Etcetera comes for celebs who bleach in new article | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 25 October 2014

Etcetera comes for celebs who bleach in new article

If you're a celeb...and you bleach your skin...erm, this is for you! Hehe. But I feel what anyone wants to do with their body is their business...but read Etcetera's article below and tell us what you think...
The Association of Bleaching Celebrities of Nigeria wishes to use this medium to inform the public that the inexcusable attitude of some of its members to their fans has been brought to its attention. 
It has also been said that some members of this esteemed organisation have embarrassingly refused to shake hands with their fans and in some of these cases, the aggrieved fans are said to have been little kids. On behalf of all celebrity bleachers, we the ABNC kindly ask for your forgiveness. 
You loved us when we were black and we sincerely ask you not to love us any less even now that we are light skinned. We also want you guys to understand that we celebrities bleach our skin so that we can lighten up your screens so you will never have to increase the brightness and contrast of your TV anymore. You can ask our Nigerian movie producers why they prefer us light skinned actors. That being said, we also want to sound a note of warning to all celebrity bleachers. According to section 19 of our annually reviewed constitution, no bleacher operating within our ranks has any right whatsoever to disrespect his or her fans. Such unruly attitude should stop henceforth. Anyone culpable of this dastardly act will be severely dealt with according to what is stated in our constitution. We want to also use this medium to pass this vital information to the rest of the public and it will be in the interest of everyone to read the following very carefully.

The ABNC is the umbrella body of all celebrity bleachers and we are responsible for every bleaching celebrity you see on TV and on the streets. We will also like you to understand that no celebrity bleacher will intentionally snub or refuse to shake hands with his or her fans. A lot of these incidents have occurred as a result of stigmatisation of bleachers by the public. Nigerian celebrity bleachers especially have been unfairly criticised by the public for having black knuckles, white body and black yansh. Therefore, the unwillingness of celebrity bleachers to shake hands in public should be regarded as a silent protest over the bizarre treatment accorded bleachers in this country. They are humans and they deserve the rights to decide their skin or vein colours. Be it black, blue, red or rainbow, it is their choice and the public must accept and respect it. After all, if you are a very observant fan, you would have noticed that all light-skinned male celebrities always wear suits or long sleeve shirts and walk with their hands in their pockets. Walking with your hands in your pockets is prescribed by this distinguished organisation to all bleachers. In cases of bleaching gone wry, please note that celebrity bleachers don’t do all these because they want to be seen as fashionably sensitive or too cool to care. They do it to avoid that embarrassing moment when you discover that your pretty face celebrity has the hands of a local tye and dye merchant.

We hope that henceforth, whenever you see a light skinned celebrity with pocketed hands, you will save yourself the embarrassment and kindly let him be. A celebrity bleacher with bad bleaching experience is like a dog with rabies and no sane person messes with a rabies-infected dog. We implore you non-bleachers to be more sensitive to the plights of bleachers. To you male fans who love greeting women with a kiss on their cheeks, please be advised to keep your damn kisses to yourself whenever you see those light-skinned celebs who love tying scarves around their necks. It is not fair to expose someone’s multi-coloured neckline to the whole world because you want to prove that you can greet like an arab. And if you are a church usher who is fond of telling people to raise their hands up during worship, better stay the hell away from any light-skinned celebrity you see in church. Allow them to worship with their hands glued to their sides. We swear, you don’t want to see that armpit. Our sincere appreciation also goes to all men out there dating a celebrity bleacher, we commend your patience. You have stood by them knowing you can’t take them to the pool because of their black yansh. And when they forced you to take them against your will to the pool, you still had to endure the fact that they got into the swimming pool fully dressed in their leggings, T-shirts and stockings. May you be rewarded handsomely for your stoicism and perseverance. One quick advice though, inasmuch as you may love your bleached spouse and want to treat her to different types of adventure, it is paramount that you resist every pressure to take her to the beach.

Please listen to us very carefully; you have to protect her from bleachers allergies. They react to sea water like an ogbanje reacts to deliverance. And if you don’t want to be staring at your bleached spouse rolling and crying in agony on the beach sand, don’t let the sea water come in contact with her skin.

Nigerians, please stop judging us by the colour of our skin. We will never be ashamed to admit to the public that all light-skinned celebrities are bleachers because this same bleaching has made us the most preferred in Nollywood today. It has made our ladies more desirable and more noticeable by Nigerian men. It has also helped some of our colleagues who were straight up ugly become attractive. That is why our motto is, Show me a light-skinned celebrity who doesn’t bleach and I will show you a local dog that doesn’t eat shit.

95 comments:

Eugenia said...

This guy sha. I see truth in every of his word, but make him park well abeg.

Molurlah's MakeOver said...

This guy needs to chill

Anonymous said...

I'm just gonna let this pass...

agbonmwnare ilekhuoba said...

hahah tell them oh... they all want to look like kim k, beyonce and the likes, when beautiful women like, berry is there

ONYX GODWIN said...

If somebody feels they are more beautiful and comfortable being light skinned why should we bother ourselves? I respect other peoples choice, I'm dark skinned and love it cos it glows,she's dark but wanna be light to feel more beautiful, y shud i be bothered?? Etcetera there are more important issues to talk about in d celebrity world than what people decide to do with their own body.. This article is stale.. Respect other people decisions especially if it doesn't hurt others!

@MeetdrealEvans said...

Chai Ini Edo go paro o, just helping d association call sm names...

Bishop Dammy said...

You are the best God created ..black or white ..you are awesome! Don't re create yourself! 1 cor 6:20. BishopDammy#

Olumide David said...

Lmao ! but is it ABCN OR ABNC ?? Its either Linda is high on fanta this morning or Etcetera just forgot his rhymes. Nywayz , it got me laughing!

Bold Kid said...

You wan try sarcasm?? Loool

Anonymous said...

Lol.... Bleaching misery.

joy jin nwasoka said...

This man should go and sleep.

BlogThug/33005BBA said...

I wonder why girls bleach, they no longer love the natural African skin, and too many pageants promoting bleaching... come 2015 i'll be organising a pageant promoting dark beauties all over Nigeria, no light skinned girl will be allowed to participate... watch out!!!

Anonymous said...

Et Cetera! I so love this guy!

freeborn zina said...

Etcetera hmm well any were too much talk is too much overdoers is there.etcetera i love that ur motto as for bleachers bleaching is now common an a show of cutest an sexiest.a day is comming when black we be wipe out of the face of black continent because every one want to be fair or white etcetera i like u keep it up

Nnenne George said...

Etcetera, I really wanna know how much you make for not minding your own business...d whole thing is getting so irritating.<>

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Hehehehehe so funny and filled with bitter truth.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Nnenne George said...

Etcetera, I really wanna know how much you make for not minding your own business...d whole thing is getting so irritating.<>

glowy sofiscated said...

Etc is back again..but he actually makes lots of sense

Visit my blog

www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

ary said...

What paper does this guy write for anyways? He sure will bring them business, cos er body be rushing to know what he has to say.

STEPHENIE AY said...

Trash

STEPHENIE AY said...

So he's now saying all celebs bleach? It's a very big lie

Kanyinsola said...

This satire is on point!!! Lmao @ "They react to sea water like an ogbanje reacts to deliverance"

This guy would not stop looking for trouble ehn! Lmao!

Anonymous said...

wallahi, dis guy no get work

Bayode Akinola said...

Shake hands with their fans and in some of these cases, the aggrieved fans are said to have been
Sexy And Popular World Class Singer Beyonce Allege Topless Nude Photos Leak Online..

James Akintola said...

Seriously am amazed at the amount of women bleaching. Mtchew! black is beautiful. visit harkindeleallday.bogspot.com, Naija fast rising inspiration and how-to blog

James Akintola said...

Seriously am amazed at the amount of women bleaching. Mtchew! black is beautiful. visit harkindeleallday.bogspot.com, Naija fast rising inspiration and how-to blog

Debbie Chelsea said...

Lmfao....ETC my Man....lol @ black yanch

Gloriafines Okaiman said...

Hahahahahahhaha omG very funny. Etcetera be ready for their response.

Shina Shine said...

Hilarious....
This is funny, to all celebrity with white hand black Yansh this is for you.
Everything about bleacher is diff light green veins, white face, brown hand, black Yansh, soft dirty skin & smells like condemned milk. Smellos

BORN TO SHINE!!!

taibat hassan said...

If anyone wants to bleach,tone,Lighten up...it is not body's business,men are hypocrites they criticize women that bleach but at the same damn time they find them sexually appealing...ugh!

Anonymous said...

etcetera oga i beg ur own don dey too much...oga u go gat plenty enemies..oo...if u like no go release good music dey there dey write to solve societal problems wey u no fit solve...lol....

Anonymous said...

Etcetera, abeg go sit for ground. Attention seeker!

christie benjamin said...

THIS GUY SELF. WCH MUSIC DID HE DO SELF??? JUST ASKING O *****QUEENMAYA*****

Anonymous said...

Omg!!! " dey react to sea water like an ogbanje reacts to deliverance " loooool. Dude has a way wit words mehn

christie benjamin said...

THIS GUY SELF. WCH MUSIC DID HE DO SELF??? JUST ASKING O *****QUEENMAYA*****

M.Blac said...

Dry...but still people, love yourselves.

Anonymous said...

lwkmd

christie benjamin said...

The black nyash he wrote there was he referring to tiwa ???? Just asking* *****QUEENMAYA*****

Noblism said...

Dis guy is definitely looking for trouble but he is madly funny tho

Anonymous said...

Bleaching isn't good for anybody both celeb & non-celeb, male or female, young or old. Let's appreciate the wonderful colour God endowed us with. The celebs should emulate Linda Ikeji, irrespective of her class she still maintain her chocolate colour.

LIB ADDICT!

Anonymous said...

Eeeeeewwww ┬║°˚˚°┬║ooOO this is finish our celebrities season II Roflmao

Modupe

Akpu said...

Mr Etcetera, your next article should be, 'The Legion of Nigeria Failed Singers:Why The Could Make It'.

Anonymous said...

Whatever anybody wants to do with his or her skin is their own business. At least everybody is aware of cancer

Anonymous said...

And who is dis ecetera again. Obviously he is seeking 4 attention cuz half of what he said Dnt make sense n doesn't mean ish.

Anonymous said...

Abeg dis guy don frustrate make him go sit down for 1 lungu joooo...olubukola daniels aka blackmamba...

Anonymous said...

Jobless tart

lilian ogede said...

This is the reason why I love the most influential and intelligent actress in Africa, Genevieve.she is cool,calm and collected.She does not bleach,yet she has the highest number of fans in Africa because her acting skills speak for her not the colour of her skin.most of the light skin actresses bleach.most of them were not as light as they are now.Genevieve rules.I love her.

Anonymous said...

I sense sarcasm from the writer... Lol

Anonymous said...

Living with hands in pocket and people's judgments and scorn at one's back is a hell of a way to live. Bleaching's too much work, sticking with soap, water and lotion. Of course you don't care about people bleaching, Linda. You put Dencia and Whitenicious on the map with your hyping.

Edu Odimgbe said...

Black nyash!!!! He is referring to Tiwa savage lmao

Anonymous said...

Hehehehehehehehehe

Anonymous said...

Lmao

Porsche Quinn said...

Hahahahahahaha... this dude is seriously mouthed! this piece 4 dem Aunty Toke,Tonto, Rukky,and almost all d yoruba movie actresses. I Luv Etcetera!!!

Anonymous said...

Mercy Johnson. Wetin even concern you for who bleach? Your criteria for girlfriend go high well well o, Etcetera. Wetin you dey find nor dey. Girls go dey fear to gree your own o.

Anonymous said...

Dis guy is a fool

Anonymous said...

But come o, Etcetera, na woman just be your only problem for life? Woman marry another person husband, woman wear body magic, woman bleach.............Na wa!

Anonymous said...

ETC! U re mouth eh!Choi!#they are like dogs with rabies.#they react like ogbanje to deliverance. LMAO!

TWITS said...

Abeg who is this guy??? Is he a celeb.or even near to it!? Abeg am fed up of this person. Always criticizing. Enough of him abeg. Next pls!

Anonymous said...

This got me cracked up...mehn! I enjoyed every bit of the read. So funny especially the abbrevation, we the ABNC *rotfl*

Anonymous said...

this guy's mouth is loud for sure

Anonymous said...

this guy's mouth is loud for sure

Anonymous said...

gbam, tnx for defending them in this manner.

Anonymous said...

Another wonder piece from Etcetera, huge fan of him. Linda abeg go to www.etceteralive.com and get more pictures of him.

Anonymous said...

Mr Etcetera has done it again. His anti-celeb rants are becoming legendary.

Kimmy*****

Anonymous said...

This nigga's gay... Long fuckn epistle man. It's common knowledge bleaching is disgusting but he needs to get a damn job or a girl

dashing mathias said...

does every light skin person bleached?

TeeDee said...

Oh Lord! This article just killed me! Lwkmd! Etcetera ti ya weyrey mehn! Crazy ass idiot! Lwkmd! Idiot boy...oh boy! Accurate though! Very hilarious smtyn!

AL Erik said...

Hehe...Chai yanga dey sleep, trouble go wake am...hmmm, time to sit back and watch folks beat themselves up over this....oya now lego dere!

Anonymous said...

MTN Toke makinwa,hope you are reading this???


Because u have become whiter than snow white and even Dancia/dentia d inventor of whitening creams!



ebony said...

Wow!!! This guy is do funny
Lol!!!!!!!

helen patrick said...

Well I personally enjoy all etceteras write ups...they are true and really hilarious..
For y'all calling him a failure....seriously?? the guy didnt succed in music and is obviously putting his education to good use and some people just wont forget the past and accept the new him....whether you hate or not, hes doing really well for himself and doesnt care what people say cos thats not goin to stop him from writing...LoL

Anonymous said...

Etcetera should be minding his business. Live and let live. Everyone is responsible for the decisions they make regarding their bodies. You could condemn them privately, in your room. Have your say on your bed and turn a blind eye. Meanwhile, Etcetera, your use of the word "culpable" was wrong.
LS

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm
The standard

to Heaven


3

Things that makes people cry


Why You Must

Command God

Temmy said...

Dis guy hian! Beautiful write up, I still prefer d confession though.

nene said...

Pls post d comments already

Mama ibeji said...

Lol@they react to sea water like ogbanje react to deliverance

Neymar said...

Etc, u really need to chill or beta still tak several seats back. Even if u write a hundred page, pple will still do wat dey want to do with dere body so stp making noise lyk China phn, plzz !!

Lightbirdie said...

He is saying the truth na. If they are entitled to bleaching, he is entitled to his opinions too. Chikena!

ukwumaka theophilus said...

This man is serously cracking me up. I love his sarcasm though.

Yours Truly said...

Do I love this man? Do I hate him? Not sure to be honest with you but there is an element of truth in this write up !

Anonymous said...

Well said...rather mild#thumbsup

Anonymous said...

Someone should please help me talk to Pretty Actress: Ebube Nwagbo to kindly do herself a lot of good by reverting to her natural, splendid chocolate skin colour. The toning is not working for her. I am 36 years Old & I really like to marry Ebube as my Wife but her skin colour puts me off. I am very fair in complexion so I do not like ladies who are light-skinned.

jerry said...

Issokay.

APPLE said...

Linda you said that because your sister is bleaching.

Beeteewhy said...

I wanted to say God bless u,,but I don't believe in god..nice comment.

Anonymous said...

Madam don't be deceived oh men don't find u ppl exactly appealing,its called human psychology! Any woman dt bleaches her skin has confidence issues plus low self esteem and such a woman is an easy catch so don't be flattered ok!

KWEEN said...

Lmaooo!! The sarcasm in this write up is just epic. When the bleachers read this, I'd bet it'll sting their skin. :(

Akpu said...

:' Why They Couldn't Make It'

Anonymous said...

Lol

julie love said...

Truth is better, but say it anyway........

faith anah said...

Lol very funny dude

Subomi said...

I pay this guy no mind

Anonymous said...

I hope your sister reads this article, aunty Linda. Sjhe may find it helpful! .Just saying...I am out of here!

Chysugar said...

GBAM!!!...hit d nail on its head
Hate him all u like buh dude made DORO_sense
Pls visit my blog

Chinwenmeri.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Thank u 4 giving her d simple truth. ...
Taibat pls go n rest.
I just knew so many bleachers will have something 2 say. Mtcheww . Defending stupidity since 1900

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