Judging people

Do you judge people? I bet you do. We all do. I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say I don't judge. I used to be the worst offender. When I hear or see something, I'm the first to pass judgement. I will be the prosecutor, the judge and the executioner. I used to say it's just my opinion but now I know I have been passing judgement for years.

When I was much younger I used to look down on every girl that had a sugar daddy or any girl I knew messed around. Oh, I didn't care what your circumstances was, I didn't care how poor your parents were, how many people were depending on you, I didn't want to hear your story, 'cos I had my own story...you had no excuse, to me you were a slut. I felt like they were beneath me...I was so fixed on my ideals and nothing else was acceptable to me.

I talk and joke freely about sex now...but some years back you probably wouldn't catch me dead mentioning the word sex. It was taboo to me and I used to judge those who I knew were having sex. If I wasn't having sex at 22, no woman had any excuse to...
I basically set a standard, not just for me but for every young girl my age and if you didn't meet up to the standard, you were loose to me.

But as I grew older, I realised how set I was in my ways...now I'm a bit more flexible.

I can set a standard for myself, but I have no right to set a standard for anyone else and look down on them when they don't act or think like me. If I wasn't having sex, what gives me the right to expect other girls not to?

When news broke that Annie Macauley was pregnant...I was the first to say 'why did she involve herself in that mess? what a stupid girl'. I felt I was entitled to say it because in my mind I told myself; I would never do it. I would have more pride as a woman...oh, I judged her. But you know what? Because it's not right for me does not mean it's not right for her. Because I think it's not right doesn't mean it's wrong. And it's easy for me to say I'll never do it, maybe I will never do it, but until you are actually in a situation, you can never know exactly how you are going to act. So it's basically saying "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."

I have been judged. Oh, so many times, more times than I will ever wish for you...and it sucks to be judged, especially when it's very harsh. So knowing the pain of that, why do we still judge other people? Why do we believe it is our right to judge others? Why are some of us so used to it? Does it mark our place in life? I feel like we judge others in a certain way, to distinguish what we don’t wish to do, say, or be. Sometimes we even do it unconsciously.

I don't think there's anyone who doesn't judge...if we don't say it it's because we don't want to be disrespectful or maybe we don't want to be attacked. I'm sure there are some of you who think that I'm an ass...there are a few people who I think are downright annoying.

I think judging people is part of human nature. Whether it’s a good or bad opinion we make of someone, usually it’s already formed in our minds. If we want to be sincere with ourselves, is it possible to have an impassive view of everyone we meet? Is it possible to have no expectations of other people? Is it possible to shut out any preconceived thoughts we have of them in our minds?

Sincerely? You and I will always judge...we can't help it. It is easy to look at someone's action and come to our own conclusions. It is easy to decide whether we like someone from spending time with them or not. It easy to see a hairdo, a dress and decide how cheap, dirty it is. It is easy to see someone and say they're nasty.We will go to an event and think it was crap. We will watch a TV programme and think it's nonsense. We will read an interview and say 'what is this one talking about sef?' We will think some people aren't educated enough, or don't speak or write well enough. We will see a girl dancing with a cigarette in one hand and a drink in another and call her a slut. We will forever judge our past presidents and governors and blame them for all our problems...when a guy asks us out, we will look at him from head and toe and think 'Please get lost','cos we feel they're aren't good enough for us, without even getting to know them. We will judge to choose a political candidate on election day. We have to judge whether or not we want to have a relationship with someone. We judge single mothers, unmarried women, divorced couples, poor people, rich people, gay men...the list goes on.

We humans will always have our opinions on something and someone.

Can we stop judging completely? Maybe not...but we can reduce it. Let's try not to judge so readily and so often. And in our judgement of others, let's not be destructive, but constructive and humane. You can say/think that I am stupid...but dont say/think that I am evil. I will say/think that you were dump or maybe foolish but I won't say you're the devil.

In our judgement, let's not be unneccesarily cruel and wicked. When you remember how much it hurts to be judged, try to be merciful. Don't be so hurtful and mean. When I look around me, I love too many people...and when I pass judgement, it's not so ugly that I can't say it out loud. Besides, passing judgement constructively can sometimes help people learn and grow. It doesn't always have to be negative. If I don't tell you your show was crap, how are you going to make it better next time?

On a lighter note; Even if you don't want to judge, there are some people who don't make it easy for you. Sometime last week I asked a girl if she would be interested in an ushering job, she looked at me from head to toe and said "Excuse you?" lol. She didn't say excuse me, but 'excuse you' with a condescending look...I called her names in my mind...lol. So the thing is; how is it possible not to get annoyed at some blatantly rude people you have to deal with everyday? You will always feel like slapping someone and when you can't, you call them names...albeit lightly.

"When you’re confident enough in your own ability to move through life without having to tear others down in order to build yourself up, judgements about others can be lessened without a loss of personal progress."

We all judge and we will be judged, that is why I wrote this post http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/search?q=the+person+in+the+mirror to help you deal with being judged.

And remember, before you judge others, you must judge yourself first.

May God give us the strength and wisdom to act in the right way, if not always, then at least most of the time.

I will be doing a lot of blogging this weekend, 'cos I'm gonna be MIA through out next week. Hopefully, I will blog enough to keep you occupied for a week. Can I? We'll see...lol

See y'all tomorrow.

Kisses!