How to spot a fake Abuja big boy | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday 31 August 2014

How to spot a fake Abuja big boy

 
Last time we 'learnt' how to spot a 'fake Abuja big babe' (see that here), now lets learn how to stop a 'fake Abuja big boy' as written by Premium Times Chinenye Ugonna. Enjoy below...
These guys are always well-dressed with flashy cars. Some of them are even from rich homes. You see them looking like a bag of money, meanwhile nothing in their bank accounts.
There is nothing wrong with looking good and not having money to back it up. There is only something wrong when you are doing it for packaging. Continue...


1. Always with the fake accent: Apparently, this is not exclusive to the babes. The male FABBs use all the accents in the world; British, American and Nigerian accent all muddled up in one. If they are talking to a babe who probably lived in the UK with a British accent, their accent automatically changes just to impress. Please, embrace your Nigerian accent, whether it is an Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa accent, be proud of it. You don’t see an American man trying to talk like a Nigerian.

2. He only dates working girls: This is a highly defining character of the male FABB. They do not date jobless babes. If you don’t have a J -O -B, then it’s onto the next one. They do not want to be bothered about taking care of a babe who’s probably still in school or sharing CV about. That is not in their dictionary of potential girlfriends.

3. He drives the flashiest of flashy cars: Warning: Don’t be deceived, the car belongs to their father or uncle.

4. He always has a political connection: A typical Abuja boy is always related to some politician or influential person. The politicians are always their uncle but hardly ever their father. Sometimes, it could even be a politician they have met once- he becomes their uncle.

5. He is a mummy’s boy: Most of the rich male FABBs live off the wealth of their family who still pay for everything they own. If you know a guy who lives in a very expensive duplex in Maitama but does not have a regular job, check that guy! They probably even get monthly allowance from their parents every month as grown men. Hey, not judging, you do you.

6. He immediately introduces you to his family/friends: Imagine you meet this nice looking guy in Abuja, and before you know it, he has introduced you to his family and friends. In your mind, you are thinking that you are an iyawo (wife in the Yoruba language), not knowing you are girlfriend no. 9.

7. He spontaneously proposes to you after a short period of dating: They tell you that you are a wife material or even propose marriage so they can be living off their new working class babe. You would cook, clean and before you know it, you have turned to their provider. Their food, shelter, and clothing would be taken care of by the working class babe. They start with “Please, borrow me N10, 000, I would pay you back.” Next time, it’s N20, 000 and then it keeps increasing. Of course, the babe will never get her money back. If you are guilty of this, it’s not good o! It should be a joint effort.

8. He only remembers his babe on Thursdays: This is the time to remember all the hook-ups they have forgotten from Monday to Wednesday. They need to get a babe to turn up with during the weekend. If Halima doesn’t respond, Salewa will. After all there are many fishes in the sea.

9. He doesn’t have a proper job: This is not referring to the guys who genuinely work/hustle for their money from Monday to Friday to make ends meet. Thumbs up! This is for the guys who claim they work during the week but people still cannot point a finger on what they do. On Friday, they would be the first to update their status with: “Turn up weekend, TGIF”.

10. He’s always the first to pop bottles in the club: They are always the first to order bottles just to impress. When it’s time to pay, they would remember they have to go to the bathroom. It’s not by force to pop champagne. After popping and being forced to pay, they come home to eat noodles. Bear in mind that the money would have bought you a nice plate of jollof rice and a big fat chicken.

So, there you have the Fake Abuja Big Boy, FABB away.

142 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmh Madam Linda.. Go to church

Unknown said...

LMAO!!!! This is very true!!.. But they are spending in the course of pretending..


....LIB ALL THE WAY...

Unknown said...

Nawa ooo, some of dis things ain't true sha......

Anonymous said...

Nice one...happy sunday Lib readers




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Anonymous said...

Linda u are ryt...its very true....lol # AMA Ghana#*

Ceeflo said...

Lol...interesting article

Anonymous said...

Hmmm c assumption na so u think? Mthcwwwwww



........SUNNY X.....

Anonymous said...

Meh, the 1st one was dry, this one is even drier! #my2cents.

Anonymous said...

So what champagne money can buy you is a plate of rice and a big fat chicken ?!! This olodo rapata that's wants to be recognised by all means .

Unknown said...

#Na Wash....

Qurzim said...

Linda wl stl write on ""how to spot a fake linda ikeji"...Qurzimb@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Deliver us from evil......lol

A nice read.
###IamBeauty.

Unknown said...

All na packaging

Anonymous said...

abi ooo, buh hey y expose us like dis na is nt good pls stop it be for u spoil our market.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

Anonymous said...

I know one right now, na fine boy I go chop? Only a stupid gal who is superficial can fall for them. *nelly*

Ijanyimitch said...

Hahahahahahaha, linda

Anonymous said...

Interesting!!
Follw on twittr@successralu

Anonymous said...

This still better than them #fake big girls own though

Unknown said...

Na so next pls

LEEZ said...

Lmao! They're everywhere ooo!

Anonymous said...

Hian!

ary said...

Some of them sleep in their cars, they dress all good during the day, when it is night time, they go to a hotel park and sleep in the parking lot, in the morning shower in the public loo and dress good again to go out! Some even use the so called flashy cars as taxis!

Anonymous said...

Your article doesn't make sense,if the guy dates a working class lady then its something worth achieving,if u can't find work with ur CV den find it with sense#ambition.the person writing dsz is jobless#chingychyke

Anonymous said...

And what of d so many Lagos fake big boys? Abuja boys still dey learn, come 2 Lagos,; u go run..lol

Anonymous said...

Lol. I do agree to lots of this. Lol

Olubukola Ozone said...

I can boldly tell you that all dis ur points are still not wat u can use to determine weda a guy is fake or real... Its much more dan dat

Anonymous said...

Spot on she is right with the big cars, living off parents, looking for working class etc etc.
Also they are also waiting for one uncle to become senator so they can receive their share of national cake which may never happen or they might be waiting for a contract that will never happen.
I rather date an Abuja guy without a car and a Job than date one that drives a Mercedes without a real Job.
Bunch of lazy shits.

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Unknown said...

Hahahaha I believe,av a fwnd lykk dat,choi! Dat guy don wash me tire.....first he said he was a contractor in Abuja n also his in house of Rep,dat he has a chinese chef who prepares his meal n he bot a car bt only drives it in Abj cos de road here is so bad 4 his clean ride plus his fake accent....de guy finish me oh*lmao,bt dnt see y pple live fake lifes,especialy gUys,get Up n work lykk oda gUys who r makin it biko n stop Jonsin

Unknown said...

lol! this writer is cray! i knw threeof em,very popular pple infact,one of dem is BONARIO NNAGS!!

Anonymous said...

Living a fake life is synonymous to everyone as it is said that we are only our true self in the confines of our home. But still sha, this ABJ dudes no dey try. No6 made me laugh.


I want to stop commenting as anonymous, someone please help me. Hope Linda posts this.

#MADEOFBLACK @nicholasumoh

Steveosky 4 Real. said...

"Last time we learnt how to".. See the way you weee stating it as If we are your students.. Linda you sef..

Anonymous said...

And so.....Charly boi rebranded n it's called packaging is it bad to now package mtschewww

Unknown said...

Interesting, Lolz..

Anonymous said...

You missed the point that we always love doing skin to skin :d

@lwkmd_naija
(twitter/instagra)

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha, this article is crazy so right, just can't stop laughing. Rozay talking

Anonymous said...

Some people think this is pointless but I know for sure it's true. There are boys like the one described all over Nigeria.
The lady buys clothes, feeds him, borrows money to him(which she won't get back) and even buys the condoms! Yessssss...
So ladies, be careful.

FUTO rep said...

E be like say one Abj niqqer don chop am clean mouth #nonomabizness

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm... I see

Unknown said...

example number 1 4 8 10 .. some one like me.. and least post this for the first time.. Slim shaddy linda

Anonymous said...

Is Onoja of delphino entertainment an abuja big boy? He seems to be travelling everywhere in 1st class cabins,what does he do to hv such money? Curious

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm Noted!!

Unknown said...

Linda its spot not stop. Thanks

Anonymous said...

Everything you said is true but there is nothing wrong with you enjoying your family wealth, who doesn't like free money especially from your family? Those who have does & those who don't, don't...

Unknown said...

Really?!!!!

Unknown said...

It happens benin here too o. They can put up a show to impreSs babes. Altho, the rich babes nor mind if he's gorgeous n has a big working third leg

Anonymous said...

Mtchewww.... This doesn't at all show that they don't have money chilling in their bank accounts. If you guys don't know any them then STFU. U mustn't talk joor. No 9 is the only thing that sounds like it joor!.

Anonymous said...

Makes no sense to me abeg.

Anonymous said...

Mtcheeww.... NEXT!!

Unknown said...

Very hilarious, but it is the truth. You just can tell when you see one. Babes, i hope you people are learning.

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, which babe wants to date a jobless guy or a guy still in school...

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, which babe wants to date a jobless guy or a guy still in school...

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, which babe wants to date a jobless guy or a guy still in school...

Anonymous said...

Worthless article.

Anonymous said...

Worthless article.

Unknown said...

Lmao.... Linda get time shaa

OJAI baby said...

Ojai says" that's how they r ooo. I have xperience them wella

www.glowyshoe.com said...

Hahahahah...people and fake life

Visit my blog

www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

Olumide Abiodun said...

lol! Very funny and informative. But the irony there is that girls will read this and still go on to fall for guys like this...Girls will always be mesmerized by exterior factors...always. So, don't blame these fake guys. lol!


Are You A One Minute Man?

YINXS said...

that one is sure true,we all so have fake calabar big bois,just saying o

Anonymous said...

ℓ☺ℓ.... Right on point

Anonymous said...

True talk... mostly women . I hate them...CALL ME LIB 1

Deuces Reloaded said...

If na so all of us go dey enta car dealer shop snap enuf pics.

Anonymous said...

na dem the babs abi

#beausteven_blog

Anonymous said...

Lmaoooo!!!!!!

LIBers please click on my name, read and comment. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Still dope unlike that of the ladies published few days ago.

osiaigbotsua said...

Linda one point is missing oh: most of the. FABBs have flashy car but no house they liv in their car is u check their boot u will c box of clothes at night they will use style to visit a friend and spend the night there

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Stupid article. He drives the best cars,has political connections,live in beautiful mansion. What else do u want?

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Sommie. said...

LOOOOOL the almighty Abj?? Bonario is it true????? Unlooking.

Unknown said...

Funny.. #####QUEENMAYA######

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmmm , what happens to self worth, independence, they sure see safe landing ground for gullible women that's why they still do it.

AMIJEZ said...

They got busted. I read it on another blog yestday and i said to myself that aproko linda must post this.

Unknown said...

fake is fake lol






BORN TO SHINE!!!!

Anonymous said...

Very inaccurate

Anonymous said...

Hilarious stuff #Dr#

Unknown said...

Ok.

Bestman said...

Hmmmm....true though.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm true 2 sm extent....Mz

Anonymous said...

Very funny I swear down......#Tashar Smallz#

Unknown said...

Lol, this fake life thing is everywhere, Abuja, lag, Enugu, Ph etc. The fact is Nigerians love living fake lives and thanks to Instagram deres has been a relative increase in the number of fake pple all over d country.

Amaka.u.l said...

Hmmm,o!

Anonymous said...

That's true but u know most girls of nower day will like to date guys like that @fmicebox

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Thank God for my life!

Anonymous said...

Lol, babe u know dem well e be like u don fall victim b4, anyways u r right dat's all der quality. Der call der Uncle in ur presence n even but it on speaker so u will hear, bt d real guys won't even tell der ve such uncle u only get to with tym by mistake sf bcos der hustle on der own to be rich not living by der family.

Anonymous said...

Lol. Nice article

obietrezy said...

Go forbid why will i date a jobless girl for wetin nau .. Abeg i no fit try am, as long as I'm working she must be working too.. Very simple because no girl wants to date a jobless guy and that makes it 50-50.

Anonymous said...

Kai!!!! This life style is stressful oh. I no get that time.

ZeeZee said...

LOL noted... I go spot am when they come oooo

Anonymous said...

Who eva writes dese rubish is jst a vry jobless person! I'm not even a guy & can admit dat all writen here is rubish! I knw dem fake abj dudes in abj tho, but all dese shit writen here doesn't evven clasify dem. Kmt!

#tarilicious#

ABEE... said...

Quite funny, but true....Like minds attracts. Only a fake girl that can easily get attracted to a fake guy...

Anonymous said...

she is not even making sense. WTF??? Next!!!

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm!!!

~NDG~cimino~ said...

'stop' them if u can't 'spot' them period!

~NDG~cimino~

Dinma said...

No b small mata!!!

APPLE said...

Hehehehe…FAKE FAKE FAKE GUYS!

Euclid said...

Africans, spending money they don't have on things they don't need.

Anonymous said...

Not as derogatory as the FAB Babes. Justsaying

Anonymous said...

What a daft article.

Temi said...

OMD!!!!
This article describes one guy perfrcTly I can't mention his name... Te...
He drives an x6 (his moms) he doesn't have a job but is forever in Club Candy standing on the chairs with his versace sneakers, popping bottles with money he stole from his girlfriends, he has a strong yoru-americant accent and is always attache-ing to the children of political figures. Waste of life.

ponle said...

Fake people wit fake life living.... Ladies beware

comfort said...

#smiles#

Anonymous said...

Am in of relationship. Ladies add me. 25fc1101 or call 07030460455

Anonymous said...

I think this post is silly. Aren't we all fakers.

We know girls are materialistic and if every guy is real then only the politicians will be screwing all the girls in Nigeria.

If you live in a nice place in maitama and drive a flashy car and can afford to pop champagne in the club then you are in the game.

Anonymous said...

"Please, embrace your Nigerian accent, whether it is an Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa accent, be proud of it. You don’t see an American man trying to talk like a Nigerian."

I like this. I have been living in the UK since 1999 and I still speak like a Nigerian, although you cant pin my accent to a particular tribe. I don't want to speak in British accent, I love being REAL, I am 100% Naija.

Anonymous said...

D writer 4got to add dat dey squat alot . Leave in BQs and sublets with other fake guys . Lmao. Dis is tooo funny. Almost got used wen one told me bout his house rent ??? I was laughing in my head nd barred him from my life .

Debbie Chelsea said...

LoooooL

Anonymous said...

L_O_f***ing_l

NaNcY DreW said...

Will I seem like a show off if I say i knw dem cuz I really do knw dem and hell knw can't fall 4 em ass. I never like a guy who lives under deir parents shadow if u brag abt ur parents wealth dats an automatic turn off for me plus d fake accent is like no way I can't deal. Being oneself is ultimate. Dey shudnt be called FABB dey shud be called LOSERs guys and babes.

Anonymous said...

Linda your post makes no sense. Honestly there are way more fake girls and coperate/packaged prostitutes in Abuja.

Anonymous said...

Linda your post makes no sense. Honestly there are way more fake girls and coperate/packaged prostitutes in Abuja.

Presh said...

Lol who are we gonna ask?

Anonymous said...

Guilty conscience?

Unknown said...

Hahahahahahaha..

Anonymous said...

Lolzzzz........cnt stop laughin
ayomideomotuyi@gmail

my diva concepts said...

Nice one chinny

ChincoBee said...

Lol pple must impress...But the one for the females was deep menh.....

Unknown said...

What wrong with this small boy!how dare you mention our Bonario a whole CEO.please take your time oo!i used to support yyou b4 but on this on...NAH

Anonymous said...

Dis Chinenye Ugonna babe is complete bush gal.

Chyluv! said...

there r so many fake guys in benin n lagos. Worse off, they Deceive girls into thinking they r comfortable, but they will borrow money 4 recharge card n fuel. Idiots!

Anonymous said...

Why are you so pained? Is this your m.o?

Unknown said...

The article is so wack. If u want to be recognized please write a piece that actually represents facts. U shud never hold a pen again after putting this up

Mereze said...

Na wash *In Eldee's voice*

Chop Chop said...

True to some extent but isn't that what girls like until ......

Anonymous said...

so is bizzle osikoya a fake big boy

Anonymous said...

Lol,no wonder onyx listed u as one of them loool

Nusitech said...

How can he be fake when he comes from a rich family? He is wealthy by association. There is no poor man from a rich family. olodo!

Roymorgan said...

Linda haba u didn't try @all u just exposed all our secrets dnt worry there's always a plan_B****

Unknown said...

Lol,i hv met several. 1 actually said his GEJ frds son (his father is also GEJ's aid)
He told me hw he liked yogoberry but we can't go out coz of his father's position. Lol we can only chill in a hotel....lmao(he didn't even hv a hus or can't take me 2 his hus)

Anonymous said...

LINDA YOU DON BE VICTIM BEFORE?

mobola said...

Some points here are off oooooooo. So how do u spot the RABB R asin Real. if they drive a car dat is not borrowed from their friends or rented dats not fake to me. my papa borrow me is better dan i rent am atleast i know you come from wealth, if they live in a decent house with family rather than in 1 dirty bq with 6 other guys thats fucking real to me and if that house is in maitama, wuse 2, gwarinpa, Asokoro or any of the other cool places then you know thats some real ass money whether old or new. Being a mummy's boy dats not even a point every abj big boy is a mummy's boy no matter how biggggg dey are you still hear them running errands for mummy rada dan those dat their family members are in some villa hustling and he is in abj with sugar mummy lyng dat he is working. DO NOT BE DECEIVED. The RABG knows how to spot hungry fake ass "abuja" "big" boy.

Anonymous said...

Tatafo ask Kim what her talent is too. He's making money off bored abuja corporate and private individuals. Boo find a brand and sell too if body too bite u.
Btw I don't like mike onoja too esp his ugly teeth buh please mind ya biz

Anonymous said...

i do agree with all that was said but lets ask this how will u know a lagos hungry girl that is willing to fuck both poor and rich

Unknown said...

Most men in married men in abuja are married but living single...they will leave their family in another state then come to abuja to hussule u will think u are dating a single guy without knowing he already has kids

Anonymous said...

Mahmoud Bala Alfa...typical example right there..yes i said so, sue me
*dropsmicandwalksaway*

Unknown said...

Forgot to add that some of them are billionaires already and 8 out of 10 will end up in the ruling class.stop hating bitch,work harder.no be our fault o

Dee said...

Go and make your money and stop depending on men. Bastard

Anonymous said...

YES PLEASE WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT ONOJA DELPHINO ENTERTAINMENT DOES!!! HE CERTAINLY IS A FABB,ALWAYS SEEN WITH THOSE WORKING CLASS CHICS. PROUD ASS PUNK WITH HIS UGLY ASS SCATTERED TEETH

MY TURN said...

reminds me of ADEMOLA ADEWUNMI TALL, DARK,BIG-NOSE went to OAU. I hear he married some girl in Zenith Bank and he's still chasing women every where.

Anonymous said...

Ngwa tell us

Anonymous said...

Abuja is a very expensive state to live in.we need the fake life to survive.pls bear with us linda

yawanow said...

all that glitters isn't gold.
ya ya we know but it's not bad to flaunt parents wealth, left for the ladies not to get carried away by efizzy.

Anonymous said...

Go church go do wetin? Go give sweat to pastor abi? Looser

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