for me everythingis an experience.. and since no experience is lost.. i try my best not to regret the relationship.. and to see only the positive.. and continue my life..
i guess it is real easy to get over heartbreak once u sit down and rationalise what went wrong........we (females) sometymes need to have a man to call our own so bad we cling to the wrong guy......... so think of all those stuff he didnt do for u that a guy in luv should have done for you and assert to urself how u really do not need his SHIT and it should be real easy to get over him.........good riddance to bad rubbish and luv should be 50-50 .........above all LUV urself cos if u do.......u wont settle for second best.........
For me, the second most difficult/painful experience in life is heartbreak...the first being the passing away of a love one
Heartbreak can paralyse...can turn one from living to just being alive....life then seems to have no purpose; it begins to feels like there's 74 hours in one day and boy!there is no easy way to deal with the pain of a broken heart/move on; however, i've found that the following help in the initial stages of the break-up
1. cutting ties with the heartbreaker 2. talking about it with close friends (i'ld say just one though and a balanced person too not one to advocate spilling ones emotions to a whole stadium) 3.crying (for those of us who will rather not shre personal info with others) helps let out the pain...
*however, talking about it for too long makes one cling to what was and hampers the healing process...so does too much crying which leads to depression! :( talk about it a little, cry a little, pick yourself up, drink some lucozade/lick some glucose powder and be strong!
3. some ppl believe keeping busy helps but i dont encourage that esp in the early stages of a break-up as some ppl tend to misconstrue this as 'KEEP BUSY - pretend nothing happened' and fail to deal with the reality of the situation and end up living in denial, not dealing with their issues and messing up future relationships as a consequence of that....i think one paves a wider road for one to move on if one engages in solitary reflection, on the failed relationship & the cause and then genuinely forgive myself and the one who broke my heart (depending who whose fault the break up was)....
5.but ultimately (and this shud be number one), only TIME, truly heals...the amount of time it takes depends on the 'heartbreakee'...Those that choose to cling to the past tend to have a hard & long time healing...and those that handle the situation with maturity, reflect, let go, forgive, rediscover themselves and continue to live life to the fullest(single or otherwise) eventually move on faster and have 'mr/miss heartbreaker' crawling back begging!
oh well, if all fails, a rebound 80% of the time helps esp if the nacking is gud! lol!
took me 2.5 yrs to get over my ex and i put that down to not cutting ties as i continued to nack him! lol! cant blame me...he was damn gud! :)
Just make new friends and hang out more with old ones. Try not to be alone for long. Always have someone to gist with or something to occupy your mind. It doesn't totally eradicate the feelings but goes a long way to 'help' oyu forget.
To get over a tough break up the most important thing to do is to change your behaviour, if you keep calling him/her all the time, you don't move on, If you find yourself thinking of that person all the time, pick up a new hobby, spend time with loved ones, sometimes going on dates reminds you that you can still find someone else. The most important thing is to self heal, get over your anger and hate, get over the sadness and depression. Take care of you, and with time, you will realise why you are better off without that person
If i were a woman..and just had a pretty intense break up from my boyfriend of many years... i will be going to the gym everyday, going out with my friends, eating healthy, meeting new people... try to focus on myself and my BRIGHT AND HAPPY future cos i deserve to be happy, remember that.
Also, its totally natural to need a couple of days to hang around my bedroom and cry while watching sad lifetime movies... get some rest and recoup, but will ask for lots of support from my friends and family so i dont get stuck in a rut.
i would go out with freinds & try and forget about the freak that i was dating. By going out all the time, you won't have the time to think of the person.
14 comments:
with time you always do....
It would depend on the circumstances leading to the heartbreak. One thing is certain though, you'll get over it with time.
for me everythingis an experience.. and since no experience is lost.. i try my best not to regret the relationship.. and to see only the positive.. and continue my life..
You can't push heartbreak to the back of your mind, you just have to suffer it. The passage of time then causes the pain to expire and you move on.
If you try to repress it it will come out in some other unnatural way. (just like refusing to mourn the death of a loved one)
i guess it is real easy to get over heartbreak once u sit down and rationalise what went wrong........we (females) sometymes need to have a man to call our own so bad we cling to the wrong guy......... so think of all those stuff he didnt do for u that a guy in luv should have done for you and assert to urself how u really do not need his SHIT and it should be real easy to get over him.........good riddance to bad rubbish and luv should be 50-50 .........above all LUV urself cos if u do.......u wont settle for second best.........
it takes time.
Prayers, friends and family. :-)
You move on by trying to put the person behind u, make urself happy, have fun and most importantly, pray.
For me, the second most difficult/painful experience in life is heartbreak...the first being the passing away of a love one
Heartbreak can paralyse...can turn one from living to just being alive....life then seems to have no purpose; it begins to feels like there's 74 hours in one day and boy!there is no easy way to deal with the pain of a broken heart/move on; however, i've found that the following help in the initial stages of the break-up
1. cutting ties with the heartbreaker
2. talking about it with close friends (i'ld say just one though and a balanced person too not one to advocate spilling ones emotions to a whole stadium)
3.crying (for those of us who will rather not shre personal info with others) helps let out the pain...
*however, talking about it for too long makes one cling to what was and hampers the healing process...so does too much crying which leads to depression! :( talk about it a little, cry a little, pick yourself up, drink some lucozade/lick some glucose powder and be strong!
3. some ppl believe keeping busy helps but i dont encourage that esp in the early stages of a break-up as some ppl tend to misconstrue this as 'KEEP BUSY - pretend nothing happened' and fail to deal with the reality of the situation and end up living in denial, not dealing with their issues and messing up future relationships as a consequence of that....i think one paves a wider road for one to move on if one engages in solitary reflection, on the failed relationship & the cause and then genuinely forgive myself and the one who broke my heart (depending who whose fault the break up was)....
5.but ultimately (and this shud be number one), only TIME, truly heals...the amount of time it takes depends on the 'heartbreakee'...Those that choose to cling to the past tend to have a hard & long time healing...and those that handle the situation with maturity, reflect, let go, forgive, rediscover themselves and continue to live life to the fullest(single or otherwise) eventually move on faster and have 'mr/miss heartbreaker' crawling back begging!
oh well, if all fails, a rebound 80% of the time helps esp if the nacking is gud! lol!
took me 2.5 yrs to get over my ex and i put that down to not cutting ties as i continued to nack him! lol! cant blame me...he was damn gud! :)
Kiki in London
Just make new friends and hang out more with old ones. Try not to be alone for long. Always have someone to gist with or something to occupy your mind. It doesn't totally eradicate the feelings but goes a long way to 'help' oyu forget.
To get over a tough break up the most important thing to do is to change your behaviour, if you keep calling him/her all the time, you don't move on, If you find yourself thinking of that person all the time, pick up a new hobby, spend time with loved ones, sometimes going on dates reminds you that you can still find someone else.
The most important thing is to self heal, get over your anger and hate, get over the sadness and depression. Take care of you, and with time, you will realise why you are better off without that person
If i were a woman..and just had a pretty intense break up from my boyfriend of many years... i will be going to the gym everyday, going out with my friends, eating healthy, meeting new people... try to focus on myself and my BRIGHT AND HAPPY future cos i deserve to be happy, remember that.
Also, its totally natural to need a couple of days to hang around my bedroom and cry while watching sad lifetime movies... get some rest and recoup, but will ask for lots of support from my friends and family so i dont get stuck in a rut.
ALL I CAN SAY IS INDIA ARIE'S "HEART OF THE MATTER"
:-)
Have NEVER bn heartbroken so i cant help out here.
i would go out with freinds & try and forget about the freak that i was dating. By going out all the time, you won't have the time to think of the person.
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