Dear LIB readers: How do you bring the spark back into a marriage? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Thursday, 27 March 2014

Dear LIB readers: How do you bring the spark back into a marriage?

From a female LIB reader
Please I need desperate help. I've been married for 8 years but the spark has gone out of my marriage. My husband used to be so romantic but his priorities have changed since we had our four kids. Its now all about work and children for us. We haven't gone on a dinner date in years. We don't even make love anymore whereas in the past we couldn't get enough of each other. I'm trying to rekindle the romance in my marriage, please any suggestions? Serious replies only, please

176 comments:

Alloy Chikezie said...

One of the best ways to rekindle is doing those things you guys were doing when you first met


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sii Al said...

its called aging and possibly u dnt look sexy 2 him no more.....try and look trim and improve ur dress sense and try 2 always seduce him wit d looks

EGOVIN said...

Sorry about that poster,one sure way to bring back the spark in ur marraige is to go to the market buy correct meat,cook ogbono soup,I mean draw soup and wash YA TOTO inside,walahi if ya hubby chop dat soup things go change,make sure u don't hav ur bath for two days o,then use two fingers to bring out all d overnight mucus from ur pussy and put in the soup.thank me later

Alloy Chikezie said...

One of the best ways to rekindle a marriage is doing those things you guys were doing when you first met, like going out together, going for movies, making sex time more fun, and you as a woman, you also need to make your husband want sex, entice him, try and look good and sexy just the way you were, when he first met you, its not easy but it requires work and determination from both you and your husband, it shouldn't be one sided, you trying to rekindle it alone, its about working together like a team


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Anonymous said...

U should try some romantic stuffs on him to get d spark back. Do d taking out this time around etc

Anonymous said...

talk to each other more and sort it out.









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princess said...

My dear! U can make it work again,wear sexy clothes,tell him romantic stories,tell him on saturdays dat u guys re going out 4 swimming,cook some food dat u hardly prepared 4 him,I believe u guys wil be inlove again

Anonymous said...

You need to change ur strategy ....ur dressing, special food delicacies, new sexy lingre ..etc lovely text messages ..will help...

Anonymous said...

A surprise romantic get-away will do....u need some alone time without the kids. you dont have to travel...save up and go to a beautiful resort or hotel here....marriage is hard work and i feel you all the way. hugss

Anonymous said...

Madam u two need to put ur hands on a naked wire and u will see d spark will automatically come back on a serious note u need to look him in the eyes and talk to him how u feel about it how he doesn't care anymore let him know he is not being fare to u ask him if he doesn't want u anymore he should tell u

LAZY READER said...

Go back and read the previous Dear LIB readers we have treated this kinda story before.

Anonymous said...

Give him a lap Dance!

Anonymous said...

See what I don't understand is why women will be too scared to touch/hold their husbands dick! Like Bitch it's not goin to bite you, yes I'm a lady and have been married for 7years, I don't wait for my husband to write 5pages of poems before I hold he's dick! It's yours, play with it, put Urr mouth on it, rub ur bare butt on it and deres no way d nigga won't respond. Abeg I'm tired of all des Una story. Stop waiting for poems and dinner date, put ur mouth on it while he's sleeping and trust me every oda tin, either work/kids will be on hold. LOL

Olaleye Adisa said...

Call this number for help 180. ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥ 

bonita bislam said...

My dear go back to the drawing board.Start reminiscing over the very day you met to the sweet old days of your premarriage! Then put all those things you did into action(It may be sexiness,neatness,activeness in bed,listening ear,no nagging,friendly to all his frnz,u name them).

Felix Richard said...

Look for professional help. Look for marriage councilor. U and ur man need to discover what is missing. Then start from there. Just know this. U re not the only one with this issue. So don't feel its something bout u.

Iphy Isabel Odiaka said...

Work on urself; begin to look as attractive as u used to be den; prepare d environment; mk it relaxing and sexy. U can neva pass him by

Anonymous said...

Both of you should take and challenge yourselves. For a month, you both have to do something romantic daily. Not necessarily going out but talks and nice gesture. Spend an hour daily after kids have gone to bed to talk ams remember why you live him so much

Anonymous said...

Go back to the things u always do.U need 2 start doing those things dt excites him d most.

Anonymous said...

hummm! interesting.

@MeetdrealEvans said...

My sister it is finish

alexis said...

M no marraige counsellor or a married person,buh I think U̶̲̥̅̊ shuld bcome dat young sexy person he culdnt get enof of in d past,try U̶̲̥̅̊я extra best 2 luk attractive,if it doesn't work,den talk 2 hm abt it,hez response will tell U̶̲̥̅̊ if hez cheatin or not!

Anonymous said...

Use the Internet don't take advice here . They will only tear you down

Nnay said...

you need to schedule date nights it doesn't have to be fancy you can make video diaries too you must commit to that...get a baby sitter go on an adventure

Anonymous said...

It is well o, we ladies really need prayer, both of you need to talk n understand urself very well. It happens to me too, after four kids the love is kind of shaken, but wisdom is the most important tin der, do wat he love most, respect him more dan before n you see more changes. God will help you.

Anonymous said...

It's a normal thing. A man with 4 kids to provide for in this wicked world has no time for nonsense.

Anonymous said...

Talk to him about picking a day in d week for date night. Just d two of you go out to eat or have a drink or see a movie. Buy a sexy revealing night dress and wear a sweet fragrance every night to bed. Also brush and keep your breath clean. He'll come to u. Find time to rest and make yourself look fresh at bed time, he'll begin to drool over u sooner than later. These points worked for me so it might work for u. #onlymysuggestions#.

Anonymous said...

You need to get away to somewhere without the kids like a weekend get away filled with surprises and new things you gus have never done before. It is well, dnt worry

FUNMINISTA said...

Why won't the Spark die,4kids within just 8years.

Anonymous said...

on the lady with 4kids increase, upgrade ,build immediate means of income from both sides that can guarantee high security to cover or pick bills for the next ten years conveniently then your love spark comes back OR LET HIM STAY BACK WHILE U PICK THE BILLS .CHOOSE THE OPTION IS URS DINNER PARTY KO DINNER PARTY LEHIN OMO MERIN PELU BUKATA

Anonymous said...

on the lady with 4kids increase, upgrade ,build immediate means of income from both sides that can guarantee high security to cover or pick bills for the next ten years conveniently then your love spark comes back OR LET HIM STAY BACK WHILE U PICK THE BILLS .CHOOSE THE OPTION IS URS DINNER PARTY KO DINNER PARTY LEHIN OMO MERIN PELU BUKATA

@edDREAMZ said...

Am guessing ur man must have changed bcos yu changed, either frm hw yu dress, the way yu kip ur hair, may be yu are adding weight, ur cloths normally ooze, yu are the nagging type, or yu dont normally ask him hw he is doing other than the children and the house... Maybe is not ur fault but his, he might be going through some difficult times either frm work, family or even an ex lover..... Yu just have to seat down with him and straighting things out b4 is too late....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

@edDREAMZ said...

All in all prayer is the key to ur solution..
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Pritchard said...

Start texting,talking,acting dirty (sexual) to him. Send him nude pix of a man and woman banging,porn.
When waking in the street talk about about dck and pussy,boobs and fuck talks, most women stop or don't even talk dirty to their men but their men talk dirt and flirt with side chicks perhaps the side chicks initiate it.
When you finish having sex do t just get up and leave, relax there and talk dirty.
Do you shave his private parts? Die he shave yours? Do you shower together? Do you fuck outside your house e.g hotel,car. Go to the movies and sit at the back allow him finger you, give him blow job,walk on the street in a dark place allow him finger you,squeeze your butt and boobs.
Always look clean and smart,don't tell me "what for after all we have kids already why do we have to do all that", yes we men like it,if u don't do it with us we will find one side babe to do it with.

Any woman who doesn't talk dirty,flirt and do naughty things with her man is most likely going to have another woman do it.

Don't be conservative,reserved,shy,laid back, when it comes to ur husband because nothing you have to prove anymore.
Have you ever held his dick while in the living room and say "baby fuck me now?", hehehehehe . Have you ever call him on the phone and say "baby where are you, I want to fuck you now come to me", yes don't be shy we men enjoy it when women initiate sex.

Have you ever stopped the food you eating together and start sucking his dick? Have you ever asked him to stop the car by the road side in the dark and fuck him or quick blow job? These are memorable things that spark up relationship.

Don't be wife and cook only then bath the kids thinking you have done a lot for the day lol.

Cute G said...

Talk, talk, talk.Communication is the key. It can never be enof to talk about situation like this.And remember to put God as the 3rd cord.

Anonymous said...

Well I surgest you make the move by trying to be romatic yourself,wen he's home,dress sexy and when he's at work send him romatic messages and also pray to God that hes not seing some1 else.Gobless.

Opelicious Morgann said...

Sit him down and talk to him cuz communication is d first key. Go on a honeymoon-kind-of-retreat, go for marriage counselling, try having spontaenous and kinky sex, revisit places which was of interest to you while you courted....

Hope that helped. Include prayers too!

olubukola luro said...

Am going to give it toyou straight,u probably dont look god anymore babes thays y he aint feeling you,u extremly fat, a guy does nt understand cos u gave birth u lost ur sexiness Hell no! They dont care they still expect to see the sisi they got married to. Honey, hit the gym get good weaves ,dust off ur modestly sexy wears and watch him go crazy(all dis will.work except he is gettin some outside)

Anonymous said...

Go and get the book "why men love bitches" and read well,it will help u *goodluck*

Anonymous said...

But Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ said after 4 kids!!!
Do Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ still want more???
......My candid advice 4 Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ is dat ask ur husband either he still want more kid or not, or make Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ people go for family planning, ℓ̊ think dat will be better.


~ALATISHE say so~

Yemi said...

I have a material that you will find very useful for this exact issue.....it is well. How will you get it though?

hilary obiorah said...

The problem is that often times people think marriage is like bagging a degree, after which you just hang it on the shelf to gather dust. We forget all the hard work we put in getting the degree that we are just content just only to have it. That's how marriage is, a lot of people forget all the dates, quickies, adventures they went through while they dated. All those ingredients that lighted up the relationship are thrown out the window, cos they are 'childish' things! After a while marriage becomes work and all passion just dies out of it. My advice y'all should try to do all you did as kids, before you got married. Find time to go on dates, watch movies, play act whatever. Just make yourselves feel alive, become something other than mom and dad.

Desmond to d G said...

People knowing fully well they don't need any advice,but just want to hear from the dumb and uninformed LIBRs..........

Anonymous said...

Take him out on a date,mk d room more romantic,buy him gifts,suggest vacation for jes the both of u only nd pray to God to restore life bac in ur marriage.

Sylvonce said...

Not yet married so no I idea, tho I wil suggest u bring back those swt lil things u do while courting...only u truly knws ur man/woman. D answer lies in u...#discover

Anonymous said...

engage in Adventurous/ Dangerous/ Interesting activities even sports that would cause adrenaline to rush, and then after this be the first to make a move i hope this helps

kclub said...

You see what exactly I use to tell gurls of nowadays, you keep shouting, you love babies, u want more babies, how will a man even stay @ home having 4children in 8yrs of marriage, abegi, na to dey work like junky ooo, e no easy for 9ja todei. The more d kids the more the hardwork....#lmao#

Anonymous said...

You should both sit and talk about this issue, it's a serious one. Sure he's trying to make ends meet to make his family comfortable, make him know this is important as well.
God will help you dear.

Anonymous said...

I want to see the comments as well,having d same issues in my own marriage.I think it's normal with the kids and all but I don't like it. Pls help.

Anonymous said...

Both of u need 2 talk..& u 2 try to b sponteneous..

Anonymous said...

Get creative gyal. Write him a note saying... "I miss you" Leave it on his pillow. Shed the pounds and put on the lingerie. Initiate the passion. You know what he likes.
If that doesn't work plan B:
Stop cooking, cleaning and doing things in the house. When he notices that the home isn't being taken care of properly. Refer to him the bible which says. "Husbands love your wives" Let him understand that he must love you.

bbm pin 7439955a said...

Google me. Cheers

ANAFLOX said...

First, pray about it. Secondly, take out time to think about those things he use to like about you, start doing them, try to be more attractive( in dressing, the way u do things) lastly wake him up@ the middle of the night to discuss it, in a low tone. Lastly don't stop praying, something good must come out of it, I promise.

Desmond to d G said...

People knowing fully well they don't need any advice,but just want to hear from the dumb and uninformed LIBRs..........

bitchplis said...

I wonder why some ppl are so silly to seek marriage advice here...Is there no marriage counsellor u can visit or counselling dept of a church(if u r a xtian)...na LIB wey be say 90% of visitors are either single,students or olosho u wan get advice...am sorry for u

Anonymous said...

I think this is normal in every marriage, these are simple things you can actually do: most couples like to deny the fact that they look different from when they married and now, but you do look different, and trust me appearances in a marriage should always be intact especially from the lady, so if you have gained some weight, please lose them, if u left ur sexy clothing, please get them back, try to look good for him all the time, give him surprise strip tease with lingeries when he least expect it, by now u must be a bit shy to do that, as he feels like a stranger to u, but my dear, it might take just little things like this to get the spark back up, it died naturally, trust me it will rekindle naturally!.

Goodluck from ZOZO

Anonymous said...

Give him lap dance!.....Linda no dey
Post my comment abi

Anonymous said...

A counsellor could help




Female student who was giving it to Two male classmates behind classroom

Anonymous said...

provide a side chick for him...oh wait hes already done that for himself....

you women want it all...and we men want a side chick


is that too much to friggin ask

Anonymous said...

linda pls when it comes to sensitive topics like this, i think you need to filter a lot of comments like those telling her to fuck off pls that will only discourage her. my advice is pray to God to renew ur luv. try new fins out, tk a time off without the kids. i wish u well having kids should not change anything cos God knew kids would come and he said love er till death not till you start having kids.

Anonymous said...

i am going through the same thing in my marriage. it is very sad that things turned out this way. i have tried different things but none has worked so i made up my mind to make myself and the kids happy. if it works, thank God and it does not work..too bad! God dey..i'm not going to kill myself cos a man cos men are so not worth it!

Anonymous said...

Am also going thru dis in my marriage,I ve even tried everytin romantic but yet its realy not workn out.am realy praying for Gods intervention

Mab said...

Why evuls

Anonymous said...

U shuld focus on being a true friend by genuine kindness nd concern 4 his happiness avoid silly acts dat provoke him nd 2 d issue of love making he is probably scared of get u impregnated again

Anonymous said...

In Marriage like in life, there are good times and bad times. You have to ride out the bad times and good times will come back. Pray about everything and worry about nothing

nonso olisa said...

Go n Watch MR & MRS

Anonymous said...

Even single girls can't find love,so don't talk down on her having kids. Kids or no kids love still scarce some people or theirs died long ago even as single.

jbankzE said...

Drop d kids @a frds place on weekend nd dress like a sch gal or nurse wif candle lit dinner den turn em on wif sexy moves.fuck is brains out nd dnt 4get to su*k em til he Cumz in ur Mouth den ur husby wil always cum fr u. Rememba sey na Fish brain Men dem get,once u sabi dia code,u go always de on dem. #callmelovedoctor

Anonymous said...

What a horrible thing to say! Kmt

Anonymous said...

Prayers my sister and care for him,you are the neck,he is the head,without the neck,there is no head..Don't be tired,Just show him Love and be sweet too..ignite the passion,dnt wait for him to do all the touching first,Touch him @ dos places..Fuck him in a way it has never been..He wld immediately divulge all the problems that he has been facing..This is how I handle my man,it maynt be so for yours sha,,Jst find out what he loves,then read marriage books,they enlighten you..cheers maam

Anonymous said...

GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB...CHIKENA

Anonymous said...

GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB...CHIKENA

Osarhiemen Agbonkonkon said...

Lol..the four children within 8yrs didn't help ur marriage.
Do those things both of u used to do while courting.Also look attractive and irresistible.
Get someone to help u wit ur four children so u dnt grow and look old too quickly.
I think it'll help.
Just an advice .

Anonymous said...

DARLING listen this is a crash course ok! 1.book a hotel room. 2. Pick a dress, a classy sexy one n not a trashy sexy one ok. 3. Get some1 reliable to watch ur kids for a night. 4. Take him out for dina in a not too crouded restaurant. 5. Initiate sexy converstn. 6. Tell him how u miss the both of u being 2geda n making luv, how u miss his sexy touch n all that kin stuff. 7. Take him to the hotel wit a bottle of wine, now let see who jumps on who. NB: u ve to initiate all this based on the kind of person ur hubby is, adjust d list to suit his person n make sure u pick d bills DON'T dump it on him coz he probably didn't plan for it financially. I'm sure this 'll bring back ur spark. N lady pls get one sexy victoria secret nightie to spice up ur bedroom. SWEET ANONYMOUS.

Anonymous said...

linda pls when it comes to sensitive topics like this, i think you need to filter a lot of comments like those telling her to fuck off pls that will only discourage her. my advice is pray to God to renew ur luv. try new fins out, tk a time off without the kids. i wish u well having kids should not change anything cos God knew kids would come and he said love er till death not till you start having kids.

Angie Cape said...

I'd say you become the lady he fell in love with and not always the nagging wife; we can't help nagging hey!.. You know his weakness by now, tolerate it.. Be his *wife*; make him his favorite meal.
When he gets back from work help him untie and give him a nice shoulder massage, whilst at it, ask him how work was and always listen, don't be forward.
It may not work immediately, be patient cos you are on the right track of bringing the spark back on Hehe. Don't give up!
Goodluck dear!

Anonymous said...

DARLING listen this is a crash course ok! 1.book a hotel room. 2. Pick a dress, a classy sexy one n not a trashy sexy one ok. 3. Get some1 reliable to watch ur kids for a night. 4. Take him out for dina in a not too crouded restaurant. 5. Initiate sexy converstn. 6. Tell him how u miss the both of u being 2geda n making luv, how u miss his sexy touch n all that kin stuff. 7. Take him to the hotel wit a bottle of wine, now let see who jumps on who. NB: u ve to initiate all this based on the kind of person ur hubby is, adjust d list to suit his person n make sure u pick d bills DON'T dump it on him coz he probably didn't plan for it financially. I'm sure this 'll bring back ur spark. N lady pls get one sexy victoria secret nightie to spice up ur bedroom. SWEET ANONYMOUS.

kendall flower said...

Shut up asshole!!!! Madam its normal.... Life challenges usually can bring strain into relationship. I bet u, what keeps a couple for 20 yrs or 30 or 40 is knowing dat the storm will be over someday!!!!

kendall flower said...

Shut up!!! U fool. Madam please its a normal thing. Couples fall in and out of love. It will get beta with time.

Anonymous said...

LINDA PLEASE TELL HER TO WATCH THIS MOVIE WITH HER HUSBAND *HOPE SPRING*...... WATCH IT TOGETHER IT IS AN AMAZING FILM... START DOING THOSE THINGS U WR DOING BEFORE. GOD BLESS

Anonymous said...

Its not his fault, 4 children to take care of in Nigeria is a whole lot. I have 2 kids and I know how I dread it when its time to pay school fees, I'm sure he has a lot on his mind. Marriage is like a fire that slowly burns out all u have to do is to rekindle the fire by pushing the wood inside.

Anonymous said...

Using any means rekindle the fire of marriage

Apple said...

Hmm. Take a trip together, dinner lunch and so on..Hope he is not cheating???..Hmm.

musty, 08027351727 said...

Let me advice you as my sister,My dear,i must tell u the honest truth,marriage gets boring after a while ,with or without the kids,the kids are not the reason for the romance gap between you and your husband,infact they are the unifying factor still keeping you guys together, most of the marriages without kids ends up hitting the rock.Now this is it, the reason for the romance gap could be that 1.you lost shape possibly due to the 4 kids,2,you nag or complain alot,3.you stopped showing ur husband how sexy you are ,maybe thru the way you dress,which is common in this country of ours,ladies get married and after 1 - 2 kids,they start to tie wrapper round the house and suddenly become old,3. you dont have a job and you are dependent on your man alone,guys naturally get tired of ladies who sits home all day and eat,sleep,grow fat and adds wieght, that can put any man off,4. this might be a little funny but maybe sex with u is not fun bcos you have just one style to it,you need to show ur man you have styles to sex , try new things,i dont think is a sin for couples to watch sex movies as sex is a very crucial aspect of any marriage,5.if u can sit him down to ask him what the problem is?tell him to speak his mind tell him what he expects from u sexually,7. read books on marriages and how to satisfy ones husband,not just sexually,but in other aspects too,8. if you dont assist your man financially that could lead to a very big gap too,8. find out if he doesnt have single lady satisfying her sexually outside, find out stylishly because if he does,my dear he might never wanna ve sex with u ,because all this single ladies her ready to snatch ones husband via sex,there is nothing they cant do when it comes to sex,9.if he has an extra marital affair with some lady, just pray to God to seperate them because if you do it with force,my dear thats a one way ticket out of the marriage,10. lastly Put everything before God the Almighty he will surely answer ur cry!

Ola Akin said...

Give am love potion na.

Anonymous said...

Don't know y a lot of libers don't know when to draw the line on advice. The lady is looking for ways to bring back sparks in her marriage pls not about her 4 kids and her conception timings! Babies can come four at once-quadruplets! If u are not married I don't think u should b giving out advice yet,wait until u do then u will b in a better position then cos experience is d best teacher! Lady, next time u need some piece of advice about smthing going on in ur life pls go to ur pastor,very close friend u can talk freely with(married of course) or google abt it. I suggest u talk more to God about it,do ur bits too(look & smell nice,demand less,talk more wit love,touch him more,giv him those looks,smile & laugh more,give him gift etc i can go on & on & on. Am sure u two used to b friends b/4 u became married? Go back and kindle those flames again &The Best of luck! Oz

Anonymous said...

MƔ dear is normal in marriage its on and off spark. ♏Ɣ advice as it work for me is to seduce him. Your house wear, night wear and entertainment not blue film just inspirative video wine and meat while I pet the kids to sleep I go to him. I'm creative. Today I have ping him to kn how is work is doing, I made his favorate and dis weather is for the married and he can't wait to come home. NURSE

Anonymous said...

It's no easy my dear. Just bring out time for him alone, go for date nights, learn new meal all for him, do the old things you did alone. God will answer you. I have similar issue too. Mine are not the kids but my sisters in-law. They are something else I try my best but they treat me like trash. Am good to them only when they want something from me. When they insult me and treat me wrongly I transfer all the coldness to their brother and my relationship with him gets cold. Sometimes I want to bring the spark back but their behaviours make me coil into my shell. God help us. $£.

Boladale Kolade said...

Women tend to shift focus on d children when they arrive, forcin the man to take backstage. With this, the couple draws apart while the man focuses more on his job as d provider of the family. The ball is in your court. Plan a gettaway for both of u alone without d kids this easter and do that periodically. Let him also know that u are there to help him bare d burden of the family too so he does nt need to die working his ass off. Men to need reassurance from their wives u know.

Okoro said...

U both might have fallen outa love for each other! Try to fall back in... Hold on tight and dnt let it break you.

Anonymous said...

If you cant go for dinner, let dinner come to you...Why don't you cook him his favourite meal... light up some candles and send the kids off for a sleep over at their friends one weekend. Ditch work for at least a day to prep so you don't look tired! its just a day... work cant be more important than family considering your condition. Also make sure you look SEXY AS HELL!!!

Anonymous said...

When things like these hapun, d first thing u do is to go to God in prayer. Secondly, communication cannot be overemphasized. Sit him down and let out ur burden. Bt be mindful of ur words, that is, don't make him feel he is the cause of everything going on. Thirdly, do things right. Dress well, cook well, be smart. God will help u. If u still nid to talk to me, here is my pin 29C60D11, tho I'm nt married bt I think I can help. My parent are marriage counselors and I've learnt a lot from them. It is well ma.

Anonymous said...

Dt B A Naging Wif , B A Luving Wif

BlogThug/ 7c446631 said...

Hope ur not looking like a bag of stuffed fufu, smell like burnt hair n wear wrapper up n down ? If u are then hit d gym, get new sexy clothed n perfume. N learn how to talk dirty

Anonymous said...

Well, this is what I do when the 'spark' seems to be dying - I imagine hubby is my boyfriend & then try to do all the things girlfriends do for their bf. For it to work really well, I keep the kids at bay too.
You could also remind yourself of the reasons why you chose to marry him out of all the men in the world - assuming you were not coerced.
As for Y'all yelling at her for bearing 4 kids in 8 yrs - can one ever please the world? If she had no kids, problem; 1 kid in 8 yrs, problem - so, let's free her on that one. After all, 2 yrs is a respectable gap for child spacing and you don't know if she had twins.

sweet 16 said...

U must be d biggest mumu on planet earth. I've been noticing ur comments, u must b a dull person. Think about it.

Anonymous said...

And wtf is this biatch talking about??

eazybaba said...

For all d singles and "not married" dat gave dia comment..."you don't know the half of it"!

Anonymous said...

Ur comment made sense today. Glory!!!

Gaia said...

If only anyone could really answer this question...

OLAOPA ABIODUN said...

From d look of things, u are not working so u have time for frivolities. Dinner date and sex all d time. If u are d one working for 12 to 14 hours per day monday to sunday, will u allow any man ride u like a horse after a hectic day or spend your money on dinner dates. You better get busy because if anything happens to your husband, your kids will look up to you for their upkeep.

prince eben said...

pray to God for his intervention....He is d only one who can mend dis.......


second thought.......PLUG AN ELECTRIC CHARGE INTO EACH OTHER.....DEN UR MARRIAGE WIL DIFFINITLY SPARK......lol

LIZZY said...

All I have to say is IT IS WELL


@peacfullyahead!!%

Anonymous said...

Lmfao!!! U took d words outta my mouth

Anonymous said...

Lmao

prince eben said...

pray to God for his intervention....He is d only one who can mend dis.......


second thought.......PLUG AN ELECTRIC CHARGE INTO EACH OTHER.....DEN UR MARRIAGE WIL DIFFINITLY SPARK......lol

Adipom said...

My dear keep praying and do the things he likes, things that brought you two together in the first place. There is no problem God cannot solve. I wish u all the best.

Anonymous said...

FOUR kids? In Nigeria of Today?? In 8yrs, what happened to family planning, and you are looking for dinner date? Wobia ni ee!!! U still want to eat with four kids and round belle?? So if he takes you to dinner, u sef go open menu? I wish you the very best, but having 4kids in this era, isn't a good idea....

Aby said...

Initiate all the things you guys used to do. Sponsor a trip with your husband, invite him on a date, once in while spend weekend in the hostel without the kids etc.

Anonymous said...

My dear welcome to d real world make ur children ur focus bring dem up well dats ur gain in d marriage been there 34yrs now and hold on to God he will him rest so dat he can see u as he use to Gud luck

Amarachukwu. said...

Prayer!!!

Guze said...

This thing happen to many marriages, I think the way forward is for one to decide to make it work. Decide you will do your part. Decide to be happy. Decide to love. Etc. When your partners see all these, he follow suit. God help you.

Anonymous said...

be dat sexy lady u use to be blf d children cam,be his best frnd n also tel it to God in prayer.stay blessed

Anonymous said...

Ve a Weekend get away without the Kids!pls look attractive dress sexy make ur hair look different learn to makeup so u cn look different and younger!in ur get away take sexy I mean very sexy lingeries!!!wen u get bak too kip up d fire!trust me once u start lookin attractive and getn attentions and stares frm othr men wen u hang out!he head go turn he wil start lookin @u cos it seems he's lookin thru u @ d moment!!!!best of Luck...xoxo Charmie

Anonymous said...

Ve a get away weekend without the Kids!pls look attractive dress sexy make ur hair look different learn to makeup so u cn look different and younger!in ur get away take sexy I mean very sexy lingeries!!!wen u get bak too kip up d fire!trust me once u start lookin attractive and getn attentions and stares frm othr men wen u hang out!he head go turn he wil start lookin @u cos it seems he's lookin thru u @ d moment!!!!best of Luck...xoxo Charmie

Anonymous said...

You need date night. Get a sitter at least once a month if not once a week to reconnect. Goodluck.

Anonymous said...

first work on urself,u've given his attention out to work and children,no mata what neva let anytin take away dat precious position he holds.then u knw what thrill him most,if he lyks surprises fyn,ur sense of dressing now matas,do u dress lyk grand-ma?get a sexy nite gown,give him dat special treat and my dear u knw dat his best position on bed?give it to him lyk neva before but pls go for family plan.

Anonymous said...

stop cooking abi? I pity for you. You'll soon find yourself on the street

Anonymous said...

My dear welcome to d real world make ur children ur focus bring dem up well dats ur gain in d marriage been there 34yrs now and hold on to God he will him rest so dat he can see u as he use to Gud luck

Anonymous said...

Knack 2stones and expect a spark

Jade8221 said...

Mrs Lady,
Now u have to plan something oh...Take the kids to a baby sitter, family friend or someone u trust to baby sit.
Go out to dinner just both of u NO KIDS
Go to the mOVIES
Get ur Hair DID..nicely oh (u know what am talking about)
Wear something nice, bum shorts work it girl....shuuuuu wetin u are his wife right...
u have to look for a way oh b4 devil begin show am way....cos trust me no Matter how busy a man is at work when it comes to these things he will make time...
Google, read some Karma sutra, and make stuff happen....

Dinma Peace said...

- Be attractive

- Do something unexpected or out of the ordinary
-Rediscover sexual pleasure
- Always keep your channels of communication open
If there are problems in your marriage, talk them out and commit to change what’s in your hands. Focus on the positive goals and limit the complaints.

I strongly feel that the love between married couples rarely disappears. Instead, the feeling of love just hides behind the feelings of anger, abandonment, neglect, resentment, and loneliness.
http://sweetdinma.blogspot.com

Floxy Queens said...

Seek advice from a professional marriage therapist. There are lot of things responsible for the change and they are lot of things you could do to bring back the happiness. Good Luck.

Rancy said...

Pls always respect him even like never before and remember to stay neat always

Joy Okafor said...

My dear, ur plan b is soo drastical.I tink d first advice is more reasonable n could b productive.

Conqueror said...

See finish has set in

Joy Okafor said...

Married now for 7yrs wit 3 kids. I had similar problem.suspected he was cheating and sniffed through his phone n confirmed it.then was able to treat d issue wit him n even d lady and also prayed about it.thank God we're back to being lovers.

Joy Okafor said...

Married now for 7yrs wit 3 kids. I had similar problem.suspected he was cheating and sniffed through his phone n confirmed it.then was able to treat d issue wit him n even d lady and also prayed about it.thank God we're back to being lovers.

temiyeem said...

Pls dont kill me with laugh ooooooooooooo

horluwatosyne said...

Prayer is d key

Anonymous said...

U shuld put ur marriage into God,s hand ,God will restore ur happniess dear.

Anonymous said...

firstly your husband is cheating…secondly maybe you have changed physically …so get in that gym…or get equipment and work out at home. get your groove back mama

Madam Skeptic said...

Please if you have been married for at least 5 years and you are not going through the same experience, let us know your secret. Men are just jerks and users, they make you feel like you are the best thing that ever happened to them and when they have you,they move on to the next conquest which in most cases is MONEY and then when they are old and tired,they start appreciating their wives for putting up with their BS all the while. My dear you can only keep trying, hopefully you would get his attention again.

Anonymous said...

U r mad

Anonymous said...

Loooool as in I haff Laff scatter

Anonymous said...

U r jst an asshole!

Anonymous said...

Lmaooooooo, u'r not nice at all

Kolawole Oshundiya said...

Naughty but true...women lay back too much nowadays.

Anonymous said...

please pardon my language but i want u to prepare his favorite food, take make sure your kids aren't there to cause distraction, google new styles you haven't tried before, get sexy and fuck the hell out of him...leave him breathless, let him see the you from 8years ago was hot but you now can get down and dirty with the best of em... then talk... you guys need to talk about it.

Anonymous said...

Partners who play together stay together, spice up the sex life by having a thresome if both of you are secure in each others sexuality and are sure the person you're playing with is just a third wheel... Have sex outdoors, Spontaneous... Maybe consider role play, dress like Dr & Nurse and go for it... Pretend to be other people.

You know, sometimes when things get bland in-between the sheets, it has subconscious consequences, one partner or both may begin to feel undesirable, this then manifest in other things, you've got to bring vigor and passion back, so go all out and get as naughty as you can to acceptable levels and watch playfulness and excitement return. Don't forget to clean up and freshen up, no amount of role play can compensate for lack of appeal and attraction.

Ps. It's never too late to get creative.

The Psychoanalyst

Anonymous said...

Though you are Igbo, I have to say you talk sense. You guys are good sexually to be honest, it's all the yam and goat head you eat... I salute you.

Just to add, when are relationship has been on for a while, things get repetitive, they become routine, so what you need to do is shake things up as much as possible.

If it was me, I'd have a thresome, or exchange sexy pics or vids, maybe even go to a hotel somewhere far from familiar environs and have a romantic dinner, maybe even a beach. Just doing something adventurous can add five more years of excitement into a floundering relationship, then come 2018 well have pokie-pokie on the new train from Lagos to Abuja.

Thing is Nigerians think once married that you have to change into your parents, my Mama once said, for women, be a lady in the street a freak in the sheets. This goes for men too. Be gent in the streets a beast in the sheets.

You won't go to hell for using your lady gardens and lollipops for what they were meant for.

Make love and be merry y'all.

Anonymous said...

What's this nonsense?

Alloy Chikezie said...

Come on you are so disgusting! I don't insult people, even when I am insulted, but this is just too much, and its disgusting, that means you are disgusting also, because u can not give what you don't have, and from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speak, so if you say disgusting stuffs like this, it simply mean you are disgusting


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Anonymous said...

You look like grandma yet not married? Waiting for dangote?

Anonymous said...

Alloy, a rebuke should never be so impassioned as to alienate the person who is being rebuked. You see, this individual is perhaps conflicted, perhaps surrounded by those who under value him, fact is he needs to be raised up not throttled.

To Egovin, sometimes in life we just have to rise above the basic and predictable, you matter and so those the individual who posted this and the people who are now rebuking you.

What you've said sounds like it is from a person who has a beautiful mind who has become jaded and exhausted by a world that seems bleak, I want to guarantee you that there is still beauty and goodness, not in religion or hedonism, but in kindness to your fellow man regardless of whether you find them deserving of not.

I have taken this time to respond to you and Alloy, because you both are worth as many lines as possible for me to tell you that you're both my brothers and I see good in you.... Despite the fact that Alloy is igbo ;) just kidding.

Don't be too quick to anger, read deeper into things and hear the meaning behind all things, where words come from means more than the words used.

Regardless of vulgarity Egovin tested people to react and they would have reacted as he probably expected... Or have they? All is well

Mischievous said...

Your marriage is suffering from 'See Finish Syndrome'. Contact Charly Boy for advice.:-)

Anonymous said...

Just love him more! Lol..well, its normal 2 always lose d spark in marriage. Bt d thing abt marriage is d ability 2 keep on staying with sm1 evn wen u'v fallen outta luv with d person..its nt a casual relationship with ur bf or gf dt u cn jus break up n walk away,nop! U av 2 stay n work it out..both of u shd get ur priorities str8,fall in luv with each oda all over again,dts wat marriage is abt,u fall in luv severally..my piece

olubukola luro said...

And hw will the book help? Av read the book and nuttin resemble dia sef with the matter on.ground

Anonymous said...

Story time!

Anonymous said...

Threesome ke?! Bobo! Is this you?

Cagey Berry said...

Lodge in Hotels outside your city, have a threesome, try have sex in odd places like inside the car, on the side of the road in the ŋιghτ....etc. Try communicating with each other when you are apart always sounding vulgar. With dinner dates not left out.

Cagey Berry said...

Lodge outside your city hav a Threesome, do some kerewa inside the car, Road side at ŋιghτ....etc. Try communicating with each other when you are apart always sounding vulgar. With dinner dates not left out.

Anonymous said...

The psychopath... fool, dey should do threesomes, married couple. is dat not adultery? Some people just talk rubbish all in d name of trying to prove dey know stuff... Linda swallow d comment o and drink water on it *rolling my eyes* madam partiality

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry but men that base their love on a lady's body....(how slim or how fat n how much weight gained) are shallow minded....most times pregnancy causes weight gain...n back to d main topic....i think it's a prob faced by most couples....there is a hormone released wen ppl first fall in love that causes one spark n unfortunately most ppl r taken by d spark n think dat d spark is the love but it isnt....this is why u see somecl couples after living 2geda for a while dey say d spark is gone n that means they hv fallen out of love...but it isnt true they r still in love..............

Anonymous said...

Shallow reasoning...smh

nikki harshly said...

U talk and write to much

Anonymous said...

Not everyone believes in your fantasy of a religion, we live in a society where people are free to live in accordance to their choices as long as it doesn't infringe on other people's way of life. So get over yourself, your religion should be your business. Adultery as you call it is a religious fallacy, we live in a circular society, go do yourself a favor and go to prayer meeting or wait on a mountain and wait for your messiah, sane humans are talking.

Anonymous said...

Nikki, you have nothing to say, move along. Egovin and Alloy aint complaining.

Chop Chop said...

minus stress factor, this is normal.

Anonymous said...

EGovin u r an animal...

Anonymous said...

First you start your comment with insults, evidently low self esteem, you feel the need to bring others down to make yourself feel good.Secondly, you use religious rhetoric to try to justify a flawed argument, the calling card of someone with a low IQ (Check it up)Thirdly you insult Linda in the off chance that she may not post your comment, major fear of rejection, even on a blog, and text box passive agression.Hello Pot, have you met kettle...who's the Psychopath? You'd have to have a small vestige of intelligence to even be considered one, you're just a basic human being, a socio-path, meaning you're socially inept, possibly neglected by your parents. Don't let me tell you the story of your life, it will destroy you. 

Anonymous said...

It takes two to rekindle the flame. You'll get frustrated if you're the only fighting to relight it. Have a candid conversation to ask why you're the only one who cares. Bring it back if both of you are willing to work on the marriage.

Anonymous said...

Are u ok??? Wat kind of advice is dt??? Threesome??? See ds lunatic o!!! Mtcheeeeewww... endd time things!!!

Anonymous said...

Like sex is d onli way 2 bring back d spark! Mtcheeewww... don't u hv oda married couple frnds? Organixe a picnic, party and blah. Dts y I like my hubby and frnds. Dem no dy dull! They wl organise party and brng thr wives. Evrybdy rock yhr wife mehn... no time!!!

Anonymous said...

na lollipop? Disgusting little creatures

Anonymous said...

Hmmm ts a serious matter t usualy happens in marriage bt 8yrs ts too early na haba..bt anyway here's my advice..1st go to saloon nd get ur best look den change ur wordrope nd get all all d clothes u no makes him go crazy..den start teasin him wen uar at home u no sit down use idea open ur leg for him to see inside ur leg only to see uar nt wearing undis, bend down see he will see ur waste or breast,den txt him sexual txt wen he's at work or out..wen uar alone wear a sexy lingerie nd dance for him do strip tease for him without askn for sex o den try suckn he's cock lyk dat lady said den after all ds tns suprise him by telin him u av bought a reservation in a nce hotle or resort den wear ur sexy cloths ther beliv me aftr ds teasn he will fuck u evryday lyk a dog..thank me lata

prettyjules said...

Exactly...! serzly no tym for nonsense lmao.

Anonymous said...

You re a fool. I feel so disgusted and irritated. Im sure u are one single teenager still fantasising abt marriage

Anonymous said...

How can sex make people panic so badly? Were you people molested, if you have a good sexual appetite, then most likely you won't be stressed in a relationshi period. Sex for higher species is not may for procreation, it's for bonding, it increases serotonin the hormone responsible for pleasure becomes associated with happiness with your partner and that in turn leads to good health. Do it once I said.

How is having a gossip party, or show my wife of party any good or worthwhile? You are establishing a superficial precedence, one day one off the attendees will bring a new significant other, and I'll guarantee you that would be the onset of your return to sender, as you consider yourself commodity.

This is a suggestion, note and point, first sentence concluded with... Know you're sexually mature enough and aware of each other.... Dont do it if you're not grown.

Thanks for asking if I'm ok, I'm perfect. Lol

And sex is not the only way, but often sex is the first turning off the motor way.

Anonymous said...

@erDreamz ya comment get small sense 2dy, what of ya 2nd, onyez? I never c im own. As per my comment, i bliv both of them are ageing(couple) and children r also involve at fast rate. Try to dress well always, let people admire u in his presence with good fragrance and b humble at all times. Keep good hip-shape figure. Play like a little baby and mother. Visit him at office (unxptd) and excuse him to toilet for fast fingering nd fucks. Try kissing in public as a welcome back home. Sleep naked at night. Buy him gifts. Pay skool fees behind his back or even house rent. Go to beach. COMMIT ALL TO GOD IN PRAYER. *SLIM8*

Anonymous said...

Anal sex. Works all the time :-)

Anonymous said...

Buy him gifts, send ur erotic pix to him, whisper things
Like "I will like to see ur sexy naked body in bed"' , wear see through clothes n sexy ones @ home...etc

Anonymous said...

what surprises me is when a single person begins to advice a married man/woman... I just feel they don't have a clue of what they are saying

Anonymous said...

nice...

daniel adebanjo said...

All have spoken well to their best of knowledge. This will make more sense if u are a christian. God instituted marriage so He have the solution to all problems relating to marriage, if only we have done our part. Do not forget how passionate about all dat concern him when u guys were dating, do u still have dat passion burninig in you? Let him know you understand the changes that took place i.e the children and d responsibilities that came with it. Tell & show him u appreciate his efforts.Try to recall those things that turned him on 7 years ago & do them again. Finally let me bring ur attention to what happened in John charpter 2 when wine got exhausted. The wine symbolises the the joy and happiness of marriage that was finished in the ceremony. JESUS CHRIST only is the answer & solution to ur problem. Go on ur kneels and pray to Him he will give u experience that is better than that of 7 or 8 years ago. Jesus is the answer.

Bestspellcaster said...

my thanks goes to drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail. com for casting a love spell that brought back my ex husband in three day,your spell did not only brought back my man but also brought happiness to my life.i thank GOD for using you to restore my marriage thanks a lot for all your help you can email him for similar situations at drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail. com 'good luck

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