"I feel sorry for Goodluck Jonathan" - Etcetera writes | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 20 December 2014

"I feel sorry for Goodluck Jonathan" - Etcetera writes

From Mr. Etcetera...
I think I am the most criticised President in the whole world, but I want to tell this audience that before I leave, I will be the most praised President,” said President Goodluck Jonathan at the opening of the 52nd Annual General Meeting of the Nigerian Bar Association at the International Conference Centre in Abuja.
Hey guys, I guess you know that pointing fingers is not my style, hahaha, just as I know that it will be difficult to find a single Nigerian who hasn’t pointed fingers at President Goodluck Jonathan since he became President. But really, can so many fingers be pointed at a single individual all at the same time? Some people have gone to the extent of saying that since Jonathan took office, everything has gone to hell in a handbasket. Others have held him responsible for everything that has gone wrong in the country, from the tear in their pants to the economy. Trust me: Nigerians are beginning to agree that when it comes to assigning blame, look to Jonathan first. There are some hardliners who don’t care if Jonathan wasn’t President during the civil war. He must have been thinking about it, and that’s good enough reason for them. They even say that if he hadn’t been sticking his nose into government, the civil war wouldn’t have happened. Funny, Nigerians have found the perfect target for dealing with their bad days. Late to work? Blame Jonathan! Did the soup in the fridge melt when you weren’t looking? It’s Goodluck Jonathan. Can’t find your smelling socks? Jonathan! Your baby pees on the chair, again? Jonathan. The possibilities are endless! Hey, are we not just being unfair to Goodluck Jonathan? We blame him for all and everything. Even for things that are not his fault. Let me ask you something sir or madam, if Jonathan is to blame for everything wrong in Nigeria today, what becomes of the previous presidents under whose regimes most of these problems started?

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On Tuesday evening on my way back from NTA, I stopped at the Bar Beach to buy suya. I was a little bit early because I met the aboki lighting his charcoal. As I waited, I saw two weird looking rastas looking like archangels Michael and Gabriel in their white Cele garments walk down to just about five yards from the water, raised their holy robes in unison like atilogwu dancers trying to master a new dance routine and bent down and began to defecate. Couples of minutes later, I heard them walking back complaining of how dirty and smelly the beach had become from what it used to be. As they passed by me, the taller one said “omo naija, presido no dey try at all. See as this place don yamayama finish, dem no dey see as those oyinbo beach be for inside film wey we dey watch?” At that point, I couldn’t hold back my anger. I just had to say something: “Shebi na una just shit finish for that place so? And una get mouth dey blame the president. Una see him shit for there?”

We are having a distant relationship with the truth in this country. We have developed that rare ability to be hypocritical and not so much as give a damn whether we are equally guilty of the things we are blaming on others. In truth, Goodluck Jonathan should roll up his sleeves, spit on his palms and get to work on a lot of things. We keep saying that corruption escalated under his regime but why do we keep failing to associate it with the fact that these corrupt individuals are Nigerians? I listened to some custom officers saying that If it wasn’t for Goodluck Jonathan’s backward policies, everything at the Nigerian borders would be perfect. Yes, let us keep dumping everything on Goodluck Jonathan. Even our own responsibilities as citizens. He’s the reason our custom and police officers are more interested in collecting bribes than fighting crime and checking for contraband goods coming into the country. It is also Jonathan’s fault that the security operatives at the Lagos airport have all turned beggars. Should the president also take the rap for the Director-General of the Standards Organisation of Nigeria not being able to see that the nation is littered with fake products? Maybe Goodluck Jonathan should be with him daily and point him towards fake products and manufacturers. The fight to save this country does not begin or stop at Janathan’s table. It must be an all Nigerian battle. Let the pastors stop praying for corrupt politicians and tell them to their faces to stop stealing public funds. If all drivers have their complete vehicle papers and obey traffic laws, there will be no need to give out money to the police and we will be on our way to a better society.

Ask yourself where your governor got the billions he spends on frivolities? People in the rural areas of Akwa Ibom state are living in thatched houses and we are building another stadium? Have you tried asking what the Abia State Government did with the state’s allocation for eight years? Do you think President Jonathan will be allowed a minute of sleep if he failed to remit monies due to the states? So why then do we pour all the blames on him? Your governor owns empty estates in Dubai and factories in South Africa when people of their states are homeless and jobless, is that Jonathan’s fault too? Where did we get the preposterous notion that President Jonathan took office and people started having trouble finding jobs? Did we have a zero unemployment rate in the country before President Jonathan? Millions of Nigerians are working their asses out and dying as contract staffs and casual workers, where is the NLC? Is it not aware of the appalling working conditions Nigerian workers are subjected to by multinationals? Of course, it is all Jonathan’s fault. Last time I checked, Jonathan was a president or a magician. Should he be doing the job of the NLC too, supervising every sector of the country at the same time? Let us be truthful to ourselves, since when have we had good roads in this country? Were there roads in the country that Jonathan destroyed? Have we had electricity in the country before President Jonathan? We say Boko Haram started as a result of poverty and lack of education in the North, were there schools in the North that Jonathan destroyed? Trust me, the architects of Boko Haram know what they’re talking about when they say it is all Jonathan’s fault.

For everyone out there, below are a list of things Goodluck Jonathan is yet to be blamed for, so go ahead and make your pick and let the blame game continue: Cancer, AIDS, racism, air pollution, sin, child porn, human meat at Jankara market, home video, obesity, Drake sleeping with everyone’s chic, Kim Kardashian’s nude picture, tribalism and every other kind of ism, Arsenal’s trophyless seasons, Facebook, Twitter and Wizkid’s last album.

296 comments:

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NiKi Posh said...

Truth is sacred!

Anonymous said...

SHUT THE FUCK UP MR ETCETRA....

Thegreatdammy said...

mr president, pls do somtn abt d suspended staffs of Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority.

Magical said...

You missed your profession, oh sorry Goodluck fault. Hahaha

Thegreatdammy said...

mr president, pls do somtn abt d suspended staffs of Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm,nice one

Anonymous said...

U said it all.raskidi@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

This is just the naked truth. Oya, APC and blind punks react!

OMG!WOMAN said...

That's the thing ppl font know. They just derive pleasure in slandering PGEJ . Nigerias problems didn't start today and it's in the state of remedy which PGEJ is trying so much to remedy.

Unknown said...

He is making a point, we re the source of sm of our problems, but GEJ to has fucked up...

Anonymous said...

I love you etcetera. I want to be your friend.

Unknown said...

Well said. Nigerians are full of apportioning blame.

iyke uzoma said...

Wow! I love this piece. One thing is still remaining; was he not responsible for Man United's poor performance at the beginning of this season?

God bless the writer.

AGB said...

Etcetera, no doubt, you have a point....just a little point. However let me make it clear to you that "WHEN THE HEAD IS WEAK,THE BODY BEHAVES UNRULY." If president Jonathan cannot stand the heat of the kitchen, let him get out of the kitchen. Leadership is not for the weak-minded. Let me ask you something, whenever the super-eagles perform so badly at tournaments that the federal government put in a lot of money into, who does president Jonathan himself blame? Is it not the coach? That's right! Is it the coach that played the ball on the pitch? NO! But the players play mostly according to however the coach inspired them to.

Unknown said...

And that's the truth but still GEJ no try at all

#Omoh

AGB said...

Etcetera, no doubt, you have a point....just a little point. However let me make it clear to you that "WHEN THE HEAD IS WEAK,THE BODY BEHAVES UNRULY." If president Jonathan cannot stand the heat of the kitchen, let him get out of the kitchen. Leadership is not for the weak-minded. Let me ask you something, whenever the super-eagles perform so badly at tournaments that the federal government put in a lot of money into, who does president Jonathan himself blame? Is it not the coach? That's right! Is it the coach that played the ball on the pitch? NO! But the players play mostly according to however the coach inspired them to.

lindodo skul dota said...

A vry big thumbz up 4 sayn it all ....u makn sense.

Unknown said...

We are the problems of nigeria. Via BB bold 1

Unknown said...

let him resign

Anonymous said...

Naive & clueless

Anonymous said...

You just spoke the truth. Leadership tells alot. Good and effective leadership will always affect the followers/subordinates positively

Unknown said...

Geez!what a bad manner you've got.look that the rubbish coming out from ur stinking mouth.
FACE~OF~LIB.

Unknown said...

Spot on bro! !

yemisi Z10 said...

Sometimes I feel for him too Buh nobody for him to be president

Yemisi Z10 says so

Eka Joy said...

abeg shut up. how do u know he will do all these youve mentioned. are u dwelling in his mind?

Eka Joy said...

wen u are here busy looking for free money up and down, how will u see

Anonymous said...

Maybe dis etcetera guy is right.... But me just won ask 2 important questions.

1. Weytin Jonathan don do for 9ja for his 6 years as a leader

2. Who is d vice precident of Nigeria and why has press and bloggers refuse to mention him or her since

Unknown said...

Oh okay oo Mr Etcetera #Noted#

Juleslouis said...

Hahaha. Ouch this guy got me too. But thinking from his perspective he said the whole truth. I will personally stop blaming GEJ too. There's more to that seat than meet the eye.

Unknown said...

Heard you Etcetera #Noted#

Anonymous said...

He's not praising the president. He's saying, also look at other office holders for most of the happenings in the country. In as much as GEJ is weak, shouldn't allow others in power use him as excuse to defraud the country and pass the buck.

Unknown said...

Niger citizens have a big problem, some ago, electric wire where solling in my area, people where saying good luck fault,

Unknown said...

My people perish because they were ignorant. Most of Nigeria population are either illiterate or ignorant. The will still vote him 10 times even if their suffering is multiplying on daily basis

niffyt said...

Thanks for this

Unknown said...

There are so many things to show like the freedom you have now to call the president of your country and if possible your father's age mate names...
You want nigeria to be better when you don't even have respect. Next time you can say something constructive without ill words..

Unknown said...

# career. Uw

Anonymous said...

Mr President don't ever let them bring you down...they playing politics with the country and sponsoring boko illiterates to bring down your government.

Anonymous said...

@Linda where have you been since you travel?

Anonymous said...

There is an iota of truth in what he said, gej shouldn't be blame for everything but the he's still clueless

Unknown said...

Mr. Etcetera ur writeup makes sense nd its funny too, If we don't blame our leaders, who den suld we blame, my mama nd papa wey born me for nigeria? for good 6yrs wey Jona don dey there, nothing to show for it, abeg make dis man go sitdown for toilet

Unknown said...

The change need to start with you for calling such elderly men idiot . You know what you are doing and wrote through anonymous profile. You have no respect calling your president and his opponent idiots. Ppl like you need to be tamed o

Anonymous said...

Change they say is constant, either from good to bad or otherwise

Anonymous said...

Don't I just love u

Tabsyyy said...

Best article he's written....

Unknown said...

We all have a role to play in making the country a better place but still our leaders need to start by leading by good example unto others...then even those who are enemies of progress will begin to have a rethink of their actions

#Omoh

Unknown said...

Watch wht u say or write anonymous! Even if ur ancestors shuld be allowed to rule Nig none will ever deliver.. First work on yourself and be a good citizen.. I think the word idiot shuld for ur good for nothing parents nt Gej.

Unknown said...

na wa

Unknown said...

Gej is trying, its not easy. Just keep praying for him instead of criticising..

DOBY DOBY said...

My dear gej has really tried we al av to admit it.. he built lagos ore road, was d road nt bad durin objs tenure.. who ar u to talk bad of obj nd go scot free.. its bcos of d era we ar in nw jus bcos evrybody owns a fone nd is entitled to network den dey feel its fun insultin d presido.. my dear nig is toooo over populated deir was neva a tym we had full employment in nigeria. . U av to strive urself. Hw wil jona create jobs evrywer. . Was it nt durin gejs tenure dat he started d you win programme for d youths whereby youths ar been given money to start up a buz.. im frm anambra nd I bet u dat d fed roads in anambra ar good nd dey wer built during gejs tenure.. was it nt durin his tenure dat d youth corpers allowance wer increased. . U av to get up nd strive urself to make a livin.. deir is unemployment evn in uk.. d places u cnt find unemployment ar countries dat ar under populated.. nig has always been a very corrupt country evn b4 we wer born.. it runs in d blood evn u too.. d reason y pple talk to him anyhw its bcos hes nt a bloody president. . Im nt a fan tho bt sometyms try nd compare hom wiv d former president

DOBY DOBY said...

Y wil u see anything he has done.. wen al u do is watch movies or watch football.. who built lagos ore road.. sm pple ar jus funny. . Hw can u say he had done nothin.. my dear dnt pour ur frustration on d president

destinysweet said...

So if Buhari fail,who u go vote next?ur father I guess*sad* u can't writ without insulting especially ur elders

Auntylindagoddaughter

destinysweet said...

God Bless You.....imagine d young generation doing all manner of evil and they blame GEJ,even female students indulge in runs blames GEJ whn their clients go broke

destinysweet said...

Phcn tak light na Jonathan, network bad na Jonathan, u go work late na Jonathan, ur shoe spoil na Jonathan, ur fail exam na Jonathan!!!!!!May God preserve and protect GEJ

Anonymous said...

I have never commented on this blog before, but this article calls for a comment. This is the most useless piece of write up i have read in a long time. I must say it is an hilariously constructed piece of shit. The writer, just expressed that he is even more clueless than GEJ. All of the senseless piece written here is summarized as,"If the head is sick and can not think, then the leg or fingers should begin to think for the head". My answer - You don't have to write if you lack sense.

Unknown said...

Well .... There is a saying in Igbo land that says: There is something beating drum for that person you see dancing at the market.... I don't know if I said that right , but you guys are smart... so please figure it out.

Anonymous said...

How should corruption be erradicated ?

Anonymous said...

Yes You are a good example of the problem under discussion. Lazy arm chair critics shifting blames. Do your part in your small corner and stop taking the president for magician. We wait to see wat surprise your clueful behavior will pull as civilian president of 2015 Nigeria.

Mz steph said...

Preach it!!!!

Eze said...

Go suck ur mama down bellow....if u like hate GEJ to ur grave....we don't care.....u wrote this lengthy shit yet u are anonymous...why won't Ur life be messed up

Unknown said...

My dear, Rome wasn't built in one day. I think is unreasonable for you to call The president an idiot' . There is no need for that. Besides GEJ is not the architect of Nigerian problems. You should have used your name as a proud Nigerian that u are and not anonymous

Unknown said...

Mr Bonario little or nothing is said about the good he has done and in fact, some state governor make people believe they are responsible for the Federal Government projects in their states when it's not true.

He has to do more, but we Nigeria should also take responsibility for certain things like Etcetera pointed out.

Anonymous said...

Shut the Fuck up, ugly moron, is goodluck the first president? Please what has been better under his watch, social amenities? Education? Infrastructure? Standard of living/health? Employment? Security?

Anonymous said...

well I have been reading this blog for more than 2 years now and I haven't for once made a comment on here, actually I don't know you but as much as I try to distance myself from politics and policians, you just said the truth here..

Logbo.

Anonymous said...

Shikena!

Anonymous said...

you've said the TRUTH

Anonymous said...

and he has to go.

Anonymous said...

Surprisingly everyone supporting this article are from either the south south or South East. I pray God will open ur Tribalistic Bigot eyes to see the pending danger of Jonathan's reelection for urself and ur generations. Useless Igbo and South south people!!!

Anonymous said...

Of course na wash..but in the Nigeria that we live in today where anyone can make up stuff without proof or accountability, anything goes....when Buhari used to jail journalists who wrote news/stories without proper evidence/backing, they said he was too harsh.

Anonymous said...

Thank You...

Anonymous said...

Etcetera should understand one thing. Human being generally irrespective of class or status need someone to hold them responsible for any misdeeds. Therefore, it is the president' s job to hold the governors, the ministers and the rest of us accountable. That is, Jonathan still carry the blame for anything that goes wrong in the country.

Anonymous said...

for your information GEJ has bn in power as the president for 4yrs so get your facts right.

obiora said...

You have baseless points Mr Bona.

Anonymous said...

Et cetera - Hear is the deal. Everything does not rest on the president. I work in the US bureaucracy. Even with the checks and balances in place, you need reliable people at all levels to succeed. The structure is the pyramid structure with the president at the pinnacle. If one block is rotten or weakened, the pyramid becomes compromised. In Nigeria, if the good blocks were white colored and the rot green colored, our pyramid will be a huge fungal looking mass. Yes, that is the extent of corruption. So the one brick at the top may be white (and I am not exonerating GEJ), but he has slimy blocks interwoven into every fucking piece of the structure, it will take God to create stability in the pyramids. The state is one heavy level, then there are the local governments. Then the communities the family unit and the individual as another layer. Even in families, the smallest microsystem, there is no loyalty to one another. Parents don't even feel fucking responsible for their kids - what the hell? So there is a problem. Having a president makes it easy to point to one person we can layer blame on but is that the best outcome possible because we are only addressing one block in the pyramid, and the smallest brick at that. Now if we had a military dictatorship, it would be a different structure and has proven to be more productive relatively speaking in the past but I no go there......

Unknown said...

Hahahahaaa! The last paragraph is the comedy! Lol...

Anonymous said...

did anyone force to read? read as much as you can and let peace after all no be everybody dey read enter exam hall...cut and nail

Anonymous said...

Well said. I concur

Anonymous said...

Lol funny guy...so jonathan is now responsible for the decrease n oil price world wide yh??? Lmao...jst what etcetera was tlkn abt...as for d removal of subsidy,hv u heard it sure-p??? Well jst gt ur facts right whoeva u re,we re all tired of jonathan,buh dt doesnt mean the next available option s d best

Anonymous said...

Hey I am igbo n Ion play politics and asmf I am not a GeJ fan neither GMB fan. so if u are yoruba or hausa or other tribe plss fuck u, and I mean u idotic tribalistic animal like u

Unknown said...

Hmmm.. feel 4 Jona??? As in emotional feelings?

Unknown said...

Feel keh, pls Next story

Unknown said...

U just said rrubbish... And u don't think well... Ur personal hate is affecting ur sense of reasonin.. Total gibberish! Other presidents, what did they do? Governors were still corrupt.. So u have no point

Unknown said...

The head that wears the crown, it's not easy ooo

omee said...

I said you are a dreamer. Buhari will eliminate corruption with Tinubu and cohorts teaching him. Please look at facts well. This country under democracy of the past 14yrs has improved. Three quarters of the citizens own mobile phones and recharge. Every country wants to export to yours. And we do is condemn Nigeria. Etcetera reminded us that the problem is us. Simple

Unknown said...

Gbam....Thank you very much for this sensible comment. If only people could think like you. GEJ doesn't deserve anymore chance.

abass said...

I love this

Anonymous said...

linda your father daugher there y u go put wizkid album

Subomi said...

very hard to take Etcetera serious, and sometimes it takes me time to forgive myself for wasting my time to read his stuff. For GEJ, I dont see how he can expect us to listen to him if he has joined the list of people that claim fixing electricity problem is unattainable

Nkechi J. said...

I honestly don't believe GEJ is the source of any particular problem in Nigeria, but he has fine virtually nothing to fix anything. Am pretty sure he's a nice guy and all, but every nice guy is not a leader; I am Igbo but we need to realize that three only way this country will move forward is when priorities are set properly. General Buhari has a known track record, Jonathan on the other hand can't seem to differentiate his mouth from his nose.

Unknown said...

Etcetera go take ur pills

Anonymous said...

I actually enjoyed his write up. The 2 shitting Rastas had me rolling and the dig on wiz kid's album. Hilarious

Anonymous said...

Why?
Is it because he is saying the truthπŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

Anonymous said...

God bless you...

Anonymous said...

Ur stupidity is beyond u, what church were u attending church of Satan abi.... DT u would believe dat d sin of oda men should be carried by one man..... And about following URL tithing and prayer pattern dey were obviously not in d dpirit .... Otondo

Anonymous said...

eya its sad because alot of people on this forum just like etcetera as well as Goodluck Jonathan are ignorant of whats obtainable within the territory of leadership.I actually blame Obasanjo for the wrong choice he made.Now the frankenstein monster he created is out hunting him.He actually meant no harm by entrusting him with power,but i guess the power was just too lofty for someone of such...

inept leaders who know nothing about leadership and who have leadership entrusted to them like obj did to jonathan are those who do not know the old adage which is explicit ,that uneasy is the head that wears tha crown.
whether its taking a dump in the palm beach or petty stealing ,killing , ministerial thieving and corruption ,the man on top must accept the blame and elliminate those checked items one by one and stop whining.
Leaders know what comes with territory (not speaking of leaders oblivious of the territory that they were placed in ,like obj placed the inept jonathan)
instead of holding unto obj until he learns how to toddle ,he dismissed obj and now he is surrounded by shallow minded officials who are taking advantage of his ignorance and ruining the resources of the country at the detriment of the nation and his reputation.

The sad part is that he owns up to the fact that he receives multiple advices that confuse him and goes about whining to countries about how bad tha country and everybody in it was before he was entrusted with the lofty position.Such countries seeing how ignorant/inept he is, use everything he spills against him and even venture some more into ridiculing him.Check washington post online and you will cry for our country.
the writer of this article may know how to write well,just as reuben abati but are to emotional and lack the depth to understand the lofty position and its consequences.Just as jonathan is equally clueless and makes its clear each time he cries out that he inherited the problems.Hahaha.



Anonymous said...

Nice talk Etcetera, but perceived some exegeration were added. Anyway, if the head is not firm and ok the remaining part of the body will not function well. Nigeria of today needs a president that is up to the task. Apparently the way in which the current government is running the administration of Nigeria will lead us to nothing but total collapse. It's evident we need a change. Of course the change can come from anyone, maybe gej led government or someone else. Let them engage in debates and tell us their individual strategies and plan to be used to tackle Nigeria copious problems.

Anonymous said...

GEJ has been the most productive president we'v ever gotten. In spite the distractions he's still doing his best for the country.

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