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| Amara |
They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses.
A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.
Isn’t it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever-demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won’t take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong?
Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down.
I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, “Amara, this one go send me go village.”
Another reason you are going to grow old in your father’s house is this: You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house? Work on your character, the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the places you visit and then spend time trying to find favour before God because it’s only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life.
In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour.
It is never your duty to find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing. A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you.
In the previous paragraph, I said the man should take you home to his mother. I don’t understand why you get married to a man who believes it’s just between the two of you. Read the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mothers. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn’t it surprising how many of us are married without knowing our husband’s village and his mother’s bedroom? Marriage, in the African culture, is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved.
Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities and that is not all, deal with your party and aso ebi spirit. You must also deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are.
Common girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.
I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don’t go to her for marriage or because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem and not that most of them wasted their lives in frivolities only to realise the last minute that they have to run into the church where they can get a brother to marry.
I am not trying to judge anyone’s past, but the issue is that even when they join those churches, their characters don’t change. It’s really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other.
What do have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meetings? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.
I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual.
You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working. What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotions? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it’s time to hit the dancing floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighbourhood, church and office?
This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough.
*The end*
Culled from PM News
Is this Amara for real? I find this a tad ridiculous
341 comments:
1 – 200 of 341 Newer› Newest»Linda thank you for posting this, this was what I posted on PM news in response.
My goodness, I am reeling from the shock of reading this article. In my opinion it lacks sensitivity and so much for not judging, your line about “any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are….” totally gives you away.
No true Christian would write such venomous words.
Whilst I do not disagree that these traits need working on and that attitudes of single ladies could change, this advice was not dispensed in love at all. Amara, this is very sad.
If you are a married woman, I urge you to open your heart to single women out there a bit more, yes, even the ones with “filthy asses”. Demonising them is part of the issue. Slamming the door of your good fortune in their face doesn’t help them to move any closer to their goals.
Nigeria needs to change this attitude of single women vs married women. You should support your single sisters, pray for them and encourage your brothers to do better.
As for the asking a married woman to get up from her seat issue, I hope you realise that the solution to that is very simple, the husband should be chivalrous enough to offer the lady (single or not) his seat.
Lord help the single ladies out in Nigeria, truly I feel sorry for you if this is what you have to put up with on a daily basis.
OMG..How can anyone in modern Nigeria be so parochial and so cognitively distorted???? Please this is just a rhetorical question. I am a young man and married and I feel so sad already ... I wonder how I would have felt if i were female and unmarried... I cannot waste my time typing on the ills of such warped mentality... I am just saddened that this female may have a university degree and be so backward in her thinking, and i do not mean this as an offence and to make matters worse she's got media space... My Goodness!!!!!!
This is perhaps the most stupid book ever written? what is it with African, nay, Nigerians with Marriage? so many people are out of job, broke, frustrated, and here is one frustrated and lonely lady writing about Reasons why someone is not married?? SHM...This is a absolute waste of time and print. abeg make this amara find work do..I dont even blame her, this kind of rubbish will only sell in Nigeria.....
Linda I shake my head for you if u don't see common sense in what this beautiful lady is telling you all arugbo's still in ur fathers house. Amara nuff said jare. You don talk ur own #shikena
Ah Linda, amara's article makes too much sense!! A lot of it is true-what a lot of ladies run to church for can be sorted out by just having a good attitude and looking presentable. Thumbs up to amara!
Why do u find it ridiculous Linda? If that's y u are unmarried, change ur freaking ways. Amara has spoken d truth
funny enough she just just preached the truth. it may be hard for the gals to take it in but what she just said indeed happens and she offered splendid recommendations.
Wooooow Amara...what a lovely bed time story. This Amara babe must be perfect o bcos I am sure she has never ever done anything mentioned above!!!
"....if by 30 nobody has asked if u are up for sale" lmao. GIRL BYE
Linda, how can you possibly find what amara has written ridiculous? she simply spoke the truth that is as bitter as it comes, which most single girls know, which they will not admit to before their peers because it will be seen as admission of failure but which we all know that they will privately agonize over because they know that Amara hit bulls-eye with everything she said there. Go thru magazines, you will see single babes dressed to kill, beautiful and looking every inch like angels in human form, but behind closed doors they are every man's worst nightmare!! I sincerely hope you will be broadminded enough to post every comment, whether palatable to you as blog owner or not. May God give you all understanding and humility to know the truth and accept it.
Huh. Looks to me like a lot of men deserve to be single then!
ugh, who is this person? she needs to go take a walk!
Ok, I was going to do a post on this, but I can't be bothered. What a load of tripe.
This is just too funny! I guess she had to meet up her deadline, so she decided to whip up something from her behind and give it to the public, and the editor that ok'd it na wa oh! Side note-I'm married but I think this is a load of crap! Seriously! and this from a woman?
Abeg O Leave Amara alone!! Even if you don't agree with her what she says is so true. even though i think she should have balanced the argument out and applauded the women who have tried but failed in their marriages or not married because of nasty men......
Abeg Amara WELL DONE ..i dey gbadun ya yarns jare..Linda jus dey vex cos she no go any wedding dis weekend..
Why is it ridiculous?? For the most part. she is on point! I dont believe a woman is ever 'for sale' however, many young women are guilty of the the many things she has written, its not really news but without changing those attitudes, many young ladies will hit 40 still not married.The point is if you want to get married in Nigeria (whatever you say, Nigeria is still a very conservative country)many young women will have to repackage, rebrand or have a complete attitudinal makeover!! The truth is bitter.
linda i tink u r d one who is ridiculous
like
Linda did you say a tad? Please does she live in a cave because This ABSOLUTELY OUT OF FREAKING RIDONKEYLOUS. Yes ridonkeylous. I can't even srutinize or analyse - SHE IS JUST PLAIN OUT OF THE WORLD DUMB; and talking about attitude, it is very obvious she is a great gossip and extremely judgemental with a very straight "my way" perspective about life. wat's all these ranting about. JEEZ! What a great life achievement to be married (insert sarcasm).. LMAO!
BULLSHIT!.
Wait, hol up....is she tryna say women shouldn't achieve a higher level of success so that men wouldn't be intimidated by us?oooh no she didn't!! .. bitch plz.. any man who is intimidated by a woman's success is NOT a real man ..soo cuz i'm independent and doing my thing men won't come to me....?? i'm supposed to dumb myself down in order for me to be approachable to men? she's crazy. i'm done yo...she ain't bout to get me started on here.....bye boo You need more people...
Ur title shoulda read 'why some women don't get nice guys' cause all d issues u listed dat prevents some women from being married has really not stopped some men from marrying. It's more than just d woman's attitude or her lack of contentment etc. A lot of men are so insecure & have 0 self esteem, they just need women they can control, or who will need them more than themselves. NO WOMAN who is rich, smart, successful has to be less than who she is just so a man can marry her (it's d man that has to change & thank god for d helper he has sent his way & quit being insecure)
lmaoooo,she is totally real o linda and she s saying the truth..really hurts too
nigerian ladies have imbibed western cultures which is causing a whole load of issues the indians pakistanis to an extent chinese in the uk have not allowed western values to corrupt or taint them which is why the pakistanis and indians have the lowest rate of divorce
it is clear to see which system has the highest rate of success
1.the old school way of our dad which modern nigerian ladies think is wrong
2.the new way of going about things
E ma gbawa lowo awon were yi o!
So there is something inherently wrong with you if you are still single @30?
And men are allowed to explore, while women are supposed to preserve themselves for their future husbands.
Why are we so preoccupied with getting married?
Why do our people think marriage is going to solve all their earthly problems?
Jeez!
Linda, until I got to the end and read your comments, I was wondering if you too, like nigeriafilms.com was going to start subjecting us to this Amara and her way of thinking. You should read some of her other articles. Trust me when I say you haven't read anything yet and lots of folks laud her opinions. She's entitled to them, but I don't and can't share them. I wonder if she herself is married.
This is rubbish.
My dear linda, Amara has spoken d truth. Many girls over value themselves. I'm a woman too and I knw d forming is just too muh these daysMy dear linda, Amara has spoken d truth. Many girls over value themselves. I'm a woman too and I knw d forming is just too muh these days
Some people will not like to hear it but she makes alot of sense. I just thank God for my good upbringing. It's priceless. When you aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman, you attract the right attention from the right guy.
You don't need Brazilian weaves and fake lashes to get the guy of your dreams.You don't need to chase any guy, talk less of a married one. God forbid.
I feel sorry for guys nowadays. Standards have dropped so low. A good girl is really hard to find. So many prostitutes who have such low self value and it reflects in the way they dress, talk, walk,live. A shame really.
I advice guys who are searching to pray and be patient. Remember Proverbs 31 says, 'charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is worthy of praise'.
Did she really write this mess? I hope its some sort of joke.
"I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere" Really Amara?
Aunty Amara must have been very high on 'thestupiddrug' when she came up with this garbage or simply the most unintelligent woman who ever wrote. For her own sake I hope its the later, with time the drug's stupid effect may wear off.
Madam Amara....good write up n i guess u re married so u can run ur mouth, u ve a bit of point on some women character but generalizing over 30 for being single as thier own problem is a very shallow talk...
i met my BF wen i was 28 n we bn 2geder for abt 4yrs, we luv each other to pieces, wen i clock 30 i was realy worried cos hes not poping question, i told my friend am gona leave him bt dey advise me to give him a bit of time, this year i decided to end it as am now 32.. are u saying is my fault to still be single at dis time...ofcause NO
Do u think i shld blame my BF? d answer is NO... my BF works as investment banker in london, if u ask anyone is a very crazy job sometime he stay in office for 2days,there is no time for social life but gud money n flashy cars. after 6months of break up he came back in july to beg me to take him back and explain himself,he said his feeling guilty of getting marry to me and he will not be present as a husband just bcos of his career, now he has resigned frm is job and now work as IT consultant wit NHS which is more flexible... yes hes now on low income unlike investment banking job but now we both ve time for each other and we are already planing our wedding.
madam amara am 32 and is not my fault or my bad attitude dat made me to be still single. but i believe my BF does not want me to be home decoration n be a selfish man.
i knw alot of girls of my age in london and believe me dey re nice,well educated,gud manner n dey re single but dey did not choose to be single..
maybe amara need to go back on anti depression pill, am a GP in london so i can help u out wit some pill bcos ur write up luks like a depresed patient..
Linda am gona invite u 4 my wedding ooooo....cant wait to wear yemi kosibah dress, Luv u lindaxx
Ok lets not throw the baby out with the bath water. Basically lets not throw the good out with the bad. Initially I thought Amara was being ridiculous, but as I read, realized there is some good in what she is saying.
I think it'll be easy for many to now ask "Bia Amara I hope you yourself are happily married?"
You see this is needed, before writing a column such as this, to give substance to your viewpoint.
I am a happily married lady, who thankfully got married b4 Amara's cut off age (just made it in my 29th yr) LOL But it wasnt that I hadnt been approached, but instead I knew God was working on me internally and that He was going to lead the right guy my way, so when guys came my way that seemd potentially right, I still had to prayerfully decide whether to move forward or run, and not let my goods be randomly sampled. Character is important. Faith is huge. I see Amara danced around the sex issue and didnt really address it.
There is nothing wrong with a woman dressing for success. The late Pastor Bimbo advocated that, so I disagree with that part. There is nothing wrong with a lady driving a car or living in her own place, but rather that she practices humility, and knows that there is more to life that her material possessions.
Marriage is not for small boys and girls. I really dont think a man without any income should be marrying, but I do agree it is best to marry the right husband for you, and not just some rich guy who appears to be right. There are many wives of wealthy men today (family friends), who lived in 2 bedroom flats when I was a kid, and they were just starting off.
If you dont know how to say "I am sorry", even when you are not the one at fault, then you dont need to be getting married.
Being right isnt always right. Wisdom is the key.
Amara also makes it appear that it is just the woman at fault, but truth is men also need character development, and need to have a better understanding of God and even their roles as husbands.
its more than ridiculous. she is not very wise. only 5% of the article is tru, talking abt searching urself. But wha happens when ppl that are close to you even wonder why u are not married?cos they think u wld make a very grt wife?
nonsense..........
having walked out of an extremely abusive marriage I can say that this person is talking absolute nonsense.
I hate it when people lump everyone in the same boat.
Maybe if Nigerian mothers brought up their sons properly more nigerian women would be HAPPILY married.
Its posts like this that make people stay inside a marriage that makes hell seem like disneyworld
OR MAYBE,JUST MAYBEEEEEEEEEEE EHN,You havent found the right guy????Why,if someone is unmarried,the problem is with her?This is sad coming from a woman...While you had a few points which should apply to BOTH sexes and even adolescents,kids -'dont be proud' etc its a shame you are writing all this saying that these are the reasons women are not married,asif being unmarried is some sort of plague which means there is something internally wrong with a girl???Please,I am married,but really God's time is the best.Stop pressurizing women into feeling people think this of them if they are not married (yet),or it is a taboo..Spend more time maintaining your own marriage,which funny enough I wont be surprised if its not as rosy as one would think,coming from this long condescending write up
i agree with her to some extent
As bad girls plenty, na so beta man no dey for town. In fact, good ladies are also afraid. Mostly true sha, though I disagree wit d part dat says cut or tone down good stuff, hello! If my money isn't from bed hopping then he must be a 'man' nd knw how to stay cool with it. And its really mostly attitude than spiritual.
*Yawn yawn*
What has being single got to do wit packin food and dancing? Altho ther r bits and pieces of truths sprinkled, it does sound a tad too subjective - like she wrote it with a particular person on her mind. It is overall unimpressive. And that's putting it mildly
O shut up Amara! What of the wayward men? What of the women that don't want to marry? Who told you every Nigerian woman wants to marry? It's babes like you that end up with cheating pigs and run to church crying about "but I'm a virtuous woman."
If you want to marry, you should look for a compatible partner with promise that respects you. Enjoy your youth and protect yourself. Don't tie your vag because you don't want to "ruin yourself."
Fucking Nigerian women. I can't with y'all!
I'm married and all but damn!! This amara must have deep issues. Is she a cousellor, pastor, teacher, mediator, matchmaker?? Which one? For a woman she carries around a lot of bile!
Oh great. Just what the world needs" 100 ways to find a man," written by some single high maintenance looking woman. GO FIGURE!
You find this a tad ridiculous? Then I find you a wee more tad ridiculous for having such perception of the write-up and still posting it on your blog; ofcourse, except your aim of posting it is to ridicule the writer which would be quite prejudicial of you.
It is quite obvious that the writer should have put more effort into the concord, grammar and structure of the write-up; nonetheless, I concur with the theme of the write-up.
Most (single) ladies do not know the intrinsic qualities they desire in a man, and even those who know do not set their priorities right.
Unfortunately, most of the ladies also make themselves unapproachable by always putting on earphones, pinging away their lives :-) and being in the midst of their numerous female friends... Most responsible dudes wont approach a lady in any of the above circumstances for obvious reasons...
You find this a tad ridiculous? Then I find you a wee more tad ridiculous for having such perception of the write-up and still posting it on your blog; ofcourse, except your aim of posting it is to ridicule the writer which would be quite prejudicial of you.
It is quite obvious that the writer should have put more effort into the concord, grammar and structure of the write-up; nonetheless, I concur with the theme of the write-up.
Most (single) ladies do not know the intrinsic qualities they desire in a man, and even those who know do not set their priorities right.
Unfortunately, most of the ladies also make themselves unapproachable by always putting on earphones, pinging away their lives :-) and being in the midst of their numerous female friends... Most responsible dudes wont approach a lady in any of the above circumstances for obvious reasons...
I was scared for a sec until I got to the end. I thought this was your view...thank goodness it's not.
The article has grammatical errors alone not to talk of a warped and very judgmental tone. Some people believe this, and it is fine until you try to impose this belief on people. The religious aspect is enough to turn me off, but that's me.
Hopefully no single woman takes this thing too seriously.
Lmao! So a girl should slow down her achievements because of men??
Check yourself sister are you sure you are not living your life because of men? And what do you mean "ask you if you are for sale"??
Girl! U need to slow down and stop making being "unmarried" look like a disease..
This is the height of ignorance .... I feel so sorry for the writer Amara.. She is so judgemental ..... May God grant you wisdom, cos this your narrow mindedness is very sad.... @ 30 and not married means it's either spiritual or attitudinal .......hmmmmmmm who made u the judge of the right age to marry ? People like you are bunch of hypocrites ...
As pretty as you are it's so sad that such junk can come out of your mouth.... I find this utterly ridiculous .... Smh
LOL. This lady has jokes. A myopic point of view.
So because Amara has a man she thinks she's special. She can now rub anyone's face in it. Whatever.
I find her essay contradictory and not well written. Perhaps she needs not a man buy an English teacher? Again, whatever.
Linda am with you, I didn't even finish reading it. All I will say is that there is no perfect ways to marriage.
wendu
Shut up Amara..dumb chic! it's not by force to get married so stop trying to figure out why some women are not married. face ur life!
THis bitch needs to eat a big pie of STFU!!!...In her bid to be enlightening she just succeeded in sounding dumb and condescending. She needs to check her self before she wrecks herself...Is she really for real tho?
*jaw drops, and stays dropped* she seems to know the exact reasons why all single women are unmarried, like she has it all figured out. Wow! that's all I can say...
This is utterly ridiculous.
"I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere"
- This statement right here is one of the reasons why a lot of women are in marriages they had no business going into in the first place.
"I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, “Amara, this one go send me go village.”
- If the man lacks confidence to talk to the woman because she's so successful then he has no business talking to her in the first place.
"In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour."
- What happened to the man obtaining favor from God by himself?? Is he going to be the woman's source of blessing too? And while the woman is working hard to obtain favor from God is he doing so as well?
So many things wrong with this article, it's shallow and one-sided. The way people go about acting as though marriage is the end all be all, as though women are defined by marriage, and as though a woman is the only one required to do the necessary work to make a marriage work and all the man has to do is provide financial stability is ridiculous; especially considering the fact that very few males in this generation of Nigerians can be called "MEN" in the true sense of the word.
Linda Honey the, truth is, yes some of what she said might be VERY outlandish, but most of what she said, is the truth. Think about it which ever way you want. Yes women, should aspire for the best, be an i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t woman, WORK for your OWN money, and by work I dont mean the other kind of work...jumping from one old mans cock to the next, but be a woman of character and WORK for your own money, like you Linda are doing.Then that would be understandable. I think more or less the kind of women she might be refering to, are those "big girls" made "big" by other peoples money and hard work. Have you ever seen a well dressed woman, head to toe "designer" but look at the house she comes out from..tattered. some would even starve to buy material, "In" things. its that kind of attitude that I think she meant to emphasize. if the man is not Dangote's son, he cant talk to you. Why can't some women today in our society BE their OWN person?? why must you be seen with Horse hair trailing you?? Im not saying dont look "sexy" but dress so you can gain respect! your dress does not need to be one inch away from your vagina, forget self expression. Like attracts like, you want a GOOD man, carry your self as a good woman. look down at your hands, you see the two hands that God gave YOU, put them to HONEST work to feed yourself, and even if God blesses you with a well to do man, Trust me, you will become a treasure to him, if you still use those hands, to work real money and FEED your family. Have we forgotten how our mothers used their hands, sweat, and hard labor to feed us?? but now we just want it easy...Linda on the other hand, good job on every hard work you do, because you remeber when you got your camry why you were so PROUD of it? because YOU WORKED for it,not some suga daddy.
Written with the typical "Nig married woman" arrogance. Silly write-up with even sillier anecdotes.
By the way, I'm married too...
I don't understand why women blame their fellow women for not being married. What about the men? Men are more wayward than women. Women need to come together and value each other.
You find it just a tad ridiculous? I find it so HIGHLY ridiculous I could barely finish reading it.
Admittedly, some things are true but in pieces not as a whole. What stupidity to generalize. If you are 30 and no-one has asked if you are for sale?
Where did she crawl out from? Her village where she is the village belle?
I dont see anything ridiculous here oh Linda! This is the truth albeit told without mincing words. Ok, so maybe Amara could have been a little been patronizing sha. :)
Wow! My question is whether she heard in some loud audible voice that is meant to be God's that these are the reasons that every unmarried person is unmarried?
So Amara, let me ask you, the newly widowed woman what was her sin?
Wake up girl! You are not married due to any merit of your own, your foul attitude and prideful self can testify to that. The good Lord causes it to rain on both the godly and ungodly. Get pass your ignorance.
Interesting article, but it's not a one size fits all problem.
Many people don't get married because they don't find the right person... Incidentally, the following is totally off...
"any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are."
Trophy wives have been around since time immemorial, and will remain here forever. Or do you think, they snag husbands based on their deep intellectual and moral ability?
The second to the last paragraph makes absolutely no sense at all...besides who is this person and is she for real??? cos i can't even stop laughing...Linda, abeg where did you get this kind of article from??? this one serious oh!
hmmmmmmmm... okay
na wah still don't have anything to say . hmmmmm 2. quite ridiculous - people still think like this in this century. only an insecure man would run away from a successful woman and an insecure woman who feels she needs to make her self look dumb or conform to the way an ideal woman should be just to get married .. i reserve all other comments
the writer got one thing for sure....the main problem is attitude. a lot of young women have very bad attitudes its unbelievable.
Question one: Is Aunty Amara married?
Question two: If yes to #1, is she happy?
Question three: If she's happy, is her husband happy? Or is her husband looking at other single ladies?
Finally, Aunty Amara, even though you make sense with some of what you're saying, I MUST SAY, I don't like your tone! Kilode? Yes, I see truth in what you have said... a lot of ladies have to work on their attitude, but jor ooo... Don't raise your head, and stick out your nose while pointing that out!!!
Just sounds rude.. But Let's not forget, she really has some words of wisdom in this thing that appears to be a rant from a woman who's tired of hearing other women complain about being single.
Amara spoke some mad sense. Well it's quite simple really, if anyone doubts what Amara just said, then do what U feel is right and lets see where U end up. Just know we only have one life to live, once U try your idea and it doesn't work? Then sorry, there's no going back after you cross 30.
is she talking out of experience or what? i really don't agree on some of the things she has stated. i dnt think a woman's success and d fact that she drives a big car and has a house is essentially one of the possibilities why a woman is single. men will always approach despite all odds, every man has his own taste and what he is looking for
OK ???? SO Amara I have a couple questions for you?
1) Are you single?
2) If a woman is independent and doing well in her career, she will not find a man?
My dear this is the 21st century, there are bills to pay, and the whole gender chasm is becoming invisible. If two people are contributing, life would be better. Any man afraid to approach a successful woman is either a coward or lazy.
FYI: God gives and takes.
good piece bt i dont get it wen u say a lady with a job and chains of businesses should slow down. should she stop excelling simply because some timid men are afraid to approach her and how will she send them to the village wen she is a sucess story her self? i think u got it wrong there.great men arent intimidated by a woman's wealth or fame.
Totally ridiculous, I have many wonderful friends, who are respectful, calm, hardworking, loyal, trustworth, spiritual and ready to appreciate a struggling man. Many have given up and stay in their homes only going to work and church, they are tired of disappointments, but I urge them to try and go out otherwise where will they meet their mate. This article is condesending and down right rude. Being unmarried doesn't mean you are an irresponsible money grubbing whore, neither can you miraculously change your husband's or boyfriend's financial fortunes. Why are women their own worst enemies???
ladies of dis generation una don hear am.cos after all set n done it balls back on u.i rest my caseladies of dis generation una don hear am.cos after all set n done it balls back on u.i rest my case
So what of those ladies genuinely not interested in marraige? where does that leave them? or is this amara woman trying to tell me that all naija women want to get married by fire by force? Anyways, it is this type of backward, myopic mindset that most Nigerians have that scares me about Nigerians and the reason why I can't live in Nigeria or hang around Nigerians abroad.
Biatches like her join chuvinist men in castigating their fellow women based on marital status which is not the way things should be in a civilized society where human rights including personal choices should be respected. But we are talking of Nigeria, a backward country that will never progress. Let women like her keep running their mouths. They will outlive their spouses and children and will learn the hard way not to use what God has been merciful enough to give them as a torment towards others! Just ask those women who have lost their husbands and children AFTER they had already passed child bearing age. Beware!
Like it or not, she has made some really valid points. I don't completely agree with all her assertions, but she has some really valid points I must say
Every moron wants to be a writer. I blame PM news for featuring that arrant nonsense. Amara owes every unmarried lady an apology, on her knees. She should go back to the dark ages whence she commeth from.
As in ridiculous is an understatement!
Madam Amara advice giver, with all ur plenty tips u don marry?
This is my 1st comment on this blog and I don't care if it be the last. I find it shameful that a woman would be this demeaning to her fellows. For clearity sake; I am a hapilly married man, and this helpless defeatist representation of women is not only wrong,it is shameful and annoying. Even more so comming from a woman.
If I may speak for the menfolk, I think we look at women with way more respect than this writter/woman does.
News flash Amara; a man does you no particular fevour by marrying you; often it's the other way round. Or at worst it's a two way traffic. Most households are anchored on the bread won by a woman.
The efforts made by men like me to advocate for honour and respect to the womanfolk will always meet mountainous obstacle as long as women like you keep weakening the minds we try to strenghthen.
My dear, mango is "for sale", so is creyfish. A woman is an object of reverence and beauty, created to be covetted and revered. This includes you too; so wake up and see your sisters with a bit more respect. marriage does not complete a woman, it is an optional decision to both genders.
Uzoma has said it all.....marriage does not complete a woman, it is an optional decision to both genders.
Obviously you're a narrow minded little girl with half baked ideas of what life should be. I suppose we should thank God you're not God. Sounds as though this is a statement aimed at someone who has offended you. You go seek help and leave marriage analysis to those qualified to do so.
Whaoo, This is apt and germane, to think that one among many so deceived ladies can say this truth, It blows me out of proportion, actually this is what men will only observe and never tell you, because they already know what your reactions will be,
Men will never tell you why they are not coming near you or running away from you, because the voice of your attitude speaks so loud they cannot hear what you say.
Attitudinal problems, Pride and greed keeps ladies away from the real man that will love them and show them all the care,
They want a guy that is Rich, They are painfully poor,
They want him to have a good car, they have no smoke of a Bicycle,
They want him to have a huge account but they are red and bankrupt
They were born in Ajegunle, they suddenly want a Lekki kind of Life
They want a praying man, but they sleep like a log of wood at night and complain when it is time for prayer
Some have wasted their past life in immorally destroy the womb and brings it to the innocent man of their dream
They are so vain in dress, these days you cannot tell what they call fashion, it is obviously not decency
So tell me why the men will not run
Thank you for speaking the voice of men with these words
@Anon 2:38
U are even more ridiculous than Amaka. What are u, her brother or husband?
"No responsible man wld approach a lady putting on earphones and pinging away"?? Chineke 'm oh! What rock did u crawl out from? Olumo?
So listening to music on my ipod or phones can keep me unmarried till 30! *aghast face on*!
Some pple sha have a special brand of stupid
Thank you Uzoma.
Dear Amara i think you should sit down and read what you wrote again. Yes some of it is the truth the character part but have u also thought to reason and see that some women dont want to get married,not because they dont feel the need nor because they are high maintenance but because they are comfortable with themselves.
Biko writer u said ur friend says he doesnt want his GIRLFRIENDS(WITH S) to come to the house,so your telling me i should marry a man who has girlfriends, so when i marry he would put me in the house and be frolicking outside. Abi i dont get???
Are you married*no pun intended
I do agree with some of her comments though she did generalise for all women which I dont think its true.Most naija babes too de form,a lot of them want ready made husband,not willing to grow with a guy.quite agree with her on the attitude. I think we ladies should not let anyone;society in particular define how we behave all in a bid to belong
I donot like to tone of her letter but when even a mad man speaks : pick the sense and spit the rest.
A vast majority of NIG women ( me included i am working on myself) married and unmarried have terrible attitudes...either looking down on others or rude or cause trouble.
To be honest being single is not same as being homeless...better to wait and find your bone than to rush and carry another woman's bone.
I know lots of nice single and married girls however a majority of girls especially singles are saucy, materialistic, egocentric and extremely aloof ..a man watches not how you treat him alone but how you treat his driver and the waiters. If you escape and hide your bad xter, once you marry it will show and you will soon learn the hard way.
Marriage is not by force but if you want to have kids you got to marry...and its a beautiful thing to have companionship....
No woman married or single is attractive except she has a kind and loving heart...
I think in NIG we have formed a culture of outside thn inside...flashy car-dirty house, brazillian weave- torn pant , beautiful face- bad xter etc.
Linda, I think if u were married u wld have found this a tad bit true
There is Nothing wrong with this article, there are different reasons to why people are not married and she just gave her own reason, the problem everyone is having is that she has just gone back to the traditional, African and christian values and everyone is upset and saying she is being judgmental and that this is rubbish, I am a well to do guy, soon to be a Doctor and studying outside the country so believe me when i say i'm not an illiterate but respect value, I totally agree with what she is saying. she has said noting wrong, from her comment about sex to the values of now women carry their selves. You all should stop thinking like the Caucasian race because you do not agree with what she has said, If this article was about men being the children of the devil and how they cheat and it was titled 'cheating men' or 'Men and filth' the response would be totally different and everyone would have something good to say about the writer but because she has a different opinion to give and says the truth as it is everyone is against her. at the end if you are a true christian or even a religious Muslim you would know that what she has said is totally correct and true. 90 percent of what she has said is true. And you should check yourself if you think what she has said is wrong. Peace.
Thank You Uzoma Chukwu. Thank you.
AUNTY LINDA, WHY ARE YOU DEMONISING AMARA....WE ALL KNOW IN OUR HEARTS OF HEARTS WHEN WE HEAR THA TRUTH...WE ALL AGREED IT WAS A A VERY HARSH ARTICLE BUT..THOSE ANGRY AT AMARA ARE THOSE REALLY CONCERNED...CALLS FOR SOBER REFLECTION O
IN COURTSHIP, CHARACTER COMES BEFORE SPIRITUALITY O..SO DONT GET IT TWISTED..
TRUTH IS BITTER AND I THINK IT HAS JUST TASTED AS SUCH IN LINDA'S MOUTH..PERIOD
Some guys agree with this crap, no surprise there. But the females that agree with "all" she said are just big morons. What a load of crap! If you're a guy and u diagree, thumbs up! IT's time for us women, single or not, to stand up for ourselves. Pardon me if I don't want to marry a guy who lives in a hut or worse with his mother. Rubbish! Nuff said.
@ Uzoma thanks so much for your lovely comment! Ladies take note.
this amara lady or wateva is a typical village gal is she trying to say women shouldnt be successful or wat pls she should just get real she totally just insulted women here MCHEEEEEWWWWW .she should better relocate to d village oshii
What is this woman on? Firstly the article was badly written, and, secondly, from a not-very-objective point of view. It is poor judgment to lump every woman into the same boat as desperate women waiting for some man to marry us and make us complete! WTF? I think this sanctimonious lady, if married, should concentrate her efforts on keeping her marriage instead of sitting on her high horse and writing jagbajantis. Amara, just because you're married right now doesn't mean you still can't end up growing old in your father's house. As far as I'm concerned the attitudes of BOTH men and women have to be addressed when analysing the issue of marriage.
I think this article is beyond ridiculous. How can she make such generalistic comments and tar all Nigerian women with the same ill informed brush?
How can this semi-illiterate (i say that because her grammar and sentence construction is so bad!) say that women run to church after being round the block etc, who is she to judge? God touches pple at different times in their lives,how dare she say that?!....
I married at 34, which according to her warped sense of reasoning is over the hill, but i married a correct, God fearing guy who loves and completely adores me. He has a fab job and made me the envy of my friends. I didnt marry late because of all the rubbish she put down in her stupid article, I married at that time because that is how long it took me to find the right man. While i waited, i bettered myself and have a great job and business and this didnt intimidate my husband one bit. In Gods eyes, who he wanted me to marry and at His own time, so who now is this daft Amara to say if by 30 you are not married something is wrong?
From her picture she looks hard and desperate herself and i have a funny feeling this stupid article is based on her own life experiences! It seems the standards of journalists and bloggers have really dropped in Nigeria, thanks to the likes of Aunty Amara infecting cyber space with such drivel. In her eyes she thinks, she has written one great, thought provoking piece, but let me tell you girl, this amateurish and pathetic at the very least!.
My single girls, pls dont take this rubbish to heart, continue to do your thing and the right guy will come along. Work with God and not with aunty Amara's stupid logic.
this is a very shallow opinion..#thatisall
Generally, I think Amara is high on her urine and still living under a stone.
I'm a married woman and I agree with few things Saint Amara said bordering on attitude problems of some ladies which discourage guys from coming around or marrying them.
However, I have few words for "Saint Amara", where is it stated in the bible that the "cut-off age" to get married is 30? Is marriage the ultimate?(So many are married and unhappy), people are getting divorced faster than marriages taking place. Isn't it salvation and making heaven the ultimate? Are women for sale? If she was sold out, I can tell her I wasn't and so many other married women.
It seems she's bitter towards single ladies, like its a crime to be single? Is it bad for a woman to be successful? Didn't GOD bless us equally or are men more blessed than women?
Women are truly their own enemies, as Saint Amara has clearly shown, you should rather encourrage the single ladies out there and not castigate them like its there fault they're unmarried. A lot of men these days are running away from committment, didn't she say a friend of hers will never invite any of his "girlfriends" to his house?(Its okay for a man to cheat but the lady shouldnt), and BTW, men are becoming gold-diggers too, they want a "ready made" wife.
Saint Amara needs to re-orientate herself, fine woman, no sense.
and I wont be surprised if she is her husband's punching bag.
Sisters, am a married man and i know hw singles ladies disturb me, working class and non working class, well to do and not well to do. You will see a girl that her monthly income is less than 200k to be driving an SUV and staying in 2 bedroom in Maitama, what she puts on her salary cant afford it, NOT TO TALK OF LADIES WHO EARN LESS THAN 100K a month and living the same life style. Sisters, how do u expect our brodas to come asking for your hands in marriage. What Amara is saying is 80% the truth. Remember my sisters, we are in Africa, forget about CIVILISATION, when a man wants to get married, they must surely ask and investiage about you and your past. Be wise !!! May God guide us. I love you Linda, but seek for Gods face in Marriage.
Pls how old is this amara sef? from her picture it looks like she is hitting 40. Is she married? Did someone just put a ring on her wrinkly old finger that now gives her the audacity to write such rubbish?
A totally ridiculous article.Salient questions to ask
1.must a woman be married to be fulfilled?
2.how many married woman a truly happy?
3.must a woman pretend to be less intelligent,less enterprising or be overly dependent just to snag a husband?
4.how many 'men' are really 'manly'?The fact that you have a body part called a penis does not make one a man.its in being responsible and having the ability to take care of a family morally,emotionally and financially.
Most women and i speak for myself need not someone to Lord it over them but a friend and life-companion with whom to work life's journey together.i am successful,pretty,intelligent and was married to an abusive spouse.i opted out and i am a lot happier.
This Amara that is acting all holy and righteous used to be a lagos high time runs girl. yes she is happy now and writng trash but wat happened to her marriage. now aint she single too?
Who said 30 is the cut off age to be married by? (Did I miss a memo?)
In my opinion, the pressure to be hitched by 30 along with the kind of myopic jargons spewed by Amara forces a lot of young women to marry guys that in a gazillion years shouldn't date, talk less of marry...
The onus is now on young ladies not to succumb to the pressure.
I know it's nice to have someone special in our lives but if by 30, it hasn't happened; it doesn't mean it wont happen at some point and it doesn't mean that the person's a bad person.
Ladies should remember that each person has their own life journeys and they shouldn't work with another person's schedule...
For some girls, marriage happens at 21 and it's all well and good... If at 31 it hasn't happened dont despair and DONT say yes to the next man coz you want to join the Mrs.Club ( Ask those that have married in haste, they are repenting very painfully in leisure)
So please for the love of everything you all hold dear, don't take much notice of Amara's article.
Love yourselves and don't let anyone make you feel inferior for being unmarried...
If u work hard enuf to cover yourselves in diamonds and Gucci and you want to, please do so.. Any man that has an issue with it can jump in the ocean.. The one for you would be able to handle it...
there is some truths in what she said but i disagree with her on 'the 30, for sale, and getting a man with her ass points.
any man that cannot deal with a woman's success is suffering from inferiority complex!
church babes?, i avoid them! many of them are wolves in sheep clothes!
though i agree with you on some points amara, but some men are also terrible! it's not always the women fault.
Lord, i cant believe a woman in her right senses wrote this. this is the most ridiculous write up i have ever seen. It is so so so sensless, i cant even believe it. Amara, i hope you are sha happy in your marriage.
To all the single ladies out there, abeg, dont rush into anything, forget what people say, marriage is different from dating. When you enter, you will see the real thing. Forget this Amara.
C'mon linda, so u didn't see any truth in what Amara said? And those commenting negatively too didn't see any truth?? Well the truth is bitter. Amara's post represents nothing but the truth. Thumbs up
W-H-A-T???????
So MANY things i DISAGREE with you amara!
a woman should be blamed if the man does not grow financially after marriage?
if she is not yet married at 30,it's her fault?
a woman should downplay her success, she worked hard for?
so if a woman had sex before marriage, she should not be blamed for getting an irresponsible man?
Please sister, WHAT ABOUT THE MAN? DOES HE NOT HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN ALL THIS?
I believe we all have our SEPARATE ROLES to play in a relationship.. and it's not EVERYBODY that has the desire to marry!
uzoma thanks for that. Amara guess u should be placed in the show glass since u think women re for sale. so if any guy comes our way we should just say yes and get married cos we want to submit and be humble? Gal it is a man finds a wife and get favour not a fool gets a wife and get favour. in as much as a lady should pipe low doesnt mean she should go stay with a guy in dust-bin estate at ajegunle.
Amara whoever you are, your article sounds bitter, there is no love in it therefore I feel compelled to say its not heaven inspired because God is love, so you need to check yourself to find where you get ur inspiration from.
I'll say you must be very young, which is why the bible speaks about not appointing a man that is too young to the office of a deacon because they get puffed up. You know why Amara? Because they don't have a lot of life experiences so they can only see life from one angle and I dare say are simply *ignorant* Paul did not want ignoramuses leading the church.
I also feel sorry for you because of the pride with which you boldly wrote this because of the fall that may very well come after.
Bear in mind that some of these so called sisters in Church you allude to are being pruned by their Heavenly Father because they have subjected themselves to Him. Because like when He brought the children of Israel out of Egypt, He brought them out with a great spoil. So that when He presents these ladies to their spouses, His glory can be seen for miles in their lives. Christ learned obedience by what He suffered, children who have good parents are instructed and disciplined by them to make them better. So you really need to check if your Father is indeed God.
Reading your article sounds like perhaps there is a particular single friend of yours that has upset you and is the object of your disdain or envy.
If someone asked a married couple that she had the seat before them that you mentioned (which I doubt, smells like a lie to me) then any good man would get up from the seat and allow the lady sit next to his wife or they both go find themselves somewhere else to sit. Because a person is single doesnt mean they are not entitled to enjoying a seat for which they woke up early and got to the function on time for.
It sounds almost like marriage is the only thing you have going for you and from the sounds of it - possibly not a happy one. Therefore you are jealous of your friends who are doing well in their career and actually seem to be able to hold their own.
Many married women I know have their marriage, their kids and career going for them but perhaps you missed that boat - when every one was going to school or learning a trade and paying attention you were busy waiting for a man to rescue you and now that its happened, it doesnt add up for you and you are sad and decide to vent your pain.
Anyways marriage or no marriage is not the be and end all contrary to public opinion culled from ignorance, having faith and a relationship with God and your name written in the book above is the main be all of life girl. I think at this time in your life you need to look inwards and work on yourself, ask God to take away bitterness from your heart, you are not yet ready or equipped to help others cos you are still broken yourself.
So little girl go perch on a stool somewhere and stop wasting cyberspace and magazine spaces.
And PS: whilst some single ladies may need to brush up their attitude, some married woman need to do even more on theirs. So go take out that BIG log in your eye before trying to take away the speck from anothers.
A mature christian knows how to wait on God like Job, Abraham, David.
My aunty once told me this when an archer stretches an arrow, he will stretch the one he wants to go farthest the most.
And pls enough already all this diagnosis and prognosis about people being single abeg, its not a disease. Sometimes the answer from God is wait, I am making it beautiful for you or I need to use you in your single state for my ministry
So AMARA PLS SHUT UP and I mean that in the best of ways!
Nigerians sha.
I guessd as much. Funi coments. I thank God it was a woman talkin abt her fellow women or else we wldnt av heard word.
In dt article ther is a msg and d gurls comentin on dis post av refused to c dt or acpet it. They r jus gingerin based on d chaff jist dt came alongside d msg.
Long and short,work on urslvs ladies. Dts nt to much 2 ask of y'allNigerians sha.
I guessd as much. Funi coments. I thank God it was a woman talkin abt her fellow women or else we wldnt av heard word.
In dt article ther is a msg and d gurls comentin on dis post av refused to c dt or acpet it. They r jus gingerin based on d chaff jist dt came alongside d msg.
Long and short,work on urslvs ladies. Dts nt to much 2 ask of y'all
This article could have been presented a little better ('understatement of 2011'). It is unfortunate that in every culture (Western and African et al), women are the ones who have to fix up themselves, their attitudes, the way they dress, their hair, the way they choose to dance, I could list a million other things. Cosmo/Vogue/other mags tell us to be skinny, fashionable, be a bit more daring,make an effort, be really adventurous in bed or flirty to snag a man. And then in Nigeria, you have to be Miss Holier than thou and virtuous, perfect, quiet, accepting, virgiin,marriage is the ultimate goal, If we don't have marriage offers or are not married by a certain age, we are old maidens and there is something wrong with US. It is our fault we are undesirable or unsuitable for marriage.
Yes I appreciate the fact that some women are bitchy,excessive, materialistic, shallow etc, but I can point out as many men with the same qualities.
What saddens me about this article, is a beautiful woman, with absolutely no brains, no real concept or understanding of people around her.She is living in a bubble, in a reality that maybe works for her i.e. she is married I would assume.
You talk about men in Nigeria being afraid of marrying some wayward, infertile woman. Women have fears too.
Have you thought that some women might be scared of marrying a man with no respect for the institution of marriage itself, that cheating will be part and parcel of the deal, that you become so wrapped up with the man and all he's wants, you look in the mirror and forget who you are, the fear of tying yourself to an eternity of being miserable or unhappy, to a man who can't provide for his family, to a man not fully appreciating or understanding you.
Women are beautiful creatures, not just externally, but a beautiful woman has a beautiful soul, how many Nigerian men can grasp or appreciate that fact.
Why heap unnecessary pressure on women. We need to stop shaping women to feel imperfect and men are just expected to be men, to do as they please and there will be some woman who should feel lucky to have you or have snagged you.
Amara you could have offered advice to your 'sisters', about trying something different if their current lifestyle was not yielding good results in the relationship department.
I don't know who you are, but there is some sadness and anger in your writing. You are most definitely inspired by what is around you. Maybe it angers you that you have caught your husband or some male church members, staring a bit too long at some young woman's body, someone in your eyes is slutty or fake and could do with a few more inches on her dress. Maybe you are worried that your husband might find these women attractive, more attractive than you? Just some theories I'm playing around with.
If you are christian and you feel this article was written from a place of love and you were trying to help single women, you have completely failed & alienated people.
Ask for God to give you the grace to write better, to convey the message better, to influence and persuade women that there is a better way.Ask him to free you from your societal prejudices. Try and understand that because maybe you are happily married, definitely does not make you by any means better than women who are happily or depressingly single.
Opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one and it's free.
Linda this young lady is free to her opinion, but there is no need to publicise her message, especially if you do not agree with it. People write all sorts of crap online, I try to stay away from. This lady has given little thought to her message, please kindly shield your readers from such tripe.
Much appreciated.
SMH... It heard 4 me to move bck home if dis is ow some 9ja women still think of single ladies..
Amara u sound restarted,seriously re u furking 4 real.
I wil be back In d evening probably d coment will be 200 by den LoL
Amara, your guts are boundless, your interest is sincere, your message clear and understood, your intention purposeful.
Every one has a right to an opinion, if you think this article has not done justice to its aim, thats simply your opinion.
wise single girls take clue form this piece and change for the better.
Amara, weldone for a good job.
LMAO...single ladies r pissed off by this article. Amara is right, a lot of women needs to change their attitude, if not men will use u 4 girlfriend/lover but when it comes to marriage they go somewhere else. My colleague in d office is a tigeress, small discussions turns to war n threats form her. She keeps changing churches n praying 4 husband. Now she has removed earrings sef n makes her hair only wit wool. Wit all this her physical changes her xter has not changed. I support amara write up 100%, ladies change ur attitude, some feel too big, some desperate n most lose. Limda is pissed wit d article cos obviously she's single n above 30. Some of u claim marriage is not everything, in d western world is nothing. Haha stop pretending to ursef n others. Stay put in ur church, change ur xter n attitude u will get a good man. Shekena
Kudos to Uzoma Chukwu's comment.
Also I would like to add, the Amara girl is all over the place, on one hand she hates her colleague (yes hate - nothing she wrote reflects 1 Corinthians 13) because she has a car and house & businesses, then she asks the woman to go and obtain favour from God. I wonder if she has ever read Proverbs 31 - the woman there is a hard worker, she considers a field (in this present day interprets as land, property, business) and buys it...
This girl obviously does not know her bible and if she is in any position in her church, she needs to be suspended and re-instructed in the ways of God. A christian talking about *using ur ass to get something* tell me Amara how your speech is edifying and reflects God's nature & wisdom particularly in speech.
Second, everyday single women this single women that... kilode *like that woman's song*
Is anyone addressing the men, some who suffer from acute fear to committ and will wake up one day in their 60s with no children or wife by their side as well as miss the purposes of God for them i.e. those called to marry. Or the men who married women for all the wrong reasons and are now single - though some of them actually need to go back to their wives and restore that marriage with God but are too obstinate to submit to God.
A good wife is a prize and God made it clear in his word. She is a helper, send along side to make the man's burden lighter and give him companionship on this journey of life. God was very clear and I am sure He knew the days like this will come when people will want to blame the woman for everything, reminding all that the woman she is actually a prize!
And I am sorry all this lowering your standards talk is just hogwash as far I am concerned. Many men had more opportunities than women to study, to pursue their career etc but they did not use it as well, so these are the glorious men AmaraWRONG is advocating for abi, the lazybones, the nonstarters, the squander money on play, booze, chasing women, irresponsible no gooders.
A good woman will love and cherish a good man even if he earns less than her as long as he is a *good* man & takes up his responsibility of her and the home like a man should.
Also what is wrong with a single lady buying aso-ebi and going to parties and having fun instead of staying home depressing herself for nothing. Amara you sound like a pharisee of the new testament and not like Jesus.
Like I said in my earlier post - go and perch on a stool somewhere and I hope that God Himself will open your eyes to some life lessons so that the lack of understanding and pride in which you wrote this will be addressed for your sake not mine cos you are in need of serious proper counsel and instruction.
HEAR, HEAR UZOMA CHUKWU! You are a credit to your gender!
This woman has fall my hand.
Must everyone marry?
Such unsolicited, ill informed, sanctimonious babble is usually indicative of a turmoil within.
What is Amara dealing with in her private life that has led her to vomit this absolute (and dangerous) rubbish?
This does nothing for empowering women.
If you have to force the rest of the world to see things your way then you are no better than any religious terrorist.
What even qualifies her to discuss this? Really, does she have a degree to back up her strange utterances?
An educated illiterate.
She is wrong, wrong, wrong, and her silly write-up should be seen as a cry for help.
Talk about women bringing women down.
Nonsense storybook coz this does not even qualify as an article.so a woman should leave her good job and throw her car in the lagoon coz she needs a husband?rubbish....I tot u were going to reveal one amazing secret eg"women are not married bc,they are moving away from the stupid notion that marraige defines a woman".who told you men are attracted to dummies who sit athome without any ambition?wakeup madam.well,I must say I'm disgusted and find this ridiculous.
The article is not as ridiculous as people made it to seem. and some of what she is saying is true. But it is still pretty daft.
"I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere" Seriously Amara? For sale? Were you manufactured in a factory? and who made 30 the cut off mark? Marriage is not the ultimate for heaven's sake and people need to cool down over this issue. okay so you meet a prospective buyer at let's say 28, marry him sharply and a few years later he pulls a kolade and butchers you and then what? At least you got married ba? Nonsense.
@Uzoma Chukwu,
God bless you Sir! You have spoken well. I am pleased that there are Nigerian gentlemen out there like you who have a heart and see things objectively even though most of society see things differently.
What's the problem?
Amara spoke the truth.
I know what Amara is talking about.
Too many women have rotten attitude which they inherited from their rotten environment.
This has got to be the stupidest write-up ever published... & d writer must be from d dark ages!
What nonsense!!
So bcos i want to get married, I should turn down good paying jobs & live under d bridge... Amara must be a full blown mumu 2 have written dis...
Also, since when did ladies become pomo 4 sale...
This nigerian mentality ehn...
Ladies, live ur life o & make something of it, any foolish he-goat of a man who is intimated by ur persona or financial status can like to #parkwell or go jump off a cliff, MARRIAGE is not a do or die affair... Its better 2 remain single than end up in an unhappy marriage...
#shikena!
I have just one question. What of those ladies that seriously do not want to get married? Is amara aware that such ladies exist?
ERRRRR....ONE QUESTION AMARA... SO, THE WOMEN THAT ARE MARRIED NOW R MORE HOLY OR WITH BETTER ATTITUDE THAN THE SINGLE ONES?! MTSHEEEEW!! UTTER RUBBISH U AVE WRITTEN IF I MAY SAY! I AM SINGLE AND WT A BETTER ATTITUDE THAN A MARRIED FRIEND OF MINE (MARRIED FOR OVER 10 YRS WT 2 KIDS), SHE IS LOVELY AND I LOVE HER TO BITS...BUT SHE FROLICKS ABOUT FROM ONE PARTY TO ANOTHER.HELL, I DONT EVEN PARTY A QUARTER OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES SHE DOES!!!! AND I WONT JUST GO INTO THE THINGS SHE WEARS....SMH!!!!I AVE TRIED SEVERALLY TO TALK TO HER BOUT ALL THESE BUT I LOOK LIKE A FOOL DOING SO COS SHE HAS A HUSBAND, KIDS, A LOVELY HOUSE IN VGC, CARS...I AVE NONE! HER HUSBAND DONT GIVE A FLYING FIG WHAT SHE DOES AND LETS HER DO HER THING.SO, THEIR MARRIAGE IS WORKING OUT FOR DEM IRRESPECTIVE OF THAT! GOING BY UR "ANALYSIS", WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MARRIED ONE BETWEEN SHE AND I???!!!!!
LIFE IS WHAT IT IS! THERE IS NO GENERALISATION IN THE "REASONS YOU ARE NOT MARRIED"!!!!! WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MIGHT NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER!!! ENOUGH OF THIS MARRIED VS SINGLE BULL**** THERE ARE LOTS OF SINGLE LADIES WT GOOD ATTITITUDE OUT THERE. JUST AS THERE ARE LOTS OF MARRIED WOMEN WT BAD ATTITUDE....VICE-VERSA.
This Amara lady has taken women liberation and Feminism a 100 years back! She has verbal diarrhea. Someone please lock her up and ensure she never has access to pen and paper again.
My mother always told me to strive, be ambitious and work hard for anything i want. Any man who is not comfortable with my ambition and success doesn't deserve me and in Gods time he would bring a wonderful man my way.
I live in Lagos and the in thing for guys is to play on women's need to be accepted in society and get married by scamming them.
The worst part of this whole thing is that the discrimination of single women is so rampant and it comes mainly from our own fellow women. They are so judgmental! I have never been envious of my married friends because most of them rushed into marriage and are suffering all sorts of indignities in silence.
An elderly lady in the family once told me that i had to show respect to a much younger lady because she was married and i was not! This rubbish has got to stop!
So many gals here are in denial in their comments. Ask yourself, why are you not married yet at 30? When you do that, you'll see amara's point for what it is.....the truth.
Hello miss amara, u are correct about ladies
changing their attituide. Have u heard of MDG-3
"Milleniun devpt goal", plz google it.
We are talking of women empowerment & u are
criticizing A̶̲̥̅ lady achieving alot. Am of
d opinion dat both sexes should work on
their characters. As for u: u are so
unfamiliar wit d words diplomacy/reservation/
counselling. We are all entitled to our opinions
but can't play d "God factor" judging odas.
NB: every living single lady ڪ better dan d late titi
(RIP) whom d husband killed.
things fall apart they say,the most effective medicine's r the bitter one's...Ladies dnt get angry over instead look out for the things she has said n u r guilty of n fix it n no body will know.this is the best stuff i've read in a long time now.well done Linda
All the commentators on this blog have not read anything yet. Please go to THisDAY Live, there is one (Mrs) Kassim that makes fun of young unmarried women and comments are never published because she is a Church Pastor. She blames women for not getting married. LMAO!
Im a feminist and such topics make me crazy, espacially when a Lady who is supposed to be role model in this 21st century reasons like this, sorry am nt insulting , but let me tell a story, a lady i know had a job in shell, well paid, leaving in her house, but d mum said my daughter if u buy a car men will run away n she heard her, pilled up millions in account and will attach her self to a colleague to take her to work, unfortunately, she had an accident on okada n broke her femur n was hospitalized 4 1yr, ,,,,so MRS Amara tell me is it a sin to be succesful, n wat makes u think dat as a married woman u cant be single d next day.Why wud a married woman take a single girls seat without her concent or marriage is nw a tag to take people's thing by force, wat is wrong with a lady dancing in a party if she wants to catch fun,must she pretend to get married.....u hv just explained in summary dat to marry u must be pretend a lot, dat is why homes re breaking bc d man will later discover your drinking n partying habit when u re married to him....PLS i ask, is marriage a sort of achievement?..pls amara thank God u re a christian, hv u not seen barren Virgins before, even ones married at a tender age...hv u nt seen women who hv lost their abortion counts having 6 babies, pls im highly disappionted, being single is it a female status alone, re men nt single at 50.....pls ladies in d house seek d face of God and wait patiently for him, work hard n earn a living bc dats d bum.
There was a woman in our former neighbourhood. She used to laugh at single girls. When her husband died, she had to hid her face in the backyard because he was all she had to show off.
Another one was told to pray so that she would not lose her husband and she laughed at the pastor and the prediction. She said, "My husband can never do that to me".
Five years later, her husband called her and gave her an hour to move all her belongings to the BQ or pack out because he wanted to marry the house girl. It was too funny. Amara will get her portion one day. As they say: PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL!
There are 2 sides to a coin and in dis case man and women.. the reason am surprised at the piece is because it was written by a woman.
The points are valid but not in all cases..
We all set standards and targets for ourselves most of which can only be achieved in books and if there are achieve they are rarity. we look at the irrelevant things ..for men beauty , sexy etc , for women… rich handsome etc without having in mind think about the inner person.
I applaud her for having the courage to write such a piece and been open to what she has seen and observe. Her points are not frictional but real life cases and I have seen and even discussed with ladies on reason why they got married late and still had the same conclusion as she has.
Once again the fault can be from either sex but the true fact is we should pray for a spouse, we should be sincere and truthful to God why we want sure person only then can we get the right person otherwise we settle for less or remain single, we cannot be perfect but 2 individuals can be perfect for each other.
The 'new' wife of Deeper Life overseer got married at 65. Mrs Amara-the-fool, was it the woman's fault? Amara should apologize to readers for such a foolhardy article.
Mrs Esther Kumuyi of Deeper Life Church should reply Amara for us. Amara, please go back to school for refresher courses. You are outdated.
What is all these talk about marriage sef? What is so enjoyable there, apart from the sex? That sef, some don't get! Is it the insults from men and in-laws or what? If pre-marital sex was not a sin, many women would gladly remain single and decide to have just a kid! mschew!
Amara there are few truths in your write-up but plenty un-truths. You presented men as 'gods'! which are to be 'worshiped/ served' by women!
am sure if the article was written by a man criticising men i know we would not have so much spitful, bitter comments with what is seen here.when men are accused as cheats we accept because we know we are and truthful to ourselves and thats the difference between us, her points do not cut across every single lady but a gd sizeable amount.
Ladies take the criticism dont agree but dont discard it because these might be the reason why our friends, relations or even ourselves are not married.
Naija women,wake up and smell the coffee.Pick what is wrong with ur attitude here and move on with ur lives.Amara has just put up her opinion and so should u.Stop being derogatory and insultive.
Linda why art thou shocked?Some women have attitudes that stink and want the best of men...God isn't an unkind God....u cant attract what ur not,u cant give wat u don't have.
Half or even more of the women criticising this article are most likely unmarried.....work on ur ways and stop lying to urself......
To all these angry women that can't handle the truth, please get a grip, truth is bitter but sometimes need to be told. Bad attitude can delay some single girl from getting married and married women to keep their homes. Age has nothing to do with marriage, women need to humble themselves and always pray for a God fearing man not the right man, because there is nothing like the right man. The man you called the right can change along the line and you start to ask yourself what went wrong.
There are 2 sides to a coin and in dis case man and women.. the reason am surprised at the piece is because it was written by a woman.
The points are valid but not in all cases..
We all set standards and targets for ourselves most of which can only be achieved in books and if there are achieve they are rarity. we look at the irrelevant things ..for men beauty , sexy etc , for women… rich handsome etc without having in mind think about the inner person.
I applaud her for having the courage to write such a piece and been open to what she has seen and observe. Her points are not frictional but real life cases and I have seen and even discussed with ladies on reason why they got married late and still had the same conclusion as she has.
Once again the fault can be from either sex but the true fact is we should pray for a spouse, we should be sincere and truthful to God why we want sure person only then can we get the right person otherwise we settle for less or remain single, we cannot be perfect but 2 individuals can be perfect for each other
linda for me that you are not married at age 35 is your own fault....
sorry i have to say that but that is the truth......
the longer u are not married....the more when u are married u are giving ur husband the room to cheat...because you will soon loose ur youth power...
all amara has said is nothing but the truth
Amara Blessing Nwosu is real, and sometimes i dont undertsand her teachings cause its awkward, pity those who visit her for counselling
One word...Barmy!! This girl is so daft, I don't even know where to begin! I'm sure she's busy patting herself on the back for writing, what she thinks, is an insightful article. Epic fail but whatever floats her boat, I guess. Unfortunately, there are people who buy into this type of drivel which makes me despair for my country. Sigh.... She has succeeded though in getting her 15 minutes of fame so good on her. Next!!
Oh and when did "Come on" become the same as "common". They seem to have become interchangeable in Nigeria. Just saying...
It such a shame that Amara write up has upset people. Goes to show how badly standards have dropped within the Nigerian community.
Truth hurts. If someone was God fearing I can't see how they would be offending by what is obviously the truth.
Many people in here need repentance and change! WOW!
I can't help but wonder if the supporters are married, and non supporters are unmarried. No need to attack her. I don't think she is claiming that this is FACT, and if she is I don't see any scientific evidence behind it! It is certainly her opinion and she is entitled to it; though I disagree completely!
I think it just comes down to statistics there are more men than women. Period! If you look at the Chinese they have the opposite problem, a lot of single men! Maybe Naija women should seek out Chinese men. :-) LOL!
Marriage like any other partnership in life is something one has to seek God for before embarking on.
If God no send you there or no approve, you are on your own. The risks are too much. ( all sorts of things can go wrong)
When God commands a blessing upon your life he doesnt need your help, your past, your future or your present.
Right standing with God determines the fruit you bear - nothing to do with driving a posh car or not, dressing well or shabily, smelling nice or like stella pomade, liking the lovely things of life or not.
This article is very carnal and even went to the extent of roping in a well known singer in church. Amara???? Maybe you are comparing your mistakes and successes and decided to air it for all to see, dont go judging other people and generalizing. Your article is very carnal and so has 0% rating of a good article from me.
There are a wide range of reasons why women are no married. There is also a wide range of reasons why men are not married. Wide range of reasons married couples have no kids, Wide range of reasons people get married and then resent each other, Wide range of reasons why marriage is like prison and hell for some couples, wide range of reason why people should not get married in the first place, Wide range of reasons why married men and women who seem well suited for each other have affairs whilst married and carry on as normal, Wide range of reason why most children in most marriages dont belong to the men in the house.
Do you want to discuss reason why the world is the way it is. Amara you do not have the answers. People make loads of mistakes in life and bounce back from it and move on and live successful lives.
There are daughters of Eve who do all the right things, no spiritual bondage, no reckless living and all the so called negatives in your book but are still single, do you have the answers??? I am ready to debate with you on any forum and come with your particulars and I will do serious Vetting( past and present life vetting) to see what sort of life you lived and what gave you right to generalize without doing a proper grounded research to arrive at such conclusions!!!!
I AM DISSAPOINTED WITH LINDA FOR THESE PARTICULAR BLOG....
WHAT IS LINDA'S MOTIVE FOR BLOGGING AMARA'S ARTICLE?
EVEN IF AMARA HAS MADE MISTAKE, CANT LINDA REACH OUT TO HER LIKE A MATURED WOMAN SHE THINKS SHE IS SO THEY CAN SIT AND DISCUSS? IT COULD BE A SUBJECT OF DEBATE OVER COFFEE, LUNCH OR WHATEVER...THATS HOW U AGREE TO DISSAGREE AND MAKE FRIENDS...
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME THERE IS NO TRUTH IN SOME OF WHAT SHE SAID?
I THINK PEOPLE ARE ANGRY COS AMARA HAS STRUCK A CHORD? AMAKA JUST WROTE SOME PEOPLES AUTOBIOGRAPHY INCLUDING LINDA'S..
LINDA, DID AMAKA SINGLE YOU OUT OR HAD U IN MIND WHEN SHE WAS WRITING THE ARTICLE? I DIDNT THINK SO...THEN WHY DID U CALL HER OUT?
I THINK LINDA HAS MADE AN ENEMY IN AMARA FOR THIS PARTICULAR POST....WRITING HER NAME WAS NOT ENOUGH, YOU EVEN WENT AS FAR AS PASTING HER PICTURE...I SINCERELY BELIEVE LINDA HAS HUNG AMAKA OUT TO DRY IN THE NAME OF INTERNET TRAFFIC...U GOT IT WRONG WITH THIS ONE
Yes ppl have to work on their character but to write something like this is obvious that a particular single lady pissed her off. I am sorry but dont use your personal beef with someone to generalize women that are not maried. God's time is the best not Amara's!!!!!!!!!
Amara is a Very foolish person.
i didnt finish reading the whole article.. just read few paragraphs and all i can say is BS (BULLSHIT).. LIKE SERIOUSLY, most of our parents today are not happy in their homes. they married their husbands when he had nothing and now that God has blessed them, wat do they do? the treat like wives like trash and run after young ladies.. so tell me y the FUCK will i marry a BROKE ASS NIGGA,... like KANYE WEST said " i AINT A GOLD DIGGER, CAN JUS MESS WITH A BROKE ASS NIIGA..
plus dese days, who shuld be scared of marrying? isnt it gals? do u no wat the guys have done in their youths? do u know wether he is bin CURSED?
to round my tots, if a man really likes u, even is ur womb is spoilt, he shud still STAY WITH/BY U, datz y i like OYINBO PPLE
BTW, its not everyone dat has womb dat gives birth....
*not sure if i GBAGAUN, i was rili into this article
I agree with Amara. Amara is 100% right. If you don't agree with Amara on this topic, you're heading straight to hell.
From my point of view,I'd probably not want to chat up a lady who's glued to her fone or have earphones on cuz that's a way of saying, "don't bug me!". However, I'd say amara needs 2work on the tone of her article. Kinda too harsh and unprofessional. My view
From my point of view,I'd probably not want to chat up a lady who's glued to her fone or have earphones on cuz that's a way of saying, "don't bug me!". However, I'd say amara needs 2work on the tone of her article. Kinda too harsh and unprofessional. My view
Wld Amara in al honesty say she hs nt noticd dt its d women wit d wors attitude dt marry d sharpest men?And very fast too.
Al d runs chics dt I grad wit married whil in skul...D singl ones ar presently engaged...each 2 2men.Just in case guy no1 fucks up.
Abeg,jus shut up.
I hv loads of friends who ar xtra niz,xtra generous,untouchd...and they al want a man they can grow wit.
Al they get is men who promis 2wait until marriag thn turn around d nxt day 2try 2force thm/wors cheat on thm.
Abeg,Amara go pack one side.
PS:Im 22.Hv 8mur years 2 ur deadline.So Im nt cloz 2bein in denial/any such crap.Wld Amara in al honesty say she hs nt noticd dt its d women wit d wors attitude dt marry d sharpest men?And very fast too.
Al d runs chics dt I grad wit married whil in skul...D singl ones ar presently engaged...each 2 2men.Just in case guy no1 fucks up.
Abeg,jus shut up.
I hv loads of friends who ar xtra niz,xtra generous,untouchd...and they al want a man they can grow wit.
Al they get is men who promis 2wait until marriag thn turn around d nxt day 2try 2force thm/wors cheat on thm.
Abeg,Amara go pack one side.
PS:Im 22.Hv 8mur years 2 ur deadline.So Im nt cloz 2bein in denial/any such crap.
Well done Amara. You speak well. The reason you are being criticized is becoz you spoke in plain language...you said it as it is....Thanks for being candid...it will surely help somebody out there to change their lives...Dont be discourage everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
This Amara's attitude in adressing single Ladies sorta reminds me of Amber Rose trying to be a role model to kids... NOBODY WILL LISTEN TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IF U HAVENT ADDRESSED UR OWN ISSUES AND ATTITUDE FIRST.
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT AUTHORITY SHE HAS TO DISH OUT DIS AMOUNT OF DISRESPECT TO HER OWN KIND. THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT AMARA IS A SEEKER AND PURSUER OF GOSSIP, TROUBLE N EVERYTHING IN BTW...(seeing as u have time to be observing sisters in church who r rushing for food n all other irrelevant stuff)
Can we all do wit better attitudes- YES indeed, but on dat list of those in need U Amara will be first cos ur Attitude sucks!!!
And for the miscreants attacking Linda, u're just as silly too... This article is beyond ridiculous or as one person earlier put it...RIDONKEYLOUS!
I know many women, myself included trying to keep head above water, trying to forge a life for ourselves while we let God do wat he has to for us to be better...At 26 I have a very fine rship going and am trying to set my career on track too, I plan on getting my business going before I settle down... For now I focus on wats important n dats giving n recieving love, having peace in my life n being the best I can each day...and certainly not being a source of Angst to others. Marriage is God's plan for us and there r no hard n fast rules to it, the things u listed here r even some of the things that have been attractions btw some married couples, and here's the funny bit they r still happily married... of course many tone down after marriage, but the fact is SOMETIMES WAT U PERCIEVE AS THE TURN OFF OFTEN TURNS OUT TO BE THE CAUSE OF THE ATTRACTION- ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PERSON WHO'S ATTRACTED TO U BECOMES THE VESSEL OF CHANGE IN UR LIFE...We humans can never know how God works and thats why we r quick too judge. Our only duty is to stay open-minded n stay in touch with him always, only den can we know wen he is at work!
Abeg my story don too long sef..totally unplanned...SORRY!!
My own analysis.
Not married before 30 = probably waiting for a better offer, made mistakes, got used and dumped and deceived or made wrong decisions.
Between 18 and 23, many ( funny, cute, ugleey,young/old men are asking for your hand in marriage but you think there is a better offer and life to see first.(education usually takes precedence). Generally age range of more discovery!
Between 15 and 17 - Discovering your 'womanness' and wondering what is out there.
25 - 30 = the likely years to make the wrong choices because the clock is ticking quicker than previous years.
30 - 35 = The new 25- 30. Most girls are now established and looking for life partners, some more relaxed than others. Some actually enjoying this time of their lives, especially the ones with no health issues!!! Inferitlity no longer exists cos of age cos women below 30 are now experiencing worse issues that over 30s.
In between all of these, there are different circumstances et al.
If y'all think, you can all relate in some way to these age ranges and differing circumtances, maybe not exactly the same but close.
There is now a new generation learning from the 'older' generation, get married before 23, have kids before 26, body still tight and bounced back before 30 if well disciplined.
I can relate and i have a couple of 'guys who got away' but grateful my boo ticks my boxes thankfully.
My own 25p worth 25million contribution.
7 GUYS AND LADIES U SHOULD NEVER MARRY
http://tinyurl.com/69xbkk5xbkk5
7 GUYS AND LADIES U SHOULD NEVER MARRY
http://tinyurl.com/69xbkk5
Somfins she said(amara)made sense, but some are just bogus!!! Some women Ð☺N̤̈̊'t wanna grow wiv α̲̅ man, all some Wα̲̅nt is α̲̅ ready made home! But there's nuffin wrong in pursuing ur goals, α̲̅ man who would luv Ʊ will. Ϊt§ all in GΦd's hands.
Somfins she said(amara)made sense, but some are just bogus!!! Some women Ð☺N̤̈̊'t wanna grow wiv α̲̅ man, all some Wα̲̅nt is α̲̅ ready made home! But there's nuffin wrong in pursuing ur goals, α̲̅ man who would luv Ʊ will. Ϊt§ all in GΦd's hands.
All in can see here is ATTITUDINAL PROBLEM which i know most NIGerian gals have apart from dat odas are rubbish. BTW marriage is an individual choice no be by force.......Coming from a guy in his early 20s, too bad i got more knowledge dan dis bitch
lmao..and you wonder why the likes of Titi Arowolow had to die by matchete in her husband's house abi and her husband is still walking around a free man? this mentality alone will make person condone abuse, cheating and all sort of dishonor just to stay married. awon were dede! Amara...it will not be peaceful with you. It's sunday morning and i am a single 34 yr old woman. i am single not for any of the reasons u stated and for this write up i am deeply saddened. because i read ur article and i opens old wounds in my heart, that's why i curse you that it will not be well with you for making this blanket statement. you are a jar of sadness and what you've disshed i pray will come back to be whta yoiu recieved. omo ale
Wow!!!!! I am gutted... In as much as I agree with some of the stuff written, I am afraid it is absolutely wrong to generalise. Some of the stuff are utter rubbish and bullcrap.
Who made her the judge of those not married @ 30....That is why so many marriages are failing, marrying the wrong person cos of societal pressure. Remember that it is not of him that wills of him that runs but of God that showeth mercy.
I read her religiously on PM News but i don't always agree with her. On this one, her views are too stereotypical and idiotic.
Please read her articles on PM News online and you will know this lady has issues.
A lot of times she sounds very bitter in her musings. Kind of like life has dealt her a bad blow.
She's a widow BTW.
Uzoma; i salute you.
thank you Uzoma Chukwu ...may God be your own cloth of shame too in jesus name. I swear i am reading this buffon's Amara's jargon and wondering wow...so a man is a favor to a woman whereas the bible says he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the lord. it is well my brother. its cos of guys like you that some men are still waiting hoping they will find their boaz. Amara...hmmm, you are a bitter and anger and jealousy fillled woman. you are just mad and jealous that your single friends have something you, who are married doesnt have. my married friends do it all the time and i ask them why my accomplishment has to be downplayed each time but instead,my single status gets hammered on constantly. it is jealousy and envy laced with self hate. u see a female bank md and instead of giving her props for ataining such status in life, the first u say is "she is single o" may God shame everyone that disguises their mockery with empathy. Amen.
The problem with Amara's statement is that it is not well structured,it looked like she was ranting about her friends,there are lazy guys in nig who likes to date posh chics so they drive Gclass,live in banana island,guys likes to date a "big girls" and they don't care where they get the money from,I don't blame girls in the sense that some are fending for themselves while some are greedy,if a man likes you and wants to date or marry you,there are certain attributes they want in you which does not guarantee you wedding,in some cases guys with just Secondary certificate wants to get married to a medical Dr,I have tried dating the low,medium and high,their mentality r the same,the want "Mary" when they are not near Joseph,ladies hv scarified a lot for guys,they still dump them,getting married is not beginning of success or achievements,what matters is what we have achieved on earth,lives we hv touched,to all the singles ladies,your time will come,to the married ones,God's mercy n grace will not depart from your home,do the right thing.
@Anoymous 11.19 Sept 25th
Would you pls shut up your mouth! There are so many so called married women with a dirty attitude - u r probably one of them and yet they are married. Wicked women with husbands like Jezebel - remember her, the most wicked woman recorded in the bible wasn't single, she was married, the second most wicked - was married - first to one brother and then to the other brother whilst the first husband brother was still alive - Herod's wife.
Some of you, you have nothing going for you and I mean nothing, because anyone without God has nothing and I don't see any God in your evil and nasty comments. So all of a sudden u get annoyed at the beautiful girl, nice job, nice car, house, people like her because the only thing you think you can find about her is - aha she is single, so you try to exploit that, I can see right through you.
So many good men have married the most awful of women - so being unmarried is not always about your attitude neither is being married always about your attitude either!
Only an idle, lonely, judgmental, pathetic, bitter married woman will write such nonsense, but then who am I to judge, as Amara, could be a stark, raving, mad lady 4 all I know. As a true christian, if u choose to give advice to single ladies (who by her standards are lesser mortals thanks to their unrighteousness), I doubt such bitterness will convey any message, if any.
The only reason she is married (if indeed she is i.e) is because of God's unmerited favour, love, grace & mercy and not because of her righteousness which is a filthy rag before the Lord.
I feel great sadness for her family & friends, life must be difficult for them lol, because for someone whose name is Amara (Grace), I am disappointed.
I wonder, what she'd say about the men who woo & marry wealthy ladies & sit around doing nothing for the rest of their lives or the men who are intimidated by successful women (oh! She's fond of them lol).
Anyways, she's expressed herself, so single ladies can pick the few good words & learn or totally ignore the rantings of a sad lonely lady.
Oh, yeah, I'm also entitled to my opinion, since married women are now experts/specialists on "Reasons you are not married". This cracked me up I must say! =))
I didn't marry till 33, I lived in a 'posh' flat, drove a posh car and had a driver and thank God I ignored all the people like madam Amara who kept saying ' tone it down like I was supposed to be ashamed of my success? My husband saw me and loved the fact that I was independent and hardworking and therefore I'd be an asset not a liability.
You can't use a cookie cutter approach to life and then look down on those who don't achieve YOUR goals in YOUR own created timeframes. Not everyone desires to marry at 30 or at all for that matter.
As someone pointed out being single is not a disease and everyone's journey is different. There are people who married early, and their husbands turned out to be gay, wife beaters or serial cheats - so what is their consolation? That they married early or didn't have success to flaunt? There's too much wrong with this article that whatever 'good points' was in it has been overshadowed.
Is what Amara said the reason why most women are not married? Most of those 'runs girls' marry o! Cos they know how to arrange themselves. Not every woman will be married. Even the bible says so and its not cos women are wayward o! Lets even look at our population... Are there equal number of men and women in Nigeria? How then will every woman be paired with a man?
Amara is just an ignoramus!!!! Arrant nonsense!!
She's 80% on point..she's obviously not dressing it up for anyone's consumption..tho she's obviously writing from things her eligible male colleagues may have mentioned to her..
People don't even know what Relationships are about..should primarily be about the bond btw man and woman..then the rest falls into place..easy!!..are we surprised when you go for the aesthetics first and then get divorced within a year!!..u heard the term Irreconcilable differences..go figure
That strong Indepedent woman thing is so contradictory and laughable..u ever heard a man utter those words??..even Beyonce that sang that bit of tripe..is married and pregnant..and still SUCCESSFUL..
As someone said Chinese and Indian/Pakistani women as a Collective are some of the most accomplished women you would ever meet but still manage to get it together..home and work balance...Caribbean/US Blacks women we can excuse 'cos of their ancestry that damaged male/female relations..but 9ja's what's our excuse???..
Some of this girls/women want the world and they not even all that..in character/beauty/upbringing...
Don't think any reasonably educated/accomplished man is scared of stepping up to any woman..when I approach a woman I look at her poise...all i see is what i like..don't care what she does..it's not like she has her job tattoed to her forehead..
I think young men today have no qualms with the woman earning more or even helping him fulfil his dreams..tho women might be scared to take that risk..
The Age 30 is circumstantial ...for men most concerns are not to do with biological age per se but FERTILITY problems..later on
Let's not fool ourselves everybody craves companionship..unless you sort of dysfunctional.... a sex freak..lesbian or got some issues with men 'cos of..rape..child abuse..etc..
The write up..like a Menu..u take what you want from it and leave the rest..but can't honestly say all the food on the menu is bad!!
It's funny how a lot of you women turned verbally abusive, with profane words. Women of these days, just too low class.
Judgemental, insensitive, selfish,myopic analysis of the Nigerian Female specie.
No one has all the answers. The marriage issue is NOT only in Nigeria!!!!!!!!
Which one of them is you Amara. Surely for you to kinda see all these people and recognise them as losers, you must be describing yourself and probly managed to get hitched and climbed the high horse and start screaming off with their heads, 'all single ladies are hopeless,wombless, selfish, fake christains, unnecessarily successful, no reason to live as their life is over, back to the kitchen, no need to get an education, turn the other cheek when you get slapped, STD infested over 30s eeeekwa?!!!!
Now you suddenly can see from a man's perspective eeekwa?
You are now in charge and have all solutions to the women's problems, when all 'damaged' women gather together against you, you won't last they will pray you into oblivion.
Your own mother never talk na you!!!!!! I know how to write and spell my name , ee is Amara and I know why all the women are not married.
Mmmmmmsssssshhhhhhhheeeeeewwwww!!!!!
And yes I am happily marrried, but not judgemental on all single women, haba, are they now outcasts because they are single!!!!!
This article is an insult to Nigerian women. There are many unmarried Nigerian men, but Nigerian society has made it stigmatizing for unmarried women. I am a woman and I am appalled that another woman is adding to the stigma that many young, beautiful, hard-working and unmarried Nigerian women face.
Don't be mistaken, I am a happily married 24 year old and I am successful and doing great.
As a woman, I believe that women need men who will support them regardless of whether or not the men are as successful as the women. A man who feel threatened by a woman is not worthy of her. And I put that out from the beginning of my relationship. I wanted a partner, not a lord.
Fellas, read between the lines, 'Madam' Amara simply used the medium of PM NEWS to vent her anger...Some sharp gurl snatched her man who was on the verge of proposing. You can tell she masked so many bitter truths about her sorry state.
Err...several married women sleep with men to buy Brazilian hair too o! And quite a few of them have bad attitudes. Why else would their husbands chase (yes.. chase) other women. Don't mind the lies men say. Na them dey go ALL out to chase girls o! If they were happy and content, would they? It is well known that most men marry not out of love but cos it is time to marry and when they do, they have funny reasons that differ from man to man - if she yallow, the tribe she is from, is she comes from a stable home (if my parents divorced, na my fault?) and all sorts of reasons and not necessarily the ones Amara mentioned. I have seen sluts marry (and the men knew they were sluts), I have seen the rudest chicks marry as well. Truth is there is no hard and fast rule. When a woman's time comes (if its meant to be), she will marry.
i don't know if i should be more upset at the writer or the commentators cheering her on and saying "good job".
Amara, in fact e dinma e pia utali for this nonsense e dere...e gakwara school??
i am single and over 30, successful, ambitious and hard working. If i must diminish my destiny just to be Mrs, then I would gladly be an old maiden. If I must change a "character" that I have lived with all my life, just to be Mrs, wouldn't that be pretentious? As someone said, many men/women have fallen victim to the men/ women who 'changed character' to suit societies perception of an 'ideal' and 'marriageable' man/woman only to be wallowing in a miserable marriage. I won't speak too much grammar to validate this garbage.
I believe sound character is paramount in living a good life on earth, and in have good relationships with men and women (young and old)
However, I do not at all agree with the opinion expressed by Amara about women who are well off. For me, I believe there's a man for every woman and there's a woman for every man (if they choose to marry that is).
It is insecurity that makes a man say he cannot approach a lady that is settled in her career/biz and drives a posh car. Such women don't need insecure men around them, they need true men- who are not ashamed or afraid to be themselves and who are comfortable in their own skin. It is insecure men that end up being wife beaters, maimers etc.
Once the character issue is there, securing a mate is settled. Haven't you seen rich and humble girls and poor and proud ones?
From the look of things, Amara seems a low-achiever and feels that is why she has been able to secure a mate/ There are high achievers with sound character who get married to their soul mates too.
For instance, I presently earn more than my man, but he will do everything he knows to do to keep me his own because; I am not moved by what I have but my life is driven by thankfulness to God for who I am and the opportunities He has brought my way; And because I treat him as THE MAN I love and believe in.
It works.
Amara, please,please,please...pick up some courage and go after the woman that filled you with so much venom that inspired you to write this insensitive article.
Signed: Beautiful,Strong, and Far From 30 Proud Nigerian Woman.
what a sad sad post indeed...next she will have a revised version requesting that federal government locks up all the single over 30s
What a totally insensitive judgemental write-up.
Gosh no wonder girls are desperate to go into loveless marriages if this is the judge and jury they have to face.
What ever happened to "God makes all things beautiful in his time"
I AM A MARRIED WOMAN AND THIS ARTICLE IS BULLSHIT!!
I see the Over thirties and single agbayas are not happy with Amaras very totful articleI see the Over thirties and single agbayas are not happy with Amaras very totful article
its gettin ridiculous these days how girls act. i'm live in england and all my friends in nigeria... i cnt really vouch for them!! dey r nt ashamed to say dt they sleep around. the most annoying part is that they r from extremely good homes, where money is not a problem. nigerian girls jst dont place value on themselves. they never think of the future and all they tink about is the now. what they don't realise is that whatever they do now has a way of coming back in the future and eating them up! nigerian girls av jst become too rude and lack any self-respect let alone respecting other people. you ask them why dey dnt av boyfriends dey tell you its cos there r no more men in nigeria. bt d reality is nigerian men marry nigerian women everyday!! nigerian women like creatin excuses for our situation and we never examine ourselves. its jst a black people tin.. we blame everything on being black. u get fired from work and d next tin to do is blame ur white boss.. its cos i'm black he's racist! ermm... maybe its cos u r nt doin ur work love. Nigerian's and black people in general need to stop creating excuses and check ourselves!
All the women on here getting angry are just being ridiculous. Why would a man want to marry you if he's getting EVERYTHING without putting a ring on it? Please try and have some dignity.
As for the character part, many Nigerian women are arrogant beyond words, and are utterly unteachable (as evidenced by the angrt responses this article has generated).
Linda funny enough i saw this article on another site i was so anooyed. How can someone display such ignorance. The same lady that wrote this , had earlier in her article insulted her inlaws for throwing her husbands house.Such person has d guts to write such nonsense.
like seriously ...is dis lady for real..oh shez a retard saying rubbish!! who evr said living a good life was for the men alone..??Bitch pls get a life watevr ur name is..lameass view!
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The things she wrote about apply to married women in Nigeria too so what's she on about?
this condescending and patronizing attitude towards singlehood is why lots of people are in marriages they have no business being in. A lot of marriages are so window dressed this day. You can sleep in your mother-in-law's bedroom, wear the same attire with your husband to parties etc but still be in the worst ever relationship ever.
Even if some points are valid, they are not apt for generalization because some currently married women were like that as singles and married before you could say jack robinson.
What's with the automatic sanctimonious sainthood married women think they have? Amara's attitude (whether she's married or single) is worse than what she wrote about. She's so judgmental & myopic. You are nothing without the grace of God - it's not all about what you do. Thank God for whatever you are because you could have the best personality and be unmarried. As if it's only marriage that validates a person anyways.
Amara writes a lot of bullcrap. I stopped reading her column when she was critizing women that wore weave, at a time when her picture then (now it has changed) clearly showed she had weave on. Did i hear hypocrite.
She writes the most ridiculous articles; the sad things is she was one of those sugary girls, that has had many abortions and finally was luckily to hook a man. I believe her husband finally died and she is now a widow and raising her children alone. She has a lot of bitterness in her; now her life mission is to project her guilt.
Amara, you are not perfect and we know your past.
Well said Sister, at last the truth is out there! Amara you have made my day!
YEAH, BRAVO TO ALL THE DUMB ASS PEOPLE SUPPORTING THIS STUPID ARTICLE. ALL THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE MARRIED, HOW MANY OF YOUR HUSBANDS DEY HOLY LIKE UNA DEY? WITH ALL THE CHEATING THAT IS GOING ON IN THESE SO CALLED MARRIAGES BY YOUR WONDERFUL HUSBANDS. MARRIED WOMEN ARE JUST SCARED BECAUSE MEN IN NIGERIA HAVE A LOT MORE OPTIONS THAN WOMEN WILL EVER HAVE. SO MANY THAT ARE MARRIED TODAY ARE IN USELESS, WORTHLESS, AND PAINFUL MARRIAGES AND YET SOME OF YOU ACT LIKE YOU HAVE ACHIEVED THE GREATEST GIFT IN THE WORLD. PLEASE KEEP LOOKING FOR A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND WHEN YOUR HUSBAND DIES SEAT DOWN AND WAIT FOR HIS DEAD BODY TO TAKE CARE OF YOU TOO. INSTEAD OF ENCOURAGING A WOMAN WHO IS WORKING HARD TO PROVIDE FOR HERSELF AND HER FAMILY, YOU BERATE HER AND TELL HER THAT IS WHY SHE ISNT MARRIED. SHE SHOULD KEEP WAITING FOR A MAN TO COME MEET ALL HER NEEDS. BEING A MARRIED WOMAN DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY BETTER THAN A SINGLE WOMAN OR EVEN MORE PRIVILEDGED.
Hummm people its a book an her opinion, remember we all have right to opinions, while am not saying shes right on wrong here the truth is we can lie to everybody but not to our selves, even some MARRIED people are just flatmate just to look good lets be real people.
Good pour out though but am of the opinion that people know the real reason why they are married or not if they choose to see it that is.
The simple truth in life is the small things that matter as they are what make big things.
@Amara the writer am sure you have a very good reason of writing this but an article can be misinterpreted i suppose a proper understandable breakdown and solution focused article would make more people see you point.
Linda sha u dey try keep it up.
Am waiting for another article in reply maybe WHY MARRIAGES DON'T LAST.(just saying o make una no begin finish me, just being real.
lastly do not use spiritual means to solve physical problems and physical means to solve spiritual problems.
peace out!!!!
The problem with Amara's statement is that it is not well structured,it looked like she was ranting about her friends,there are lazy guys in nig who likes to date posh chics so they drive Gclass,live in banana island,guys likes to date a "big girls" and they don't care where they get the money from,I don't blame girls in the sense that some are fending for themselves while some are greedy,if a man likes you and wants to date or marry you,there are certain attributes they want in you which does not guarantee you wedding,in some cases guys with just Secondary certificate wants to get married to a medical Dr,I have tried dating the low,medium and high,their mentality r the same,the want "Mary" when they are not near Joseph,ladies hv scarified a lot for guys,they still dump them,getting married is not beginning of success or achievements,what matters is what we have achieved on earth,lives we hv touched,to all the singles ladies,your time will come,to the married ones,God's mercy n grace will not depart from your home,do the right thing.
RE: Reasons you are not Married" @ www.younotry.blogspot.com
She who's without sin, should cast the first stone!
No one has the right to question the destiny of others!marriage is a blessing but its not the end of the world nor does it make you a sinner close to hell if you're not!
Asmuch as I agree that some character change is required, it applies to both sexes, single AND married poeple.
Amara check yourself!!!
As much as you're entitled to your opinions, you should not offend others with it...
Am just saying....
Amara, May i say that yours is absolutely a case of beauty with NO BRAINS!!!
Never in your life should you generalise !! it is absolutely wrong! I am 29 yrs and still single.. from a good christian home, have a fantastic job and doing well for myself! At 29, i have only been in one relationship in my entire life.. i broke up with my ex cos i found out someone was pregnant for him 4 months before our wedding so i cancelled the wedding! i am single and it is not my damn fault! I am bascically hurting right now and hoping the right man comes my way at Gods own time! it however breaks my heart to come on to my darling Linda Ikeji's blog to read this piece of bulls..t that you call an article! ladies are single for so many reasons , you do not generalise!
Who gave you cyberspace in the first instance? I shake my head for you!!!!!!!You Suck! And in case you dont know, single ladies (who are of age) will be extremely sensitive to this piece of crap you call an article! DAMN YOU!
what abt those who r spiritually manipulated never 2 get married, who is 2 b blamed???????????
This article reminds me of my favourite YOUTUBE Inspire SHANEL COOPER SYKES
CHeck out her take on this issue. She tells it like it is and i love her for that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLufeE0CK_k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ0xH28YL9k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvaMqLdFO64&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T9hJsF7X8M&feature=related
This article reminds me of my favourite YOUTUBE Inspire SHANEL COOPER SYKES
CHeck out her take on this issue. She tells it like it is and i love her for that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLufeE0CK_k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ0xH28YL9k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvaMqLdFO64&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T9hJsF7X8M&feature=related
Amara, my dear, I am a 30-something single lady (womb untouched... thank you) with a good life, good friends, work I love, a Bible I read everyday, and many joys and passions, and i generally do not dwell too much on my sex-partnerless life until i hear these sorts of clueless and infuriating insinuations that there is something WRONG with me, that I'm some sort of harpy or whore, and that is why I don't have this ultimate PRIZE of a husband. (I won't even get into the bit about how we women shouldn't take jobs that fulfill us or pay well because it will scare off some poor sap--kill me now)
Well, let me tell you that in my observation, most of the women of my acquaintance who have recently gotten married (some friends, some not) have been sleeping with, some living with, their boyfriends before they married them. In fact, a boyfriend of mine who had made professions of undying love and asked me to marry him over and over finally ended up leaving me because i refused to sleep with him before we married, finding a woman who jumped into bed with him immediately upon the end of our relationship, started living with her within a month, and ended up marrying her not long thereafter. So, you might perhaps understand my fury when you imply that I (single woman cheerfully doing my own thing in life) am the immoral one and that any married woman must be a paradigm of purity that I should seek advice from, and that I should set all my aspirations on being married... as if that were the only thing in life to make one happy.... My philosophy is let everybody do their own thing and if you follow God you will be happier than if you don't follow him (whether you're married or not), but don't you dare judge me, if I don't feel like the only path to happiness is two steps behind some man... eyes on the ground...
Anyway, enjoy your life. It sounds like you have a good one....
I had to look this lady up since I knew nothing about her before I made any comments.
Her linkdin profile says she has been head of the PR dept for many multi national cooperations.
Given that she just got out of college.......I leave the conclusions for you all to be the judge.
Her writings are very staccato, and other than the aim being to enrage the public and creat contoversy, she doesn't make much sense. PM magazine obviously thing very little of themselves and women other they would not provide such and ignorant person a platform to deride womanhood like she is doing.
Apart from being ignorant, she is also a fraud in her claims.
Thanks Linda for bringing this to our notice
I see that all the bitter, used up girls,(who most likely don't have a womb anymore) are out in force. Everything Amara has said is true, but honestly, trying to reason with some of you is an exercise in futility.
Amara, most of the girls ranting and cursing you out have mothers who are themselves home wreckers, (daughters of second third fourth etc wives). They cannot see anything wrong with being wayward and having a bad attitude, beacause that is how they've been raised by their equally wayward, badly behaved mothers.
Just focus on yourself and hide yourself under God's protection, because these 'girls' are beyond redemption.
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