Faking 'it' | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog





Thursday, 19 July 2007

Faking 'it'

I had a very interesting discussion today and I want to share it with y'all to get your opinion about it. This is a very touchy subject people hardly talk about...if you're under 18, or still a virgin, then don't read this o!lol

Those who know me very well know that I talk too much...I no get secret o...but worse than talking, I ask questions a lot. Sometimes I ask questions like an idiot, not because I don't know the answer, I just like hearing people's opinion about stuff.

So this very interesting woman came to my office today. Married since 21, 14 years of marriage, four lovely kids. We started off talking about business, then without meaning to we started talking about men and relationships and before we knew it, we got into the subject of sex.

In the course of this discussion she said something that puzzled me. This thirty something year old married woman said she's never had an orgasm. Been sexually active for seventeen years, but NEVER had an orgasm.

I've heard a few people, especially women, say sex is overrated. A particular friend back then always said that God created sex for men...Before I started having sex, (Pls don't tell my mum o, she still thinks I'm a virgin lol) I was friends with someone who told me that sex for women was only for procreation...those who weren't doing it to make babies, were doing it for money...or just doing it to please their men... it was never for enjoyment...because there was nothing to enjoy in it, especially if you're circumcised.

The belief by some is that once your clitoris has been cut off (Which is what happens in female circumcision, right?), the tendency to enjoy sex is minimised. This opinion kept me away from sex till late in life.

I and all my five sisters were circumcised and I remember once asking my older sis (that one na ogbologbo lol) if she enjoyed sex, she answered a big YES! But most circumcised women hardly give direct answers. Most of them always say enjoying sex depends on the man you're having sex with.

So I was curious about the kind of man that is not able to make his wife cum even once in fourteen years of marriage...is it even his fault? This particular woman was circumcised...do we blame circumcision?

I asked if her husband knew she's never had a real orgasm, she said he can't ever know because she always...FAKES ORGASM. Been faking it for fourteen years. Whaaat! This was a bit hard to swallow..how can you fake orgasm for 14 years?

Then she said something that got me all riled up. She said...MOST WOMEN FAKE ORGASM! Most women fake orgasm? Women is that true? I remember hearing once that some women only enjoy sex with men they love and for a second I thought maybe that was why this lady had never had an orgasm. She was quick to correct that impression. In fact she said, her love for him was actually why she fakes orgasm. She said women in love are more likely to fake orgasm because she cares about the man's feeling.

So why hasn't she brought up the subject with her husband I asked her...she said many men would be hurt if they knew their partners were faking it so she and many women like herself choose to ignore the subject and stick to the acting they've mastered over time.

I read somewhere that 72 percent of women fake orgasm and 55 percent of men say they can tell when their partner's faking. If 72% women fake it and 55% men think they can tell when a woman is faking, then the women are either overestimating their acting ability or the men are overestimating their perceptiveness.

I think if any woman is faking orgasm, the motivation must be to avoid causing feelings of sexual inadequacy in her partner. Unfortunately most people don't openly discuss sex in general, and orgasm in particular, especially in this part of the world, therefore, not all men are aware of the possibility of faking an orgasm, while others can't separate the real from the fake, a few don't particularly care, as long as they have enjoyed themselves.

Personal question; have you ever faked an orgasm? If you have, why did you do it? Is there any woman out there who falls in the same category with the woman I was talking to today? If yes, have you ever discussed your inability to reach a real orgasm with your husband? why have you never discussed it?

Why do women fake it? How do you know what to do to convince a man you're enjoying him when you're not. During orgasm the breath becomes heavy, how do you fake that? Can men really tell when a woman fakes it?

Have I ever faked it? Let me think...naaaah! He was too 'big' for me to fake it. lol. God please don't let my mum see this post, pls, pls, pls! lol

Please send in your opinion about this topic. Hopefully there's no underage reading this blog. Would love to know what you think.


Anonymous said...

i have faked it many times, as the woman said , this is to make the man feel good that he has fully satisfied me, u get skilled at faking after doing it many times. if u have experienced a real orgasm you just need to that action

Anonymous said...

No big deal. I think we girls fake it at some point or another. It has nothing to do with enjoying sex. Its just logical that we can't climax everytime we have sex. My ex used to try to make me have an orgasm every single time we had sex. it happened sometimes but other times I just faked it.I tried to convince him that making love to me was good enough(most days). But him being a typical alpha male was having none of that. So what's a girl to do!!

Unknown said...

Linda...u don kill man pikin oooo...no comment am going blind cos i be under age:)))

Anonymous said...

BTW, how do you feel about your circumcision or FGM? Its clear it does not affect your sex life. Are you resentful that this was done to you?

Toni Payne said...

A big lol @ his topic.. She should have test drove the goods before buying it. I think the problem is some women dont even know what pleases them or are maybe afraid to explore and it doesnt help if your lover is selfish or closed minded. I always wonder about people who have multiple partners over a short period of time. I think you have to take the time to study each other, and learn what pleases the other to truly attain sexual fulfilment ( Linda u got me blowing oyinbo here o. lol). I have pre u no what rules, master what I like during foreplay and we can advance to the next level. lol. Its not always about how fast you can u no, or if you think you killed it... hehe im blushing

flawsandall said...

lol at "pls dont tell my mummy"..
Ok I am still a virgin, well technically. my hymen has not been broken, never been penetrated..I have had oral sex and had an orgasm the first time I did it. since then, I have not been able to achieve orgasm after that time. I faked an orgasm one time so he wont feel bad or maybe twice..I doubt it has anything to do with him, I think its me just thinkin to hard. the first time I had oral sex, I was not expecting it so happen so I guess thats why I had an orgasm

Anonymous said...

Nice one Linda! I tot I was the only female who has no apologies(except where there are unaged of course)when it comes to speaking about sex....Have I had an orgasm in my 5 years of service???BIG NO!! Have I faked an orgasm? Hell YEAH! But with someone with a big mouth like mine, One day I laid it bare to my boyfriend (at that time) when he was complaining about how bad he feels when we have sex and he does not take me there...."the way he did the first and only time I had an orgasm with him"..I looked at him and said he should wake up from his slumber cos I just faked it since he really wanted me to reach one...Anyway, since then, I have learnt to warn my boyfriend and trust me, he tries like he is tryna win a gold medal in the olympics...But anyway...I wish him luck..I have researched really hard to realize that those females who claim to reach orgasms do so cos they think about reaching it and medically speaking it is possible for a female to reach one by just thinking about it during sex... Without living in denial a lot of us do fake our orgasms...and like this woman said, I am actually one of those who think that sex is overrated...
Cos when I have an itch to scratch, and I succeed in scratching it, it ends there...After that moment, it ends right there....I could go on and on Linda but I rest my case here..KIP UP THE GUD JOB!

Anonymous said...

Can I have your mum's email address or telephone number? I have something important to gossip to her LOL,

Hiya, was told about your blog by a friend yesterday so visiting it for the 1st time and what a topic, well I think you would have to ask my wife if she fakes it, I would hope not though, but what the hell, if only we lived in a so perfect world of course I would be the ultimate stud in it :) As long as I am the ultimate stud in my wife's world, then I am cool.

Have to say I am horrified to read about the female circumcision bit, for me such a sad and ugly tradition.

Hopefully some women who read this article will learn a thing or 2 & go forth to find that illusive orgasm, men, realize women are not just there to procreate for you. Why should sex be a one way street? Go forth, make your woman REALLY scream with joy. lol


Moody Crab said...

Linda...you've come again, lol. Abt faking it, I don't know. I guess some people can't have orgasm through penetration alone. Hence, the reason for sex toys. But considering the fact that we are talking about Naija, sex toys might probably be looked upon as sinful or a taboo. That means some women would have to settle for sex without orgasm and in other not to hurt their partners, they fake it.

But for 14 years?!?! That is too much.

Dgirl said...

faking it is very real trust me....i have had to do that in d past just to make my man feel good n alot of ladies i knw also do the same....
d guys are too engrossed in the action that they hardly ever notice that u fake an orgasm thats y most of them never find out...
for me now though i will never fake an orgasm anymore cos if my man dont take me there i will definitely let him knw n save myself the torture knwing he is satisfied n am not....

Dgirl said...

faking it is very real trust me....i have had to do that in d past just to make my man feel good n alot of ladies i knw also do the same....
d guys are too engrossed in the action that they hardly ever notice that u fake an orgasm thats y most of them never find out...
for me now though i will never fake an orgasm anymore cos if my man dont take me there i will definitely let him knw n save myself the torture knwing he is satisfied n am not....

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

i av faked it many times with my hubby, there have been a few times that i did have an orgasm, but i agree that sex is overrated.

I love ur blog linda.This is one blog where I learn new things everytime.

Keep doing u ma

olubukola said...

In female circumcision its the vagina lips that are removed and not the clitoris.

The best way for a lady to enjoy sex is to start with a lot of foreplay before the actual penetration act.When ther's a lot of forepaly you'll reavh an orgasm during penetration.

Different styles work for different people.There's a particular way for everyone that makes u reach an orgasm.Its just that most nigerian ladies are ashamed to discuss with their partners.Why fake it, sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners.

Anonymous said...

I have had an orgasm while having penetrative sex once so i know its achieveable and not as elusive as it seems but most times I FAKE and yes I dont want to hurt him thats why I fake.But thanks Linda for bringing up this subject so i guess, enough of the bullsht I'm telling him and we will start all over again and hopefully he wont be too hurt such that he wont be able to get it up and for once in 4+ years i will sing for really.

Anonymous said...

annon-i'm going to assume you are a guy-

in simple english, no wikipedia here-

an orgasm is the equivalent of when you ejaculate into ur woman during sex-its the release when u cant take the pleassure anymore!

it feels so,so good...if you are a guy and having being doing that then you know how good it feels...hwr though women dont nec. ejaculate they do reach that point of pleasure when they 'cant take it' again- then they have an orgasm-in short,its the sexual peak of sex...full stop-any guy worth he's koko should work with his woman to give her the same pleasure-like dear suby said-thats the real union-bith gotta get it-

that said women are diff from men so theyu wont always have one, you just gotta be unselfish,women rarely leave a guy who gives good sex-grab?

Finally,i'm assuming we are alltalking about sex btw married ppl cos all this 'test droving' the car,i'm sure was not wot God had in mind o!!

-guess we cld all use the single/relationship stage to research the car-kinda like if u had Gold(ur body) and you wanted to make a piece of jewelry, u wldnt keep testing it and whitling down ur material, you wld do all the research w/o wasting the metal so that you go ahead and make that one masterpiece-s/he who has ears...

Unknown said...

*reads the topic, smiles and shakes head, smiles again and leaves*

Anonymous said...

i have only had sex with 2 men. I am married now. I faked orgasm for my first boyfriend all thru that relationship and in fact i didnt even know what orgasm was until i met this dude i am married to.

i ve had orgasms over and over and over again and i mean over and over and over again and but not all the time.

If i dont cum, i dont have to fake it with my husband, u know why??? its a big challenge for the next round.

Moody Crab said...

@Olabukola: There are 3 (in some cases 4) types of circumcision and the other extreme versions involves the cutting of the libia minora and majora, clitoris and in the most extreme case, the stitching up ofthe vagina.

Yinka Olugbade said...

Did your mama told you not to play with fire?

Anyway, big thumb up for you. Next time talk to the guys about it. Not thatyou have done justice on it yet. It might just give you a new vista on the issues.

But you get liver o.

Anonymous said...

For me personally, i've always been active right from when i was 15,16 years of age. And so, any thought of a sexual with a man i fancy always turn me on and when it comes to having sex with dat man, i always come.

Yinka Olugbade said...

How do i handle this fire without getting my finger burnt?

Orgasm is a sensation of intense pleasure creating an altered consciousness state accompanied by pelvic striated circumvaginal musculature and uterine/anal contractions and myotonia that resolves sexually-induced vasocongestion and induces well-being/contentment.

Orgasms vary from person to person - there is no 'natural' or typical orgasm; some women need direct clitoral stimulation (touching of the clitoris) during sex in order to have an orgasm, others don't. Not every sexual encounter - masturbatory or with a partner - has to climax with an orgasm. 'Coming together' is not as common as sexual 'gossip' would have us believe - most partners have mutual orgasms only occasionally, some couples never do. In their youth, a majority of women find reaching orgasm hard - as they get older and become more sexually experienced, it becomes easier. Sexual intercourse alone, that is, penetration of a woman's vagina by a man, may be sufficient to bring the man to climax. But it very often is not enough to make a woman reach orgasm and this is what most people do - in fact it is very common for a woman not to have an orgasm if her only sexual stimulation is intercourse. An orgasm is much more likely to eventuate if both partners are relaxed and happy about having sex together, are 'turned-on' by each other and are able to arouse and excite each other in ways that are mutually satisfying. The inability to experience an orgasm is a common sexual problem, especially so with women. To question on whether orgasm is the most important part of sex for the women is like asking the man to hold on his essesnce. Roughly 1 in 10 women (and this could be a conservative estimate) report never having an orgasm and this isnot because oof the size or position.

Sex is in the brain.

Let's just say that sex as most people think is more than about size or position. If that is acceptable, then, it is easy to lock it down that attaining orgasm is basically about knowledge. Wanting it and having someone who is in total of you getting it.

Let me to stop here.

Anonymous said...

The questions that beg to be asked are these: Can't a woman actually enjoy sex without the "big O"? Must orgasms be the be-all and end-all of love-making? Aren't we getting a tad too carried away with cosmo and the likes?


Anonymous said...

FGM/circumcision can include removal of the clitoris (Olubukola-take note). Some cases are really severe (involving removal of entire external genitalia and then sewing everything up, leaving only a hole for urine and when u get your period. Don't know how severe yours was Linda but female circumcision, regardless of severity really gets a bad rep. glad to know you still enjoy sex.
...for anon asking about an orgasm, when you experience one, you'll know. clitoral stimulation is more likely to get you there instead of penetration since you haven't experienced one yet. Get on top of your man next time and with his every thrust, move in unison making sure his shaft hits your clitoris(so he almost slips outside of you each time but not quite)this is sure to take you to pure bliss. if this fails, buy a dildo and explore, explore, explore. good luck!

Unknown said...

No disrespect to naija women ooo but i have a question... as Olubukola has stated...Why most nigerian ladies are ashamed to discuss sex with their partners? Is it becos of naija men mentality or attitude or what? i think in an ideal society sex ain't big deal it's to be enjoyed and discussed with ur man abi na lie? That's why i have preference for white chicks they are free and frank when it comes to sex topic...Let's talk about sex baby ,let's talk about sex!

Anonymous said...

have i faked it? yes. have i had orgasm? yes. However like most women i can only have an orgasm when my clitoris is stimulated and not from peneration (although this has happened only once) . I however dont feel the need to fake again as i had a 'serious conversation' with my husband and explained to him that i cant have an orgasm thru peneration. However most of my female friends have never had an orgasm b4.

On another related matter, is it normal to get tired after one round of sex? I have noticed that after the first round, i totally lose interest in sex and get dry. I also get dry if my guy takes a long time in coming. Is this normal? The general idea is that women can have as many rounds as possible and the longer a guy stays, the better for them. Is this true OR is this a lie made up by a male fantasy?

cunni4real said...

If a guy knows what he is doing,a woman must reach orgasm instead of faking it. In fact we(men) should not be selfish and don't allow the woman not to climax after we have. As for me, i do cunnilingus always with a woman. This makes a lady cum several times. Its my trademark. sex to me is not complete until i do cunnilingus with the woman and it has never failed me.Its a must 'cum' tool.A trial with me will convince any body lol. Has any lady here ever tried it?If no, then let your man stick his tongue down below.

Idemili said...

HA. I stopped reading where you said you were circumcised. I may need to speak to you about something I'm doing. I'll drop you an email.

Well, Linda, not all women ahve the good fortune of being able to have a 'penetrative' orgasm. I know I'm not. Pound all day and all night, glide, slide, ride till you die, nothing will happen with me. However, nuzzle my clit a little bit and you'll drown. If you cut off said woman's clitoris, where will she be?

On the other hand, since it''s been said that arousal has nothing to do with the clit but rather with the brain [which then trasferes said feelings to the clit, causing it to be engorged with blood etc etc]I'm sure her hubby should [if she lets him know and when/if he gets over the feelng of inadequacy]be able to engage her mind.

E go hard o, if she is a clitoral woman a la Masters and Johnson, even if they have been proven wrong. I don't know what other terms to define the orgasms by.

Sorry, I'm not supposed to be doing this here so I'm rushing through the response and not making sense.

Anonymous said...

@Olubukola there are different types of female circumcision. In some the lips are cut, in some the clit.
I'll get you something to read.


Anonymous said...

Some women get orgasms, some don't and the reasons really, really do vary. It could be their sexual partner, it could be them or it could be the situation.

Linda said she has always enjoyed sex and orgasms so i really can't understand why a lot of people are shocked about her being circumcised. I do believe that circumcision should be stopped and is unnecessary though! But Linda is in her 20's so that was a long time ago. Many of my friends and a few of my young cousins are circumcised.

I'm not circumcised and i'm 26. I've been in a 6 year relationship and have enjoyed many orgasms. In a previous and brief relationship i did not have ONE single orgasm. Needless to say i wasn't free with him and this may have been a contributory factor together with his vile attitude.

So please, people using the expression HA! because someone decided to be open with fellow bloggers should be avoided.

I love Linda's blog, she's so open about everything.

Anonymous said...

I don't worry about the women faking it, I'm getting mine and that's what matters!! If she doesn't get hers..that's her lost. I'm not using up unneeded energy trying to prove my endurance, we started the race at the same time, if I finish before her, she needs to keep up! The early bird always get the worm....


Anonymous said...

Hilarious to say the least. Except the FGM part. I'm glad my folks kept their all-female descendants clear of those pratices.

@Nanjaboy: with that article wey you write ...na your forte be this?*wink* lol and lmao.

@tj the actor: I think a lot of African/Nigerian women in our generation (18-35 years)talk about sex with their partners. For others that don't they'd rather spend their time with the practicals than the theory aspect and they are both somewhat in agreement on that. If one person pulls the gun, I guess the other will follow through on a talk.And I do agree; let's talk about sex.

Hopefully these uncovered 'sexperiments' are held within the context of marriage as we know is right.
The reality: ...Look into your 16 years old daugther's/niece's/cousin's eyes.

Linda here's a huggy for you and your informative posts.

Anonymous said...

this is the first time i'll read anything on this topic in blogsville and i have learnt alot.i am 19 but still a virgin i was also circumcised but i have no sexual experience but i am learning with all your comments.linda u r my idol.

Anonymous said...

your honesty is intoxicating.like Chude rightly said, your blog might just renew one's hope in the human spirit. I love you girl but ur mama must hear u have done it, even with a big one.chei ine.u rawk abeg

Anonymous said...

Question: Should a woman who can not achieve orgasm by masturbating expect to achieve same with a guy?

My poser is because most naija women are so ignorant about their e spots, they wouldn't find it with a map (with or without circumcision).

Now if she could masturbate, she could always finish it off herself.

Che-e-ly said...

Ok, I had to go thru the entire responses to give my response. Forgive my views if they offend you. Everything put down here are my words, without any reference to any research; simply my personal experiences and observation.

Sex, orgasm and MFG.

Sex is, in my opinion, very overrated. It is often expressed in hyperboles. If you are very observant, like me, you will know that the excitement of sexual experience/experimentation from one (fe)male to the other is essentially based on the perception, or lust, of what is created in the mind. This perception then mixes with the expertise, curiosity; or inexperience of the other person. At this point, your management of the intercourse is what determines the end result; orgasm or no orgasm.

Orgasm is the capping up of each round of sex as it is agreed to be the highest singular point of excitement thus, causing a pause, break or end of a sexual intercourse. Now, orgasm can be achieved by multiple means for both men and women. It is inappropriate to believe that sex is the only way to achieve orgasm for men, or women. Then, achieving it depends on how we go about it. Women who want to climax during sex, fist, have to be more relaxed about it—it comes naturally. I have had a countless host of women and, believe me, most times, women initiate the process of their orgasm and the man assists. There have been cases where the women took the entire pleasure as they found their ‘angle’ and stuck to it through out the session and just ‘unplugged’ when they were done. Some more experienced ones oscillate between their angle and the man’s to balance the pleasure and jointly achieve the ultimate. But in reality, most women indulge in sex because they want to satisfy their men, not necessarily because they want to have, and enjoy, sex. This usually tends the pleasure toward men and shouldn’t be. Men, on the other hand, often care more about themselves than their partners. This may be because arousing a woman to the ‘height’ can truly be long and cumbersome, especially when the man’s raging like a bull. He just can’t wait!

As for faking it, I know my girlfriend, whom I truly love and ensure to give my ‘all,’ has tried not to ‘downplay’ my performance but she’s fair enough to help sustain me through the next time. I am not the best sexually active man but I have almost always ensured a ‘dual passage’ for future reference. This helps the philanthropic amongst us men but best serves when we settle to one in the end.

Also, quite painfully, men who usually fail to satisfy their partners often have trails of rampant infidelity. They fail because they are often too tired to give the best. Secondly, some men consider sex a duty so; they just perform it and pull out! Sometimes, these men really ‘perform’ to the wonder of their women. Ultimately, the truth will help better bonding and salvage the current sexual bondage. Both ways, partners should tell the truth without complaining or dampening the other’s spirit. This might greatly enhance the experience.

For MFG, I really can’t say much though I don’t think I support it. But I ask men to support the cause against it. It might be the only place you can satisfy your woman, orgasmic support!

Anonymous said...

Women, learn to "love" yourself. If penetration does not do it for you, use the pressure from a running shower head, ( the telephone variety) or remove the head and apply direct pressure from the hose ( You can paralyze yourself from this, LOL),rub against a pillow, put your wrapper btw your legs and rub away, use your fingers and rub away...watch some porn and adapt it to what makes you feel good , get a book, or read about it online, Geez.graphic I know but some people are unbelievably ignorant about sex, yet continue to do it.That is for clitoral orgasm,as for the other big "O" I can not provide information on that since I have not experieced it.I do find pleasure in penetrative sex ,especially just before he comes, but I never go over. If ur man is as open as mine is, then get a vibrator, not a dildo. Even get a vib that is NOT in the shape of a penis if you fear someone(*cough*your mother) might find it.
I enjoy penetrative sex and my husband tries,(Lord knows he tries), he actually will beg to eat me first, and enjoys giving me pleasure, but I still cannot cum with cunnilingus, probably because I like a stronger pressure.
Do I fake it? Rarely cos he will last until I come ( and I take my sweet time) and if I am not in the mood to use a vibrator DURING
( you have to be flexible to do this, Scissors anyone?) then I fake it cos he is happy,when I am happy.
I know,TMI, but I am happy I am married to an openmided Naija man.

Anonymous said...

Im more surprised that you and your sisters were all circumcised cos I often think that the stats on nigeria are exaggerated. I guess I wouldnt know cos its something ppl dont talk about. I think faking is pointless especially if you'e never had one, unless ofcourse you dont care to have one.

Unknown said...

truth said.. thank you truth for your true and concise answer to my question....have a nice weekend. but i go still report Linda to hin Mommie ooo she don dey teach man more about sexducation! now man don dey feel horny reading all this nice posts..

psykotikdiva said...

i started having sex really early, i'm ashamed to admit it,but i was too young to grasp the intensity of such an act,but when i turned 18 i strted having orgasm and have remained multi orgasmic since then but i still have my off days and then i fake it just to make my partner feel good.

Anonymous said...

Linda, see wetin u cause.

Anonymous said...

OMG, sex definitely sells!..lol

41 responses already??? This is the bigggest response u've gotten in a while...and lookn at the topic, i know y!

Hate me if u like, but i have the most sensitive body ever...almost n e thing makes me climax...from neckn to boob suckn..i am really that sensitive, so sorry! i can't relate! lol


Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, i just read some of the reader's comments...ummm..una sorry o, but i do cum whether penetratively, clitorially, breasterially, neckingly, dry-humpingly...yes, dry-humping! lol...i feel so evil rubbing it in ur faces....but seriously, i feel its a psychological thing...it's all about where u r mentally...if u know u dont climax easily, u might wanna think some dirty, perverted thoughts if possible...since sex is such a forbidden topic in our society, i tend to imagine some forbidden or scandalous things during intercourse, and that works for me esp. during vaginal intercourse. I might imagine my partner and i getting it on on the dance floor....at a public place...pretend that we r other pple doing something forbidden...etc...but it always has to do with gettn caught, and trust and believe that sends me off the roof! so u guys might wanna think about playn with ur imaginations and fantasizing while having sex.

LMAO @ Idemili, gurl u r funny! i'ma have to start reading ur blog o.


Anonymous said...

I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER FAKE AN ORGASM. If a guy doesn't perform well...I let him know and give him tips.IF he's persistently bad...I don't bother. I'm married now and don't need to fake it. If I'm satisfied sexually...my husband knows it...he also knows when I"m not. I believe sexual honestly is very important.Guys perform sex for pleasure and I believe women should too. Why do some women shortchange themselves by expecting anything less? I don't get it. As much as I love my husband I would NEVER fake it. I see it as deceit and honesty is very important in our
relationship.He is also honest with me about if he's enjoying sex or not. MY question is aren't women who get into the habit of constantly faking it sexually dissatisfied in the long run?For women who have never had orgasms masturbation helps you discover your own body and what arouses you and helps you have better sex.I'm a doctor and that's the first treatment we recommend for anorgasmia.

Idemili said...

For the anon chastising me, I'm sure I did not mean it in the way you are referring. I did not mean to make Linda feel bad at all and I'm not criticising her for being open. Who am I to? Have you read my blog?LAWL

I was just shocked by the fact of the circumcision itself, not by the fact that she was talking about it.

Yes, I believe women should masturbate. God knows I started that when I was about 7, shit, I know my vulva and clit in and out, blindfolded. My vagina however is relatively new territory.

Please buy a vibrator not a dildo. First port of call, the clit. Explore...explore!

Anonymous said...

I think a lot of Nigerian women are not intune with their bodies. they don't know what turns them on, they don't know what feels good. I think a woman needs to know what will make her cum. Touch your body, and see if you can have an orgasm. to make it more fun... touch urself while ur partner looks on, without him touching u. hmmm... lol. let me stop. too many innocent minds here.

I think having an orgasm is an awesome experience. No doubt, women fake it onces in a while, I included, (mostly when u are just having sex for him and not necessarily because you want too, at the same time, there have ben times were i couldn't be bothered to fake it and let him know he didn't hit the spot). One thing is for sure, if you know and have experienced an orgasm, you WILL want to keep at it.. cause it feels soooo good.

In addition, it is possible to cum while having sex. I find it easier for me when i am on top and have my clit stimulated ... I am married and I am one of the few women who communicated my sexual needs and desires to my husband... have fun with it. It is a two way thing, so keep the communication line open.

Ms. Catwalq said...

*Catwalq realises that she has not much to say*
*she thinks "some people are really missing out"*

Femme said...

in a reserch amongst friends i found that the only girls to have orgasms were the ones adept at pleasing themselves, but only one that had achieved orgasm had masturbated. and at leat 70percent have never had an orgasm.
i dont know about size but i understand how communication helps even though the state of mind sometimes is just not up to it.

Anonymous said...

Couples should generally be open with their partners on the issue of sex and orgasm. You should communicate whatever rocks your world and let your partner set you on fire.
Pounding a woman a mile a minute may not be the required effort for the orgasm, it could be a simple, gentle touch, air in the hole or even a deep kiss laced with other tricks.
A woman that is married for 14years with no orgasm will end up with more issues the day she plays the field and into the hands of a pro.
I am adventurous and focused on making my partner happy but I am not a machine and wont hit a home run all the time. I know when the job is not finished and don't need the woman to fake it.

Anonymous said...

interesting topic.this blog is real

Anonymous said...

Have i faked an orgasm? yes when i was a lot younger. plenty of times i did that. Ive learnt one thing. IT IS FOLLY! I met my then boyfriend who is now my husband and luckily one heck of a good a lay. The sex is great.Dude leaves me gasping and begging. i kid you not. But there are those days when i just dont get there. do i fake it. No. I think guys would rather you told them what you wanted exactly how you wanted it. They really want to please you. SPEAK UP IN BED.that is step one. What is life without orgasms? TUFIAKWA!

spoiltforchoices said...

Men never have that problem of not being able to speak up in bed. They tell you exactly what they want and how they want it. Even if it means you'll be bent like a pretzel just so he penetrates at the angle thats best for him! **Sigh** Women should stop suffering in silence. If it doesnt feel good, say so. If it feels great heck say so! That way he'll know what you like and do it more often.
That said, i know men fake orgasms too. After thrusting forever they just cant go on.hehehe! It goes both ways.
If you have been circumcised, my heartfelt apologies. Some may never experience that high. It has been made biologically impossible for them (horrors!)For others, depending on the degree of mutilation there is hope yet!

Anonymous said...

yeah, faked it a few times...like when we have phone sex. I can't hold the phone & play along, so after we hang up I really get down to business.

Also faked it when bf was just pounding his life away. Like all night...I got tired & I fell asleep. When I heard him cumming..I immediately woke up & joined him in the oouuhh and aaaahhhs. Such is life. Chikena.

Anonymous said...

am really surprised about the comments frm naija guys hia, that i have read, plus they are really into pleasing their partners sometimes( we all knw dat it doesnt happen all the time).
i neva achieved an orgasm from penetrative sex its only being by touching myself.
i have been quite close when i have being sucked but neva went over.
as par fakin it.... i do dat quite a lot cos i dnt wnt to hurt the guy's feelings.
but ladies, i knw u cant achieve dat high all the tyme (as for thos that do am fumin jealous u lucky sluts! lol!, but of late am not goin 2 settle for less or fake it no more....
am goin to be more open about what i want after all, it works both ways.
thanks linda....keep up the bloggin, liberate naija gals.... God knws mani need outlets like these 2 voice out their opinions....

Unknown said...

Your post is most choijeble.Take my cordial love. I am very interested to watch your valuable work.
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Vijay Kumar said...

Hey linda your topic will match the background of your blog and this is very hot topic you have choosen,

Now i want to say faking it is very real trust me....i have had to do that in d past just to make my man feel good n alot of ladies i knw also do the same....
d guys are too engrossed in the action that they hardly ever notice that u fake an orgasm thats y most of them never find out...
for me now though i will never fake an orgasm anymore cos if my man dont take me there i will definitely let him knw n save myself the torture knwing he is satisfied n am not....

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