Dear LIB Readers: How do I get my in-laws out of my home?
From a LIB reader
Dear LIB readers, I married my husband in December 2010 and moved into a four bedroom duplex he owns but shares with other members of his family. My husband's mother, sister and brother lives with us. They've been living with him long before I married him but after I moved in he promised me he would eventually get them their own place. It's been over one year and a half now and they are all still living with us. It is not like they give me any problems but I want my own space, my own home. I've tried to get my husband to ask them to leave but he hasn't done anything about it. He's too attached to them and it's making married life very difficult for me. How do I get my in-laws to leave my house? Should I confront them since my husband has refused to do himself? Please help!
Madam of the house... advise your husband to change the house to two 2bedroom apartment... you and your husband carry one his family carry one...simple... You must never confront his family to move out....
Before seeing your name I knew u were ibo, u pple never give any married member of your family space. They never let the union of a couple grow. A newly wed couple shh have their privacy. Its even in d bible a man wld leave his parents house be wit his wife. Ir the mother n his siblings care about him n want that marriage to grow they shde pls go and get their own apartment. And u ikeena am sure u r libing in your bros house ad wld even marry n bear children there.its best u pray n plead wit your husband to get them a place. All these family pple wit their wahala sef.
MzDeei said- the problem we girls think is that we can actually change a guy nd dat is so not true. anyway, ild advice she doesnt confront he family to send them away. she should endure cos dats wat marriage is all about.
left for me u shld ask him to get a 2 bedroom or smtin more affordable for u both.for the dumb asses who say she is selfish n is an idiot are bigger idiots becos u wnt understand until u r married n r in a similar situation..tht goes to ikenna n the rest
just starting making out in random places you know you will be "caught" they will soon get the picture and ask him to get them their own place trust me it works....be overly affectionate with him enough to make them not want to be in the same room with you two...
U ibos that's the order of d day! Even your whole village can come live with u. I really find dis act ridiculous. No privacy nothing, the family take over d couple home, all in all it balls down to poverty
wow,quite touching.its no easy task coping with little privacy in your matrimonial home so i strongly feel for her.my advice will be to either try persuading the husband a lil more,or start making plans to leave,cos i know how stubborn and agrresive such inlaws could be when asked to leave so just work on leaving them.make some tangible income for yourself,$1200 weekly earnings working part-time for some U.S.-based online firms.mail me at frankkunrazer@yahoo.com for more info
For your own sanity and the longevity of your marriage, adjust to the situation.
Your husband's people were in that house before you. Instead of moving in with them, you should have INSISTED that your husband rent an apartment BEFORE getting married. Even if he didn't live there 24/7, or even if he rented it a few weeks/months before the wedding date, at least you knew that come the night of your wedding oo, you have your own space.
(I even have to wonder, did you guys DTD* before marriage??? If you did, how the hell were you comfortable knowing they were next door? #justsaying )
This is one of those situations where it is just too late to complain. Mostly because the Nigerian culture encourages communal living, involving extended family. If it was the US or UK, you grew up abroad, or you are not Nigerian/African, you would have an advantage. But it sounds like none of the three apply so buck up and ADJUST accordingly!!!
My dear, ask God to give u a change of heart in this situation. If you can tolerate and love them more, trust me your husband's love will multiply.its not like I don't understand where u are coming from, I do but you have to be patient. Besides, you are lucky that they aren't giving you problems as such( bcos there will always be issues). My sister was living with her mum inlaw, her sister inlaw and her hubby's cousins in a two bedroom house in abuja immediately after her marriage and for over four years into her marriage. But as God will have it, her hubby and his brothers were able to secure a flat for them which they later moved to in abuja. So my advice is that you should open up your heart to them,your love for your hubby should be extended to them in that way you will begin to enjoy and appreciate their company. Love wins all things.
uhhmmm, I can certainly understand your distress. When you 1st get married, you want that time alone to know your husband without the extra attachments. Its a tough situation since they were there. The only advice i have is that you should be patient and keep praying that your husband finally listens to you and move you guys out to a new place. Moving his family out will be without a doubt the worst problem you can cause in that household. So my dear be patient and continue to pressure ur hubby for a new crib for you and him alone. Even if it is 1 or 2 bedroom you need privacy.
A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife as one flesh! That's the word of God sister, you thinking right but don't confront them. You shod speak to your husband and if he is a real man he would understand without so much explanation. Especially if he can afford it.
Am sure most of the people insulting her are either single (clueless) or people like her husbands people who just can't leave a couple to live in peace. Get d fuck out of there house you monitoring spirits! Yea! They Are not troubling her now but watch when they buy her a new car. Speak to your hubby now and find a solution 4 them to pack out quick or you will so regret it later. Also both sides will respect each other more because of the love y'll have for the man of the house.
1. beg GOD to help u get them another place to live. the next thing is for you to use what God has given you. 2. welcome ur husband with sexy lingerie on and make sure that his brother is coming behind u. 3. try and get him to make out with you in d parlor and when it is getting to the heat of things interupt him and tell him that u guys have to go upstairs cos of ur house guests. 3. wear something provocative in d kitchen while making his dinner and be playing with him also making sure that his mother is probably coming into the kitchen at that time. by the time his family members interupt him like 5 times or his brother sees u in all these provocative attires at least 3 times sharply sharply he'll get them their own place with immediate alacrity.
I had same situation my sister, my mother in law lived with me for ist 3years of my marriage 1st year she was such an angel , 2 and 3rd she started commanding orders in my home. Telling everyone what to do, telling me what to cook. And basically she running the house , inviting her other children for 2-3weeks with there kids without telling me, all sorts. I was quiet to those years but wasn't easy I cried so much alone but my husband never noticed that I was miserable. Until I finally got the courage to tell my pastor 3years after he called him for counselling and explained the bible to him. He came back and said he had no idea I was going through all that he thought was happy with her, that I should have told him. Immediately he arranged an apartment, driver, house help for her with the help of his other brothers her other sons in US and that was how she left. Now I feel like a wife and a mother, made my own decisions and orders. We visit her from time to time and she is also happy to see her grand children my kids "HONOR UR FATHER AND MOTHER" not marry them "LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH"....dis is the word of god in the bible. God bless you all as we live in peace!
Dear wife, I will advise u since u asked that a good christian woman must be wise and the virtuos woman. u have 2 options 1) start saving some money and inform yr hubby that u need him to assist u in locating a nice home in which u need to start a family or 2) u dont plan to start having kids until u have more space or a different environment in which to raise a family es claim that u need to turn one of the rooms into a nurser and another into a study/office. its all about God given wisdom
so if he is desperate for kids he will acquiesce to yr request.
i must say u must be desperate to get hitched if u can't sort out such problems b4 agreeing to the arrangement and thus have only yrself to blame. women BEWARE!!!
I seriously don't understand the statement "they were there before u" So why did he decide to get married in the first place? Isn't it supposed to be that a man leaves his family and cling unto his wife? 2 people cannot even enjoy their first year of marriage alone before having children. Na wa o. Nigerians and their archaic way of thinking...jeez!
my sister i knw how u feel but dont do what u will later regret for the rest of ur life.forcing them to leave ,is a very bad idear.u have creatd internal conflirt between u and ur in law.remember u ll need them 1 day 4 help.talk to ur husband kindly k
Please, dont kill ur heart for nothing. They are not given you problem , why are you borger ? You and your husband has your own room. They ve been there before you accepted the guy, please hold your peace.
You need not confront them all u need is to keep explaining to ur man u need ur space. Wat these men dont understand is the fact that it is in the Bible that a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife/new family. God knows the attachment humans have with their family and he knows the need for 'the man' to bond with his new found love to recreate and ve his own family who then becomes his SOLE responsibility. Your mistake is the same i made when i got married 7 yrs ago. Though i asked for my husband's sibling to move in with him thinking it will be fun since they are all girls and moreover our wedding was on d way but dt was my greatest undoing. I saw hell! I later ran for my life under d disguise of returning to school in a separate state with my 5months old baby. Thank God we got our own place when i finally returned to Lagos but i went thru hell.My dear just be calm becos it wont be forever but till then let things be for peace to reign.
annonymous 5.26pm u have so much point and wisdom on ur coment infact i hv also learn frm ur coment cos i have a similer case wt dis lady but nt as bad as hers thou,linda pls dis is nt ur coment so post.
This girl is very stupid. The man OWNS the house and you want him to pay RENT to someone else?? What man will agree to that? Didn't you see this coming??
The best thing is for you to move your own mother and brother or male cousin in as well. Your house is not crowded enough. Don't be aggressive, just say, your mother or elderly aunt wants to come and stay. He can't say no. After a few months, he will start feeling crowded.
The truth is, if it was your own family living with you, you would probably not complain. So do not complain about his own family. Just move yours in and when he asks you to chase them out, the condition must be that ALL in-laws go.
Don't move a female cousin in o! That na recipe for disaster.
Linda, It is unfortunate that most of your blog readers are real mean fools, Idiots with this messy Nigerian mentality. I'm a man and am also privacy. Even not anyone from my home could spend more than 2 weeks in my home. The kind of mentalities here would make me live with a white. Ndi ara full everywhere, Idiots that doesn't know the meaning of PRIVACY.
do you know if the house belongs to his father ehhh now you want to kick his wife and children out because of your greed. when you were dating him dem no offend you no dem don put ring for your finger dem now become parasite abi you best tread carefully if you don want fire on the mountain
his family members were there before u came in,now u want him to chase dem out.are u truly a good wife?they dont give u trouble yet u want them out.2010 is just two years.my friend,relax,dis is not even an issue.
You say they do not give you problems, that the house is as big as 4 bedroom duplex, that they were living there before you where brought in. Just listen to yourself and look around the current condition of this country and tell me if you are for real. I thank God that I shall not meet you when i will want to marry. I also pray that God will not bring you and connect me and your in any way.
foolish woman you are. His parents family aren't giving you problems but you want them to leave the house for you. Women of now a days sha...didn't you know the day he paid your bride price you were getting married to his entire family and not just him alone? what space do you need sef? or you wanna bring in another man when he's not around? or you wanna turn him into your toy? or perhaps your friends asked you to do so? Woman better build your home than break it. Leave them alone in as much as they aren't giving you problems
I have never commented on a blog but your question needs to be addressed. My girlfriend had the same issue with husband(husband 2 sisters and a brother living with them)when they got married,due to her fairy tale dream of how marriage shoul be, she made him rent a 2 bedroom apartment. 2years later she put to bed her first child and exactly a year later she had the second child. She is the last of her siblings and her parents are late. His mum came around to care for the baby from kano, but she soon travelled back. she hired nannies(young and old), but they always left. She then asked her husband's baby sister(high school) to move back in to help with the kids and general stuff( not as a nanny but someone that she could rely on til she finds a perm solution) so she can resume her career as well as go back to school for an MBA( at least more trust worthy than nannies) the other husband siblings said no. My point is this, you want the whole , this is my home and bla bla bla which is nice but i assure you that there will come a time you will need family around you. Her story is an example. Your in-laws are not treating you wrong. You married into the family. My advice is let things be as it is. Fringe benefits are - when u need a quick mini honeymoon with your husband at least you know grandma is there to watch over them with love and care; the love is natural; and you are not alone. Treat family as yours and you will also receive not just love but allegiance, loyalty and sincere prayer from the family for you. My comment focused more on one aspect of having family around. The point is, you can never know wha tomorrow will bring and since they are not stepping on your toes always endeavor to win them to urside. ALWAYS!
y'all insulting d lady shud chill...its nt fair at all....she wants her own home. family members are allowed to visit but nt stayin permanently.....she cnt hv sex in d kitchen if she wants to....she doesnt feel like she owns d home..wen u get married, ud undrtnd her plight....jst pray abt it hun and try and make ur husband see reasons y he shud get dem a place
Forget all this religious talk. for one monthnack the sht outta your husband and make so much noise that they can't sleep. after the first month make sure youboth get caught naked doing some freak ship by his parents... If they still don't move then you have no hope.
First of all, she didn't come from nowhere as many of you have eloquently put it. And she's also not trying to render anyone homeless. They both decided that the husband would get his family another accommodation after their marriage. Its actually not his responsibilty. Like it or not, she is his family now. And its also very important for a couple to live alone for the first few years of marriage. No matter how pleasant the in laws are. Why are men's relatives always a source of stress? My parents paid our first year's rent as a way of reducing the stress of living as adults and yet it took a lot of convincing for them to even come and see the place. When they eventually came, they refused to enter our bedroom because they felt that it would be invading our privacy. My husband's family contribute nothing to our livelihood but complain a lot about how little of our privacy they are allowed into. Many in laws do not know where to cross the line. It's very irritating coming back home after a long day and on your bed lies your mother inlaw, his sister etc. Its very rude to ask a wife to excuse herself from aroom because you want to have a private conversation with her husband. As though she were a child. I sometimes envy women whose husbands have late mothers.
I am really surprised and happy for the good remarks made so far. i beliv in having ur space, very necessary for growth. But i dont think it is wise for you to confront his pple. You shud not have moved in after marriage to that house, there are good and bad sides to that. A couple need to be alone for the first few years of their marriage so they know themselves properly without outside (family)influence. Anyways, continue to talk to our husband gently and PRAY!
Why create trouble in your happy marriage?Weren't you all smiles when you met them?Now you want them out, may God continue to grant peace in your home.Amen
R u a witch dt u dont wnt people around u since dey dont giv u problems ,if u nid ur privacy den use ur moni nd rent an apartment for dem so dey can move in.four bedroom duple is not enough for ur space nawaohh ,anyway i undastand maybe u hav littles ones dt u wnt dem to stay wit u nd no sace for dem.
This is for every single individual insulting the lady.. You do not know where the shoe hurts, until you wear it.. Its not like she is asking him to kick them out.. He promised to find them another apartment, she is only just calling him out, on his promise.. If you were in her shoes, i am sure you would make more noise... Some people just like their own privacy and i am one of those people. I have seen a situation whereby the man's siblings neva left the house, even after their first child was conceived.. Assuming the siblings get too comfortable and dont leave, what should she do then?? The earlier the better.. If the husband can afford to move them, he should.. If the siblings and mother have any love and respect for their marriage, they would move out.. Whether, they are giving her trouble or not is not the issue..She should take them as her siblings ke?? Sure, that is doable even when they arent living in thesame house.. I love my siblings but i wouldnt want to leave with them everyday at this age.. C'moooooooon!!
Aswear! It is Igbo men that made those comments. There nothing nicer than a woman having her own space in her husband's house. She is not kicking them out of the house. She just needs space to properly execute her duties as a wife....#shikena
it has nothing to do with wickedness. it is not appropriate for a man's sibblings and his wife to live under the same roof. no matter how much we hate to admit it, no woman prays for that. my sister inlaw and brother inlaw live with me. they are older than me. no matter how hard u try to please them, the truth is that u have little control over how people percieve you. when i try to really please them, they tell me i am pretending . you really cant please anyone. my brother inlaw tried very hard to preventhis brother from marrying me, he saw me as an obstacle and said his brother was spending too much money on me. he cooked up so many lies against me but my husband found out what his brother was up to. each time his mother visits, she always finds an opportunity to insult me and call me names but it got to a point i couldnt take the insults anymore and had to stand up to her. in my case, they all depend on my husband financially and each time my husband is not in a position to assist them, they put the blame on me. i suggest it's better for a man not to allow his sibblings and wife live under the same roof because issues will always arise.
250 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 250 of 250Madam of the house... advise your husband to change the house to two 2bedroom apartment... you and your husband carry one his family carry one...simple...
You must never confront his family to move out....
Before seeing your name I knew u were ibo, u pple never give any married member of your family space. They never let the union of a couple grow. A newly wed couple shh have their privacy. Its even in d bible a man wld leave his parents house be wit his wife. Ir the mother n his siblings care about him n want that marriage to grow they shde pls go and get their own apartment. And u ikeena am sure u r libing in your bros house ad wld even marry n bear children there.its best u pray n plead wit your husband to get them a place. All these family pple wit their wahala sef.
MzDeei said- the problem we girls think is that we can actually change a guy nd dat is so not true. anyway, ild advice she doesnt confront he family to send them away. she should endure cos dats wat marriage is all about.
Hahaha... Sex in the kitchen ke kwa? How? On top stove? Lmao!
linda swallow my comment well well u try ode,as for d lady pls learn to live wt them see them as ur own family living in ur husband's house.
left for me u shld ask him to get a 2 bedroom or smtin more affordable for u both.for the dumb asses who say she is selfish n is an idiot are bigger idiots becos u wnt understand until u r married n r in a similar situation..tht goes to ikenna n the rest
just starting making out in random places you know you will be "caught" they will soon get the picture and ask him to get them their own place trust me it works....be overly affectionate with him enough to make them not want to be in the same room with you two...
U ibos that's the order of d day! Even your whole village can come live with u. I really find dis act ridiculous. No privacy nothing, the family take over d couple home, all in all it balls down to poverty
U r d idiot...I bet u want to live wit ur parent till u die. A̶̲̥̅ man shd leave his parent n clif to d wife..read ur bible more often mumu...
wow,quite touching.its no easy task coping with little privacy in your matrimonial home so i strongly feel for her.my advice will be to either try persuading the husband a lil more,or start making plans to leave,cos i know how stubborn and agrresive such inlaws could be when asked to leave so just work on leaving them.make some tangible income for yourself,$1200 weekly earnings working part-time for some U.S.-based online firms.mail me at frankkunrazer@yahoo.com for more info
Dear Wife,
You better adjust!!!!!
For your own sanity and the longevity of your marriage, adjust to the situation.
Your husband's people were in that house before you. Instead of moving in with them, you should have INSISTED that your husband rent an apartment BEFORE getting married. Even if he didn't live there 24/7, or even if he rented it a few weeks/months before the wedding date, at least you knew that come the night of your wedding oo, you have your own space.
(I even have to wonder, did you guys DTD* before marriage??? If you did, how the hell were you comfortable knowing they were next door? #justsaying )
This is one of those situations where it is just too late to complain. Mostly because the Nigerian culture encourages communal living, involving extended family. If it was the US or UK, you grew up abroad, or you are not Nigerian/African, you would have an advantage. But it sounds like none of the three apply so buck up and ADJUST accordingly!!!
***Lush
Anon August 15, 2012 10:07 PM; i could have sworn it was Yorubas who do it.
My dear, ask God to give u a change of heart in this situation. If you can tolerate and love them more, trust me your husband's love will multiply.its not like I don't understand where u are coming from, I do but you have to be patient. Besides, you are lucky that they aren't giving you problems as such( bcos there will always be issues). My sister was living with her mum inlaw, her sister inlaw and her hubby's cousins in a two bedroom house in abuja immediately after her marriage and for over four years into her marriage. But as God will have it, her hubby and his brothers were able to secure a flat for them which they later moved to in abuja. So my advice is that you should open up your heart to them,your love for your hubby should be extended to them in that way you will begin to enjoy and appreciate their company. Love wins all things.
Allthat jazz u r a big fool,may God punish u4dat
uhhmmm, I can certainly understand your distress. When you 1st get married, you want that time alone to know your husband without the extra attachments. Its a tough situation since they were there. The only advice i have is that you should be patient and keep praying that your husband finally listens to you and move you guys out to a new place. Moving his family out will be without a doubt the worst problem you can cause in that household. So my dear be patient and continue to pressure ur hubby for a new crib for you and him alone. Even if it is 1 or 2 bedroom you need privacy.
Onome u must be a single lady,long hisssss
Madam talk true! u want to send them out so you can bring your own family members to the house!lie lie woman,privacy ke...hiss
A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife as one flesh! That's the word of God sister, you thinking right but don't confront them. You shod speak to your husband and if he is a real man he would understand without so much explanation. Especially if he can afford it.
Am sure most of the people insulting her are either single (clueless) or people like her husbands people who just can't leave a couple to live in peace. Get d fuck out of there house you monitoring spirits! Yea! They Are not troubling her now but watch when they buy her a new car. Speak to your hubby now and find a solution 4 them to pack out quick or you will so regret it later. Also both sides will respect each other more because of the love y'll have for the man of the house.
1. beg GOD to help u get them another place to live. the next thing is for you to use what God has given you.
2. welcome ur husband with sexy lingerie on and make sure that his brother is coming behind u.
3. try and get him to make out with you in d parlor and when it is getting to the heat of things interupt him and tell him that u guys have to go upstairs cos of ur house guests.
3. wear something provocative in d kitchen while making his dinner and be playing with him also making sure that his mother is probably coming into the kitchen at that time.
by the time his family members interupt him like 5 times or his brother sees u in all these provocative attires at least 3 times sharply sharply he'll get them their own place with immediate alacrity.
I had same situation my sister, my mother in law lived with me for ist 3years of my marriage 1st year she was such an angel , 2 and 3rd she started commanding orders in my home. Telling everyone what to do, telling me what to cook. And basically she running the house , inviting her other children for 2-3weeks with there kids without telling me, all sorts. I was quiet to those years but wasn't easy I cried so much alone but my husband never noticed that I was miserable. Until I finally got the courage to tell my pastor 3years after he called him for counselling and explained the bible to him. He came back and said he had no idea I was going through all that he thought was happy with her, that I should have told him. Immediately he arranged an apartment, driver, house help for her with the help of his other brothers her other sons in US and that was how she left. Now I feel like a wife and a mother, made my own decisions and orders. We visit her from time to time and she is also happy to see her grand children my kids "HONOR UR FATHER AND MOTHER" not marry them "LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH"....dis is the word of god in the bible. God bless you all as we live in peace!
Dear wife, I will advise u since u asked that a good christian woman must be wise and the virtuos woman. u have 2 options
1) start saving some money and inform yr hubby that u need him to assist u in locating a nice home in which u need to start a family or
2) u dont plan to start having kids until u have more space or a different environment in which to raise a family es claim that u need to turn one of the rooms into a nurser and another into a study/office. its all about God given wisdom
so if he is desperate for kids he will acquiesce to yr request.
i must say u must be desperate to get hitched if u can't sort out such problems b4 agreeing to the arrangement and thus have only yrself to blame. women BEWARE!!!
I seriously don't understand the statement "they were there before u" So why did he decide to get married in the first place? Isn't it supposed to be that a man leaves his family and cling unto his wife? 2 people cannot even enjoy their first year of marriage alone before having children. Na wa o. Nigerians and their archaic way of thinking...jeez!
Uv said it all,dat ws a wonderful advice....and also,she shld strt seeing dem as family before dt unnecessary rivalry n hatred sets in.
my sister i knw how u feel but dont do what u will later regret for the rest of ur life.forcing them to leave ,is a very bad idear.u have creatd internal conflirt between u and ur in law.remember u ll need them 1 day 4 help.talk to ur husband kindly k
Please, dont kill ur heart for nothing. They are not given you problem , why are you borger ? You and your husband has your own room. They ve been there before you accepted the guy, please hold your peace.
Eddy
You need not confront them all u need is to keep explaining to ur man u need ur space. Wat these men dont understand is the fact that it is in the Bible that a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife/new family. God knows the attachment humans have with their family and he knows the need for 'the man' to bond with his new found love to recreate and ve his own family who then becomes his SOLE responsibility. Your mistake is the same i made when i got married 7 yrs ago. Though i asked for my husband's sibling to move in with him thinking it will be fun since they are all girls and moreover our wedding was on d way but dt was my greatest undoing. I saw hell! I later ran for my life under d disguise of returning to school in a separate state with my 5months old baby. Thank God we got our own place when i finally returned to Lagos but i went thru hell.My dear just be calm becos it wont be forever but till then let things be for peace to reign.
annonymous 5.26pm u have so much point and wisdom on ur coment infact i hv also learn frm ur coment cos i have a similer case wt dis lady but nt as bad as hers thou,linda pls dis is nt ur coment so post.
This girl is very stupid. The man OWNS the house and you want him to pay RENT to someone else?? What man will agree to that? Didn't you see this coming??
The best thing is for you to move your own mother and brother or male cousin in as well. Your house is not crowded enough. Don't be aggressive, just say, your mother or elderly aunt wants to come and stay. He can't say no. After a few months, he will start feeling crowded.
The truth is, if it was your own family living with you, you would probably not complain. So do not complain about his own family. Just move yours in and when he asks you to chase them out, the condition must be that ALL in-laws go.
Don't move a female cousin in o! That na recipe for disaster.
Linda, It is unfortunate that most of your blog readers are real mean fools, Idiots with this messy Nigerian mentality. I'm a man and am also privacy. Even not anyone from my home could spend more than 2 weeks in my home. The kind of mentalities here would make me live with a white. Ndi ara full everywhere, Idiots that doesn't know the meaning of PRIVACY.
do you know if the house belongs to his father ehhh now you want to kick his wife and children out because of your greed. when you were dating him dem no offend you no dem don put ring for your finger dem now become parasite abi you best tread carefully if you don want fire on the mountain
his family members were there before u came in,now u want him to chase dem out.are u truly a good wife?they dont give u trouble yet u want them out.2010 is just two years.my friend,relax,dis is not even an issue.
You say they do not give you problems, that the house is as big as 4 bedroom duplex, that they were living there before you where brought in. Just listen to yourself and look around the current condition of this country and tell me if you are for real. I thank God that I shall not meet you when i will want to marry. I also pray that God will not bring you and connect me and your in any way.
CONFRONTING THE FAMILY IS NOT THE BEST GIRL,TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO DEVIDE THE APARTEMENT.SENDING THEM AWAY WONT BE FAIR.THOUGH I UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT.
foolish woman you are. His parents family aren't giving you problems but you want them to leave the house for you. Women of now a days sha...didn't you know the day he paid your bride price you were getting married to his entire family and not just him alone? what space do you need sef? or you wanna bring in another man when he's not around? or you wanna turn him into your toy? or perhaps your friends asked you to do so? Woman better build your home than break it. Leave them alone in as much as they aren't giving you problems
I have never commented on a blog but your question needs to be addressed. My girlfriend had the same issue with husband(husband 2 sisters and a brother living with them)when they got married,due to her fairy tale dream of how marriage shoul be, she made him rent a 2 bedroom apartment. 2years later she put to bed her first child and exactly a year later she had the second child. She is the last of her siblings and her parents are late. His mum came around to care for the baby from kano, but she soon travelled back. she hired nannies(young and old), but they always left. She then asked her husband's baby sister(high school) to move back in to help with the kids and general stuff( not as a nanny but someone that she could rely on til she finds a perm solution) so she can resume her career as well as go back to school for an MBA( at least more trust worthy than nannies) the other husband siblings said no. My point is this, you want the whole , this is my home and bla bla bla which is nice but i assure you that there will come a time you will need family around you. Her story is an example. Your in-laws are not treating you wrong. You married into the family. My advice is let things be as it is. Fringe benefits are - when u need a quick mini honeymoon with your husband at least you know grandma is there to watch over them with love and care; the love is natural; and you are not alone. Treat family as yours and you will also receive not just love but allegiance, loyalty and sincere prayer from the family for you. My comment focused more on one aspect of having family around. The point is, you can never know wha tomorrow will bring and since they are not stepping on your toes always endeavor to win them to urside. ALWAYS!
y'all insulting d lady shud chill...its nt fair at all....she wants her own home. family members are allowed to visit but nt stayin permanently.....she cnt hv sex in d kitchen if she wants to....she doesnt feel like she owns d home..wen u get married, ud undrtnd her plight....jst pray abt it hun and try and make ur husband see reasons y he shud get dem a place
Forget all this religious talk. for one monthnack the sht outta your husband and make so much noise that they can't sleep.
after the first month make sure youboth get caught naked doing some freak ship by his parents...
If they still don't move then you have no hope.
Very good advice!
Very good advice!
First of all, she didn't come from nowhere as many of you have eloquently put it. And she's also not trying to render anyone homeless. They both decided that the husband would get his family another accommodation after their marriage. Its actually not his responsibilty. Like it or not, she is his family now. And its also very important for a couple to live alone for the first few years of marriage. No matter how pleasant the in laws are.
Why are men's relatives always a source of stress? My parents paid our first year's rent as a way of reducing the stress of living as adults and yet it took a lot of convincing for them to even come and see the place. When they eventually came, they refused to enter our bedroom because they felt that it would be invading our privacy. My husband's family contribute nothing to our livelihood but complain a lot about how little of our privacy they are allowed into. Many in laws do not know where to cross the line. It's very irritating coming back home after a long day and on your bed lies your mother inlaw, his sister etc. Its very rude to ask a wife to excuse herself from aroom because you want to have a private conversation with her husband. As though she were a child. I sometimes envy women whose husbands have late mothers.
@anon 5:06......lol...you're crazy but soooo on point.
I am really surprised and happy for the good remarks made so far. i beliv in having ur space, very necessary for growth. But i dont think it is wise for you to confront his pple. You shud not have moved in after marriage to that house, there are good and bad sides to that. A couple need to be alone for the first few years of their marriage so they know themselves properly without outside (family)influence. Anyways, continue to talk to our husband gently and PRAY!
Why create trouble in your happy marriage?Weren't you all smiles when you met them?Now you want them out, may God continue to grant peace in your home.Amen
R u a witch dt u dont wnt people around u since dey dont giv u problems ,if u nid ur privacy den use ur moni nd rent an apartment for dem so dey can move in.four bedroom duple is not enough for ur space nawaohh ,anyway i undastand maybe u hav littles ones dt u wnt dem to stay wit u nd no sace for dem.
And so what?..I repeat,she NEEDS privacy..
This is a loose loose situation, u had better bone.
This is for every single individual insulting the lady.. You do not know where the shoe hurts, until you wear it.. Its not like she is asking him to kick them out.. He promised to find them another apartment, she is only just calling him out, on his promise.. If you were in her shoes, i am sure you would make more noise... Some people just like their own privacy and i am one of those people. I have seen a situation whereby the man's siblings neva left the house, even after their first child was conceived.. Assuming the siblings get too comfortable and dont leave, what should she do then?? The earlier the better.. If the husband can afford to move them, he should.. If the siblings and mother have any love and respect for their marriage, they would move out.. Whether, they are giving her trouble or not is not the issue..She should take them as her siblings ke?? Sure, that is doable even when they arent living in thesame house.. I love my siblings but i wouldnt want to leave with them everyday at this age.. C'moooooooon!!
Aswear! It is Igbo men that made those comments. There nothing nicer than a woman having her own space in her husband's house. She is not kicking them out of the house. She just needs space to properly execute her duties as a wife....#shikena
it has nothing to do with wickedness. it is not appropriate for a man's sibblings and his wife to live under the same roof. no matter how much we hate to admit it, no woman prays for that. my sister inlaw and brother inlaw live with me. they are older than me. no matter how hard u try to please them, the truth is that u have little control over how people percieve you. when i try to really please them, they tell me i am pretending . you really cant please anyone. my brother inlaw tried very hard to preventhis brother from marrying me, he saw me as an obstacle and said his brother was spending too much money on me. he cooked up so many lies against me but my husband found out what his brother was up to. each time his mother visits, she always finds an opportunity to insult me and call me names but it got to a point i couldnt take the insults anymore and had to stand up to her. in my case, they all depend on my husband financially and each time my husband is not in a position to assist them, they put the blame on me. i suggest it's better for a man not to allow his sibblings and wife live under the same roof because issues will always arise.
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