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Friday, 26 December 2014

Dear LIB readers: My boyfriend never wants to set eyes on his mum

From a LIB reader
My boyfriend's parents separated 15 years ago and according to him, his mother left him and his brother with their father who along with his new wife maltreated them so much and that all through the years, his mother did not come looking for them. Now that he is all grown up, he says he will never forgive his mother and cannot spend his dime on her and does not want to even set eyes on her. I believe forgiveness is a virtue. Should I be scared and run away because I fear such a man who cannot forgive his own mother may never forgive me as well if I wrong him. Should I really be scared?

184 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haba........

D J STELCH said...

They Are the Softest typa man out there.. He needs to heal dear, stand by him.. He will Forgive with time but not soooo easy though...

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.Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..

Anonymous said...


I think you should really be worried. However, instead of running away, try to get him reconciled with his mother.

kate Isangha said...

Talk to him

ALLY BERRY said...

Well it's not ur business if he won't forgive his mum, all u have to do is plead with him to forgive her. He's obviously not a strong xtian cos if he his he would understand the importance of forgiveness, cos it means whatever prayer he renders to God is useless...

Promiseskept said...

Yes, you should really be scared, you should really run away and not look back.

Orakweogu Lilian said...

Don't be scared my dear

Crystal said...

Maybe that's why you r a part of his life, to help make peace between him and his mum. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do but trust me, u have sooo much peace when u forgive genuinely from d heart

destinysweet said...

Run for ur life!!!!!!!!!

Auntylindagoddaughter

Kingsley Bassey said...

Yes o run as fast as Ur leg's can carry u, for me I don't ve anything to do with a divorce children. #THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

ALLY BERRY said...

Plus is it just me or has anyone else noticed that since the inception of LIB giveaway almost everyone now comments with a name, very few anonymous...... including me though...LOL

Cute G said...

Follow ur heart.

glowy sofiscated said...

Pls pack ur shoes nd run...such a man will hv d hrt to kill.

Visit my blog

www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

abisoye ologbenla said...

Abegi

Dudumide said...

Blood is thicker! d guy shld think again

Orakweogu Lilian said...

My dear see don't run away ok my be God want to use u in that family just keep praying for God to touch his heart so dat he will have the spirit of forgiveness and you should all so try an talk to him in a sexy way so that he will not shout at you ok .

tyokever joy said...

With time he will get over it

Bolateetoh said...

Tk it to God in prayer.

lord flacko said...

My dear, beyonce hasn't forgiven her dad for cheating on her mum but she was able to forgive jay z for doing the same(yes he cheated). The issue of relationships with parents and spouses are very different cases.

THE LORD HAS SPOKEN

Okoro said...

Arrange an unexpected meeting between them both... eye to eye

Bonita Bislam said...

Hmm this your guy sounds too rigid o.life without forgiveness is vain.offend him and see how he reacts 1st.His reaction should tell you what to do

christie benjamin said...

Try your possible best to convince him and leave the rest to God....and make no mistake to become an enemy of your mother in law....
¤
¤¤¤GUTS OVER FEAR¤¤¤
¤
¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤

Peejay said...

Be very scared but let your fear lead you to prayer. If you truly love him, keep praying that God will melt his heart. Also, keep speaking to him about forgiveness and how grudges keep us from growing and attaining our destined greatness. Its won't be easy to forgive and forget such childhood trauma but with patience and your love, he will get there.

The woman might be somewhere living her life in bliss, and here he is languishing in hate and unforgiveness. He will remain in that emotionally dark place until he lets go.

Besides, what kind of role model will he be to his future son if he has an unforgiving heart? He could inadvertently teach him not to love you, his mother.

My 2 cents.

Dahenriez said...

Well,i think you should still talk to him.

tyokever joy said...

Oh, and about the forgiveness part a man who dsnt love his mother is scary I will say. He has to forgive his mother if she is sorry, plus there must be a reasonable explanation why she left. Talk him, tell him it bothers you, and it might affect your relationship. Good luck

Anonymous said...

My dear, theres no need to be dramatic because that is what you are acting right now. I guess your mum was there for you thats why you wouldn't understand us who our mothers were not died but there were not there! Can you imagine what its like to know your mum is alive and she was not there when you needed her?! Birthdays?graduations?mother's day? Instead of running when he needs you, that is when you should be there for him, thats what my partner did for me. You don't know what it takes to resent someone esp when you know deep down you love them no matter what! Please be there for him and talk him through forgiving, its not easy! I was in those same shoes!

Anonymous said...

Linda we've been waiting to see pictures of you and the giveaway people ooo . When will you post it?

ary said...

Unless you have plans to hurt him too! What he is dealing with is emotional scars and abandonment issues! But I have never heard of a woman who left her kids and never looked back, that says a lot about your mother in law to be. Try to help him heal and with time he might forgive his mother, it might not happen today, just give him time!

Anonymous said...

Too bad .Bigjoe said so

Ruth Roland said...

Hmm complicated,I'd jus say pray n keep talking to him. He might not know the real story yet.

jimoh ayuba said...

Don't be scared,jus be careful and u are the only one that can change him...........................don't stop,keep trying#

MB.C. DORIS said...

Dear poster, I should advise you use your discretion. Your assertion about him holding a grudge against you for too long in the proximate future is not totally wrong. However, YOU can give him a reason to forgive easily. I didn't see the possibility of that in my own case, so I called a spade a spade, and for GOOD, too!

ONYX GODWIN said...

Ask beyonce n solange.....

JESS JESS JESSY said...

Don't be scared... U ain't his mum n what she did actually hurts. Just pray for him

buki bookey said...

No jor....hez probably jst hurting....

kenneth jochiedozie said...

Are you planning to make him go through the pain his mother made him pass through? if you are not then you have nothing to be scared of.

Iyere said...

how dat one wan mk Watford win Wolverhampton

berryblast said...

Yes dear, u should be very afraid, it simply means he finds it very difficult to forgive.

Henry Eze said...

Be scared bcos u are living being.... But learn to forgive

Henry Eze said...

Be scared bcos u are living being.... But learn to forgive

Kingsley Bassey said...

I couldn't reply that B*tch call herself (EVER YOUNG) on the former post about a woman bitten her child up in Calabar, u says if is not calabar wickedness is AKWA IBOM witchcraft, u re as stupid as Ur comments, Ur whore of a mother didn't tell u were u from that's why u can open that gutter u call mouth to talk rubbish, basterd (TRAM) like u.# THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

kenneth jochiedozie said...

Are you planning to make him suffer like his mom did? Except you have such an agender in mind which i believe you don't, then i believe you have nothing to fear .

Anonymous said...

D guy may not tell u all that has happened to him while growing up bt i'm sure he has his reasons. I suggest u tk a step at a time. U need to work on him bt it will tk time for him to mk up his mind. U don't need to be scared cos dat does not mean dat he won't forgv u wen u wrong him bt it's simply means u shld not stab him at d exact place d mum did. No one can easily sweep such thing under d carpet

First Class said...

Except if he didnt suck his mother's breast. If he did, if his mother woke up at midnight stayed up all night cos of him, if his mom ran around for him when he was a toddler, if his mom taught him his first words, then your boyfriend can go to hell! He had better ask his dad his the policies he gave and why he moved on too soon. Money that will finish. Keep it to yous stinking self bro!

chimmy onyewuchi said...

Talk to him about forgiving his mother.then if he still do not listen I guess you should be scared.

Anonymous said...

He may be a bit too bitter towards his mother, but if you think you can do like his mother to your children, then please leave him alone. Some mothers aren't worth that title! Pains inflictedon kids at tender ages remould the future individaul to unimaginable dimensions.

@lwkmd_naija - follow on instagram/twitter said...

Don't ask us, ask your pastor


@lwkmd_naija

Lovely mee said...

He's still angry that's why its difficult to forgive her, if you're a christian you can start taking him through scriptures that deal with forgiveness and unforgiveness and watch how he reacts to them, then you'll know if you should be scared or not

SalmaLena said...

The pain...maltreatment is very bad...as you said he just unhappy on the way his mum left...men look up to their mother or wife for comfort and safety...since he had none it will be difficult.
I don't think that will affect your relationship with him...talk to him carefully and tell him to let go

hauwa aberi said...

#sigh.nawao....waiting for comments.

carlos iyke said...

You should have known his character by now. He might act differently to you. Unless you have some skeleton in ur cupboard
$.
$.
@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone

Sugarvie said...

No do not run away frm him. U can mellow his heart overtime. U dnt knw what he had to paSs through then so pls dnt judge him so quickly. Just pls take ur time with him and pray for him too.. #VIE's OPINION#

BUGATTI said...

Don't run away.you can talk to him and make him see reasons why he shouldn't behave in such way.he should hear his mum story before concluding.i have been in such situation b4 but I learnt my dad kept my mum away from us so I learnt to forgive her.

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Beautiful Girl said...

No. Don't be scared. He needs to forgive her though cos God won't forgive his too if he doesn't forgive. After that he can decide to keep in touch with her or not.

Rex Duke said...

There is no reason for you to be scared, he has every reason to be angry cos he has lost precious years of his live without the love of his mother and you wont understand what that means. All you shud do is stick with him and try make him see reasons why he should try n forgive his mom instead of you trying to point out to him that he has no right to be angry with his mom... Parenting is the hardest job anyone can engage in and not everyone will definitely be good at it...just maybe his mom falls under d category of the terrible ones which is not completely her fault, she also may have good reasons why she acted the way she did but at the end of the day, they shud both realize that they've both missed out in their lives and forgiveness is the only way forward.

emy zeal said...

Better run from him if the reason is like a shadow...mama na mama Good or worse**EMZEALLOUS**

philsss said...

whats ur biz wit his personal affairs n family matters

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The perfect world is a world without religion

oyakhilome eroms said...

If you're scared, then you are too weak to change a situation. He's most likely gonna make a good partner to someone ready to face the challenge

Mz steph said...

Would just read comments

Anonymous said...

Okay.... i was passing by and i couldn't help but see this and put my amebo mouth but heres what i think

DISCLAIMER: this advice is based on my life experiences so far as a a woman and to an extent as a doctor i have taken a couple of psychology classes and i know a thing or two or i like to think so ( note that this advice is unlicensed)

The first thing i have to say is that from reading this message you don't really understand how your boyfriend feels . Your husband is processing and psychologically this can be explained

He is expected to get Feelings of abandonment and he is meant to try to push away. Deep down your husband is wondering what he did wrong to make his mother leave him.... You have to understand that your husband went through a lot of emotinal times in his childhood and such a child is bound to exhibit any of the folowwing physical ailments i.e drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, depression, creativity, anger, grief.
it is not unusal for such persons to exhibit any of these symptoms. if this child goes on in life having to not live without his mother and of the options below had happened to them ( him your bf)
--Lack of appropriate supervision
--Inadequate provision of nutrition and meals
--Inadequate clothing, housing, heat, or shelter
--Physical and/or sexual abuse
Then i would advice that you do not destroy your relationship with your man over an inner battle that he is nowhere close to solving .....look the most you can do is urge him to but you have to respect your partners decision that is if you are in a sound healthy relashionship which i would hope you are
The mind of each and every individual has its own processing and thinking pattern .... i do not believe you have any cause to be afraid

As for your bf he has problems of his own and it seems like he thinks he can go through it alone. The average Nigerian man would never dream of spending money on a therapist so that definitely would not work for you. I can advice that you pray on it ask God to touch his heart if you can try bringing it up with your marriage councillor at church.... but you have to be careful when doing that, just make sure he knows you're concerned and you the last thing you would want him to do in life is have any regrets. So keep hoping for the best but always remeber to respect his decision

I hope i was able to help
yours sincerely,
Dr williams.

Anonymous said...

Dont be scared dear... I went through the same thing with my mother.
Its not your boyfriends fault, he needs time to get around it in which he eveentually will.
it is an exceptionally difficult thing to go through... just leave him, let him heal in his own way. doesnt mean hes a bad person also remember that not only that he hasnt spooken to his mother he also has no relationship with her and hes detached from her for years which isnt his fault.
give him time and pray for him!!!

Caesar Alex-Daras said...

Nne talk to him or run four forty cost u r spot on!!

Anonymous said...

You should be scared! But, he a heart that can love can forgive. So...be prayerful. Ps you know all this naija stories, his dad may have sent her packing n lied to him or something

theresa urateh said...

Question 4d gods

folakemi atinuke said...

Follow ur heart

APPLELIPX said...

Hw much do u want to wrong him to warrant dat???

U probably have no idea wat children pass tru frm stepmothers
His mother was very hrtless to leave them n neva checking on dem

I know a lot of women who would tolerate n endure a miserable marriage jst for d sake of d kids..... dnt judge him by this.... he is just an adult wth one of those vry bad childhood experiences

jumoke shonekan said...

U shouldn't be scared,u don't know what d mother has done terribly for him.But just be prayerful n try talkn to him in d time dat u know he can listen u know at times such talks like dat need d very appropriate time.

Akindele olamide said...

Such is life. He knws wah is best 4 him. And u 2 should knw wat is best 4 u

charm blue said...

Dis is a big case. Well all he needs is Jesus.

Freddie said...

My dear you sure need to be scared because someone like that can kill. I always tell people to think twice when people beg for forgiveness or offend us.if Jesus didn't forgive us, the world would have been empty .Please think deep

Musa Minah said...

Hmmm... I agree with you that he has to forgive his mother. Paradise is in the heels of a mother, according to Islamic teachings. So your bf has to try with all the courage he has to forgive her. Well... as for you, its natural that you fear and i think you are right in one way and the other that he could do you same. But am not sure if it truely defines who he is (being the unforgiving one). He is simply still hurting.

cynthia favor said...

He should first of all know what happen between dem before saying dat he can't forgive his mum,for u u are on ur own.

Anonymous said...

Run and run very far

Jules Louis said...

Don't be scared ϑε̲ãr. Keep trying to make him see reasons why he should forgive his mom. Atleast he should see her and hear her own side of the story. A mother don't just forget her children something must have happened. He should seek answers from his mom first before deciding on whether to forgive or not. Above all forgiveness leaves u relieved. Keeping grudges or carrying baggages doesn't make one have a hundred percent peace of mind.

Anonymous said...

Run and Run very far

Anonymous said...

I would understand if it was a minor thing his mum did, but unless you experienced what he did you are wrong to assume that he is an unforgiving person. For a mother to abandon a child in their formative years....is one of the toughest things a child can ever forgive or forget. Rather than be selfish and think of yourself, be patient and try and encourage him to reconcile. If he is still kicking against him don't push it. Does he check all the other boxes, is he violent with you? Then leave him be!

Anonymous said...

my dear try as much as possible not to offend him..I know his type they hardly forgive..

Bibian Obunse said...

An unforgiving heart...u shld be scared

Yusuph said...

Run for your life dear.. Life is a race

David Uche said...

Dont be naive, his mother caused him psychological trauma, I wouldn't advise him to accept her into his life although he may forgive her if he chooses to... & ur question is literally senseless, unless u plan on causing him pain as his mum, then there's nothing to be afraid of..

Anonymous said...

My dear better run from such guy o cos datz d same way he will treat u if u offend him....I wish someone told me this before I got married.

Anonymous said...

Yes but talk to him to forget and forgive and he Need to hear her own side of the story

faith albert said...

U should be scared. And then again 4 a mother 2 abandon her children in the mercy of another woman deserves more than that

msnjoku@gmail.com said...

Yes. You should be afraid of such a man if you can't accept this his baggage and you don't think you can handle it.

Anonymous said...

Pls leave him his never going to forgive u if u offend him,!

Olapeju Oluwamuyiwa said...

OGA O...AKA..NEXT

chocolate said...

Hmmmm dnt b scared dear,he is bn traumatise, just tok to him and advice on forgiveness dats ol

Dauda Aliu said...

You are on a long thing.
Have you tried preaching to him have you have to us.




Blackberry gives you the best and make you forget the rest.
....................................
David (dave_gino)
»Commenting from my BLACKBERRY 9900«

Okey Christopher said...

Still waiting?

VIVIAN OGECHI said...

My dear u av no point asking such ques

akinwale victoria said...

hmmmmmm..... Well lf you truly love him and cherish your relationship Start praying For him, So that God can touch him. We are all human. You cant leave him becos of that ....One day u ll become a mother as well.

Subomi said...

Nah, relax, he'll come around

Sena Job said...

Dnt run away from him,stay with him and help him get over the hatred he abhors 4 his mum....

Anonymous said...

It's best to run my dear. You will never be happy with such a man.

gab2shoes said...

If u ask me, na who I go ask? No be my mouth u go hear sey, teacher mama mess for uzuko!
Gab2shoessaysso

Chop Chop said...

Your relationship with him means nothing if he can't forgive his own mother. Continue to counsel him otherwise don't oh....

Shina Shine said...

No, don't be scared
He need deliverance
Pray for him



#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

AKIN KUNLE said...

hmmm,he has a reason and i believe the reason according to what you said its justifiable

oge eme said...

This guy has suffered a lot and that's the reason he is the way he is.....
In my opinion....she should give him time to heal and only reassure him of her love....because a bit of him will always feel abandoned and maltreatment hence the insecurity.

Omoye Zenki Moye Brown said...

Yes U shud be scared......but U shud also try nd talk to him about forgiveness......... he doesnt av to be close to his mom...but he shud forgive nd let go.......









MERRY XMAS LIBERS

Odoh Jonathan said...

You should be scared

Amaka Faith said...

No what his mom did was wrong if i were in his shoes i will feel the same way

igwe Adaobi said...

His love for u and that of his mum is different. That doesn't mean he is wicked he is hurt due to the extent of love he has for his mother. And maybe he is angry because his mother even till now has not ask for forgiveness. Maybe wen she asks for it he will give. But to me it is not a thing of serious concern except u want to abandon him in the future and expect him to accept u bk and forgive

Sylvonce said...

No need to be scared. Am sure deep down, he stil has a soft spot for his mum wch he definitely wldnt admit. Do not pressure or preach to him about forgiveness cuz am sure he understands every syllable. Just give him time and try feel empathy rather than bin judgemental. No one wants to imagine bin abandoned, esp from parent.

Anonymous said...

Its none of your busness my friend and did he ask you to bring it on blog? Shege nyarinya
King of BoyZ

Anonymous said...

Its none of your busness my friend and did he ask you to bring it on blog? Shege nyarinya
King of BoyZ

Anonymous said...

Pls talk to him let him forgive his mum

Chikaodili Ndife said...

I understand your fear, but it may not be same considering the situation even though it's his mum

miss nice said...

U r not serious. Run away naa. Instead of you try to understand him u r making it about you. Ms chew

Anonymous said...

Lol.

IF YOU HAVE NT BEEN ON trueanonymousconfession.blogspot.com YOU ARE MISSING

Anonymous said...

You said boyfrined, did he say he wants to marry you? Why bother yourself? Na wa for some girls.

sajuwa seyi said...

U should understd d pain he went thru in d hands of his step mum, keep talkin to hin he will forge his mum one day n u dnt have to run away.

sajuwa seyi said...

U should understd d pain he went thru in d hands of his step mum, keep talkin to hin he will forgve his mum one day n u dnt have to run away.

Hinx said...

I genuinely don't think there is any reason for YOU to be scared. I have been hurt by my own Father also,and can't forgive what he did to me,but that isn't going to affect my own family when I get married.

INDIGENOUS LIB said...

Do u want to wrong him to that extent?

Hinx said...

I genuinely don't think there is any reason for YOU to be scared. I have been hurt by my own Father also,and can't forgive what he did to me,but that isn't going to affect my own family when I get married.

osujichijioke said...

You should be a woman now. Your boyfriend needs help from you. He needs to forgive and reconcile with the mother. It is your job to do that. Get to work and God will bless you. Goodluck.

jessica egolo said...

His heart is like stone and dat ain't

Lib Goddess said...

Yes u shud be scared!!!

snowflix said...

No you don't have to be scared. He just hated thee mum for abandoning them when they needed her the most. The truth is even when the wound heals the scars still remains. I feel for him it wasn't easy for him so all you need do is to love him and show him care. Don't be scared my lady God pass devil 'lol' #onelovefromSnow#

Anonymous said...

If u scared if he will ever forgiv u dt means u are preparing to be a cheat tomoro cos dts d only ofence

Peero said...

Yes u should be

lilyswt okafor said...

Y shud u wrong him?

chinenye070 said...

Keep advising him with instances. Am sure he will change his mind.

Lexytrendy said...

You won't blame him, he clearly grew up hating d mum 4 forsaking them. Ds kind of hatred is deep-rooted n will take divine intervention 4 him 2 forgive, It does not mean dat he is unforgiving generally

Anonymous said...

Linda, I heard you finally met Mr Aye Dee. Hehehehe! Husband don come be that oh! Abeg show us photos of your date with him! Lol!

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is your business with his family situation. Must Nigerian wives always poke their noses into their spouses family affairs? Ehn if you can't respect his decision not to see his mother leave him and go and look for the perfect man with no family issues. Stupid girl!

Dammy Grace said...

na him sabi

Butter Scotch said...

Sometimes, its not d offence dat hurts, its d person dat offended dt makes it hurt. If the person that brought him to this world can abandon him like that, it wud be really difficult for him. If it were to be any relative, he might nt take it too personal. I knw that feelin wen its ur blood dat sucks n friends r the ones always dere for u! U'll av no oda choice dan value ur friends more.

Temmi said...

Linda Soyinka has replied Obj for calling hin 'aparo connoisseur '. Its an interesting piece as u wud expect. Watch and pray, Watch and Prey. Dats d title, oya luk for it and knack us tori.

fausty Ibeneme said...

Show him love and make him understand that his mum did her best to see them but the dad any step mum wouldn't allow that. I believe no mum whatsoever forgets her child. Talk to him.

Butter Scotch said...

Sometimes, its not d offence dat hurts, its d person dat offended dt makes it hurt. If the person that brought him to this world can abandon him like that, it wud be really difficult for him. If it were to be any relative, he might nt take it too personal. I knw that feelin wen its ur blood dat sucks n friends r the ones always dere for u! U'll av no oda choice dan value ur friends more.

Obed Nwafor said...

Its painful but let him calm down and call her mother let them talk it over .He has just one mother in d world o.As for u if u truely love him talk to him about....UWA DI OMIMI AMA NDI ANA EZE.

Timi said...

You asking these question shows that you probably dont like him enough, cos if you do. I think these is not something to be up for public opinion. You dont know what he went tru growing up and you probably dont know the circumstances on which his mum left. So dont judge him and hold your man if you really love him.

sexy chizzy said...

He shares same heart with his mum.

Biminiflash Admin said...

www.biminiflash.com

Anonymous said...

Mumu so if other people's parents are separated they can't stay together? Grow up.

Debbie Chelsea said...

u dnt av talk.....next

Toronto Finest said...

Some mothers can make you offend God... thank you God for the kind of mother He gave me

Anonymous said...

Oh, you are so naive. Any man that wants to stay away from his mother does so for a reason. If a family member is toxic, it is always best to stay away from them. You do not know the intricate details of what she out him through.

Anonymous said...

Love love your comment!

Butter Scotch said...

Sometimes, its not d offence dat hurts, its d person dat offended dt makes it hurt. If the person that brought him to this world can abandon him like that, it wud be really difficult for him. If it were to be any relative, he might nt take it too personal. I knw that feelin wen its ur blood dat sucks n friends r the ones always dere for u! U'll av no oda choice dan value ur friends more.

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

It's not so easy, he's only hurt. Be by him n mk him see reasons y he shld forgive nlet go

ebonyz... said...

Just be careful

irabo bobby fera favor said...

Don't run away frm him always show him care nd love he'll 4give his mum wit time ok?

Anonymous said...

Oooh pls hv u put urself in the shoes of the boyfriend.do u expect him to just forgive immediately,haba,he's hurting seriously for God's sake....

lucky chukz said...

Talk Things over with him. Make him see reasons he should forgive. If he doesn't Change his mind, then you have to be very careful with him

Anonymous said...

May God forgive you. Some advice here are surely out of this world.

ella john said...

You are right.

john kennedy said...

pls do

Yemi Ijeoma said...

I agree with you DJ STELCH. MY DEAR KEEP TALKING TO HIM ABOUT FORGIVENESS PUT HIM IN PRAYERS. With time he'ld heal. No one can take d place of his mum but if he remains adamant my dear u shld flee. I stay away from people dat have d spirit of unforgiveness cos dey hurt d most and harm d most.

Richard Afon Yinkå Ray said...

U should be scared but don't leave him, i believe time heal wound. He'll forgive her eventually.

Tony Febryanto said...

I think she shouldn't do it.

Anonymous said...

If you had a good relationship with your mother, you will never understand. It is easy to preach forgiveness when you are not the one wwearing the shoes to know where it pinches. As it stands today, I am the only son and if my mother dies, I will not attend her funeral. And if I die, she dare not attend. With a mother like her, I dont need enemy. My life has been better after I disociatted mmyself from her. Not every woman is a mother.

Zoe said...

Linda it's true .We are waiting to see their faces.

Anonymous said...

Linda post it. Don't scam us.

Binta Kargbo said...

Oh no hun these are two competely different scenarios. I went through something similar so I can relate to him, Don't leave in a way you're his mother and girlfriend now. All you have to do is pray for him and show him a lot of love and affection. I believe with time everything will fall into place.

Sylvonce said...

..nd now dt uv replied? Pls check bc on ur comment, read again & let's really know who d "arrogant" one is. People shld stop attaching sentiments to ethics. Odiegwu!

nonso okoh said...

Hez probably too hurt to think of forgiveness. Its those who are softhearted that get hurt the most. All thru his childhood he was pained by the absence of his mother. Now hez grown he is even madder. His mum needs to appease him and show she is sorry den things can get improved. Yoy can orchestrate this if you want your man happier.



Nonso Okoh via SAMSUNG GALAXY SMART PHONE.

Wil iam said...

You just spoke my mind

marthajk said...

Blood is thicker Dan water. HIs thinking of d negative aspects of wat his mum did daz y is bin furious but wit time he will ve no choice dan to forgive. If God can forgive us who r we nt to forgive ur ability to stay put to him nd help him see reasons to forgive his mum is wat mks u a gud companion. Mother na mother

Anonymous said...

So children from divorced couples r not human beings, abi? It is ur type that run to marry pastors/reverends daughter only to end up with the biggest flirt in town. Mtchewwwww

Olukanni Ayodeji said...

Oh! That's part of what u came to do in His life, its ur business o, reconcillation is peace, forgiveness is for ur own good.

diamond berry said...

He needs to forgive,stick with him

Aminat Ibrahim said...

@akwa ibom boy, did u say u don't want anything 2 do with divorced children? Smh for u, so if u are in their shoes pple should run 4 u as well, u think it's by their making being in that position

Anonymous said...

Your just an akwa ibom goat...what on earth makes you feel you are better than a child from a divorced parents? I weep for your goat like mentality.

Anonymous said...

Kingsley moron

Chika Ezinne said...

Lolz, u no well, bt love d observation and sincerity, v a grt day,lolz

Anonymous said...

7 Signs He Loves You Even When He Is Not Saying It



3 Signs That You Should Call It Quit In A Relationship

marilyn okiwelu said...

I know How it's like when you grow up without your mum in your life, it's hell, you need to stand by him not thinking of running, it's going to take time for that part of his heart to heal,before he forgives his mum, if you love him, you will assist in making him come out of such trauma, he needs you now my dear.

Anonymous said...

I honestly think you should tell him how you feel about him not forgiving his mum ...i have the same issue ... i font hate my mum ...but i keep her at arms length .. people who dont have abusive parents will not understand that sometimes ...you stay away from them for your own sanity and protection...before you become them ...you assuming that he is not a forgiving person is presumptous ...and frankly speaking ...insensitive to his own suffering....has he treated you bad ....does he not forgive others ....until you have an abusve parent ...you dont know

Anonymous said...

I honestly think you should tell him how you feel about him not forgiving his mum ...i have the same issue ... i dont hate my mum ...but i keep her at arms length .. people who dont have abusive parents will not understand that sometimes ...you stay away from them for your own sanity and protection...before you become them ...you assuming that he is not a forgiving person is presumptous ...and frankly speaking ...insensitive to his own suffering....has he treated you bad ....does he not forgive others ....until you have an abusive parent ...you dont know

Sandra Diamond said...

Babe just take ur time to talk to him, but if he doesn't accept, pls find ur square root.

Anonymous said...

Girls are too selfish please...you dint even bother knowing how hurt he is,how sad he had been to say he wouldn't forgive...all that matters to you is you rubbish self,I say u get the hell out of his life and burn in hell you selfish bitch....he deserves better than you

Kelvin Jackson said...

I have stuff of that nature too and I will tell every woman who say she's ready to be with me before getting dip. Stay or you run is your choice.... I don't think you should be advice on that.

Akin Odunsi said...

It's none of your business lady, he is ur husband and you should like whatever he likes ... he can't just decide without seeing something, some mothers are like that so let it be like that and you should also not do what will make him get angry!

@gr8akin

uwagwu fidelis said...

Really it is painful for ones mother to abandon her children for another woman to take care of. However, her reasons could be a wise one if he would go and find out what really went wrong. I was in his situation some years back until I moved closer to my mum only to discover that it was for her own safety, or we would have lost her long ago. So tell your man to find out why his mother left the marriage. Secondly, no matter what, mother remains yours as long as she live. Best of luck.

uwagwu fidelis said...

Really it is painful for ones mother to abandon her children for another woman to take care of. However, her reasons could be a wise one if he would go and find out what really went wrong. I was in his situation some years back until I moved closer to my mum only to discover that it was for her own safety, or we would have lost her long ago. So tell your man to find out why his mother left the marriage. Secondly, no matter what, mother remains yours as long as she live. Best of luck.

uwagwu fidelis said...

Really it is painful for ones mother to abandon her children for another woman to take care of. However, her reasons could be a wise one if he would go and find out what really went wrong. I was in his situation some years back until I moved closer to my mum only to discover that it was for her own safety, or we would have lost her long ago. So tell your man to find out why his mother left the marriage. Secondly, no matter what, mother remains yours as long as she live. Best of luck.

uwagwu fidelis said...

Really it is painful for ones mother to abandon her children for another woman to take care of. However, her reasons could be a wise one if he would go and find out what really went wrong. I was in his situation some years back until I moved closer to my mum only to discover that it was for her own safety, or we would have lost her long ago. So tell your man to find out why his mother left the marriage. Secondly, no matter what, mother remains yours as long as she live. Best of luck.

Dinma Peace said...

Give him sometime dear. By the way, maybe the dad was the one that banned their mum from seeing them. I don't believe that a mother can abandon her children just like that.

Anonymous said...

Run, Run, Run for your life. I was married to a man who refused to forgive or speak to his younger sister over a minor disagreement that happened more than 10 years ago. I thought I will be able to bring about a reconciliation between them but rather was in a miserable marriage for over 3 years. Anytime we had a minor disagreement, I usually endure silent treatments which could last for a week or sometimes 3 weeks. I did everything I could to let him know his attitude was childish but rather than make it better, it got worse.
Right now he has not spoken to me in over a year and we lived in the same house for 5 months during which I went into Clinical depression, I had to move out before either of two things happen, kill him or kill myself. It's been over a year and still not even a hello from him and this was a man I did so much for. People like that needs divine intervention to change them. A man like that is filled with bitterness and anything you do while married to him will be misinterpreted and misread.
A word is enough for the wise

Anonymous said...

what offense do you want to offend him to top that. if you cheat on him, then maybe. As much as I do not judge him, that experience might have created a toxic heart, unforgiveness might be the least of your worries.

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