Dilemma + Chimamanda's 'The Things Around Your Neck' | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Thursday 16 July 2009

Dilemma + Chimamanda's 'The Things Around Your Neck'

250 years of Guinness
250 Guests
A night of Greatness
Dresscode: Black with a touch of gold
Date: Sat. 18th July 09
Venue: Jade Palace, V/I

A grand event, and I am one of the 250 special guests. Ha! I'm becoming a VIP! It's not an easy something oh! :-). Watch this space for what yours truly will be wearing to the event!

Dilemma
Ok, to today's post, I got a very emotional email from a reader of this blog who says she needs help desperately. And after reading her mail, I was bewildered. I've heard a lot of issues about relationships and marriages but I've never heard of anything like this before.

It's so complicated I don't know how to explain it but I'll try.

She's a newly wed, she got married sometime this year, and she's currently faced with a huge problem: She says she can't stand her husband making love to her. She says everytime he's on top of her, she feels like throwing up. She says the only way she gets through love making with him is to completely disconnect herself from the act; and to get through the sex, she keeps telling herself, this is my husband making love to me...not a stranger, not a rapist, not a spiritualist, but my husband!

She says she's not frigid because she's had other lovers in the past and nothing like that ever happened with them. Even when she was dating her husband, it didn't happened with him, so she doesn't understand why it's happening now that they are married. She says she loves him and does not understand why she can't stand making love with him.

Ok, like I said, I've never heard anything like this before so I don't even know the first thing to say to her. I'm hoping there's someone out there with an answer for her. I'm thinking it's psychological...what do you guys think?


Let's move on to something else...
Chimamanda Adichie's 'The Things Around Your Neck'
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was at the Silverbird Galleria, Lagos, on Saturday, July 11th 2009 to promote her new book, The Thing Around Your Neck. Published locally by Farafina Books, The Thing Around Your Neck is a collection of short stories exploring the ties that bind men and women, parents and children, Africa and the United States. Searing and profound, suffused with beauty, sorrow, and longing, these stories map, with Adichie’s signature wisdom, the collision of cultures and the deeply human struggle to reconcile them.

Award-winning author of Purple Hibiscus and Half of a Yellow Sun, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has been described as “the 21st century daughter of Chinua Achebe”. The author entertained questions from the crowd about her book, writing and the burden of being slowly identified as Chinua Achebe’s heir(ess).

The event also marked the launch of Farafina Week, a week-long celebration of Farafina Books, offering the best in contemporary African literature, at the Silverbird Lifestyle Store.

thing-around
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Pictures thanks to werunthings.net

Please help our agony sis understand what's happening with her...thanks.

8 comments:

your local therapist :P said...

hey linda, here's my thought,i think it might be worthwhile for her and her husband to see a sex therapist, that's their primary job description after all. I think she should talk to her husband about it though depending on how open their relationship is,it's very possible that they might have to start all over again (in the sense of rekindling the romance, flirting etc) basically baby steps towards having sex. hope i made some sense. good luck!!

doll (retired blogger) said...

bought and red the book...lovely
As per theldy she should seek counselling and prayers from her local assembly

TKB's thoughts said...

I think there's more to this that she's not saying, anyway, its advisable that she seek help from Experts on this type of thing. She can also discuss this openly with her husband if he is the understanding type. Above all, she should be prayefully, for all you know, there may be a spiritual angle to this. Cheers

Anonymous said...

she's not in love with him..period. dis happened with me n my ex but it dawned on me later that i could stand him but i wasnt in love.. the thing is she knows this but doesnt want to admit it.she's probably scared she'll hurt him but the earlier d better.

wienna said...

Strong prayers & fasting should be done in this couple's case o.

Anonymous said...

TRUTH HURTS.she doesnt love him.if she HAS to stay in that marriage,then she has to get drunk b4 sleeping with him.abi,wienna how u c am

Anonymous said...

is either she doesnt love the hoby or she is seeing another guy. she shld let her hoby knw nd then see a love therapist.

ola said...

People need to understand that there are some situations whereby you need a professional opinion and not that of a blogger and her readers. That being said, I think her situation is quite complicated and that she needs to seek counselling.

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