'You’re 52yrs old, Johnny (Depp) and it’s time to start acting like it - before you turn into a fat old lonely weirdo'- Pierce Morgan writes | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Thursday, 26 May 2016

'You’re 52yrs old, Johnny (Depp) and it’s time to start acting like it - before you turn into a fat old lonely weirdo'- Pierce Morgan writes

His wife of 15 months filed for divorce on May 22nd and now everyone has an opinion about the 52 year old legendary actor. Below is what UK Daily Mail's Editor-at-Large, Pierce Morgan thinks...
Dear John(ny), It’s time for an intervention. As your latest marriage, to actress Amber Heard, collapses in ugly high-profile divorce after just 15 months, your moment of reckoning has arrived. We don’t know each other, but I feel like I know you better than perhaps you currently know yourself. The problem with being a movie star of such magnitude is that it’s often very easy to disappear up inside the self-adulatory bowels of one’s own ‘genius’.


We’re a year apart in age – you’re 52, I’m 51 - but we’re a world apart in every other way.
You look in the mirror each morning, and you see Johnny Depp, impossibly handsome, absurdly sexy, ludicrously gifted, hugely popular global star.
I look in the mirror each morning, and see Piers Morgan, sadly lurking at a slightly different end of the impossibly handsome, absurdly sexy, ludicrously gifted, hugely popular global star spectrum.
So I get it, I can see why it must be bloody difficult to be even vaguely normal when every man you meet wants to go for a beer with you, and every woman wants to go to bed with you.
The sheer volume of painfully sycophantic guff which must spew your way in every waking hour of the day would tip most of us over the edge of humility.
You go to Starbucks and everyone sighs, faints or just stands, glass-eyed and paralysed, reciting the words ‘It’s Johnny f**ing Depp!’ over and over like a demented love-struck robot.
But the problem with fame on your level is it often becomes poisonously corrosive.
It takes your soul and crushes it into a broken slab of deadened vacuity.
When you can have sex with whomever you like and party with your fellow louche heroes like Keith Richards, Marilyn Manson and the late Hunter S Thompson whenever you desire, the fun of real life ceases to exist.
No more thrill of the chase, no more joy in the quiet, solid friendship of somebody non-famous.
I remember when you played the older, LSD-addled Thompson in the movie of his iconic book, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and he told you after seeing it, “it was like an eerie trumpet call over a lost battlefield.”
That’s going to be you, Johnny, if you’re not very, very careful; an aimless bugler looking back with nothing but regret for what he should and could have done to win the battle of life.
I’ve no idea what happened between you and Amber, and I don’t care.
It’s your marriage, your business.
But I could sense it was doomed from the moment I saw that pathetic video you released after the now infamous dog-smuggling case in Australia.
Your joint thespian egos conspired to secretly bring your Yorkshire terriers Pistol and Boo on your private jet into a country which has had big problems with rabies.
The punishment for ‘normal’ people in such cases is rightly draconian: a heavy fine and prison sentence of up to ten years.
After Amber was charged with various offences, you joked you’d killed your dogs and eaten them ‘under direct orders from some kind of sweaty big-gutted man from Australia.’
Despite this appalling, justice-mocking arrogance, she escaped with a $1000 fine and a one-month ‘good behaviour’ bond.
Rather than be eternally grateful to Australia’s star-worshipping judges, you instead chose to mock them again by filming a self-promoting parody apology with Amber.
I didn’t find it funny.
I just saw a pair of insincere fakes being insincere fakes. Carry that theme into a marriage and the words ‘happy ever after’ seem highly unlikely.
What I did laugh at, though, was your ridiculous voice.
You were born in Kentucky and raised in Florida. Where the hell did that absurd, slow-talking baritone drawl come from?
Oh yes, I know: your hero, Marlon Brando, in the Godfather.
You want us to think you’re Don Corleone because it doesn’t get any cooler in your eyes than being Don Corleone.
But here’s the problem, Johnny: you’re getting less and less cool by the day.
‘I’m kicking 50 right up the a**,’ you declared just before you arrived at your half century.
But instead, it appears that entering your 50s is kicking YOU right up the a**.
Your ‘look’ - the old battered fedoras, rotting leather jackets, stained and duct-taped jeans, skull rings on the fingers, myriad tattoos and dishevelled goatee – is now so tired I want to give it a pillow.
Your looks, once so fiercely fresh and youthful, have turned the way they usually do when a man hits our age: puffy and middle-aged. You’re still way better looking than me, but you’re not the Adonis you once were.
You’ve morphed into Mickey Rourke light, without the facial scarring.
As for your acting, you’re still very good as you recently proved in the excellent Black Mass, but you’re not, I fear, as good as you think you are or as you once were.
Off camera, I suspect the problem is simpler: you never stop acting.
You told Rolling Stone magazine last year: ‘Covering myself in makeup, it’s easier to look at someone else’s face than your own. Jesus, you wake up in the morning and you brush your teeth and you’re like, “Ugh, that f**er again? You’re still here? What do YOU want?” Hiding, I think it’s important. It’s important for whatever’s left of your sanity.’
Then you solved the mystery of that ridiculous voice, revealing that you constantly hear Brando’s own voice in your ear, growling, saying: ‘F**k it, you don’t need this s**t.’
But remember what happened to Brando; he became a fat, bloated, weird loner who married three times, fathered 16 children, and ended up being driven by Michael Jackson around the singer’s Neverland fantasy home in an oxygen-stocked golf cart.
That way madness lies, Johnny. Utter, self-delusional, narcissistic insanity.
Don’t do it to yourself.
Be better.
There comes a time in every buccaneer’s life when you have to stop being a pirate.
A time when the cutlass has to be put back in its sheath, the eye-patch discarded and the favoured refrain of ‘Yo, ho, me hearties!’ as you plunge into yet another debauched Vegas-style orgy is finally confined to the vault marked ‘Gloriously Debauched History’.
You’re a 52-year old father of two now, it’s time to behave like one.
Find your voice again, Johnny. Your real one, whatever that is.
In fact, go one better: find yourself again.
Stop running, stop hiding, stop slapping on that make-up to mask who you really are.
Otherwise, you’ll end up not just sounding like a sad old Marlon Brando tribute act, but being one.
Kind regards, Piers 

57 comments:

Pretty face said...

Their problem

Unknown said...

Mind ur business, Piers
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

Hessaawards2019.com said...

Long story.. Na dem go read am

Na me talk am!

Long Live Lib!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Just wow!

Victor Kachi said...

Make im mind im biz
.
.
Stop wasting money on Data. Join the free browsing blog @ Entclass.com

Unknown said...

Ok we have hear

STERN said...

NEXT PLS????!!

oluchi said...

Mmmmmmmmmm no comments

Unknown said...

Awon aye! #MindYourBusiness. Linda take note!

LIB REP (中华人民共和国) said...

Piers Morgan interfering into people's affair again? Anyway I reserve my comment...Next Pls???

Chinedu said...

His long note... His headache...


Love me some jack sparrow

Unknown said...

Let all man carry him cross
Signed
#LibBadBoy

Unknown said...

Okk

Anonymous said...

lol...

See What Niki Minaj Is Doing With Drake In A Swimming Pool

Unknown said...

Nice piece

Unknown said...

Nice piece

Unknown said...

Oyibo gals too like money. Hahaha. LIB first lady

Delux said...

The correct spelling is Piers not Pierce

Delux said...

The correct spelling is Piers not Pierce

Kponskii said...

Abeg I no fit read this long novel on top person matter.

Unknown said...

HMmmmmmm!! Deeep! But Words. Atuolu omalu omaluuuuuu...but Atuolu ofeke.......

Unknown said...

VERY TRUE....EVERY MAN HAS HIS TIME....WE ALL HAVE JUST TWELVE MONTHS TO BE ANY AGE...JUST TWELVE MONTHS TO BE A 16 YEAR OLD, 18 YEAR OLD...30..40..50.. LOL.
THE BEST WAY TO ENJOY TIME IS TO ACT YOUR AGE.
DON'T GET STUCK SOMEWHERE IN YOUR PAST....AVOID SURPRISES.

Unknown said...

Sad truth!!!

Unknown said...

Biko should I read this?









LIB ADDICT#just passing#

Unknown said...

U get am for mind before?

Anonymous said...

Truth be told. He has lost it for real!!!

ary said...

Choi! brutal honesty

KWEEN said...

I totally agree with Piers this time. Johnny Depp is over playing the eccentric role. He needs to chill

Unknown said...

Johnny kpele

Unknown said...

His so on point

Unknown said...

Yea I like his write up...Dude is one of my favourite actor buh he need 2 listen 2 this advice....

Unknown said...

Nice one piers .. I think Johnny needs to grow up

Barbie said...

i no fit abeg!,e too long.

gentle said...

Mehn!!This post reeks of jealousy. My opinion of piers Morgan has dangerously dipped low after this. Even when he'll blab about kim, i'l fashi it, but this thrashing is uncalled for and i'm not even a johnny Depp fan.
You dnt know what happened between him and his wife that make his marriage crash, you admitted it and yet you have the guts to mock him for his failed mariage. You have already assumed it was cos of his ego that his matriage failed..#dumb#. And if he decides to start talking with a rich baritone drawl, how is that any of your business. Is it bad that he wants to emulate don corleone, eh piers Morgan? They apologised after an offence but according to you, it wasn't good enough. Thank God you admitted you aren't anything compared to him anyways. He doesn't give a rat's ass about you, and he won't even read this envy saturated post. Useless man. It doesn't get any more pathetic than you. Seeking attention by bringing people down. And at the end you dared to sound like you were wishing him well? Fool. After insulting the heck out of him. Hypocrite!! His fans will bash up Ur ass.

Unknown said...

Very stupid of him not to have signed a pre-up. His Common sense wasn't common after all. He was functioning in stupidity. If Amber was African I would have insinuated maybe she used charm on him. But today I don begin fear Oyibo women too.. It's like their own love charm don strong pass Edo state women charm😜😜😜

moncherie.. said...

Wow....

Sam spiritual said...

This piers can disturb celebrities.

Anonymous said...

He is so right. What I like about Piers Morgan is his unashamed honesty! I've always felt Johnny Depp is not quite comfortable in his own skin. Having said that though, how can his so called 'wife' file for a divorce just 2 days after he loses his mum...heartless! She's now seeking spousal support...ole.

Anonymous said...

Very true!

Anonymous said...

No just keep passing

Anonymous said...

Typical 'Barbie' response!

Anonymous said...

Hmm even though I agree with some of what Piers Morgan said I see your point! There's some element of envy here and perhaps revenge of some sort. Maybe Johnny has snubbed Piers Morgan in the past...

Anonymous said...

Lol! I'm from Edo state and instead of taking offence with your comment, I find it funny and true!

Anonymous said...

Madam showoff its piers not pierce

Unknown said...

Okay...this piece is epic...but Depp ain't someone who s gonna have time going through this...guess something from his village is after him...

Anonymous said...

My dear, I GUESS you are in Africa and you haven't seen the last videos Johnny has been posting. I guess you didn't took your time to google certain things mentioned in the article. Piers is right, people should get worried, but hey its Hollywood not one cares there. Johnny is losing it for real and he certainly need to grow up. I guess Johnny has a psychiatric disorder.

Anonymous said...

How can a 52 years old man act like that in the first place that is the main question you haven't got right @gentle. His marriage with this young girl was obviously an ego trip and this Amber is very suspicious in her behaviour. Piers is on point, alot of Hollywood actors and actresses has lost it in front of our eyes and we kept quiet if they die we start crying for nothing, meanwhile the person was dieing we watched. This Thompson guy was running mad the world worshipped him and I guess Johnny isn't far from a suicidal act.

Anonymous said...

It's worth reading.firstly, you can improve your English. Secondly, a lot of black men in Johnny's age don't behave age-appropriate but in Africa we tolerate it.

Unknown said...

People should learn not to get ahead of themselves. This in my opinion is positive criticism. Johnny Depp should read this for his own good. U know sometimes we really do not realise how seriously messed up we have become until someone calls our attention to it. Yes, Morgan might have said some hurtful stuff but when I read or hear people criticise me, I try to pick some positive vibes from it. Depp needs a reality check. Maybe it has paid him in the past to act and behave the way he does, but there comes a time when u decide, "Let me be me henceforth " Enough of copy and imitating others". Johnny Depp is a brand already. Anyway, just my opinion.

Anonymous said...

British people nawa! If Na person put mouth for their matter them for don cry "oh how very rude" wetin concern Piers for another man marriage/divorce? Is it his marriage? Is it his divorce?

Unknown said...

Pls mind ur business

Unknown said...

Long but touchy, nice piece of advice

Anonymous said...

Chai. Depp will be rethinking his whole existence after this. i love johnny, my fave actor, but this went deep. what was he thinking? no prenup. and amber just used him. his ex gf must be heavy juju priestess o. french women i fear una. now who will he turn to? see my former crush of life falling hand anyhow. thats why they say looks aint errythang

Anonymous said...

THE HONEST TRUTH FOR ONCE............

Unknown said...

Piers and aproko, always on other people's case.

Yetty k said...

piers morgan is d nigerian version of fani kayode en fayose

Unknown said...

Made sense but too long

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