Younger Men/Older women + Mariam Imran | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog





Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Younger Men/Older women + Mariam Imran

In my modelling agency I do a lot of ushering. Events and weddings...most times I don't attend this weddings, I get my younger sis and another assistant who are in charge of the modeling agency to handle the selection of models, their costumes etc. But in the last one month or so, I've allowed myself to attend some of this weddings just to see how my models work....hmmm...this brings me to today's topic.

The last three weddings I attended...had older brides and younger grooms. Funnily, the three brides were bankers, one from an extremely wealthy family...and most of the guys were...young men from average homes.

I'm sorry to say this but the rate at which older women are marrying our young bobo's this days is alarming.

I'm trying to understand this trend. What do this young men want from this older women? What's the attraction? Why would a 25 year old man want to spend the rest of his life with a 40year old woman?...I'm not saying it's wrong but what gives? Older women love better? They take care of them better? Could it really be love?

My best friend marrying in November is marrying a woman older than him by a year. My cousin is dating a woman four years his senior...I know a few guys whose wives and girlfriends are much fact, an old classmate of mine married a woman in her fifties. When I saw their wedding pix and the two of them locking was painful to watch lol. He's just 29...looking for a better life...with a 50+ old woman...who has a four year grand son...tragic!

So here I was discussing the issue with one of the closest male friends...and he said you go where love takes you...apparently love took him to a woman two years his senior...not you too I thought! What's going on? Then he said older women treat their men better...excuse me? Older women treat their men better? Please someone tell me that's bull crap!

There are those who attach themselves to older women because of money...but what about younger men who have more money than the older Usher...this can be called love right?

This Sunday, I went to the Island to shop with a friend. So we got to Park N rob Shop, and I was outside the store waiting for my friend to re-park his car when this very tall, drop dead gorgeous guy walked up to me.

So here I was sizing him up, thinking...what manliness...cute and all. He asked for my number, I gave him my card, I asked for his card, he said he didn't have one but gave me his number. He had a slight British, sexy accent...really cute!

We spoke for about 3/4 minutes...and I was blushing all through..imagine a shy Linda. lol! But there was something off about him...I just could not place my hands on it...immediately! As he was leaving, he did something that got my attention...I called him back and this conversation followed...

Linda "Can I ask you a question?"

Guy "Yeah! What's up?"

Linda "How old are you?"

Guy "21"

S-t-o-p t-h-e rewind...did he say 21? I've been blushing for a 21 year old? Goodness gracious! lol.

Guy "hey linda, I got to go, I'll call you when I get home ok?" Then he made to leave

Hey, come back here...come back, come back! Linda "Excuse me...pls come"

The guy walked back to me

Linda "Please can I have my card back?"

Guy "Why?"

Linda "Because I'm 26 years old"

Guy "I don't understand!"

Linda "I'm 5 years older than you"

Guy "So?"

Linda "So, do you have an older brother?

Guy "Yes!"

Linda "Ok, how about you give my card to him and I'll give your number to my younger sister, she's 20!"

Guy "I'm interested in you not your younger sister"

Linda "I'm interested in your older brother not you"

Guy "Do you know him?"

Linda "No, but you can ask him to call me so I can get to know him"

Guy "My brother is 23"

Linda "Oh I see...too bad. You have an uncle? an older friend? Anyone at least 10 years older than you? You give them my card...don't call me." I gave him a peck and a wink and I got into my friends car and as we made to drive off...the 21 year old gave me...a middle finger...I waved back at him! The look on his face was hilarious.

I'm sorry, but I don't do younger men...I like them more mature, more experienced and you know

But seriously, what is it about older women that young men find attractive? Is it really love? Or is there something more to it?

Mariam Imran: World's youngest person to undergo double lung transplant

It is hard to believe that a year ago doctors gave this girl five months to live.

Today, after becoming Britain's youngest recipient of a double lung transplant, Mariam Imran is a picture of health.

The five-year-old was born with cystic fibrosis, a hereditary disease that affects the respiratory and digestive systems.

Last year her health deteriorated so much that she had to be given oxygen to breathe.

She desperately needed a lung transplant, but there is an acute shortage of donors among the Asian community

Although the recipient of a transplant does not have to be from the same ethnic group as the donor, people of the same colour are more likely to be a match.

Finally in January a donor was found and surgeons at Great Ormond Street Hospital performed the eight-hour operation.

Now Mariam is back at school, and running around with her friends.

After watching the amazing transformation in her daughter, Faaiza Dar, 25, is urging more black and Asian people to register as donors.

Miss Dar said: "You don't think you'll ever need to know about these things. But people need to have the issues around organ donation highlighted."

Mariam was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at three months.

Her lungs became covered in mucus, and she often struggled to breathe.

Last year, doctors gave her mother the news about her life expectancy.

"I was so scared," said Miss Dar, of Blackburn, Lancashire. "I was shaking and I cried a lot."

Four months later, however, an organ was found and the operation went ahead. Four weeks after that, Mariam was moved to her local hospital where she stayed until April.

"She didn't used to speak very much because she got out of breath easily, but now she's picking up on everything and full of life," said Miss Dar.
"I still wrap her up in cotton wool and she tells me off."

Since the operation, an even younger child has had a double lung transplant.

Black and Asian people are three times more likely to need a kidney transplant than those from other ethnic origins. But they make up less than 2 per cent of deceased donors.

Do let me know what you think about older women/younger men. Cheers!


ibiluv said...

I really dont know why guys go for older
We may frown at it
but in SOME cases what the couple feel for each other has nothing to do with the age difference....

maturity is a state of mind
it has nothing to do with the person's age
my people say "Agba kin se Ogbon"
"being old is no assurance of wisdom"
some guys ARE mature even@16
I personally would rather marry a man older than me but I dont care if the difference is 2yrs OR 20yrs

does it make more sense if the guy is older even if way older?
but then I just may find myself with a younger guy

I say marry whom you desire
whatever your reason
as long as you are happy
afterall "to each his own"

Anonymous said...

You appear mildly obsessed with the this issue. Lol. Ask yourself this question, why can't a young guy fall in love with an older woman? Can you come up with a logical answer?

Again, what makes it okay for a guy ten year older than a girl to be in love with her but not okay when the reverse is the case? What is the change in dynamics?

Of course there are going to be some young men who are with older women for the money but Nigeria is brimming with young girls who are with older men for their money. So there's no issue really.

I think you are just used to thinking in a particular way, traditionally, if you like...

Anonymous said...

linda, its not such a big deal, well to some anyway, that the guy they are dating is younger. the most important issue is the commitment that they have. personally, i only do older men and will NEVER date a younger guy.

Toni Payne said...

Per the older woman younger man thing, I really dont see the big deal, its like, if men can date younger woman, why ant women date younger men. There is no law anywhere that says thats the way it is and its set in stone.. hmmn Linda, you dint even give the bobo a chance, what if he woulda turned out to be ur prince charming.. lol

Anonymous said...

Girl, that converse was so funny. But in all honesty, apart from extreme age gaps (like 60 dating 24 which is prevalent in our society and other so called third world countries)age should really just be a number when it comes to love. Typically when you meet someone you find attractive or fancy, the last thing on your mind is how old that person is. You rather go into auto pilot trying to figure a modus operandi thats gonna get you talking to that person. I guess maybe when you are in your teens, age might be one of the first things you want to get out of the way.
We should not be in a position to judge any marriage let alone judge ones that have acceptable age gaps. Our hope is that people go into these unions for the right reasons, and if they do, lets be happy for them, it makes for a better society.

Miss Dar has hit the nail on the head, we,the black + Asian race, do not love each other enough and that is why our children are dying in droves daily. The least anyone of us can do is agree to be a donor when we die, it's not like we are going to need the organs in the after life, the bible assures us of that, so common.

We need to support each other all the way, irrespective, love begets love. This thursday in the US we are all going to be wearing black in support of JENA 6, 6 black boys facing serious jail time if convicted of what simply can be described as a juvenile school fight. Who are our girls going to marry if our young one's are been put away willy nilly.


Unknown said...

Biological age doesn't determine maturity, neither does it determine how someone will treat you, respect you or love you. I know Nigerian society looks down on older women marrying younger men, and I think it's because our society sees the main purpose of marriage to be procreation (vs. partnership, expression of love and commitment etc.) and fertility fades with each passing year, esp for women.

I've dated guys younger than I am, but I'm still only mid twenties so the age difference is generally a few months to a couple of years younger; it wasn't ever a big deal. As far as marrying someone younger than me, as long as I feel that is the man God put here on earth for me, then it's all good.

Anonymous said...

OMG, ROTFLMAO!!!! @ the convo u had with the young kid. kai! that hurts...lolllllllll

i really wonder o. i dunno, it used to be a repulsive subject for dudes to date older women, but now it's all yay!...they're more matured. Bullshiat! wen we broke up, my ex started dating dis woman 6 yrs older than him...i didnt know whether to laff or cry...but n e way sha, these women sure have the cheese to lure the yung dudes no blame them, nobody put a gun to the guys' heads and forced the women on them. The knew wot they were doing. na wah sha


Anonymous said...

I dont think its a big deal,age has nothng to do with maturity and vice versa.Older men marry women much younger than them, why the double standard?We should be more open minded and not be so quick to judge others.Its their life let them live it.

UndaCovaSista said...

Lol. The fact that the guy gave you the finger says it all. Immature!

I couldnt really comment as to the reason why this trend had developed, but its the same over here and in the cases i know about, to be honest, money is not really an issue i.e. none of the parties has lots and lots of it, they're mainly "comfortable".

I guess people nowadays are just more willing to look beyond the age thing. I mean, if everything else is in place and the woman is just a few years older (notice i said a few years!) than the guy, then why not...?

Anonymous said...

Hi Linda, I really enjoy reading your blog, great work!!I will be visiting Lagos for the first time in 5 years at the end of the month. Are there any good shows, events happening on the 29th and/or 30th of September in Lagos?


Anonymous said...

"one man's food is another man's poison".i know guys that CANNOT go out with younger babes,so it all depends on what you want.
mwl,linda,abeg,what exactly did the said guy do that made u suspicious of his age.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the person who says you are mildly obsessed with the age thing.But i think we african women as a whole are obsessed with age.You said you have a friend who is married to someone one year his senior. Haba that is nothing now. I think that we need to go where love takes us. You might be surprised that the 21 year old guy treats you better than any other older guy you have dated. No be everyday or everytime you go dey remember the guy's age abi. Live life girl

Anonymous said...

LMAO at your exchange with the dude. Girl, that was funny and him giving you the finger and all proves your judgement was right (in this particular case). However, i don't think it's bad when the age gap isn't that big. For instance Victoria Beckham is a year older than her husband; so is Onari Duke and i think that's not bad at all. Where i think it's bad is when a menopausal grandma marries a very young guy for whatever reason, cos that's really selfish, as she'd be unable to give him kids. I must comment though, that Soul E's wife looks good for a 41 year old; thank God she's also now pregnant. Who are the second couple? You didn't label their photo.
There are some guys that just prefer to date older women, regardless of whether or not they are involved or have kids; Usher is one of such guys. When he was dating 36 year old Chilli, he had several altercations with her son's dad. Now he has moved on to 36 year old Tameka, someone's wife and mother of three. And to add insult to injury, pictures were taken of them cavorting semi nude on a beach when she was still married to her husband. I can't understand what it is with Usher and peoples' (older) wives and girlfriends. In my opinion, he has no morals. He has soooo moved to the bottom of my radar. He has even sacked his own mum as his manager, for not supporting his union with someone's wife! What a plonker!
Having said all this however, i personally prefer my guy to be older. My hubby is seven years older than myself and i love the maturity he exudes.

Anonymous said...

Hey you,just reading this,its kinda not nice that u put put D pix and his wife for an example, Its no secret that shez older than him but girl take it easy on the young guy-older woman thing, u wudnt do it but some will.

Anonymous said...

You make such a huge mountain over a mole hill. There's nothing wrong/ wierd about an older woman dating/ marrying a younger guy as long as thee's mutual love and respect. We Nigerians really need to grow up. Seriously.

Anonymous said...


bighead said...

The gurl i'm tripping for now is like 11 months older than me. Do i care??? I wonder O??? I used to send stuff like that b4 but the thing about attraction is that it makes you overlook a lot of stuff so I don't really mind now.

Anonymous said...

buhaaaaaa....I'm laughing my ass off right now at d convo u had with dat guy. It sounds like a nollywood movie. But dayuuum, Linda baby, u for messed up o. Dat duded could've been 'the one' o. I do understand what u're getting at why young men will wanna be with older women. However 1-5 years difference is ok by me but when it's over 10 years difference, dat's a bit too much.

Unknown said...


Unknown said...


Anonymous said...

That was a hilarious conversation! Are you kidding me? You actually asked told him to give your card to his older bro or uncle etc?...
Younger men? A big no no. My love train doesn't travel that route. No thick bias but I'm just more comfortable with my man older. With my Mr just over a year older than me, if i cld add years to his age I will!Lol.
However years don't add up to maturity. Stay away from that theory. Some younger guys take the hat there. I still won't venture on their tracks even with that said!lol

Anonymous said...

the basic explanation is the youngman is growin up and adventurous and meets a woman who's got all the experience,it's naturally them connect if she don't get stuck up and the dude kills his nervous or lookin at it from the another point of view,it's only naturally for a son to draw closer to her mother and reachin out to a matured woman who is very receptive,jus clicks but then is the quetion of SEX

Anonymous said...

Older women younger men. Wow. Linda i can see where you are coming from. It is quite a sensitive issue. For example, some of these younger men are gold diggers, can't hold a decent conversation with them, still looking for a "mama" to provide their material needs or one with much more life and sexual experience. They prey on some of the older aristo babes who are somehow spoilt and have everyone saying "yes" to their demands. So the con young man arrives, fools them because they; female don't have much of street smarts and life's experience 'cause of their sheltered life and existence. Gives them enough good loving - cause i tell you some of these young men / guys can be good / are experts in that department / area and some of them are packing as well. Tell me about it.

What i have written so far is a generalisation. Some are true love, mind you. Some are what i have written so far. But i am not a jaded / cynical person when it comes to love. I am just a realist. This is not to discourage anyone that is older and looking for a younger but it is just for one to be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of the older woman and the younger man relationship / marriage. And for one to take note. Thnx.

Anonymous said...

Wow! wake up,the world is changing.he might just be ur prince hapilly married to a guy five years younger than me.through the courtship,I thought he would change his mind but he never did. two years into the marriage,he still loves me crazy.with older men,it can never be better. I dated numbers of older men which never worked but with him I found a paradise.I have nothing to offer him,he is richer by all standard but surprisingly,he dotes on me.give it a thought.cheers

Anonymous said...

Funny story. But I feel the most important thing is love; I mean if the guy is younger, does it mean loving him is not right or your feelings for him is not true? Just be more open minded really.

Unknown said...


Recent Posts