Dear LIB readers; Is my fiance a woman beater or not? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday, 29 March 2015

Dear LIB readers; Is my fiance a woman beater or not?

From a female LIB reader
I am engaged to be married to a man who people say is a woman beater. We have been dating for 8 months but he has never hit me. In fact, he's never acted aggressively towards me. But a mutual friend with his ex-wife told me the woman left while pregnant with their second child because he beat her so badly she feared she would lose the child. In panic, because I am so against domestic violence and don't want to be a victim, I contacted the ex, who told me she suffered abuse in his hands for all the time they were married and that was why she ended the marriage. They were married for only three years. When I confronted my man with this info, he denied it and swore on his children's life that he has never laid his hands on a woman and would sooner cut his arms before raising it to hit a woman. He sounded so sincere but why would a woman lie about being abused? I'm confused. I don't want to be a victim of domestic violence. Who should I believe; my man or his ex-wife?

192 comments:

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Madam ur 2mins is over! Next

Unknown said...

Confused as ui

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Just keep observing his reaction to provocation. Dat might give u a clue

Abeni said...

Maybe he has change

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Just marry him then yu will knw for urself ok....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Davido's driver said...

Pls run for ya life. Lindaobserve

ASAMPOKOTO said...

Tough situation. Why have a mutual friend with his ex? They'll forever feed you poison. For the first time in my life, i will actually say stay till he attempts to show you that side of him

Cute G said...

This is a tough nut to crack. I'll say u shd extend the dating probably he'd bring out the him in him if he's really such a beast.

Unknown said...

My dear Investigate some more . N pry to God

Unknown said...

Well ask his neighbors they won't lie about it too

Unknown said...

Pls why are u bothering us since he has given u his words! Its up to as a woman to avoid him beating u. Sew ur mouth! Be a good wife! Bye!

Unknown said...

D cane wen dem use flog 1st wife, na em dem go still use flog 2nd wife oooooooooo. U want to marry a married man abi!!!

APPLE said...

This is a tough one. His ex may be lying who knows? You are the one dating him, what dose your instinct tell you? Divorce after just three years of marriage?…hmmm..Ask him why he divorced his wife after just 3 years of marriage. He has not hit you u said? He may be pretending till after marriage. BE CAREFUL!

Unknown said...

D cane wen dem use flog 1st wife, na em dem go still use flog 2nd wife oooooooooo. U want to marry a married man abi!!!

Unknown said...

Lol.. funny. . NO WOMAN MARRIED TO A MAN THAT BORE HIM CHILDREN WILL EVER BE REAL FRIENDS WITH THE WOMAN WHO TOOK OVER FROM HER. BUT THEN AGAIN, NOTHING HIDES UNDER THE SUN.. SOME PEOPLE CAN PRETEND FOR YEARS THEN ONE DAY YOU'D SEE THEIR TRUE COLOR. BIKO, I HOPE THAT MAN IS LEGALLY DIVORCED? COS I DUNNO WHY UR EYES R CHOOKING FOR A MARRIED MAN WHEN WE ARE OVER 6BILLION ON EARTH. BYE JORR.

Kponskii said...

If u ask us,who we go ask? U are in a relationship with man. He hasn't hit u yet and even if he's guilty of hitting his ex, u ain't her...ain't nothing wrong with being careful, but this unwarranted worry could be a clog in the wheel of ur happiness.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm

Anonymous said...

That your man must be a big liar...believe the ex











Pastor videod Touching a Ladies body during a Prayer section in his Office

Kaine Ifem Sophia said...

Hmmmm pls better find out more and pray seriously...also try talking to his neighbours around...nowadays marriage isn't all that we dream of it to be so be very careful

Unknown said...

follow ur heart

My Two Kobo said...

If you don't believe, Test him! Push him and see what happens... you are seeing&reading the handwriting on the wall and you are still asking questions... the fact that he's denying it is kinda scary. Better leave while your hands, limbs and all others are intact...

That's just my two kobo on the matter...

Unknown said...

HMMMMM,SINCE HE IS SAYING THAT IT IS NOT TRUE........I CAN ONLY ADVICE YOU TO BE VERY OBSERVANT ON HIM. DONT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE WITH HIM, DONT GET PREGNANT MISTAKENLY.

PLS DONT TAKE HIS CALMNESS AS EVIDENCE THAT HE CANNOT HIT YOU. I KNOW THAT THIS IS A LONG STRETCH BUT TRY AND PROVOK HIM A COPLE OF TIMES....JUST TO SEE WHAT HE WILL DO. DO SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW WILL REALLY ANNOY HIM AND SEE HOW HE WILL REACT......IT IS BETTER TO HAVE A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE DEAR. WHILST YOU ARE STILL DATING HIM........TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO STUDY HIM.

BUT PREFERABLY.......I WOULD SAY, JUST LEAVE HIM

Bonita Bislam said...

Dear LIB reader,
Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been

Unknown said...

Doesn't he got friends,family members u can ask? Y asking us?

Eze said...

The question u should be asking ursef, is why did his ex wife leave him.....i think that will ans ur question....better run for ur life, before he start winning medals on top ur body

Eze said...

The question u should be asking ursef, is why did his ex wife leave him.....i think that will ans ur question....better run for ur life, before he start winning medals on top ur body

LIVING REAL. said...

Believe his ex, and better still try to find out y she left him, there must be a reason for their separation.

Unknown said...

hmmmm. why dont you intentionally do something very annoying to piss him off,then see how he reacts to it... not once oh...keep pissing the dude off and see how he manages his anger.

derby said...

my sister its xo obvious vat he is a woman beater...4 his mutual fwend nd his ex 2 say xo den he is....pls dnt marry im u wld jst regret cs men can deceive....

derby said...

my sister its xo obvious vat he is a woman beater...4 his mutual fwend nd his ex 2 say xo den he is....pls dnt marry im u wld jst regret cs men can deceive....

Anonymous said...

Ask me again

World People said...

Ur boo is lying ..he's a woman beater .and U can take that to the bank !

Unknown said...

OYO
U have brain....think



#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

rossy said...

Find out from neighbours then. The woman could be lying but why not get a man that never had a wife? Don't mind me. Your choice.

Finest Rossy said...

Husband snatcher... Look for ur own man and stop asking silly question... U go soon jump out d marriage ole... How am I even sure u contactd d ex for real and she sounded so nice to u dat is snatchin her husband... Women look for single men to get married to and stop breakin other women's marriage bikonu.

Damola Gbadegesin said...

Haaa haaa maybe God has touched his heart.lol. but be sure one day the animal in him will come out and you will see for yourself.

Unknown said...

My dear investigate very well before you enter into the marriage o.
You're guy are engaged not married , it could be that he is pretending just to get you to marry him.
Why will his ex wife lie to you about something like that, so shine your eyes o.
Try and find out from his friends too.

Anonymous said...

Try and get him annoyed one day, lock his shirts and see his reaction...he might not even need to beat u before u knw buh make sure u get his reallu angry

LIFE WITH GIGI said...

Oyo is ur case......






Gm

Anonymous said...

Poster,i think you need to do a lot verification.. Talk to his family and friends..those you are close with and can tell you the truth..when he denied beating his ex did he tell you why she left? How can you be married for 3yrs and already divorced..and just after 8 mnth he want to get married to you. There is more to it..
My advice is shift the weddding until you get all ur infor and convince in ur heart to go ahead or not..don't use ur emotions to decide but ur head..unfortunately when we ladies pray to God we only hear what we want to hear not what God is saying.
It not all about getting married but staying married..God will see you through.

Anonymous said...

Leave while ur skin is still urs.





Gay Life of an Anonymous Writer

Unknown said...

Ask more pple about the issue.........anyone of dem cud be lying
And did he tell you why he actually left d first marriage????











Moye says so via BB Passport...Courtesy LIB....

Anonymous said...

Truth is most men hide their true self during courtship, then after marriage you see the beast in them.
They can say anything I mean anything convincing, they can even swear by the bible self just to get you.
It happens to the best of us so just be careful and prayer.
Also have this at the back of your mind....marriage is not always rosy.
He was once married and something made his ex leave...just think about it.

Reina said...

Postpone the wedding and see if that will trigger his anger. Lol

Unknown said...

Believe his wife..but if u stupidly think She's lying stay till he hits u..

felicious said...

Hmm follow the signs and listen to the Holy spirit to guide your decision

Nene said...

E juo'm m ju'onye?

AMI said...

Ask him why the wife left the marriage since he claims he never laid a hand on her nor a woman.

AMI said...

Ask him why the wife left the marriage since he claims he never laid a hand on her nor a woman.

Unknown said...

Pray about it seriously and try to provoke him to see how he will react towards you,try to see the real him before you say I do.

Unknown said...

Pray to God for direction.... One of them is lying so at this point, u really need God's directive to guide u aright

Unknown said...

Pray about it seriously and try to provoke him to see how he will react towards you,try to see the real him before you say I do.good luck

Unknown said...

Pray about it seriously and try to provoke him to see how he will react towards you,try to see the real him before you say I do.good luck

Unknown said...

I ll advice you to be patient and do more things to annoy him during this courtship just to know if he ll come out of his shell.

Unknown said...

Believe none men are unpredictable just pray for good things

Unknown said...

Believe none men are unpredictable just pray for good things

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmmm, indeed u r confused. Follow ur heart.

Unknown said...

Follow ur heart... or better go on ur kneels, it helps n will go a long way in ur marital life

Unknown said...

Dont believe d woman, maybe he still wants d man, d man might ve divorced her on other grounds other dan dat of domestic voilence.

ELENA (HER MAJESTY) said...

Men are so deceitful,dnt be fooled bae

I'd urge u to believe d ex wife or better still aask around a lil more but in all you do,trust ur instincts

Anonymous said...

8months. Well you never know till you marry him. So ignore what the ex says, marry him, when and if he beats you to death or close to it, you'll know she didn't lie. Or maybe he's a changed person. Think about it

Anonymous said...

IF ITS TRUE DEN U WIL B HS PUNCHING BAG...TOMJERRYSWIT

SMURF said...

Then ask around from neighbors, and close friends. One would snitch

Anonymous said...

The ex-wife cos dat man is lying to u & will hit u some day.

Anonymous said...

Ur man isn't just telling u lies abt beating a woman, he prolly has so many things he has lied to u about . Do some test on him and from time to time ask him questions about some general stuffs u are sure of the true answer . Watch him answer yes or no to this questions. Study the way he acts, his lip and eye movement, if his nose twitches whenever he lies about the answers. After sometime , ask him about his ex-wife and watch his attitude again as he answers the question to confirm if he is actually telling the truth or not. Pray about it and follow ur instincts.

Unknown said...

Ghen!! Ghen!!! O' girl just be openminded. It's good u knw he can be aggressive. He may hav changed. An u knw u may actually be his week point, just find a way through his heart. Communicated well. An u will never experience domestic violence. U MUST make sure u are not a house wife

Unknown said...

Go ahead and believe his ex, I'm sure she loves you so much and just Can't wait for u to move on with her ex husband, she probably has No feelings for him anymore and isn't capable of lying, nahh women don't lie.

Unknown said...

Investigate well. She's his ex & might say anything to jeopardize your relationship. Make proper investigations & if it's true; leave him.

Unknown said...

Why not investigate first b4 going into
An institution you will live to regret later.
I don't support domestic violence.
A man that beat his former wife can't
Be trusted not to do the same to you.

Anonymous said...

Shine ya eye ioo

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm, put all doubt aside nd tk it 2 d lord in prayer Yes he mayb a wife beater bt wat if he has changed jt let ur mind b @ ease my dear.

Anonymous said...

Ask Abdullah to confirm, he was present during the beatdown of the woman.

Anonymous said...

My dear believe the woman men cn b very wicked.... I one day I will tell my story

Otunba Pumba1 said...

Since u asked n by now u don't know I will tell u, it's better u end d relationship before it's too late cos he won't show himself now until u get married cos am sure dat was aw he did to his ex, so be wise n don't fall prey...
GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes....I think ladies got fish brains....sorry to say....u seeing the writing on the wall...must you marry a married man..?

Unknown said...

His ex wife... I think

Eugene p said...

I think you should listen to your husband, if it's true he might want to leave all that behind and u digging it up is not a good thing because when it stays in your mind you will nurture it and it will manifest. So if u don't like it please try and bury it

Anonymous said...

Dear Female LIB Reader,

You own your own destiny.... Don't give anybody the opportunity to experiment with you in the name of love... Pls quit the relationship or face the consequences. Don't try to change anybody. Be kind but don't be foolish my dear..

Cheers

better naija pikin said...

Babes, I think you should trust your instincts. Try and look out for reactions. Check his eyes, jaws , mouth. Do something annoying on purpose and check closely how much hes trying to control himself. Your in love so shine your eyes my dear

prettiyz said...

I don't know if it's a good idea but I always do it when I meet a new man,i get to know his likes and dislike and also ask him what he does not tolerate and then I do it for sometime to know the level of his annoyance to know if it will result in him getting violent. If he walks out good but if he raises his hand but end up not hitting me then I assume he attempted to hit me and know what his level of annoyance can make him do and it has so far been working for me. But give it time and ask his neighbors if he did hit his ex wife

Unknown said...

Try and see now

Unknown said...

His ex wife ofcos, ur man could be pretending

Beeteewhy said...

At one point in most men's life, they going to a hit a woman..mostly their first love..some of they will later regret their actions and after watching movies and reading blogs that goes against women violence, they'll make a vow never to hit a woman again..the truth is, give them four years maximum.

Anonymous said...

Pray nd fast about it nd God will reveal d truth to u.

Unknown said...

Dear writer,
I believe you are asking the wrong ppl for information, his ex and frnds of his ex will surely. Not give you any positive answer. Why not try asking his own family or neighbour for better understanding of ur to be husband. That's if u truly want answers, but don't go searching when u can't stand ur findings. Cheers!

NIGERIAN said...

I want to tell you guys a short story. Being a woman beater is imperative because I am a living example. I have never been a man that beats anybody man or woman unless you hit me first so I think/believe that I am not a woman or man beater at that even if my looks is of an aggressive personality + the fact that I am a huge stout man. I am in my second marriage and for the first time in my life, I have beating my wife up to four times. This was unfortunately prompted by her inconsistent habit of hitting me when we are arguing and I do not stand aggression IRRESPECTIVE of where it is coming from. I get into a trance the moment you touch me especially if we are in a heated disagreement. My wife now used to have the habit of hitting me if we start arguing and this brings out the animal in me so much so that I forget she is a woman. it used to be same when I was young too with my younger siblings. Funny after the last time which about 4yrs AGO now when I beat her so much and she did bite me and believe me I did bite her back and very hard at that, I was so embarrassed of my self because I see myself as a very civilized mordern man with style and swag and my circle is quite a top civilized class. I was so ashamed of myself when I realized what I did and have been doing because she ended up in hospital after that incident, I had to ask for divorce but she refused with her friends and family begging me not to go for divorce. I accepted on one condition which is that she will under no condition touch me or hit me if we are arguing. Strange as it may sound, she agreed and my people ever since then, I have never raised my hand against her and we actually do have a lively, lovely marriage since then. What I am saying is some women start the beater in us men without knowing it so please women should also try to find out what the problem is. I know because I am not one having married before my current wife and lived with her in a civilized world for almost ten years without hitting her nor my kids for that long nor have I ever hit my children up to tomorrow and can't imagine that Still my current wife was able to bring that animal in me. Please girls/women should also ask themselves what is it about me that makes somebody that wilfully declared his love to me to feel/get joy from my pain by hitting or abusing me. Just making a case here. Ladies should also ask questions even if so many say walk away or lock urself in like charly boy/areaboy suggested in his last article as published by LIB, the girls will even not allow you like my wife used to back then. I will try to go but she would not allow me to. She would hold me by my shirt, year it, drag me by my trousers, it was like she always wanted that part of me until I made it clear that any other day she brings that out of me by this actions of hers, I will walk away from the marriage. So please women find a way not to demonize ur men also. I can't imagine anybody hitting my girls but I also can't imagine them hitting anybody. Is killing at least for me anytime I hit anybody so let us all work together to make the world a violence free place.

ManchesterUnitedStuff said...

your instinct darling

ary said...

People lie for all kinds of reasons, but I guess in this case you have to find out for yourself if he is a woman beater. Unfortunately, it might ended up with you with a black eye

Anonymous said...

Yes he is a woman beater. Why do you think another woman left the marriage with a child and about to give birth to another one. I work with domestic violence victims and one of the characteristics of abusive men is they are very charming to begin with. Everytime they abuse you they will beg you and promise it wont happen again and even cry for you crocodile tears tehn beat you again. He shows classic signs of an abuser. A man who does not abuse wont swear or anything. He would then prove to you why his marriage ended so early. Domestic violence or not there is something about him for a woman to leave her marriage so early you need to watch it or next you will be writing here about a terrible ordeal in less than one year.

pro said...

dear girl, i advise you give the man a chance, all women gets a different treat from a man, so try..

Anonymous said...

Hmm that is how abusers are..they are so sweet and will never touch u till u get married...my dear there is some truth to the story u are hearing...investigate it more before walking down the aisle

Unknown said...

Provoke him and see how he will react lol

QUEEN B said...

U don enta 1 chance! Run 4 ur dear life! But then you wont!

Anonymous said...

Pray if possible Fast nd ask for God's intervention

destinysweet said...

Do proper investigation,ask neigbours,go see d. Ex wife personally, try to provoke him nd see his reactions,or arrange wit someone else maybe his gateman in d compound, his colleagues to provoke him nd see his reaction



Auntylindagoddaughter

Anonymous said...

I believe he was a wife beater but pray that he has changed. Tell him that you heard it from more than one source so you find it difficult to dismiss it. If he hasn't been aggressive with you then go with the flow and tell him the moment he raises his hand to you, the union is over. May God help you

Babykingsway said...

All i know is a pregnant woman will not walk away for nothing. Even if it is a lie, imagine what will cause a pregnant woman to walk? Maybe it is even worse than physical abuse. Remember no woman will choose to be a single mom of 2 especially when pregnant.
My suggestion is to date him a bit longer, no need rushing into marriage. Time tells the truth about people, trust me

Lilian Fc Barcelona said...

Ask people who knew them when they were together.

Unknown said...

1. He's lying
2. The woman is lying due to jealousy or something

SWILL MARTIN said...

U better believe dat woman for a woman 2 end her marriage during pregnancy tells u hwo severe d isuue was,babe wen it happens it wud look lyk a movie to u nd it won't be lyk u weren't warned, he could also av chnged oooo buh it's very rare a wife beater wud alwayz remain 1 except when delivered by God.

Anonymous said...

I don't how much dumber u can be. Info from an ex-wife n her mutual friend, hahahahaha. U must be a small girl in age. So let's say u wanna be cautious I'm sure there are other friends of d family to ask n ways like provoking him to a reasonable amount intentionally to c his reaction. He was married n got divorced I think u'ld really wanna slow down on d marriage n get to know dis man better

Karlsson said...

Believe whoever U want to believe my dear.
Ubanagum

Blog It With Olivia said...

Maybe the man has actually changed cos of his failed marriage with his 1st wife...just that he's denying it o...lol
Buh does it mean d woman lied about it cos maybe she doesn't want another woman taking her place????
Buh others couldn't have lied bout d same thing
Pls look well b4 u involve urself in somethn u'd regret later
There's usually no smoke without fire
In every rumour/gossip, there's always an atom of truth
So I suggest u delve into dis αи∂ get to d button to knw who's lying...
Domestic violence is not something u'd love to experience
Ask May D's baby Mama

Blog It With Olivia said...

Maybe the man has actually changed cos of his failed marriage with his 1st wife...just that he's denying it o...lol
Buh does it mean d woman lied about it cos maybe she doesn't want another woman taking her place????
Buh others couldn't have lied bout d same thing
Pls look well b4 u involve urself in somethn u'd regret later
There's usually no smoke without fire
In every rumour/gossip, there's always an atom of truth
So I suggest u delve into dis αи∂ get to d button to knw who's lying...
Domestic violence is not something u'd love to experience
Ask May D's baby Mama

Anonymous said...

How do you expect us to know? Do we know your husband?

Ok, he's a wife beater! Don't marry him.

Why so foolish?

Unknown said...

Ma dear u better pray 4 GOD's intervention because dis matter me sef no know who I go ask

Unknown said...

Ma dear u better pray 4 GOD's intervention because dis matter me sef no know who I go ask

Laundry enthusiasts said...

So since ur stil contesting d ex-wifes version..what did ur man tell u was responsible for his pregnant wife running off.
Bsides you said 2 accounts from neighbours and his ex. that 2 to 1 regardless. ur call. But I'd say walk.

Laundry enthusiasts said...

So since ur stil contesting d ex-wifes version..what did ur man tell u was responsible for his pregnant wife running off.
Bsides you said 2 accounts from neighbours and his ex. that 2 to 1 regardless. ur call. But I'd say walk.

Anonymous said...

What other confirmation do you need? You better don't be blinded by this thing you call love and do what you gotta do : run for your life.

Ijseraphie said...

Men can lie for Africa,I have first hand experience in that one,give him time for this to face out then push him to the wall,where he cannot hold back and see if he hits you,he has probably bin forming gentleman for you all these while,so you'll be deceived and enter fully after which,he'll unleash the beast in him,if I were you I'll believe the ex and once a beater always a beater!!! Men can lie,my ex can swear on anything and still be lying, so shun what he swore on biko, all Na wash!!!

Anonymous said...

its better u believe the woman. hardly will a woman make up just story. wait u will soon come back on dis blog to tell us how he nearly kill you. u better walk away. i am talking from experience. mine was even a pastor.

Malaysiame said...

Hmm my dear:) like you said why would a woman lie that her ex husband hit her??? If he did not hit her?? As for swearing with his children's life sweetheart forget it😂 I have been there before😉it makes no sense, a man has sworn with his sons life for me,👎 nothing happened, i wish you best of luck👍

Anonymous said...

The real question is why are you engaged only after 8months, that's not long enough to know someone's true color

Anonymous said...

Believe her...i left an ex cos of the same thing you just said though he was never married to her.

Bumblebug said...

There is no smoke without fire! There has to be a reason why she left the marriage in the first place. If u dont wanna be a victim then break it off ASAP. Word of advice: find a man that hasnt been married and doesnt have kids from before....much less complicated!
Good luck

Anonymous said...

One thing I have come to know about women is this. When a woman loves you, she will be willing to cut off her two arms for you. But when that same woman starts to hate you, she will spit on your grave. I will suggest you make more findings first before you decide to walk down the aisle with him. Love they say is blind but marriage opens the eyes.

Unknown said...

U should follow your @ and Fnk wisely, is either he's pretending or gave up beating woman.

Anonymous said...

He will so beat you, you will be dazed! Run!!!! Wife beaters never change !!!

Bumblebug said...

There is no smoke without fire. There has to be a reason why the lady left the marriage after 3 years and 2 kid. If you dont wanna be a victim, leave the relationship and find yourself a man whose never been married and doesnt have kids from before. Your life will be less complicated!

Anonymous said...

Carry out your own investigations.Find out where they lived as a couple and ask their former neighbours.Neighbours always know in cases of domestic violence.Also ask trusted family members of your fiance.Don't treat this rumour lightly.

Anonymous said...

It's a two way tin its either d man's ex wife is trying to destroy the relationship,cos there's always a trace of anger in a man from d beginning or the man is lying, bcos men would lie to be with a woman, another tin is ask his close family members, his mum or sis.

Unknown said...

Did she show you any evidence of abuse? If no then I suggest you investigate further she might just be looking for ways to destroy your marriage with her ex maybe as a pay back or jealousy...

Jojo said...

Watch him closely, u must believe all u hear. It could be true it may not be. Get him upset some day n watch his reaction... cos no matter how a lady gets a man provoked, a real man will never.......on no account raise his hands in a woman.

Anonymous said...

Honey, why become a 2nd wife?

Anonymous said...

Pls follow ur heart. Don't listen to the scorned woman. Do u honestly believe she's happy for you?

Anonymous said...

My dear na so e dey be o....I dated my hubby for about 6 years b4 marriage n he never laid a finger on me...bt we r barely married for 24months n dz guy has turned me to his punching bag moreso a womanizer cos he feels now hes got small money....u cannever know a mans real character till he has money...shine ur eyes biko

Unknown said...

D have told u who he is so u better run 4 ur life

Unknown said...

hmmm try to provoke him nd see hid reaction nd also pray abt it

Nnesky said...

Nwanne believe d womanoo ders no smoke witoit fire

Unknown said...

Believe the present.


OKORO UPGRADED**

Unknown said...

No smoke without fire

ama said...

Please believe the ex-wife, these men can paint themselves white just to get u. I once dated a guy that told me all sorts of lies about his ex. The day I saw d letter his ex left b4 she ran away, I almost cried. Left him after that

Anonymous said...

You are already engaged to a man you've only known for 8 months? I get the impression you are very anxious to be married. So what did you fiancé say was responsible for the breakup of his marriage? Why not go ahead, you can always leave the first time smacks you. Is he the only man available?

@dabeautyofdlord said...

It's a tough one, are u sure u kno d main reason why d ex left in d first and she's not scheming her way back in wit d help of his friend. Why don't u test him by annoying him and see if he'll try to or actually raise his hands at u

Slimy said...

Dino melaye's 2nd wife didnt believe d 1st wife, until she became d victim herself... Shine ur EYES.

Juleslouis said...

Keep snooping! D wife for obvious reasons might be lying. And in btw, some guys won't show their behaviour till they r fully married.

ifatoro said...

Dt mind d ladies,dey are working on u to leave d guy,beleive guy.and if truly he does u can work on him to stop d act,but I suspect d ex wife using dat to get u leave d guy.

Unknown said...

Either of them is lying try n provoke him to see d truth

Unknown said...

Either of them is lying try n provoke him to see d truth

Da rosy said...

You need to further your investigation.

ifatoro said...

Believe d guy,d ex wife is using dat to make u leave d guy.dt b a fool,and if later he turns out to a woman beater,u can work on him changing.

Oga oh said...

I feel he is lying....so here's what you do...

Push him!!!!!!

Push him to his limits...find something that irritates him and keep doing it, nag and be aggressive a bit when you guys have a quarrel, as in , get really angry and talk back in a saucy manner..

You need to push him hard to see what he's capable of..all the lovely veneer will thin out and the real person will emerge

I always did this with the any guy I ever dated to see how they would react when angry...and I have to say, none of them ever laid a hand on me even in the worst of circumstances...

And now I've been married for 10 years and I can proudly say that my hubby can never beat a woman...

You man already has a history so you need to be sure

Anonymous said...

Are u a Fool?? Make ursef d next victim all in d name of marriage,,,,hissssssssss....

Local chick said...

Well, people don't usually lie about these things, women don't usually leave with or without small children just because. He most likely has a history of domestic violence, whether you experience it with him depends on if you stay or leave.

Unknown said...

Madam,dont be in a rush to tie the knot.Take ur and know more about him.Ask other people that are not his ex wife's friend like their neighbours.Tread cautiously and follow ur instincts.Remember old habits die hard.Once a wife beater,always a wife beater.

Anonymous said...

Just see how stupid you sound. 2nd wife? How? So people have no right to simply move on with their lives even when their previous marriage has ended? You are a child though, you know no better

portable said...

Watch him closely n ask God to show u d way to go

Anonymous said...

My husband's previous marriage ended 6 years before we commenced our relationship. The previous marriage according to even other sources ended as a result of constant parental intrusion, squabbles that led to violence and she was a super woman who lived to slap and hubby was a typical African dude who would have nothing of sort. So they often beat themselves silly. I courted the same guy for 2 and half years and has been married to home for six years. We/He has never even gone above a bedroom shout on me. The same man had never hit me and he won't even dare (I must add that I a m a very peaceful woman too who had never seen my parents hit each other ever). My dear just pray and get a conviction if you should go ahead with the marriage or just opt out now. Ex wives are near evil (I'm sorry) because if it will take them lying to make their ex husbands pay dearly for leaving them or vice versa, they mostly do. I wish you the very best

Unknown said...

If you're a christian, you're not permitted to marry a man that has a living spouse no matter what. Only death can break the bond of marriage, so go and look for your own husband as they are still both married in the sight of God, despite their separation.

Unknown said...

I totally agree with your opinion, she should ask his neighbours (i.e if he still lives in the same house when he was married to his ex), bcos his ex might be jealous that the man is getting married and cooked up the story. She should ask the man what made them to divorce after just 3yrs of marriage, so as to know his own version of the story.

Anonymous said...

Dearest finest....u sound like an illiterate. Ur comment is so thoughtless and unrefined. I believe d writer said d man and his ex wife are divorced. Read and understand before u comment

Subomi said...

go ahead with your wedding lady

Unknown said...

Do something to really annoy him, then you would know. Linda take note!

Anonymous said...

I hope ur hubby is not Dino-mela........if u put ye na u sabi

Anonymous said...

You BETTER investigate. Unlike what wilhemmina and co are saying, you can not stop a man from beating you. Investigate before you become his 2nd ex wife.

Unknown said...

@e be like say u no get work.abi na book u wan write for here?

Unknown said...

Lmao.. abi oo. Lol

Pearl Jewels said...

Why say words like this. Habana it's not right at all. I do not blame u sha!!

Pearl Jewels said...

I live this advice too. Pushing is good, but with a single man please. I did this too and it worked for me. But like I said to a single man, she shld rather help them work tins out, after they are friends.

Pearl Jewels said...

Wow, not as easy as u tink dear. Once he lifts his hand in courtship, he will definitely land d hand a million times in marriage, trust me in this.

Pearl Jewels said...

To me the man is married because he has kids, so provoking an already married is pointless. She shld not waste her time on him, rather she shld him them fix their home.

Pearl Jewels said...

If u suspect she is doing that so u can leave her man, why not help get them back together, rather than fight, she would be forever be indebted to u.

Anonymous said...

I don't get women like you. You sound so uneducated. So a woman should try to avoid being beaten?should a sensible man be beating his wife in the first place? People like you are the ones that are aiding domestic violence, I feel sorry for you

Unknown said...

If u like be fooled by that beast, he swore with his kids life that he has never beat a woman, u will first of all ask ur self if he likes his kids, it's was a friend of d family that told u first before u confronted his ex wife and she also confirm it, use ur tongue to count ur teeth, investigate more, ask people around very well before embarking on such journey, good luck

Pearl Jewels said...

My dear if person mean u he or she will go all out. So solve ur issue urself and personally and not rubbish urself before anybody.

Pearl Jewels said...

Have just helped someone that asked you for help.

Pearl Jewels said...

Instinct is gd, every woman has it, in fact I will say it's a woman's power. I would say btw 1-5 yrs of marriage is a phase, especially if they dated short, but if they were friends, that is another type of phase. Btw 6-10yrs is another phase. So pls do not be surprised at d 3yrs tin. The truth is d ans lies within her. She shld tell herself d truth after questioning herself.

Unknown said...

Shez nt bothering yhu, all she wants is ur advice, yhu dnt ve 2 b rude. This is Matters of the heart (MOTH)

Anonymous said...

If you have to talk an ex words over your men then he doesn't deserves someone as dumb as you. Shoot yourself for asking such question

Anonymous said...

English hard

Unknown said...

hmm, tough decision oo but i think its better to flee oo than to become a victim nd who knows wat might happen...

Mama said...

Wilhelmina Moses you are the most idiotic comment or here....shameless lack of home training bitch....no manners and you never use your brain before commenting....always downing negative trash about people and stories....in your stupid retarded mind women who are battered cause it abi? Foolish goat....
Poster u better postpone that marriage....that man is a snake..he is just lying, when he marries you and thinks he owns you then he strikes..I don't care what a woman foes, you do nt beat a pregnant Wonsan except if u are on drugs....the ball is in your court

Anonymous said...

As long as divorce is legal in Nigeria, he's free of his ex wife. For people that abet men breaking the commandment "thou shall not commit adultery" by claiming they are polygamous in nature, y'all remember well the obscure biblical passages that keep folks saddled to bad relationships.

Unknown said...

Hmm my advice, he will neva show you his real colour till you guys get married and men that beat always have sugar coated mouth. Dont get married to him, invetigate deeply ask former neigbours, colleagues and friend and pray

Anonymous said...

Continue being engaged to someone else's husband o! Wife left with two kids and instead of reconciling his next step is to be engaged to you ba? And you sef are forming fiancée.

Please marry him quick so that he can beat some sense into your selfish, silly li'l head. When he beats you well, you will not know when you will pack and run with your own kids as well. Don't go and look for your own husband . Your reward awaits.

Anonymous said...

It is better you walk out of him now, because of what i have experienced , THREE WEEKS after wedding ,

before the wedding, everybody around me told me not to marry this wife beater,

but i told them that ,this man was a saint who can never hurt a rat. but i was wrong.

because , three weeks after we got married i lost twelve teeth

because i got the beating of my life in which i was in the hospital for weeks .

so ,i would advice you to start doing what will make him annoy , so that you get to know him better

Ina said...

Look for the ex's family and ask them. Or just purposely get on his last nerve one day. YAll probably Havnt had a heated argument.

Ina said...

Look for the ex's family and ask them. Or just purposely get on his last nerve one day. YAll probably Havnt had a heated argument.

tayo said...

u r a very foolish woman!

Best opinion said...

LILIAN ESORO IS THAT YOU?

Anonymous said...

Lol.... Na so... The ex loves her so very much

Anonymous said...

No man is mad that he wakes up from his sleep and just wants to beat a woman .. Don't ever give a man a reason to hit you .. Some women needs to be beaten ..Even Killed self .. But trust me .. Dont kill ooo.. You go rot for jail.. Just walk out.. A woman wey dey F**k your friend nko?

Pearl Jewels said...

He is only helping out sir/ma. I tink it's a free world, don't u tink so too?

Pearl Jewels said...

My dear I have also met women who are liars and some men can testify to it. It's a 2sided tin so pls don't be hurting over what u did not verify. As a woman d power is in ur hand. So if u hurt be cos a man lied to u and till now u have not let it gone, then an sorry u did nt do ur assignment well. Period. Pls stop hating.

Pearl Jewels said...

U see people are always saying woman was beaten bla, bla, bla, I will always maintain what did she do to warrant a beat from her husband? Every woman that is been beaten should sit down and ask themselves questions. The truth is some women I fear them sef. Even me why be woman. My dear God bless ur home.

Pearl Jewels said...

Why now, why d insult. Is it necessary? Why judge her. Na wa oh Nigerians

MY TURN said...

Lilian Esoro if that is YOU use your two legs and RUN FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR... I dated a man Elkanah Famir Buyengum the worst woman beater till date, even with my oil job providing for him he beat me black blue and all colours in between i know God is dealing with him now.

Anonymous said...

Pearl Jewels and other members of the 'there is a good reason why a man beat a woman club'. There is no justification for beating a woman. None! Just as there can be no excuse for killing someone who offends you. Violence is murder on a daily basis.

Being beaten can never be the fault of the person being abused. It is the ABUSER'S fault ! There is no excuse for violence and it is wicked thinking like yours that keeps many unfortunate women in bondage and gives menfolk the sense of entitlement to beat women. Anyone thinking like this is backward, ungodly and needs to repent. Stop it!

Unknown said...

ASK FROM OTHER SOURCE TO BE SURE

Anonymous said...

U also forgot to mention that he is married with kids. Oil company my foot. You are one horrible bitch. Stop this rubbish or else I will expose who you really are. EE

Anonymous said...

Please delete this post or else I will tell who u really are and what you do. E

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