Dear LIB: I'm torn between my husband and my unborn child | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Dear LIB: I'm torn between my husband and my unborn child

From a female LIB reader
I write to you with a broken and confused heart as I do not know which way to turn to now or which of the decisions I am about to make would be the best of decisions. I am a first time-to-be mum with a divorced man who has a 6 year old son. My pregnancy is the first child we are to have between us but instead of it bringing us joy, its tearing us apart. Doctors have just diagnosed that my unborn child has a medical condition that would affect him for a long time and would be financially demanding for us. My husband says there is no need to discuss it that its abortion straight otherwise he is out of our marriage but am like this is my first child. God can still heal my baby. Would it not be cruel of me to just allow the life of my child be snuffed out because I dont want to spend money? I'm so confused whether to keep the baby and forfeit my home or to do as my husband says. Please I need your urgent advice

231 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Please don't abort but don't fight with your husband either. Have a deal with him that if the baby comes out really sick you'll give it up for adoption.

In the meantime be prayerful and positive. Speak life to every part of that baby. The word of God works.

Anonymous said...

PEACE IN JESUS NAME.
This is your decision based on your faith/believe in God/doctors. Its really a question of trust. Do you trust the words of the doctors more than the word of God? Because "blessed is she that believeth, for there shall be a performance of those things told her from d lord" Luke 1:45. God had said "children are an heritage of d lord and the fruit of the womb his reward" psm 127:3. Do u think God will give a bad gift?. There are giant in everyman promise land/ place of happiness, and they manifest in various form. You can either contend with this situation by studying Gods word that relate to this case and declaring them everyday believing and see a healthy child born or do otherwise if your faith level cant sustain this. BUT YOU CAN GROW UR FAITH. See Matt 7:11

Forgive me for going all scriptures, this is what i believe and that is what i will share with you. MY GOD, WHO IS A TRUE FATHER IN INDEED WILL SEND YOU HELP ON THIS ISSUE. EXPECT IT. AND TRUST ME, YOU WILL CERTAINLY HAVE YOUR CHILD AND YOUR MARRIAGE.

Anonymous said...

My dear, pls know that the doctors r only human. The living God has the final say. Children are gifts
from God. I have bn married for 3 yrs now without a child and after series of test the doctors said I may not b able to conceive that both of my tubes are blocked. But I have seen my God in action and I know what He can do. Who are the doctors to conclude when God has not spoken. He is a situation changer. The very thought of having a sick child can be disheartening but pls have faith and listen to the voice of the Lord, only Him can turn our situation around. As long as God is still on the throne, my dear pls have FAITH and believe that He will heal ur unborn child of whatever thing the doctors call it. Talk to God.

Anonymous said...

My dear, pls know that the doctors r only human. The living God has the final say. Children are gifts
from God. I have bn married for 3 yrs now without a child and after series of test the doctors said I may not b able to conceive that both of my tubes are blocked. But I have seen my God in action and I know what He can do. Who are the doctors to conclude when God has not spoken. He is a situation changer. The very thought of having a sick child can be disheartening but pls have faith and listen to the voice of the Lord, only Him can turn our situation around. As long as God is still on the throne, my dear pls have FAITH and believe that He will heal ur unborn child of whatever thing the doctors call it. Talk to God.

Funmi said...

All will be well, but thank God for the computer age that can detect medical state of a fetus before delivery, she can give it a second thought but medical advice is much preferred

Heywhy said...

My dear, I know you must have read alot of comments and am even shocked to see people rainning abuses, sonsorry but never you feel bad cos it is allowed to be confused. My candid advise is for you to abort the child if it is not too late, that is, if it wont cause future problems for you to conceive again, I am speaking from experience, I have a child who has Cerebral Palsy (Google it) and it took alot from me, he is presently abroad with no sign of improvement. Bringing such a child will not only cause u pain but the child as well cos he or she may live to regret why u let him live, cos no one likes to be different from others in a disadvantaged way. Save yourself, your husband, your marriage and your unborn child the everlasting pain and let it go, I believe strongly in prayers but if his condition doesnt change, you will end up saying it is the will of God, maybe letting him go now is also his will and he will surely give u another child full of life. Being your first child should be d strong reason why u should let him go back and come back healthy. God bless U.

nekarh said...

mi dear, the doctor says its for a while n ur baby will be fine, besides God can heal.as difficult as it might be i think u shuld decide to keep ur baby and hope for the best. if he leaves u, God has better plans.

Anonymous said...

Ppl shuld hv discovered that dis's a very bad place 2 ask 4 advice..,u'll only get more confused...

Aby said...

My dear, Let me remind you that Doctors are not God and they dont have the final say on any health condition.

God may want to use that to try you. Keep you baby and take care of him/her if your husband refuses to and see what God will do

Anonymous said...

God can still ur baby? nne are u serious? Do u not see many mentally ill, congenitally deformed people walking around? Why hasn't god healed them? Children and adults with cancer nko?? And other deadly diseases?

Listen, unless u really wanna have this baby without caring about his/her future health deformities. However, if u r having this baby cos u r hoping that "god will heal the baby" then nne u are setting ur self up big time! This is what quad screens, genetic testings during pregnancy care for! To give u the option of aborting viable deformed babies. If god wanted ur own baby to be normal why will he give it to u deformed in the first place? Abi other women that have deformed kids, are they less special than u who is hoping that ur kid will be healed.

I will say abort the baby and save him/her a lifetime of pain and agony.

Anonymous said...

Tough one! May God guide you to take the right decision.

ary said...

I think it is unfortunate that it is your first child, but it would be more so if you bring a child who you will fend for for the rest of your life! It will be strenuous believe me. Abort the child, God has other plans for you.

Madu Ugo said...

please whatever you are doing.... dont suffer the unborn child because not only will you spend money, the baby will pass through pains... But if ur faith is strong, then go ahead and pray so that ur next checkup will show positive signs

Unknown said...

Do not kill your children for the fear of want verily killing of your children is a grievous sin, God would provide for them just as he as provided for you, and remember God can do all things, the child may be born normal.

Anonymous said...

My dear God can heal cancer

Munch Mee party foods and small chops. 08033833239,08189706279. said...

1 million likes for u for this comment

Unknown said...

I will advise u not to temper with dat child, dat doctor is not God. just have faith in God and live dat man alone for now, I'm not saying u should live de marriage, but for now give ur main to God and see Wat he will do for u.

Django DEV said...

Before I posted my comment I went through a few comments. Some people don't actually know what it takes to take away somebody's life. Please keep your baby and pray to God for a better husband. He sounds like somebody that have been ripped of his conscience. That kind of man cannot share your woes... Think twice about this please.

Anonymous said...

This sir alpachino must b an imbecile.

Anonymous said...

Do not abort this child pls. Trust God to heal. He is Jehovah Rapha the great healer. As for ur husband, earnestly pray for him and God will touch him at last, he might leave right now, but will surely come back. DO NOT KILL THAT BABY, GOD WHO PUT THE CHILD THERE WILL SURELY HEAL. BE PRUDENT PLS!!!

Ebere said...

Hello, I doubt the woman will see my comment but in case you dear woman do see it. Please go http://sippinglemonade.com. Your child regardless of whatever condition he/she has is a human being, a human being with many potentials, please don't kill him or her. I really wish we could talk some (outside LIB comment box), you can contact me on simplyebere@gmail.com. You, your baby and your husband are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Dear Woman, regardless of whatever condition your child has, he / she is a human being and your child as you rightly refer to him / her. Please don't allow its life to be taken, he / she has potentials. Go to http://sippinglemonade.com/ to read up more. You, your baby and your husband are in my prayers. You can contact me via email simplyebere@gmail.com if you want to talk more about this. Love and prayers

Anonymous said...

It amuses me to see Nigerians quoting bible verses as if they are righteous! With the vile and bile words spur everyday on blogs it truly behooves me!
Where it not these same set of people that cussed out the couple who insisted on having a deformed twin babies? What double-standard! What hypocrisy!
How righteous are you that you expect healing from God?
How strong is your faith to believe in the child's healing?
How patient can you be to wait for the healing?
How is your level of endurance to bear all the troubles that comes with caring for this child?
The same bible says DO NOT TEMPT THY LORD THY GOD!!!

Anonymous said...

You got married to a divorced man with a 6 year old son? And you want to tell us your hand was not involved in the divorce?
You are worried because you want to quickly have YOUR own child for him and it's likely you are carrying a boy, that is why the reluctance because you can't tell me that this is your first evacuation in your life?
I dislike these half- truths stories by posters;

Anonymous said...

Please safe this child from suffering throughout the days of his life on earth! You think it is beans to look after a child, not to talk of the one that needs round the clock watch? Men are not sentimental like women, and nobody can take care of your child like you, so you would be at home all the time because day-care centers or house helps or nannies would get tired!

Anonymous said...

Don't bring a baby into the world that will give u suffering and pain and mockery.Who even told you that all abortions are sinful,abortions were meant for cases like dis. Keep away emotions and face the real fact.

Anonymous said...

I have a retarded elder brother dat was born dat way cos my mum was sick while he was in dere nd it affected him. We love him so much buh my mum wishes she dat let him go, cos he is a burden nd he doest hav d life that others hav. So my dear spare him dat nd urself too. Like som1 earlier said heaven is better dan earth. The Lord is ur strenght as u make dis decision.

Anonymous said...

U sounded lyk my sister in christ! I'm lifted by ur comment.

lady of the sky said...

It's easy for people to say keep the child, abortion is a sin, others are saying don't keep the child do u want to bring a child to this world to suffer? Anyway this is what I think, don't be like those half-baked Christians without faith that die in the labour room everyday out of ignorance and stupidity becos they want to give birth like the Hebrew women despite been warned earlier on by doctors. My take is if u want to keep your child... you better have radical faith, the kind that moves mountains. Don't worry about your husband, all will be well when the child comes out healthy. But my dear sister if you don't have this kind of faith, just respect ursef and remove this child. Ask pple with kids with one form of health challenge or the other, it's not beans o. So many of dem end up smothering life out of the child by demselves, some dump them in some schools and neva goes to see dem, some just lock dem up in the house. So use your tongue to count your teeth.

Anonymous said...

God gives gifts and He gives perfect gift that only makes rich and adds no sorrow.. How do u want to seek His face in asking for whether it's right or wrong to have an abortion...?.. It's murder!!!!.. He alone always know the end from the beginning and we can't question Him.. In believing if He can perfect the health of your unborn miracle.. I will say.. Let God be true and all men be liars... You can say its easy for me to say.. Well, I v my story , I had my baby and she didn't breathe for 20 mins after birth, she got a line and she was rushed to the best hospital u can think of in America.. Doctors said she will not live a day and we should sign her off for research, we refused, at the time all her organs stopped working, long story short, we kept asking what doctors said she wouldn't do and we kept putting it to God in prayers,,, GUESS WAT, she not only lived and went off life support, she was discharged health exactly a mth after she was declared dead and she has since been called miracle by even the best doctors... PLEASE let your God's might be trusted.. He can do wat is seen as impossible.. Only believe and listen to good counsel and also get people of faith to pray with u... God bless you.

Omobolaji said...

if he loved the child and cared for him as much as you did he wouldnt say that. keep the child and if he continues then leave with the child. God will protect you and your child and even heal the child. You dont know what the child would become in the future. He's ur blessing trust me. Lots of Love xx

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