Dear LIB readers: why do some women find it hard to contribute in the home? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday 2 August 2014

Dear LIB readers: why do some women find it hard to contribute in the home?

From a male LIB reader
I have been married for a year and a half and my marriage is not what I thought it would be. My wife does not like to contribute financially in the home. Given that I make more money than she does, but it's not a crime to help out with little things. Sometimes I come home to no food or food without meet or fish and when I ask her she says I didn't drop any money before leaving. Sometimes I come home from work very tired and there's no light. When I ask her what happened to the generator, she tells me there's no fuel. So she can't buy fuel? I have to do everything? She says her money is hers alone and to help her family but she keeps forgetting that I and our daughter should be her priority.
What can I do to make her change her ways? I'm not asking her to do much, just little things like buy the chicken or fish for stew and soup, and fuel sometimes when I'm not home. And maybe soap, toothpaste, pure-water, salt, maggi, and onions?

342 comments:

1 – 200 of 342   Newer›   Newest»
Ceeflo said...

Before you got married wasn't there courtship? You must have seen the signs.. Some women are so laid back when it comes to assisting their spouses..its very wrong .. Even when they have money they hide it .. Leaving everything to the man !

Anonymous said...

A lot of Nigerian women are like that. Selfish to the bone!

Bonita Bislam said...

She's doing it coz the last time a woman tried to provide for the man and even feed him,we all got kicked outta the garden of Eden!

Anonymous said...

Because once de start contributing,. Then u guys will make it her core duty to always do dt,. Well,. Contributing a quota is okay,. But pls,. Don't make it her core duty!..#teamchris

Bishop Dammy said...

No it shouldn't be so! @ the creation of man, God created the woman to be a help mate for the man! Support in all ways ladies, the family would be more stable when both parties are supportive. Let us all try and read Ecc 4:9-12. BishopDammy#

Anonymous said...

i love my boo i swear ibo girl. I think you guys must be stingy.

she made me one full pot of delicious egusi.

she is a gem.

pls treat your wife with love and give her good gifts including love.

if she is a decent girl from a decent home she will always pull her weight anytime anyday.

Anonymous said...

As a woman,its annoying t see or hear that things lik ds still exists in ds century. Its obvious ur wife is extremely rigid n goes t show her well she "spends" on her so called family. My mum is also like ds hence d total disgust to its effect. Talk to her may b she wld change. I try to talk t my mum n sometimes it becomes a big quarrel btw is. I wonder y we hv t wait for dad for everythn even tho we re on 90k monthly feedin allowance n dad still stocks d store. Now m pissed sef

Anonymous said...

There is no big deal in contributing. It's only a selfish woman that will hold back.

Cute G said...

Loooooolz....She's self centered and stingy.

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Bros thank yu for this tip yu just gave to me single dude and believe me i will no longer marry any gal with large family members and i just dont knw hw to answer this question bcos my mum spend on us even when my dad was still alive, so sorry... Na it person carry a whole three dey marry, i dey hail yu OJB....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

ade said...

because thats not what u wanted when u married her. U people always looking for 'wife material' and bent on been 'husband' instead of finding life partners. Someone who spends with u and someone u cook with but no. She must cook and clean is the list u had before marriage. Now, uve been eating for a yr, ure realizing partnership is likely more sustainable.

nella said...

LMAO! I believe there should be a kind of understanding before marriage. A couple should have conversations on what living together would be like before they tie the knot. A lot of people, especially girls don't have any idea how to be married. They are only about the wedding and the title.

Breanna Blogs Life said...

Lol she's not giving any "meet" coz you can't spell Meat lol. Jokes aside.. Your wife should be helping! It's not a crime for her to use her money to buy household items as a woman. She's been to be your helper.. Not your burden. So talk to her and wrote down some things you'd like her to take responsibility for, hopefully she will listen. Good luck

Anonymous said...

She need counselling! Looooool...

Unknown said...

VERY SERIOUS...... SOME WOMEN JUST CREATE PROBLEMS FOR THEMSELVES.....

HOW CAN U EARN MONEY ND U WONT CONTRIBUTE TO UR HOME.... EVEN MAGGI NA OGA GO BUY AM?????ITS WRONG.....

MAYBE SHE NEEDS COUNSELLING....TRY DAT
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Moye B

Cynhams Cakes, Abuja. said...

Most ladies are like that. They don't spend kobo in their homes which is very wrong because women are help mates to their men. You need to consider bringing in an elder or your pastor to counsel the both of you.

Angie said...

That's not right and it's unfair!.. She should contribute; you have to have an agreement on who to pay for what and what on a weekly/monthly basis.
However, only you, know your wife and why she's acting that way.


*My R1.50c comment*

Anonymous said...

Where is she from? No offence intended but It's likely she's from the East, because the mentality is that the man takes care of everything.

Anonymous said...

Lmao at soap nd toothpaste. Id like 2 believe shes a young girl . I do sum of dis tins nd get a refund later . Girls can like 2 bhav sumhow nd make issues outa nufin

Unknown said...

Some women are just wicked,some just lazy,many supid...irebisibrown@yahoo.com.sg

Anonymous said...

I am a wife and even though my husband earns more than me we both contribute to running the house. I think you should sit her down for an initial talk and probably divide the spending such that she ia responsible for a few things.

Anonymous said...

I am a wife and mother and i have been married for 10 years. You are not asking for too much. A wife should be able to contribute financially to the household...however small. This is the 21st century

Unknown said...

Some women re nt wife,and some wives re nt mothers.I think the best thing you ve to do to avoid problems and being in loggerheads with her is to do the best yu kw aw to do.if its to bring money for food,bring enough,overlook if she brings or not.just know that you re doing what is ryt and just.as for your wife,she is not a mother and I wish she deserve to been avoided if yu cn,avoid her food ,she will rethink

Unknown said...

Hmmm, not every woman can be like my Mum. May God continue to bless you Mama Leye. Mother like Father.
⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥ 

mzjenjulius said...

That's bad

Anonymous said...

GET A DIVORCE!! SHE'S CLEARLY LIVING IN THE ROCK AGES!!!

Anonymous said...

Stop giving her moni outright for a week and see if she wil nt use her moni to cook. D way som women worship moni is realy ridiculous. If she cnt share her moni wit u, obviously u need to deprive her of certain benefits too. We hvnt seen enuff divorce cases in dis generation. Its just startin!

Anonymous said...

Try reset her with beta slap very early in the morning. Mumu if we have to tell u to define de deep and comprehensive meaning of union and partnership with her den u need help.

Olori Jojo said...

I think d question should be how often do u give her money for her personal upkeep?bcos some men believe after money for food stuff that is d end,which should nt be.Or u don't support her fianancily bt a good wife should help out moneytary

Unknown said...

I dont think its general. Its peculiar 2 ur wife.some pple are stingy while some r generous...whether man or woman.
A wife is meant 2 be a helper. A lot of men want to do everything 4 d family and allow d woman keep her money.
But if its our home and am not contributing, then its jst his home not mine as well.
There's a difference btw being a woman and being a wife. Ur wife is only d former not d latter.
U cn pray she changes and encourage her 2 also contribute no matter how little.

Anonymous said...

A big shame!!!
There's ntn you can do to change her, this is her true nature.
I can't type long notes for you..
Sorry!

Julz Cakes said...

This one na question for another day...buh sorry mahn

Anonymous said...

I wish my own husband will stop stressing me to contribute. The bills are currently split 55:45 and yet he wants me to do more meanwhile he does not do even 20% of the household chores.

I tire and he is not even caring. It's just because i believe a woman should do her part financially otherwise i will not even bother.

Anonymous said...

Dont blame her you men are selfish and spend on other women

Zamani said...

U re right man. Women shuld learn frm dis. Talk sense into ur woman.

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha l like her she know her right, because some men like spending the money for girlfriend and telling their wife there is no money. lf you want food, e.t.c then drop something down

Will said...

It's the mind set she was brought up with. Some women believe that in a family, than man should pay for everything even when they have money. A great mistake usually rectified the HARD WAY!

Kayode said...

That's d orientation of most (not all) naija women they believe that d man shld provide everything.Only God will save naija men

liberty said...

Haba thats too bad of her. I don't work but my hubby never lacks a thing in the house. So imagine if I was working what I will do? Na wa for some women o. Relate the matter to her folks and just make the provision for peace sake. It is well with you

Tracyomodon said...

if u want her to contribute financially be ready to contribute domestically

Anonymous said...

That's the mistake some women make. There is nothing wrong in contributing as long ur husband gives u when he has. A good man will appreciate u more seeing ur giving nature and caring heart.

Dauda Aliu said...

Dude, always give your wife money and stop excepting her to do things herself. You don't wait till all these things finishes before replacing or expecting her to replace them. It's simply your responsibility as a husband. If she did or didn't contribute financially to the home, you need not hate her for that or something. You are even lucky she does the cooking for you.
When I saw this heading before opening to the body, I actually expected to see things like; she's lazy, she doesn't clean the house, she's too week for s*x etc. Even if all these 'last mentions' were her problem, things really would have still get better without your nags. You know what I mean?

PS. When you do your things right, she will start...
Cheers.

Unknown said...

I don't know why some women are very heartless,try to make her understand your feelings&if she doesn't change,get use to her stingy sense of reasoning,may be one day she will change.


################GOD punish################devil

Chaz said...

Ha ha ha! Thats what happens when you dont know the knind of woman/ man you are marrying. I'm not saying you should of known this thing but did she have a petty nature before marrying? Woman we must do better this is foolishness, for you alone and your family? That is selfish. He needs to know you can make an effort without him there, so if he is sick and needs taken care of, you wont do unless he drops some money? Haba! There is a limit, and if you let her continue like this i think this is dangerous behaviour. I am a woman by the way. But at the end maybe there is an underlying reason i know we can hold a grudge for way longer than need be, so talk to her and if she wont change then i'm afraid this is the woman you have married.

Anonymous said...

OMG WTH? She doesnt contribute to little things like that? I am currently a fulltime student and my husband gives me pocket money but i use it to buy things we need for the house without even asking him....unless its things that the money wont be enough for. When i start working next year, i also plan on helping my man for sure! Sorry but she is very selfish, and putting her father's family before her new family speaks volumes. Sit her down and talk to her about priorities ans what she's expected to contribute.

Anonymous said...

wooow, such a wife. I pray I don't ever get to act like dat 2wards my husband.

Unknown said...

Maybe you should start asisting her with her family needs too.

Anonymous said...

Na wa for dis ur wife,she no de shame at all at all.maggi ,onions,pepper,haba iyawooooooooooo abeg change

Anonymous said...

i thnk its the orientation from home..many of us go to our husbands' house wt wat we'v bn tut at home. But i blieve if theres luv,then it sld be atleast 70/30,wtout the husband rqsting!....08036366222

Anonymous said...

Lazy man. Very soon u will start asking her to pay the fees, pay for the rent, etc. Na small small e dey start. See the long list the man even don dey write abeg.

Mo' J said...

Holding up the home financially should be the responsibility of both man and wife.
www.moniqj.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

some women contribute more problems to solution in d home.
they 4get that a woman is a helpmate.

Unknown said...

That's bad.

Anonymous said...

Linda don't mind who ever dat sent dis †̥☺̣̣̥̇ u.! Immediately a woman ..ɪ̣̝̇s̶̲̥̅̊ married she cater F̶̲̥̅☺̴̩̩̥̩̩̩r all dis tins.(he just listed) try and ask ur self y ..ɪ̣̝̇s̶̲̥̅̊ very difficult †̥☺̣̣̥̇ buy her undies and clothes after she ..ɪ̣̝̇s̶̲̥̅̊ married? Men will ignore all dose tins F̶̲̥̅☺̴̩̩̥̩̩̩r women †̥☺̣̣̥̇ do it not withstanding â„“̊f she ..ɪ̣̝̇s̶̲̥̅̊ earning or not.and believe ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ a wise woman will make sure dat her home ..ɪ̣̝̇s̶̲̥̅̊ intact and will forgone her needs just F̶̲̥̅☺̴̩̩̥̩̩̩r peace †̥☺̣̣̥̇ reign. Men are always selfish wen it comes †̥☺̣̣̥̇ tins like dis.

Anonymous said...

Sally p said my dear Man marriage is 4 better 4 worse...learn to tolorate and make corrections with love......

Anonymous said...

Send her packing..Thats bullshit..I hate nigerian women,they are not supportive,thats why i married an american..
The fact that you make money more than her does not mean she shouldn't buy those little things(that so mean)God forbid bad things..if anything happen to your enemy,how will she cope with the kids...Bullshit
AYO

Anonymous said...

Women in Nigeria just assume men are the bread winners. Ur wife is a self centered piece of crap and no man should be blessed with such a greedy irresponsible woman for a wife. I think u should just lay the complaint to her and if she doesn't listen, then call her family member's she seems to be sacrificing for to order. @Moi Moi

Anonymous said...

I PAY D SCHOOL FEES,HOUSERENT,NEPA BILL,TRAVEL EXPENSES BUT MY WIFE TAKE CARE OF D FOOD BUT I SURPORT SOMETIMES..

Anonymous said...

I PAY D SCHOOL FEES,HOUSERENT,NEPA BILL,TRAVEL EXPENSES BUT MY WIFE TAKE CARE OF D FOOD BUT I SURPORT SOMETIMES..

Anonymous said...

d bible says a woman is a helper even financially atleast a reasonable shld help sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Its not too much if u ask me. Some of us do everytin including jouse rent and kids schl fees and still get beaten up. Just tell her in love and also be patient with her. Always let her know ur mind concerning every issue, with time things will smoothen out.

Anonymous said...

if a woman truly loves a man,she doesnt punish d man,she supports no matter how small

Anonymous said...

I think u should draw a family budget and try to let her understand that u two need to pull resources for the future of the family and let her know ur exact income.may be she thinks u waste ur income that maybe why she doesn't cotribute so be truthfu to her.and contribute more so she doesn't think u are cheating her finacially

Anonymous said...

Carry your cross abeg to be a man ain't easy.I'm sure you married her cos she had a job, just a year and a half you're already complaining. what if she lost her job nko.it cld be she knws tht helping out will make you neglect your responsibilties..

Anonymous said...

Dear author,
I totally understand your plight cuz I have lived it. I am a woman and growing up, I saw this too often. I felt very sorry for my dad. He did everything. And mind u, my mom didn't make small money. She is a judge, making good money. But she will hardly drop a dime for us or our dad without complaining till thy kingdom come. It is a very sad situation.

Mo' J said...

Holding up the home financially should be the responsibility of both man and wife.
www.moniqj.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

That woman is a big fool, I won't waste my english on this.

Anonymous said...

I don't blame her....probably experience taught her a lesson....I dated a broke guy for 3yrs,immediately he hit it big he broke up with me....I can't even call a guy with my money!

Anonymous said...

Lol, I know her tricks. In her voice* u won't see coins drop for dos side chicks with straight face* madam pls calm down ooo no finish dis young man with bukata ooo.

Anonymous said...

Damn! I mean you men need to make up your damn minds! One blog it's let her stay and be a housewife because I AM the man, one it's she must work and also be be responsible for the house and I'm not lifting a finger in that house because the kitchen is meant for the woman blah blah blah. This one she must contribute small blah blah blah. The problem is people are not honest with themselves. It's not a one size fits all, especially in the era of the 21st century woman who is co-breadwinner or in some cases primary or sole breadwinner. These things need to be made clear and discussed even before you get engaged! Everyone was raised differently - one from a family where her mum just sat back and collected money, another where the mum was an equal contributor, etc. Marriage goes beyond the initial Euphoria of love. There is the practical and realistic side where the 2 of you have to sit down and make things clear and manage your expectations as such! How was she before you married her? I'm sure you would have noticed those tendencies before. Well, keep trying to coax her into seeing how important she is to supporting you and the family. Goodluck buddy! P.S; hope you also help around the house...lastly, the image above is hilarious!

MeenatNigeria said...

Travel with ur daughter and leave her at home for a month..... I hate such crazy women..... No reasonable woman wouldn't want to contribute financially in her home when she has the means to........ I AM MISS LIBER*MISS MEENAT

Anonymous said...

Guess you need to talk to her..

Unknown said...

Although man is d head in d house bt it was in d olden days dat man does everything financially in d home.due 2 d economy situation in d country now both of us av 2 assist each oda if at all nt all women av 2 assist in dre own little ways.

smk said...

well i dnt hv any advice 4 u bt i hv 4 doz who are not married..this are d kind of tin u need 2 check out 4 b4 gettin married....

Anonymous said...

Sad to say but we don't have wive's/mothers these days. We have women that live with men... Truth is, such a woman does not care about you or the relationship. Only her and her family. Most women are so these days. The feminist thing hasn't made it any easier too.
I experience such and what Ive learnt is this... Do my own thing and plan for myself alone. Didn't even use her as a next of kin cos I don't even trust what she could do.
Wish you the best bro but...Remove emotions and think. She does not care

Unknown said...

Some women see marriage as their opportunity to a better life. They feel like once they are married, money will start coming. In fact, that is the reason why most parents give out their daughters in marriage.
Your wife feels like its your job to provide everything for the family. You have to make her understand that even though you are the man of the house you need a strong support system.

Anonymous said...

Ha!na wah for ur "waif" o.if dose are d small things u mentioned ,den she should be able to provide dem.since u take care of d majority of d expenses.Anyways,cAll her n sit her down so u guys have a good talk.tell her wot u expect of her and explain stuff d way u just explianed to us just now.
Pele.Jisike

Unknown said...

Baba u mistake carry that one keep for house, most men make this mistake any girl while dating that can not spend 5naira for u when Marry cannot help. Her is for her family? Who is her family? What a wicked mother she keep her daughter in d dark

Anonymous said...

I was walking home and when I approached home, in the bush of flowers I heard a boy and a
girl talking.
BOY: has it enter?
GIRL: no it hasn't
BOY: let me try again,
GIRL: serious no it hasn't, be a little serious!
BOY: Ok let me try one more time.
GIRL: wooow, Yes it's entering... Yes! It has entered... But how
come it's too short....
Oh boy I got curious, and tried to peep to see what was going on; only to find them holding phones. Apparently, they were sharing songs from their phones through bluetooth!
Mcheeeeew!
LIB READERS HAPPY NEW MONTH JOOR!



XDON D DON

Anonymous said...

Try to talk to her that's women for you #bright bravo#

Blackberry said...

Men differ, my own is, if I spend my money on anything in d house, my husband always refund it, he said I shud use my money n pimp myself n allow him man his household ship, he drops money evry week for miscellaneous things n life is smooth. Quit being stingy oga, maybe u married ur wife cos she had lil money.

Unknown said...

Awww! Ur wife is damn mean. Its not bad 4 a wife to contribute@ all.pray to God let her change her ways

Anonymous said...

The same way some men find it impssible 2 be good loving non-cheating husbands :D *Kiddin*. 0kay but seriously sha Ask urself the following questions Do u cntribute 2 the cooking the cleaning, the washing, the kids. If Yes then u are 1 of those men who deserves financial supprt. That's hw marriage should be,, Balanced. U contribute 2 everything financially n otherwise n she does the same. Nt after all that housewrk u dnt even help her with u then still expect financial help. Don't be selfish swtie ----C21

Chyachebe said...

Poster are u really serious with this nonsense complain? If ur wife's income is to help out her family, it means she has taken care of that for u as well. U as the man should be able to drop money for feeding and buy fuel as well. I think u are the one that have a problem here. If u had said ur wife ask u for money to take care of herself, then we can say she is selfish. Marriage is for men and not boys, I know men feel good providing for the family, u have not said u earn less, so u want her to take care of small things, herself and her family from the meagre salary she earns. Poster there is God oooooooo

Anonymous said...

I feel you my brother! Na so dem be. Afterall dem go say na the man be the provider! So sad o!

goddess said...

Why would you be dropping money everytime, are you stingyy? You should have a standing order with your bank paying a certain amount every month end to her. Mtcheeeeeeeeew you are still doing owo ounje , ego nrin .abeg be a man and let me see road, pu o nuzo ka nne yaria anya biko, aradite, aka gum.

Anonymous said...

...I'm not asking her to do much, just little things like buy the chicken or fish for stew and soup, and fuel sometimes when I'm not home. And maybe soap, toothpaste, pure-water, salt, maggi, and onions. Frm doing dis things you'll now expect her to start payin school fees n rents,nne m jidesie ego gi ike.
U claim ur d man,be d man!

Anonymous said...

The picture is very funny.
Talk to her abt it, dats d only way. Anything else wld strt quarrel or bck fire on u. Some women r so stingy,greedy, irresponsible, sluggish,dull, self absorbed ....if possible they may take money for pads from their hubbies even though dey r working!

Anonymous said...

Is she your priority too. Why can't you cook sometimes. Do you take out the trash or fetch water sometimes. Abeg do your job and stop complaining if you're not helping her either Linda abeg that picture funny die

Anonymous said...

Women. (Linda's Man)

Anonymous said...

i feel for you,even tho am a woman.well mayb u can begin by havin a heart felt talk wit her and make her undastand dat it takes two to mak marriage wrk and to b financialy strong.if she doesn"t change then mayb u can talk to does close to her for dem to talk to her.u neva can tell if she is copy dat from her family or friends so talk to both.bt talk to her 1st as her husband she shod undastand u more and better.gudluck

Anonymous said...

Eya. That's very selfish of her. She's punishing you, unless you both ate meatless rice.

But why not 'drop' all the money she needs, since you make more than her? Do your part well.

Kimmy*****

Anonymous said...

Bros just after 1 year of marriage, naija women always depending on the men. Btw your wife na akagum aka super glue .aka. Aradite. Women should understand this is more than just husband and wife thing. You only rip where you sow. If the pikin grow up and dislikes are mum them go say na the step mother or mother inlaw they do am. I hate selfish and un reasonable people.

Anonymous said...

We are supposed to help not drain each other out..

Chinasa Ukaegbu said...

My dear you're still single.

Anonymous said...

I cn visualised is d woman dats d bread winner here. D man nver made mentn of bringn any money in d house. LIB Princess! Pretex4luv@yahoo.com

Michael said...

But isn't that a problem with most Nigerian women? They walk around looking for a life raft that would take care of all their financial burdens. There is a general feeling of entitlement among Nigerian women. The belief is if you want a girl, you have to pay. They compare their boyfriends/spouses/husbands to that of male entertainers who are well heeled. Why do you think many marriages are failing? How can any body live in a home with their spouse and not contribute anything? This is 2014 and women work and have good paying jobs.

I once dated a girl like that. She claimed to be a feminist but left me with all the bills. I purchased all her plane tickets to come and visit me. And the month I couldn't pay, she rained abuses on me and said I was failing in the courtship department. There were so many other instances, which I can’t get into here. The entire relationship was one big dependency.

She even thought we should get married, which was laughable. After thinking of all the stress I was having holding on to her, I told her I didn't think it was a good idea. I couldn't fathom spending my life with a woman who expected me to pay for everything.

I blame it on poor upbringing by her folks. Also, the writer should have sorted out this issue while they were still dating. Perhaps, she wasn't the right person for him.

And for the millions of single women out there looking for husbands or wondering why they can’t find one or hold down the one they have, it is your attitude that is the problem. If you share the responsibilities in your relationships, you will see how quickly you get snapped off the market.

Unknown said...

Don't drop a kobo for the next 3months. Just buy food for your daughter only. Tell her she(your daughter) is your family and u only spend on her. Dat is the immature way to go

Nwando Anyansi said...

I would advise you to have a heart to heart talk with her. Teach her her responsibilities in love.....dn't quarrel or make her feel guilty. Go about it in a peaceful manner. Then finally, talk to God about it. He listens, remember. Wish you best of luck in your Marriage. It is well!

NaNcY DreW said...

Dis is wat u shud av known or found out abt her b4 marriage u probably spoiled her 2 much wen u were courting. And now she's use 2 it not all women re d same. Mayb she neva see money b4 & u brought her out of stack poverty, she's wicked, or stingy or just doesn't luv u buh married u 4 money or desperation or pure wickedness maybe is alweis endless. U just nid 2 talk 2 her abt it.

NaNcY DreW said...

Dis is wat u shud av known or found out abt her b4 marriage u probably spoiled her 2 much wen u were courting. And now she's use 2 it not all women re d same. Mayb she neva see money b4 & u brought her out of stack poverty, she's wicked, or stingy or just doesn't luv u buh married u 4 money or desperation or pure wickedness maybe is alweis endless. U just nid 2 talk 2 her abt it. By d way dis picz is hilarious

ary said...

Stop buying her stuff, let her use 'her money' to buy herself nice things! Then to spite her get the food stuff, the little thing she refuses to get. This is a classic 'Nigerian housewife' mentality! The idea that a man is a breadwinner and hence all the burden of the family falls on his shoulder; no matter what he is dealing with! Believe that sort of woman will leave your a** when you go broke! The world needs for independent women, not this flakes who think men are made to breaks their for them!

Unknown said...

Cos of d part of d world we are at since d dark ages it is belived that b4 u get married u will b able to provide for ur family and with that it is widely belive that a man is supposed to man up d responsibilities, is diff in western world duh wia dins r splited

Unknown said...

The earlier you divorce her now the better for you. My broda you are living with a wicked self centered ingrate. Na better one chance you enter so ohhhhh

Anonymous said...

Bring your Uncle s to have a meeting with her,that you are taking a second Wife,since she is not taking good care and willing to contribute to domestic issues,Allah She will change fast.It worked for me oooo,i pray make my wife no see this post 00000.heheheheheheheh.

#king said...

Lmaoo..linda d pic is funny..abeg ur wife is selfish n stingy..complain to her people..cant stand such.................................#KingOfKings

Anonymous said...

Do u help her with house chores? Initially, men were to bring all d finances for d home while women were to stay home n takia of d children, but now women decide to work @ their own expense, so they ve a right to decide wt to do with their money. If u need her help in finances, then u should also help in d house chores, otherwise it will be a cheat on d woman.

Anonymous said...

Dea poster you must be doing sthing wrong. Most women if they are working contribute to home finances. My guess is you do not assist with domestic work in the house becos u believe its only for your wife therefore in order to get back at u she leaves the finance aspect for u cos after all its a man's job. Another reason might be may be u re not open with ur salary spendings. Believe me once a woman knows u re spending ur salary reasonably and not on some side chick, she will most def want to contribute her own quota. I am talking from experience. My hubby is very open abt
his salary spendings and assists with domestic work this makes me glad and in return I am always glad to drop money for even things like the kids school fees cos I know how he has spent his salary ( land, building project.....).



Unknown said...

Lol....most Nigerian women are not like this....this particular wife is selfish...I think you should talk about it with her and make her see your angle....although from the way she sounds the conversation won't be easy

Tomiwa said...

Are you sure you're not the Stingy type bcos most woman like to revenge which is wrong.keep talking to her she will change 4 good or betterstill report her to her parents. Too bad of her sha

Anonymous said...

AhahahahahA! Take heart my brother!! Am a woman & even though i tell my husband dat my moni is mine alone i still spend it on d little things at home(cant afford to give my husband food without meat abeg, dats abormination!)

horluwatosyne said...

Men can be funny @tym,am sure ur wife av a different story to tell at dis same issue....

Anonymous said...

pray d lord wil bless u nd make u undastnd its ur duty alone 2 provide 4 ur family. Hers is optional if she wishes. Nd oga abeg shame dey catch me 4u, its not gud 2 tel ur wife 2 help u buy fuel,chicken etc hw can u leave ur home witot dropin enof money 4 ur family upkeep nawao

Esty kudos said...

Be a man n take up ur responsibilities n in no time she'll change. Good luck

Anonymous said...

Some women are the reason their husband beat them but some people won't understand. I see to everything in my house happily knowing that my wife doesn't work or do business of which i very well that if does she will be helping in some things at home. And i love my wife. Even if she starts up something tomorrow as long as God almighty keep providing for me i will not even look at her money.

Maha Emmanuel said...

So Hilarious!!! She's an Igbo woman i guess..

Unknown said...

Why not earmark a certain amount aside for her as housekeeping money and subtly tell her that she can add more to it if she feels d amount isn't enough. I am a lady and I don't believe in d idea of husband doing everything in the house unless I suspect infidelity or irresponsibility on the man's part

Anonymous said...

waka far from those kind of spouses!!!

Anonymous said...

Oga do your work as man

Peggy.ejiga.blogspot.com.ng said...

LOL! The picture of that fish is hilarious. But seriously its no crime to help out its both your home. come on.

Anonymous said...

Mr poster, you itigo aka na tipper bu aja. You are in for a long thing. Ndo. Noffin can change her, unless she changes herself by herself and for herself.

VIP said...

hey! u male lib writer b4 u went into marriage didn't u know u r to cater for ur family every need ? That's y u r called husband and father . ur marriage is no longer what u think cos u thought when u marry ur wife u will b in charge of her and her money . Stand up to ur responsibility and stop complaining.

Anonymous said...

Lol! see this man crying.hahahahaha! Funny! Oga! find out what made her take that decision. Men are terrible,once you start,you will never stop.they have a way of milking the shit out of you.You will be contributing ,planning for your home,he would be there buying cloths n shoes for himself,the little change that is remaining,he will use it and hang out with his friends.Meanwhile while you fuel the generator and provide fish and meat,he will never say thank u. Oga be responsible and don't depend on your wife to contribute. If you do the right thing she would.

Anonymous said...

Your wife must be from Anambra

Anonymous said...

Lol! see this man crying.hahahahaha! Funny! Oga! find out what made her take that decision. Men are terrible,once you start,you will never stop.they have a way of milking the shit out of you.You will be contributing ,planning for your home,he would be there buying cloths n shoes for himself,the little change that is remaining,he will use it and hang out with his friends.Meanwhile while you fuel the generator and provide fish and meat,he will never say thank u. Oga be responsible and don't depend on your wife to contribute. If you do the right thing she would.

Anonymous said...

She is not serious one bit. I contribute well at home. I have even paid house rent sef and told oga to focus on what he is doing. He refunded me later. I can't sit back and just rely on him to do everything. Right now he trust me with his finances. I'm a signatory to all his acct. Even his personal acc na hold the ATM. Women be wise o

Anonymous said...

That woman is definitely wicked and myopic in her reasoning. Am sure she's from a struggling background or not quite learned. However chief go on with what you have to do, it would catch up with her one day. And learn it's meat not meet.

Anonymous said...

ur wife is a greedy woman.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY

ikubor4luv said...

Oga. U need to sit ur wife down n hv a one-on-one discussion with her. First,ask God to give u wisdom n knowledge Inorder to deal with the issue.may the prince of peace reign ova ur marriage. pls no 3rd party involvement!
Lovette4luv@yahoo.com

pearl gold said...

Did she propose marriage to u her contribution should be in helping u takia of her self wic z ur no 1 duty no be only fuel n chicken nxt it will b school fees give her money monthy mayb 1 quarter of ur salary for the upkeep of the house if she z loves u she can't come back n tell u it was nt enough she will see ur effort n den help buy tins in bulk if not one day u will cum back dia will b no food n d reason will b matches or did u nt date her? Plan ur marriage if u dnt av tell her some women love to b reminded or begged talk to her dats my own pic

Amarachukwu. said...

Na wa for her ooooo.she go tire one day.

Anonymous said...

I like the wife. There is nothing wrong with what she is doing. In this same Nigeria the mean will send the woman packing out of the house whenever he is tired of her, so why should she invest money into the home when she has no right in it. Be a man. Take care of your family. If you want food, give your wife the money to buy the food.

Anonymous said...

Lolzzzz!!! Oga since God has already bless u dnt wait for her to bring, jux keep on turning deaf ears to her.

SVC said...

When you marrıed her, you don't know it will be your utmost responsıbılıty to take çare öf the famıly... IT İŞ WELL

Anonymous said...

Call her nd explain Ï„̅☺ her that she need Ï„̅☺ be helping U̶̲̥̅̊ if she did nt wnt the family Ï„̅☺ lack anything in some ways am sure she will defiantly. Tneyoth@yahoo.com

APPLE said...

Cant you pay money into her account? Some of you men will go and spend money on whores leaving your wives and children hungry.

Anonymous said...

Lindo! This is the best topic for discussion. Dis woman dey vex oh. Married women comment and say the truth. I have a friend that is the opposite,she would use her last penny to contribute but her husband will never acknowledge her efforts,he will still abuse her and beat her on top. She provides food,contributes to rent,cloth herself and her 4 kids,pay her nanny,she vertually does everything in her home while her husband parties hard. Everyday he would keep between 1k and 2k for breakfast,lunch& dinner,come back and expect to eat Afang and pounded yam. If your wife has a sister or a friend like mine,she won't contribute. Most married men are irresponsible. LIB readers finish me.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried having a heart to heart talk? Did you guys have a courtship? If so what did you talk abt? For all you know she may not even be aware about how strongly you feel abt it. T.A.M

Anonymous said...

That's too bad of ur wife...me I don't work or do business but I help out to make all comfortable when my husband is not around. ..even though I collect my money back whenever he comes back....that's me.

Anonymous said...

Oga give her enough money to buy things. For The House in bulk, frm d Way u sound the money U give might be smal. Some Men dis days wen the Wife Tries to contribute they Decide to take Deir hands off totally.

Anonymous said...

65% of Nigerian women/girls r like that this days..hissssss

Unknown said...

Didn't u see the signs b4 u married her? Or wait, na arrangee marriage seff. Okay carry on, its only a lifetime away so it will pass!

Anonymous said...

Chai woman,leta nw we go dey dey complain,it doesn't cost dis man anytin to go out nd get a new woman,but litu tins for d family wudnt cost u anytin! Ma tots tho..lauhrex

Anonymous said...

just place her on a monthly allowance, that way she ll be forced to make up wt her money.

Dental news said...

Let her be.Drop money all the times you need to,sebi you are the head of the family and im sure you don't drop money for her daughter's clothes and accessories.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm?! And what will be left for you?

Olubukola Ozone said...

U can call her wen u guyz are cool nd use ur inteligence to put it down for her. She'l understand if she's inteligent too... At least, dats wat I'd do

Anonymous said...

Abeg i agree with the woman ojare. when she starts adding her own money now, bobo will 'relax', suddenly na she go dey spend money! Ta!!!!
Shey you now know that if you don't drop money wahala dey abi? Then drop money! You earn more than her, so provide!!

Akwanwa said...

Your wife no well at all at all, what's her problem, abeg carry her go church make dem d̶̲̥̅̊☺ deliverance for her bcos she needs it if not ur marriage will crash (sorry)

Okoro said...

Chai..this is too funy!
May God help you change her ways..amen

KIKIS said...

Your wife is just mean. Not all women are like that.

Anonymous said...

That's a bad woman. Generalizing that women don't contribute is wrong. You have to have a discussion with her and take action otherwise it will be too late to handle. I don't really now how to put it but if her husband and daughter is not her priority, there's no point going on with the marriage. Threaten you'll walk out of the marriage if she doesn't change. Any woman that serve her husband food without meat or fish is evil. It means she doesn't love you and has a plan B. You better read between the lines and be prepared otherwise she'll surprise you. She's stashing the upkeep money for her other plan. Wise up my brother. This woman will leave you very soon. Talk to your parents about it. I'm a woman and no good wife does that.

Anonymous said...

That is very bad of her... i guess she does not know the meaning of family.. well i think she have been like this even before you got married to her you, just didnt notice it bcos of your love for her.. it will take the grace of God for her to change.. good luck jonathan...

Anonymous said...

It al depends on u.mak ha undastanda.

Anonymous said...

Come let me ask you alobam, didn't you date her before you married her to know who you are putting in your house?

Anonymous said...

Very selfish of her. I am surprised though that he did not notice this before marrying her. These are issues that need to be thrashed out during courtship. I personally cannot stand women like that....shebi she's meant to be a helpmeet? I advise the guy to go for counselling and talk to her parents/pastor or some authority figure she respects since she is refusing to listen to him....#selfishwoman...there are loads of women like her who aren't willing to do anything and just want a husband/marriage where they can put their heads, but there are also wonderful women as well! Good luck!

Anonymous said...

LINDA,I AM ALWAYS HAPPY WHENEVER YOU TAKE TIME OFF YOUR MAN BASHING TO BLOG ABOUT MISCONDUCT BY WOMEN.MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THIS YOUR BLOG HAS BEING MEN DO THIS,MEN DO THAT,MEN ARE EVIL,WOMEN ARE SAINTS.
THE MAN SHOULD COMMUNICATE MORE WITH THE WIFE TO AMICABLY RESOLVE THE ISSUE.HOWEVER,I DISAGREE WITH HIM WHEN HE SAID THAT HE AND HIS DAUGHTER SHOULD BE THE PRIORITY.THAT SOUNDS A BIT SELFISH AND WHO KNOWS ,MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO HIS WIFE'S CONDUCT.IT IS NOT ABOUT COMPETITION BUT COMPROMISE.LET HIM REMEMBER THAT THE WIFE CAME FROM SOMEWHERE. SOMEONE MUST HAVE NURTURED AND TRAINED HER BEFORE HE FOUND HER TO MARRY.

ANDY.

Anonymous said...

Some women sha.....u ain't askin 4 too much,jst dat u got a terrible wife....God says both wil cling to each oda nd live as one...I suggest u sit her down nd discuss it wit her.

beauty said...

Very bad of her

Anonymous said...

if you drop money for food, she will do it all.. if shes not asking you for pant or bra money then know she uses her money for that. But incase shes askin for everything including maggi money, even after u drop food allowance, then she is just stingy... if not, then as the head of the house, provide for the house.

Anonymous said...

Selfish woman indeed nd 2 dependent on u. Me although a woman,hate women dat. Live. Such lives!!!

Anonymous said...

She says her money is hers alone? Sorry, dude. U married the wrong one. Providing for the family is ur responsibility but little things, she should be able to take care of since she also works. Selfish woman that lacks home training. I feel sorry for u, bro.

Unknown said...

That is the cross you choose to bear... Its too late to avert... Don't fight her over it. Keeping doing as much as you can as the head of the family and ask God to bless you more. Don't even try to change, cause women are very very sensitive to such, and they tend to pull reactions that will push you to the walls. Apply wisdom and understanding here...

Mr. B said...

your wife na smellos. Real women dont wait for their hubbys, If he drops the money fine there is food if he doesnt drop there is still food.No time to wait.

Mr. B said...

your wife na smellos. Real women dont wait for their hubbys, If he drops the money fine there is food if he doesnt drop there is still food.No time to wait.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you giving her a monthly money for the so,so she doesn't have to ask you every morning? Stingy man,she should buy fuel,nd chicken or fish for stew and soup, toothpaste etc mschewww. You're the man of the home so provide. Don't rely on your wife.

Anonymous said...

I honestly wonder why too. A lady will nag, scratch, bite for a man's money but feel its normal to hide every dime of hers.

Even the money you dash her, she wont remove a dime from it to even get something for you.

Thats my No 1 requirement for screening ladies now.

Julie Best said...

Linda what happened to people's comment today ? Or you don't want us to read comment today

Unknown said...

Hmmmm! Guy dy drop moni 4 ur wyf nah,atleast weekly,den she wil help 2.snc u say smtyms u km bk late or wil nt b around.4 example,u drop 8k 4 1wk,she add ha moni 2 complete it. Nxt wk u do d same. U guys nid 2 coperate sewiusly. Marriage z all abt luv n undstndng.

Anonymous said...

Just talk to her ..communication is quite necessary#maryjane22cute@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

A man hu cant fend 4 his family is worst dab an infidel,get dat in2 ur skull,so u call buyin meat fish fuel 4 food little tins,ar u high,even as my dad of 60yrs who nt 2 financially boyant he stil doesnt 4gt 2 drop mony 4 food or ask wot we prepare den u young man is hoardin his mony,u ar stingy dats just d word

Anonymous said...

youngman women are naturally stingy except those overage and desperately searcching cargoes who are willing to sell their pants because of ur expectant marriage proposal.bear wit it,its only zero percent of them that are different which non existent.my wife name na aka gum.she hides her money inside her vagina most times im convinced.

Anonymous said...

The beginning of marriage is not when a husband and wife starts leaving together. The life of a single is where the foundation of marriage starts. As much as u feel pained, u have to bear it BECAUSE, prior to getting married u either ignored what you saw or you did not set basic exams. It's part of ur cross. For her it's a pity because she would suffer in poverty soon if she continues. When her poverty and those of her family start if she decides to change then no guarantee that she would recover because she has sown a seed already.

Anonymous said...

The mind-set we have is sometimes too silly as women. However, this shld have been discussed before marriage - financial well-being is key. I have been married for almost 2yrs now and understand that for both parties to be happy, we have to contribute our quota. I don't wait for my husband before buying food ingredients, toiletries and other minor stuff (I leave the bigger items to him), how does this help? We have more in the bank (savings) towards our emergency and future needs. In a union both shld be fully involved more like 50/50, stop that mentality of "the man shld do everything" this is 2014 and not 1420. Peace out

adorablegift said...

Once a woman is married satisfying her husband $ kids becomes her major concern,so expecting her husband to do everything for her is selfishnes.

Anonymous said...

Please, Man be a responsible husband to ur wife.You want her to cook for u,but u did not drop money for for u want her to use her money plsssss. Man this days tend to look for a woman that is working and contribute to the home.if she cook for u,clean for u,take care of the home,and u also have Sex with her,she produces babies for u,so what then do u do as a man in the home.please play your role as a man by providing money for the home and let your wife do her job by cooking and taking care of the home no cheating please.

Anonymous said...

Some of our men are so lazy this days,the want a woman that can play their their role as a man and still remain humble plsssssss.

Anonymous said...

Woman need to wake up and let the man take care of their responsibility. Your wife is right if she start contributing the man will take advantage of her.

Anonymous said...

I once advice a friend of mine to pay her only sons school fees since the hubband was delaying the payment,since then her husband has refuse to pay, most times he would ask her to pay if the boy is not her son too.

Anonymous said...

God will change her dats all I gat to say and continue ur love for her@mercy

Anonymous said...

I once advice a friend of mine to pay her only sons school fees since the hubband was delaying the payment,since then her husband has refuse to pay, most times he would ask her to pay if the boy is not her son too.

Anonymous said...

MARRIAGE IS AN INSTITUTION ORDAINED BY GOD.IT IS A COMMITTMENT BETWEEN TWO CONSENTING ADULTS.BOTH PARTIES NEED TO SIT DOWN AND LEARN TO MAKE THE MARRIAGE WORK. oumuze@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Shut up and stop whining....you are a man, it's ur job to provide for ur family

Anonymous said...

This shouldnt be generalised cos Shes jus being stingy.my husby earn more nd I still spend.we defined it.i spend on food nd he takes care of all bills.she is ur woman so find her password nd she ll chg.

Anonymous said...

Mr man, those things you call little are not little in the home. Better soup Ωα̍̍̊ money kill am, eating good food everyday is expensive business so don't be looking @the things you listed as small o. Άήδ from your story  as though you don't give your wife money to run the house else it won't be this bad. But, all I can say is, you guys need to sit down άήδ agree on the responsibilities you will take on. If you are paying bills, personal shopping άήδ all that, then  good she HELPS you in the kitchen when you are short on cash. Whatever you do, don't leave her with the kitchen. Άήδ remove your mind from her money or are you saying if she wasn't working you won't be buying food for the house?

Anonymous said...

Am in full support of d woman.i don't know what's wrong with men of nowadays.its ur duty to provide for ur family.why do they always want women to contribute wen d women too ve family to support back home.abegi I no dey wan hear tins like dis.

Anonymous said...

Do you give her monthly allowance for upkeep of the house?

Unknown said...

Dis ur wife own too much,To me a woman should support her husband financially once in a while

Anonymous said...

Your selfish wife needs a rude awakening.
Give her things to pay for. If she refuses, get another woman to replace her.

Anonymous said...

I am a wife and I don't have that Ideology. My friend has such mentality but I tried speaking to her about changing....being married makes you a team. Reorientation of your wife will hopefully change her way of thinking.

Ada said...

You married a selfish woman. I am a wife and a mother. When I wasn't receiving consistent income, I would still use my money to supplement, but diapers, handle the little I could. Is your daughter not her priority? So she means she can't take care of her own daughter?
She should be able to buy and ration, some days I make plenty meat, other days I make a little. You guys need to seriously talk before you both push your marriage to the curb in a few years.

True Blue Blood said...

Poster, I feel ur pains. But few things u shd sort out. 1) if u don't give her monthly feeding money, try to do so.
2) U can actually talk with her, rily nothing stops her from adding up to the money u give her to take care of the house.
3) Do u know how much she earns? If its rily small, then the amount she contributes will be rily small...
Having said that, I think u shd lead by example...make her see what u want her to do...willingly! Gradually she'll change.
Try to enjoy ur marriage...
All the best...

Gold said...

That's very bad of her,so long as a woman is working she should assist her husband as his helpmate,pls sit her down and talk 2her about it.

Solo said...

Dear lazy man. To carry wife is not an easy task. Forget all this mordernisation ideas. You men are selfish you only embrace modernity when it suits you. You are a man, provide. It is the only job you have. You think say to carry pregnancy for 9 months, breastfeeding, stay up and watch the children, you think say na beans. Okay can you share the load and carry the belle for at least 4 of the 9 months. You are equipt to carry load that is why you have male hormones. The woman is equipt to bear children. If you were planning to share money responsibilities with your wife, in the beginning of the relationship you should have planned and both of you agree not to have any children but to concentrate on bringing in the money. You want to eat your cake and have it. Lazy fool.

Unknown said...

Buhahaha..this actually made me laugh, well ladies love managing there money but do u actually drop money self at home cos if u do, sure she ll help out with dis little things but know dat this little things u call,are everyday things..better still pay her monthly salary for food stuff,but wifey haba help ur man biko

Anonymous said...

How can she give u MEET in your food when u can't spell it? Lol! Just try to communicate better with the madam, u will get better result

Anonymous said...

I prefer to hear both sides before commenting, but if this is the whole truth, you need to have a chat with your wife. Please make sure she is in a good mood when you do this. If possible take her out and ensure you talk to her with your tone as calm as possible. If this does not work, ask someone she holds in high regard (preferably a relative) to speak to her.

Fearless! said...

Coss excess money makes guys misbehave more.
@poster, ur wife is very stingy except ur story is incomplete.

kunle said...

I have in support of this BV especially the last paragraph. I have jilted a lady before coz of this single act. Some Ladies can be so mean. But you should sense this attitude of hers' while dating. There are some better ladies out there with good mindset. The primary objective of the husband is provide for his family but the wife should assisting atleast in a few way just like the example BV gave.

bobbyjukson said...

my brother i understand ur feelings, she no dey try at all.her money is meant for only she and her family? na waooo.my brother dat person nobi ur wife at all.

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