I am 29 years old. I thought I would be married and already a mother at my age...but I'm not even close to getting married. My situation doesn't depress me...at all...but I think about it a lot. And every time I think about it I ask God and life the millionaire naira question that confuses you more than answer your question, WHY?
Why am I still single when most of my friends and colleagues are married? Why am I not settled at this age?
But then yesterday I went to visit a close friend of mine who has stroke. (Those who know him know who I am talking about). He can't talk and half his body is paralysed. And as I sat there holding his hands trying to hold back the tears, I asked myself that million naira question again...WHY? How can a forty two year old man have stroke? A vibrant, lively, hardworking, fun-loving man who loved life so much, have stroke at such a young age? How can the hands that is his source of livelihood be paralysed? Why do things like this happen?
He must have read all the questions in my face 'cos he held my hands with his good hand, looked at me intently, and shook his head like he was saying 'I don't know how I got here', or maybe he was saying 'that's life for you?'
I've been thinking about it since yesterday...WHY do things happen the way they happen? How many times have you asked yourself that question, trying to make sense of a situation you are in, racking your brain to find answers to these life mysteries.
Why are you 35 and still single? Oh you are even alive? Yeah well, Youth Corper Grace Ushang was raped to death in Borno State for wearing trousers.
Why is your business not as successful as you thought it would be? Oh you even have a business??? Yeah well I know someone who's been looking for a job for over three years now...care to help?
Why are all your mates buying expensive cars and you can't afford one? Oh you can drive? Yeah well, my friend with stroke just wants to be able to walk again. And maybe speak again...hopefully one day be able to use his hands again.
So why are you in your situation? Why am I poor? Why is he rich? Why did he die so young? Why am I not able to have kids? Why can't I find happiness? Why am I not able to pass JAMB? Why do I always fail? Why doesn't he want me? She helped build the church, why was she assasinated there? Is God watching? Why is he allowing these things to happen? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is the sky blue? Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh that I can answer. The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. But why did it want to get to the other side? What was there? Another chicken perhaps? Food maybe?
If anyone knows this answer please tell the rest of us mere mortals...'cos we can't figure it out and we'd really like to know.
Isn't life such a mystery? Are we ever going to figure it out?
NB: I don't know if I made any sense...there's so much I want to write but I can't seem to put them into words...my head is full.
22 comments:
Wow. I had a similar post to this on my blog. But it was a bit different, only God knows all the answers. It just baffles me and makes me think, but we can't question what God already has planned. Everything is like destiny to me.
From the rising of the sun to the going down of the day,there is someone who knws everything.His name is Jesus,he can do as he pleases(Psalm 135:6).Things happen in life and we begin to question our faith,there is always a reason why we go thru challenges in life but one thing,these things are temporary and are there to test our faith.Look at Job for instance,he lost his whole family and every other things he had but he did not lose his faith.I would like to refer us to a song by Brooklyn Tabernacle choir "I Never Lost my Praise",it is a wonderful song to listen to wen we start questioning abt why things happen to us. Also, I have a scripture to refer us to:
“Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.” (1 Peter 4:12-13 NKJV
N.B. I believe in miracles and I pray your friend will be made whole and well in JESUS NAME...AMEN.
linda girl,life can sometimes be very unfair !!u don carry come again 4 all dis ur touchy ,read cry writeups again?? asi es la vida!!
you are a unique woman.
but for the grace of God i would have been like that guy this year. spent the most part of this year sick but thanks to God i made it through.
we need to be very gratefull for what we have becos it could be worse. we are sinners like every other person. some of us are even sinners emeritus yet the mercies of God prevail.
i cant explain why some of these things happen but God knows everything. and some of you too know what you dabble into. some people are reaping what they sowed some are just victims of circumstances.
we continually ask for mercy cos God is not the authour of wickedness it is always the devil and his agents sadly he has many in nigeria.
Linda the best is yet to come for you. the world is a better place because of people like you.
merry christmas everyone
good question,but no answwe.Do your best and leave the rest to God almighty.
i believe everything that happens to us in life is fate...destiny....life isalso very spiritual.i believe every good thing will happen at its own time and then for bad occurences....wecan only avert them when we move close to God.but then,some still get unlucky despite the fact that they are faithful to God.so,i strongly believe its destiny.
linda,am 29 years old too...and its getting frustrating day after day dat am not married.i meet the best guys but after a while,sex or no sex..they leave..life is so unfair.to some of us.its is destiny
i know all the answers..and do you.if only you seek...
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and EVERY OTHER things shall be added unto you. That includes answer to your question. Happiness is not from what you have but from who you are in Christ Jesus. Most people go through tough times to test their faith and loyalty to Christ Jesus. In addition, to prepare them for something much better in the other side that will need a much stronger faith and belief system.. All things are possible to those who work and believe in God (not one leg in one leg out christian). If you decide to get the inheritance God promised his Son and us, then be ready to deny everything and follow him wholeheartedly. You cant serve 2 masters at the same time..God is a jealous God, some of us have things as idols in our life then God second. You have to let go of all and pursue God with your heart and all desire not because of what he is capable of giving you rather because of who he is...He loved us first thats why we love him...
have a great week -c Love
Linda's friend's situation may be a sign for her to not think about the little things in life like being single. His situation may be telling her to go in another direction and focus on other things that may be awaiting her for her in life and the marriage and husband will come later.
Just because everyone else is married and settled down doesn't mean that it's supposed to happen in her life atleast not right now.
Good post Linda, I will advise people to look at life selfishly. Do whatever will make you happy and leave no regrets. At 30 if you long for having kids, husband or not get one if you can and can afford to take care of them. From experience that is one decision you will never regret in your life. If you've never toasted a guy before, try it if you see one that your mind tells you is your Mr. right.....nothing to lose. If you are the well brought up type, try being a flirt for a while, see if it works. Why living miserably trying to be a good person,when all the bad people are enjoying themselves if you understand what i mean. They having kids, snatching husbands,enjoying their life when you are pretending to be holier and deep down in our hearts we long for those things.
That is just from my experience, it may not work for everybody.
The answer to all these why questions lies with meeting the Man of the Cross, Jesus Christ. He has the answer to all our perplexities, try Him and this living word, the Bible. Once Jesus becomes our friend he answers all these why questiions, why not try Him today?
I guess the best question isn't why me but what now? I,like a billion people this year have been through sludge, and I'm still in it. You can only just look at yourself and try to make the best of it.
Today, i woke up feeling grumpy. WHY? i am in love with a guy who i think doesn't love me! and it hurts when i think of it!
I have reached the "marriageable age" and this one guy is just messing with my emotions.
Oh, I also do not have the perfect job... like i say " ma salary can conveniently take me home and get me back to the office".
Most of my friends are married and are doing well in their careers and i am stuck up in this village.
if I say it doesn't hurt, I'd be lying!
But after reading ur piece, I am grateful that I am alive.
I am grateful that I am beautiful.
I am grateful that I do have a job!
i am grateful that I still have a heart to love again!
And Linda, very very soon... u will get married to a man, who will love u the way u are.. be ur best friend....
when that time comes sha.... i want to be a bridesmaid ( if i ain't married then)
love
i have never responded on a blog but ur friend is my friend too. i went to see him and i was soo emotional i was just speechless. i prayed for him and continue praying he will walk again and get back to doing what he does best. and the other question there an answer and ts in your bibble. u need wisdom understanding, preserverance and everything thing else falls in place. dont worrygirl the perfect man is on his way for u linda
Hi Linda no worries God will surely bless you with your own husband. i am 31 but i look so young and pretty but am always worried why am not still married. Especially wen i see ma colleagues, friends and schoolmate on facebook with their husbands, kids and their wedding pics. I always tell God " this year will not pass me by. But today i just got engaged to a man God has sent to me. My traditional and white wedding will be this Xmas. So Linda always hope in God he is not sleeping ok! as for your friend God will heal him in Jesus name Amen.
I believe time and chance happens to all. We only need to pray that we'll not be at the receiving end of evil. I believe you are a christian, so the book of Ecclesiates says alot about this life. Without God, life is fruitless and its all vanity.Questions will always come up in our minds because of our mortal nature, my dear, you only get all answers when you have departed from this earthly terrain. On a lighter note, I believe your man is closer to you than you imagine, just look well, your missing rib is near. Have a nice day.
LINDA U ARE A TOTAL PACKAGE......BELIEVE ME U WILL GO PLACES.U WRITE IN SUCH A WAY THAT A STONE HEART WILL START TO MELT.MAY YOUR LIGHT NEVER GO DIM.THE SAME WHY WHY AND WHY I ASKED WHEN I LOST A BROTHER FEW WEEKS BACK WHO WAS SHOT DEAD IN HIS CAR....HE PLANNED TO MOVE TO HIS OWN HOUSE THIS XMAS BUT HIS DEAD BODY WAS D ONE WE TOOK THERE FOR BURIAL............AT THE END OF EVRYTNG I THINK WE NEED TO LIVE EACH DAY TO ITS FULLEST BUT WITH FEAR OF GOD SO IF DEATH COMES GOD WILL STILL WELCOME US........DO YOU THINK EVRYBDY IN MARRIAGE ARE HAPPY? WHEN D TIME COMES IT WILL JUST HAPPEN...........COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS AND U WILL SEE THAT BEING ALIVE ALONE IS WHAT CELEBRATING...HAVE A LOVELY XMAS CELEBTRN MY PPLE.
DUNMININU.......
The problem is that a lot of people are not seeking for answers or they are not genuinely interested in answers.
However, God has kindly provide answers to that big question "WHY". The answers are not far fetching if you want to know. God is good and we can have every assurance that he is not the CAUSE or though he might ALLOW (certainly for a reason) things to happen that causes us to ask the question "why" at the moment. We do however never want to blame God for the suffering we may have today cause he is NEVER the cause. He hates to see us suffering.
Linda, I am not even going to preach as Jesus would not have done that. My prayer is that your friend; will be healed of his stroke illness. This is someone that has kept a lot of women beautiful with his styling. I remember as far back as in the late 80s and early 90s, women travelling all the way from the East to Lagos to have their h**r done by him exclusively. I mean, c'mon, to show how good he is.
Please, Jehovah lord, help us all.
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road but I know that I am unmarried. I am a male south westerner [naija of course] nearly 40 and unmarried. How did I get here? I don't know, may be being too busy or I just got here, y'know somethings will happen without cogent explanation. I have had my fair share of heart breaks and I guess that I have dished out some myself too, however this truth I know....It is not good for man to be alone, even God talk am.
Who gives a fu8 why the chicken crossed the road no be because the chicken no see car they come that's why it crossed the fu(8 road.
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