This has nothing to do with me o, so don't wonder, just answer the question mehn...lol
Really want to know what you guys think.
Seriously is any man worth it? Giving up your dreams for them? Not living the life you want while they live theirs? Is it fair for any man to even demand that? You see a lot women give up their dreams just to be wives and mothers, is it fair to them?
What do you say?
29 comments:
First!
Well ...I hope I was 1st ....
well since you talking in the sense of giving up you dream for 'them' a man being 'worth it'
well I wouldn't do it for anybody I would do it depending on how it would effect us and my future family. If it was for the best then I would if it's not then I wouldn't have to weight some things out.
It's important to note that love isn't selfish...whenever you find selfish presence - then know clearly love is absence!
re your question about giving up your vocation or profession etc. I believe love(true love) is much more.You can died for "true" love!! I must admit it's easy said than done..but it's real.
Hey I'm first here!!
wooooh, Linda, this is a big one here, me thinks.
Well, I think it depends...it sure doesn't seem fair at first glance, but I guess we need to delve more into the circumstances of such a man and woman...for instance, is this man making the request because they would be relocating after getting married? if yes, then I guess she would need to weigh her options to decide between marrying and relocating with her dream man, and holding unto her dream job/career.
If however, it is purely an issue of male ego (e.g. I don't want my wife to work)...then I think she needs to decide if that's the kind of man she wants to spend the rest of her life with, in the first place.
So, no, I haven't given a direct/clear cut response to your question...I'll simply say it depends on a lot of other mitigating factors, including the personalities of the man and woman involved...
Good question though...worth considering...
cheers
A man that loves you wont ask you to give up your dreams/happiness...He'll support you instead. My 2 cents
it depends on the dude,,
if he rocks your world you just might......tough decision though.
on the other hand, if he loves and cares for ya he wouldnt ask you to give up your dreams just because.he ll help you see them come true......
so a man askin me to give my dreams up just to be with him is BULLCRAP!!!!!!!!!!!excuse my language
The only question you should ask which one makes u happier your career or getting married also weight your options if you have a problem with your other half would you blame him/her for leaving your career? or if you find yourself losing intrest in your career would you blame yourself for not getting married? which senerio would make you happy?
I believe every marriage deserves some degree of sacrifice and compromise. If he marries me first, then i can think of reducing my working hours. Most men who give such conditions, wreck the life of the woman, and end up jilting her without marriage. If he wants her to quit, ther must be a viable alternative..
i like the comments so far...
yep..i will give up my medical career to be a wife for a year or 2 , but after that ...i am back at work... love will make u do many things.... lol
sacrifice....marriage....
to each their own....
i don tire for work sef....i want enjoyment small...
Being married or getting married is not an end in itself, because life goes on. If it's a man with vision and has a plan of how your dreams would eventually materialize along with his in the future, then you can give them up in the interim to take care of what needs to be taken care of such as kids, but not giving it up entirely. Besides this, giving up your dream for a man is not worth it at all. Some of them request a woman to give up her dreams so that they can be in charge or because they are insecure. The best of men are still men. This is strictly my opinion. I personally would not do it.
That's a very tricky question...can't really answer it either..the ques. is too broad. What are the circumstances, why can she do what she loves were ever they are at, etc....it really depends...but I agree with My Own Thing..love is not selfish.
just like the 1st Annonymous said, if a man really loves you he would not want yoy to give up your career. I personally won't give up what i love for a man...And Linda thanks for stopping by my blog. Take care sweets !
IMO, a career alone doesn't make one happy, neither does a marriage alone. Yes marriages/relationship require sacrifices and compromises, however both parties involved should be involved in sacrificing. Haba haven't we all watched Waiting to exhale by now? Angela Bassett's character gave up everything to help her husband become the man he was, and after over a decade he dumps her.
I don't recommend giving up your goals to make someone else happy in a relationship, because it might cause resentment or disappointment somewhere down the line. Someone has already stated, a man who loves that woman won't ask her to give up something that obviously brings her joy because her happiness would be important to him.
if he loves u then he is not gonna make u give up your carrer while he is enjoying his.
Life goes on after marriage and at some point the woman might start feeling some resentment towards the man and things could go downhill from there.
as for me? i'll definitely make some compromises for marriage but givin up my career is definitely not an option. after 20something years of toiling, midnight jacking etc? u never serious.
No, I won't and I won't. My hubby is here and is reading it! I won't!
And can any woman ask that of a man? At least it's a partnership...
don't think so. with my kinda of personality, i would regret not satisfying my hunger or passion. I believe in compromise and a common ground can be reach at some point with proper dialogue.
And just as other have said, it also depends on the reason the man gives. Some men make a lot of money and would prefer their women to just stay at home and spend the money for them while taking care of house duties of course. Some men do take pampering to the extremes! I see that a lot livin in the midwest-us
There is a season for everything as my father always says. If such a conflict arises, then maybe it's not yet the season to become a WIFE! :-0
http://wumikay.blogspot.com
I think this has everything to do with YOU so dont hide away. Anyway, what I would tell you is most men may not be worth it but that special man that you feel soo right about is definitely worth it because another name for true love is sacrifice. Cheers.
Yes I would and I have.....and Ill never ever ever repeat such craze in this life or the next......
.....truth is never give up ur dream either u are a guy or girl, cos more often than not...it will come bark and hunt you.......
bottom line is if ur man/woman loves u....he or she will suport u regardless.....rather than give up ur dream....u can delay it.....but sure fo fulfil it sis......
being a married woman with 3 kids..i would put it this way..it seems harsh if it is phrased as giving up ur dreams..lets rephrase it this way and say...if it is in the best interest of the family it is fine...i am a typical example of that...i relocated from Tx to California bcos of my husband...when i first came here i hated everything about it..i left a fantastic job, my comfort zone,family, dear dear friends and came here which is a 360 degree turn bcos it is totally different way too fast paced..i was much younger though..im not sure i'll do it now...but i'll say this that God can bless u anywhere u are...i settled in got a great job, and he blessed me greatly with a wonderful family...so in essence, it is really a matter of perspective..
WOULD HE GIVE UP HIS CAREER FOR YOU???? IF HE CAN THEN YOU CAN TO.....
Would i give upmy dreams for a man? you mean my dad? (joking)
I will not give up my dreams for a man.NEVER! not for anything.
i mean i could take off a few years( two years max) to nurse my child, but become a full housewifey? c'mon FEMALE LIBERATION! was that a waste?
seriously! think ahead! besides if he truly loves you,he would support and encourage you to go after your dreams!
Good one Linda...
I'm a happily married guy with a fantastic wife & Chioma (April 28, 2009 2:15 PM) said it perfectly. Wife of a friend of mine gave up her dream job and relocated to New York from Chicago to be with her man. Now she's happily married to someone who treats her well and family is lovely.
It's unwise to just rule it out and say "never" because as justdoyin (April 27, 2009 1:12 PM) said "it depends on a lot of other mitigating factors."
abeg o ...mind all my typos in my previous post!!! i usually type in d dark!!!!
Giving up your career is TOTALLY different from giving up your dreams.....We live in a world where ppl are id by their jobs so we keep mixing up the two. Your career/job will give you a pay cheque...your dreams will give you wings! Your dreams are part of your essence...who you are. It can manifest itself in different career options. And so, yes u can give up ur career for your man, depending on the circumstance (to start/raise a family, relocation...) but it should be done out of compromise/love not as a sacrifice...big difference. The former will never be a bad decision even if the relationship does not work out but the latter will leave u with resentment and anger. BTW, to give up your dreams is to give up u, what will he be left with??? a shadow of u!lol Only abusive men or insecure men will want to kill your dreams or ask you to give it up...
i really would nut say it as giving up ur dreams...bcos dreams can be pursued anywhere...regardless of location...but if the man specifically describes it as giving up ur dreams for him then he is selfish and self centered....the phrasing giving up ur dreams...is really what i have a beef with..it sounds too self possessed and indulgent
@ Anonymous {comment 24): job is different from career. Job will give you the pay. But your career is in line with your dream. In fact is about your dream. That's why u see an accountant that has a dream of being an actor which will eventually become her career.
And I am yet to see the cirmustance that shd make a woman leave her job for a man wihtout attempting to get a new one. It might be for both of you moving to a high level.As it's evidence in some husbands that move abroad to joing thier wives... I am sure they didnt quit thier career that's just another level of enhance it.
@ Elsie: exactly!
i don,t think it worth it, because if you end up jobless, i strongly believe that they can,t copy with u being liability on them, is good to keep your job, cus he may end up with another woman in a short while.
MEN WILL BE MEN.
We human being are different, God created us differently, even twins are different too. I know someone in my Uni days that gave up her studies( before she finally came to my Uni),for a boyfriend(as in gave the money to the guy). He finally jilted her. But i cannot judge by what happen to her. If faith have it that given up my job or whatsoever with take me to a new dimension, why won't i do it for what my family. we also need to reach compromise. God lead us.
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