See the questions asked in a Church questionnaire...lol | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Friday 10 April 2015

See the questions asked in a Church questionnaire...lol

Some of the questions asked - Are you a virgin? Who dis-virgined you first - friend or relative? Do you masturbate? Have you had sex with close relations? Lol. And some people will answer them?


114 comments:

Iam_Blaise said...

Which church be this

WeALTHY ChIC said...

It is MFM deliverance form.

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Funny enough all this holy holy people are guilty of all this questions!

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Funny enough all this holy holy people are guilty of all this questions!

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm.....mouth sealed......

Unknown said...

DEEPER LIFE!!
.
.
.
.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..

obiora said...

It's not new.

Unknown said...

Lolzzzzzzzz, dat question 40 got me in btw. Dis must b joke of d century. Is dis for real or wht? Indeed our present church has turned to ABC - Attendance, Building, and Cash.

MADE IN NIGERIA said...

Rubbish....what sort of church is dat?

Blog It With Olivia said...

Lolz
If I hear I go ans such questions
Its my life αи∂ that makes it my business not theirs

Unknown said...

Each church has its own doctrine and style of conducting marriages , but I feel those questions are unnecessary.

Anonymous said...

very funny

Davido's driver said...

Lol celestial church sef

Blackgold said...

Nothing to show that it's a church questionnaire. SMFH

Anonymous said...

Nosey ass church! ewww

Anonymous said...

lol! sometimes i Concur with such! i have seen dis paper for real. i think the issue is to identify where ur problems starts or where it rests. so that prayers and solution to ur problem may be targeted! after all some people pray ceaselessly without knowing the root of their problem. And they will blame God for not answering their tireless fasting and prayers. But its funny though.

Unknown said...

Lol! They left out some questions as well like...
1. What were you in your former world?
2. Have you looked at someone suggestivrly before? If yes why and where? Did you make the move afterwards?
3.Have u been yo syria before? Do u know of ISIS? Have u joined them at any time?

Yeye church

Unknown said...

What sort questions are this?
Abeg what church?

Afis Oseni - A1 Concept said...

You go fear question


What You Should Change When The Change Is Not Coming
http://showfaze.blogspot.com/2015/04/what-you-should-change-when-change-is.html?m=1

Unknown said...

Linda, not all questions are meant to be answered !











(BALKAN)

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Catholic till i die.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Anonymous said...

Okokobioko, how can a church ask such questions. So what if my answers to all those questions are Yes what then?

Unknown said...

verrt funny

INK_HER said...

Is this really necessary??

Unknown said...

Na wa ooo

chocolate said...

Lol very funny

Anonymous said...

Wonders shall never cease to happen....Karma exisits...

Unknown said...

Lol....

APPLELIPX said...

So the church even knows what grinding is??
What exactly is this inclusive for

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Funny...

Anonymous said...

Chai! Chim oooo !!! ��������������

Unknown said...

Acting God when they are not.

Zamani said...

Who sent this to you is even more dumb

Rellaidiovo.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Are these questionnaires for admission into the believers class?

Unknown said...

I wonder why any1 will want 2 answer such questions. Of wat use will it be 2 the church? What Genre of music is ur favorite...BOB..........Lmao!

Anonymous said...

wtf?????????? Unbelievable!


B.

Unknown said...

Linda,why wont the answer the questions?We should all fight the moral decedance in our society.

Unknown said...

Shey the church wan take judgement into their own hands ni...funny

Anonymous said...

Mountain and Fire deliverance things...hehehe

Anonymous said...

Yes they will because there is a spiritual consequence for everything. I know you need to blog but go easy on things you do not understand:)

Unknown said...

Wetin we no go see???

Bonita Bislam said...

Lmao
I hope the pastor is the first to fill the questionnaire

Kponskii said...

Lol! And they expect whoever is filling this form to tick yes?

Anonymous said...

I WILL ANS SOME QUESTIONS AS "PERSONAL"..TOMJERRYSWIT

Unknown said...

Lol,, with the rate @ which people love their church and blindly do what ever they say 99% would answer

Unknown said...

Lol,, with the rate @ which people love their church and blindly do what ever they say 99% would answer

Anonymous said...

Mountain of fire ...oya y?

Unknown said...

The should answer accordingly so that they can set their conscience free.Anyway,what has church got to do with this?

Unknown said...

Some psychological ish that will come in handy when the Church decides to manipulate its members.
FUCK!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

Funny indeed..

Unknown said...

Mountain of Fire Deliverance prayer form. I have been there so am familiar with those questions.

Unknown said...

Hmmm...sis Linda ibikwa ozo..


***Dahenriez***

**

Idyllic Prince said...

This is to know where to start delivering you
~Idyllic has spoken~

Unknown said...

Which church be dat.... I doubt it's naija

Anonymous said...

hi linda,i know you find the questions to be funny, but it was a questionnaire distributed to teenagers to answer during a teen conference held in my church recently.as funny as the questions might sound, it will amaze you to know the number of teenagers that are actually battling from the memory of this experience, and were glad to have someone to talk to.

Unknown said...

Looooool....Guess it's either Dipper life church or MFM dat made dat form.

snowflix said...

Lol. Very funny #onelovefromsnow#

Anonymous said...

This poster went for deliverance. You know what you told them before they gave you that questionnaire so as to be able to know how to guide you and help you. They didn't bring it to your house or called you to collect. You went to them for deliverance. Is this why you left your house for deliverance? If you can't cope, pls leave the place and stop deceiving yourself.
Stop coming here to deceive Linda to believe you were forced to do anything. Tell her why you went there and the reasons for those questions.
Hypocrisy is evil!!!

Unknown said...

Dis is serus

yawanow said...

Wth!!! What rubbish.

Anonymous said...

Na Oyedepo be dis? Or Na redeem or deeper hypocrites?

Boladale emvicc2000@yahoo.com said...

I did not see anything wrong in these questions. The questions are for counseling purpose, some children are abused but could not talk to their parent, through this method, they are identified and counseled.

optimisticlady said...

This questionnaire is filled with disgusting questions.perverts calling themselves pastors.

Anonymous said...

lmao....this is mountain of fire o. i was given this too the day i and my friend went for their three days fasting and prayer. the questions are really personal but useful to pursue demons if any

Unknown said...

What is the essence of all this questions?...will you be chased out of church if you mark that you have done all this things?

Anonymous said...

haba linda @kissing, smushing and grinding.... lol

Anonymous said...

Linda,the questionnaire is not out of context.our teenagers and youths are perishing because all the parental institutions, peer group institutions,schools and churches that supposed to teach them basics and sex education have all failed.Children of nowadays code everything that concerns them,some date men that are older than their parents,engaged in series of animalistic instincts and habits.how do we address this except through a medium like questionnaire else physical interview will yield nothing.A word is enof for the wise.

Anonymous said...

Mountain of Fire,have answered it before

Zikman said...

40. Do you enjoy kissing, smushing and grinding?
Linda Answer pls.... Lmao!
Na wa this questionnaire!!!

Anonymous said...

Orisirishi....

temma said...

Dis is MFM deliverance question.....hahahahahaha me I answered ohh

doris27 said...

How do u knw it's a Church questionnaire? Mmm Aunty Linda.

Unknown said...

Question for d gods

Unknown said...

Very funny questions

Unknown said...

Gyration church. Abeg go check out naijacarlovers.blogspot.com.

Anonymous said...

Yes Linda d questions av to be answered cos dey r for deliverance purposes. U might not understand as much as a circular person.

Beautiful butterfly said...

Laugh wan kill me die

opustjkwrites.blogspot.com said...

please which church? n wht is d questionaire for
?


ITOHAN

He looked at her sleeping form, and his mind was made up. He picked up his phone and dialed a number. The voice at the other end, had been expecting his call. Three minutes later, all the arrangements had been made, and he joined her in bed.

The next morning, Itohan woke up and couldn’t find Usiosefe. She was alarmed, considering the discussion they had before going to bed last night.
She got up, and went outside only to meet him coming into the compound, with a smile on his face. She felt lighter, maybe everything would be fine after all.


“You are awake, good. I bought us breakfast” he said to her. She took the nylon bag from him, and peered into it. She smiled, he had gotten akara and pap. Her favourite breakfast, she went in with him. He didn’t even let her boil the water for the pap. He told her he wanted to make breakfast for her.



Usiosefe sat down, and watched Nosa inspect a small locally made pistol which he had brought out of a bag.
 “Efe are you sure you want to do this, I am giving you another chance to pull out because of our past relationship" continue reading

Unknown said...

Na wa oh!

Jesus Reigns said...

Do you enjoy kissing, smooching and grinding???????? Lol oh yes I do, cos am married Yippeeeeee

Unknown said...

End time

Shinelle said...

Such questionnaires reveal d level of moral decadence in our society. .

Well, i believe ur name isn't required. . .

Lukman said...

Linda, if you can answer those questions, you will make my day!

Unknown said...

Is it a marriage counselling class.....The questions are too extreme jor...

Gdmoi Linda nd Libers....Do av a blessed weekend


Moye says so via BB Passport...Courtesy LIB....

Anonymous said...

It may not necesarrily b a church....linda..there are organisations dat deal with sexual abused pple...this may b one of them

Unknown said...

Arrant nonsenses!!!

Anonymous said...

Asin ehen! So what are they going to use the answers for? I'm female and a man of God asked me such questions sometime ago because he was trying to match-make me for a senior pastor or a church member. Are they meant to pass judgement or what?

Anonymous said...

linda if u really go school and you did you project yourself and may be master too, you should know that any social researcher can use churce as a case study. is not the church that is given this out, it was a researcher. those questions are normal for a social research, depending on what the researcher is trying to bring out of it. so you dont have to display your ignorant. and you dont have to every opportunity to insult the church of God. remember, the fear of God is very very important. Have follow you kinly expecially this period of election, you were too carried away without the fear of God, attacking the churces and the men of God. you need to becareful when it get to the things of God,not because you want to keep people glue to your blogg bcos of money and post rubish without sense. becarefull, if not God's judgement will visit you. if you like take the advise.

Unknown said...

Madness...



#TeamBlessed#

Unknown said...

Lol, wetin person no go see?

Unknown said...

Still can't believe it

Unknown said...

Vry funny n nasty question

Unknown said...

Vry funny n nasty question

Unknown said...

Lmao....probably a case study for a project.

Anonymous said...

Shut up. What God? You think you know God and you are His appointed defender? Pretender!

Anonymous said...

Linda u have not posted my comment oo!Am waiting sha!

Anonymous said...

@anon 10:54 ur such a narrow minded fool

Thatigbobabe(Lilyflower) said...

Buhahahahaha

Unknown said...

Na Konji dey worry person wey set this questions. That oerson has a perverted mind!

Unknown said...

Lol! Maybe it's 4 dem 2 know d area 2 specialise on wen d deliverance starts.

Anonymous said...

The questions are not bad at all. The 'BUT" that I see there is that of WHERE were the questions asked? WHO asked them? for what PURPOSE?

Meanwhile, most of the questions are not good for documentation. They might just be asked for specific reasons orally by counsellors who are called or professionals and for the sake of a child that has reasons to address such issues.

E.g if a child that was once sexually abused has gotten over that and he or she is living his or her normal life, why bring back the stinking painful memories na? So the questions must be OBJECTIVE rather than being for questionnaire or general documentation.

Juleslouis said...

Which type of yeye church is this? How does another person;s intimate life affect them sef. I bet that questionnaire is for couples who r seeking their approval for a wedding date. Ridiculousness!

Celine Oma said...

Na dis kin questionnaire person go answer, answer provoke for pastor head. Lol wat's with all d personal stuff?



#linda's apprentice says

Anonymous said...

You get plenty sense. Thumbs up

Juleslouis said...

Which type of yeye church is this? How does another person;s intimate life affect them sef. I bet that questionnaire is for couples who r seeking their approval for a wedding date. Ridiculousness!

Unknown said...

Thats mountain of fire deliverance question

Anonymous said...

Kai, odikwa risky !!

BOBBY BLESSING said...

WHAT DA? I AINT GONNA ANSWER THAT? DA HELL?

Anonymous said...

Bush Igbo girl, so what will you do with the name of the church???

Anonymous said...

Your madness was imported, exported then deported into your empty skull. Park well, ignoramus.

Jennifer said...

Looks like Redeem questionaire for couples before they get married,I actually saw an aunt's own, lots of bizarre questions.lol

Anonymous said...

Mountain of Fire deliverance form

Unknown said...

Please, lets know the name of the church

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