Dear LIB readers: I went through my husband's phone and now I'm devastated
From a female LIB reader
I went through my husband's phone yesterday because of my recent suspicions that he's cheating on me but what I saw on the phone was far worse than what I was expecting to find there. It has practically ruined my life. My husband told his cousin via bb chat that he had fallen out of love with me a long time ago, that the only reason he's still in the marriage was because of our three kids. We've been married for eight years and I've done everything I know how to be a good wife and this is what I get? It would have been less painful if he was cheating. I don't know what to do. I even called in sick to work this morning because I've not been able to stop crying. Should I confront him? Should I release him by giving him a divorce? I love this man to death and I can't believe he stopped loving me along the way. What did I do? He always said I was a good wife, when did I stop being that? He has been so distant lately that I thought he was seeing another woman. My husband has ruined my life.
It is well.take heart .if u believe in God now Is d time to get on ur knees nd pray.then u need to work on urself1. Soul searching.2. Get a make over,new hair do new wardrobe ,start exercising .make him want u all ver agin.i call it FAITH and WORKS. U dnt want confront him men hate confrontation. God is ur strength .
Have no fear for this is normal. every married couple go through this period in their marriage life. Now, it could be as a result of (a) he's really cheating (b) he's not putting his best in the marriage (c) he married you because of the physical attributes (c) could bee a spiritual thing . See here, (counselling is important here FROM A TRUE CHRISTAIN BELIEVER) your husband must be made to SEE YOU now for who you really are to him and accept the fact that he is married to you and only you till death does him part from you. He must understand that he is your completing half. Let him know that you know about what he feels about you (with the help of church pastor and family) Take heart dearie, find a pastor/counsellor and pray ( I believe this is your trying moment. Take heart, your husband is yours and he's going nowhere.
Oh boy!!!! This is §ǿ not GƠ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡D,pls confront him,§ǿ U̶̲̥̅̊ guys can find a way out Oº°˚˚°ºh,maybe U̶̲̥̅̊ stopped doing some of the things that made him fell in ƪ♥√ع with U̶̲̥̅̊ in D̶̲̥̅̊ ist place..its a GƠ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡D thing you've known now,becos it would have been worst if he starts mistreating U̶̲̥̅̊ Α̲̅πϑ u start thniking maybe U̶̲̥̅̊ commited an unknown crime ...§ǿ Sorry can't imagine what I'll do if i were in U̶̲̥̅̊я shoes shaaa...it really hurts.
First of all, dont you know that "what you dont know wont hurt you?". You opened his phone to know if your husband is cheating on you and you would have be happy if that was the result abi? Instead, you got the shock of your life. Sadly, it was worse. The bright side is, at least now you know your stand. WHat u gonna do about it?
I think most women fail to realize that, men stop loving, we get tired easily, its not just being a good wife that counts several it goes far beyond that, other things count, dont push it ladies, u will always find that right man for you, It pains me when i see two people in love, you can never know a man too well, you only know the part he wants you to know, try hard not to push pass that limit, when u start pushing we stop loving, we get tired, don't be to quick to opening up all to a guy once we know everything and there's nothing left to talk about we get bored and u seem to think we dont care and we dont listen we really do care but repetition isn't just our thing. I can go on and on about this. For a honest truth about a man you can talk to me via this email .... nicejob872@yahoo.com
It is really sad dear, i am speechless and i do not know what advice is appropriate for you. But i think you should first ask GOD for help and after that confront your husband. Both of you should sit down and discuss honestly about this issue. May be you both can still sort things out. You both should fight for your marriage. May GOD almighty be with you, may HE protect your union in JESUS's name. One love and peace!!!!!!
Getting to know is the best thing that happened to you...now you need to use that edge to enter him and ask him what would you do that could ever make him stop loving you or get tired of the marriage.....Sit him down and let him realise that you love him with all that you are and try to bring him back home.....if he fell out of love with you, he's either seeing someone else or putting his plans into place....act fast...a stitch in time saves nine !
take heart dear it happens,he will surely fall bck in luv with you.he is just goin tru a phase.i fall out of love with mi hubby sometimes and after a while,i begin to notice and remember what made me fall in love with him in the first place and i fall back in love with him.that doesn't mean am having an affair but stress is too much and i feel he is not being helpful a times.am sure mi hubby falls out too !!! we all think is greener on the other side only shit gets serious lol
Oh sorry, one of the most diificult part of life to get the right advice. But all in all I believe marriage is a union between men and God, so talk to Him. Then get to work, you have a duty to keep your home, work up yourself to make him love u again. Improve ur wardrope, cooking,emotions and develop interests in what he likes most. God help you o.
U have to ask him were nd wen u went wrong,some men or pple kwn hw to keep pple in mind nd dis kills watever dey have for u.dnt let him go cos u dnt kwn wat u meet were u runin to.it can b solve my sis nd wit God tins wil wk out again.all d best
you have every right to know what went wrong in the journey of your marriage.you have to confront him and tell him about your recent findings.u will never know what went wrong if u just sit there and assume tings.u r a team and when the other party is nt responding u hve got to begin asking.well if gets verbally abusive or get physical,i guess he has someone he respects n listens to,do contact them.wateva hapens take ur mind off divorce bt again dserve to be happy.goodluck
quite disheartening if you ask me, but wait a minute, these things happen in marriages sometimes its due to one fault of ours or the other, sometimes too, its spiritual,but whatever it may be i will advice you not to allow the devil to take advantage of the situation and pray seriously to GOD that HE will turn things around for your favour, he is your husband and the good LORD will bring back the love and all will be well again i assure you, please keep loving him. and you will laugh last, you will see.:)
Hello, I know how difficult what you are going through is but relax a lil, crying isnt going to help, i also know you cant forget what you read but you can make it better, he aslo hasnt confronted you with this details so it shows he still has a tiny lil love left for you, rem the things that makes him happy try to do them plus remember the heart of the kings is in God's hands and he directs the affairs, speak to God, cry out to God...put your faith to test, when you think of what you read talk to God about it. I wish you all the best.
As for me,don't let him knw you went tru his fone.just cook him his favorite nd say ur mind after d meal.tel him what u notice of him lately nd hear his part.ask him wot his wrong,one tin dt must not be absent is COMMUNICATION.I feel u both lack dat,I wish u all d best,after den take ur decision.
My dear... Happened to me too. Went thru my ex hubby 's phone.. What I saw ruined everything. We are divorced now cause not only did he give his mistress my number to insult me. He also told her he wasn't married that I was forcing myself on him.. Let's just say its all in the past now.. I ve moved on and remarring easter 2013m but mine is differnt cause I don't have kids with him. Put ur relationship in prayers and watch God manifest in ur life! U will be fine. I cired for months when mine happened. But who knew God had something better in stock 4 me. I wish u the very best. Take care
Have no fear for this is normal. every married couple goes through this period in their marriage life. Now, it could be as a result of (a) he's really cheating (b) he's not putting his best in the marriage (c) he married you because of the physical attributes (c) could be a spiritual thing . See here, (counselling is important here FROM A TRUE CHRISTAIN BELIEVER) your husband must be made to SEE YOU now for who you really are to him and accept the fact that he is married to you and only you till death does him part from you. He must understand that he is your completing half. Let him know that you know about what he feels about you (with the help of church pastor and family) Take heart dearie, find a pastor/counsellor and pray ( I believe this is your trying moment. Take heart, your husband is yours and he's going nowhere.
Eh ya.... It's very common in marriages, u dont have to let him go. He can have fall in love with u again. Be petaint, ride the tough period. Let him miss u for a bit, that could spark the love again or do what u used to do when u 1st met. And pray to God for direction....... ASJ
i can't say i feel your pain because i am not there. i have question for you, when was the last time you were his friend? what alot of fail to know is that, we have to be a friend to our spouse. you are busy being his wife and never bothering to be his friend. you forgot what brought you guys together in the first place. don't get me wrong the is nothing wrong in being his wife and mother of your kids. your husband should be your best friend and vis vasa. from your write up, COMMUNICATION between you too died along time ago. real COMMUNICATION not something about your kids and neighbour. talk to him but not in a confrontational way. that way you will understand what went wrong. better still take a vacation that way you will not be interrupted by kids and family affair. JUST MY OPINION
Falling out of love by husbands happen in most marriages and has happened in mine but i overcame it.what you need to do is try and remember the things you used to do before the kids came , when it was all rosy, start doing them again and pray also. Its nothing new, don't get a divorce. i would only encourage divorce if he hits you and God forbid that happen.
Just keep praying for him...i dont know when the conversation via bb hearld...but one thing is certain if you do the right thing in no time the truth will be revealed..another thing is, he said it does not mean he meant it...circumstance surrounding their conversation might result to that...pls act like you did not see it...he will continue to be in it until he loves you again if he meant it....ambassador
It happens, that you are a good wife, you keep d home, take good care of the kids,cook &clean and offer sex when asked does not necessarily mean you are a good lover. Bring the fun back to your relationship. Pretend you have not seen the chat , flirt with your husband, dress to kill (if you have been tying Buba and iro), go on trousers, skirts and gowns/dresses; be proactive and initiate the sex. Sing, do crazy stuff, don't mop around or cry; it will make him sit up and might even wonder if you have an admirer. It is important to note that you should not take for granted because he says you are a good wife then you let your guard down. Be also a good lover Even men who love their wives once in a while feel like they get out of their marriage. He might not be in total love with but surely, he still loves you; of course except if he was forced to marry you in the first place.
Hmmmmmmmm! Pele.... jez tell him what you saw on his phone and you guys should seriously talk it out. Its nothing new, at times you both might be busy with your career or kids and end up just sleeping on the same bed with all connection lost. Try all you can to revive your relationship with your hussy. Bye
Choi. Nke a li kwa m ONU. Nne m di be oh ö ije uwa. My advise is, don't give him a divorce and don't act like you know anything. Just try and heal, dress more appealing stay a little longer at the office just act like you can't be bothered at all and do all this while still doing ur wifely duties and most of all look for verses in the bible that speak on restoration and fast and pray. Watch porn if you must to revamp your straphing skills(biko it's optional before some holinwejes will have my head). My sister once told me marriage is not for the faint hearted. However, try not to seek his face too much or become clingy. Check if you hv stepped down on ur beauty regimen since you got married. Start dieting if you must. Do all you can without making him know you know about that text message. It should work and if it doesn't then i'm sorry to say, he is not worthy of you.
It is well my dear, PLS TALK TO GOD PERSONALLY YES I MEAN PERSONALLY, and pull yourself together be strong for your children I know its difficult but try. It is only when you are alive and healthy that your hope to be in love is sure. Please be strong
i have only been married for 4 years but I know marriage is hard wirk It takes God's grace.we get consumed with work,chores and different thing that sometimes it feels so mundane.I try to always keep communication line open.maje extra effort to be sexy send ur kids to grandparents for a weekend.go away and rekindle the love.trust me.he still feels sth.but before u can do this.u have to ask him honestly how he feels.trust me with God on your side,You can overcome.
At this juncture, u have to be very careful not to make a hasty decision that might later ruin your entire life. though it's very painful, but allow yourself to be depressed for some time, and equally take your time to get over it.....after which you gradually take your time to find out the whole truth from him before you finally decide on the next step to take. Hmmmmmm.... marriage.......never a child's play!!!
Wow so sad but since you already know his mind, u might as well confront him about it cos u might av really put him off dat u dint know u did. Really sorry abt ur situation
They say what you don't know can't hurt you! your insecurity got you to where you are now. if a man has fallen out of love that is the end. just separate and do not file for a divorce just for the sake of your 3 kids.
Hi Lady ,this happened to a friend of mine too.she was devastated but she had an open talk with her husband and he finally opened up.he was holding something that happened just before they got married and right after they got married to heart.he never forgave her for the offence she never knew she committed.so its probably something he's holding against u.prayerfully talk to him and hold on to ur man.all thhe best.
Madam, you are on your own. @ dis time n age, u r still worrying n calling off work cos of a man. I always say and will always maintain dat no man is worth a drop of my tear. Life is fun. Thank God u ve 3 kids, rebrand yourself and see if he's gonna go back in love with you or not.
So painful....Really dont understand what is happening to marriages these days. I pray God give me a woman i wil 4ever love and wil assist me to live up to my expected marriage life.
Nope,he hasn't ruined ur life.The only thing that can ruin ur life is death ok?Be strong.Confront him and ask him what d problem is...Pray harder..he may change.Divorce is not an option,esp in dis part of d world.
Waoh! this is so pathetic, but take it to God in prayer cos with Him everything is possible. Fast and pray, i repeat, fast and pray. if not for anything, but at least for the future of the kids, bcos children from broken homes suffers later on in the future. Pls, fast and pray on your own. U dont need to meet with any pastor for any vision. Your heart is your temple and our God is ever faithful. FAST AND PRAY. God will put smiles in your face soonest.
Kpele dear. There is this movie: Mr&Mrs. Its a Nollywood production staring that Nse lady and Joseph somebody...anyways try and watch it.It is interesting, funny and most of all it has some strong lessons you could use to revive your marriage. If you have had 3 kids with this man, he probably got bored and started taking you for granted. The fire that brought you two together is still there somewhere, just find a way to activate it. Divorce is not an option. AND please dont let him know you searched his phone until the fire is kindled even if its a little bit. Marriage should be an adventure people and No! im not talking about the bedroom. Generally couples should keep the spark alive.
Ntoorrr to u!who send u go read?u neva hear of let sleeping dogs lie?women,there's nothing prayer can't solve in a marriage..if u are suspicious of ur spouse,instead of going thru his pockets,phones,etc,calling up females to warn them to stay off ur hubbies n all the many other silly things you do to 'get back ur man or keep him tied to u',expend that energy on ur KNEES!!!that's the place of battle that settles all and melts even the hardest of hearts...its not by ur doing CID or wanting to act Jack Bauer.
If this is a true story then my sincere advise to you is to get down on your knees and pray.
God is love and only Him can give the type of love that lasts forever. His love never fails. Cry to Him and ask Him to show you what to do. He is a God that answers prayers and if you cry to Him sincerely, He will listen and answer.
Don't depend on anything or anyone else. God has all the answers you need. Don't be despair. Trust in God and He will give you the peace you need. Ask Him to show you how to love your husband more and treat your husband with love, respect and humility. Don't fight him, don't confront him. Right now, focus on God healing you and showing you what to do. The fact that he has not left the marriage means something. Other men in his situation have left notwithstanding the number of children they have. God can fix this. Allow God to fix you and your marriage and you will share your testimony in no time.
But if you haven't given your life to Jesus. Then its the first thing you want to do. I don't know what religion you practice or if you even believe in God. But I can assure you that He is the answer because when my marriage was about to break up even with two children, God fixed it and got us back together. He is willing to do it for you too. I will pray along with you. God bless you.
1 are you fat? 2 drop your kids at ur parent for 2,months, lose weight and fuck the hell out of your husband
Focus on ur relationship, stop nagging, get involved in what he likes, listen to things he has to say, if he still isn't in love then leave him as long as he pays for the kids schools fees and other expenses, good bye! Don't allow yourself be sad!
first check yourself, get at least two of ur friends women and a man that knows u very well ask them whether there is any changing in ur character if there is not confront him not with anger but with wisdom if things does not work out get that his cousin and have a close discussion with, if things doesn't regularize report the matter to ur God in prayer, sometime ur husband action might not be ordinary
I will advise that you don't confront your husband with your findings, because if you do, it can either collapse or reshape the marriage. What I will advise is that, try to create more intimate relationship with him, and when you see the situation is getting better you can then ask him whether he love you or not. From his response you will know how to amend the situation. Alternatively,you can consult a marriage counselor to guide you. I wish you all the best.
calm down my dear, crying wont solve anything. u need to get to the root of the problem and the best way to do that is to speak to him. find out what has changed and why he dsnt love u anymore and then u guys can work on fixing things. Dont be confrontational about it, approach him with love and its usually best not to have these conversations at home. mayb you can plan a dinner date for both of u. good luck sweety *hugs*
Madam, the sincere truth is that men are polygamous in nature, and he might have his reasons why he doesnt love you anymore, my sincere advise is to call his attention in an amicable manner, ask him why the sudden change besides he might have his reasons , try and put a corrective measures if he opens up to you.
Secondly, most women dont take care of themselves simply because they are married, if he has complain of anything about you, size, weight, neatness, food etc, try and put them into consideration, then pray to God for his change.. Do not consider a divource because of the children, show him more love and attention, he will surely come back.
Do not check or monitor his phone again, give him free hand and be faithful to him. People will not tell you this but it has worked for me . Am 19 years in marriage and my husband and i are best of friends
Well, maybe that's d problem, u are just too good and obedient, there is no spark, u don't shake ur husband, u are just too good. Men get bored easily and am sure that's ur offence. To get ur man back I think u need to get his attn, be sturborn don't go out of ur way to please him.
This is the saddest relationship question ive ever heard. As someone who has never been married I really don't know what to say... The only thing I can offer is prayers. Pray and leave it to God. Also, you might want to consider changing your attitude, the way you dress, the way you smell, etc. I know your supposed to be loved for who you are but if he no longer loves you then you might have to adjust who you are a bit. Good luck sha, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dearest, there isn’t a particular set of steps or instant remedy to this and it is really sad that you had to find out about this and in this way. Probably not on the top of the list of what you want to hear but as a Christian, this is the time to table this marriage of yours to God. You've come so far and given so much and I would not advice that you give him a divorce. It wouldn't be easy and you may not see an instant result but you have to work through God's grace and on your knees to Him because this is the only way you can achieve a successful result. Nevertheless, this may sound cliché but 'communication' is key in any relationship. I don’t think you should confront him for now because it probably wouldn't go the way you want. Ask God to touch his heart, especially as you love a lot and you need to get through to him. Try to get his honest opinion on the success of the marriage so far, in this sense try and talk to him about your marriage, not necessarily bring up your discovery. While you may have given it your all, it is also important that you assess yourselves and discuss it, for it is through this medium that you become aware of shortcomings that you probably didn’t think of in that way. Get honest opinions from each other! I don't know if as a family you have a cordial relationship with your pastor, or even if you are Christians. If you are, it is definitely something to talk to your pastor about. Be careful not to talk about this to just any and everybody because not everyone is calm enough to do the right thing or give the right advice in such situation, and you do not want to make it any worse for everyone by acting rashly. Since it is already on LIB, I suggest that take your time and go through the comments, weighing the suggestions you get properly. Most importantly, you need to be strong especially for your children and be meticulous with the decisions you take. Marriage isn't perfect and is one of those journeys in life that requires patience, tolerance and most especially love. We as humans are very incapable on our own accord to achieve this, but we can through God's grace. So my dear, I’ll end this long speech of mine by telling you not to give up and it is well with you and your marriage by God’s grace. Please trust God and cheer up.
I read my hubby's mail 2 and i was devastated. Smetimes i regret but its gd i knw who he is now. He has been cheating on me wit a lady in he's office, who wrks directly under him. We have been married for jst a yr. I still cry wen i think bout it. To make it worse she even got pregnant nd had an abortion mre than once. Can u imagine. He has always had d p/wrd to my phnes nd mail but that can never happen again. Right now i no onger love him again i feel so betrayed. If not for my family nd little baby i wld ve left him. He still wrks wit d lady nd i cant stop imaginin dem. I jst hae him sooo much now I desrve my happiness nd so do u
Your husband didn't ruin ur life.. I technically you not being able to trust him ruined ur life.. So now the only sensible thing to do is to talk to him and either go talk to a marriage counselor and try to work on him falling for u again or u let him lose
My dear I have been there, I have been with my husband for 7 years now, 4years into the marriage I fell out of love, but we were still together like just ordinary friends,I later realized that with the friendship we had we could build back our love life again.so,one day I call him and sat him down, asked him to tell me the things he doesn't like anymore about me,and I also told mine.I also asked him what are the things he would love to see in his present day woman which he told him, then I realized that I had neglected a lot of things. So I surprised him by paying for an hotel for the weekend for just the both of us and while we were there we reflected on all the things that made us fall in love and got marriage and that was the magic. So my dear if u still love him find a way to make it work and STOP GOING VIA YOUR MANS PHONE u go just kill yourself for nothing.
there is nufin worse than pity love if you love him as much as you claim you do just let him go. yes he might be the love of your life you might not find another like him, but what's the point of two pple being miserable, i respect the fact that he stayed becos of the children. and yes men especially Nigerian men it never counts whether your the perfect wife or not. some times they just dont care. Pray about it and then talk to him about it. sometimes pple grow out of love and the next thing that happens is that you become friends and in this our modern day if that doesnt work there is always the option of divorce. do what makes you happy
How painful! I can't imagine how hurt you would feel now. I don't know if you believe in Jesus; if you don't I would first ask you to surrender to Him right away. There isn't a better time to do this.
If you already believe in Jesus, and have accepted Him as your Lord and Saviour, then, my dear friend, there's no brokenness God cannot mend; no injury Jehovah can't heal. Take your marital situation to God in prayer and ask for His divine help. Then boldly speak (not confront) with your husband - its better you let it all out than to keep crying and slowly die in silence. Believe me, it may not be as bad as you think.
Please talk things over with him AFTER YOUR PRAYERS. Only he (i.e. your husband) can tell you how he feels - assumption won't. Listen to what he tells you and find out what amends can be made between the two of you.
I always believe that one key ingredient to a successful marriage is PROPER COMMUNICATION between the man and his wife. There's no substitute for that. When proper communication is lacking in a marriage, that marriage becomes prone to any devastating effect. I would have expected your husband to talk things over with you, as the man of the house, not confiding in a third party on his marital issues. That wasn't right.
I also believe if you trust Jesus to repair the brokenness in your marriage, He would do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you could ever ask, or think or imagine.
And one more important thing: Try to stop worrying - it won't solve anything but rather it would eventually affect your health which would add to your concerns. I know its easier said than done but please try to replace your thoughts of worry, at this moment, with thoughts of God's faithfulness and unconditional love. Jesus cares!
I feel your pain madam, your story is very touching. I suggest you don't confront him. Keep it to yourself and pretend not to know about it. Marriage is for better for worse, you need pray hard, confide in God there's 'nothing' He cannot do. Then hit the gym, lose some weight and tone up. While on that,go for shopping, get a decent young lady that will accompany you to buy some nice decent clothing and some new lingerie. Change your hair style every 2-3wks(try fixing ponytail & braids)& use less makeup. Take good care of yourself and try making him jealous sometimes(don't over do it tho). Do all these and you will thank me later. Remember, prayer is the key. Don't worry he will come around, he probably left the message so you would see it. His looking for an easy way out, don't mind him ok? God is your strength.
Don't confront him, confrontation may worsen the case for you. I will suggest you consult God genuinely, and commit the man to God as well. God will surely do wonder in the matter. If you confront the man you may end up blaming yourself, because he will tell you what you don't want to hear. I sensed the man is hooked-up by those husband snatchers through diabolical means. Don't try divorce, it will affect your children both now and in the future. It is only God that can help you out in this matter. Let share your testimony on this soon!
my FIRST QUESTION 4 U IS ,Y MUST U GO THROUGH UR HUBBY'S FONE.WELL, D DEED HAS BEEN DONE NOW,MY ONLY ADVICE 4 U IS 2 PRAY 2 God AND TALK 2 UR HUBBY...BUH IF HE STIL INSIST HE DOESNT LOVE U ANYMORE.MY DEAR,LEAVE D MARRIAGE IN GUD FAITH AND WITH UR CHILDREN NI OOOO*EYES ROLLING*Khulthy
My honest opinion is take a long walk while you can, while you are still young (that's if you are cos you didn't state your age) if you still want to have a happy life otherwise stay back and be subjected to a life of misery. There is no solution short of a miracle for a man who has fallen out of love with his wife, for all you know he has walked on with another woman.
you ant to know when you stopped being a good wife? He says it when you stopped loving him and started nagging. when you put on so much weight that sex became wack. when was the last time you made love to him? He says its when you made work your priority and when you decided to suspect him of cheating. You ruined your own marriage instead of building it. Finally that your new found friend that he told you that is a bad influence and you fought with him over. Madam, you can still fix it but time is running out fast. Start by talking with him and not nagging and complaining. PS He read this and he is angry like hell. so better know what to tell him tonite.
You should take a bit of time to calm down. Then try to win him back if you really want that. it may not be immediate but it will happen. Afterall he fell in love with you before.
we men are that way sometimes, after series of sex, we dont find anything interesting in the woman anymore especially the one u see everyday. But bear in mind that divorce is not the solution, think about ur kids, u dont want them growing up in a broken home trust me cus i coe from one. u were not meant to see what u saw on his phone i suggest u continue living like nothing happened as long as he keeps treating u well. if things start falling apart u both should see a marriage counsellor.
Your Guardian Angel led you. It's a good thing you read it before he surprises you with a divorce or a cheating sister sometime in the future. You should be brave and confront him, but don't be rude. Men have alot of ego. Tell him to list your faults and promise to do better if what he lists is a fault. Discuss with him if what he lists isn't a fault and ask how you and he can improve on the relationship. Above all, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. VEEERY IMPORTANT OOOO!!
Too bad for u. Keep holding on u need not confront him, continue to be d good wife u are am sure is looking for a small fault of urs to throw u out but don't give him that room. Am sure with time he will have a change of heart. Wish u luck. Dis has happened to me before am a guy.
its quite a painful discovery, however i advise u stay in ur marriage, see it as a convenant relationship beyond the love emotion and pray for your hubby. i don't think u shd confront him, some times dis things happen in the best of marriage, its like seasons which will eventually come and go. since ur hubby believes u to be a gud wife, continue to be same,he will definitely come out of this season. trust me, it happents to a lot of persons, just that in your case u found out. it is well with you dear. oo
Do not be upset.... it's a general trend most men do not love their wives... they only married due to societal pressure.... the best thing to do is to ignore it and move on as if you did not see anything; what will be will be... sebi he gives u money and takes care of his obligations, so why are u worried?
No my darling he hasn't ruined u,he jst gave u hope..your mistake was going thru his fone by every dissapointment is a blessing in disguise why not give him d space which he deserves(it's painful I know) but free him like a bird if he comes back to you that means he is yours and if he doesn't my dear please move on and face your kids don't hold on to him it will only kill u slowly.he will be surprised at what u will bcome without him..confront him and be ready to move on with your kids and job..Men are jst funny he wants to explore so let him cos he will come back begging and when he does please have him do an HIV test before u accept him back that is if u are still in love with him..I wish u well.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY!! Just catch him on a good day and tell him everything. Ask him why he has fallen out of love with you and what you can do to restore that love. If he is willing to stay in a loveless marriage, he might be willing to actually try falling in love with you again if you do all that he wants you to do. Think back to when y'all started dating and do all the things you guys used to do. Maybe along the way, you paid more attention to your kids and he did not like that.
Chei ya...sorry Eya..but I beileve the most important thing couples should do is communicate with each other..Talk to him..know where you went wrong and then try to make amends..you can tell him your grievances and he will tell you his..then both of you should go to God in prayer and seek his help..Your husband may feel he has fallen out of love with you but it may be something you do unknowingly that gets to push him away..Talk to him do all you can to make him open up to you and tell you what the problem is..You shouldn't have gone through his phone first but you should have tried talking to him when you saw he wAs becoming distant..I pray God helps you both in your marriage
Wow! Such a painful and hurting story. I'm short of any advice,but thinking deeply I feel u shd talk to him. These things happen sometimes,I mean u shd let him knw u saw his chat. Atleast that's an evidence. Pls stay strong and talk to God.
Hello lady no matter wat ur man does outside he will still come back 2his wife dnt let dat disturb u be a loving n caring woman n a gud housewife pray always 4him d both of u shld hang out wit d children dnt Eva leave ur matrimonial home
I feel your pain so dearly, the truth is that marriage in the sense of the word is a decision to commit permanently to someone you love for the rest of your life. I am proud of you and how you have kept your dignity so far, you have not cheated on your husband or done anything bad, God will honour your faithfulness to him, on the other hand marriage is sometimes an experiment to test the quality of our integrity and also to test the sincerity and honesty of our commitment. All of us are vulnerable and prone to hurt because we are human but God has a way of helping us through our frailties and vulnerabilities if we would just trust him. I personally don't know why womankind assume they are literally loved when their spouses/sex-partners make love to them ,personally speaking men are likely to have sex than make love because of their high testosterone levels while women make love to connect emotionally and bond effectively. I also think men have their emotions and thoughts in different parts of their brain while women have their thoughts and emotions together. I think your husband may still love you but lust and the devil of sin is playing with his mind hence he can't tell you to your face because you will force him to confront the demons in his lower body region. On one side he may have considered leaving you but on the other side something tells him he will regret hence he has not made the decision to leave just yet. The truth is that when a woman takes off her clothes for the man she claims to love, she means that in view of her bodily insecurities there is someone who cares and appreciates the way she is, it also means that she will feel desirable and wonderful enough to satisfy him and he is good enough to feed her passion positively. On the other hand infidelity does break the woman because she would feel robbed of what she believes is her love monopoly; in addition she would feel she is not good enough to satisfy her man. The whole story of yours almost wants to make me cry for you but only God can help you here .The only way out of this painful situation is to pray, the bible does say that a man’s spirit would sustain him in sickness, I believe that with reference to your case your spirit connected to God would see you through your emotional hurt and pain. The prayer of a righteous woman availed much. Because your mind is stayed on God, he shall keep you in perfect peace. God can still turn your husband’s heart around and bring a permanent end to his ugly, wicked and cold-hearted infidelity that appears to be eating the goodness of his mind and soul. I believe you are one in a million and you will help others like this in the future, God bless you and keep from all hurt, evil, harm and danger. The present from me to you is Psalms 139_Verse13-18
You see why they say ignorance is bliss? Anyway dear, i feel for you. Dont give him a divorce, dont even raise the issue...just pray abt it, God will heal your home and ur marriage soon..
It's sad at what you are going through presently. Don't know why it is easy for men to fall out of love than us (women). My dear, they say the best gift you can give your kids is a good marriage, so i advice you turn to God and pray that he returns back to you. Buh, when you realize he has stopped putting his family first and your life is in danger by staying in that relationship, then i beg you let him go. Your life and dat of the kids are far more important to toil with. Wish you the best in whatever decision you take and i know that God will guide you in all of this.
As much as I am itching to say 'who sent u message' I sincerly feel your pain! This is deep. My advise is wake up in the morning, look beautiful, go to work, do things and create things that make you happy, above all let him know you saw the chat without a tear drop from your eyes and walk away with a smile. It may seem like the hardest thing, but men CANNOT handle what they dish out. Prayer, Happiness and ur huge smile is your only weapon.
Confront him, buh with love... So u would know wat he wants den u 2 could see a PROFESSIONAL marriage consellor. Am not of d opinion u walk out like that! U are still grieving, u could regret d decision! 4get d 'lady ego' tin...win his luv back...Success
Get ur swag bk,hit d gym take kia of ur sef,change ur style sense,spice up ur marriage quit nagging.listen 2 him more.men love foolish women #word.dnt confront him pretend u never saw his chat.wish u luck
Finally any successful relationship should include effective communication that works very well and effective conflict resolution,A man needs to learn how to communicate with his feeling positively , so in addition to my previous comment work on this possibility and help you and your husband be better communicators and conflict resolvers, God bless you.
Who send u message go him fone? U don c wetin ur eye find go nw mtchewww. Anyway jus put him in prayer n start doing dose tins dat attracted him 2 u, am sure must hav told u dat and try n kip urself in shape
So sad! Women go through a lot and as well, do a lot to keep their men happy but Men... Men... Men... Let her NEVER confront her husband or say what she read from his phone. She should quietly engage him in a subtle discussion to find out why he doesn't love her like before. Let her know what the man really wants from her. But honestly, if the man has lost his interest in the wife for no reason, the love can NOT be retrieved. In that case, she should TRY and see how to go on with her life without him.
Confront him so that u wil hear what he says before taking any action. Maybe he is lying u never can tell. or hav u offend him in any way ? Unknowly ? If not than there is a reason to it .
Ur story touches my heart, pls don't change ur ways,continue being a good wife and don't start telling people about it bcos they can't help.thank God he is not beating u and he is still taking care of u,am sure all will be well one day.continue praying our God liveth. Ademola
My dear just take it easy, such is life we see and hear diff things everyday,wat a frd told me is don't ever remove the worse dat can happen in anytin relating to humans.wipe Ūя̲̅ tears and make sure you discuss it wit him,he can't just fall out of love just like dat note someone else out dere is taking the beta part of him cos if nt is feelings towards you must definately remain. I know wat I went thru in mine. My own told me to the face he doesn't want the marriage anymore and he meant his words.but I thank God for everytin today,I thot dat was the end but God told me that's the begining of myself.that man can fail but he can neva fail me, am a strong and beta woman in christ jesus. Don't hide wat you saw and make sure you discuss it,nt in a harsh tone but in a way that your points are made known,also prepare your mind for the worse or the best.
Y did u go through his phone? U brought this feeling on yourself rite now...y now???! From experience if you r suspicious your man is cheating or has changed his feelings for you then 101% he has..... What you need to do is not look for proof rather behave in a way that u will be respected in all his shenanigans and my dear focus your emotions mainly on your God, your children and your job .......those will less likely disappoint
"It would have been less painful if he was cheating". This is absurd.
Alot of women will walk out from a cheating man,while this woman will prefer that her husband cheats on her rather than him say "i have fallen out of love with my wife".
Since her hasn't told her to her face that he's no longer in love with her,she should try and find out why her man has lost interest and then seek for ways to get her marriage back on track.
snooping behind ur partner iz not good tho buh its good u now knw Wots on ground, i'll advise u confront him wit d facts in a cool way(try and contain ur anger) dont Tell him u went thru his phone cos it will lead to another tin, try n knw where u failed..v u become so much of a wife dat u are no longer a friend or companion. Its good to knw how to manage d house buh it shouldn't be at the expense of being ur husband's friend... But if d problem is that he's a dog that cant keep his dick at a place den 4 ur sake leave cos staying there will hurt you d more,,its not d end of d world
I don't know what your name is but please note that marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. If a man can't put on a smile on ur face another is looking for who to make smile. Just pray but if its not working pls move on.I experienced same with two kids and I have moved on with the kids solely carrying their responsibilities.
U thought he is seeing anoda woman, nd u think ur thought is wrong? Well, dont b too fast by divorcing him. Y dont u confront him nd sort out tinz whr necessary since u said u love him?
Now, this is kinda wrong I don't think this lady shld seek d advice of judgemental Nigerians..... Pls why not go to yur parents or in- laws or better still a marriage counselor..... This is jst too private n personal. MyOpinion
i advice you confront him, to hear his own side, to know what you ve done wrong and why the sudden change. their is nothing God cannot do plead, beg and pray more for the devil is against every marriage, so you need prayers and show him more love. good luck.
Hello dear, I will say its actually a blessing that you went thru his fone and saw what u saw bcos u now have the power to start working on it. U dont have to confront him, all u need to do is revamp urself, ask urself what are the things you did that made him fall in love with u and what do u think made him fall out of love with u. If possible talk to that cousin of he's and find out exactly in what context your hubby has fallen out of love with u. Dont worry, dont let him go, try and fight and pit in some fervernt prayers and if after you've tried it doesnt still work, talk to his people, but dont let him go. Your in my prayers. :)
I don't think u should divorce him just yet . Family going thru same . Your husband is ur husband dear. Start all over . An sure he fell in love with you for a reason at the beginning rekindle That stop crying and make ur marriage work. Pele dear.
I don't think u should divorce him just yet . Family going thru same . Your husband is ur husband dear. Start all over . An sure he fell in love with you for a reason at the beginning rekindle That stop crying and make ur marriage work. Pele dear.
divorce ke..my dear this is the time to go to God in prayer...dnt give room for ur marriage to collapse.search ur self well in anyway you r lacking as a wife improve..good luck to you.
Don't walk out if ur marriage love. Your husband is your husband . Work on it not easy but u have to give it a try. He fell in live with u for some reasons at the beginning so he still can . Rekindle that heat . It's been 8yrs go back to b new , show him yu still got that you he was 1nce in love with. And pray dear. Every marriage has its downslope. If u come out of it gracefully he would adore u even more.
PRAY, go on your knees and fight for your man in the spiritual and leave Linda out of it. This is a battle you can't fight on your own, divorce is not an option, especially when adultery was not involved, he hasn't ruined your life, heis just giving you an opportunity to fight for him, except you gan no love am again.
Communicate! I'm not in favour of looking at other people's phones. Someone wanted you to see those messages so you can change. Someone doesn't want your marriage to end so you need to work on yourself and change. It's either you confront him but he may hate you for that or keep quiet, pray and do a 360 degrees change for the better.
Please do not release him from the marriage. The only thing I can think of is having a make over - change your hairstyle, spruce up your wardrobe with sexy dresses, work at being fit, try to do things differently to see if he will notice. Perhaps he is bored. Most importantly go on your kneels and pray if you are the praying kind. You can learn to do that if you are not.
Dere is alwys two sides to a story... If ur husband were to post his feelings here, we wud fil bad to. Dnt mke him luk horrible.. Go n speak wt ur manb
This is a topic i believe alot of women can relate to. Especially nowadays where people fall in love with the idea of a wedding/marriage rather than the actual union itself. My advice to you is this - PRAY. As a wife u are the backbone/support system that connects the the body(ur husband and kids) to the HEAD (God). My dear, u have been put in the position of a warrior to fight any weapon fashioned against u all. Divorce should not be an option!!! After 8 yrs??? Begin fighting for ur marriage with fasting and prayer. Also pls my NIGERIAN women biko u ppl 2 dey slack! Y wont ur husband be talking about falling out of love wen u ppl just get so relaxed. Once u've found husband and had a few kids some ppl sexual life just DIES! CHAI! Pls that thing is a very essential aspect to keeping any marriage 2getha. Pls go and meet ur friends and tell them to teach u new/latest moves that will surprise him. LOL But in all seriousness, U comin to bed at nite looking 20 yrs older than ur actual age is understandably a complpete turn off. Get used to the idea of doing special things for your husband every now and then to show he is still ur MAN. Dont turn urself to his mother PLS. Wat is he supposed to do if u dress like his mom, cook like his mom and even begin to talk like her...dude no go dream to even come near u for fear of thunderstrike from GOD! LoL
Dis is a lesson 4 women to stop snooping around der husband's fone...bt at d same time I ll advice d woman to talk to d man so dey can work it out bt if it doesn't work dey sud just divorce n nt grow to hate eachoda
Firstly,u av made a mistake by checkin thru his fone bt since he hasnt told u himself dt he doesn't luv u nymore or he is no more interested in d marriage.u shld leave him n continue being d good wife u are n kp praying.
madam dont confront him.try to make it work again.be the woman u were when he met u.kpere!
IF U CONFRONT HIM THE REAL TRUTH WILL COME OUT.THIS TIME U WONT GO TO WORK FOR ONE MONTH AND UR HEART WILL NOT ONLY BE BROKEN BUT SHATTERED!!!
if u try all u can and it doesnt work,discuss with him about making ur marriage work as man and wife.if he is not interested,its up to u to stay or not to.we cant tell u to leave ur marital home.
Loads of women go thru this phrase sometimes we women are stuck bn the wife and mother to his kids we forget how to be his girlfriend and mistress. Truth be told he cld hv had any other woman he wntd but he picked u so u hv to remind him why he picked u ova the other options. U need to date ur husband all ova again be the girlfriend u once use to be, do those things u use to do when it was just two of u. Like my mother always says "A woman has to be a mother who cooks, A MISTRESS IN THE BEDROOM and a wife in public. Notice the emphasis on mistress. U need to figure out how to make ur husband fall in love with u all ova again. Gud luck
Don't give him a divorce while he has not asked for one. Your marriage needs work, talk to him but don't let him know u looked thru his phone. Ask him why he's been so distant. You marriage has a good chance of surviving and there is a reason why your husband is still staying in the marriage beyond the children. We know men who have abandoned their children and walked out on their marriage. Don't bring up divorce, pray for God's wisdom and peace within your soul so that the holy spirit will guide you on what to say. It is well. Also search within yourself and see what areas u can make amend to better work on your marriage sometimes we blame the other party a little too much when we ourselves have a lot to deal with. God bless and restore u marriage.
B4 u start listening to stupid "a man will always fall out of love, be independent, steal his money, make ur money" advice that do not address d problem, I advice that u have a talk with ur husband. We do not know d kinds of arguments u are having. There must be some tins he tried calling ur attention to time and again dat u did not take seriously. Possibly ur marriage is filled with unhealthy arguments but u do nt notice cause he lets u win every time. A man does not fall out of love 4 no reason. U both must talk abt it. Don't give him a divorce, that only makes the decision easier for him. U can restore ur marriage if u want to. I don't tink any couple retains the same emotion throughout their marriage, there wuld b highs and lows.
OMG! I feel ur pain. I also got a shocker like dat when I was trying to transfer some pics from his phone to mine! My dear just lay all your heartache in God's able hands. It very obvious he's having an affair and he's blinded by lust. My prayer for you is may he suffer in the hands of the other woman so he'll realise what a gem he's leaving you for. AMEN!!!
I'm sooo sooo sorry to hear about this my dear……. NOT!!!! r u kidding me? you are exactly what is wrong with marriage these days! how can u even think of leaving him bcos he said that to his cousin! my dear let me tell you, Love and Loyalty are 2 different things. A man can love you and still leave you and i am talking from experience. he claims not to love u anymore but he still hasnt left. he hasnt called it quits but u want to pack ur bags and "Free" him. i'm sorry but that is d dumbest thing ever and u will regret it if u do. you are a woman and as a fellow woman let me tell you that it is your responsibility to make sure that you see your marriage through till death do you part. dont mention a word of what you saw on his phone, just pretend like u never saw a thing. try to get him alone to urself for one weekend if u can. send the kids to their grandparents and give your husband the best weekend he would never forget. i'm not talking about sex here although it must be included. u dont have to do anything crazy and expensive u can just book a weekend getaway for both of u at la campagne tropicana in epe or book a nice boutique hotel on the island (i recommend wheatbaker in ikoyi) eat, drink, gist, laugh do all the things u used to b4 things got this way. then after that weekend incorporate that in your daily life with him and hope for the best. if you truly love someone, you never stop loving the person.
Hello ma'am. No, I don't think your husband has ruined your life. You've rather given us reason to believe that you've actually stopped being the good wife he used to know. The problem begins with your continued belief that you're good wife.
He had earlier judged you to be a good based on certain metrics. And now he's made a U-turn. Don't you think some of those metrics are now missing or require improvement. If you expect him to continue to judge you as good wife by old metrics, then you're missing it.
Divorce shouldn't even be an option here. The problem is, you don't believe anything is amiss from your end. I can blame you. Average lady has similar problem.
Recommended Actions:
1. Throw away that pride and feelings that you've given all it takes to be a good wife.
2. Ruminate over your relationship with. What were those metrics he used in judging you as being a good wife in the past? What were you doing then that you're no longer doing now? What are you doing now that you weren't doing then? What does expect of you that you aren't living up to? Think! Think!! Drop your ego!
3. Then pray about it.
4. Give him surprises. Do some things differently. Watch his reactions
5. If nothing changes, still don't give him the impression that you saw anything. Don't challenge him. Rather, have a heart-to-heart chat with him on his change of behaviour.
6. Don't emotions guide your decisions oh!
7. This is your chance to put your home in order.
8. Continue to love him; dont pay him back wt hate.
I am so sorry you found this out. Are you sure your husband meant it?
I say you talk to him about it. Be strong because he will use reverse psychology and ask you why you checked his phone.
Prepare yourself for what you are about to hear.
Now if it was up to me dear, if my husband has fallen out of love with me, I will ask him if he wants to try counseling to make things work. However if he doesn't want to try and he is sure he is no longer in love, them I'm sorry I will leave.
If doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you hon, it just means there's someone out there who is waiting to meet you and love you!
Remember to pray too cause its going to be tough.
However I know you will prevail. Why? Because you are a woman. We are built to prevail
TELL HER TO BE PATIENT AND PRAYERFUL. SHE SHOULD DRESS WELL, AND GROOM HERSELF PROPERLY. SHE SHOULD NOT ACT TO CLINGY (MEN CANT STAND THAT), BUT SHOW LOVE AND BE DUTIFUL. THIS IS JUST A PASSING PHASE WHICH MOST MARRIAGES GO THROUGH SIMILAR OR NOT SIMILAR DIFFICULT TIMES. IT WILL SOON BE OVER
My dear it not the end of life. Take it to God in prayer if he is your wedded husband then u have the right to judge him in the alter of the most high God. Pls do not discuss him with your friends or family members. Discuss it with just God alone. All the best IFY
Hey dear......don't confront him...don't let him ever knw dat u found this out...jst find a way to win his love bak...wen u start doin dat he may be surprised about ur sudden niceness...but don't let him knw...rather work towards winnin his love bak...and soon he wld begin to love u more...hope ur takin care of urself too...asin physically still attractive after 3...don't worry dear jst do these things u'll be fine and all will be well too ok.
My dear I feel ur pain bt my advice 2 u is dat its beta u confront him wit d issue since u luv him dat much talk 2 him n tel hw much u luv him d gud times ur both have spent 2geda n let him knw dat u can't live witout him especially bcos of d kids. I wish u luck.
NTOOOOH!!!! Gud for u. U had to go snooping around abi? Wen they said "Dont try this at home" on James Bond movies, u thought they were joking eh? Ur husband didn't ruin ur lyf, U did. At least he cares enuf not to have opened up to u, probably so he wouldn't break ur heart. But noooooo Jamelia Bond here had 2 try out her investigator skills. Thats the problem dese days. Ppl go out lukin for fire where there is none, n trust me if u luk hard enuf, u'll definitely find a whiff of smoke....
hmmmmmm. This is such a sad story. Their is no doubt in my mind that he's not cheating already.
Ask God to intervene. I think you should tell him. Ask hime where it all went wrong. Ask him what he want, that you don't want either of you and the kids to be unhappy for the rest of your life.
Ask yourself too. What happen? Has anything change recently? Talk to this man even if you have to leave the kids at a relative to go away for the weekend if you guys can afford it.
If that didn't work, Tell someone older that is close to both of you more of someone he respect most to intervene. Please this person must be married long enough to talk sense into him.
Do you know prayer works? Please put it in prayer and leave it to God.
This is very unfortunate. While I can't give you any advice (I've realized marriage matters are far deeper than the surface), my heart does go out to you. Sending you cyber hugs. May you find comfort and resolution.
Going thru ur husbands phone is d fastest way to get high bp and ur early grave.forget all u read.concentrate on ur kids.whether he is in love or out of love na him sabi.ur kkids should give u all the happiness u deserve.
Knowledge is power. No one wants to hear that their husband doesn't love them anymore, but truth is, it does happen. We as Nigerians place marriage above personal fulfillment and happiness, often to the detriment of women. I'm gonna give you my solemn advice, not in anyway religious. Attempt counseling. If it is unsuccessful, then be prepared to at least give separation a try. Easier said than done in our harsh economic climate, but you never know, maybe you were meant to do great things on your own. The end of a marriage is not the end of the world.
I'm sorry for what you are passing through . . I can only imagine!
but you have to know that it's NOT your fault. If like you said, you did everything you could to make your husband happy as a wife, and God has blessed your marriage with 3 beutiful kids; then it's NOT your fault that your husband has 'fallen out of love with you'.
Don't make him feel guilty for something you didn't do! Please this is ALL on him.
I'm sure he knows what to do to reclaim the romance in his marriage . . if he can!
Please concentarte on doing what you have been doing, live your life right, face your job, take good care of your kids!
My Dear,think of wot made him to fall in love in the first place, u nid to rekindle that,chk how u used to communicate with him, how is ur sex life with him, the way u dress, the way u treat him,do u earn more than him, do u njoy his kind of sport, wot recreational activity does he like, do u judge him over his mistakes......u know the angle am going to so u nid to think, this is not the time to cry . We women make the mistake of saying "yes am married and dat is it" not knowing that we have to always, i say always spice up our marriage, the honey moon never ends, be creative even in the things of the "bed". b in tune with fashion but dress age appropriate. i wish u all the best! One love Nigeria.
There is nothing u can do but pray fervently to GOD ALMIGHTY to change his heart cos when a man falls out of love its like beating a dead horse back to life....but with GOD all things are possible so pls get on ur knees and start praying okay for its well...i assure u he will fall back in luv with u...dnt beat urself up,just confront him in a very polite way and tell him to tell u way puts him off and dat ur willing to change and win back his luv...
Yes,confront him.u shouldn't keep dat away from him.plus u need 2 start serious prayers o! Don't listen 2 anybody dat wil tell u 2 divorce him.I wil put u in my prayers too.
Unfortunately, snooping through your partner's phone is wrong so you can't use that in honest conversation. But you said you noticed he had become distant. Use that and ask him what happened. Do not confront him, communicate.
Love can be built again you know? Talk with your hubby and hope that you can both learn to trust and be open with each other again. All the best.
You dnt have to be devastated my dear Think of how you guys started Think of that thing that made him fall in love with you in the first place Try bringing it back if it has been lost Try winning his love back Do not confront him cos the table wud turn around and you would be at fault(men are so good @ that trust me) Bring back that love vibe ( you know what I mean)... Take it from there and let's see how it goes Don't give up dear. It is well
Chai!!! I feel like crying, cuz I feel ur pains, it is nt easy 2 be in dis suitation, just try and tk a vacation somewhere cool ur brains & pray tinz get bk normal, but if u cnt, confront him & face d outcome, den u can tk d next bold step,,.d lord is ur strength
You say "I've done everything I know how to be a good wife". Are you certain you have? So many marriages are falling apart because of one party taking the other for granted (applies to both men and women)! My suggestion, do not confront him about the message, sit him down and find out if he is happy and if not, find a way to get him to talk about it and most inportantly, listen!!!
I'm not married buh I'll tell u.... Be really loving, be a better wife evn if it kills u, tho it mite not be ur fault he's outta love wiv u, but show him true care, then be hot and sexy as hell. Trust me he wld fall even if he isn't in love anymore.... Then take a break, a long one(this wld be more difficult on u most likely) I bet he wld miss dat woman he loved and married when he has time to fink. Don't divorce him tho.... U'll just hurt urself and ur kids.
aww sorry love - but don't worry your husband may have fallen out of love with you but he still loves you - at about 5-8yrs is the right time to feel this way - think about it after 5yrs at a job you're eager to move on - because this is marriage and for life you just have to focus on spicing up your relationship - forget the kids - your husband comes 1st - and he needs to be tend to 1st - men are like babies when they don't get the attn they need to find someone or something else - so whilst you're being the best mother you ought to be his friend - think about when you guys were dating - bring that back into your marriage , look for projects to work on , make sure he sees and knows he's your number 2 after God and then pray- infact pray 1st and don't stop - your husband loves you if he didn't he would have left - it is usually women that stays for kids not men - men will go - so my dear tears won't solve anything and there's no point confronting him because 1)you're not supposed to be going thru his phone in the 1st place - find a way to get in --goodluck hon -you've officially entered the 2nd phase of marriage - take control and don't let it control you - are you going to breakdown or breakout - choice is yours and please do it for your relationship not the kids - kids needs happy parents not miserable ones
going thru ur partner's phone. i dnt even knw if dts a gud or bad tn. *sigh*. i think u shud talk to him about it. Also ask urself wot it was dat attracted him to u and find out if u still have dat. Dont jst lie around d house doing nothing. Get busy, always look HOT! let him see d you he fell in love with. Even in marriage, dnt eva get too comfortable..be on ur toes and knw dt u have competition outside. Above all, pray about it hun. God will save ur marriage in Jesus name.
I feel your pain..cheating is unacceptable but this is worse than cheating..I think u shld talk to him about him being distant and all and hear what he has to say...only God can heal u of ur pains..no friend or family can...I've been in a similar situation and I'm just healing from the wound it left me..it is well
Now I see why the Westeners,especially women,freakout at the mention of "marriage". Hmmmm. Never been scared all my life abt it until now. Yes it's wrong to tru his phon but somtimes it's good o. How wld she have found out the thruth?
Your best bet is to retrace your steps and find out when you stopped doing those things that made him fall in love with you before you got married, maybe you've become sloppy in your dressing( you couldn't care less after all you are now bearing his Mrs?)the way you admire him,cook for him treat him as the most important person in your life(which actually he is)regard less of your carrier, do you respect him and honour him in the presence of his friends and family, when was the last time you were creative in the bedroom or has the bedroom become boredom room?, when was the last time you appreciated his effort of looking after you and the children or do you take his kindness for granted? Do you make him feel his work is not as interesting or rewarding as your own? do you pick up the bills without his permission? there are so many things you might have thought no longer matter. No amount of advice can help you if you are not willing to fight a good fight for your marriage, asking him about the message he sent t this relation is a wrong thing to do now,change your attitude towards him and then he will notice and relate a diffrent story to people around him
You don't need to let him know you went through his phone. SPEAK to him all the same, talk to him about the things you're no longer comfortable with, if you both have pending issues, talk to him about it. And while at it, he just might open up Abt the things eating him up.
You need to work it out. He fell in love with you, that can happen again. You need to be patient in all of these, don't push it. Let him take his time. But communication is KEY.
ignore everyone who is saying u should confront himm....u dont wanna get beaten up do u? the fact that u even went through his phone is already bad...since u noticed that he has been distant, use that and talk to him..communicate DONT confront...u can save marriage..divorce is not the way out..if u love God, u should be determined to respect his arrangement and beautiful institution of marriage...as imperfect as u both are, try your best..
You are so INSECURE, why go through your husband/Wife phone or email. People like you should have such phones explode in their face. I will never DO it, just because he's my husband does not mean he has no privacy.
So true.ma'am just try thing and I bet you he will come running for you then u remind him you saw the chat.thicker skin is all you need and build ur world around your kid.don't think of divoice.
My husband once fell out of love with me and when i spoke to a friend about this she gave me this tips and it worked. i don't have you email address so am gonna post it bit by bits. because Linda might cut it short. And i pray it works for you.
I am perplexed! You should be glad you didn't find out he's cheating on you, but falling out of love is fixable....just talk to him and try to make him & yourself fall in love all over again!!!! There is still hope as long as there is NO OTHER WOMAN!!!!!
My husband once fell out of love with me and when i spoke to a friend about she gave me this tips which am gonna send to you. I don't have your email address i would have sent it directly to you so am gonna send it bits by bits. so Linda doesn't cut it short.
This is important. Take a look at what he sees, not just physically. Are you someone who he should fall in love with all over again? How do you handle yourself? When he comes home are you happy to see him? Do you do little things for him that make him happy? Do you let him enjoy things that make him happy? Physical is important too...you don't have to be a supermodel, but what was it about you that he fell in love with in the first place? It is important to still make yourself beautiful for him. Fix yourself up before he gets home. Before you climb into bed take a few minutes to make yourself look and smell good. Do you nag when he wants to do something or watch something? Sure dancing with the stars is on tonight, but so is the game. What do you think is hotter to a man? Watching you loaf on the couch watching the dancers or maybe watching you wearing a jersey making some killer nachos for the game? I understand you need to enjoy things too, but it is important to make sacrifices for him sometimes! We will go into more detail on this stuff below.
It takes time, you can't expect it to happen overnight! The more subtle the changes the more long lasting they will be. You can wow him and have a great night, but you want a great lifetime so take your time. Revamp your current game plan, don't try to do it all at once. If you don't get the wow reaction you are looking for, just be patient. He may be thinking you want something or did something. After awhile he will not be able to resist you!
So I am sure you have a list of things for him to do around the house, or maybe he has his own list. This can be a great oportunity for you. Impress him...do some googling on the list and see if there is anything you can fix yourself. For example... our washer recently was not draining it was going into an error mode and where you pour the softener in it wasn't draining. After a few days of waiting on him to fix it, I googled it. The repair was very simple and I did it myself. He was very impressed. Since then I have fixed many things on my own thanks to the power of the internet. I am sure there is something you can do on the list. Don't let him know you have done it until it's done. He might doubt you and tell you not to mess with it. After you have fixed it don't give him a "I fixed it cause I was tired of waiting on you" kind of attitude. Be careful not to over shoot yourself too. Don't try to repair something and end up messing it up worse. Do the research and make sure you can fix it. You can also pay attention to when he is doing things around the house and join him. Cleaning the garage, the yard, painting...dont nag him to do it. Wait until he starts then just help him out. And while your at it remember you are doing this for him, so don't have a bad attitude about it. Find times to laugh, talk, and flirt with him while completing th task. Do things he wouldn't expect. If he has something heavy to lift or gross to take care of help him out. Don't have the "I don't want t break my nail" attitude. All guys love being surprised and you coming out of your normal element to help him with a task he may have considered out of your range will for sure surprise him. Just remember to be cute about it all not annoying!
I hate when women use sex as a tool to get what they want. Sex is supposed to be an intimate thing that only the two of you share. I am not going to go into detail here. You need to remember the importance that is has on your marriage...holding out is not going to do you any favors. Initiate, don't always make him ask for it. I always hated when my husband would just ask for it instead of working for it. I found the way to make him work for it is to start the foreplay myself get him worked up enough, and trust me he will work for it. After marriage I think alot of men forget how to initiate foreplay. Give it a try. Spice it up...The same old thing can get old no matter what it is. Remember what I said about surprising him? The bedroom is a great place to surprise him! Another thing we seem to forget how to do after marriage is please the other person. Forget about yourself every once in awhile and completely focus on him in the bedroom! Oh and another thing....you don't have to just do things in the bedroom and at night (Spice it up, Surprise the heck out of him)
I believe there is nothing difficult for God to do. I want you to pray to God and ask God to renew the love in your marriage. I feel your marriage altar has lost it's potency but i can tell you this, "YOU CAN RECOVER THE SWEETNESS, LOVE, HAPPINESS AND JOY OF YOUR MARRIAGE AGAIN" just ask for the Presence of God. Before the marriage hit the rock, consult the manufacturer of LOVE (God) and He will surely help you. Start by praying together i believe you haven't done that in a while. If God's presence is lacking on your marriage altar things will go wrong. Pray together as a family, Read the book of Proverbs, Psalms and Songs of Solomon to renew your love and you will find the flowing river of God's love that is endless. God bless you
One of the best ways I find to flirt is by texting...So much of our conversation after marriage is about the kids, the house, the money. Send him a sweet or sexy text. Go ahead do it right now.... Tell him he how hot he looked this morning, or how much you cannot wait for him to come home tonight. Play a game with him this is one of my favorite.. Text him and say "You get 3 guesses and only 3 guesses.... you get 3 clues and only 3 clues, and you must guess one guess after each clue. Are you ready to play?" Once he responds that he is ready send him a clue make him guess something, either what you are wearing, a memory you shared, what you are thinking, the list is endless. Make it last though, dont send him all 3 clues at once. Make him wait for each clue. I usually go about an hour between each clue. I find texting can be fun. He can't hear the chaos of the kids in the background and it can be very flirtatious. If you don't text or he doesn't text than put a note in his car each day. Find various ways to flirt with him, make it fun. Holding your hand is not really flirting for him. You being cute with him is. Laugh at his jokes, look at him more, listen to him more.
I know it seems like it is the only way you can get him to do what you want, but think about when you were dating. He would've hung the moon for you. Once you get him to fall in love with you all over again it will be much easier than nagging. So he forgot to put his clothes in the laundry basket and left them laying on the bedroom floor. Instead of complaining about it say something like "Wow I was planning on ripping your clothes off of you tonight, it looks like someone already did" Then pick them up and put them in the basket. These flirtatious hints will kick in. And trust me he will hear what you are saying more than he hears when you nag!
Whether it's hockey, football, golf, bowling, fishing, etc. He loves it and sometimes it makes youu mad because it takes time away from you, the kids, or the house. Why not take a different approach? If he loves fishing...take him fishing. Football? Get tickets to a college game....Golf? Set up a tee time for two and let him teach you. You don't have to become his new golfing buddy, but you can take him out let him show you how to do something he enjoys. Don't be annoying about it though. If you take him fishing be ready to hook the worm yourself. Don't be all ewwww! And screaming like a girl. You have to be cute about it and show intrest in it. Me like to teach us so let him teach you. Flirt with him, don't try to be like one of the guys. Whether it's a game, fishing, or golf. Come up with a cute little challenge for the two of you. That way no matter who wins you know you will be having some fun afterwards. Also important....don't try to replace the guys! Just because you went fishing with him one doesn't mean you are his new fishing partner!
Either get a sitter, or if the kids are old enough tell them it's date night for mom & dad. Get them a video game or movie and pizza to keep them busy. Set up a date night in your bedroom. Light alot of candles. Sprinkle some rose pedals on the bed. Set up a small table with some cheescake and fresh strawberrie or whatever he would prefer. Have some whipped cream & chocolate for the dessert (or whatever else you can find to do with it) Buy him a rose (yes guys like roses!) Write him a love note or buy him a card. Sexy yourself up. Rent a romantic movie. Enjoy the night alone locked in your bedroom! It will be very romantic and relaxing.
Don't try to change him. You need to love him. Remember the reasons you fell in love with him. Remind yourself of the sweet things he has done or said. So maybe if you look at him right now he isn't the prince charming you expected him to be. But, that is most likely because you are just living in the day to day rut. If you break through that rut and show him some surprises. Do your part to spark that flame back up. You will see the changes in him will come naturally in the way he will look at you, talk to you, and spend time with you. Before you know it you will both be head over heels in love again. You will be the couple at the restaurant holding hands across the dinner table while staring into each others eyes. Men are different when they are in love. I am not saying they don't love us all the time, but we have them under some kind of a different spell when they are in that "in love" zone. The same goes for us too, we speak and act more freely. We are happier. I was told being in love actually releases some kind of checmical in the brain. So spend some time thinking about what you really do love about him. Do something every day to wow him! Be patient, he cannot fall back in love with you over night. Don't get frustrated, give him time and don't give up!
STOP SNOOPING, its a sign of insecurity, have you added weight, you should look after yourself and keep appealing to him. Hit the gym and look your best. Men are attracted by what they see. God help you. But quit snooping.
y did u check he's phone?why?my gurl friend keeps doing that and it very disrespectful.d worst thing u will do is to let him kw u went thru he's phone.
10 THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW Just dont do them all at once 1. Spruce up the bedroom..... Wash the bed linens, put some candles in the bedroom, find a picture of the two of you and put it by his bedside.
2. Make or order his favorite dinner.
3. Send him an email or text telling him you are thinking about him.
4. Plan to put the kids to bed early tonight so the two of you can spend more time together.
5. Clean out his car and leave him a short note and a piece of his favorite candy.
6. Buy him something, it doesn't have to be anything big. Just something to say I was thinking about you today.
7. Buy some new lingere and surprise him with it.
8. Write him a letter. You did it when you dated, take some time and sit down and pour out your heart.
9. Let him know you are proud of him. Brag on his accomplishments no matter how big or small.
10. Take the kids out of the house, make some snacks and let him have some friends over for the game.
i tired them out and it worked for me but not immediately. its gonna take sometime and prayers as well. I wish you all the best. Please divorcing him is not the solution yet.
Good Heaven! What cud be worse than this??? My dear the lot I have seen made me decide I must not get married #Pardon me. The dream of every one is to settle with a man, but in most cases it broken, so wots the point??? Alot happened to me lately and i took the hardest decision ever! I want to be alone am done with Man trouble, its difficult but i will try. My candid advice, dnt confront him, if there are thing hes been complaining about please do them right, remember those things he admired about you before u got married, start doing them again, Love him even more, if he said u were a gud wife, become a better wife, its gonna be hard to cope knowing wot u already know, but try and pretend you didnt see it, pray to God to give you peace in the inside and the courage to scale through this bombshell, you have to this fast, before another woman takes his attention, then u ll have lil or notting to do...act Fast! ff me on Twitter @Tweeti_Cherry
512 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 512 Newer› Newest»ask him if he can xplain nd if he refuse 2 do dat check ur self
It is well.take heart .if u believe in God now Is d time to get on ur knees nd pray.then u need to work on urself1. Soul searching.2. Get a make over,new hair do new wardrobe ,start exercising .make him want u all ver agin.i call it FAITH and WORKS. U dnt want confront him men hate confrontation.
God is ur strength .
Have no fear for this is normal. every married couple go through this period in their marriage life. Now, it could be as a result of (a) he's really cheating (b) he's not putting his best in the marriage (c) he married you because of the physical attributes (c) could bee a spiritual thing . See here, (counselling is important here FROM A TRUE CHRISTAIN BELIEVER) your husband must be made to SEE YOU now for who you really are to him and accept the fact that he is married to you and only you till death does him part from you. He must understand that he is your completing half. Let him know that you know about what he feels about you (with the help of church pastor and family) Take heart dearie, find a pastor/counsellor and pray ( I believe this is your trying moment. Take heart, your husband is yours and he's going nowhere.
Oh boy!!!! This is §ǿ not GƠ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡D,pls confront him,§ǿ U̶̲̥̅̊ guys can find a way out Oº°˚˚°ºh,maybe U̶̲̥̅̊ stopped doing some of the things that made him fell in ƪ♥√ع with U̶̲̥̅̊ in D̶̲̥̅̊ ist place..its a GƠ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡D thing you've known now,becos it would have been worst if he starts mistreating U̶̲̥̅̊ Α̲̅πϑ u start thniking maybe U̶̲̥̅̊ commited an unknown crime ...§ǿ Sorry can't imagine what I'll do if i were in U̶̲̥̅̊я shoes shaaa...it really hurts.
First of all, dont you know that "what you dont know wont hurt you?". You opened his phone to know if your husband is cheating on you and you would have be happy if that was the result abi? Instead, you got the shock of your life. Sadly, it was worse. The bright side is, at least now you know your stand. WHat u gonna do about it?
I think most women fail to realize that, men stop loving, we get tired easily, its not just being a good wife that counts several it goes far beyond that, other things count, dont push it ladies, u will always find that right man for you, It pains me when i see two people in love, you can never know a man too well, you only know the part he wants you to know, try hard not to push pass that limit, when u start pushing we stop loving, we get tired, don't be to quick to opening up all to a guy once we know everything and there's nothing left to talk about we get bored and u seem to think we dont care and we dont listen we really do care but repetition isn't just our thing. I can go on and on about this. For a honest truth about a man you can talk to me via this email .... nicejob872@yahoo.com
It is really sad dear, i am speechless and i do not know what advice is appropriate for you. But i think you should first ask GOD for help and after that confront your husband. Both of you should sit down and discuss honestly about this issue. May be you both can still sort things out. You both should fight for your marriage. May GOD almighty be with you, may HE protect your union in JESUS's name. One love and peace!!!!!!
Getting to know is the best thing that happened to you...now you need to use that edge to enter him and ask him what would you do that could ever make him stop loving you or get tired of the marriage.....Sit him down and let him realise that you love him with all that you are and try to bring him back home.....if he fell out of love with you, he's either seeing someone else or putting his plans into place....act fast...a stitch in time saves nine !
take heart dear it happens,he will surely fall bck in luv with you.he is just goin tru a phase.i fall out of love with mi hubby sometimes and after a while,i begin to notice and remember what made me fall in love with him in the first place and i fall back in love with him.that doesn't mean am having an affair but stress is too much and i feel he is not being helpful a times.am sure mi hubby falls out too !!! we all think is greener on the other side only shit gets serious lol
Confront him and find out d truth.
Oh sorry, one of the most diificult part of life to get the right advice. But all in all I believe marriage is a union between men and God, so talk to Him. Then get to work, you have a duty to keep your home, work up yourself to make him love u again. Improve ur wardrope, cooking,emotions and develop interests in what he likes most. God help you o.
U have to ask him were nd wen u went wrong,some men or pple kwn hw to keep pple in mind nd dis kills watever dey have for u.dnt let him go cos u dnt kwn wat u meet were u runin to.it can b solve my sis nd wit God tins wil wk out again.all d best
you have every right to know what went wrong in the journey of your marriage.you have to confront him and tell him about your recent findings.u will never know what went wrong if u just sit there and assume tings.u r a team and when the other party is nt responding u hve got to begin asking.well if gets verbally abusive or get physical,i guess he has someone he respects n listens to,do contact them.wateva hapens take ur mind off divorce bt again dserve to be happy.goodluck
quite disheartening if you ask me, but wait a minute, these things happen in marriages sometimes its due to one fault of ours or the other, sometimes too, its spiritual,but whatever it may be i will advice you not to allow the devil to take advantage of the situation and pray seriously to GOD that HE will turn things around for your favour, he is your husband and the good LORD will bring back the love and all will be well again i assure you, please keep loving him. and you will laugh last, you will see.:)
Try and make him fall in love again.
Hello, I know how difficult what you are going through is but relax a lil, crying isnt going to help, i also know you cant forget what you read but you can make it better, he aslo hasnt confronted you with this details so it shows he still has a tiny lil love left for you, rem the things that makes him happy try to do them plus remember the heart of the kings is in God's hands and he directs the affairs, speak to God, cry out to God...put your faith to test, when you think of what you read talk to God about it. I wish you all the best.
pray to God for wisdom and confront him politely about it so you will know what to do.
As for me,don't let him knw you went tru his fone.just cook him his favorite nd say ur mind after d meal.tel him what u notice of him lately nd hear his part.ask him wot his wrong,one tin dt must not be absent is COMMUNICATION.I feel u both lack dat,I wish u all d best,after den take ur decision.
My dear... Happened to me too. Went thru my ex hubby 's phone.. What I saw ruined everything. We are divorced now cause not only did he give his mistress my number to insult me. He also told her he wasn't married that I was forcing myself on him.. Let's just say its all in the past now.. I ve moved on and remarring easter 2013m but mine is differnt cause I don't have kids with him. Put ur relationship in prayers and watch God manifest in ur life! U will be fine. I cired for months when mine happened. But who knew God had something better in stock 4 me. I wish u the very best. Take care
Have no fear for this is normal. every married couple goes through this period in their marriage life. Now, it could be as a result of (a) he's really cheating (b) he's not putting his best in the marriage (c) he married you because of the physical attributes (c) could be a spiritual thing . See here, (counselling is important here FROM A TRUE CHRISTAIN BELIEVER) your husband must be made to SEE YOU now for who you really are to him and accept the fact that he is married to you and only you till death does him part from you. He must understand that he is your completing half. Let him know that you know about what he feels about you (with the help of church pastor and family) Take heart dearie, find a pastor/counsellor and pray ( I believe this is your trying moment. Take heart, your husband is yours and he's going nowhere.
Eh ya.... It's very common in marriages, u dont have to let him go. He can have fall in love with u again. Be petaint, ride the tough period. Let him miss u for a bit, that could spark the love again or do what u used to do when u 1st met. And pray to God for direction....... ASJ
i can't say i feel your pain because i am not there.
i have question for you, when was the last time you were his friend? what alot of fail to know is that, we have to be a friend to our spouse.
you are busy being his wife and never bothering to be his friend. you forgot what brought you guys together in the first place.
don't get me wrong the is nothing wrong in being his wife and mother of your kids. your husband should be your best friend and vis vasa.
from your write up, COMMUNICATION between you too died along time ago. real COMMUNICATION not something about your kids and neighbour.
talk to him but not in a confrontational way. that way you will understand what went wrong. better still take a vacation that way you will not be interrupted by kids and family affair.
JUST MY OPINION
Falling out of love by husbands happen in most marriages and has happened in mine but i overcame it.what you need to do is try and remember the things you used to do before the kids came , when it was all rosy, start doing them again and pray also. Its nothing new, don't get a divorce. i would only encourage divorce if he hits you and God forbid that happen.
Men ! Men !! Men !!! Just take things easy first ,and try and talk to ur mum abt it .
Just keep praying for him...i dont know when the conversation via bb hearld...but one thing is certain if you do the right thing in no time the truth will be revealed..another thing is, he said it does not mean he meant it...circumstance surrounding their conversation might result to that...pls act like you did not see it...he will continue to be in it until he loves you again if he meant it....ambassador
trust nobody
Its So sad but I tink u shld confront him nd talk to him,I believe u both can work it out cos marriage is for better for wost.Goodluck to u
It happens, that you are a good wife, you keep d home, take good care of the kids,cook &clean and offer sex when asked does not necessarily mean you are a good lover. Bring the fun back to your relationship. Pretend you have not seen the chat , flirt with your husband, dress to kill (if you have been tying Buba and iro), go on trousers, skirts and gowns/dresses; be proactive and initiate the sex. Sing, do crazy stuff, don't mop around or cry; it will make him sit up and might even wonder if you have an admirer. It is important to note that you should not take for granted because he says you are a good wife then you let your guard down. Be also a good lover Even men who love their wives once in a while feel like they get out of their marriage. He might not be in total love with but surely, he still loves you; of course except if he was forced to marry you in the first place.
Hmmmmmmmm! Pele.... jez tell him what you saw on his phone and you guys should seriously talk it out. Its nothing new, at times you both might be busy with your career or kids and end up just sleeping on the same bed with all connection lost. Try all you can to revive your relationship with your hussy. Bye
Choi. Nke a li kwa m ONU. Nne m di be oh ö ije uwa. My advise is, don't give him a divorce and don't act like you know anything. Just try and heal, dress more appealing stay a little longer at the office just act like you can't be bothered at all and do all this while still doing ur wifely duties and most of all look for verses in the bible that speak on restoration and fast and pray. Watch porn if you must to revamp your straphing skills(biko it's optional before some holinwejes will have my head). My sister once told me marriage is not for the faint hearted. However, try not to seek his face too much or become clingy. Check if you hv stepped down on ur beauty regimen since you got married. Start dieting if you must. Do all you can without making him know you know about that text message. It should work and if it doesn't then i'm sorry to say, he is not worthy of you.
It is well my dear, PLS TALK TO GOD PERSONALLY YES I MEAN PERSONALLY, and pull yourself together be strong for your children I know its difficult but try. It is only when you are alive and healthy that your hope to be in love is sure. Please be strong
i have only been married for 4 years but I know marriage is hard wirk It takes God's grace.we get consumed with work,chores and different thing that sometimes it feels so mundane.I try to always keep communication line open.maje extra effort to be sexy send ur kids to grandparents for a weekend.go away and rekindle the love.trust me.he still feels sth.but before u can do this.u have to ask him honestly how he feels.trust me with God on your side,You can overcome.
At this juncture, u have to be very careful not to make a hasty decision that might later ruin your entire life. though it's very painful, but allow yourself to be depressed for some time, and equally take your time to get over it.....after which you gradually take your time to find out the whole truth from him before you finally decide on the next step to take.
Hmmmmmm.... marriage.......never a child's play!!!
Wow so sad but since you already know his mind, u might as well confront him about it cos u might av really put him off dat u dint know u did. Really sorry abt ur situation
They say what you don't know can't hurt you! your insecurity got you to where you are now. if a man has fallen out of love that is the end. just separate and do not file for a divorce just for the sake of your 3 kids.
i wish you all the best.
Hi Lady ,this happened to a friend of mine too.she was devastated but she had an open talk with her husband and he finally opened up.he was holding something that happened just before they got married and right after they got married to heart.he never forgave her for the offence she never knew she committed.so its probably something he's holding against u.prayerfully talk to him and hold on to ur man.all thhe best.
Madam, you are on your own. @ dis time n age, u r still worrying n calling off work cos of a man. I always say and will always maintain dat no man is worth a drop of my tear. Life is fun. Thank God u ve 3 kids, rebrand yourself and see if he's gonna go back in love with you or not.
So painful....Really dont understand what is happening to marriages these days. I pray God give me a woman i wil 4ever love and wil assist me to live up to my expected marriage life.
Nope,he hasn't ruined ur life.The only thing that can ruin ur life is death ok?Be strong.Confront him and ask him what d problem is...Pray harder..he may change.Divorce is not an option,esp in dis part of d world.
Oh my God! I feel your pain woman, God will strenghten you...#sobbing
Waoh! this is so pathetic, but take it to God in prayer cos with Him everything is possible. Fast and pray, i repeat, fast and pray. if not for anything, but at least for the future of the kids, bcos children from broken homes suffers later on in the future. Pls, fast and pray on your own. U dont need to meet with any pastor for any vision. Your heart is your temple and our God is ever faithful. FAST AND PRAY. God will put smiles in your face soonest.
Kpele dear. There is this movie: Mr&Mrs. Its a Nollywood production staring that Nse lady and Joseph somebody...anyways try and watch it.It is interesting, funny and most of all it has some strong lessons you could use to revive your marriage. If you have had 3 kids with this man, he probably got bored and started taking you for granted. The fire that brought you two together is still there somewhere, just find a way to activate it. Divorce is not an option. AND please dont let him know you searched his phone until the fire is kindled even if its a little bit. Marriage should be an adventure people and No! im not talking about the bedroom. Generally couples should keep the spark alive.
Ntoorrr to u!who send u go read?u neva hear of let sleeping dogs lie?women,there's nothing prayer can't solve in a marriage..if u are suspicious of ur spouse,instead of going thru his pockets,phones,etc,calling up females to warn them to stay off ur hubbies n all the many other silly things you do to 'get back ur man or keep him tied to u',expend that energy on ur KNEES!!!that's the place of battle that settles all and melts even the hardest of hearts...its not by ur doing CID or wanting to act Jack Bauer.
If this is a true story then my sincere advise to you is to get down on your knees and pray.
God is love and only Him can give the type of love that lasts forever. His love never fails. Cry to Him and ask Him to show you what to do. He is a God that answers prayers and if you cry to Him sincerely, He will listen and answer.
Don't depend on anything or anyone else. God has all the answers you need. Don't be despair. Trust in God and He will give you the peace you need. Ask Him to show you how to love your husband more and treat your husband with love, respect and humility. Don't fight him, don't confront him. Right now, focus on God healing you and showing you what to do. The fact that he has not left the marriage means something. Other men in his situation have left notwithstanding the number of children they have. God can fix this. Allow God to fix you and your marriage and you will share your testimony in no time.
But if you haven't given your life to Jesus. Then its the first thing you want to do. I don't know what religion you practice or if you even believe in God. But I can assure you that He is the answer because when my marriage was about to break up even with two children, God fixed it and got us back together. He is willing to do it for you too. I will pray along with you. God bless you.
1 are you fat?
2 drop your kids at ur parent for 2,months, lose weight and fuck the hell out of your husband
Focus on ur relationship, stop nagging, get involved in what he likes, listen to things he has to say, if he still isn't in love then leave him as long as he pays for the kids schools fees and other expenses, good bye! Don't allow yourself be sad!
My wife will be the luckiest lady on earth. i am so unique.. For the lady, sorry oo shits really do happen in the mens world.
first check yourself, get at least two of ur friends women and a man that knows u very well ask them whether there is any changing in ur character if there is not confront him not with anger but with wisdom if things does not work out get that his cousin and have a close discussion with, if things doesn't regularize report the matter to ur God in prayer, sometime ur husband action might not be ordinary
I will advise that you don't confront your husband with your findings, because if you do, it can either collapse or reshape the marriage. What I will advise is that, try to create more intimate relationship with him, and when you see the situation is getting better you can then ask him whether he love you or not. From his response you will know how to amend the situation. Alternatively,you can consult a marriage counselor to guide you. I wish you all the best.
calm down my dear, crying wont solve anything. u need to get to the root of the problem and the best way to do that is to speak to him. find out what has changed and why he dsnt love u anymore and then u guys can work on fixing things. Dont be confrontational about it, approach him with love and its usually best not to have these conversations at home. mayb you can plan a dinner date for both of u. good luck sweety *hugs*
Madam, the sincere truth is that men are polygamous in nature, and he might have his reasons why he doesnt love you anymore, my sincere advise is to call his attention in an amicable manner, ask him why the sudden change besides he might have his reasons , try and put a corrective measures if he opens up to you.
Secondly, most women dont take care of themselves simply because they are married, if he has complain of anything about you, size, weight, neatness, food etc, try and put them into consideration, then pray to God for his change.. Do not consider a divource because of the children, show him more love and attention, he will surely come back.
Do not check or monitor his phone again, give him free hand and be faithful to him. People will not tell you this but it has worked for me . Am 19 years in marriage and my husband and i are best of friends
Well, maybe that's d problem, u are just too good and obedient, there is no spark, u don't shake ur husband, u are just too good. Men get bored easily and am sure that's ur offence. To get ur man back I think u need to get his attn, be sturborn don't go out of ur way to please him.
Have a heart to heart talk with him.
you got to go on your knee with God all things are possible he will come back tou
This is the saddest relationship question ive ever heard. As someone who has never been married I really don't know what to say... The only thing I can offer is prayers. Pray and leave it to God. Also, you might want to consider changing your attitude, the way you dress, the way you smell, etc. I know your supposed to be loved for who you are but if he no longer loves you then you might have to adjust who you are a bit. Good luck sha, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dearest, there isn’t a particular set of steps or instant remedy to this and it is really sad that you had to find out about this and in this way. Probably not on the top of the list of what you want to hear but as a Christian, this is the time to table this marriage of yours to God. You've come so far and given so much and I would not advice that you give him a divorce. It wouldn't be easy and you may not see an instant result but you have to work through God's grace and on your knees to Him because this is the only way you can achieve a successful result. Nevertheless, this may sound cliché but 'communication' is key in any relationship. I don’t think you should confront him for now because it probably wouldn't go the way you want. Ask God to touch his heart, especially as you love a lot and you need to get through to him. Try to get his honest opinion on the success of the marriage so far, in this sense try and talk to him about your marriage, not necessarily bring up your discovery. While you may have given it your all, it is also important that you assess yourselves and discuss it, for it is through this medium that you become aware of shortcomings that you probably didn’t think of in that way. Get honest opinions from each other! I don't know if as a family you have a cordial relationship with your pastor, or even if you are Christians. If you are, it is definitely something to talk to your pastor about. Be careful not to talk about this to just any and everybody because not everyone is calm enough to do the right thing or give the right advice in such situation, and you do not want to make it any worse for everyone by acting rashly. Since it is already on LIB, I suggest that take your time and go through the comments, weighing the suggestions you get properly. Most importantly, you need to be strong especially for your children and be meticulous with the decisions you take. Marriage isn't perfect and is one of those journeys in life that requires patience, tolerance and most especially love. We as humans are very incapable on our own accord to achieve this, but we can through God's grace. So my dear, I’ll end this long speech of mine by telling you not to give up and it is well with you and your marriage by God’s grace. Please trust God and cheer up.
no one lesson if your marred, never check your husbands phone cause you'll always be disappointed.
I read my hubby's mail 2 and i was devastated. Smetimes i regret but its gd i knw who he is now. He has been cheating on me wit a lady in he's office, who wrks directly under him. We have been married for jst a yr. I still cry wen i think bout it. To make it worse she even got pregnant nd had an abortion mre than once. Can u imagine. He has always had d p/wrd to my phnes nd mail but that can never happen again. Right now i no onger love him again i feel so betrayed. If not for my family nd little baby i wld ve left him. He still wrks wit d lady nd i cant stop imaginin dem. I jst hae him sooo much now
I desrve my happiness nd so do u
Your husband didn't ruin ur life.. I technically you not being able to trust him ruined ur life.. So now the only sensible thing to do is to talk to him and either go talk to a marriage counselor and try to work on him falling for u again or u let him lose
My dear I have been there, I have been with my husband for 7 years now, 4years into the marriage I fell out of love, but we were still together like just ordinary friends,I later realized that with the friendship we had we could build back our love life again.so,one day I call him and sat him down, asked him to tell me the things he doesn't like anymore about me,and I also told mine.I also asked him what are the things he would love to see in his present day woman which he told him, then I realized that I had neglected a lot of things. So I surprised him by paying for an hotel for the weekend for just the both of us and while we were there we reflected on all the things that made us fall in love and got marriage and that was the magic. So my dear if u still love him find a way to make it work and STOP GOING VIA YOUR MANS PHONE u go just kill yourself for nothing.
leave him alone nd dnt go 4 a divorce jst pray 2 God 4 ur marriage
there is nufin worse than pity love if you love him as much as you claim you do just let him go. yes he might be the love of your life you might not find another like him, but what's the point of two pple being miserable, i respect the fact that he stayed becos of the children. and yes men especially Nigerian men it never counts whether your the perfect wife or not. some times they just dont care. Pray about it and then talk to him about it. sometimes pple grow out of love and the next thing that happens is that you become friends and in this our modern day if that doesnt work there is always the option of divorce. do what makes you happy
How painful! I can't imagine how hurt you would feel now. I don't know if you believe in Jesus; if you don't I would first ask you to surrender to Him right away. There isn't a better time to do this.
If you already believe in Jesus, and have accepted Him as your Lord and Saviour, then, my dear friend, there's no brokenness God cannot mend; no injury Jehovah can't heal. Take your marital situation to God in prayer and ask for His divine help. Then boldly speak (not confront) with your husband - its better you let it all out than to keep crying and slowly die in silence. Believe me, it may not be as bad as you think.
Please talk things over with him AFTER YOUR PRAYERS. Only he (i.e. your husband) can tell you how he feels - assumption won't. Listen to what he tells you and find out what amends can be made between the two of you.
I always believe that one key ingredient to a successful marriage is PROPER COMMUNICATION between the man and his wife. There's no substitute for that. When proper communication is lacking in a marriage, that marriage becomes prone to any devastating effect. I would have expected your husband to talk things over with you, as the man of the house, not confiding in a third party on his marital issues. That wasn't right.
I also believe if you trust Jesus to repair the brokenness in your marriage, He would do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you could ever ask, or think or imagine.
And one more important thing: Try to stop worrying - it won't solve anything but rather it would eventually affect your health which would add to your concerns. I know its easier said than done but please try to replace your thoughts of worry, at this moment, with thoughts of God's faithfulness and unconditional love. Jesus cares!
dr.rukevwe@gmail.com
I feel your pain madam, your story is very touching. I suggest you don't confront him. Keep it to yourself and pretend not to know about it. Marriage is for better for worse, you need pray hard, confide in God there's 'nothing' He cannot do. Then hit the gym, lose some weight and tone up. While on that,go for shopping, get a decent young lady that will accompany you to buy some nice decent clothing and some new lingerie. Change your hair style every 2-3wks(try fixing ponytail & braids)& use less makeup. Take good care of yourself and try making him jealous sometimes(don't over do it tho). Do all these and you will thank me later. Remember, prayer is the key. Don't worry he will come around, he probably left the message so you would see it. His looking for an easy way out, don't mind him ok? God is your strength.
Don't confront him, confrontation may worsen the case for you. I will suggest you consult God genuinely, and commit the man to God as well. God will surely do wonder in the matter. If you confront the man you may end up blaming yourself, because he will tell you what you don't want to hear. I sensed the man is hooked-up by those husband snatchers through diabolical means. Don't try divorce, it will affect your children both now and in the future. It is only God that can help you out in this matter. Let share your testimony on this soon!
my FIRST QUESTION 4 U IS ,Y MUST U GO THROUGH UR HUBBY'S FONE.WELL, D DEED HAS BEEN DONE NOW,MY ONLY ADVICE 4 U IS 2 PRAY 2 God AND TALK 2 UR HUBBY...BUH IF HE STIL INSIST HE DOESNT LOVE U ANYMORE.MY DEAR,LEAVE D MARRIAGE IN GUD FAITH AND WITH UR CHILDREN NI OOOO*EYES ROLLING*Khulthy
Truth is never easy to swallow.....
My honest opinion is take a long walk while you can, while you are still young (that's if you are cos you didn't state your age) if you still want to have a happy life otherwise stay back and be subjected to a life of misery. There is no solution short of a miracle for a man who has fallen out of love with his wife, for all you know he has walked on with another woman.
It does happen dear, praya is d only key. I ve experienced that nd d pain was unbearable, i felt lik dyin bt wt praya + tears, e go beta.
you ant to know when you stopped being a good wife? He says it when you stopped loving him and started nagging. when you put on so much weight that sex became wack. when was the last time you made love to him? He says its when you made work your priority and when you decided to suspect him of cheating. You ruined your own marriage instead of building it. Finally that your new found friend that he told you that is a bad influence and you fought with him over. Madam, you can still fix it but time is running out fast. Start by talking with him and not nagging and complaining. PS He read this and he is angry like hell. so better know what to tell him tonite.
You should take a bit of time to calm down. Then try to win him back if you really want that. it may not be immediate but it will happen. Afterall he fell in love with you before.
She is lucky to have found out on time so she can be a step ahead of him. She may not divorce but she can still beat him to his own game.
we men are that way sometimes, after series of sex, we dont find anything interesting in the woman anymore especially the one u see everyday. But bear in mind that divorce is not the solution, think about ur kids, u dont want them growing up in a broken home trust me cus i coe from one. u were not meant to see what u saw on his phone i suggest u continue living like nothing happened as long as he keeps treating u well. if things start falling apart u both should see a marriage counsellor.
Maybe you need to be selfish & pay attention to yourself.
Your Guardian Angel led you. It's a good thing you read it before he surprises you with a divorce or a cheating sister sometime in the future. You should be brave and confront him, but don't be rude. Men have alot of ego. Tell him to list your faults and promise to do better if what he lists is a fault. Discuss with him if what he lists isn't a fault and ask how you and he can improve on the relationship. Above all, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. VEEERY IMPORTANT OOOO!!
Too bad for u. Keep holding on u need not confront him, continue to be d good wife u are am sure is looking for a small fault of urs to throw u out but don't give him that room. Am sure with time he will have a change of heart. Wish u luck. Dis has happened to me before am a guy.
its quite a painful discovery, however i advise u stay in ur marriage, see it as a convenant relationship beyond the love emotion and pray for your hubby. i don't think u shd confront him, some times dis things happen in the best of marriage, its like seasons which will eventually come and go. since ur hubby believes u to be a gud wife, continue to be same,he will definitely come out of this season. trust me, it happents to a lot of persons, just that in your case u found out. it is well with you dear. oo
Do not be upset.... it's a general trend most men do not love their wives... they only married due to societal pressure.... the best thing to do is to ignore it and move on as if you did not see anything; what will be will be... sebi he gives u money and takes care of his obligations, so why are u worried?
No my darling he hasn't ruined u,he jst gave u hope..your mistake was going thru his fone by every dissapointment is a blessing in disguise why not give him d space which he deserves(it's painful I know) but free him like a bird if he comes back to you that means he is yours and if he doesn't my dear please move on and face your kids don't hold on to him it will only kill u slowly.he will be surprised at what u will bcome without him..confront him and be ready to move on with your kids and job..Men are jst funny he wants to explore so let him cos he will come back begging and when he does please have him do an HIV test before u accept him back that is if u are still in love with him..I wish u well.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY!! Just catch him on a good day and tell him everything. Ask him why he has fallen out of love with you and what you can do to restore that love. If he is willing to stay in a loveless marriage, he might be willing to actually try falling in love with you again if you do all that he wants you to do. Think back to when y'all started dating and do all the things you guys used to do. Maybe along the way, you paid more attention to your kids and he did not like that.
Chei ya...sorry Eya..but I beileve the most important thing couples should do is communicate with each other..Talk to him..know where you went wrong and then try to make amends..you can tell him your grievances and he will tell you his..then both of you should go to God in prayer and seek his help..Your husband may feel he has fallen out of love with you but it may be something you do unknowingly that gets to push him away..Talk to him do all you can to make him open up to you and tell you what the problem is..You shouldn't have gone through his phone first but you should have tried talking to him when you saw he wAs becoming distant..I pray God helps you both in your marriage
Wow! Such a painful and hurting story. I'm short of any advice,but thinking deeply I feel u shd talk to him. These things happen sometimes,I mean u shd let him knw u saw his chat. Atleast that's an evidence. Pls stay strong and talk to God.
Hello lady no matter wat ur man does outside he will still come back 2his wife dnt let dat disturb u be a loving n caring woman n a gud housewife pray always 4him d both of u shld hang out wit d children dnt Eva leave ur matrimonial home
I feel your pain so dearly, the truth is that marriage in the sense of the word is a decision to commit permanently to someone you love for the rest of your life. I am proud of you and how you have kept your dignity so far, you have not cheated on your husband or done anything bad, God will honour your faithfulness to him, on the other hand marriage is sometimes an experiment to test the quality of our integrity and also to test the sincerity and honesty of our commitment. All of us are vulnerable and prone to hurt because we are human but God has a way of helping us through our frailties and vulnerabilities if we would just trust him. I personally don't know why womankind assume they are literally loved when their spouses/sex-partners make love to them ,personally speaking men are likely to have sex than make love because of their high testosterone levels while women make love to connect emotionally and bond effectively. I also think men have their emotions and thoughts in different parts of their brain while women have their thoughts and emotions together. I think your husband may still love you but lust and the devil of sin is playing with his mind hence he can't tell you to your face because you will force him to confront the demons in his lower body region. On one side he may have considered leaving you but on the other side something tells him he will regret hence he has not made the decision to leave just yet. The truth is that when a woman takes off her clothes for the man she claims to love, she means that in view of her bodily insecurities there is someone who cares and appreciates the way she is, it also means that she will feel desirable and wonderful enough to satisfy him and he is good enough to feed her passion positively. On the other hand infidelity does break the woman because she would feel robbed of what she believes is her love monopoly; in addition she would feel she is not good enough to satisfy her man. The whole story of yours almost wants to make me cry for you but only God can help you here .The only way out of this painful situation is to pray, the bible does say that a man’s spirit would sustain him in sickness, I believe that with reference to your case your spirit connected to God would see you through your emotional hurt and pain. The prayer of a righteous woman availed much. Because your mind is stayed on God, he shall keep you in perfect peace. God can still turn your husband’s heart around and bring a permanent end to his ugly, wicked and cold-hearted infidelity that appears to be eating the goodness of his mind and soul. I believe you are one in a million and you will help others like this in the future, God bless you and keep from all hurt, evil, harm and danger. The present from me to you is Psalms 139_Verse13-18
You see why they say ignorance is bliss? Anyway dear, i feel for you. Dont give him a divorce, dont even raise the issue...just pray abt it, God will heal your home and ur marriage soon..
It's sad at what you are going through presently. Don't know why it is easy for men to fall out of love than us (women). My dear, they say the best gift you can give your kids is a good marriage, so i advice you turn to God and pray that he returns back to you. Buh, when you realize he has stopped putting his family first and your life is in danger by staying in that relationship, then i beg you let him go. Your life and dat of the kids are far more important to toil with. Wish you the best in whatever decision you take and i know that God will guide you in all of this.
As much as I am itching to say 'who sent u message' I sincerly feel your pain! This is deep. My advise is wake up in the morning, look beautiful, go to work, do things and create things that make you happy, above all let him know you saw the chat without a tear drop from your eyes and walk away with a smile. It may seem like the hardest thing, but men CANNOT handle what they dish out. Prayer, Happiness and ur huge smile is your only weapon.
Confront him, buh with love... So u would know wat he wants den u 2 could see a PROFESSIONAL marriage consellor. Am not of d opinion u walk out like that! U are still grieving, u could regret d decision! 4get d 'lady ego' tin...win his luv back...Success
Get ur swag bk,hit d gym take kia of ur sef,change ur style sense,spice up ur marriage quit nagging.listen 2 him more.men love foolish women #word.dnt confront him pretend u never saw his chat.wish u luck
Finally any successful relationship should include effective communication that works very well and effective conflict resolution,A man needs to learn how to communicate with his feeling positively , so in addition to my previous comment work on this possibility and help you and your husband be better communicators and conflict resolvers, God bless you.
This is a serious one,just be prayerful,there is nothing God cannot do.it is well
Who send u message go him fone? U don c wetin ur eye find go nw mtchewww. Anyway jus put him in prayer n start doing dose tins dat attracted him 2 u, am sure must hav told u dat and try n kip urself in shape
So sad! Women go through a lot and as well, do a lot to keep their men happy but Men... Men... Men...
Let her NEVER confront her husband or say what she read from his phone. She should quietly engage him in a subtle discussion to find out why he doesn't love her like before. Let her know what the man really wants from her. But honestly, if the man has lost his interest in the wife for no reason, the love can NOT be retrieved. In that case, she should TRY and see how to go on with her life without him.
What you dont know doesnt harm you
What you know badly harms and eventually kills you
I never would look into my partners fone
Confront him so that u wil hear what he says before taking any action. Maybe he is lying u never can tell. or hav u offend him in any way ? Unknowly ? If not than there is a reason to it .
Ur story touches my heart, pls don't change ur ways,continue being a good wife and don't start telling people about it bcos they can't help.thank God he is not beating u and he is still taking care of u,am sure all will be well one day.continue praying our God liveth. Ademola
My dear just take it easy, such is life we see and hear diff things everyday,wat a frd told me is don't ever remove the worse dat can happen in anytin relating to humans.wipe Ūя̲̅ tears and make sure you discuss it wit him,he can't just fall out of love just like dat note someone else out dere is taking the beta part of him cos if nt is feelings towards you must definately remain. I know wat I went thru in mine. My own told me to the face he doesn't want the marriage anymore and he meant his words.but I thank God for everytin today,I thot dat was the end but God told me that's the begining of myself.that man can fail but he can neva fail me, am a strong and beta woman in christ jesus. Don't hide wat you saw and make sure you discuss it,nt in a harsh tone but in a way that your points are made known,also prepare your mind for the worse or the best.
Y did u go through his phone? U brought this feeling on yourself rite now...y now???!
From experience if you r suspicious your man is cheating or has changed his feelings for you then 101% he has.....
What you need to do is not look for proof rather behave in a way that u will be respected in all his shenanigans and my dear focus your emotions mainly on your God, your children and your job .......those will less likely disappoint
Try ur best to make him love u like he did bfore bt if it doesn't work u canot force love jus release him for ur own sake nd ur family
Liscious_oge
"It would have been less painful if he was cheating". This is absurd.
Alot of women will walk out from a cheating man,while this woman will prefer that her husband cheats on her rather than him say "i have fallen out of love with my wife".
Since her hasn't told her to her face that he's no longer in love with her,she should try and find out why her man has lost interest and then seek for ways to get her marriage back on track.
snooping behind ur partner iz not good tho buh its good u now knw Wots on ground, i'll advise u confront him wit d facts in a cool way(try and contain ur anger) dont Tell him u went thru his phone cos it will lead to another tin, try n knw where u failed..v u become so much of a wife dat u are no longer a friend or companion. Its good to knw how to manage d house buh it shouldn't be at the expense of being ur husband's friend... But if d problem is that he's a dog that cant keep his dick at a place den 4 ur sake leave cos staying there will hurt you d more,,its not d end of d world
Oh my goodness...this is sooo heart breaking. I have tears in my eyes... gosh!!!
Eyaaaaa....donno wat 2 say. 2 u just follow. Ur. Heart sowi dear
I don't know what your name is but please note that marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. If a man can't put on a smile on ur face another is looking for who to make smile. Just pray but if its not working pls move on.I experienced same with two kids and I have moved on with the kids solely carrying their responsibilities.
U thought he is seeing anoda woman, nd u think ur thought is wrong? Well, dont b too fast by divorcing him. Y dont u confront him nd sort out tinz whr necessary since u said u love him?
Hia we women don suffer oh
Now, this is kinda wrong I don't think this lady shld seek d advice of judgemental Nigerians..... Pls why not go to yur parents or in- laws or better still a marriage counselor..... This is jst too private n personal. MyOpinion
i advice you confront him, to hear his own side, to know what you ve done wrong and why the sudden change. their is nothing God cannot do plead, beg and pray more for the devil is against every marriage, so you need prayers and show him more love. good luck.
Hello dear,
I will say its actually a blessing that you went thru his fone and saw what u saw bcos u now have the power to start working on it. U dont have to confront him, all u need to do is revamp urself, ask urself what are the things you did that made him fall in love with u and what do u think made him fall out of love with u. If possible talk to that cousin of he's and find out exactly in what context your hubby has fallen out of love with u. Dont worry, dont let him go, try and fight and pit in some fervernt prayers and if after you've tried it doesnt still work, talk to his people, but dont let him go. Your in my prayers. :)
I don't think u should divorce him just yet . Family going thru same . Your husband is ur husband dear. Start all over . An sure he fell in love with you for a reason at the beginning rekindle That stop crying and make ur marriage work. Pele dear.
I don't think u should divorce him just yet . Family going thru same . Your husband is ur husband dear. Start all over . An sure he fell in love with you for a reason at the beginning rekindle That stop crying and make ur marriage work. Pele dear.
Wow !
I'm a new bride I just got married last month, things like this scare m̶̶̥̲̥̊̅̊e to death. Is there a perfect woman on earth??
divorce ke..my dear this is the time to go to God in prayer...dnt give room for ur marriage to collapse.search ur self well in anyway you r lacking as a wife improve..good luck to you.
Don't walk out if ur marriage love. Your husband is your husband . Work on it not easy but u have to give it a try. He fell in live with u for some reasons at the beginning so he still can . Rekindle that heat . It's been 8yrs go back to b new , show him yu still got that you he was 1nce in love with. And pray dear. Every marriage has its downslope. If u come out of it gracefully he would adore u even more.
PRAY, go on your knees and fight for your man in the spiritual and leave Linda out of it. This is a battle you can't fight on your own, divorce is not an option, especially when adultery was not involved, he hasn't ruined your life, heis just giving you an opportunity to fight for him, except you gan no love am again.
Ah oh well... Shit happens! :-)
Communicate! I'm not in favour of looking at other people's phones. Someone wanted you to see those messages so you can change. Someone doesn't want your marriage to end so you need to work on yourself and change. It's either you confront him but he may hate you for that or keep quiet, pray and do a 360 degrees change for the better.
Please do not release him from the marriage. The only thing I can think of is having a make over - change your hairstyle, spruce up your wardrobe with sexy dresses, work at being fit, try to do things differently to see if he will notice. Perhaps he is bored. Most importantly go on your kneels and pray if you are the praying kind. You can learn to do that if you are not.
Dere is alwys two sides to a story... If ur husband were to post his feelings here, we wud fil bad to. Dnt mke him luk horrible.. Go n speak wt ur manb
This is a topic i believe alot of women can relate to. Especially nowadays where people fall in love with the idea of a wedding/marriage rather than the actual union itself. My advice to you is this - PRAY. As a wife u are the backbone/support system that connects the the body(ur husband and kids) to the HEAD (God). My dear, u have been put in the position of a warrior to fight any weapon fashioned against u all. Divorce should not be an option!!! After 8 yrs??? Begin fighting for ur marriage with fasting and prayer.
Also pls my NIGERIAN women biko u ppl 2 dey slack! Y wont ur husband be talking about falling out of love wen u ppl just get so relaxed. Once u've found husband and had a few kids some ppl sexual life just DIES! CHAI! Pls that thing is a very essential aspect to keeping any marriage 2getha. Pls go and meet ur friends and tell them to teach u new/latest moves that will surprise him. LOL But in all seriousness, U comin to bed at nite looking 20 yrs older than ur actual age is understandably a complpete turn off. Get used to the idea of doing special things for your husband every now and then to show he is still ur MAN. Dont turn urself to his mother PLS. Wat is he supposed to do if u dress like his mom, cook like his mom and even begin to talk like her...dude no go dream to even come near u for fear of thunderstrike from GOD! LoL
Dis is a lesson 4 women to stop snooping around der husband's fone...bt at d same time I ll advice d woman to talk to d man so dey can work it out bt if it doesn't work dey sud just divorce n nt grow to hate eachoda
Firstly,u av made a mistake by checkin thru his fone bt since he hasnt told u himself dt he doesn't luv u nymore or he is no more interested in d marriage.u shld leave him n continue being d good wife u are n kp praying.
madam dont confront him.try to make it work again.be the woman u were when he met u.kpere!
IF U CONFRONT HIM THE REAL TRUTH WILL COME OUT.THIS TIME U WONT GO TO WORK FOR ONE MONTH AND UR HEART WILL NOT ONLY BE BROKEN BUT SHATTERED!!!
if u try all u can and it doesnt work,discuss with him about making ur marriage work as man and wife.if he is not interested,its up to u to stay or not to.we cant tell u to leave ur marital home.
goodluck!
Dey say 'wht u dont no wunt kil u'. My dea now u no,meanin...
Loads of women go thru this phrase sometimes we women are stuck bn the wife and mother to his kids we forget how to be his girlfriend and mistress. Truth be told he cld hv had any other woman he wntd but he picked u so u hv to remind him why he picked u ova the other options. U need to date ur husband all ova again be the girlfriend u once use to be, do those things u use to do when it was just two of u. Like my mother always says "A woman has to be a mother who cooks, A MISTRESS IN THE BEDROOM and a wife in public. Notice the emphasis on mistress. U need to figure out how to make ur husband fall in love with u all ova again. Gud luck
Don't give him a divorce while he has not asked for one. Your marriage needs work, talk to him but don't let him know u looked thru his phone. Ask him why he's been so distant. You marriage has a good chance of surviving and there is a reason why your husband is still staying in the marriage beyond the children. We know men who have abandoned their children and walked out on their marriage.
Don't bring up divorce, pray for God's wisdom and peace within your soul so that the holy spirit will guide you on what to say. It is well. Also search within yourself and see what areas u can make amend to better work on your marriage sometimes we blame the other party a little too much when we ourselves have a lot to deal with. God bless and restore u marriage.
B4 u start listening to stupid "a man will always fall out of love, be independent, steal his money, make ur money" advice that do not address d problem, I advice that u have a talk with ur husband. We do not know d kinds of arguments u are having. There must be some tins he tried calling ur attention to time and again dat u did not take seriously. Possibly ur marriage is filled with unhealthy arguments but u do nt notice cause he lets u win every time. A man does not fall out of love 4 no reason. U both must talk abt it. Don't give him a divorce, that only makes the decision easier for him. U can restore ur marriage if u want to. I don't tink any couple retains the same emotion throughout their marriage, there wuld b highs and lows.
aawwww sorry dear..confront him...u guys need to sort it out...
OMG! I feel ur pain. I also got a shocker like dat when I was trying to transfer some pics from his phone to mine! My dear just lay all your heartache in God's able hands. It very obvious he's having an affair and he's blinded by lust. My prayer for you is may he suffer in the hands of the other woman so he'll realise what a gem he's leaving you for. AMEN!!!
Awwwwah!I feel for you!..all I can say is still be the best wife you can be and pray about it...God has the heart of every man in his hands...
Sit him down n trash dis issue wit him,d lord is ur strength.
I'm sooo sooo sorry to hear about this my dear……. NOT!!!! r u kidding me? you are exactly what is wrong with marriage these days! how can u even think of leaving him bcos he said that to his cousin! my dear let me tell you, Love and Loyalty are 2 different things. A man can love you and still leave you and i am talking from experience. he claims not to love u anymore but he still hasnt left. he hasnt called it quits but u want to pack ur bags and "Free" him. i'm sorry but that is d dumbest thing ever and u will regret it if u do. you are a woman and as a fellow woman let me tell you that it is your responsibility to make sure that you see your marriage through till death do you part. dont mention a word of what you saw on his phone, just pretend like u never saw a thing. try to get him alone to urself for one weekend if u can. send the kids to their grandparents and give your husband the best weekend he would never forget. i'm not talking about sex here although it must be included. u dont have to do anything crazy and expensive u can just book a weekend getaway for both of u at la campagne tropicana in epe or book a nice boutique hotel on the island (i recommend wheatbaker in ikoyi) eat, drink, gist, laugh do all the things u used to b4 things got this way. then after that weekend incorporate that in your daily life with him and hope for the best. if you truly love someone, you never stop loving the person.
Hello ma'am. No, I don't think your husband has ruined your life. You've rather given us reason to believe that you've actually stopped being the good wife he used to know. The problem begins with your continued belief that you're good wife.
He had earlier judged you to be a good based on certain metrics. And now he's made a U-turn. Don't you think some of those metrics are now missing or require improvement. If you expect him to continue to judge you as good wife by old metrics, then you're missing it.
Divorce shouldn't even be an option here. The problem is, you don't believe anything is amiss from your end. I can blame you. Average lady has similar problem.
Recommended Actions:
1. Throw away that pride and feelings that you've given all it takes to be a good wife.
2. Ruminate over your relationship with. What were those metrics he used in judging you as being a good wife in the past? What were you doing then that you're no longer doing now? What are you doing now that you weren't doing then? What does expect of you that you aren't living up to? Think! Think!! Drop your ego!
3. Then pray about it.
4. Give him surprises. Do some things differently. Watch his reactions
5. If nothing changes, still don't give him the impression that you saw anything. Don't challenge him. Rather, have a heart-to-heart chat with him on his change of behaviour.
6. Don't emotions guide your decisions oh!
7. This is your chance to put your home in order.
8. Continue to love him; dont pay him back wt hate.
Best of Luck!
I am so sorry you found this out. Are you sure your husband meant it?
I say you talk to him about it. Be strong because he will use reverse psychology and ask you why you checked his phone.
Prepare yourself for what you are about to hear.
Now if it was up to me dear, if my husband has fallen out of love with me, I will ask him if he wants to try counseling to make things work. However if he doesn't want to try and he is sure he is no longer in love, them I'm sorry I will leave.
If doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you hon, it just means there's someone out there who is waiting to meet you and love you!
Remember to pray too cause its going to be tough.
However I know you will prevail. Why? Because you are a woman. We are built to prevail
Dr. Pink
Relationship Expert
TELL HER TO BE PATIENT AND PRAYERFUL. SHE SHOULD DRESS WELL, AND GROOM HERSELF PROPERLY.
SHE SHOULD NOT ACT TO CLINGY (MEN CANT STAND THAT), BUT SHOW LOVE AND BE DUTIFUL. THIS IS JUST A PASSING PHASE WHICH MOST MARRIAGES GO THROUGH SIMILAR OR NOT SIMILAR DIFFICULT TIMES. IT WILL SOON BE OVER
My dear it not the end of life. Take it to God in prayer if he is your wedded husband then u have the right to judge him in the alter of the most high God. Pls do not discuss him with your friends or family members. Discuss it with just God alone. All the best IFY
so sad.jesus continue praying to God my sister he is the decision maker wit him all tins er possible
Hey dear......don't confront him...don't let him ever knw dat u found this out...jst find a way to win his love bak...wen u start doin dat he may be surprised about ur sudden niceness...but don't let him knw...rather work towards winnin his love bak...and soon he wld begin to love u more...hope ur takin care of urself too...asin physically still attractive after 3...don't worry dear jst do these things u'll be fine and all will be well too ok.
My dear I feel ur pain bt my advice 2 u is dat its beta u confront him wit d issue since u luv him dat much talk 2 him n tel hw much u luv him d gud times ur both have spent 2geda n let him knw dat u can't live witout him especially bcos of d kids. I wish u luck.
NTOOOOH!!!! Gud for u. U had to go snooping around abi? Wen they said "Dont try this at home" on James Bond movies, u thought they were joking eh? Ur husband didn't ruin ur lyf, U did. At least he cares enuf not to have opened up to u, probably so he wouldn't break ur heart. But noooooo Jamelia Bond here had 2 try out her investigator skills. Thats the problem dese days. Ppl go out lukin for fire where there is none, n trust me if u luk hard enuf, u'll definitely find a whiff of smoke....
hmmmmmm. This is such a sad story. Their is no doubt in my mind that he's not cheating already.
Ask God to intervene. I think you should tell him. Ask hime where it all went wrong. Ask him what he want, that you don't want either of you and the kids to be unhappy for the rest of your life.
Ask yourself too. What happen? Has anything change recently? Talk to this man even if you have to leave the kids at a relative to go away for the weekend if you guys can afford it.
If that didn't work, Tell someone older that is close to both of you more of someone he respect most to intervene. Please this person must be married long enough to talk sense into him.
Do you know prayer works? Please put it in prayer and leave it to God.
God will heal you.
This is very unfortunate. While I can't give you any advice (I've realized marriage matters are far deeper than the surface), my heart does go out to you. Sending you cyber hugs. May you find comfort and resolution.
never go through a man's phone cos u def wont like wot u see. let sleeping dogs lie
Going thru ur husbands phone is d fastest way to get high bp and ur early grave.forget all u read.concentrate on ur kids.whether he is in love or out of love na him sabi.ur kkids should give u all the happiness u deserve.
Knowledge is power. No one wants to hear that their husband doesn't love them anymore, but truth is, it does happen. We as Nigerians place marriage above personal fulfillment and happiness, often to the detriment of women. I'm gonna give you my solemn advice, not in anyway religious. Attempt counseling. If it is unsuccessful, then be prepared to at least give separation a try. Easier said than done in our harsh economic climate, but you never know, maybe you were meant to do great things on your own. The end of a marriage is not the end of the world.
I'm sorry for what you are passing through . . I can only imagine!
but you have to know that it's NOT your fault. If like you said, you did everything you could to make your husband happy as a wife, and God has blessed your marriage with 3 beutiful kids; then it's NOT your fault that your husband has 'fallen out of love with you'.
Don't make him feel guilty for something you didn't do! Please this is ALL on him.
I'm sure he knows what to do to reclaim the romance in his marriage . . if he can!
Please concentarte on doing what you have been doing, live your life right, face your job, take good care of your kids!
There's really nothing much you can do otherwise!
My Dear,think of wot made him to fall in love in the first place, u nid to rekindle that,chk how u used to communicate with him, how is ur sex life with him, the way u dress, the way u treat him,do u earn more than him, do u njoy his kind of sport, wot recreational activity does he like, do u judge him over his mistakes......u know the angle am going to so u nid to think, this is not the time to cry . We women make the mistake of saying "yes am married and dat is it" not knowing that we have to always, i say always spice up our marriage, the honey moon never ends, be creative even in the things of the "bed". b in tune with fashion but dress age appropriate. i wish u all the best! One love Nigeria.
There is nothing u can do but pray fervently to GOD ALMIGHTY to change his heart cos when a man falls out of love its like beating a dead horse back to life....but with GOD all things are possible so pls get on ur knees and start praying okay for its well...i assure u he will fall back in luv with u...dnt beat urself up,just confront him in a very polite way and tell him to tell u way puts him off and dat ur willing to change and win back his luv...
Yes,confront him.u shouldn't keep dat away from him.plus u need 2 start serious prayers o! Don't listen 2 anybody dat wil tell u 2 divorce him.I wil put u in my prayers too.
Anti Linda, u don start again abi! Upload comments now
Never Never Never go thru ur mans fone.
U need 2 confront him,@ least u no wat is going wrong
Unfortunately, snooping through your partner's phone is wrong so you can't use that in honest conversation. But you said you noticed he had become distant. Use that and ask him what happened. Do not confront him, communicate.
Love can be built again you know? Talk with your hubby and hope that you can both learn to trust and be open with each other again. All the best.
You dnt have to be devastated my dear
Think of how you guys started
Think of that thing that made him fall in love with you in the first place
Try bringing it back if it has been lost
Try winning his love back
Do not confront him cos the table wud turn around and you would be at fault(men are so good @ that trust me)
Bring back that love vibe ( you know what I mean)...
Take it from there and let's see how it goes
Don't give up dear.
It is well
Chai!!! I feel like crying, cuz I feel ur pains, it is nt easy 2 be in dis suitation, just try and tk a vacation somewhere cool ur brains & pray tinz get bk normal, but if u cnt, confront him & face d outcome, den u can tk d next bold step,,.d lord is ur strength
You say "I've done everything I know how to be a good wife". Are you certain you have? So many marriages are falling apart because of one party taking the other for granted (applies to both men and women)!
My suggestion, do not confront him about the message, sit him down and find out if he is happy and if not, find a way to get him to talk about it and most inportantly, listen!!!
I'm not married buh I'll tell u.... Be really loving, be a better wife evn if it kills u, tho it mite not be ur fault he's outta love wiv u, but show him true care, then be hot and sexy as hell. Trust me he wld fall even if he isn't in love anymore.... Then take a break, a long one(this wld be more difficult on u most likely) I bet he wld miss dat woman he loved and married when he has time to fink. Don't divorce him tho.... U'll just hurt urself and ur kids.
always let sleeping dogs lie
aww sorry love - but don't worry your husband may have fallen out of love with you but he still loves you - at about 5-8yrs is the right time to feel this way - think about it after 5yrs at a job you're eager to move on - because this is marriage and for life you just have to focus on spicing up your relationship - forget the kids - your husband comes 1st - and he needs to be tend to 1st - men are like babies when they don't get the attn they need to find someone or something else - so whilst you're being the best mother you ought to be his friend - think about when you guys were dating - bring that back into your marriage , look for projects to work on , make sure he sees and knows he's your number 2 after God and then pray- infact pray 1st and don't stop - your husband loves you if he didn't he would have left - it is usually women that stays for kids not men - men will go - so my dear tears won't solve anything and there's no point confronting him because 1)you're not supposed to be going thru his phone in the 1st place - find a way to get in --goodluck hon -you've officially entered the 2nd phase of marriage - take control and don't let it control you - are you going to breakdown or breakout - choice is yours and please do it for your relationship not the kids - kids needs happy parents not miserable ones
going thru ur partner's phone. i dnt even knw if dts a gud or bad tn. *sigh*. i think u shud talk to him about it. Also ask urself wot it was dat attracted him to u and find out if u still have dat. Dont jst lie around d house doing nothing. Get busy, always look HOT! let him see d you he fell in love with. Even in marriage, dnt eva get too comfortable..be on ur toes and knw dt u have competition outside. Above all, pray about it hun. God will save ur marriage in Jesus name.
I feel your pain..cheating is unacceptable but this is worse than cheating..I think u shld talk to him about him being distant and all and hear what he has to say...only God can heal u of ur pains..no friend or family can...I've been in a similar situation and I'm just healing from the wound it left me..it is well
Don't cry so much ehh.na juju dey worry am.take it to d place of prayer,that's all.nothing pass baba God
Now I see why the Westeners,especially women,freakout at the mention of "marriage". Hmmmm. Never been scared all my life abt it until now. Yes it's wrong to tru his phon but somtimes it's good o. How wld she have found out the thruth?
Your best bet is to retrace your steps and find out when you stopped doing those things that made him fall in love with you before you got married, maybe you've become sloppy in your dressing( you couldn't care less after all you are now bearing his Mrs?)the way you admire him,cook for him treat him as the most important person in your life(which actually he is)regard less of your carrier, do you respect him and honour him in the presence of his friends and family, when was the last time you were creative in the bedroom or has the bedroom become boredom room?, when was the last time you appreciated his effort of looking after you and the children or do you take his kindness for granted? Do you make him feel his work is not as interesting or rewarding as your own? do you pick up the bills without his permission? there are so many things you might have thought no longer matter.
No amount of advice can help you if you are not willing to fight a good fight for your marriage, asking him about the message he sent t this relation is a wrong thing to do now,change your attitude towards him and then he will notice and relate a diffrent story to people around him
You are like superhopeless!I wonder y comments like ds get published in the 1st place.ds is pure nonsense!u need help....TONI
what you dont know will not kill u...
@fellingsorryteeto...what in the world are u talking about..u sound like a man who engages in such practices...
You don't need to let him know you went through his phone.
SPEAK to him all the same, talk to him about the things you're no longer comfortable with, if you both have pending issues, talk to him about it. And while at it, he just might open up Abt the things eating him up.
You need to work it out. He fell in love with you, that can happen again. You need to be patient in all of these, don't push it. Let him take his time. But communication is KEY.
ignore everyone who is saying u should confront himm....u dont wanna get beaten up do u? the fact that u even went through his phone is already bad...since u noticed that he has been distant, use that and talk to him..communicate DONT confront...u can save marriage..divorce is not the way out..if u love God, u should be determined to respect his arrangement and beautiful institution of marriage...as imperfect as u both are, try your best..
ACCEPT MY SYMPATHY,LOOK GOOD&REKINDLE THE LOVE,WOMEN NEVER CHECK YOUR MAN'S PHONE,MY BLOG-Maryjanedavidson.blogspot.com
My dear, only prayers can turn your situations to favour you. Don't divorce him except you want God 2 remain angry at you.
You are so INSECURE, why go through your husband/Wife phone or email. People like you should have such phones explode in their face. I will never DO it, just because he's my husband does not mean he has no privacy.
pastor rukevwe
On point!
So true.ma'am just try thing and I bet you he will come running for you then u remind him you saw the chat.thicker skin is all you need and build ur world around your kid.don't think of divoice.
They've said it all.. Nufin else... Wot can God not do???? NOTHING
@feelingsorry u obviously dnt hv a heart.
My husband once fell out of love with me and when i spoke to a friend about this she gave me this tips and it worked. i don't have you email address so am gonna post it bit by bits. because Linda might cut it short. And i pray it works for you.
I am perplexed!
You should be glad you didn't find out he's cheating on you, but falling out of love is fixable....just talk to him and try to make him & yourself fall in love all over again!!!!
There is still hope as long as there is NO OTHER WOMAN!!!!!
My husband once fell out of love with me and when i spoke to a friend about she gave me this tips which am gonna send to you. I don't have your email address i would have sent it directly to you so am gonna send it bits by bits. so Linda doesn't cut it short.
This is important. Take a look at what he sees, not just physically. Are you someone who he should fall in love with all over again? How do you handle yourself? When he comes home are you happy to see him? Do you do little things for him that make him happy? Do you let him enjoy things that make him happy? Physical is important too...you don't have to be a supermodel, but what was it about you that he fell in love with in the first place? It is important to still make yourself beautiful for him. Fix yourself up before he gets home. Before you climb into bed take a few minutes to make yourself look and smell good. Do you nag when he wants to do something or watch something? Sure dancing with the stars is on tonight, but so is the game. What do you think is hotter to a man? Watching you loaf on the couch watching the dancers or maybe watching you wearing a jersey making some killer nachos for the game? I understand you need to enjoy things too, but it is important to make sacrifices for him sometimes! We will go into more detail on this stuff below.
It takes time, you can't expect it to happen overnight! The more subtle the changes the more long lasting they will be. You can wow him and have a great night, but you want a great lifetime so take your time. Revamp your current game plan, don't try to do it all at once. If you don't get the wow reaction you are looking for, just be patient. He may be thinking you want something or did something. After awhile he will not be able to resist you!
On point.thumbs up!
So I am sure you have a list of things for him to do around the house, or maybe he has his own list. This can be a great oportunity for you. Impress him...do some googling on the list and see if there is anything you can fix yourself. For example... our washer recently was not draining it was going into an error mode and where you pour the softener in it wasn't draining. After a few days of waiting on him to fix it, I googled it. The repair was very simple and I did it myself. He was very impressed. Since then I have fixed many things on my own thanks to the power of the internet. I am sure there is something you can do on the list. Don't let him know you have done it until it's done. He might doubt you and tell you not to mess with it. After you have fixed it don't give him a "I fixed it cause I was tired of waiting on you" kind of attitude. Be careful not to over shoot yourself too. Don't try to repair something and end up messing it up worse. Do the research and make sure you can fix it. You can also pay attention to when he is doing things around the house and join him. Cleaning the garage, the yard, painting...dont nag him to do it. Wait until he starts then just help him out. And while your at it remember you are doing this for him, so don't have a bad attitude about it. Find times to laugh, talk, and flirt with him while completing th task. Do things he wouldn't expect. If he has something heavy to lift or gross to take care of help him out. Don't have the "I don't want t break my nail" attitude. All guys love being surprised and you coming out of your normal element to help him with a task he may have considered out of your range will for sure surprise him. Just remember to be cute about it all not annoying!
I hate when women use sex as a tool to get what they want. Sex is supposed to be an intimate thing that only the two of you share. I am not going to go into detail here. You need to remember the importance that is has on your marriage...holding out is not going to do you any favors. Initiate, don't always make him ask for it. I always hated when my husband would just ask for it instead of working for it. I found the way to make him work for it is to start the foreplay myself get him worked up enough, and trust me he will work for it. After marriage I think alot of men forget how to initiate foreplay. Give it a try. Spice it up...The same old thing can get old no matter what it is. Remember what I said about surprising him? The bedroom is a great place to surprise him! Another thing we seem to forget how to do after marriage is please the other person. Forget about yourself every once in awhile and completely focus on him in the bedroom! Oh and another thing....you don't have to just do things in the bedroom and at night (Spice it up, Surprise the heck out of him)
I believe there is nothing difficult for God to do. I want you to pray to God and ask God to renew the love in your marriage. I feel your marriage altar has lost it's potency but i can tell you this, "YOU CAN RECOVER THE SWEETNESS, LOVE, HAPPINESS AND JOY OF YOUR MARRIAGE AGAIN" just ask for the Presence of God. Before the marriage hit the rock, consult the manufacturer of LOVE (God) and He will surely help you. Start by praying together i believe you haven't done that in a while. If God's presence is lacking on your marriage altar things will go wrong. Pray together as a family, Read the book of Proverbs, Psalms and Songs of Solomon to renew your love and you will find the flowing river of God's love that is endless. God bless you
One of the best ways I find to flirt is by texting...So much of our conversation after marriage is about the kids, the house, the money. Send him a sweet or sexy text. Go ahead do it right now.... Tell him he how hot he looked this morning, or how much you cannot wait for him to come home tonight. Play a game with him this is one of my favorite.. Text him and say "You get 3 guesses and only 3 guesses.... you get 3 clues and only 3 clues, and you must guess one guess after each clue. Are you ready to play?" Once he responds that he is ready send him a clue make him guess something, either what you are wearing, a memory you shared, what you are thinking, the list is endless. Make it last though, dont send him all 3 clues at once. Make him wait for each clue. I usually go about an hour between each clue. I find texting can be fun. He can't hear the chaos of the kids in the background and it can be very flirtatious. If you don't text or he doesn't text than put a note in his car each day. Find various ways to flirt with him, make it fun. Holding your hand is not really flirting for him. You being cute with him is. Laugh at his jokes, look at him more, listen to him more.
I know it seems like it is the only way you can get him to do what you want, but think about when you were dating. He would've hung the moon for you. Once you get him to fall in love with you all over again it will be much easier than nagging. So he forgot to put his clothes in the laundry basket and left them laying on the bedroom floor. Instead of complaining about it say something like "Wow I was planning on ripping your clothes off of you tonight, it looks like someone already did" Then pick them up and put them in the basket. These flirtatious hints will kick in. And trust me he will hear what you are saying more than he hears when you nag!
Whether it's hockey, football, golf, bowling, fishing, etc. He loves it and sometimes it makes youu mad because it takes time away from you, the kids, or the house. Why not take a different approach? If he loves fishing...take him fishing. Football? Get tickets to a college game....Golf? Set up a tee time for two and let him teach you. You don't have to become his new golfing buddy, but you can take him out let him show you how to do something he enjoys. Don't be annoying about it though. If you take him fishing be ready to hook the worm yourself. Don't be all ewwww! And screaming like a girl. You have to be cute about it and show intrest in it. Me like to teach us so let him teach you. Flirt with him, don't try to be like one of the guys. Whether it's a game, fishing, or golf. Come up with a cute little challenge for the two of you. That way no matter who wins you know you will be having some fun afterwards. Also important....don't try to replace the guys! Just because you went fishing with him one doesn't mean you are his new fishing partner!
one chance. go fuck outside simple......julit say so
Either get a sitter, or if the kids are old enough tell them it's date night for mom & dad. Get them a video game or movie and pizza to keep them busy. Set up a date night in your bedroom. Light alot of candles. Sprinkle some rose pedals on the bed. Set up a small table with some cheescake and fresh strawberrie or whatever he would prefer. Have some whipped cream & chocolate for the dessert (or whatever else you can find to do with it) Buy him a rose (yes guys like roses!) Write him a love note or buy him a card. Sexy yourself up. Rent a romantic movie. Enjoy the night alone locked in your bedroom! It will be very romantic and relaxing.
Ode!!!!
That will teach you not to mess with people's phones.
Don't try to change him. You need to love him. Remember the reasons you fell in love with him. Remind yourself of the sweet things he has done or said. So maybe if you look at him right now he isn't the prince charming you expected him to be. But, that is most likely because you are just living in the day to day rut. If you break through that rut and show him some surprises. Do your part to spark that flame back up. You will see the changes in him will come naturally in the way he will look at you, talk to you, and spend time with you. Before you know it you will both be head over heels in love again. You will be the couple at the restaurant holding hands across the dinner table while staring into each others eyes. Men are different when they are in love. I am not saying they don't love us all the time, but we have them under some kind of a different spell when they are in that "in love" zone. The same goes for us too, we speak and act more freely. We are happier. I was told being in love actually releases some kind of checmical in the brain. So spend some time thinking about what you really do love about him. Do something every day to wow him! Be patient, he cannot fall back in love with you over night. Don't get frustrated, give him time and don't give up!
STOP SNOOPING, its a sign of insecurity, have you added weight, you should look after yourself and keep appealing to him. Hit the gym and look your best. Men are attracted by what they see. God help you. But quit snooping.
y did u check he's phone?why?my gurl friend keeps doing that and it very disrespectful.d worst thing u will do is to let him kw u went thru he's phone.
10 THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
Just dont do them all at once
1. Spruce up the bedroom..... Wash the bed linens, put some candles in the bedroom, find a picture of the two of you and put it by his bedside.
2. Make or order his favorite dinner.
3. Send him an email or text telling him you are thinking about him.
4. Plan to put the kids to bed early tonight so the two of you can spend more time together.
5. Clean out his car and leave him a short note and a piece of his favorite candy.
6. Buy him something, it doesn't have to be anything big. Just something to say I was thinking about you today.
7. Buy some new lingere and surprise him with it.
8. Write him a letter. You did it when you dated, take some time and sit down and pour out your heart.
9. Let him know you are proud of him. Brag on his accomplishments no matter how big or small.
10. Take the kids out of the house, make some snacks and let him have some friends over for the game.
i tired them out and it worked for me but not immediately. its gonna take sometime and prayers as well. I wish you all the best. Please divorcing him is not the solution yet.
Good Heaven! What cud be worse than this??? My dear the lot I have seen made me decide I must not get married #Pardon me. The dream of every one is to settle with a man, but in most cases it broken, so wots the point??? Alot happened to me lately and i took the hardest decision ever! I want to be alone am done with Man trouble, its difficult but i will try.
My candid advice, dnt confront him, if there are thing hes been complaining about please do them right, remember those things he admired about you before u got married, start doing them again, Love him even more, if he said u were a gud wife, become a better wife, its gonna be hard to cope knowing wot u already know, but try and pretend you didnt see it, pray to God to give you peace in the inside and the courage to scale through this bombshell, you have to this fast, before another woman takes his attention, then u ll have lil or notting to do...act Fast!
ff me on Twitter @Tweeti_Cherry
Nice 1
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