Dear LIB readers: should I marry a man who had three kids with a woman and never married her?
From a female LIB reader
The man I am dating right now was with a woman for 17 years and had three children with her but they never married. He never even proposed to her. We met in April this year shortly after they separated and the reason they separated was because the woman gave him an ultimatum, either he married her or they were over. He chose to leave the relationship but now he wants to marry me. He wants us to have a wedding in December. I was okay with it at first until I received the longest e-mail I've ever read from his children's mother. She explained everything that went down between them and asked me to please reconsider marrying him. She sounded very heartbroken. Should I let him go to return to his family or should I do what he wants and marry him? I'm confused. I love him though but I've been feeling guilty since reading the letter.
LET HIM RETURN TO HIS WOMAN AND CHILDREN. EVERYBODY CANNOT BE TUFACE. THERE ARE SO MANY YOUNG GUYS OUT THERE, LOOKING FOR WHOM TO MARRY. GO GET YOUR OWN HUSBAND PLEASE.
U can v 5kids for a man n u guys stil won't b meant to be but realy d guy wicked aftr 3kids e stil no marry am wetin e wan born again. Abeg reconsider u r too young for dt kain ish cos no matr wat thgs go evryly bring den togdr
leave the man alone,do u want a complicated life? the man is wicked,being with a woman for 17 years with 3 kids and he did not marry her, Abeg ur own man would come.
I don't tbink you would want to deal with tbat. Leave him alone. And wby is he in such a hurry to marry you? You only met in April, how well do you know this man? Why is everyone flying in to marriage these days. Wow
17 year relatnship wit kids that sounds like marriage to me! If this is real u jst broke a family! I leave u to ur conscience n karma. Girls n married men! Smh
BLACK PUSSY How do u want us to advice u when we don't even know the content of the mail, plz marry him if u love him, Google Tu face and Annie shikena.
Truly find out what happened as to why he didn't marry a woman who gave him 3 children, If you ask him alone, you might not get the truth. Ask both of them and ask the Lord to direct you. If not, O.Y.O will be your case o. Good luck Dear, may the good Lord direct you.
My dear dont make the mistake of marrying him...dis similar story happened to my frnd...she married a man with three kids from anoda man..dey got divorced 6months later...anoda woman hot preg for d same man and deliverd a baby boy..his first son till now d man hasnt callled d baby mama to checkup on her or pay d bills..my sopinion..d first babymamma has probably been crying to God on this issue dats y d man doeant hav a settled life....if u go ahead to marry it wont last and u r probably delaying urself and denying urself of happiness..cos God will hear d cries of d baby mama and answer her prayers...she has shed blood and water for that man three times..passed thru delivery three times and u think God wont hear her cry? My dear rin for ur detiny and life..leave dat man with immesitate effect.
Weda or Not u leave him, its still left for him to Go bk to his Family! If Down in ur heart u feel leaving him is the right thing to do, den u shud! God has a way of rewarding Good deeds!
Discuss your finding with him without emotions and get his explanation ( remember the accused must be given fair hearing) . Then unemotionally ask yourself what your own values are based on your conclusion. U can love and also "unlove". It's only a matter of time. If U choose to continue with him based on your convictions , also consider the possibility of being served the same treatment as his former woman and ask yourself if U can handle it when it comes. I wish U the best!!!!!
first of all, what did he tell you happened to his previous woman? you should know that he is very unstable and his word means nothing, not even to him.
Marriage is of agreement if you Love him marry him But have it in mInd that u are His second wife because the children must everly come looking for their father.
You're only asking this question out of desperation, the answer is quite clear; No!!. He'll do the same to u, i.e make u his baby mama & dump u!! Married or not he can abandon u anytime he wants to.
My dear I think you should let him go. A man who has not one, but three children from one woman. Lived together for 17years. Ha! Common now. How would you feel if you where in her shoes? Its unfair please. Why didn't he let her go after the 1st issue. He had to go 2 more rounds. Now he is not interested. Pure wickedness. Please let him carry himself and baby mama drama far from you. You don't need such drama in your sweet life
You won't enjoy your marriage to this man, it's obvious he has deep issues, how can you keep a woman for 17yrs with 3kids and bailout for no reason, you should find out why he left his previous relationship.
Ask God for discernment and direction and then Follow your heart ma'am; you won't get a better option than that. If you feel guilty, then the better part of you knows it's not right.
uv said it all (guilty conscience) firstly put urself in her shoes, the cup u used to measure for another must surely be used to measure for u. My dear put luv behind u n tell him d truth to go back to the mother of his children or else u will put urself in sorrow n regrets d rest of ur life. Ur husband is still on d way, quit dat rubish relationship immediately for a door needs to be clossed for a better one to be open. Goodluck (chynnatu@gmail.com)
My question is 'Why can't he marry the woman that bore him children?' To me the man is an infidel. He is willing to marry you but decline to marry a woman that has endured all, and gave her best.His response to why he is leaving the woman for you cannot hold water. Ask home more questions, and his response will determine if you want to go ahead with the marriage plan or not.
My dear dnt marry him,dat guy is wicked oooo,how will u stay in d same house with a woman for 17years n did not marry her? Chai, n u think urs will work cos he wants 2 marry u december? My dear run away cos dat guy got serious brain issues....*im so pissed ryt now*
ERRRR. Why does this person sound like Tiwa savage? Well if it's you Tiwa, you're late. You should have asked before marrying that guy. And if it's not you, whoever you are I will say follow your heart and pray.
It wil be to ur detriment . She will make sure you have no peace . My ex also did same and I will Neva rest until both of them die a very painful death bastard .
I don't think you should marry him cause I believe if he can leave his kids and the woman he spent 17 years with hum my dear he might do same to u. You know I believe what made an old dress too old to be used will also make this new dress old think about it my dear
See this lady oo!A man stayed with a woman for over 17years.the woman bore him 3 children,and he had the gut not to marry her. my dear,i think you should reconsider and take your leave or else those children will curse you. dont you know a woman that gives u children is no more your concubine but your wife.forget his pity party story and leave him to face his family. There are single guys outside there,go for them not a married man.i wonder how some ladies reason.hian!
better be careful and focus before u make a very big mistake in your life. do ur homework wellOooooo. marriage is not everything is better to be single and happy than married with tears and sorrows, there is a man for every girl out there. so be wise after 17yrs of that woman's life hmmmmm be wiseoooooo.
It wil be to ur detriment . She will make sure you have no peace . My ex also did same and I will Neva rest until both of them die a very painful death bastard .
Lie lie girl you no talk the story as e be,no disturb urself e no marry you na so e go tell you. that's my cousin she is talking about the mother of his kids is in the US wit his kids and e his taking care of dem my dear if I wear you I will ask question and after that run mumu girl you don see who get money na?
17 yearsss????? Some men are plain wicked. Did I just read where u said should u do want he wants or allow him return 2 his family??? What about wat u want maa'mm??? Run 4 ur life abeg.......
My dear walk away! That man is a serial heart breaker on the loose, if he can have 3kids from one woman and still refuse to commit to her what makes u think he'll commit to you becos he married u? There's a difference between being married and being committed. Even after getting married to him u'll still have the baby mama to contend with cos she still want him. Mind you, there's nothing wrong in marrying a man with kids from another woman, the only difference is marry a man whom is willing to commit to you are stand up to his responsibilities.
My dear it's better to walk away now breaking your own heart all by yourself than him breaking your heart after marriage. Btw what's the rush for marriage? You guys met April and he wants u to wed in December? Can't u see he's trying to hide something from u by rushing? My dear, the handwriting is boldly written on the wall for you to see o, don't be blinded by "I must marry syndrome" and rush yourself into heartbreak and regrets. Marriage is not the end o, its the beginning!!!
I hope this your man is not Paul O (surname withhold) if its him,he will not bulge o,he told the babe from onset to find a husband that he will never marry her,she refused and took in with that first son,he stiil said no to marriage with her,told her to move on and get a husband so that she doesn't waste her youth with him,babe hung around at her own risk and popped 2 more hoping he will change his mind,the guy still stood his ground of no marriage. Maybe your man is a different person sha but if its Paul from Akwa lbom,whether you agree to marry him or not,he will never marry that woman but he is a good father to the kids. He will rather die a bachelor than marry that woman. Honestly l think she is even crazy waiting for 17yrs for a proposal/marriage that will never happen till the end of the world. Both family and friends are aware and kept begging that crazy idiot to go and marry but she no gree.
I had like you to learn from what i am about to say to you as our cases are very similar. I will also like to add that its up to you to know whats best for you at the end of it all.
You need to know why you stayed with him despite knowing he has 3 kids with a woman and never married her. 1. Was it pity 2. Did you feel like u were under any obligation to save him from stress. 3. Were u just stressed out and just looking for somewhere to pech on. Well whatever your reason for staying is you need to weigh it against the troubles you re about to get yourself into.
Another thing you might want to consider is your age but whatever the age its not worth starting your life with so much drama. The solution to this is finding yourself and what you love. Most times you think you need a man to complete you but most times its not true you need the you to complete you. Plus you need to put yourself first and love yourself more, here is where lies your answer.
The drama you dont see is, How many children do u plan to have lets say 4 guaranteed you cant have more than two except u re ready to foot the bills ursef. Then your kids cant always be priority even if you re the woman with the ring. He has spent more time bounding with them than he would ever do with yours, so its always a loose loose case. Plus am sure he has boys and girls so think about it.
Then most times men like this are just looking for where to dump their mid life crisis on and you dont want to be the dumpster for them. At the end of it you will end up more alone than ever.
So for whatever decision you decide to make, make sure u put urself first and use ur brain not ur heart here, that way u re not hurting sud incase it turned out u made the wrong decision to stay. Be prepared to live with the consequences of your decision.
Plus the kids would always bring them together and their families and that makes u number two always they have been together too long for him not to consider quite a number of things. You may not like it but its true. You dont want to eat another womans leftovers am sure there are bones that will poke ur throat you might not see that now but later you will and soon.
It better you take whatever you can right now nd leave in style instead of being forced out shamefully. Plus am sure there is a better man out there for you with less drama and that loves you more than you can imagine. Marriage is not the Ultimate. Being married to him does not mean you will be happy or feel complete.
Well for me it was fun and Vengeance that drove me to it. But at the end of the day it wasnt at all worth it. I left in time and now i am more happy than i could ever have imagined.
Biko, i will advise you as a sister, forget love ooooo, he is very heartless and wicked to abandon the mother of his 3 kids and companion of 17 years.
What makes you think he will not abandon you after he marries you say one month after. now tell me how will you feel..... its not about marriage, the Mrs is just a title...... you need to pray that God brings your OWN , cos that is only when everything will go seamlessly smooth and it will jus feel right. You may think that what you feel is love, but my dear in the end it may seem that way again......
I'm not use to this but I'll dare to tell you; advice is what we seek when we've already made up our mind on what we want to do. Without fear of contradiction, there are no binaries - right or wrong do not exist outside context. Because you alone understand the complexity of the circumstances you find yourself; you also understand that the greater good is indeed greater than the immediate one. Whatever decision you decide to follow (which of course you've already decided) know it that it comes with consequences (as in, chain of results); but maturity is in careful consideration of these consequences and take responsibility for your choice and action, not regret. It is my submission that if you listen to that faint voice in you; you'll lice happily ever after.
you don't truly love him ... leave him and don't get involved in the mess you can't compare 17 years to 7 months you may end up as wife but never as queen of his heart... he is just doing this to spite her
A child of 17 should be in d university by now......dats wat he had wif dat woman......he had d 1st child and he knew he wasn't the 1 for her........he had to ve up 3kids b4 it dawned on him dat she's not the 1.....my dear wait for your own man
My dear, don't get carried away by your feelings. If she's good enough to have 3 kids for that man then, she's good enough for marriage.What you should find out is who refused to get married to the other. Men are deceitful, do not let him deceive you.Issues like this leads to Polygamous family.One day, you might wake up and find the mother of his children in your home.You would not want to leave your home. You will be left with no choice than to let her stay. DO NOT MARRY HIM.
Go ahead and marry the man, just remember that whatever he kept going back for in the other woman's waist, has not been transfered to yours. Conclusion, he will keep going back to see his 'children' and maybe have fourth one with her. Then you give him an ultimatum and see what happens. Goodluck with that.
my dear sister dnt marry the man cus wat the man did to his wife and children is not Good at,after 17 yr and staying with a woman he want to abandon her,jst let go and wait patiently for your own husband. God will give u a man that you both will love each other
What the heck!, he dated a lady for 17 good years with 3 kids and never married her and only left after the lady gave him an ultimatum and you think he is the right husband for you??, are you a kid for even thinking twice to marry him, do you know the kinda curse the former lady has placed on him, see if you like yourself, just run as fast as your leg could carry you, the heart can be deceptive at times, hence I think you mind is playing a trick on you by even bringing the thought of still thinking of marrying the man. Run My Dear!!!
You do not have any reason to date him in the first place. marriage is not done out of pity, the longer you stay with him the more you see reasons to marry him. GET OUT BEFORE YOU GET TRAPPED!!!
My dear u just said it all 100%. To the poster ask urself wat was d reason Annie macaulay married Tuface even with d fact dat pero was pregnant with his 3rd baby and he still went on to marry Annie. Just follow ur heart.
hmmmmmmm! it took alot for me to decide to comment, to whom it concerns, if this pathetic story is real, i need to remind u, my sister that every woman has her worth, that every woman deserves the best man she can get, knowing this, u need to ask urself what are u worth? do u deserve a man who is that callous? secondly ask urself, the lady who spent 17 years of her life having kids for him, what is she worth? i will answer that for u, she is a mother of 3 children, that is what shes worth, me and u know thats a lot, now, ask urself, does a mother of 3 children deserve that kind of treatment from the father of her 3 children? my dear take ur time and answer this questions, afterwards u will definitely know if u are still confused, still in love with the man and still considering to marry him. Chichi.
Please, do not let the man fool you to believing you are more special than the other woman, he only wants to use you to spite the mother of his kids. Please, leave the wicked man, do not allow him use you as a tool.
I think you already know what you want to do and need to reference someone else as the reason for your choice.
My advice to you is to be brave as either way and inspite of all the other 250 comments (inspired by their own life experiences and choices, not yours) and counting, you and you alone will live with the consequences of your choice.
Madam,the question you should ask yourself is 'how will i feel if i was neglected by a man i spent 17years of my life with, what if that woman is my sista or my mother'?. Its so glaring that this man has issues and its better you leave him to sort out his life, cos he really doesn't where he's headed! All the best.
That's how captain idahosa divorced his wife then refused to marry the woman who gave birth to four children for him and then went to marry another person.wat a shame.very evil and wicked human being
Awwww! See dear!! Dias no shii like "follow your heart here" put ursef in dah woman's shoe... u dnt love dt guy as much as d woman loves him... She has 3kids for him... Soo dear.. My candid advice is dah u let him marry d mother of his children.... I know u will feel heartbroken too buh dts not ur husband.. Your husband is out dia and will come soon... Jus do dis!!! Its simple... Take heart dia.. #Iam Kendiee
17 years is not beans. If your not young it may not be a problem as you come with baggage too but if you are. Leave. 17 years and 3 kids is a marriage to me. Whether or not she wore a white dress. That woman has probably given him her best years and if she isn't over him. IT.WILL.BE.A.PROBLEM. If you don't want to leave, give the relationship more time before you consider marriage and study him like a law school exam.
There's always 3 sides to a story. His, hers, and the truth. Considering the email came from an ex, I wouldn't totally dismiss what she's saying but, keep in mind that she is an ex. There's is always the idea of bitterness and maybe even jealousy since he chose to commit to you which he did not do with her after 17 years and 3 children. I think the most important thing is communication between you and your fiancé. Discuss your concerns with him and base your decision once you are able to address your concerns with him then u know wat to do. Gud luck
is not advisable for you to marry him,if he truly love u tell him to go back to his wife dat had 3 kids from him, just try to put d matter in own shoe if u re d woman dat had kids for him. how did u feel?
is not advisable for you to marry him,if he truly love u tell him to go back to his wife dat had 3 kids from him, just try to put d matter in own shoe if u re d woman dat had kids for him. how did u feel?
My dear I am a firm believer in a cheater never changes its spots... H gave a woman a baby, went back, gave her another one, wet back and a third one - while she allowed it - he probably showed her signs like he would stick around - he probably promised her something - let this man go before he does the same to you. He may have changed but people rarely change. And even if she alllowed him why did he do that to her life
17 years is not 17 days o My Sister. Run for your life o, if u waka go into the marriage, I swear NA ONLY YOU GO WAKA COME OUT o. If u want to marry him then be ready to face different drama, soap operas and short plays.
if your love your life leave that man! if you love ur parents n family leave that man! God will locate you with your own Husband. it shall not be well with that man!!!! in Jesus Name...
Use your head and be objective. If you marry that man, you will never know peace. Just leave him to sort himself out. I presume he wants to use you to prove a point to his first wife oh sorry baby mama
Dear!!! Doo not.... Believe me u dnt love dis man as much as He's babies mother loves him... Put ursef in her shoes! Jus leh dm b ok?? Its gon hurt u.. Buh leh dm b#Iam Kendiee
d man is wicked, nd u want to marry a wicked man abi..okay, continue!! U were informed oo. How will a man with a conscience be wit a woman 4 17yrs, wit 3kids nd still refuse her marriage? And u tink ur case will b different, hahaha i laf. U beta erase dat love u feel frm ur heart, mind and soul. Dust ur slippers, put 'em on ur head nd run as fast as u can from dat demon. By d tym u get pregnant 4 him by mistake, dat marriage he promise u in december will kip trekking till d yr 2034
307 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 307 of 307LET HIM RETURN TO HIS WOMAN AND CHILDREN. EVERYBODY CANNOT BE TUFACE. THERE ARE SO MANY YOUNG GUYS OUT THERE, LOOKING FOR WHOM TO MARRY. GO GET YOUR OWN HUSBAND PLEASE.
U can v 5kids for a man n u guys stil won't b meant to be but realy d guy wicked aftr 3kids e stil no marry am wetin e wan born again. Abeg reconsider u r too young for dt kain ish cos no matr wat thgs go evryly bring den togdr
Same thing is happening to me,i truly luv dis man in question.
leave the man alone,do u want a complicated life? the man is wicked,being with a woman for 17 years with 3 kids and he did not marry her, Abeg ur own man would come.
I don't tbink you would want to deal with tbat. Leave him alone. And wby is he in such a hurry to marry you? You only met in April, how well do you know this man? Why is everyone flying in to marriage these days. Wow
17 year relatnship wit kids that sounds like marriage to me! If this is real u jst broke a family! I leave u to ur conscience n karma. Girls n married men! Smh
Nawa o,Use your head o
BLACK PUSSY
How do u want us to advice u when we don't even know the content of the mail, plz marry him if u love him, Google Tu face and Annie shikena.
Truly find out what happened as to why he didn't marry a woman who gave him 3 children, If you ask him alone, you might not get the truth. Ask both of them and ask the Lord to direct you. If not, O.Y.O will be your case o. Good luck Dear, may the good Lord direct you.
My dear dont make the mistake of marrying him...dis similar story happened to my frnd...she married a man with three kids from anoda man..dey got divorced 6months later...anoda woman hot preg for d same man and deliverd a baby boy..his first son till now d man hasnt callled d baby mama to checkup on her or pay d bills..my sopinion..d first babymamma has probably been crying to God on this issue dats y d man doeant hav a settled life....if u go ahead to marry it wont last and u r probably delaying urself and denying urself of happiness..cos God will hear d cries of d baby mama and answer her prayers...she has shed blood and water for that man three times..passed thru delivery three times and u think God wont hear her cry? My dear rin for ur detiny and life..leave dat man with immesitate effect.
Weda or Not u leave him, its still left for him to Go bk to his Family! If Down in ur heart u feel leaving him is the right thing to do, den u shud! God has a way of rewarding Good deeds!
My dear, this is not a foundation for a healthy marrige. Please think your brain and not your heart and move on
Discuss your finding with him without emotions and get his explanation ( remember the accused must be given fair hearing) . Then unemotionally ask yourself what your own values are based on your conclusion. U can love and also "unlove". It's only a matter of time. If U choose to continue with him based on your convictions , also consider the possibility of being served the same treatment as his former woman and ask yourself if U can handle it when it comes. I wish U the best!!!!!
If u ask me,na who i go ask?
Good woman. ....If only all mistresses are like u
No... Pls don't marry him..
Hmmm dis question is strong! To me Ooº°˚ ˚°ºo if u Love and bliv in him marry him. Everybody fate is diff.
are u dumb??? find ur own husband go front jor..."pasan ti won fi naa iya'le wa l'aja fun iyawo"
Honeydrop
My friend leave him alone, his is not the only one in the world
He his a stupid man,pls don't marry him he should go marry his babies mama selfish man
first of all, what did he tell you happened to his previous woman? you should know that he is very unstable and his word means nothing, not even to him.
Marriage is of agreement if you Love him marry him But have it in mInd that u are His second wife because the children must everly come looking for their father.
You're only asking this question out of desperation, the answer is quite clear; No!!. He'll do the same to u, i.e make u his baby mama & dump u!! Married or not he can abandon u anytime he wants to.
My dear I think you should let him go. A man who has not one, but three children from one woman. Lived together for 17years. Ha! Common now. How would you feel if you where in her shoes? Its unfair please. Why didn't he let her go after the 1st issue. He had to go 2 more rounds. Now he is not interested. Pure wickedness. Please let him carry himself and baby mama drama far from you. You don't need such drama in your sweet life
You won't enjoy your marriage to this man, it's obvious he has deep issues, how can you keep a woman for 17yrs with 3kids and bailout for no reason, you should find out why he left his previous relationship.
Ask God for discernment and direction and then Follow your heart ma'am; you won't get a better option than that.
If you feel guilty, then the better part of you knows it's not right.
#chicavila
leave him
U better leave d guy cos wot happen to d first one wil happen to u! Dat man s a deceiver,whether wedding or not
uv said it all (guilty conscience) firstly put urself in her shoes, the cup u used to measure for another must surely be used to measure for u. My dear put luv behind u n tell him d truth to go back to the mother of his children or else u will put urself in sorrow n regrets d rest of ur life. Ur husband is still on d way, quit dat rubish relationship immediately for a door needs to be clossed for a better one to be open. Goodluck (chynnatu@gmail.com)
leave him or God will punish u
I wouldn't
Marry him if the love between both of you is mutual.
Above all pray to God for direction but I will simply say just take a walk. Avoid future wahala.
My question is 'Why can't he marry the woman that bore him children?' To me the man is an infidel. He is willing to marry you but decline to marry a woman that has endured all, and gave her best.His response to why he is leaving the woman for you cannot hold water. Ask home more questions, and his response will determine if you want to go ahead with the marriage plan or not.
dnt marry him cus he is still gonna keep banging the mother of his children.
My dear dnt marry him,dat guy is wicked oooo,how will u stay in d same house with a woman for 17years n did not marry her? Chai, n u think urs will work cos he wants 2 marry u december? My dear run away cos dat guy got serious brain issues....*im so pissed ryt now*
Bad idea gal ..if it is a kid it wuld been managable d most scary part is he neva marry dem what is d assurance ur mariage will work out
ERRRR. Why does this person sound like Tiwa savage? Well if it's you Tiwa, you're late. You should have asked before marrying that guy. And if it's not you, whoever you are I will say follow your heart and pray.
It wil be to ur detriment . She will make sure you have no peace . My ex also did same and I will Neva rest until both of them die a very painful death bastard .
let go of him dearie
I don't think you should marry him cause I believe if he can leave his kids and the woman he spent 17 years with hum my dear he might do same to u. You know I believe what made an old dress too old to be used will also make this new dress old think about it my dear
He will always go back there. Save yourself the heartbreak, and move on. That situation isn't for you.
See this lady oo!A man stayed with a woman for over 17years.the woman bore him 3 children,and he had the gut not to marry her. my dear,i think you should reconsider and take your leave or else those children will curse you. dont you know a woman that gives u children is no more your concubine but your wife.forget his pity party story and leave him to face his family.
There are single guys outside there,go for them not a married man.i wonder how some ladies reason.hian!
better be careful and focus before u make a very big mistake in your life. do ur homework wellOooooo. marriage is not everything is better to be single and happy than married with tears and sorrows, there is a man for every girl out there. so be wise after 17yrs of that woman's life hmmmmm be wiseoooooo.
It wil be to ur detriment . She will make sure you have no peace . My ex also did same and I will Neva rest until both of them die a very painful death bastard .
My dear run for ur life...If he can't commit with dat lady dat has three kids with him..do u tink he will stay with you.
Lie lie girl you no talk the story as e be,no disturb urself e no marry you na so e go tell you. that's my cousin she is talking about the mother of his kids is in the US wit his kids and e his taking care of dem my dear if I wear you I will ask question and after that run mumu girl you don see who get money na?
whats the probability that wen u marry him he will not divorce u after having children for him. anyways just follow ur heart
17 yearsss????? Some men are plain wicked.
Did I just read where u said should u do want he wants or allow him return 2 his family??? What about wat u want maa'mm???
Run 4 ur life abeg.......
Dont marry him
My dear walk away! That man is a serial heart breaker on the loose, if he can have 3kids from one woman and still refuse to commit to her what makes u think he'll commit to you becos he married u? There's a difference between being married and being committed. Even after getting married to him u'll still have the baby mama to contend with cos she still want him. Mind you, there's nothing wrong in marrying a man with kids from another woman, the only difference is marry a man whom is willing to commit to you are stand up to his responsibilities.
My dear it's better to walk away now breaking your own heart all by yourself than him breaking your heart after marriage.
Btw what's the rush for marriage? You guys met April and he wants u to wed in December? Can't u see he's trying to hide something from u by rushing?
My dear, the handwriting is boldly written on the wall for you to see o, don't be blinded by "I must marry syndrome" and rush yourself into heartbreak and regrets.
Marriage is not the end o, its the beginning!!!
Don't marry into divorce!!!
KENAAN
I hope this your man is not Paul O (surname withhold) if its him,he will not bulge o,he told the babe from onset to find a husband that he will never marry her,she refused and took in with that first son,he stiil said no to marriage with her,told her to move on and get a husband so that she doesn't waste her youth with him,babe hung around at her own risk and popped 2 more hoping he will change his mind,the guy still stood his ground of no marriage. Maybe your man is a different person sha but if its Paul from Akwa lbom,whether you agree to marry him or not,he will never marry that woman but he is a good father to the kids. He will rather die a bachelor than marry that woman. Honestly l think she is even crazy waiting for 17yrs for a proposal/marriage that will never happen till the end of the world. Both family and friends are aware and kept begging that crazy idiot to go and marry but she no gree.
I had like you to learn from what i am about to say to you as our cases are very similar. I will also like to add that its up to you to know whats best for you at the end of it all.
You need to know why you stayed with him despite knowing he has 3 kids with a woman and never married her. 1. Was it pity 2. Did you feel like u were under any obligation to save him from stress. 3. Were u just stressed out and just looking for somewhere to pech on. Well whatever your reason for staying is you need to weigh it against the troubles you re about to get yourself into.
Another thing you might want to consider is your age but whatever the age its not worth starting your life with so much drama. The solution to this is finding yourself and what you love. Most times you think you need a man to complete you but most times its not true you need the you to complete you. Plus you need to put yourself first and love yourself more, here is where lies your answer.
The drama you dont see is, How many children do u plan to have lets say 4 guaranteed you cant have more than two except u re ready to foot the bills ursef. Then your kids cant always be priority even if you re the woman with the ring. He has spent more time bounding with them than he would ever do with yours, so its always a loose loose case. Plus am sure he has boys and girls so think about it.
Then most times men like this are just looking for where to dump their mid life crisis on and you dont want to be the dumpster for them. At the end of it you will end up more alone than ever.
So for whatever decision you decide to make, make sure u put urself first and use ur brain not ur heart here, that way u re not hurting sud incase it turned out u made the wrong decision to stay. Be prepared to live with the consequences of your decision.
Plus the kids would always bring them together and their families and that makes u number two always they have been together too long for him not to consider quite a number of things. You may not like it but its true. You dont want to eat another womans leftovers am sure there are bones that will poke ur throat you might not see that now but later you will and soon.
It better you take whatever you can right now nd leave in style instead of being forced out shamefully. Plus am sure there is a better man out there for you with less drama and that loves you more than you can imagine. Marriage is not the Ultimate. Being married to him does not mean you will be happy or feel complete.
Well for me it was fun and Vengeance that drove me to it. But at the end of the day it wasnt at all worth it. I left in time and now i am more happy than i could ever have imagined.
Biko, i will advise you as a sister, forget love ooooo, he is very heartless and wicked to abandon the mother of his 3 kids and companion of 17 years.
What makes you think he will not abandon you after he marries you say one month after. now tell me how will you feel..... its not about marriage, the Mrs is just a title...... you need to pray that God brings your OWN , cos that is only when everything will go seamlessly smooth and it will jus feel right. You may think that what you feel is love, but my dear in the end it may seem that way again......
STOP, THINK, PRAY......
I'm not use to this but I'll dare to tell you; advice is what we seek when we've already made up our mind on what we want to do. Without fear of contradiction, there are no binaries - right or wrong do not exist outside context. Because you alone understand the complexity of the circumstances you find yourself; you also understand that the greater good is indeed greater than the immediate one. Whatever decision you decide to follow (which of course you've already decided) know it that it comes with consequences (as in, chain of results); but maturity is in careful consideration of these consequences and take responsibility for your choice and action, not regret. It is my submission that if you listen to that faint voice in you; you'll lice happily ever after.
Plz dnt marry him. Considering d fact dat his ex-wife had contacted u. He shuld go back to his wife. He has 3 kids na JESUS u wan born?
Plz dnt marry him. Considering d fact dat his ex-wife had contacted u. He shuld go back to his wife. He has 3 kids na JESUS u wan born?
you don't truly love him ... leave him and don't get involved in the mess you can't compare 17 years to 7 months you may end up as wife but never as queen of his heart... he is just doing this to spite her
My dear run for ur life,obviously he his not ur hubby.
U better delete him frm ur life my dear
A child of 17 should be in d university by now......dats wat he had wif dat woman......he had d 1st child and he knew he wasn't the 1 for her........he had to ve up 3kids b4 it dawned on him dat she's not the 1.....my dear wait for your own man
My dear, don't get carried away by your feelings.
If she's good enough to have 3 kids for that man then, she's good enough for marriage.What you should find out is who refused to get married to the other. Men are deceitful, do not let him deceive you.Issues like this leads to Polygamous family.One day, you might wake up and find the mother of his children in your home.You would not want to leave your home. You will be left with no choice than to let her stay.
DO NOT MARRY HIM.
He will do same to you. Why not wait for your own time and God will give you a suitable man who will take care of you and love you forever.
Go ahead and marry the man, just remember that whatever he kept going back for in the other woman's waist, has not been transfered to yours. Conclusion, he will keep going back to see his 'children' and maybe have fourth one with her. Then you give him an ultimatum and see what happens. Goodluck with that.
If you marry him, you will be the caretaker of his three children.
my dear sister dnt marry the man cus wat the man did to his wife and children is not Good at,after 17 yr and staying with a woman he want to abandon her,jst let go and wait patiently for your own husband. God will give u a man that you both will love each other
The kpasan that was used to beat iyale is mbe la agbala
What the heck!, he dated a lady for 17 good years with 3 kids and never married her and only left after the lady gave him an ultimatum and you think he is the right husband for you??, are you a kid for even thinking twice to marry him, do you know the kinda curse the former lady has placed on him, see if you like yourself, just run as fast as your leg could carry you, the heart can be deceptive at times, hence I think you mind is playing a trick on you by even bringing the thought of still thinking of marrying the man. Run My Dear!!!
You do not have any reason to date him in the first place. marriage is not done out of pity, the longer you stay with him the more you see reasons to marry him. GET OUT BEFORE YOU GET TRAPPED!!!
My dear u just said it all 100%. To the poster ask urself wat was d reason Annie macaulay married Tuface even with d fact dat pero was pregnant with his 3rd baby and he still went on to marry Annie. Just follow ur heart.
Babe, RUN!!!
hmmmmmmm! it took alot for me to decide to comment, to whom it concerns, if this pathetic story is real, i need to remind u, my sister that every woman has her worth, that every woman deserves the best man she can get, knowing this, u need to ask urself what are u worth? do u deserve a man who is that callous? secondly ask urself, the lady who spent 17 years of her life having kids for him, what is she worth? i will answer that for u, she is a mother of 3 children, that is what shes worth, me and u know thats a lot, now, ask urself, does a mother of 3 children deserve that kind of treatment from the father of her 3 children? my dear take ur time and answer this questions, afterwards u will definitely know if u are still confused, still in love with the man and still considering to marry him. Chichi.
My dear, dont marry him i made d same mistake am so miseriable today. Looking for way out
Please, do not let the man fool you to believing you are more special than the other woman, he only wants to use you to spite the mother of his kids.
Please, leave the wicked man, do not allow him use you as a tool.
I think you already know what you want to do and need to reference someone else as the reason for your choice.
My advice to you is to be brave as either way and inspite of all the other 250 comments (inspired by their own life experiences and choices, not yours) and counting, you and you alone will live with the consequences of your choice.
May God guide your choosing.
Let him go pls
Madam,the question you should ask yourself is 'how will i feel if i was neglected by a man i spent 17years of my life with, what if that woman is my sista or my mother'?. Its so glaring that this man has issues and its better you leave him to sort out his life, cos he really doesn't where he's headed! All the best.
That's how captain idahosa divorced his wife then refused to marry the woman who gave birth to four children for him and then went to marry another person.wat a shame.very evil and wicked human being
Awwww! See dear!! Dias no shii like "follow your heart here" put ursef in dah woman's shoe... u dnt love dt guy as much as d woman loves him... She has 3kids for him... Soo dear.. My candid advice is dah u let him marry d mother of his children.... I know u will feel heartbroken too buh dts not ur husband.. Your husband is out dia and will come soon... Jus do dis!!! Its simple... Take heart dia.. #Iam Kendiee
17 years is not beans. If your not young it may not be a problem as you come with baggage too but if you are. Leave. 17 years and 3 kids is a marriage to me. Whether or not she wore a white dress. That woman has probably given him her best years and if she isn't over him. IT.WILL.BE.A.PROBLEM.
If you don't want to leave, give the relationship more time before you consider marriage and study him like a law school exam.
my dear let that stupid man go, u are the next. 17 years is not 17 days run for life
Have u slept with the man already?
If you were my daughter i will say NO.
Wahala dey market, na im u wan buy so o
Paper tingz!!
There's always 3 sides to a story. His,
hers, and the truth. Considering the
email came from an ex, I wouldn't
totally dismiss what she's saying but,
keep in mind that she is an ex.
There's is always the idea of
bitterness and maybe even jealousy
since he chose to commit to you
which he did not do with her after 17
years and 3 children. I think the most
important thing is communication
between you and your fiancé. Discuss
your concerns with him and base
your decision once you are able to
address your concerns with him then u know wat to do. Gud luck
Honeydrop
Take your choice if you can handle step children, but remember what goes around comes back to visit you later.
is not advisable for you to marry him,if he truly love u tell him to go back to his wife dat had 3 kids from him, just try to put d matter in own shoe if u re d woman dat had kids for him. how did u feel?
is not advisable for you to marry him,if he truly love u tell him to go back to his wife dat had 3 kids from him, just try to put d matter in own shoe if u re d woman dat had kids for him. how did u feel?
DO NOT MARRY HIM! I REPEAT! DO NOT MARRY HIM!!!!!
LOOK FOR YOUR OWN GUY. AND DONT COMMIT SIN
HE MIGHT END UP NOT MARRYING YOU TOO. FOR 17YEARS HE FAILED TO MARRY,IS A SIGNAL THAT YOUR CANT BE AN EXEMPTION
LOOK FOR YOUR OWN GUY. AND DONT COMMIT SIN
My dear I am a firm believer in a cheater never changes its spots... H gave a woman a baby, went back, gave her another one, wet back and a third one - while she allowed it - he probably showed her signs like he would stick around - he probably promised her something - let this man go before he does the same to you. He may have changed but people rarely change. And even if she alllowed him why did he do that to her life
Everytime I love him though, I love him though. What are u girl/women loving?
lol tru sha....but thats the moving jist...it attracts more comments.... dats just wat nigerians like
17 years is not 17 days o My Sister. Run for your life o, if u waka go into the marriage, I swear NA ONLY YOU GO WAKA COME OUT o. If u want to marry him then be ready to face different drama, soap operas and short plays.
if your love your life leave that man! if you love ur parents n family leave that man! God will locate you with your own Husband. it shall not be well with that man!!!! in Jesus Name...
Use your head and be objective. If you marry that man, you will never know peace. Just leave him to sort himself out. I presume he wants to use you to prove a point to his first wife oh sorry baby mama
Y u guys killing d man & still always praising tubaba... I'm his great fan still...
Dear!!! Doo not.... Believe me u dnt love dis man as much as He's babies mother loves him... Put ursef in her shoes! Jus leh dm b ok?? Its gon hurt u.. Buh leh dm b#Iam Kendiee
My dear, please forget him. He's not your man. Put yourself in the other woman's shoes, will you like to be treated in such manner? Wait for your man.
Do not marry him pls. Encourage him to go back to the mother of his children. Remember, you're a mother too.
Wen someone ask for opinion, u don't hv to curse her out if u don't hv any useful think to say
d man is wicked, nd u want to marry a wicked man abi..okay, continue!! U were informed oo. How will a man with a conscience be wit a woman 4 17yrs, wit 3kids nd still refuse her marriage? And u tink ur case will b different, hahaha i laf. U beta erase dat love u feel frm ur heart, mind and soul. Dust ur slippers, put 'em on ur head nd run as fast as u can from dat demon. By d tym u get pregnant 4 him by mistake, dat marriage he promise u in december will kip trekking till d yr 2034
True!!!
Lol...I see your frustration
Post a Comment