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Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Dear LIB readers: Should I still marry her?

From a male LIB reader
Met my girlfriend five years ago as we both came into university together. We started dating and in our third year she got pregnant which we had to quietly removed because we both were not prepared. Now we are both done with NYSC and in search of better paying jobs. The thing is she developed a sickness over the last one year which has been financially demanding. Her parents have sold all they can to keep her healthy and with the explanations from the doctors, her healing is far from now. I do believe in miracles but am worried if I can cope with the financial burden of her health when we get married as I am just about to start life myself.
Am thinking if it would be a wise decision to stay and marry her or do away with her.

182 comments:

Alloy Chikezie said...

This is really a tough one! Maybe you should see a counsellor to get professional advice


Your comment will be visible after approval

Anonymous said...

You are a pragmatic but terrible person. You are already failing at the for better or for worse part...

BRIGHTINO said...

Hmmmm this one na real jamb question. My brother OYO is your case.

BOOTYLICIOUS said...

YOU SEE WHY MEN ARE EVIL????????? SIGH

Anonymous said...

One thing I do pray for is a man who has an unlimited capacity to love me because these niggas aint shit. This is how a woman will give up everything thing for a man but guys... the smallest sign of trouble, they start looking elsewhere...I also don't understand why her abortion is relevant to this question.

Emeka chusky Okoye said...

Wahala dy my bro....jes pray da she gets better!!!! I feel yur pain shaaa.

Barbie cutie said...

After she aborted your baby. . Now u wanna do away with her. . Sorry to say but dats the price u pay when u kill a baby. . Now shez sick. Am sure she wishes she had kept the baby. Got no advice for you

Anonymous said...

Mehn....this is some serious stuff...pray about it. This one pass me.

Anonymous said...

Pls dnt, if she has eva loved u dnt, marry her and see hw God will lift u n bless her, smtyms i wonder hw it easy 4 a guy to drop a gal n nt care but nt so easy 4 a gal to drop a guy without sympathy

Angie Cape said...

Don't desert her; take her to SCOAN Prayerline for healing..and God will heal her thru Prophet TB Joshua.


* My R1.50c comment *


Anonymous said...

Show her wat Luv is all about, marry her. God can heal her through u. U neva can tell wat d future will be.

Anonymous said...

U just said u believe in miracles so y r u complaining...*Amarachi*

Eche Slimstar said...

Hmmmmmm...................

Be patient, my dear. you both have gone through a lot together.

but you have to seek God's face....first for forgiveness, then healing and direction.

Anonymous said...

Guy run as fast as u can

www.promonigeria.com said...

Is this guy for real?

OMF said...

You don't love her enough! If you do, you should be willing to postpone the wedding for awhile instead of thinking of doing away with her!

Anonymous said...

Guy run as fast as u can

Anonymous said...

please....just stay with her as it appears that she needs you now more than ever and if you truly love her as you claim, u would wanna be with her at all times....in sickness and in health.you can never know what would happen....she may just be healed by God...just hold on!

LAZY READER said...

Sorry to say this,dont marry her because you are already contemplating and let her know the reason why you cant marry her...it's a free world!

Anonymous said...

For the fact that you are asking this question means you can't cope with it.

Truth is not everybody should get married. Some are not in good shape to make it beneficial for both.

Hard words but it's the truth.

You are not even ready to marry now. Get a good job first before you start making marriage decisions.

FUNMINISTA said...

Pls don't,haaa! How much is your salary.u. Want to marry liablity.joy to the wise o

Anonymous said...

Plsss don't marrY her because it is obvious u dnt love her at all......idiot

haters-slayer said...

it so sad to hear this,and you both have come a long way,,leaving her now with her present condition is not just rite,and marry her as well is something that has to go with presiverence,just follow your heart i wish you best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Maka I say run

Cynthia said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm. if she was your sister how would you feel.
she got pregnant for you and you had her willfully removed it just for things to be fine. my dear you may dump and for somebody else and the new person may develop a sickness worse off than hers. i think she needs you more than ever.

Bae said...

U better don't do what u'll regret.

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain young man. If you were the one not feeling well and she stays with you, how will that make you feel? If she leaves you for another man because you are not feeling well, how will you feel? Once you are able to answer this question honestly, you will be able to make the right decision. I guess the doctors have not been able to diagnose what the issue is. If I were you, I will persuade my girlfriend to seek a second medical opinion. Who knows, the other doctor might be able to make the right diagnosis. Please continue to pray as well. I pray she gets better.

Chukwuka Anwuli said...

I think u should marry her.put urself in her shoes now and imagine how u will feel if she left u because u are sick.there's nothing God can't do,keep praying.

Vivian Chekwube said...

Pls try nd marry her. She might get healed along d line

Ella said...

hmmmm, difficult one.

Ade Oluranti James said...

Na woa o, i wonder if there is anything like true love.
Obviously the kind of love you have for her is conditional if not you wont even think of asking peoples opinion.You could have been the one on that sick bed dont run away from her now that she needs you it could be a test from God to know ow much you love her, with God all things are possible. Stay with her that is what true love is all about!

BONARIO NNAGS said...

But you never mentioned her type of sickness,so we can know if its life threatening.
Its obvious you're so in love with her. You u both just finished your NYSC give her some time to recover from her illness,that's what she needs now not marriage.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Chukwuka Anwuli said...

I think u should marry her.put urself in her shoes now and imagine how u will feel if she left u because u are sick.there's nothing God can't do,keep praying.

Okoro said...

U people only remember LIBers when the going gets tough, abi?

Anonymous said...

Marry her! Remember the sacrifice u both have made to come this far, this is the time she needs u most, if she were in ur shoes she will stay strong with u. Don't disappoint her bro...
DEBBIE_LUV OBEISUN Says so

desuamannis beads said...

dude i dont envy its dicey mhen.cos u hanging on might be instrumental to her healing miracles do happen. if u were d sick 1 how wld u feel if she left u

Anonymous said...

Approve photos: university of cape coast student, ghana full no clothes photo leaked online by boyfriend

BEAUTIFUL9JADELTABABE... said...

BEAUTIFUL9JADELTABABE...Pray to GOD to direct you on what to do. justsayingmaownohh via ma LATEST PHAMTOM A 3+

Anonymous said...

If u really love her stand by and help her fight what ever ailment she has u can't let go now.

Anonymous said...

if you ask meeee, na who i go ask?? d matter wey u see so e heavy for heart... the truth is nobody's advise can help you really. the decision is urs to make and bro do make it wisely cos its a lifetime decision. so think twice. #gbam.

Odubela Johnson said...

So pathetic God will Lead you through, i cant tell you to dump her and i cant tell you marry her

yetty said...

Hmmmm tough.I think she shld be okay before thinking of marrying her.

Debbie Chelsea said...

D question is,is she d woman God has destined u 2 be with? If yes wait 4 her...but if u aiit clear on dat,fast n pray den God will show u weda she is d ryt woman 4 u....

Anonymous said...

My dear do whatever u want idiot

MISTA SANCHEZ said...

Believe in God and hope for the best! If you really love her you can go xtra miles!

Oluwa Bianca said...

Ogun kill u,thunder fire u,c dis monkey oooo so cos she is ill u 1 leave am leave her and let God punish u till ur last generation omg!guys r means wt if she was ur sister hw in christ name wuld u feel if a guy trys dt wif her guy abeg go die stupid ass

Anonymous said...

if you say u believe in miracles then hold fast in prayers with her. God is still in the business of doing miracles.

evalsam said...

Ur just a mean sonofabitch!! If the reverse was the case she wld stick by now now d first sign of trouble u wanna jump ship! The fact that ur even considering it means ur not ready n it's time for u to move uur sorry ass along... God will heal her n give her a man who ll love n cherish her no matter what! so Bounce fooooll

Anonymous said...

Be Wise Bro. I trust u will make the right decision.

damilola fambegbe said...

Hmmm life,there's know friend like jesus.this is wen she needs u more.with God all things are possible,prayer is d cure.

Anonymous said...

U de craze? u must marry her imagine ooo,after evryfin u wanna drop her? God wil neva 4giv u if u do so...mtcheeeeew!!! JUST PASSING.

Anonymous said...

Life is not fair. MissK

segun said...

this is the time she really needs you, why leave her now? no guarantee you wont encounter such challenge if u leave and marry someone else.

Dr. ada said...

Do away with her???!!! Serzly?! Have no advice 2 render buh u know how u guys were b4 d illness... dat shld help u decide. U myt bring d miracle

dubai drunken babe said...

Dont marry her. For you to even think that you can't cope is enough for you to know you cant marry her. If you spend all you have on her you would begin to resent her. And if its because she aborted your baby you believe you owe her, you don't. She's better off with someone who would stand by her through thick and thin. Its obvious you won't. You would definitely crack once the load becomes too much. So pls leave her for someone better and more deserving of her. You'll find your own healthy wife in front. Keep looking.

In the meantime keep praying for your girlfriend. God would heal her in His own time.

dubai drunken babe said...

Dont marry her. For you to even think that you can't cope is enough for you to know you cant marry her. If you spend all you have on her you would begin to resent her. And if its because she aborted your baby you believe you owe her, you don't. She's better off with someone who would stand by her through thick and thin. Its obvious you won't. You would definitely crack once the load becomes too much. So pls leave her for someone better and more deserving of her. You'll find your own healthy wife in front. Keep looking.

In the meantime keep praying for your girlfriend. God would heal her in His own time.

Anonymous said...

Nobody can advice you...for you to think about it n seek advice. You already know. Such thots re quickly dismissed but u are here seeking advice. What does that tell you? You know what u want. Do it

@edDREAMZ said...

Mehn, this ur question really get bone..... well, yu considering marriage shows that yu really care for her but we are talking about ur life and hw is going to affect yu, so yu tel me, are yu going to leave with the thought of taking care of her in this condition for this rest of ur life....? If ur answer is yes then marry her but if no just marry someone else but always support her.....
.
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

prisca emmanuel said...

You gotta marry her! I thought love conquers all?? When u were screwing her, you were not thinking if you want to marry her or not! Now shes sick, you are thinking of running away! This is the time she needs you most! For you to be encouraging and prayerful. Nog for you to be asking linda. Mtchw

Anonymous said...

My friend,stand by her

Anonymous said...

My brother I am inviting you to christ embassy, pls bring your friend, the WORD of GOD in her spirit will heal her.

chemmywalata walata said...

Oga u no get excuse marriage is for bera for worse so stop seeking LIB's attention marry her unless u no really luv her, okay make I ask u what if she wasn't sick after Nysc n u married her then after 1yr the sickness came up will u divorce her huh! Pls find beta thing yarn abeg

Shoutozone said...

Follow ur hrt bro... Its all abt d two of u nd no1 else. If I ask u to, or not to marry her, wat would it change? Make her health sound? Jst do ur hrt bro

Anonymous said...

Made up. Threw in d 'abortion' angle to get pity & anger from females.

Nice 1 linda

gloria Adama said...

Prayer is de key Bro!

F.Y.F said...

GUY pray about it!! And if you must leave her do it gradually Ok? cos if you just leave her like that her health might deteriorate and she might just die!

Anonymous said...

You see, because of sickness you want to do away with her. Ladies no abortion pls dearie.no matter what. And then the best friend is Jesus. He will never leave you

hilary obiorah said...

Forget about marrying her for now and focus on getting her better. If you two can get thru this now, then you two will survive marriage. Do not leave her, she needs you more now.

Anonymous said...

Put urself in her shoes and make a decision. Do to others what u want pple to do unto you!

Tpy said...

stupid question

Amarachukwu. said...

U can't leave her now she needs you the most pls!

Chop Chop said...

You need to be terminated from this earth. User!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, cruel serious story, God's intervention is required bro..let God lead you..I belief

Son of Solomon

JO said...

For you to even consider "do away with her", I think you have made up your mind, or let me be nice and say you have "almost" made up your mind. You do not "do away with" people, terrible phrase to use. Leaving a person when the person needs you most is also a terrible thing to do. You may consider to help her financially for now. Wait until she gets better before you decide to marry her or not.

Adie said...

Hmmmmm, my dear if you love her pls go ahead and marry her. there is nothing God cannot do. All u need to do is to keep praying and never make her feel that she is actually sick.

babeoku Ikpu said...

Abeg leave dat old story.. Marry her joor.... They say new broom sweep better but its the old one that knows the conner.....


~~otu ocha~~ Ikpu

Anonymous said...

Its obvious both of u are paying dearly for d abortion u committed... Any marry her and carry ur cross..o..k if u dump her satan will punish u.... Sipping my cold kunnu ayah

Daisy Dixon said...

Hello Linda,dis is my first tym here & i wnt 2 commend u 4 ur great wrk.d Lord is ur strenght

IFY NWAJESUS said...

Mr man,if u ever loved dat woman,plz keep on praying for her for God to restore her before taking any further step.oga,she needs u nw,be by her side.

Daisy Dixon said...

Hello Linda,dis is my first tym here & i wnt 2 commend u 4 ur great wrk.d Lord is ur strenght

Shyla said...

I will pass on this one cos eh...

Dike F(xyz) said...

You may not necessarily marry her but pls and pls you just have to be there for her this period. Show her care, contribute financially as much as you can to her treatment, give her emotional support and don't make her suspect you are thinking of leaving her now that she is sick.

You also have to understand that since her Health issue is not connected to the abortion she had with you(Your statement suggest so), then you don't have any MORAL obligation to marry her.

bonario's fling said...

This sickness wey no get name so Nawa....if u still love her stay but of you don't den liv her

Candyfloss said...

Mr Anonymous let's be realistic here, don't talk like you have brain wave. Afterall, he wasn't him that inflicted the ailment on her, plus they are nt even husband nd wife yet! If you wer in his shoes wil u go ahead?

Anonymous said...

Take her to TB church of all Nation scoan lagos state

Oyindamola Tella said...

Now where is d love u most have bin promising her?Is it only meant 4 d good times??

Anonymous said...

Please stand by her, you have come a long way, dated for 5yrs & even aborted for u. leaving her now, u may never know peace or have anoda child.love her please.she gave up everything for u as far as aborting. what if her womb was damaged in d process which was based on ur decision etc & u leave her in these trying time. it wont be well with u. Talking from experience.

APPLE said...

WICKED MAN!

Anonymous said...

Imagine guys are to weak.Now that she has issue ure already looking for a way out.dnt u know is more dangerous to leave her now

Anonymous said...

Men!!!! I'm still finding it hard 2 understand them, they say they luv u and yet still hurts u bt when a woman trully luvs she culd move heaven and hall 4 u, d only tin they knw in there coconut head is sex. I bet he is jt thinking dat he can nt have sex wit her again as he wuld have liked since she is ill and dat she can nt bear him children bcos of her health, men!!! Selfish bunch.

jbankzE said...

Bfr Heaven nd Earth wil punish u,u beta marry dat gal.do u kw if she wil b ur brktru 2 sucex?do u kw if God is testin ur faith? Doctors gave u dia reports,ve u gone 2 God fr his report?tak her 2 any gud church nd c d miracle God wil do.dnt gv up on her cos if it was u,she wil stay nd evn pray fr u.dnt let her tears curse u coz belive mi,u wil nva run away frm dat.

Anonymous said...

Don't ever marry who or what u can't live with,trust me u'll become a worse person in d end

Anonymous said...

Dnt leave nw, bcos she needs u Knw dan b4, cause if u leave u will regret it nd during ur own hard time too u won't find someone to stay beside you.

Olufemi Omoz-Oarhe said...

Stick with her and support her. Help her get well. U shouldn't be thinking of marriage at dis time...you are obviously not ready to get married. All d best bro.

Anonymous said...

It's good you have not made a rash decision, atleast not yet. Here is my advice, young man stand by your woman. If you move on from her today and your new girl goes through health problems after marriage, do you pull the plug on that one too? See, everyone goes through hard times, both health and wealth sicknesses. Some just go through it for a longer period of time. If when you see her you see the mother of your future children and not her medical condition, please stand by her side through this. Lastly, the bible promised us that, "The Lord will never let us go through more than what He knows we can bare". Be strong.

Anonymous said...

I think he's trying to weigh it and consider if a girl who would put her own life on the line by committing abortion for him is worth marrying now that she's not too healthy and the sickness is not going away anytime soon. Either that or he's trying to paint a picture of an indecent girl who once had an abortion. Can you believe these men? I'm sure she must have sacrificed so many other things for him too. The poor girl will be there thinking she has someone who really loves her, they've been together for a long time and they've made it through thick and thin already (including the abortion). Not knowing the guy is looking for a way out now that their lives are meant to start together. I'm not condoning abortion or things like that but it does take two to tango. Mr Dilemma-Man, why don't you ask yourself this question; if you were the one with the ailment, would she stay with you and do everything she can to support you? 5yrs is no joke. Also, if you dump her for someone else; are you sure that other person will have the same type and level of loyalty your girlfriend has for you? Because nobody knows the future, you never know where or what position you might find yourself in; someone who's been through thick and thin with you would have your best interests at heart......... Just Me

Anonymous said...

This funmista is a sadist, you must so much hate your life, all your comments on this blog shows that you are a very mean person and not happy with ur life therefore u want everyone to be sad too..I pity any real life friends u have..stupid girl

Steve said...

The sickness no get name? Meanwhile if you are not close to God! This will be the best time. Goodluck buddy..

Miss Williams said...

I know how difficult it is a decision for you to make right now, but I'll advice u hold on, on the marriage yet, while u still stay with her and look for solution. Christ embassy is presently having a program in south africa called the "Healing School" with Pastor Chris, and it's totaly for free.I'm a product of that meeting and I can tell u my testimony. I understand her family have spent quiet a lot on her. But if u guys can put resource together and take her to the healing school I bet you, u all will be glad u did........it's a life changing experience

Anonymous said...

What has abortion got to do with your statement here, u r d kinda person that would ve told anyone who cares to listen bad stuff abt ur fiancee, I pity the girl if she eventually marry someone like u

Steve said...

This Fumminista.. I don dey fear you from today. You fellow woman??? Kai Kai !!

Anonymous said...

Sharap u hypocrite

Anonymous said...

Question is would she stay if u were in her shoes? U know her, so be guided by the answer.

Aby said...

Marry her if you love her. Her sickness may be to try the two of you. we all have a trying time, you know.

You owe this one to her.....

Anonymous said...

It is so easy for pple to judge. Wait till it is ur turn maybe u will even consider staying.

Pink said...

Dear LIB writer please watch "Love and other drugs" or "Sweet November" or both of them, then you can decide if you love her enough to stay.

Steve said...

This story is more like saying,, u got pregnant for another guy. Ur boyfriend paid for the D&C, accepted you back and you think he had forgotten? My dear am sure he has plans to use you for money rituals...😄😄

Anonymous said...

U're jst so irrational&pathetic! Ur comments make me puke! If dis was done to u nko? Asshole!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm dats a tough one.....da tin is help in da way u can nd God wuld do da rest...nd pls pls leaving her aint an option in dis

Anonymous said...

With her sickness and the pain of heartbreak she may not survive bt die.how will you feel if she dies?Do you think her spirit will forgive you?what if the sickness is a complication from the abortion which you made her commit?what if you leave her tmorrow,get married and have no issue?what if she is ur sister?what if is on the contrary and she marries another man on the peak of ur sickness?when you finish answering all this question,you are free to make ur decision.

Oroh Tobore said...

How can you even think of running away and leaving her in her illness
The thought alone is fucked
That's bad

Anonymous said...

You summed it all up nicely.

Buiti Christian said...

If you believe in miracles then darling keep believing things will become better

Anonymous said...

You are very silly! What if you married her and then the following month, her predicament started....will you leave her? so answer your own question.

Anonymous said...

It's a hard decision to make,humanly speaking its wicked to think of leaving her but marriage is life long so you need to be Wise . I pray God helps you to make the right decision

9ja Parrot said...

Even though you did not tell us her nature of sickness, I believe you can give her sometime to recover. Mind you if you marry another lady, what is your assurance that sickness will not come in marriage. Remember marriage is for better for worse o!

Anonymous said...

Hmmn. Are you sure ure a woman? We need to put ourselves in some shoes sometimes. I was ill for such a long time last year. My bf was there every single day for the 3-4 months I was in the hospital. He popped the question while I was recuperating at home. Am getting married in a month. is the Doctor God? You want to add to her travails by leaving her when she needs you most? Mine was a situation where anyone would have taken to his heels dear. I know it's difficult but even if you want to leave her just support her for now I.e till she gets better please. Don't add to her ailment .

Anonymous said...

May God forgive you Fuminista, why call someone a liability when the next one second of your life is not in your hands?

Anonymous said...

Justice Anonymous, who appointed you Judge?

Abiodun Afolabi said...

I won't lie to you that its gonna be easy; thank God you dint say she love you less.
Leaving her will kill her, and am sure you don't want her blood on your neck.
Please, love and stick to her.
May the Almighty God come to her aid.

Anonymous said...

simple description of who you are..."Ode"

ruru niyi said...

You need a counselor advise on the outcome of the ailment
rufdan Blackberry z3

Anonymous said...

It is God that heals and has d final say,my parents had similar issues, they had an accident shortly before their wedding,doctors advised my dad not to marry my mum cos she wont be able to have kids, he insisted and married her, they had 4 of us! And no it wasnt via IVF or surrogates.

MRS OHIO ERANKO said...

you now want to run , after damaging her womb

Anonymous said...

postpone the marriage for now till she gets better..bt if it was u nd she left u after all these years, u might even curse her sef.. Lolzz.. Well do what u think is right... #Mily.

Anonymous said...

Thank u!!!! Why tell us about d abortion? He's just looking 4 an excuse.

Anonymous said...

Selfish man. Your own go meet you. Men sha... I was pregnant for an ex who undated for nearly 3 yrs, did a pregnancy test at his house came out positive he nearly died, it was then he knew he wasn't ready to be a father meanwhile nigga hated condoms, fast fwd to 2 months i had an abortion, 5 months later I met my husband, and told him everything, he proposed in 5 months, we got married a yr after and a yr after marriage we were blessed with a child, 2 yrs now after marriage and pregnant and expecting. I thank The Lord for my hubby, we married at a young age, and he's the best man ever! Now for that my ex, men like him are everywhere, ladies we just gotta be careful . Some men ain't worth it

Anonymous said...

No wonder u are with a woman. Moron

Nikeh El' said...

You all shouldn't be hypocrites. He who wears the shoes knows where it pinches. For crying out loud,the guy is human and he has every right to complain. If they were married,it'll have been a different issue entirely. Anywayz,my advice to the writer is this- since you believe in miracles,please prove your love by staying by her side. Things will be difficult but then again, God isn't asleep. He'll surely reward your efforts. I wish her quickest recovery.

Anonymous said...

trowing back qst @ u. How will u fill if u the 1 down with sickness and ur so called wuman left? U need not ask dis qst if u teally luv her in the first place.

Bbg Eze said...

U say "her healing is far from now" U r not God so don't say such besides u just finished service so I wl suggest u don't make any hasty decision yet......give it time cos u neva knw wot wl happen in d next second.

Anonymous said...

What would've happened if her illness developed after you got married? Or, better yet, what if you were in her shoes? If you believe being with her is God's purpose for you, don't back out because of a challenge. Your God is not small.

Adaeze said...

LOL!!!! God please deliver us from some selfish creatures referred to as 'men'. Please don't marry her. Marriage is for better or worse, you already can't handle a little challenge (financial burden). You do not love her. Let her find true love. You can go and find a rich, healthy woman since you want to keep your money.

Aymii said...

Dike you analyze proper.....This is the most intelligent comment here.......ma guy show care...wot she needs right now is care not marriage.......just support as much as you can.......As long as you haven't proposed before, you are under no Obligation to marry her.......infact any marrital counselor worth thier salt will tell you never to marry anyone out of pity!!!!


A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage!



On 2 The Next!

Anonymous said...

Which one is ur problem; Is dat u can't read English or that u can't understand English? Please go back and read the post well before pouring out ur stupidity out as comment.

Anonymous said...

And if he is ur brother what will you tell him? Bro marry her!....lets be honest, as much as it very easy for most people to condemn dis dude, just a few of us here will marry a dying person. It's very sad but its the bitter truth. May God help us all and may the good lord heal the lady.

Anonymous said...

marriage is not needed at the momemnt. stay with her through this time of sickness. she needs you now more than ever. at the same time keep praying to God to show you the way.

Anonymous said...

I only want to remind u of one little detail/posibility which is that ur dumping her could lead to her death coz she's not strong enough to withstands heart break. Pls do visit d SCOAN for healing. Stay by her, forget marraige plans for now channel ur energy towards getting a good job n getting her healed. Pray d lord gives u d strenght to do d right thing. SWEET ANONYMOUS.

Anonymous said...

Na wa o,una c Human beings?if na ur brother u go say make he wait?guy put it in Gods hand,buh sher ll advice u to move on buh help her in the way u can.(Xsxie blingz)

Anonymous said...

Oga, is it evrybody u date u r supposed 2 marry?
2. Sm is sick, u r thinking of marriage. really?
3. If u r just starting out, y r u thinking of marriage, am lost... focus on being d best version of urself
4. Forget norm, society & rules. Set ur OWN rules.
5. Most imptly, PRAY

Anonymous said...

The truth is,this is the time she needs u most.Dnt leave her.God is about doing something new in ur life.Hold on.It is well!

Anonymous said...

Men r terrible creatures. A woman won't think twice to stay n take care of. But men lai lai. D want it rosy n perfect. What has d abortion info got to do with did

Anonymous said...

Suppose the roles were switched in this real life drama and you had to wear her own shoes?
What would you want her to do?
Go and do likewise.
As you would have others do to you, do likewise unto them. Period.

Anonymous said...

What if she fell ill after your marriage? Would you divorce her?

Anonymous said...

Right now she needs to heal and be free of illness. As a young man starting life, your love cannot withstand the burden of illness. Although people do not like to acknowledge this, marriage at the end of the day is an economic relationship. It is also one that thrives most, despite our oaths, on each partner being not so burdensome to the other. What keeps marriages going is the history from previous years together. So one person gets sick and for the sake of what they have shared, there is an implicit strong obligation for the other spouse to endure and care for the other. I have been married 15 years. My hubby has not cheated on me or beaten me. However, what I feel now is not what I felt in 1999 when I married him. he falls sick and I care for him because I have kids. Otherwise, I would walk. So free yourself and free her from guilt.

Anonymous said...

Selfish human being. Good luck to you. I hope U do leave her and she gets someone that will support her thru good and and times. Good luck with starting your life

Anonymous said...

Take her to Prayer City immediately

Anonymous said...

You are very self centered and thats d problem these days with Nigerians . Karma will hit you when less expected, 5yrs ain't no joke pls , you both have come a long Way . I guess you have met someone else . Even if she might have HOt you in d past as long as
You both sorted it out , pls don't liv her in her tryin times or you reap it later in life , I beg you for your own good. Hmmm , a word is enof for d wise pple

Kunle Afoo said...

cant say anything bout this but @anon 3:46pm,girls drop guys wit no remorse or sympathy at all, wella!

Anonymous said...

LOL, YOU WANT TO B SICK AND THE GIRL BCM WELL NA IM BE DAT.COM

Gerald Nwokoro said...

Most of the comments here are very judgemental. This dude isn't a bad person, the fact that he's even considering marring her regardless of the odds shows he has a good heart.am sure a lot of u don't know what it means to manage a severe medical condition.some times we need to be quite realistic with life.lets stop and ask our selves regardless of our fantasies about love how many of us would wish this upon our self or a brother of ours.cos it's quite easy to judge when you are not walking in someone else's shoes.

Another Perspective said...

People can say whatever they want to say by saying you betrayed her by leaving however they don't understand the the situation you are faced with as a young man who's imagined what life could be like after setting up in life and ready to live it, so no one can deny you those feelings and emotions you swimming in and the dreams you've set up for yourself that may no longer be realized as you dreamed them. I only would like you to consider that sometimes life doesn't play according to our beats and we have to dance according to its beats. With that being said, life is about what you make of it no matter what circumstances you may find yourself in. There is a movie by Mandy Moore called "A Walk to Remember," it is a very good movie to possibly relate your situation with and even though I know life is no a movie, the message spoke volume that could impact you. I don't know how deteriorating/debilitating your girl's condition may be - if she just has a couple of more years to live or not, but you can give/show her the best there is of love while she is still here. You even may find the greatest fulfillment in loving and accepting her through her condition. Life is about selflessness, and I hope you can release every negative thoughts and whispers around you to just to be a pillar of strength and love for each other. You never know what great fortune/joy/attainment it can bring you.

Anonymous said...

Nobody can advice you but you, but remember the consequence of any action you take.

Anonymous said...

U folks hv sd it all d funminista girl/lady is jst a freaking stone cold ass hole! It can happen 2 anybody even d shit head herself! For me i understand d pressure d guy is under bt u can't jst abandon a girl who has done u no harm becos of sickness! Haba she needs u now more dan eva! Forget marriage 4 now u'll cross dat hurdle wen d time comes..jst support ur girl & go on ur knees 2 pray 4 her quick recovery... besides d Dr is not God & does not hv d last say in her recovery!b strong & hv faith in God's healing power...it is well wit u both Amen...

Anonymous said...

@anon 10:38, maybe you're not referring to a Nigeria woman.

Anonymous said...

Man I pity ur situation but my advice 2 u is to stand by that young lady....I thinkshe needs you more than ever...leaving her now could kill her faster than her health situation.....Mr Vigho

abalo john said...

make u jar my guy>>>>> abi u want carry person problem asw dis question>>>> is she ur wife??omo na ur beb change beb sharp sharp. good-luck Jonathan

anonymous said...

I support your realistic comment. I can see a lot of emotions flowing here but it's better to be real. Follow your heart, be good and not malicious. Be honest about your decision and give all the support you can give. Work hard to be a real man and re-evaluate your position. If you can't cope with the sickness please be honest with her parents and move on with your life. There are some trials in life that cannot stand the test of love. Marriage can be meaningless when trouble comes. The truth is not all relationship must end in marriage. Thank you.

lillycrown said...

as he take talk am now may b no b so d story b oh.n u sabi der.suit urself

JOYCHY said...

I think b4 u seek 4 advice, JUST PONDER & ASK URSELF! IF U WERE D ONE IN HER SHOES HOW WLD U FEEL??? I wldn't take out d fact dat its a very difficult situation here!! BUT HAS D LOVE WAXED SO COLD SO SOON??

She needs u now by her side more dan ever. Even if u wont get married 2 her(BESIDES DAT AIN'T A PRIORITY NOW) dis isn't d time 2 leave her(u just might cut short her life) Stick with her at her trying times.

Besides ur Phrase ''DO AWAY WITH HER'' is rather insensitive..

balogun abiodun said...

Here it is!!! This is one reason why falling truely in love is so goddamn difficult for girls.....it's normal for u to get a bit confused humanly....buh dude, dis babe risked her own life, aborted ur baby....what if she had died???? Now is the tym u have to compensate her by sticking to her n helping her out.......Just compensate her by being there for her....watchOutFor LetsTalkLuv blog......soon to come

beckybest said...

this is ur trying time, if u rily blicv in miracles. marry her and u shall laugh best
God is in control

Anonymous said...

Prayer is d key!! Seek God's face, if dts ur path to take or not!

Anonymous said...

Put everything in Prayers... she will will fine and so will u.

Kenturky said...

You and her must first be truly sorry for the sin committed in the past ask God sincerely for forgiveness of sin(abortion)since He is a merciful God. You most show remorse enough and i bet you God will intervene in your "wive's" health. You have got to marry her for the sake of her sacrifice in the past. You must also learn not to limit the power of God. God is all powerful and can change your financial state in an instant. Wish you well.

Kenturky said...

You and her must first be truly sorry for the sin committed in the past ask God sincerely for forgiveness of sin(abortion)since He is a merciful God. You most show remorse enough and i bet you God will intervene in your "wive's" health. You have got to marry her for the sake of her sacrifice in the past. You must also learn not to limit the power of God. God is all powerful and can change your financial state in an instant. Wish you well.

omowunmi said...

He should go and comfirm b4 he go marry girl ooooo

omowunmi said...

Haaaaaaa,go pray first b4 u go enter d marriage and seek God face ooooo

Anonymous said...

Abeg, who is anon 9:01pm referring to now, the first comment or one of the replies to the comment? I don't see any stupid comments here to be honest, except for your very own comment. I guess you were also trying to ask if someone can't read or understand English, but at least try to speak or express yourself in correct English for starters. Ok?

Anonymous said...

No problem or sickness is above God.whatever is happening now has happened before..God is an ever-forgiving Father.I guess u both must have asked God for forgiveness individually.Now,in unison,i feel u should ask Him for forgiveness(truly repentant).THats the first step and should be a door-opener to any other desire u may need...be it healing or financial breakthrough.I dont believe in moving from one church to the other(been there,done dat...cant wish it for anyone).God is your Father too,so pray your way through.Its not just praying for the sake of prayer,but believing that God has heard and answered you.****''when ye pray,believe in your heart that ye have RECEIVED it and ye will have it'''.I didnt make that up,its in the Holy book

Anonymous said...

No problem or sickness is above God.whatever is happening now has happened before..God is an ever-forgiving Father.I guess u both must have asked God for forgiveness individually.Now,in unison,i feel u should ask Him for forgiveness(truly repentant).THats the first step and should be a door-opener to any other desire u may need...be it healing or financial breakthrough.I dont believe in moving from one church to the other(been there,done dat...cant wish it for anyone).God is your Father too,so pray your way through.Its not just praying for the sake of prayer,but believing that God has heard and answered you.****''when ye pray,believe in your heart that ye have RECEIVED it and ye will have it'''.I didnt make that up,its in the Holy book

Anonymous said...

No problem or sickness is above God.whatever is happening now has happened before..God is an ever-forgiving Father.I guess u both must have asked God for forgiveness individually.Now,in unison,i feel u should ask Him for forgiveness(truly repentant).THats the first step and should be a door-opener to any other desire u may need...be it healing or financial breakthrough.I dont believe in moving from one church to the other(been there,done dat...cant wish it for anyone).God is your Father too,so pray your way through.Its not just praying for the sake of prayer,but believing that God has heard and answered you.****''when ye pray,believe in your heart that ye have RECEIVED it and ye will have it'''.I didnt make that up,its in the Holy book.Love is what you WILL yourself to do..You will come around.Goodluck!

Ugwoke Chinedu said...

Bro, its not easy when it gets to a point like this. all I believe is in love which has no barrier no matter the situation. seek advice from a councilor and go after your state of mind.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

you said u believe in miracle,take her to MFM for deliverance n healing theres nothing God can not do.if you were to be in her shoes am sure she will be there for you too...

Tony said...

My candid opinion, brace up to the challenge and stand by her. You've spent five years together in a relationship means you're part of each other. The challenge is enormous but don't be a coward. You have to stand up for her and by her at this time. It is betrayal to leave her now.

sean said...

na today dem de abort? guy move on buh be der 4 her always financially

Anonymous said...

If it was a white man he would go ahead and marry her. Africans don't love at all lol

Good GIRLs *do Bad things* said...

you never loved her, u never did love her, maybe she just had something u wanted but now that she aint got it nomore u wanna leave...unfortunately she loved u cos its only a girl who truly loves her man that wud endanger her life for him by aborting d child n still love him n stay after abortion...u shudnt ask this question...if u truly love her u wudn't think of "DOING AWAY WITH HER" for one day instead u stand by her knwing she needs u more than her family ryt nw n also pray for her...like she wud have done for u...dont be a COWARD n think of running away wen faced with challenges real men love their girls no matter what.BE A MAN aNd NOT AN UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE!!! * sarcastic smile--Eky.

ZeeZee said...

Your asking this question shows you really love her and are willing to cope. More men like you are needed because most men run when they hear about health issues ..
My dear one sentence: SOMEHOW OR THE OTHER, THE LORD WILL PROVIDE.
Believe that it is well with her..
everyone insulting him would't even stay THEY'D RUN LOOKING FOR ANOTHER- hypocrites

Anonymous said...

So funny hw ppl are saying "marry her,marry her"..Let's be objective here and stop being sentimental..This guy dnt hv a gd work or one at all.
Bro;i think u ar a realist bt i blame u for being pessimistic.Though,you're merely picturing into d picture and being factual to urself,considering if u can withstand d CRITICaL TiMES when they arise in d nearest future esp'when married'.You two hv come a long way so,support her.Ensure ur lov 4 her is nt contaminated/affected by ths situatn or any other.
Let her heal even if u must make any move.As a man,u also nd to settle down,get a gd job,hv a strong and viable finance.This shd b ur prior obj while keepin OR NT kpn a relshp.
..After all ths,u shd re-evalute ur life and relshp wid God and yourself.

OLUWÆBÖBBY

sasha bone said...

Did u hv to include her abortion? cos its an irrelevant info to the whole story

Anonymous said...

Do away with her so she can find someone richer and better!

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