Dear LIB readers: My fiance insists I get pregnant before he marries me
From a female LIB reader
We've been together for two years and now we are talking about getting married. Only he wants me to get pregnant first. He said wedding preparations will start immediately we find out I'm expecting. I don't know if I'm OK with this. My friends feel its outright disrespectful, saying what it means is that he wants children and not me. I hate that he's insisting I get pregnant first, but i don't want to lose him. What should I do?
Otene mvene. Sometimes u're forced to wonder if people still attend marriage courses of recent before getting married. And my worry in this type of situation is that,after succumbing to his present request, who knows the next one he might come up with. I'll suggest you discuss extensively with him to know why he insists you get pregnant first before he starts marriage preparations, I sense he might be trying to put you at his mercy, in the sense that once you get pregnant for him,the pressure will be more on you for you both to get wedded and thereby giving him an opportunity to dictate what happens.
Am in support cos most girls nowadays after Aborting so many Pregnancy & ur womb is empty, dats wen u start looking 4 a Man 2 setle down wit. #Posted via Frlaxzy
If you are sure he loves you and he will marry you go ahead woman.Same thing i told my wife..we are happily married today with 2 kids.One before and one after...If you have been having sex which i am pretty sure you have..do as he wishes..if he has fulfilled all necessary rights...known your parents,etc.
I don''t think its appropriate though but find out what is reasons for that is and address the matter.I simply think if you have come this far waiting then you should do it right. my opinion though.
Yes dear you should get pregnant before your wedding...trust me there's so much juju and black belle pple nowadays and believe me, your husband no go wan know or hear any excuse if GOD FORBID you no come fit carry belle for am after the wedding.
But what is wrong to guyz of this dayz?Like seriously is this love?what if derez delay in child bearing so love will finish.Well babez if you are ok with dat go ahead,for me is as if you dont love me and my love for such man will be reduce. Drastically.
U don't wanna lose a man who sees nothing gud in u apart from child? U don't wanna lose a man who can settle 4 any woman provided she takes in 4 him? W@ happens 2 couple who are married 4 yrs & are still expecting baby? How else do u wanna be told u're not valued? Chai!!!
Abeg, make una no dey ask this kind stupid questions for here. If u don't know what to do, then ask the wives of the P square brothers, make dem answer u.
What if you get pregnant and he dumps you? It has happened to others and it can happen to you! Besides, it's obvious that he is not with you for the right reasons. Plus if you're a Christian, then you knw pre-marital sex is a big no. Leave him. God will bring sb better.
He wants 2 know if u are fertile, maybe u have never really complained of a mistake pregnancy all d while u have been dating him. So... He wants 2 be sure of what he's purchasing. Guys can be really crazy! If ur sure of d love btw u both nd also sure of urself, then do it nd don't mind those hypocrites!
My first reaction is: Igbo! Correct me if I'm wrong besides being tribalistic. If you like your man like that, then go ahead. If you dream of being a 'modern woman' though, this man is not for you.
Another option is to talk and find out what's on his mind with this recommendation, like is it some bad experience or some family tradition or something he read that is driving it? If he's a 'bush man', just the discussion will cause fights. If he's a modern man, by talking you can learn about each other and get closer. I'm suspecting you're a bush woman though, one who knows her place and dare not ask him silly questions?
You know you can still him even if you give him 10 kid,Men can't be tied down with kids in Nigeria. What are afraid of ?
Listen sweetie,you are the only that will spend the rest of your life him,not us.Maybe something painful happened to him and he is trying to protect himself from things best known to him. Pray for guidance and follow your heart.goodluck. In case you chose to go ahead with his idea,make sure you both go for HIV test.But to me,I don't think is okay for anyone to get married with conditions and contract.
Dear, getn pregnant b4 marriage is usually nt right. Mayb uo re cheatn on him, series of abortn wit him, he tinks uo cn nt conceive again dat cn mk aa man 2ask 4 pregnancy b4 marriage. LIB Princess!
Pls kindly leave that man, even your own instinct tells you that the condition he has given you is not a good one... what if you get preggy and he chooses not to marry you, he could even stage a misunderstanding and leave you at a cross road.... he doesn't love you as much as you love him.
Stupid ? Frm cheap girl dats how u girls wil keep disgracin womanhood , anytin dat wil make a make open his mouth n giv u such condition, its only cus u av. Sold out
I know of a couple that couldn't get pregnant again after their first child. And what if something happens to the child after the marriage? That's no guarantee for being childless o it's simply ungodly. Only God can give everything one needs. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and ALL other things shall be added(children included)
You asked question and you ve answer it by ur self. You said u love him and u don't wanna loss him. So wat are u waiting for again? do wat he want and close the case. ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥
It's ok to get pregnant first. He just want to be sure you'll be able to bear him children. He doesn't want a situation where after marriage you both will be looking for children.
Well the truth is he want to be sure you have a functioning womb. Nowaydays most guys are doing It e.g the okoye brothers (jude impregnated his girlfriend before proposing, so did paul).
Are you sure he loves you and doesn't want to lose u too? Who gives such condition/threat to someone they love and want to spend the rest of their lives with? Have you also thought of what happens if you eventually get pregnant and he suddenly changes his mind about marrying you? My dear be wise o
You should dear nobody trust ladies dis days with d way dey are now,havin up to 10 boyfrnds at a tym, God knows how many abortions dey do to stay clean,dey useless themselves 4 their boyfriends n expect their future husband to caRry the burden n deir decayed self, so prove u not worn out#no big deal
It means he doesn't trust u to be able to have kids or probably scared, why not dissapoint him by proving dat u can have kids and a whole lot of it. Don't be discouraged and again u don't want to loose him. Good luck girl
You're gonna have kids anyway, so why not get pregnant? Don't know his reasons but what have you got to lose, it's not like you are still a virgin or you too haven't had sex?
He has a motive, either he needs the baby or he wants to hurt u, I dunno but tread with caution babe. Don't allow it, try and do a background check on this man, has he been married or check his former gf's, that request sounds fishy, why must u get pregnant before wedding, I mean after the wedding u can have like a million children so why insist on pregnancy before marriage, I suggest u don't do it, go on pills so even if u have sex u won't get pregnant, that man has a motive
I will like to ask u a quertion,ve u been sleeping with him if d ans is no den he's just trying to sleep with u n if d ans is yes den he's just trying to b sure u can give him babies.
My dear, I don't think LIB is the best place for you to get the best advice regarding this. You can meet your pastor. Personally, i don't think getting pregnant before marriage is the best option.
He does not love you.You are scared of losing him,is he scared of losing u if u say no?if not,then back off. Besides fornication is a sin.stay away from a man that has no respect and love for you.
U don't wanna lose him but believe u me u've got a whole lot 2 lose if ur marriage pins on u gettin' pregnant first cuz i knw dat da worst possible scenario of u havin' miscarriage or still-birth afta gettin' married haven't crossed ur mind yet. Think abt it thoroughly cuz i knw u can vry well read btw da lines. Gudluck cuz u'll be needin' it...
The guy is just one traditional chap or his parents are. They usually make this request for the fear that the bride may not conceive after the wedding! Totally traditional and crass!
You don't want to loose him? My dear, you don't even have him. If you did, he would be so eager to have and to love you, conditions and ultimatums would NOT even enter the equation. In fact, if you were barren and he knew it for a fact, he would embrace you the more to love away your pain. Remember Hannah ? ? People marry for all manner of reasons I suppose and its up to you to determine what your reasons are for wanting this marriage so desperately. In the final analysis, its your call. - AE
Have you been sleeping with him in the two years you have been together?if yes then he wants you to prove your fertility.if no then be careful maybe he just wants to use it as an excuse to sleep with you.
Have you been sleeping with him in the two years you have been together?if yes then he wants you to prove your fertility.if no then be careful maybe he just wants to use it as an excuse to sleep with you.
Lols u dnt want 2 lose him than get pregnant , simply Is nt disrespectful dnt allow ur frnd 2 make u lose ur man , or won't u get pregnant after da wedding? ~ice princess~
dear; don't be in a hurry cos you wanna get married..do the rite thing....for crying out loud ...I see no reason why a man would wanna get you pregnant before he marries you..that's not love..like your friend insisted she mite be rite..reminds me of a movie where a guy got a lady pregnant expecting a baby boy...when the reverse was the case.he had to dump the girl..don't accept such offer..do the rite thing first should anything go wrong...you be at peace with your mind cos you did the rite thing..men could be so funny these days..if he is the rite man..he would take joy in doing what's rite..talk to him as well
You hate that he's insisting you get pregnant first but you don't want to lose him. I'm pretty sure you know what to do already. But don't get sad if tomorrow he's all about his kids and treats you like a baby making machine because in the end that's the situation you put yourself in. Your man is absolutely ready for marriage but he wants you to get preggers first before he marries you, what happened to loving you so much that he simply can't imagine his life without you so he marries you and along the line, children come? I dunno sha maybe na all the plenty romance novels and movies I watch dey disturb me. You sha know what to do. This is a clear case of the woman loving the man more than he loves her
So sorry dearie!!!! This guy wants kids not u period. He falls in the category of guys that won't be patient if pregnancy delays. I advice u do what u feel is right shaa
Its not his fault... Girls of dis days usually ruined themselves all in d name of fashion or big gal tin. My guy wnts to be sure wht he is buying is still in good condition.
I hope you read this comment. My advise is that if you love and trust him do what he says, men have reasons for example his family may not like you and this is the only condition in which you guys can get married. Please it is better you keep your relationship to yourself and stop telling friends because even with the best of intentions every body has an opinion on the issue and the advise may be harmful. In the end you should always do what makes you happy. Get pregnant if it doesn't work out get an abortion.
Babe, jst free d guy, but u can giv him an option of doin d trad weddin b4 he gets u pregnant, it seems somhw but he mite hav a reason and it not a negative notion.
If a man doesn't value your commitment to him without such conditions, he won't value you even if you died for him. It's a question of your personal principles! And I know a number of people who had miscarriages on their wedding day......then what? it's purely up to you! Count the cost, carry your cross!
My friend is getting married next week and she just had an operation on her ovaries and d doctor said she may never hav children. The guy she is marrying paid for the operation and went against his parents wishes saying he doesn't care if she does not hav children. That's called true love. So please leave dat guy he doesn't love you. There's is nothing worse than marrying the wrong person my dear
Are u a fool? What do you mean by know if she is truly a woman? So does it take only a woman to produce a child? So when an impotent man can't get a woman pregnant so it means she's is not a "truly a woman"? Primitive goat.
Please don't do it! from a friend of someone who has been jilted after getting pregnant for a guy who insisted she get pregnant before marriage. It is arrant bullshit! It's too risky and it in no way shows that he loves you for him to insist that. Engagement can be called off any day. and before u know it he'll be cruising around town with another babe. just ask my friend.
Follow ur heart.I believe this guy so much love kids cos he was born by parents and will not entertain stories of childlesnes when he know that his bullet is fruitfull.
It's suicidal seeking advice here..at the end,u get more confused...beta make ur decision and be ready to face the outcome weda gud or bad..xoxo flynnrules viz-a-viz ripper
I think you should allow him O.the only way I won't wait for my fiancé to get pregnant before we get married is if she's a virgin cos that's the only way I can be sure that she hasn't destroyed her womb,apart from that?mbanu,lailai ko jo..all these girls wey don scatter their wombs?been there and done that o..can't allow one girl that her lights are dim make me off my full light..women can't be trusted anymore..my opinion biko before una kill me.
He's sick... do yourself a favour and DUMP him! I wonder why women put themselves at the mercy of men because of marriage. The minute you loose your identity and self in a relationship you are finished! Be your own person and have self dignity and self respect. It's clear he wants Children and nothing serious!
Crude and backward way of thinking. If he wants you to prove your fertility then both of you should go to the doctor to get checked. Very easy solution. Instead of getting pregnant out of wedlock.
My dear the first thing to do is to ask your man this question "Honey If I try to get pregnant and I cannot does that mean you would not marry me? if the answer is yes then you are with the wrong man. We fall for people and not what they can do for us. its like telling a guy if you are not rich i will not marry you i know guys will never be with a lady who opens her mouth and says that. So don't allow yourself be objectified or else that's how your entire marriage will be.
My dear the first thing to do is to ask your man this question "Honey If I try to get pregnant and I cannot does that mean you would not marry me? if the answer is yes then you are with the wrong man. We fall for people and not what they can do for us. its like telling a guy if you are not rich i will not marry you i know guys will never be with a lady who opens her mouth and says that. So don't allow yourself be objectified or else that's how your entire marriage will be.
Sorry 2 say u wnt blame sm guys many gals wud knw dey v got p wit reproduction n wud still not tell dere hubby. My dear he just want 2 be sure u can conceive
@Anon 3:00, you're the dummy here! You're not suppose to have sex until you're married. Even before christianity came, that's how it has been. That's the proper way. Because fornication is now the norm does not mean whoever posted that comment is a dummy! he/she is absolutely right!
What happened to using medical means to find out if she is fertile if thats the problem like u said.... a woman should not be compelled to get pregnant before marriage. Marriage should be for companionship first before child bearing.
Mstchew! You're high on somfn shey? She should ask God? Did you just say she should ask God? What happened to Heb 13 v 4 that says "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge"
Well dats d same predicament I am in now.he has seen my parents but insists I get pregnant b4 our trad wedding cos I've never had unprotected sex with my boo.I'm also confused too.he has everytin 2make me n our kids com4table but wat if I get pregnant n sm oda gurl also gets pregnant 4him.
God is against sex before marriage. Ur body is d temple of the Holy Spirit. Keep ur self and I tell u d truth he does not have any respect for u. The thief commeth not but to steal,kill and destroy. Accept Jesus and live life in abundance
For all who care to listen, as ODD as I this may sound: Ye are they which justify yourselves before men but God knows your hearts, for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God- Luke 16:15 This may be becoming a celebrity trend but not acceptable to God. The choice is yours though. For those saying they did similar thing and it worked well, it does mean God was happy wit you or that you were right. My candid advice to all is to FEAR GOD and genuinely repent of all sins. Sins has no rating before God - lying attracts same punishment as killing. Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish Luke 13:3
You are wrong about the tribe thing. Most of the people u see getting married today with big tummy are the yorubas. My former neighbour also was given this ultimatum, get pregnant or no marriage and she took forever to find that pregnancy and recently my yoruba bf tried to hint at that but I was very quick to quench that thought in him.
You are wrong about the tribe thing. Most of the people u see getting married today with big tummy are the yorubas. My former neighbour also was given this ultimatum, get pregnant or no marriage and she took forever to find that pregnancy and recently my yoruba bf tried to hint at that but I was very quick to quench that thought in him.
Actually YOU shut it. He/she stated the right thing. Just because the world is acting without morals and core values doesn't mean everyone should join. This ladylady clearly brought her case her for advice, ehich if you dont like you can move on
My advice to u is to try and talk to d guy. Make him see reasons with u. If he refuses it is up to u to decide. U said u don't wanna lose him. Is he the only Man on earth? I ve grown to find out that women are the cause of majority of there problem. First we don't know our self worth. I wish all women could be well informed.if they re I think men will value us more. Men see women as a one of the properties kept in the house. My fellow women I urge u to open ur eyes wide and alo think deeply b4 to succumb to any useless request. I think submissiveness come after wedding and not B4.
Omolara Yetunde Ogunleye is that you. Asewo, because he knows your life is ruined that's why he wants you to get pregnant. Asewo he would never wife you. A way to get rid of you since you refuse to go.
Yetunde Ogunleye he would not wife you. You wish. You keep claiming and stalking him and he doesn't want to have anything to do with you. You keep on saying you have a man and yet he keeps denying to everybody around him including his numerous girlfriends. Shame on you desperate fowl like you. I see no man wants you that's why you wanna die with your grandfather's mate. Linda I better not find my comment missing
Linda 2 be sincere,it saddens me dat people still ask questions like dis like Halima abubakar pls na there re some more important tinz 2 deal with.please use common sense abeg we've treated several issues &more of same kind on dis blog dis no question mtschewww
he thinks you cant have kids hes trying to be sure. men smh. My dear better think well. these days its not once you marry you start jumping to having kids times are hard.
You have been with him for almost two years. I guess you have outgrown the stage of protected to unprotected Sex as the relationship got stronger. And I guess you have never taken in mistakenly... I also guess he did not meet you as a virgin and I also guess you must have gotten pregnant in your previous relationship with your Ex before you met him... And now you have been with him for two years and nothing of such have happen... You have two way out. submit your self for a complete medical scan and he too should do that... And after that, take him to your God in secret to remove that thought of pregnancy before marriage. Please don't blame him at all. You need to know that the girls we have now are totally different species compare to our mothers... Know this... only responsible men get married!
I hope you are not sleeping with this guy, that will be the only ground that gave him the guts to make such a request. is there anything with you or in your family or him and his family that he does not know or have courage to discuss? Whatever it is , stop sleeping with him and both of you repent for the sin of fornication. Both of you get counseling, then married because you love each other. and not for what both of you will get from each other
It is disrespectful if you guyz have been having sex all this while which am very sure he would hv told u to use pills at some point jst to prevent pregnancy probably because he wasn't ready, and he is. If you hv only dated for months and no sex yet bt already informed u he wuld like to hv u impregnated b4 marriage dts understandable. BT two yes of dating and coming up with shows r nt too valued....thank you
No be me holy pass but if u are a christian, sure u know the bible discourages premarital sex. If he has a means of getting u pregy without intercourse by all means, he should! If u were ma sis tho, i'd recommend u kick his demanding stupid ass to the curb! Are we still in the 50s??? If pregnancy is the only condition he'd walk down the isle with u, i'm sorry to say, u r in a wrong relationship. I ain't tribalistic but a certain tribe is known to give such conditions for marriage, ain't it high time to let go of such silly demands???
M going through d same thing,i so much wish God answer my prayer.I dnt mind getting preg bf marriage...And I dnt wanna loose my guy, I luv him so much n can't live ma life without him *sad mood*
The action is not Godly.Marriage is honourable in all,bed undefile.Allow him to go if he wants to.Love should be conditional.If the man really loves you he come back.If he has problem if you will conceive or not,you people can go for check up.
My dear, there is no way I can marry a man who insists on pregnancy first. It is highly disrespectful and immoral. ... call me self-ritheous or whatever, I have a moral standard to maintain.
if you don't mind getting pregnant, then go ahead cos from your tone, I can understand that you really want the man, but you are only concerned about what your friends/people will say. all the best dear
See where are getting it all wrong.bible says bed undefiled but the 21st century is acting like an unbelievers even we are making the wrong thing right in the present day an age. Marriage is all about companionsHip 2.helpmate 3.honor cos what she becomes pregnant and lost it along the line and none other again so what will happen or become Of you,
@Anonymous 2:11pm: Bad belle pple or not.....dat's not a reason to get pregnant Before marriage. Wat if she gets pregnant and at the end of 9months, it's a still birth...we shuldnt play God.... My advice is tell ur man dat Both of u shuld go for a check up, to know the possibility of having a child. Also find out why he wants u to get pregnant 1st B4 marriage....True Love is unconditional...Ur boyfriend is already erasing the "for better. Or for worse, in sickness and in health" in Marriage B4 he gets into it.
Stupid stupid stupid! !!!!!! This space is not enough to take the rant I have in my head and heart. And all the childish ,ignorant comments??? I shudder!
He loves you Not! That marriage will not stand the test of Time!!! Welcome to "A street called- miserable and keeping up appearances" smh**#◆■☆☆
Stupid stupid stupid! !!!!!! This space is not enough to take the rant I have in my head and heart. And all the childish ,ignorant comments??? I shudder!
He loves you Not! That marriage will not stand the test of Time!!! Welcome to "A street called- miserable and keeping up appearances" smh**#◆■☆☆
I don't like commenting but am force to.in my time one bush guy told me the same but I didn't even have sex with him because am the type that study before engaging into a relationship so I snub him,another lady succumb to his request and they got married to God may have it there marriage was a week older than mine,and exactly 9months of marriage I had my baby baby and he had his own when my baby was 9mths old,so he said the wife has been having series of miscarriages.
i have experienced it before and he left me because he could not answer the questions of 'what if i miscarriage?', 'what if the child dies after naming?' and lots more. As a christian it is not right to get pregnant before marriage.If he leaves you because you disagree with his request, it means he is good for you, but not the best for you, take it or leave it
Bona leave diz gurl jare, comfort omonigo is dat u? Hahahaahahaa. Y won't he ask u get preg? U ve lived togeda for a year now n u re already taking fertility drugs so y asking for opinion here. Rubbish!
The guy wants u to get pregnant because he's been sleeping with you without condom for 2years and you have never been pregnant. He wants to make sure u don't go n buy him a baby in port Harcourt
Hmmmm dis is a serious case Oooº° ,dnt know wot to advice u now cos ur mind is made up already but I'm going to tell u a story of my cousin dat had d same fate u r in now,she was in luv wit dis dude n he asked her 2 get pregnant b4 he marries her n she did,when d preggy was four months old which everyone has seen in d village n there was gossips everywhere dat she had an unwanted preggy,so as d guy watched d preggy grow 2 4months,he jst fixed d trad,so as d girl went bck to schl to finish her exams,on dat fateful day there was riot in d schl n as she was running she was pushed down n she was unconscious,she woke up on a hospital bed only to realize dat she had a miscarriage,d guy called d marriage off simply cos there was no baby again n left her traumatized,as God may hv it someone else from d same street wit us ,from d same village married her dis January w/out any condition not withstanding he heard d ugly story then,he luvs her for who she is.So I believe u pick s/fin from dis story I was a witness to n take a decision cos as u make ur bed so u lie on it.Be blessed
Marry him and you will have the most miserable marriage ever! How do women get themselves into relationships where men talk to them like that???? And they stay. Pls pack your bags and make sure in the next relationship, you have respect
You are so right, 80% of girls this days do runz , flushing baby is their second job. When u marry her n she can't give u a family of your own, everyone will tell you to keep praying. You can't pray all u want if u womb is damaged its damaged, even Satan can't give u kids
Unless this is what you want, do not fall for it..
My closest friends have always wanted to marry with Pregnancy but i dont want to.. So if it is what you want fine, however if it is the condition for marriage- please think twice- Let say you get pregant and loss it after your wedding, chances that the guy will leave you if you dont get pregnant immediately are high..
Look at them bunch of hypocrites! I'm sure you all went to church today. You are afraid of loosing him but is he afraid if loosing you? Is he more valuable than you are? What if HE can't get you pregnant would you still marry him? Or are we all so stupid that we assume the ability to get pregnant rests solely with the woman. My ex sister in law pulled the same stunt. Got pregnant for my husbands brother the very first day they met after being introduced via phone months earlier. Dude got her pregnant and returned to the US. 6 months into the pregnancy dude said he did not want to marry her anymore. Today the child is 6 yrs old and dude has only seen him once. Not because dude cannot visit naija but because he just didn't care. The girl is still living in her parents house with the child. Enjoy.
To get pregnant na bad thing? Especially in dis era where single girls dey waka up & down dey find rich men dem go get belle for.....for more advance ask Damilola Adegbite..
Anonymous replier.....bless ur soul! Infact may u have all u pray for tonight...I join my amen with urs. Dis ya reply ehn e sweet my belle die, if I cud giv u d world nw, I wud. Anonymous commenter....calling u a primitive goat is putting it lightly sef. U r d type of inlaw dat use to break homes. Rabied cow like u
Wo....even if dem pay bride price n all, it dsnt guarantee jack. Weigh d option of being a single mum...if u carry belle n it dsnt work out, will u be glad to hv d kid? U wnt spend ur life looking @ d kid n regretting abi? Jst be careful....and talk to ur mother about it if u cn. @ least if kasala bust, e get who don knw d tory frm beginning n cn b a pillar for u. Selah
If he's really bent on it as myopic as he may seem, why not just do all the run of the mill fertility tests, hormonal assay, ultrasounds, hsg as in see a gynaecologist, and he also do his own tests as a proof that everything dey kampe, instead of going all the way to get preggers out of wedlock.
Aunty linda not fair u never post my comments for like 2 years now. Anyways I hav a friend who is getting married in 2 weeks and she recently had an operation on her ovaries and the doctor says she may never hav kids. Her fiancé even paid for the operation. He insisted on marrying her despite opposition from his parents because he says he loves her. So please why should your own be different. Please drop him like a hot potato. There is nothing worse than a bad marriage
So what if she takes in now then after the wedding she has a miscarriage, will he divorse her? personally I tink its wrong for the guy to make such statement.
Anon 2.56... the females in your lineage are the bitches... last time I checked, speech was free you screwed up son/ daughter of a hoe! (I won't be surprised if it's you willy... *winks*) P.S... idiot is an "insult" and not a "curse". You're the ignorant toad here :p lol
Anon 10:21. So does her life end if she looses the guy? NA wa o! What if the mans junk doesn't work? No one is asking that question. It is always the woman that had to prove she is worthy. What about the man??!! Have we not heard of impotence before? Or you guys think it's a myth? Some of you are painfully ignorant it's disgusting. You complain about women having abortions and destroying their wombs. What about you men that drink and smoke? Don't you know it drastically reduces your sperm count. Educate yourselves!
Lmao!! All these cowards hiding behind anonymous identities to talk trash though... can't take y'all seriously. To the last anon, apparently you're someone's servant, that's why the "kween" is paining you. I know who you are but be brave enough to take shots with your name next time... *Muah*
To me the right thing to do is to get pregnant, am sure you know how to.i believe you know this guy more than any of us, just follow ur heart. As for me my wedding is soon and my God's grace i will be pregnant my den.
Hello, 1. You have answered your question in your last line where you said 'you can't loose him'.
2. 90% of those who advised you against it would have done it without people's opinion. You will only receive their wedding IV and wouldn't know what pre-empted it.
3. I don't know your age but if you loose him and seek the opinion of these same people tomorrow, they will tell you, 'you've had your husband as boyfriend'.
4. Obviously, you have been having pre-marital sex, so why are you talking about pre-marital pregnancy?
You can only do that if you are seriously desperate i.e almost 40 years old. If not, dump his ass cos he's just wasting your time. **the selfishness of some men though
Both of you should visit a very good fertility clinic and do the whole fertility examinations,when I said he included, it takes two to make a baby, my father is medical doctor that has practiced for over forty years, he said in the last fifteen years he has been witnessing a lot of men with serious fertility issue,s a good number of them irreversible.
So tell him that you are not getting any pregnant because you don't trust him, that he could abandon you and besides what is the guarantee that you will not miscarry after the wedding.
Am sorry to say this, marrying this man even if you get pregnant or have children for him will be very trying, he is an extremely selfish person, he will not give you peace, this is the type I think, see women as dummies or dolls that are in this world to serve him or satisfy his demands.
Don't marry this man, tomorrow you birth only daughters, bet me he will say it is your fault and will go a buying another woman.
It's funny, I dunno how many Nigerian women insist that their men impregnate them to guard against Impotency?
Or insist on a full Balance Sheet or Statement of Account to evaluate his financial status and safe guard her financial future.
But we are here even deliberating on this sad situation. Maybe Nigerian men need to learn to love their women for who they are and not what they can get from them.
He doesn't need to marry you to have kids. If he wants you, he will marry you and stay with you with or without kids.
If you are going to give the rest of your life to him, you deserve more than this conditional commitment.
Any man that is asking you to get pregnant before marriage..hmmm.. watch out ooo! This is premarital sex which is a sin. He may not marry you if you get pregnant..Be careful!
U r d fool here , a man that puts u under any condition will end up messing u up when u marry him . U urself is looking at his comfy that he will bring to u , girls can b dumb sha
Nor do am, just runnnnnnnnnnnnnn far away from that man biko. You have this far without getting prego,na now u wan take in. Y'all think God was foolish when he said marry first before u born pikin abi. Nor do am o, ehn hn. Bye Bye.
210 comments:
1 – 200 of 210 Newer› Newest»So what if you get pregnant and he doesn't marry you? He's an idiot!
Naija guys are vexing,what happened to marriage first and then pregnant,guess is been flip around now..
He wants to know if u r truly a woman and nothing is wrong..don't mind your friends, take in..
.
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And what's gonna happen if you fail to do it,he's probably gonna dump you,its your choice.
Face of lib
Otene mvene.
Sometimes u're forced to wonder if people still attend marriage courses of recent before getting married.
And my worry in this type of situation is that,after succumbing to his present request, who knows the next one he might come up with.
I'll suggest you discuss extensively with him to know why he insists you get pregnant first before he starts marriage preparations, I sense he might be trying to put you at his mercy, in the sense that once you get pregnant for him,the pressure will be more on you for you both to get wedded and thereby giving him an opportunity to dictate what happens.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Am in support cos most girls nowadays after Aborting so many Pregnancy & ur womb is empty, dats wen u start looking 4 a Man 2 setle down wit. #Posted via Frlaxzy
Run for ur dear life gurl,dats if u dnt wan turn out 2 b 2nd ciara
Dat is totally disrespectful
It's a sure way to know you can have kids for him, what if after the marriage �� you can't get pregnant then the waiting game begins.
Make a decision!
He wants to know if ur reproductive organs are still functioning, lolz.. if u don't want to loose him then get pregnant Asap.
queenreigneth@gmail.com
As a Nigerian I have one advice..... #NO, #MBA, #NON,#NEVER,#DONTEVENTHINKABOUTIT, #DONTDOIT, EVEN YOU CAN'T BE THAT STUPID
So all d 2 yrs u guys av bin 2geda,u've neva gotten pregnant?
My dear, follow ur hrt. If getting pregnant will mke u keep ur man. No wahala! !!
Get pregnant, so many sterile men out there, u myt be doing urself good
If you are sure he loves you and he will marry you go ahead woman.Same thing i told my wife..we are happily married today with 2 kids.One before and one after...If you have been having sex which i am pretty sure you have..do as he wishes..if he has fulfilled all necessary rights...known your parents,etc.
I don''t think its appropriate though but find out what is reasons for that is and address the matter.I simply think if you have come this far waiting then you should do it right. my opinion though.
Please leave him. The one for you will come, one who respects your wishes and feelings. Trust God.
Yes dear you should get pregnant before your wedding...trust me there's so much juju and black belle pple nowadays and believe me, your husband no go wan know or hear any excuse if GOD FORBID you no come fit carry belle for am after the wedding.
But what is wrong to guyz of this dayz?Like seriously is this love?what if derez delay in child bearing so love will finish.Well babez if you are ok with dat go ahead,for me is as if you dont love me and my love for such man will be reduce. Drastically.
IS HE AN OKOYE??? NA THEIR TRADEMARK BE DAT
How stupid can babes get , r u supose 2 av sex wit a man dats isint ur hubby let alone askin u 2 bi pregnant
U don't wanna lose a man who sees nothing gud in u apart from child? U don't wanna lose a man who can settle 4 any woman provided she takes in 4 him? W@ happens 2 couple who are married 4 yrs & are still expecting baby? How else do u wanna be told u're not valued? Chai!!!
pray... Tell God to show u d way thats d only sollution
Very disrespectful
Don't give in
If he doesn't want to marry u because of dat, den he's not ur man
Abeg, make una no dey ask this kind stupid questions for here. If u don't know what to do, then ask the wives of the P square brothers, make dem answer u.
Nonsense!!
What if you get pregnant and he dumps you? It has happened to others and it can happen to you! Besides, it's obvious that he is not with you for the right reasons. Plus if you're a Christian, then you knw pre-marital sex is a big no. Leave him. God will bring sb better.
Wow! That's not nice.....well why seek 4 advise wen u've just said u dnt want to lose him. Get pregnant!!!!! Next!!!!!
Give him the Ultimatum to Impregnate you before end of the year or u are out from the relationship.
Sily man.
He wants 2 know if u are fertile, maybe u have never really complained of a mistake pregnancy all d while u have been dating him. So... He wants 2 be sure of what he's purchasing. Guys can be really crazy! If ur sure of d love btw u both nd also sure of urself, then do it nd don't mind those hypocrites!
@jessyangels4love
Go and ask the wives of the Okoye brothers!!
My first reaction is: Igbo! Correct me if I'm wrong besides being tribalistic.
If you like your man like that, then go ahead. If you dream of being a 'modern woman' though, this man is not for you.
Another option is to talk and find out what's on his mind with this recommendation, like is it some bad experience or some family tradition or something he read that is driving it? If he's a 'bush man', just the discussion will cause fights. If he's a modern man, by talking you can learn about each other and get closer. I'm suspecting you're a bush woman though, one who knows her place and dare not ask him silly questions?
You know you can still him even if you give him 10 kid,Men can't be tied down with kids in Nigeria.
What are afraid of ?
Listen sweetie,you are the only that will spend the rest of your life him,not us.Maybe something painful happened to him and he is trying to protect himself from things best known to him.
Pray for guidance and follow your heart.goodluck.
In case you chose to go ahead with his idea,make sure you both go for HIV test.But to me,I don't think is okay for anyone to get married with conditions and contract.
U BETA START PACKNG UR LOAD TO LEAVE HIM.
VERY DISRESPECTFUL........ UR FRNDS RE RITE... HE WANTS CHILDREN ND NOT U....
IF U END UP MARRYING HIM ND THERE IS DELAY IN CHILDREN , HE WUD MAKE LIFE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR U
Dear, getn pregnant b4 marriage is usually nt right. Mayb uo re cheatn on him, series of abortn wit him, he tinks uo cn nt conceive again dat cn mk aa man 2ask 4 pregnancy b4 marriage. LIB Princess!
Pls kindly leave that man, even your own instinct tells you that the condition he has given you is not a good one... what if you get preggy and he chooses not to marry you, he could even stage a misunderstanding and leave you at a cross road.... he doesn't love you as much as you love him.
Stupid ? Frm cheap girl dats how u girls wil keep disgracin womanhood , anytin dat wil make a make open his mouth n giv u such condition, its only cus u av. Sold out
I know of a couple that couldn't get pregnant again after their first child. And what if something happens to the child after the marriage? That's no guarantee for being childless o it's simply ungodly. Only God can give everything one needs. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and ALL other things shall be added(children included)
You asked question and you ve answer it by ur self. You said u love him and u don't wanna loss him. So wat are u waiting for again? do wat he want and close the case.
⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥
It's very very disrespectful my dear.....wen u get married u get pregnant biko
It's ok to get pregnant first. He just want to be sure you'll be able to bear him children. He doesn't want a situation where after marriage you both will be looking for children.
Do what ur heart wants
My dear,if its conditional,its not luv.He clearly wants a mother not a wife!
Give him a befitting dirty slap and tell him to go f**k himself.
Plead with him to wait
Well the truth is he want to be sure you have a functioning womb. Nowaydays most guys are doing It e.g the okoye brothers (jude impregnated his girlfriend before proposing, so did paul).
Are you sure he loves you and doesn't want to lose u too? Who gives such condition/threat to someone they love and want to spend the rest of their lives with? Have you also thought of what happens if you eventually get pregnant and he suddenly changes his mind about marrying you? My dear be wise o
You should dear nobody trust ladies dis days with d way dey are now,havin up to 10 boyfrnds at a tym, God knows how many abortions dey do to stay clean,dey useless themselves 4 their boyfriends n expect their future husband to caRry the burden n deir decayed self, so prove u not worn out#no big deal
Ehn since u don't want to loose him then get pregnant for him, abi what else do u want us to say
It means he doesn't trust u to be able to have kids or probably scared, why not dissapoint him by proving dat u can have kids and a whole lot of it. Don't be discouraged and again u don't want to loose him. Good luck girl
What happens at the end of the day after getting Preggy and he abandons u?? Think very well my dear cus marriage is not relationship
You're gonna have kids anyway, so why not get pregnant? Don't know his reasons but what have you got to lose, it's not like you are still a virgin or you too haven't had sex?
He has a motive, either he needs the baby or he wants to hurt u, I dunno but tread with caution babe. Don't allow it, try and do a background check on this man, has he been married or check his former gf's, that request sounds fishy, why must u get pregnant before wedding, I mean after the wedding u can have like a million children so why insist on pregnancy before marriage, I suggest u don't do it, go on pills so even if u have sex u won't get pregnant, that man has a motive
I will like to ask u a quertion,ve u been sleeping with him if d ans is no den he's just trying to sleep with u n if d ans is yes den he's just trying to b sure u can give him babies.
My dear, I don't think LIB is the best place for you to get the best advice regarding this. You can meet your pastor. Personally, i don't think getting pregnant before marriage is the best option.
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He does not love you.You are scared of losing him,is he scared of losing u if u say no?if not,then back off. Besides fornication is a sin.stay away from a man that has no respect and love for you.
U don't wanna lose him but believe u me u've got a whole lot 2 lose if ur marriage pins on u gettin' pregnant first cuz i knw dat da worst possible scenario of u havin' miscarriage or still-birth afta gettin' married haven't crossed ur mind yet. Think abt it thoroughly cuz i knw u can vry well read btw da lines. Gudluck cuz u'll be needin' it...
do it now or are u sacred? Maybe u've had series of abortions in the past ...i did same b4 i wed my wife
Hhhmmmm....the decision is yours to make,am sure u wont loose him no matter what....Ni'ima.
The guy is just one traditional chap or his parents are. They usually make this request for the fear that the bride may not conceive after the wedding! Totally traditional and crass!
You don't want to loose him? My dear, you don't even have him. If you did, he would be so eager to have and to love you, conditions and ultimatums would NOT even enter the equation.
In fact, if you were barren and he knew it for a fact, he would embrace you the more to love away your pain. Remember Hannah ? ?
People marry for all manner of reasons I suppose and its up to you to determine what your reasons are for wanting this marriage so desperately.
In the final analysis, its your call.
- AE
I was passing by n I saw d post,I jes read it n I don't have wat to say bur to wish u all haepi sunday n ebola free week. Sweetest
Have you been sleeping with him in the two years you have been together?if yes then he wants you to prove your fertility.if no then be careful maybe he just wants to use it as an excuse to sleep with you.
No problem, let him do introduction/pay your dowry first
Have you been sleeping with him in the two years you have been together?if yes then he wants you to prove your fertility.if no then be careful maybe he just wants to use it as an excuse to sleep with you.
That's the new trend my dear,do what he says,it dosent mean he has bad intention...Nee
Lols u dnt want 2 lose him than get pregnant , simply Is nt disrespectful dnt allow ur frnd 2 make u lose ur man , or won't u get pregnant after da wedding? ~ice princess~
dear; don't be in a hurry cos you wanna get married..do the rite thing....for crying out loud ...I see no reason why a man would wanna get you pregnant before he marries you..that's not love..like your friend insisted she mite be rite..reminds me of a movie where a guy got a lady pregnant expecting a baby boy...when the reverse was the case.he had to dump the girl..don't accept such offer..do the rite thing first should anything go wrong...you be at peace with your mind cos you did the rite thing..men could be so funny these days..if he is the rite man..he would take joy in doing what's rite..talk to him as well
You hate that he's insisting you get pregnant first but you don't want to lose him. I'm pretty sure you know what to do already. But don't get sad if tomorrow he's all about his kids and treats you like a baby making machine because in the end that's the situation you put yourself in. Your man is absolutely ready for marriage but he wants you to get preggers first before he marries you, what happened to loving you so much that he simply can't imagine his life without you so he marries you and along the line, children come? I dunno sha maybe na all the plenty romance novels and movies I watch dey disturb me. You sha know what to do. This is a clear case of the woman loving the man more than he loves her
Hello bitch! She said she wants advice and not ur useless curse..... Ignoramus!
And You think every tom dick and harry fucks witout condom like u? Whore man/woman
Common shut up dummy!
So sorry dearie!!!! This guy wants kids not u period. He falls in the category of guys that won't be patient if pregnancy delays. I advice u do what u feel is right shaa
Its not his fault... Girls of dis days usually ruined themselves all in d name of fashion or big gal tin. My guy wnts to be sure wht he is buying is still in good condition.
I hope you read this comment. My advise is that if you love and trust him do what he says, men have reasons for example his family may not like you and this is the only condition in which you guys can get married. Please it is better you keep your relationship to yourself and stop telling friends because even with the best of intentions every body has an opinion on the issue and the advise may be harmful. In the end you should always do what makes you happy. Get pregnant if it doesn't work out get an abortion.
Babe, jst free d guy, but u can giv him an option of doin d trad weddin b4 he gets u pregnant, it seems somhw but he mite hav a reason and it not a negative notion.
And You think every tom dick and harry fucks witout condom like u? Whore man/woman
Hello bitch! She said she wants advice and not ur useless curse..... Ignoramus!
If a man doesn't value your commitment to him without such conditions, he won't value you even if you died for him. It's a question of your personal principles! And I know a number of people who had miscarriages on their wedding day......then what? it's purely up to you! Count the cost, carry your cross!
My friend is getting married next week and she just had an operation on her ovaries and d doctor said she may never hav children. The guy she is marrying paid for the operation and went against his parents wishes saying he doesn't care if she does not hav children. That's called true love. So please leave dat guy he doesn't love you. There's is nothing worse than marrying the wrong person my dear
Are u a fool? What do you mean by know if she is truly a woman? So does it take only a woman to produce a child? So when an impotent man can't get a woman pregnant so it means she's is not a "truly a woman"? Primitive goat.
Please don't do it! from a friend of someone who has been jilted after getting pregnant for a guy who insisted she get pregnant before marriage. It is arrant bullshit! It's too risky and it in no way shows that he loves you for him to insist that. Engagement can be called off any day. and before u know it he'll be cruising around town with another babe. just ask my friend.
Then get Pregnant *caseclosed*
You fool. How many girls have done abortion for you?
Follow ur heart.I believe this guy so much love kids cos he was born by parents and will not entertain stories of childlesnes when he know that his bullet is fruitfull.
It's suicidal seeking advice here..at the end,u get more confused...beta make ur decision and be ready to face the outcome weda gud or bad..xoxo flynnrules viz-a-viz ripper
I think you should allow him O.the only way I won't wait for my fiancé to get pregnant before we get married is if she's a virgin cos that's the only way I can be sure that she hasn't destroyed her womb,apart from that?mbanu,lailai ko jo..all these girls wey don scatter their wombs?been there and done that o..can't allow one girl that her lights are dim make me off my full light..women can't be trusted anymore..my opinion biko before una kill me.
He's sick... do yourself a favour and DUMP him! I wonder why women put themselves at the mercy of men because of marriage. The minute you loose your identity and self in a relationship you are finished! Be your own person and have self dignity and self respect. It's clear he wants Children and nothing serious!
Crude and backward way of thinking. If he wants you to prove your fertility then both of you should go to the doctor to get checked. Very easy solution. Instead of getting pregnant out of wedlock.
My dear the first thing to do is to ask your man this question "Honey If I try to get pregnant and I cannot does that mean you would not marry me? if the answer is yes then you are with the wrong man. We fall for people and not what they can do for us. its like telling a guy if you are not rich i will not marry you i know guys will never be with a lady who opens her mouth and says that. So don't allow yourself be objectified or else that's how your entire marriage will be.
My dear the first thing to do is to ask your man this question "Honey If I try to get pregnant and I cannot does that mean you would not marry me? if the answer is yes then you are with the wrong man. We fall for people and not what they can do for us. its like telling a guy if you are not rich i will not marry you i know guys will never be with a lady who opens her mouth and says that. So don't allow yourself be objectified or else that's how your entire marriage will be.
It's not new go ahead
Lots of mistakes in my comments.
meant to say you know he can still leave you even if you give him 10 kids.And what are you afraid of ?
Igbo kwenu! Is he one of d Okoye brothers?
If he insist u get pregnant first, and u don't want to lose him, my dear follow ur heart and let no one decieve u, time wait for no one.
Baby oku I wnt to fuck u
Now I know y linda likes Bonario....... U too sharp die..... Ur comment make sense
Sorry 2 say u wnt blame sm guys many gals wud knw dey v got p wit reproduction n wud still not tell dere hubby. My dear he just want 2 be sure u can conceive
Thank you oo...anon 2.11....ask dem ooo....loose girl
I know 4 sure dat its a bad idea. I won't do it if I were u.wot if he leaves u after u get preggy?
I think u shld tink abt it very carefully bfore getting married OoooOoo!,
FLEE!!!!!
@Anon 3:00, you're the dummy here! You're not suppose to have sex until you're married. Even before christianity came, that's how it has been. That's the proper way. Because fornication is now the norm does not mean whoever posted that comment is a dummy! he/she is absolutely right!
What happened to using medical means to find out if she is fertile if thats the problem like u said.... a woman should not be compelled to get pregnant before marriage. Marriage should be for companionship first before child bearing.
Mstchew! You're high on somfn shey? She should ask God? Did you just say she should ask God?
What happened to Heb 13 v 4 that says "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge"
Lmaooo! Best comment! #gbam!
Well dats d same predicament I am in now.he has seen my parents but insists I get pregnant b4 our trad wedding cos I've never had unprotected sex with my boo.I'm also confused too.he has everytin 2make me n our kids com4table but wat if I get pregnant n sm oda gurl also gets pregnant 4him.
You are right igbo's are tribalistic
Hahahahahahahahahaahaaaa! I can't stop laffing Oooooo! Ur so eight dear
God is against sex before marriage. Ur body is d temple of the Holy Spirit. Keep ur self and I tell u d truth he does not have any respect for u. The thief commeth not but to steal,kill and destroy. Accept Jesus and live life in abundance
For all who care to listen, as ODD as I this may sound: Ye are they which justify yourselves before men but God knows your hearts, for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God- Luke 16:15 This may be becoming a celebrity trend but not acceptable to God. The choice is yours though. For those saying they did similar thing and it worked well, it does mean God was happy wit you or that you were right. My candid advice to all is to FEAR GOD and genuinely repent of all sins. Sins has no rating before God - lying attracts same punishment as killing. Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish Luke 13:3
I can but my pretty ass dis is a guy called Stephen asking u yo do dis
I can but my pretty ass dis is a guy called Stephen asking u yo do dis
If he doesn't want to lose her then he needs to put aside arrant nonsense and marry her as he found her.
Your comment almost made sense till the abortion bit. Senseless noni.
You are wrong about the tribe thing. Most of the people u see getting married today with big tummy are the yorubas. My former neighbour also was given this ultimatum, get pregnant or no marriage and she took forever to find that pregnancy and recently my yoruba bf tried to hint at that but I was very quick to quench that thought in him.
Ur English can give someone nightmares
Thats if u r not already pregnant
You are wrong about the tribe thing. Most of the people u see getting married today with big tummy are the yorubas. My former neighbour also was given this ultimatum, get pregnant or no marriage and she took forever to find that pregnancy and recently my yoruba bf tried to hint at that but I was very quick to quench that thought in him.
its your choice my dear do what you feel is right
Actually YOU shut it. He/she stated the right thing. Just because the world is acting without morals and core values doesn't mean everyone should join. This ladylady clearly brought her case her for advice, ehich if you dont like you can move on
My advice to u is to try and talk to d guy. Make him see reasons with u. If he refuses it is up to u to decide. U said u don't wanna lose him. Is he the only Man on earth? I ve grown to find out that women are the cause of majority of there problem. First we don't know our self worth. I wish all women could be well informed.if they re I think men will value us more. Men see women as a one of the properties kept in the house. My fellow women I urge u to open ur eyes wide and alo think deeply b4 to succumb to any useless request. I think submissiveness come after wedding and not B4.
fact...
you must get pregnant before marriage
i agree with this thought
BORN TO SHINE!!!!!
That guy has been bleeping you for 2 years and you have never got pregnant. He knows what he is doing o.
Omolara Yetunde Ogunleye is that you. Asewo, because he knows your life is ruined that's why he wants you to get pregnant. Asewo he would never wife you. A way to get rid of you since you refuse to go.
Yetunde Ogunleye he would not wife you. You wish. You keep claiming and stalking him and he doesn't want to have anything to do with you. You keep on saying you have a man and yet he keeps denying to everybody around him including his numerous girlfriends. Shame on you desperate fowl like you. I see no man wants you that's why you wanna die with your grandfather's mate. Linda I better not find my comment missing
Left To МƐ, I Think He Wants To ßƐ Sure If ƴǒǘ Aint Barren Ni (Liהda's Maה)
Linda 2 be sincere,it saddens me dat people still ask questions like dis like Halima abubakar pls na there re some more important tinz 2 deal with.please use common sense abeg we've treated several issues &more of same kind on dis blog dis no question mtschewww
he thinks you cant have kids hes trying to be sure. men smh. My dear better think well. these days its not once you marry you start jumping to having kids times are hard.
Lmfaooo
You have been with him for almost two years. I guess you have outgrown the stage of protected to unprotected Sex as the relationship got stronger. And I guess you have never taken in mistakenly... I also guess he did not meet you as a virgin and I also guess you must have gotten pregnant in your previous relationship with your Ex before you met him... And now you have been with him for two years and nothing of such have happen... You have two way out. submit your self for a complete medical scan and he too should do that... And after that, take him to your God in secret to remove that thought of pregnancy before marriage. Please don't blame him at all. You need to know that the girls we have now are totally different species compare to our mothers... Know this... only responsible men get married!
I hope you are not sleeping with this guy, that will be the only ground that gave him the guts to make such a request. is there anything with you or in your family or him and his family that he does not know or have courage to discuss? Whatever it is , stop sleeping with him and both of you repent for the sin of fornication. Both of you get counseling, then married because you love each other. and not for what both of you will get from each other
It is disrespectful if you guyz have been having sex all this while which am very sure he would hv told u to use pills at some point jst to prevent pregnancy probably because he wasn't ready, and he is. If you hv only dated for months and no sex yet bt already informed u he wuld like to hv u impregnated b4 marriage dts understandable. BT two yes of dating and coming up with shows r nt too valued....thank you
No be me holy pass but if u are a christian, sure u know the bible discourages premarital sex. If he has a means of getting u pregy without intercourse by all means, he should! If u were ma sis tho, i'd recommend u kick his demanding stupid ass to the curb! Are we still in the 50s??? If pregnancy is the only condition he'd walk down the isle with u, i'm sorry to say, u r in a wrong relationship. I ain't tribalistic but a certain tribe is known to give such conditions for marriage, ain't it high time to let go of such silly demands???
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You say you don't want to lose him but he loses out too!
You can find how much he loves& wants to marry by saying NO!
If he insists he isn't the one for you.
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M going through d same thing,i so much wish God answer my prayer.I dnt mind getting preg bf marriage...And I dnt wanna loose my guy, I luv him so much n can't live ma life without him *sad mood*
Is he from anambra? Hahahahahahahaa
Girls this days can't be trusted, most of you sleep around even some sleep with dogs this days so i don't blame him. He doesn't trust your womb.
If you truly love him, trust him & really wannabe with him. why seeking for an advice from folks?
If you truly love him, trust him & really wannabe with him. why seeking for an advice from folks?
If you truly love him, trust him & really wannabe with him. why seeking for an advice from folks?
The man does not love you. He is looking for a baby making machine, period. You first before the children!
What a mentality. Smh
The action is not Godly.Marriage is honourable in all,bed undefile.Allow him to go if he wants to.Love should be conditional.If the man really loves you he come back.If he has problem if you will conceive or not,you people can go for check up.
My dear, there is no way I can marry a man who insists on pregnancy first. It is highly disrespectful and immoral. ... call me self-ritheous or whatever, I have a moral standard to maintain.
if you don't mind getting pregnant, then go ahead cos from your tone, I can understand that you really want the man, but you are only concerned about what your friends/people will say.
all the best dear
<< LIB Addict >>
See where are getting it all wrong.bible says bed undefiled but the 21st century is acting like an unbelievers even we are making the wrong thing right in the present day an age. Marriage is all about companionsHip 2.helpmate 3.honor cos what she becomes pregnant and lost it along the line and none other again so what will happen or become Of you,
Lol nice
@Anonymous 2:11pm: Bad belle pple or not.....dat's not a reason to get pregnant Before marriage. Wat if she gets pregnant and at the end of 9months, it's a still birth...we shuldnt play God....
My advice is tell ur man dat Both of u shuld go for a check up, to know the possibility of having a child. Also find out why he wants u to get pregnant 1st B4 marriage....True Love is unconditional...Ur boyfriend is already erasing the "for better. Or for worse, in sickness and in health" in Marriage B4 he gets into it.
True talk. Pamela has said it all.
Gbam!
Stupid stupid stupid! !!!!!! This space is not enough to take the rant I have in my head and heart. And all the childish ,ignorant comments??? I shudder!
He loves you Not! That marriage will not stand the test of Time!!! Welcome to "A street called- miserable and keeping up appearances" smh**#◆■☆☆
Stupid stupid stupid! !!!!!! This space is not enough to take the rant I have in my head and heart. And all the childish ,ignorant comments??? I shudder!
He loves you Not! That marriage will not stand the test of Time!!! Welcome to "A street called- miserable and keeping up appearances" smh**#◆■☆☆
I don't like commenting but am force to.in my time one bush guy told me the same but I didn't even have sex with him because am the type that study before engaging into a relationship so I snub him,another lady succumb to his request and they got married to God may have it there marriage was a week older than mine,and exactly 9months of marriage I had my baby baby and he had his own when my baby was 9mths old,so he said the wife has been having series of miscarriages.
i have experienced it before and he left me because he could not answer the questions of 'what if i miscarriage?', 'what if the child dies after naming?' and lots more. As a christian it is not right to get pregnant before marriage.If he leaves you because you disagree with his request, it means he is good for you, but not the best for you, take it or leave it
Bona leave diz gurl jare, comfort omonigo is dat u? Hahahaahahaa. Y won't he ask u get preg? U ve lived togeda for a year now n u re already taking fertility drugs so y asking for opinion here. Rubbish!
Because we do don't want to loose that is why we always loose. Must you experience things before you learn? Think!
The guy wants u to get pregnant because he's been sleeping with you without condom for 2years and you have never been pregnant. He wants to make sure u don't go n buy him a baby in port Harcourt
Hmmmm dis is a serious case Oooº° ,dnt know wot to advice u now cos ur mind is made up already but I'm going to tell u a story of my cousin dat had d same fate u r in now,she was in luv wit dis dude n he asked her 2 get pregnant b4 he marries her n she did,when d preggy was four months old which everyone has seen in d village n there was gossips everywhere dat she had an unwanted preggy,so as d guy watched d preggy grow 2 4months,he jst fixed d trad,so as d girl went bck to schl to finish her exams,on dat fateful day there was riot in d schl n as she was running she was pushed down n she was unconscious,she woke up on a hospital bed only to realize dat she had a miscarriage,d guy called d marriage off simply cos there was no baby again n left her traumatized,as God may hv it someone else from d same street wit us ,from d same village married her dis January w/out any condition not withstanding he heard d ugly story then,he luvs her for who she is.So I believe u pick s/fin from dis story I was a witness to n take a decision cos as u make ur bed so u lie on it.Be blessed
Marry him and you will have the most miserable marriage ever!
How do women get themselves into relationships where men talk to them like that???? And they stay.
Pls pack your bags and make sure in the next relationship, you have respect
You are so right, 80% of girls this days do runz , flushing baby is their second job. When u marry her n she can't give u a family of your own, everyone will tell you to keep praying. You can't pray all u want if u womb is damaged its damaged, even Satan can't give u kids
Unless this is what you want, do not fall for it..
My closest friends have always wanted to marry with Pregnancy but i dont want to.. So if it is what you want fine, however if it is the condition for marriage- please think twice- Let say you get pregant and loss it after your wedding, chances that the guy will leave you if you dont get pregnant immediately are high..
Look at them bunch of hypocrites! I'm sure you all went to church today.
You are afraid of loosing him but is he afraid if loosing you? Is he more valuable than you are? What if HE can't get you pregnant would you still marry him? Or are we all so stupid that we assume the ability to get pregnant rests solely with the woman.
My ex sister in law pulled the same stunt. Got pregnant for my husbands brother the very first day they met after being introduced via phone months earlier. Dude got her pregnant and returned to the US. 6 months into the pregnancy dude said he did not want to marry her anymore. Today the child is 6 yrs old and dude has only seen him once. Not because dude cannot visit naija but because he just didn't care. The girl is still living in her parents house with the child.
Enjoy.
ZZ
dat is what my Brother did too. he make sure his wife got pregnant first b4 marriage. now dey er married wit 2 kids
And the bitch even says she's a " kween"
To get pregnant na bad thing? Especially in dis era where single girls dey waka up & down dey find rich men dem go get belle for.....for more advance ask Damilola Adegbite..
Being a bitch nigger as usual. Stupid boy
You "unfool" how many guys have you aborted for?
Well... dat can't be luv,he wants 2 be sure ur tested ok.cos he dosnt wanna take the risk,if he luv's u as he claims let him marry u.
Haba Oge nwanne! Why are you doing this to us? What's our offence? #what is wrong to guys#will be reduce. Nne nwayo nu.
No deary, he's the bastard son of mama Iyabo. The man wey fuch hin mama for motor park na Dayo.
Thunder fire the Yoruba race
Anonymous replier.....bless ur soul! Infact may u have all u pray for tonight...I join my amen with urs. Dis ya reply ehn e sweet my belle die, if I cud giv u d world nw, I wud.
Anonymous commenter....calling u a primitive goat is putting it lightly sef. U r d type of inlaw dat use to break homes. Rabied cow like u
If she dumps him you'll give her another fiancee! Why women mind na one track?
Wo....even if dem pay bride price n all, it dsnt guarantee jack. Weigh d option of being a single mum...if u carry belle n it dsnt work out, will u be glad to hv d kid? U wnt spend ur life looking @ d kid n regretting abi? Jst be careful....and talk to ur mother about it if u cn. @ least if kasala bust, e get who don knw d tory frm beginning n cn b a pillar for u. Selah
If he's really bent on it as myopic as he may seem, why not just do all the run of the mill fertility tests, hormonal assay, ultrasounds, hsg as in see a gynaecologist, and he also do his own tests as a proof that everything dey kampe, instead of going all the way to get preggers out of wedlock.
Do the right thing, am sure you know what's right or wrong.
If u dnt want go now....period
Aunty linda not fair u never post my comments for like 2 years now. Anyways I hav a friend who is getting married in 2 weeks and she recently had an operation on her ovaries and the doctor says she may never hav kids. Her fiancé even paid for the operation. He insisted on marrying her despite opposition from his parents because he says he loves her. So please why should your own be different. Please drop him like a hot potato. There is nothing worse than a bad marriage
Exactly!!! I don't understand people nowadays. Its so easy to know if u r fertile with all d advanced medical technology.
So what if she takes in now then after the wedding she has a miscarriage, will he divorse her? personally I tink its wrong for the guy to make such statement.
Anon 2.56... the females in your lineage are the bitches... last time I checked, speech was free you screwed up son/ daughter of a hoe! (I won't be surprised if it's you willy... *winks*) P.S... idiot is an "insult" and not a "curse". You're the ignorant toad here :p lol
Hehehe babe u r sitting on a looong tin. Maka na odikwa risky. Pls dont end up a baby mama o. Good luck sha.
Well, this is definitely not unconditional love.
My dear, run. If dts a determining factor, den his luv shuld b questioned. i advice u dnt.
HE GON GET YOU PREGNANT AND LEAVE
How many time in two years have you had sex with the guy and why haven't u get pregnant for him b4 now abi you don assassinate Plenty?
Anon 10:21. So does her life end if she looses the guy? NA wa o! What if the mans junk doesn't work? No one is asking that question. It is always the woman that had to prove she is worthy. What about the man??!! Have we not heard of impotence before? Or you guys think it's a myth? Some of you are painfully ignorant it's disgusting. You complain about women having abortions and destroying their wombs. What about you men that drink and smoke? Don't you know it drastically reduces your sperm count. Educate yourselves!
ZZ
Babies are awesome, do it joor what's the harm, in sure he'd marry and you know that
Lmao!! All these cowards hiding behind anonymous identities to talk trash though... can't take y'all seriously. To the last anon, apparently you're someone's servant, that's why the "kween" is paining you. I know who you are but be brave enough to take shots with your name next time... *Muah*
Girl, leave his ass!!! That's rubbish!
my please i will advice you plead with him to patient with you till after marriage before pregnancy.
To me the right thing to do is to get pregnant, am sure you know how to.i believe you know this guy more than any of us, just follow ur heart. As for me my wedding is soon and my God's grace i will be pregnant my den.
Hello,
1. You have answered your question in your last line where you said 'you can't loose him'.
2. 90% of those who advised you against it would have done it without people's opinion. You will only receive their wedding IV and wouldn't know what pre-empted it.
3. I don't know your age but if you loose him and seek the opinion of these same people tomorrow, they will tell you, 'you've had your husband as boyfriend'.
4. Obviously, you have been having pre-marital sex, so why are you talking about pre-marital pregnancy?
5. Follow your heart. I can't say do it or not.
You can only do that if you are seriously desperate i.e almost 40 years old. If not, dump his ass cos he's just wasting your time. **the selfishness of some men though
Both of you should visit a very good fertility clinic and do the whole fertility examinations,when I said he included, it takes two to make a baby, my father is medical doctor that has practiced for over forty years, he said in the last fifteen years he has been witnessing a lot of men with serious fertility issue,s a good number of them irreversible.
So tell him that you are not getting any pregnant because you don't trust him, that he could abandon you and besides what is the guarantee that you will not miscarry after the wedding.
Am sorry to say this, marrying this man even if you get pregnant or have children for him will be very trying, he is an extremely selfish person, he will not give you peace, this is the type I think, see women as dummies or dolls that are in this world to serve him or satisfy his demands.
Don't marry this man, tomorrow you birth only daughters, bet me he will say it is your fault and will go a buying another woman.
I don't like this at all.
It's funny, I dunno how many Nigerian women insist that their men impregnate them to guard against Impotency?
Or insist on a full Balance Sheet or Statement of Account to evaluate his financial status and safe guard her financial future.
But we are here even deliberating on this sad situation. Maybe Nigerian men need to learn to love their women for who they are and not what they can get from them.
He doesn't need to marry you to have kids. If he wants you, he will marry you and stay with you with or without kids.
If you are going to give the rest of your life to him, you deserve more than this conditional commitment.
Any man that is asking you to get pregnant before marriage..hmmm.. watch out ooo! This is premarital sex which is a sin. He may not marry you if you get pregnant..Be careful!
U r d fool here , a man that puts u under any condition will end up messing u up when u marry him . U urself is looking at his comfy that he will bring to u , girls can b dumb sha
Nor do am, just runnnnnnnnnnnnnn far away from that man biko. You have this far without getting prego,na now u wan take in. Y'all think God was foolish when he said marry first before u born pikin abi. Nor do am o, ehn hn. Bye Bye.
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