"Our struggles births so much character and strength" Toke Makinwa opens up about her grief, healing, book and friendship with Bonang Matheba

In an interview with The Sowetan's Londiwe Dlomo, media personality Toke Makinwa, who recently wrapped up her South African book tour in Hyde Park Johannesburg talked about her friendship with Bonang Matheba and the writing of her book which she describes as therapeutic. 

The 34- year -old vlogger had all the guests at the Courtina Court enthralled as she spoke about her book titled ‘On Becoming’. She laid out her experiences with grief, betrayal, marital problems and her eventual healing.

Makinwa describes herself as a deeply spiritual person and the type of woman who always has sunglasses in her purse to cover the ‘bags under my eyes’. These are caused by lack of sleep due to her hectic schedule.

“Toke is your girl next door, your sista girl in your head, absolutely loves life, loves people, loves family and is passionate about living and impacting lives,” she elaborates.

The self-proclaimed champagne lover and serial ‘bruncher’ loves to relax and take it all in.

“I’m at that moment in my life where I now stop to smell the coffee and I’m thankful and I’m grateful and I pray that this continues.”

She describes writing her book, which navigates her broken marriage and her healing, as being therapeutic. She said she had to revisit certain places in her life that she ‘didn’t know she had ‘baggage’ from, which left her liberated and healed.

The biggest lesson she learned and she hopes her readers take away from it is that they can rewrite their own story.

“Life is in phases and stages and no matter what you’re going through it’s never going to last. Every bad time gives way for the good times and we cannot only focus on the good times because then we’re being selfish. The bad times are there to teach us; we can only learn in those bad times and we can take those lessons and control our narratives as we go forward.”

On her friendship with Bonang

A lot of South Africans who were not aware of Makinwa were introduced to her by Bonang Matheba. Makinwa states that she and Matheba are ‘kindred spirits’; the two became close over social media.

“Bonang is one of the loveliest people I have ever met. She’s driven, she’s focused and we kind of had similar traits and I think that’s why we connected. To have someone who is doing so well yet look out for you and tell you ‘hey girl we can do this and do that’. We can just sit and talk about work for 4- 5 hours and inspire ourselves.”

She also shared that she was the one who gave Matheba the name Adebimbe. Adebimpe means ‘the crown’

When asked to impart some words of encouragement for her fan base, she had this to say:

“Our struggles birth so much character and strength. We need to be aware of the universe, pay attention to everything that is happening around you, you don’t want to miss it because it might actually help you shape your future.”

She ended our interview by stating how warmly she was received by the people of South Africa. She exclaimed that she is grateful and surprised that so many people were familiar with her and her work. She expressed her wish that Nigeria and South Africa find more ways to collaborate.

“You guys are amazing the culture is rich the people are warm, I’ve never seen anything like this before in my life. It’s humbling just to see that, I never thought that this many people would know who I am. To have them push you, give you words of encouragement and support you deeply and truly shows that we are Africans and there’s no barrier.