sue them jo,gosh i am just knowing about this for d first time,i have not being to niaja for like 4yrs,so if dicide to chill in a hotel i will be turned back na wah hissssssssss
l bet they will let a single oyibo woman in o.9ja lol
This is the picture of Sheraton! When did they start that?
There shouldn’t be any form of stereotyping.
Single ladies or ladies who are alone?
What of married women (rings on and all) who cheat and go to hotels alone to meet their lovers. Are they discriminated against too?
Since they’ve started, they should turn their searchlights on gigolos and gays!!
What of single men/gigolos who go to hotels to meet their cougars? Or closeted (and married) gay guys who use hotels to meet their partners?
From time immemorial, hotels are a meeting point for sex, relaxation, business meetings, eating, lodging and whatever else but banning women of all shapes and sizes is pure discrimination and should be frowned upon.
Extremely crass!!
I have been embarrassed at the Hilton and Sheraton in Abuja. I caused a scene on both occasions and made the security apologize. Its hard when they can't differentiate between professionals and prostitutes. It's just that Nigeria is a useless country. I hope the lady who is taking this matter to court gets justice. Really.
I made a comment earlier.Guess which it is?
Aall this talk of litigation is senseless.
Hello!! the hotel is a private enterprise.They can choose who they want to come in or not.Just like they will disallow a guy who looks like he comes in to arrange 419 runs witht their white clients (just an example).The problem is that 95% of ladies who go to hotels alone go their for hustling.the 5% should blame the other 955 not the hotel.I am still trying to get my head around what a single (not marital status) is doing in a htel if she is not checking into a room or seeing someone who is lodging there?How can you just go to a hotel to relax?
It is not stupid and narrow minded.it is called protecting your turf.This days hustling no get uniform again o!you can't blame the hotel.even bible carrying ankle length skirt wearing ladies dey hustle.How you wan take serperate them?
Sue ko,sue ni!!
Yes Linda, this is in fact the case in some hotels in Abuja and that is because they are overrun with prostitutes etc. They even still from expartriates so......
erhm @ Mamuje, the Hilton?!! sorry, but please how where you dressed as I know the Hilton would find it difficult to enforce this since they have so many businesses operating there independent of the hotel
i agree with Ch5335ng
I was lodged at Hardley Apartments some time last yaer while i was in Lagos on an official assignment.
I was on my way out of the hotel to meet my friend who was outside the gate when the security stopped me and asked if "he" was still in the room. i was like,who??? and he repeated the question. His colleague who must have seen me when i checked in alone now stepped up and told the "ignoramus" of a security man that i was the guest. He apologised half- heartedly and walked away.
Kanu Nwankwo should try o cause not all guests would justshake their heads and walk away the way i did.
Linda I'm glad you brought this issue to light - i happen to be a single lady of 27 who lives in the UK- every xmas i come home and I had arranged to meet my old school friends in a hotel on the island in lagos just to chat and catch up on life- I happened to be on time and forgot that nigerians are never on time - i got a lift from my cousins to the hotel and was waiting at the lobby - I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED IN ALL MY LIFE - the way the manager spoke to me was totally unacceptable and APPALLING - I was so upset my eyes watered - I work very very hard at least 6 days a week in IT - to afford nice things - i have earned my money -i like to dress well - not slutty but well - for myself - it makes me happy - the guy assumed I was some sort of ashewo or runs girl - it is not right to tar everyone with the same brush - but the stupid guys who were coming to hit on me with no shame did not get embarrassed or walked out of the premises - anyways this is part of the long list of reasons why as much as i love nigeria it becomes very hard to live there mehhnn anyways I held my head up high checked my purse still had my money and waka comot - their ignorance their loss - stupid man - i took solace in the fact that i can probably pay the mofo's salary three times over with just the money i had in my purse LOL
They look at your face. i can bet you an ajebutta looking chics get in and out. I go to a lot of hotel resturants and bars, nobody harrases me. And that's the simple truth. There are though a lot of women who go to bars to hustle men, and i am sure for the male patrons it can get irritating with a woman pushing up on you.
to the poster that said people go to hotels to hustle, its not true. some folks go cause they want to get out of the house. Sometimes i go out with my boyfriend to sit in a hotel cafe for a coffee and a quick chat. When i lived overseas, i went to hotels alone for lunch and dinner sometimes. for me its not a big deal. I think its all in how you carry yourself. If i come to the bar and order a drink with confidence, i dear u to bounce me. Rubbish and bullshit.
WTF realllllly? LMAO! Only in Nigeria. Smdh! That is bad customers service! I do NOT care, if girls go there to hustle for men, they have NO right whatsoever to assume that EVERY single woman who walks into an hotel is a runz babe and then deny them service cuz of that... TOTALLY WRONG! The reason is illogical, but anyway it is Nigeria...smh.
They have a point...runs has ruined naija finish
like someone mentioned, a hotel is a private firm and thus retain d ryt 2 chose who dey let in and out of dia premises. Mayb u guys shud divert ur scathing attacks on d the actual prostitutes who cause thoes problems 4 d womenfolk. 4 me,wat d hoteliers do are inline wif public policy and good conscience...equity does not apply in dis case.
like someone mentioned, a hotel is a private firm and thus retain d ryt 2 chose who dey let in and out of dia premises. Mayb u guys shud divert ur scathing attacks on d the actual prostitutes who cause thoes problems 4 d womenfolk. 4 me,wat d hoteliers do are inline wif public policy and good conscience...equity does not apply in dis case.
The bad eggs caused it. But still hotels have to find a way around it without this gender & marital profiling.
And for those talking about how what is a single woman doing at the bar for relaxation, it goes beyond that - even as a paying guest, someone was asked if "he" was still in the room.
And forget ajebutta look o.
some people here r missing the point totally we have established the fact that yes not every single woman who walks in to a hotel is a prostitute so the staff need to treat EVERYONE with curtsey and respect e.g. go up to the lady excuse me please would you kindly leave? not shouting or behaving rudely tht way if she is not a prostitute she can keep her dignity - anyway if the women dont have market there they wont be coming would they kmt nigeria and their double standards
Once again the patrichial nature of our society takes over. For all of you who agree to this, i hope you, your wife,sister or mother gets harrassed. Why should a whole gender be discriminated against because of some few 'bad' ones. How would you feel if somebody discriminated against you because of your skin color, race, tribe etc etc?
Some Naija people are so full of shit!Are single men walked out of a hotel if they come alone?...It is such a gender biased society and God knows, i cannot live there.The 3 weeks i go in december is enough. we have some crazy ass, dumb retrogressive human beings in that Country
People go to hotels for a million and 1 reasons aside from prostitution, they are just primitive in their thoughts and lack any business sense. This is wrong on so many levels. Never been to a hotel in nigeria, but I hope if i go to visit i will not be treated this way, that will really be disappointing.
As embarrassing as the situation is you can't rule out the fact that girls flock around hotel to hustle Aristo runs,away with sentiments, if you dress prim and proper nobody will harass you, and given all relaxation spots that abound how come its an hotel you chose to have drink, it doesn't add up,this is Nigeria.
Linda I'm surprised and disappointed that you would make this statement why would a single woman choose a bar to go and relax, well for one, I live and study in UK and so many females friends of mine go to bar after school to relax and wine down. Me myself I enjoy it immensely just to sit with couple of my girlfriends, drink wine and chat shit......This is freaking new century so nigerians should get over themselves and their archaic way of thinking rubbish
We r truly blessed in Nigeria that's y EVERYTHING we do is DIFFERENT from the rest
at first, I thought this was a joke; but apparently, this is REAL!! WHAT IN HELL IS THIS?????? Are we serious???????
So because I am a woman, my society has defined me as a dependent human being that needs a man to be complete and to accessorize her, so that she could be relevant in my society.
This boils down to the point that women are still being looked down on as a man's wallet. I'm sorry..but this is 100% ignorant. Honestly, the solution to this stupid and shallow problem is BEYOND education. The system is messed up!
DAMN! DAMN!! DAMN!!!! UNBELIEVABLE
we are not talking about women everywhere we are talkingabout the desperate BLACKBERRY BABES Ashawos hanging in hotels - so what one bad apple fcuks it up for every INDEPENDENT woman - whatever
I agreee with the hotel 100%
I wouldnt want Ashawos loittering in my hotel.
They are not hard to tell - I doubt if you are dressed very well and carry your self very well - they will turn you away. Most of these bitches cant even speak english - they so transparent.
I will kick them out too - I will even kick them out of my salon
Razz heffas
They have no point at all! Their act of pure discrimination to women would only hold fair when they extend that same gesture to single men.
And since when did it become anyone's business if a woman wanted to drink in hotel bar..what the hec is a bar for in the first place.
.
The thing is, most of these hotels believe that single ladies come to their hotel to hustle men." *clapping* because that's the bane and core of every woman's existence....hypocrites, even if a woman hustles men...it takes two to tango right? Men too are hustling the women!
@ Anonymous 11:48am.... That's is just silly talk. You mean to tell me that its ok to walk girls outa hotels simply becos dey are not accompanied by men? Its people like you dat needs to change d way u think...its really sad.
Meanwhile, Linda....not just Hotels oo even bars and clubs...Swe Bar for example. Since when did it bcome a crime to have a drink or two alone or wiv friends?
Have you noticed its only Abuja, people are mentioned this happens? And it will because one) Abuja has a predominantly Hausa/muslim population where unaccompanied women walking around in hotels are frowned upon. Even in their markets, there are predominantly only men (selling)! Two) The level of prostutution in that town is appalling! its so bad that my brother said how he was eating in a regular restaurant and a girl came and stood by his table, making eyes... obviously soliciting!! he just hissed and told her he wasnt interested! kai! Na those politicians wey spoil that town with their money wey no get head! When a senator get N1 million naira a day what do you expect? No be to carry woman? long hissssss!
This is 9ja unfortunately enough of the girls/women at the hotel lobby are there to hustle..a right thinking woman on proper/legitimate business would be tucked up in her bedroom..with her laptop..sorry its just the way it is..who remembers the AY show @Eko Hotel..didn't u see what was going down..??
The bizzare thing is the Runs girls settle the Security anyway...so kini big deal...
Its not only in abuja oh...it's happened to me in Lagos and PH as well. Its nothing to do with how you dress at all rather like other posters have noted; its previous experience with prostitutes/runs girls that have made it this way.
In my case, i always explain my case properly and clearly and i am let in.
For those who think its only hustlers that go to bar/hotel alone...you may have been living in a cave all these years!
lolz.i'm a woman and its a pity this is happening. But truth is, first of all, all these security people in Naija can overdo somethings. I know it's their jobs but they just throw the baby with the bathwater when they are given instructions. No courtesy whatsoever when dealing with people. They don't know who will pay their salary tomorrow. Secondly,they may have had issues with prostitutes stealing expatriates and customers money and all that and may have lost customers cos of this. When these customers are patronizing the ashewos, they don't think twice but once money gets missing or other valuables, then they blame the hotel. Finally, nowadays it is rare to discriminate between ashewo and normal people too as ashewo too get class now o...To solve the problem, instead of going to hotels, its better to go to places which have just bars or lounges or whatever without lodging. At least they won't turn you back there. shekina
just plain stupid! why is it their business what someone goes to their hotel to do if they're bringing business? I swear, some Nigerians never mind their own damn business.
it happens here in abuja alot. i think d lady should sue them. i mean, i can decide to have lunch at transcorp or have a drink and av some quite time to myself. it is my right to choose to do what so ever i want and its very wrong for any one to infringe on someone's right. as long as i am paying with my money i can hang out either all by myself or with female friends. is it against the law? people who think odawise are just so backward, some comments i see here supporting this is really unreasonable and uncivilized!
i hate all this talk of i go out for drinks in hotel alone in the UK and US.
We are talking of naija not UK.
the level of hustling in entertainment spots here is nothing compared to the UK.I have stayed in hotels in both so i can compare.stop blaming the hotel authorities,blame the over 90% of girls who do runs in these places.
it is not only Abuja,lagos is probably worse.
What do you think those hotels behind TFC on Allen are for?
you talk about drinking in hotels in the UK,the issue is that their is a drinking culture there.here,there is a Runs culture and drinking just happens to be a by product.
@Ade Cool, seems you're experienced in the matter...
Anony 9.46PM..gbam!!..u read my mind..word for word..
Anony 10:20PM
I beg o!!..it's what my eyes saw o in Lag/Abuja!!...can't even chat to a girl in 9ja this days..it's all 'bout business..
quite true..very difficult differentiating btw Runs gals and normal gals..what this my eyes saw at Audio(V.I) during Easter all the covert manoeuvres..some of this girls are Uni gals so they developed some level of sophistication too...
it is just like Nigerian men to be daft.wat makes them think dat every single girl that comes to a hotel wants to hit on customers?for real?if they are being so sanctimonious why then dont they urge their male patrons to keep their zippers on and stop bringing teenagers old enough to be their grandchildren to have sex with?after all, the aristos girls wouldnt be in biz if not for the irresponsible old men that patronize them.for all u guys deceiving urselves that single girls go to hotels for men ,purleeeeeeeeease!u are not that hot. not even ur money will get u to second base!
@anonymous 9.46 I couldn't agree with u more. @jennietobbie its nigerian women that make men look down on them. Its really embarrassing wen most of ur mates think they are better than u bcos of the number of magas they have and wat they can buy. Even rich girls are pushed into it. Its not a few bad eggs o majority of naija girls reason like this. I don't know wat the best action is but its nt fair to just embarrass women its just wrong. I should be entitled to a beautiful dinner with my friends or a day at the poolside without the BS. I think she shd sue!
Naija can be a messed up place sometimes and this experience, one can encounter when one meets ignorant people stationed at the right place and time to piss you off and make you wish you could knock some sense into them. Gosh, sometimes I wish I had super powers lol.On a lighter mood though,the internet helps bring down people and institutions these days, so I recommend that both Aristos and 'normal good women' should make d news of any discrimination by any hotel in naija go viral vis fb, bb, twitter etc; women boycott d hotel and lets see why the men really go there. It will also show the number of men who go there with just their wives/ just to hang out. A.S.A the hotel starts loosing business,we'll see who will be making d apologies and adjustments.
You know, on a more serious note, the women 'aristos' are not to blaame. Blame it on a country where 1 or roughly 2% of the population control 95% of the country's wealth and the other 5% is left for a little above 100 million people to scramble on.Some societies, even in Africa, give their young people array of choices but in naija, one just has two; get rich or die trying 'ANYHOW'. And the Rich peeps r complaining? Aint seen nothing yet! bunch of irredeemable potbellied toads!
I am sooo glad someone is finally speaking up on this issue.
This past winter hols in naija got all sorts of WTFs from me.
The assumption in Nigeria is that once a girl is in a hotel, she has come to work. And I'm sure y'all know d type of work I am talking about.
Lmaooooo this post just brought back some memories.
Naija = drama 24,7
looool
*sigh*
I leave in Abuja and runs chics have totally invaded the hotels.am not saying it's ok that hoteliers harass people especially for hardworking females,wat I have learnt is to be nicely put together and have my I.d on me so nobody embarrasses me.
I hate to admit it....but, I dont blame the hotels.
Whenever I go to Abuja, I am always amazed by how aggressive 'run babes and asewos' can be.
However, it is all down to good client relationship management.
The hotels can hand out a leaflet (explaining that they have 'unsavoury' people disturbing their guests) & they can then give guests some form of ID to show when they leave/ enter the premises.
Anyone who says the hotel is right is downright foolish! OK so prostitutes go there to hustle but is it every woman that goes there wld be there for that reason. Why do I have to state my reasons for being in a hotel 'clearly and properly' to a security guard. the simple logic that if single men are not turned back then single women should not be turned back. men are armed robbers, prostitutes, etc. so single men can be turned back too and if they don't do that, then there's no reason to turn back single women.
The only reason this happens is because Nigeria is full of self-righteous, sanctimonious hypocrites. Nigerians!! Maybe someday, a change will come, a positive change
Well these hotels did not wake up overnight and decide to take such measure. When something is getting out of hand what do you expect. The so called runs girls will leave the so called runs that brought them and starts to steal. There have been incidences where they made away with costumers wallet, wristwatches and laptops.
The hotel management is not unaware of the extent of their atrocities and they do know that those who actually come to hang out in the bars of such big hotels are runs babes. The securities themselves knows the prostitutes and helps in arranging them for lodgers. In a situation where you have more than 50 desperate runs Girls loitering around and making advances on their guests the management will not take it hence they may instruct their securities not to allow a single who cant explain her purpose there.
Women are not Men when it comes to drinking mannerism. My Sister or my Wife can not tell me that She wants to go and drink at Eko hotels and suits all by herself . What brings responsible Women to big hotels maybe business, appointment, lodging etc and not drinks.
Look guys! Truth be told! why lounge at a hotel bar if u r not booked into a room, there r tonnes of spots to hang out in Lagos (not speaking of any other city)!
I lived in jand for 12yrs and never once went to hotels for random drinks!! Business, events yes! Not random hanging!!
My 2 cents!! Don't get me wrong, I don't condone stupid unnecessary discriminationeither
SERIOUSLY!! i was at a hotel once and my friend came to visit, the securities refused to allow her park in the premises says the spots are allocated for guest alone. dem hear am dat day... mschewww
Hotel operation is a partnership of highly successful independent hotel professionals whose sole objective is to increase your hotel profits and asset values.
LMAO!the world is full of evil,the innocent ones are blamed for crimes they didn't commit.
i don't blame the hotels,but i do not support the discrimination either.but seriously why would i go to a hotel by myself to chill,i know how nigerians think,even if you are not in the hotel to hustle, that impression is still created about you, that you are there to catch a guy,and i personally detest embarrassment.its just sad, that this mentality is wrong,i once met a man who told me that an average nigerian girl wants money at all cost,i can only thank GOD that i didn"t school in nigeria,because the stories i hear r alarming,may God help us all.
1st of all I would like to point out that it doesn't just happen in hotels. it also happens in bars and night clubs. I once went to meet up a bunch of peeps at a bar, my brother and male cousin inclusive and the security man wouldn't let me in because I came alone. the Lawyer in me instantly rose to the fore and I spoke plenty english about womens' rights and all but the guy no gree oh! in the end I had to call my brother to come out and talk to him before I was let in. I refused to go in without giving him a piece of my mind and getting an apology sha.
Another time my friends and I were gona go dancing at a club and they weren't allowing single girls in. 'luckily' for us we saw some guys we knew from uni coming in at d same time and we just hooked up with them in order to get in.
I don't know much about hotels sha... but I know that the general perception is that women who hang out alone in hotel bars are hustlers. so you can imagine my reaction when a date was running late because of traffic and wanted me to wait for him at federal palace bar? I just said no thank you, I'll wait in the car or reception. I don't like insult.
it is sad, but I live in a highly hypocritical and judgmental country and so in order to live my life without headaches I've learnt to accept sme sme such as this.
However, I know that in very upscale hotels in Lagos, if you're waiting for someone or whatever at the hotel lobby, they would only come ask you politely if you need something after you've sat down for while. I strongly believe that if you look respectable (and yes you can look decent even in bum shorts)they wouldn't embarrass you since such hotels usually have well trained staff.
security men at bars, night clubs and average/low class hotels don't know the difference between asewo, aristo gal and 'regular' gal. if u like come looking classy and all, na for your pocket. on that note, i pity all these women saying stuff like "if you dress nice and classy they wont turn you out" who sigh? your turn is coming. remember that those who live in glass houses don't throw stones.
i was at the Hilton sometime in 2009, came fro a biz function and decided to have a drink at the lounge before going to my room bear in mind i was wearing a skirt suit, carrying my laptop bag.
I was harassed by a security guy, i flashed him y keys and he apologized. i created as mini scene sha.
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