'Fake' partners

Been missing in action since yesterday…it’s been crazy busy at work. Running after sponsors for our next fashion show and also trying to get everything set for our TV show. So we finally booked the studio…it’s costing so much to shoot just three episodes of the show. Without meaning to sound unpatriotic, this country has a way of killing dreams. So many people with great ideas, no aid! People who can afford to invest in great ideas have no interest whatsoever in doing so…but then when you have God…he makes things happen. Not only do I have a loan facility to get my magazine out...at last, I also have an executive producer for Catwalk wit Linda. Today, he gave us all the money needed to get the show on the road…I’m so grateful to God! Please always pray, I mean it, It really works…I can’t even begin to count the changes I’ve seen in my life since I started going down on my knees…

Anyway, tomorrow I’ll be going to the studio with my set designers. I’ll take pictures of the studio, so y’all can see it and tell me what you think of the place. Also, I’ll be taking and loading pics of of the show, models at the office, at the salon getting their hair and nails done, shopping for clothes and accessories, dress rehearsals, make-up sessions, stage/runway design, basically pre/post production pics…so get set for that. Maybe later I'll explain the structure of the show.

To the crux of today’s topic, I ran into an old friend today, hadn’t seen him in two years, so it was a pretty good surprise. Last time I saw him was with his newly wedded wife of just a month, they seemed pretty close and in love…I remember thinking this young couple will ‘make it’, they sorta seemed so perfect for each, so it was really surprising when I asked after his wife and he told me they were no longer together. Apparently, their marriage had lasted on 17 months. Pretty short, pretty surprising! And instead of leaving well alone, the typical nosy Linda asked her friend why the marriage packed up so soon…what went wrong I wanted to know. Here I am thinking of settling down and most marriages around me are crashing…quite disheartening!

Fortunately, he had no qualms opening up...but guess what he said first…She (Ex-wife) was a fake! A fake? I’ve heard all sorts of reasons why marriages crash, never have I heard anyone say their partner was a fake. This was new to me so I needed more explanation (Like it’s any of my business right? lol).

He explained to me that he'd had met his wife at a time in his life when he was desperately looking for a wife. He said she came and practically turned his whole life around…for the better…she would come to his house, sweep, clean, cook his meals, wash his clothes, take care of him and his younger siblings who were living with him at the time. She was the kind of wife every man dreamed about, kind, gentle, loving, domesticated, never complained, was religious, helped him with his office work and was very obedient. He said at the time, he felt extremely lucky to have found his dream woman…nine months after they met, he married her.

Three months into their marriage, he was in serious shock. He said she stopped washing his clothes, stopped going to church, started nagging, sent his siblings, she used to take care of, out of the house, and became very nasty. At the time, she had been pregnant, so he blamed her new and ugly behaviour on nerves. But he said it got worse after she had their baby…she now officially refused to cook and left every house hold chore to their house help, while she lounged around all day, doing nothing.

She’d had told him she was a graduate of a university, he found out that was a lie, so she wasn’t qualified for most of the jobs he'd applied for on her behalf…she had lied about alot of things...he found out she had lied about her age…she was 29 at the time they married, but told him 26.

She had made enquiries about him, found out what he liked and was looking for in a woman and lived that life just to nail him…after the marriage, her true self took form.

He said things were so bad at home a year after their marriage that he'd had a mind of ending the union, but hesitated because of his daughter and his parents who had also fallen under her spell…

Eventually, he opened up to his mum, who then went to talk some sense into her daughter-in-law but her daughter-in-law walked her out of their home after raining insults on her…warning her never to step foot into the house again.

So, 7 months ago, 17 months after their wedding, my friend packed his belongings and walked out of his marriage.

I also remember a true story of a woman who dated a guy for 4 years and he never laid hands on her. But five months into their marriage, while she was 6 months pregnant, he beat the life out of her just because she admonished him for dropping his toothbrush on the bathroom floor. That was the beginning of a beating that lasted 4years…until she found the strength to walk out of her marriage with her two kids…

I think it’s unfair to pretend to be what you’re not. Let your partner know exactly what they’re getting into…if you’re a nasty person, don’t pretend to be nice, if you're not domesticated, don't pretend to be, if you hate something, don't pretend to like it…why dishonesty and disillusion? Why cause such heartbreak? Faking never lasts…your true self will appear one day and when it does, it won’t be nice for everyone involved.

So the message here really is try to get to know someone as much as possible before making a lifetime commitment to them…I know it’s extremely hard to really know people who don’t want to reveal their true selves, but paying more attention could help detect some hidden character traits…

After all said and done, it’s very important to talk to God before settling down…let him find that right person for us…it doesnt mean we won’t have ups and downs in our relationship, but at least it won’t be about something so vile that it kills our soul or make us loose hope in the human spirit

So this is my question: Why do people pretend so much? Why can’t we all just be ‘what you see is what you get’? How can you tell someone isn't real? Why do people change? Does anyone even know?