Dear LIB readers: How do I stop being unfaithful to my wife? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday 21 May 2013

Dear LIB readers: How do I stop being unfaithful to my wife?

From a male LIB reader
This is real Linda and I hope the mature men reading your blog can help me. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. We dated for four years before I married her three years ago. We are blessed with two kids and hoping to have more in the future. My wife is simply the best. She's caring, honest, giving, very respectful and responsible and on top of all that she's drop dead gorgeous. I wish I could show you her pictures to see but that would give me away. I couldn't have asked for a better woman. In fact my biggest prayer is when I return to this planet in another lifetime, I hope I marry the same woman. The only issue is that I am not faithful to her. I actually have never been faithful to any woman in my life but I feel this woman deserves that from me, I just don't know how to give her that. I've been with several women since we got together 7 years ago but lately I've been feeling she deserves more from me. I want to be faithful to her but I just don't know how to. I promised myself that 2013 was going to be different and I stayed faithful until last month. I've been with two other women since then, but God knows I want to stop. How do I break away from this behaviour? How do I stop myself from wanting and sleeping with other women? Serious advice only please.

494 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   401 – 494 of 494
Anonymous said...

Well your OK just pray and avoid other women spend more time with your wife there's nothing ever difficult for God

Anonymous said...

The poor man came here for advise not your selfish judgement. You are not in the best position to judge anyone neither are you better of him. My dear brother, what you need to do is to seek God's forgiveness. Pray and fast about it... stay away from friends who might lead you into cheating on your wife (peer pressure). Do things and spend time with your wife if that would make you not think about all other women out there. Be a responsible man, spend time with your family, be romantic to your wife and remain faithful...

africankomkom said...

Just act like me tie your prick and throw it into the lagoon check Africankomkom.blogspot.com to get a good laff :D

Anonymous said...

Dear Male LIB Reader, I strongly advise you to repent and give your life to Jesus Christ.... only then will you be guided by the Holy Spirit and be free from the life of immorality.

Unknown said...

My friend for uv confessed you close to redemption. seems so confusing how you love this woman nd u still cheat on her.

1. Get closer to God and always pray with your wife morning and night.

2. Be contented with what you have.



Anonymous said...

I'm not trying to sound spiritual but it is obvious that this isnt something that can be done on your own. You need to pray about it and have people you can trust who you can be accountable to. Its an addiction and it needs discipline and the grace of God to overcome if not you would keep relapsing.

Anonymous said...

The man is not saying what makes him to always want to cheat

Anonymous said...

my dear! is is a good thing to have identified your issue and u are remorse ofcourse. i encourage u dear one, u can do it but with God. u need God to confront the demon in ur life. get closer to God, pray often. it will not be easy but u will be happy at last. here is my no. 08024347264. u can call me n i will tell u more of what u can do. i pray for u, remain blessed.

Unknown said...

1. Stop going to joints bars etc
2. Wen u see a fine woman and the urge to toast quietlyy I mean quietly b calling blood of jesus
3. Go home straight from work
4 no more men night out yes I mean it it ll b more of fellowship with family
5. Wait lemme think small again brb!

Oni Abimbola Olanike said...

Frankly speaking you need to go for a deliverance because in some cases, its not always an ordinary issue, the devil as already know what your marriage will become, because there are lots of blessing attached to faithful marriage. please friend, try to discipline yourself, its not easy but tell yourself i can do it, i must not fall, i must remain focus with my God given wife and her alone. it will not be an easy task but with determination, you will overcome. Involve your wife in all you do,shape her to what you are looking for out there, take her out regularly make sure you both have a sound communication and God will back you up.

soph said...

First i'm really disappointed with some people's comments. Would you prefer he continues to be unfaithful or at least give him cuddos for looking for help. This is a real problem and if we were in a developed country it would probably be diagnosed and treated so pls don't trivialize it. Anyways, Pls mister you need to get in touch with God and pour out your heart to him and then look for either a counselor, thearapist or anyone you look up to and is mature of mind and confide in that person for strength

Anonymous said...

Are you a christian?
If yes, then you should know for sure that you can run to God in prayers. However u must also make up ur mind to resist every form of temptation.
I will advise you to read books on breaking bad habits and controlling powers.
Everything starts from the mind, if you have won d battle in your mind you have won it already.
Try to avoid tempting situations by keeping yourself busy with the right things.
Spend more time with your wife.
Seek the advise of a counsellor or pastor.

Anonymous said...

First of all, if you have not given your life to Jesus Christ, I suggest you do. This leads me to my second point, when you have Jesus Christ, he gives you the grace to stop behaviors that are detrimental. So do not condemn yourself, but ask for God's grace everyday to help you and I know he will. N.

Unknown said...

Guy, all I can say is that you nees serious deliverance...

Prince McAnthony said...

You have started well, 1, You identified she deserves better. 2, You tried since 2013 to reduce your promiscuity. next you need to Pray and avoid late nights, go home after work and give your self reasons to love your wife more.

Tessy said...

Call this number to order your quail eggs 08034037655

Anonymous said...

Short and simple, change ur wife.
you don't love her..
Xoonz

Anonymous said...

Short and simple, change ur wife.
you don't love her..
Xoonz

Anonymous said...

PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY. YOU NEED A DELIVERANCE. PRAYER IS THE KEY TO YOUR PROBLEM, COS YOU TRIED IT NATURALLY IT DIDN'T WORK.

Anonymous said...

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIES " I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE"? WITH CHRIS ROCK? GO AND WATCH IT. CARRY A PICTURE OF YOUR WIFE AND KIDS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME. AND MOST OF ALL, PRAY.

BB

Anonymous said...

If you truly love her (as you say) speak to her about it and not Linda. Good Luck.

Judeci said...

Have you ever seen an aircraft take off in the direction of the wind? The answer is No. Why? it must be against the wind. isn't? You must face ur problem to phase it out.

You alone can stop this yourself. I have seen a man who is so addicted to drinking and as well so chronic to womanizing but decided to stop and stay glue to his wife. How? By asking yourself what really do i want? In essence i mean you must be determine to say enough is a enough. It is called self determination. There is no amount of advice from friends that can help you stop expect u decide to.There is no amount of prayer a pastor friend or ur church pastor will pray that will change it expect u pick up de pieces of ur life and face it by saying enough is enough.

You alone owns the key. You alone can make it. You alone can pray urself out of this faceless situation engulfing u. My dear move against the direction of the wind, face ur problem to phase it out. Be determine nd say to urself I'M GOING TO STOP.

Anonymous said...

Bro.. take this as the number one solution: the truth is there is
NO PERMANENT SOLUTION. But there is a solution, even though it is not
permanent. You have to continue what you do to continue to be sane. Leave it
for a week and the naughty feeling will bounce back on you.

The solution is MEDITATION on the WORD OF GOD. This is not being religious..
even pastors sleep around.. if he chose not meditate on the word. Human strenght
cannot handle sexual issues. You need something beyond u to hold u back.

I have a similar problem as a born again for years. I was masturbating helplessly.
I married a very pretty woman but still couldn't stop till i read Bishop Oyedepo's book
titled : Blood Triump.

After that encounter and practising what the man of God prescribed in the book... it was
as if i never had the problem. After several months.. i forget the prescriptions and before
i knew it, i was back in the mess. Got back on to it and free again.
Mere human resolutions cannot handle sexual pervasion.. trust me! Even many of the pple
advising u r having the same problem if not worse.

Shadow said...

Find God

Anonymous said...

Believe right to live right.

uchenez said...

ashawo backyard better stop now becos this one u ve started feeling bad u are about to be caught and there is a thin line btw love and hate

uchenez said...

ashawo backyard better stop now becos this one u ve started feeling bad u are about to be caught and there is a thin line btw love and hate

Anonymous said...

hmmm... So she now have ur contact details? Why not tell us how you intend to help this man??

Nicki Minaj 'Exposes All' As She Goes On
Stage Without Panties

uchenez said...

ashawo backyard better stop now becos this one u ve started feeling bad u are about to be caught and there is a thin line btw love and hate

365Xmachine-ricreated said...

Guy, u r a sex addict, and talking abt it like this is gud, it's the first step, see a therapist, psychologist, above all u need to repair or build a true and sincere r/ship with GOD tru Jesus Christ; there might be plenty failures, don't give up, keep making plenty efforts, u will eventually overcome, if u stay true to the goal. Cheers! See u on top of the situation.

Anonymous said...

You just hav to cut that thing in between legs...

obafem said...

Jesus Christ the son og God will help u. Give ur life to JESUS nd he will help you to be faithful to your lovely wife & God. Way out of unfaithfulness is to seek God. Wise men seek God.It is well with u.

Anonymous said...

First of all you are a man with weakness for women, secondly, you have an uncontrollable addiction.
You need a therapeutic treatment. You will have to be honest with yourself, Nevertheless you will also have to be strict to yourself.
Think of your biggest fear which I assume is (losing your wife). I believe you wouldn’t want this to be implemented.
You will have to think of things that will motivate you not to loos her. Moreover spend more time together without the kids around. At the same time do things to miss each other (this is your dangerous zone) this is the time you will have to challenge yourself. Also do things that will make only her attractive to you… or that will make you not do without her. Meditation and a bit of fasting should also be welcome up board. (remember a bit of self-torture enables one to stay serious and focused).
Please be advised that this will be a long term process until it becomes your daily routine before you will realise a perpetual change.

I wish you and your family the best.

Dr Barbs

Anonymous said...

You are ole, olojukokoro!

Anonymous said...

you do seem a good person as you acknowledge you have a problem. you need to go for counselling in church together with her and surrender entirely to God. God bless you and I pray God helps you both get through this.

Anonymous said...

MY HUMBLE QUESTION TO THESE LADIES FUMING IS THAT WHO IS THIS MAN HAVING SEX WITH ON A DAILY/WEEKLY BASIS?

No be fellow woman?

The ladies/women know he is married yet sleeping with him. Some of you said you wanted to have a taste of some hot guys posted here...what you talking about?

what are you all crying about? if guys are dogs, ladies are hoes.

please gaan sit down

the man sef better pass most ladies sef

Anonymous said...

Seriously turn to God about it. There is absolutely nothing God cannot do. If you really are sincere,go to God and ask Him to give you the grace for you sure cannot do it alone.

It's good to see that you are even thinking about the fact that you need to be faithful. You realize it is wrong so, take the next step from there. Good luck and God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Nonesence

Anonymous said...

Linda u did not post my comment again abi,its not nice o. MERCYBLACK

Anonymous said...

go get checked..pls dont give her HIV

ABOLLY said...

pray to ALMIGHTY GOD to help u out

Anonymous said...

I hate cheap lies, try a better lie bella cus u lied abt ur age nd all if nt u would have represented us in china 4 miss world but ur 2nd did. Bloody ass.

rhymeup said...

I now understand that as a people, we are hypocrites of the highest order. Brother comes out to seek help and some peeps who have worse skeletons are abusing him. GTFOH, this is tough meat issues, chill with your good self and let discerning people advice him. Damn. what the hell is wrong with my people.

Anonymous said...

A whole lots of commentator here are immature and childish. A man was sincere enough to come out and seek your help, rather than help and/or advise sincerely and maturely, majority have cascaded, abused and say all sort even though majority of the accusers are in the same shoe, if not worst as this LIB Reader. Some of you really need to grow up. To the gentleman, a lot of married men are facing the same problem, hence, it is not a problem you can solve by your power or flesh alone.The most important step is to realise what you are doing is wrong and thereafter, identify ways out of it, which is God. Anything solution outside God? Forget it! The bible says "I can do all things through Christ that strenghten me". Avoid places and areas where you may easily be tempted with your weakness. Spend more time with your family going forward, and delete/or change your contact number if possible. God will see you through and best of luck.

Anonymous said...

It's simple always drive home after work! Keep away from hotels and go to joints with ur wife always simple!



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Anonymous said...

let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone. :| you guys should calm down with the critics. the guy has been able to open up and he is looking for how to solve his problem, better than most of you that don't think you need help.
hello bro, thank God you have decided in your heart to change and make a difference, 1st of all i think you need to go on your knees and ask God for forgiveness, and turn yourself totally to him,he will help you, ask him for his mercies he is a merciful God he will give you rest and tell you which way to go, now to be practical about this you need to sit and think about the major reason why you cheat and figure out a way to deal with it. i wish you the best i will pray for you and hope you take a new turn.

Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

Call your wife and confess to her first and go to a bible believing church for deliverance with your wife.

Madu Ugo said...

It is okay .... Dont kill yourself about it rather place yourself on punishment that each time you cheat on her U'll buy her a big gift that will affect ur pocket and budget by the time U do it twice a month it will affect you n wit time it will stop and also put it in prayers

Anonymous said...

Really and truly u have no business being married to that amazing woman, because what you fail to understand s you are not right for her, I don't condone divorce but this is an exception. If you can't change do the right thing and let her go

Anonymous said...

I CAN SEE THAT WE HAVE A LOT OF PRETENDERS AND HOLIER THAN THOU TROLLS ON THIS THREAD. WTF!

Anonymous said...

Fool. May it be like this for you. Ode!

Anonymous said...

Dear friend, I thank you for this decision. First and foremost you are under a strange influence that is out to destroy you. Your case is only decribed in Romans 7. What do you do? Make a choice. You can stop if you want to. Ask yourself these simple questions of "Do I pray that my daughter experience this? If my wife knows, how would she feel? Do you want to live with the pains? Now, get out of this habit. Make a choice and live because your death is close by and you don't need to die, you need to live for your wife and beautiful children. Call me on 08023000934 and let's talk man to man. Once again, congratulations for wanting to come out if you are sincere with yourself.

Anonymous said...

Dear friend, I thank you for this decision. First and foremost you are under a strange influence that is out to destroy you. Your case is only decribed in Romans 7. What do you do? Make a choice. You can stop if you want to. Ask yourself these simple questions of "Do I pray that my daughter experience this? If my wife knows, how would she feel? Do you want to live with the pains? Now, get out of this habit. Make a choice and live because your death is close by and you don't need to die, you need to live for your wife and beautiful children. Call me on 08023000934 and let's talk man to man. Once again, congratulations for wanting to come out if you are sincere with yourself.

Anonymous said...

We have got so many childish people. He's simply asking for an advice on how to stop these escapades and all some people can do is criticize. if you don't have a word of advice please don't comment. God help you Mr unfaithful

Efe said...

Don't mind those people that insult you, they are no better (just saying). At least you are trying to change and that is the first step.... I think you should look at those couple of months you had no affairs and think about the ways u prevented cheating then try to make that more permanent, in order to avoid any relapse ..... Also stay away from situations where you know you are more vulnerable (friends, clubs or places you know promote the habit).
Importantly find someone who you can confide in that could also encourage you when u feel u can't overcome temptation and more importantly try new things sexually with your wife (that might also make it a lot easier).

If you relapse don't give up.... Try try try again. Good luck

Anonymous said...

Testing

Anonymous said...

Please ignore those people that insult you (they are no better) at least you are trying to change.
I think you should look back at the couple of months you stayed faithful and remember how u tried to prevent cheating, so you can make the habit more permanent. You should also stay away from things that might encourage a relapse (friends or places), get someone to confide in who can help you when you feel you don't have the will to resist.
Try new things sexually with your wife (this can be a good replacement for old habits) and lastly if you ever fall don't give up... Try try try again. Good luck

Unknown said...

Man you need serious deliverance... *smh*

Anonymous said...

This man sounds like one who needs spiritual deliverance.it is surely not every woman on skirt that a man should flirt with.more so, that he is married to a faithful woman.A lot of men in this part of the continent can,t just take their eyes off women and that is one of the major cause of divorce and having unwanted children by different women.Nigerian men should learn to be decisive.

Anonymous said...

there is only one way i know to be faithful,it is to cut off that thing in between your leg............. bloody pervert....... linda post my comment or else your bb wld crash

Anonymous said...

there is only one way i know to be faithful,it is to cut off that thing in between your leg............. bloody pervert....... linda post my comment or else your bb wld crash

Anonymous said...

Linda where is my comments

Anonymous said...

@ zeenoh: I completely agree with you..
1. Make up your mind -its a decision that starts the change
2. Pray
3. Keep ur excess cash where you cannot reach it.
4. Rush home, fill up all your free time.
5. Watch where you go to, some places just encourages you to cheat
6. Watch the friends you keep, If most of your friends are single and players or the are married and they see not thing wrong with cheating then most likely you will continue to cheat
7. Choose more faithful husband or singles who believe in one man and one woman as friends.
8. The movies you watch, books you read and music you listen to must encourage faithfulness.
9. Search your heart for what could be missing in your marriage( what attracts me and what do i get from other ladies) and fix it.
9. Create more romantic moments with your wife and ask her to do the same.
10. Renew your decisions every morning not just in your heart alone but to your God and your wife.

God help you IJN.

Ife said...

Tell God, believe He has heard you, get a hold of your thoughts through the word of God...refute every thought with what God's word says and you'll be fine. NB: It may be difficult at d beginning to fight thoughts. *first time commenting on LIB...yippy!

Anonymous said...

First of all, nigerians are the most religious people on earth. At least 70 percent of people on here advised the poor dude to either seek spiritual help or go to Jesus Christ, who is truly the only one that can save him....but all in all, this so called wife that is doing holy holy could also have one sweet boy fucking the shit out of her..and she could just be looking at poor you!!! right now it is Jesus Christ that can save your marriage...like they say in Ibo, Odikwa very Risky!!!

Anonymous said...

Hello Sir,I was once like that.What i have to tell you is that,your situation is so so so so so easy to change by a simple strategy.If you can do this for one month,you will be shocked at yourself.
1.Get 10 pictures of your wife in differnt sizes.
2.Write down these statements in a paper."I love my wife,and i am going to be faithful to her" write it(hand written) 100times.

3.You must read what you have wriiten to yourself 100times everyday when you get to the office.

4.Put your wife's picture everywhere you eye contacts often.eg (back of the wardrobe,the dashboard of your car,your office table.

5 Finally,start wearing the same perfume with your wife.

6.Most important:Spend time everyday imagining spending timme with your wife.Constantly refuse imaginations of you spending time with other women

Sir,Finally,Dont ever try to stop cheating,because in trying,you are registering that act in your consiousness,and anytin you often get conscious of,you will constantly attract.

This will greatly help you.God bless you sir!

Anonymous said...

My guy enjoy urself,life is short

Anonymous said...

Hypocrites criricising the man, he who has not sinned should cast the first stone. You judge him? Some of you are paedophiles, you're involved in Bestiality, you sleep with your wives friends yet you open your mouth to Judge? How dare you?
I'm a woman and I totally disagree with his actions but he's willing to change that is why he has asked for help.
Young-man, u're not the only one who has sinned, all have sinned. Ask for forgiveness, God definitely will forgive you. Don't condemn yourself and don't let the hypocrites who have earlier commented to weaken your spirit. Speak to your Pastor, he'll help you through it. God bless you.

***Lush said...

So you made it through three months in 2013 before cheating? Have you analyzed your behavior before and after? Like, how did you stay away from other women and then how did you fall back into temptation?

I think the first place to start is by analyzing your behavior and taking a critical look at yourself.

You need to be honest about WHAT makes you cheat. Is it a woman with a big butt? Or one with a big bust? Is it because you haven't had sex with your wife lately? Or sex with your wife is not satisfactory? Are you cheating to release work-related stress?

OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE OUT WITH YOUR BOYS????

If there is no actual reason (an external factor that triggers you), then there are only two conclusions: 1) You're a sex addict and/or 2) You just like cheating on your wife which also means that you are a sex addict.

If you're the spiritual type, then you need time fasting and praying.

Personally, I prefer realistic solutions to real-life issues like this. If you are of means, find a medical professional who has extensive experience in the area of sex addiction. Reputable hospitals in the United States list their doctors and their specialties. Making a phone call is better than sending an e-mail in situations like this. . Then set-up virtual therapy sessions via Skype or phone.



***Lush

Anonymous said...

i hate it when peoples response to this kind of topic is pray? i believe in prayers, but u guys b real 4 once. all of u dat pray and carry church on your head still cheat. infact u r worst. bruv d only help u need is you. determine to stop and b firm on it. get counselling aswell. its all a state of mind. u can always stop if u want to

Anonymous said...

I'm no expert but I think if he truly loves his wife, he should open up to her. She deserves that. If she truly loves him together and with God, they can both work towards the solution. It won't be easy, it'll take time, sacrifices, self-control, complete dedication, patience and prayer as well as a radical change in lifestyle. Good luck.

victor ibe said...

my brother , what your going through is more spiritual than physical, your possessed with the spirit of whoredom, you need to rise up and fight the spirit, it operates in such a way that u cant resist it each time it comes, am sure u must hv vowed severally, but u still find urself deepening into it. you need to resist d devil each time it comes, you need a higher spirit to subdue the evil spirit, u need to be born again and then empowered wt d holyghost,who is the spirit of holiness. He enable you to flee adultery, he enables you to think of those things that are pure, he enables you to live a sanctified life. there is the mystery of Godliness, which d cure for the mystery of iniquity. GET BISHOP OYEDEPO'S BOOK TITLED =CONQUERING CONTROLLING POWERS. God will see you through

Anonymous said...

U need deliverance bro coz ur possessed wit spirit of fornication n adultery. U will not stop until u get HIV. Pray hard

Dee said...

U'RE A BIG FOOL SERIOUS ADVISE KILL U, DONT CONTROL UR HORNY SELF OH, JUST COME HERE AND GET UR 2 SECS FAME STUPID ASS HOLE. CUT UR DAMN DICK OFF DEN EWU............

Anonymous said...

I think you should imagine your wife cheating. Then you will stop. For all u no, she probably is......

Anonymous said...

For all u know she is cheating as well.

Anonymous said...

First confess to your wife, ask for forgiveness...it's hard but it's d right step, she may forgive you immediately, she may not right away, but make sure you tell her the plain truth, no extracting no addition... After that you go to God on bended knees for forgiveness, tell him you need His help and trust he will give it to you, you do have a major weakness bt not to worry that's why Jesus died for us to help us where we are helpless... I wish you all d best.

Unknown said...

I just have one advise for you: Get born again. This is a satanic influence over your life to destroy the beautiful future God has given you. He wants to ruin you. Imagine the kind of blessing God has given u - a good home, probably a good job and all that. And you want to destroy all that by sleeping around and committing fornication. The next thing now will be that he will find a way to give u one disease. Beware bro. Repent and start attending a bible believing church.Seek the counsel of good men of Godand pray and fast for yourself. u SHALL overcome.Godbless

Anonymous said...

if u can not be faithful to her then ur sick and bewitched, pls go to ur village and source where ur problem is from, is probably may be all the woman u broke their hearts in time passed that are causing ur problem. lolz.

veeon said...

I know what you mean.. I loved my boyfriend but i stayed cheating.. Prayer and Strong will will help you get through it. I did confess tho.. and now i have been faithful for 9 months.. which is an achievement to me considering the fact i used to cheat every week..

Anonymous said...

my dear i think and suggest you take this totally to God its more than a physical thing

Anonymous said...

Realizing u have got a good one and don't mess things up to lose her!duh!!!!

Yetunde said...

This must be hard for you, and kudos to you for confronting a problem and being public with it that is half the battle. This is where the for better or worse part of your vow now has a chance to help you both grow. May I make a suggestion? First say a prayer cuz you are about to do one of the hardest things you will probably ever do in your life. Then find the best couple's counselor you can pay for. If she is as wonderful as you say, then the price you pay to fix your marriage and relationship is nothing compared to what this will bring you. Then be prepared to loose everything with the understanding that all is and will be as it should be. Sit her down. tell her how much you love her all that she means to you. That should take you at least 2 days or even 3. (DO NOT BACK OUT) cuz you will be tempted to fool yourself into thinking that you can fix this on your own. Then you let her know you have a challenge you hope she can go through with you. (Tell her everything but if she asks for details, DO NOT go that deep). Her asking will simply means she is looking for more ways to hurt and hold on to things. She will hurt, she will cry and she will probably want to leave you. Let her go through all that. She needs to. even if it takes months, left her. 3-6 months of her working thru how she feels is worth the many years you will spend together once this is fixed. Then once you get a vulnerable moment, (cuz you will), pay attention and tell her you want to go to therapy with her and that you really want to fix this. You will be surprised she might be the secret to helping you work on this challenge, and all these years you've been thinking you could fix it on your own. Then proceed to forgive your own self for bringing harm against your own body and spirit, harm against your soul-mate, harm against your home, harm against your family. It may take you time. But, it is so important to forgive yourself. And understand that what you think will not hurt your wife or kids because they don't know, is a LIE. All the things we do in life affect us and those we love. You DO NOT want your karma to come to your children. They deserve better. They do not need to pay for your transgression. Before you begin all this, you must REALLY TRULY want to change this. I wish you well and hope that you grown and learn from this.Good LUCK

Anonymous said...

Cut your DICK OFF!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Love ur comment.

Anonymous said...

I was once dating a married man. we were in love, lust or like watever LIBers want to call it after I broke up with him, a painful decision but I cldn't be a second wife, I realised the reasons he cheated
1. He had friends who did and since he was in his late thirties and successful, he felt it was his right
2. He let his wife grow old. I mean take your wife places

But then he was a good man who had an affair yours is kinda serious hence I suggest you;

Find out about sexual addiction and how to break it. You might need therapy

Get a good friend to hold you accountable. You know how girls announce they are on a diet so their friend's can remind them anytime they"re about to take too much calories?

Remind yourself all the time 'Cheating is wrong and I am not a cheat'
and please if you do slip once in a while, don"t beat yourself up just move on towards your goal.

LIBers please don't spend so much energy analysing why I dated a married man or insulting me. The man asked for advice and I gave him one

JSBunny said...

Nice reply

JSBunny said...

I'm sure him tory don get k-leg that's why he's coming here on LIB to sound like pathetic. I get one for house, he will never change!!!

Anonymous said...

Firstly how can you cheat on you wife and she wouldnt know for 7 years. shes obviously doesnt know you or is observant. Secondly it seems you have a problem and its only God that can deliver you. Human advice is foolish. your advice is God. say no more.

Anonymous said...

Realizing it is wrong cheat and wanting to stop is a big step. Proceed confidently and prayerfully. Spend more time with your wonderful family and temptation will slowly evaporate.
Best wishes
Lady A

Anonymous said...

FYI...the reason we have so much hate in this world is bcos theres no love.this man as done nothing by seeking for opinion/help of others n some silly asses still abused him.guess dem angry babes here just feeling defeated cos hes one of the good guys leaving ya cellulite/juju ass back to his wife.go man!u can overcome ur addiction spiritually and mentally.im a lady n i knw how u feel.cheers

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to see all the negative comments you have received. Being raised in a culture where men are excused for being unfaithful I can understand why faithfulness and self discipline is new territory for a married man of 3 years. I commend you for wanting to change and I believe it starts with removing your self from situations that may tempt you while simultaneously drawing closer to your wife and family.

1) Change your routine: Where do you find these women ever willing to sleep with a married man? Is it through your friends? Do you meet them at bars? Try to change your scenery, hang out less with friends that do similar things and try to seek people with the qualities you desire in yourself.

2) Devise a system to check yourself: In recovering from any habits its important to develop a support system. Whether it is friends to keep you in line, people you can talk to when you stray. Maybe even a chip system like they do in Alcoholics Anonymous so you can track your progress. It doesn't matter if you have been faithful for 5 years, it is still very easy to get back to 0. I believe in God but I think Nigerian churches are rid with corruption so its personally not my cup of tea but if you are religious you can find support in your religion and church community.

3) Honesty is crucial to recovery: Why do you think you cheat? What is it that you dont find in your marriage? Was your father unfaithful to his wife (wives)? Be honest with yourself first then you can begin to work on being honest with others.

4) Keep busy: Dont give yourself the opportunity to cheat. When you are not working take up other hobbies or try to spend more time with your wife and children. Plan family activities and just stay busy. You can multiply your potential and get closer to your family.

5) Talk to your wife: Share your days with your wife. This can also serve as a check system. Make sure she knows always what you are up to. Secrecy supports unfaithfulness. You can start slow giving her access to more and more details of your life as you continue. I can understand if you dont want to tell her about the past women but chances are, she already knows. Remember, honesty is crucial to your recovery.

I wish you luck in your quest. I hope you find my comments amidst all the negativity.

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