'My father died because of an extra-marital affair' Fela Durotoye shares emotional story | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Monday 29 September 2014

'My father died because of an extra-marital affair' Fela Durotoye shares emotional story

In an emotional interview with Samuel Olatunji of iCampus, motivational speaker, author, CEO of Visible Impact (Management consulting firm) and husband of make-up entrepreneur Tara Durotoye, Fela Durotoye opens up for the first time about how his professor father left his mum for a nursing student and died just as he was about to leave his mistress and reconcile with his wife. The woman later confessed (after running mad) that she killed his father. Read what Fela said below...
My father died because of an extra-marital affair. He had a great marriage but at one point in time he cut it off and left his home, few years later he died. He even died some days to when he was supposed to return home to my mother. He died a mysterious death because the lady said, if I will not have you, nobody will. Few years later, the woman ran insane and was saying all over that she killed my father. So now that I’ve seen what a strange woman can do to a man, it makes sense to stay in one place so I don’t put so many life at stake.
He died in 1982, I was 11 years old. It was so devastating because he went beyond just being my father, he was my best friend. He left home in 1977. I must have been six years old. He was gone for five years. It was at the point where he was trying to get back to his wife that he died in 1982. I never knew what it was like to be a child because my father never treated me like one. I was also his best friend, he used to relate with me like an adult . Even when he left my mum at Ife and was at Ibadan, I used to go to Ibadan every weekend. My relationship with him blossomed till he died. He would send his driver to come and pick me up every weekend. I had to learn how to deal with seeing him and the other woman if I wanted to enjoy my dad. But I was always the centre of attraction every weekend I was with him. The woman was not a major thing I will deal with because my father would give us total attention. Before the separation, my father was a professor in physiology while my mother was a lecturer in Geology.
After he left the University of Ife, he went to set up consultancy firm in medical equipment and so on. My mum remained a professor at Ife. My mum was one of those amazing human beings that you can ever imagine. I cannot tell you how she did it but you can be such that it was God that helped her. And the most difficult part was that watching a man you of loved die in your hands. By the time my father was dying, my mum was right there. He died with his heads in her hands. I do not know how anybody would have done that. Many times my mum said maybe she should not have let him go. She always says that if she knew that the end of the matter would have been that way, she would have followed him with the other woman, she would never let him go. I do not think that my father followed the other woman willingly, it was programmed. It wasn’t natural. I don’t think that he was in his total senses. His siblings were so upset with him, they had to leave him. We should not have allowed him to go into the hands of the devourer.
He used to tell me, don’t worry it is all going to be alright. Meaning that we are all coming back as family. I could see that he always wanted to go back home. His death was one of the most difficult things I had to overcome.
My mum had traveled on sabbatical to Belgium and at one point my father was passing through Belgium. And they had a very short meeting and who knew maybe the signal of the remote control did not get to Belgium. I think somehow the love was rekindled and there was a gentleman, Rev. Faniku who was also in Belgium at that time. He took it upon himself and work on it for almost a year and my dad was almost back to his senses. My mum is incredible brilliant and beautiful. There was no basis for comparison with the other woman who was a nursing student.
Then he fell ill with diabetes but there was no record of diabetes in our linage. He feels sick on Wednesday and died on Sunday morning. He just finished a meeting with my mother and he told the other lady that my mum was coming back home that she has to leave. She told him if she will not have him than nobody will (kaka kekumajesese, afisawadanu). By evening he had come down with a flu. By Monday he was already really sick, by Tuesday he was in the hospital and my Wednesday he was dead.
I have never talked about my dad like this before, I don’t know why I am doing it with you. You must be very special. I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman. I saw the joy of a successful marriage and I saw the pain of an unsuccessful one. I choose i will go for the joy of a successful marriage. Before my wife and i got married we went to pray and tell God that none of the things that happened in our parent’s marriage would happen in ours. We have tried so far.
Before the separation, they won the couple of the year award twice on campus. My father was an incredible brilliant man. He was the youngest professor in Nigeria as at when he became a professor in 1976. He was 35 or 36. My mum was beauty and brain. They were the happiest couple you can never imagine together.
A mistake of falling for a nursing student who was not even in his department caused all sort of troubles

370 comments:

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Unknown said...

so sorry to hear that! lesson to all Nigerian married men noni.

Unknown said...

May he rest in p Eongrillz@gmail.com

Unknown said...

wow..Nice..

Unknown said...

Big lesson for all of us. Jemmygentle@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm, this is so touching but interesting

eseleborfaith@gmail.com said...

I hpe guys will learn from this story....learn to b contented wit wat u hav

Unknown said...

Such a wise man...mistakes of our parents should not be repeated that's a way of improving society

Anonymous said...

Eiyaaaa. beemmaaa@gmail.com

goldeneye said...

1st to comment..hmmmm....
. My email goldeneyectinc@gmail.com

popoola Desola said...

ehyah

Unknown said...

Pele.

Anonymous said...

Eyhaa, 1st to comment @ abrahamyoung23@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

Rachybee@gmail.com,oR,07062071116.

Anonymous said...

Eeyah ! Polygamy not a good thing... Flowzzykingin@gmail.com

beauty said...

Its a pity. Beautymadu90@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Sorry boss

Anonymous said...

Painful ! Flowzzykingin@gmail.com

Bishop Dammy said...

Seek God's face in all situation even when it comes to marriage. Avoid the strange woman and you would live a peaceful life. Prov 31:10. BishopDammy#

Anonymous said...

Thoughtfull, essential.that our young people read this.Baba Eko . regenesisuk@yahoo.com

Everything Rosham said...

Lesson.. Do nt marry more than one wife if u aint gat energy or mind to..

Anonymous said...

Eeyah! What a lovely mom and caring wife your old man missed,sorry bro! adebisiadebowale82@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Eeyah! What a lovely mom and caring wife your old man missed,sorry bro! adebisiadebowale82@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Eeyah! What a lovely mom and caring wife your old man missed,sorry bro! adebisiadebowale82@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Smh..sorry but e don tey na, no chuk eye for the matter again..

Anonymous said...

Yayy.... 1st to comment. Email: zainnygiss@yahoo.co.uk

BONARIO NNAGS said...

"I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman"
Hmmm so true brother. May God save us from them.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Bishop Dammy said...

Seek God's face in all situation even when it comes to marriage. Avoid the strange woman and you would live a peaceful life. Prov 31:10..Prov 18:22. BishopDammy#

waplegend said...

Advice to young married men of this age

Anonymous said...

Extra marital affair is very common in yoruba land. Next plz

Anonymous said...

too bad,pray u dnt do d same,cos das wats in vogue 4 men of dis days. 1st to comment.madonnaobute2000@yahoo.com.0028581227,diamond bank.

BONARIOS BABY said...

How I wish this will happen to all men that hv extra marital affairs, then dis world will be a better place cus men will keep deir ass in 1 place. Shady2link@yahoo.com

Nuttyprince said...

*singing * beware of a woman with a broken heart....some women out of desperation can be diabolical

Anonymous said...

It's painful. The word of God has said it all, may our hearts be guarded against any strange woman's heart IJN. topezes@yahoo.co.uk

Anonymous said...

Lesson for the men

Unknown said...

andrewakinmoyo@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

First to comment...lizzyyajir@gmail.com

Unknown said...

What's a memories to recall
An experience to deal with & also to learn from. Thanks for sharing cos learning in one way/ the other...

BORN TO SHINE!!!

okiezman said...

Ok. Okesimaa@gmail.com loL

Anonymous said...

First time commenting on here.. garretakpale@gmail.com

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Damn... Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com..
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Unknown said...

OOH REALLY, GOD HELP US...LINDA PLSS POST MY COMMENT OOO...AM FIRST TO COMMENT.

Cloud9 said...

ThabkGod for your life .. Kelly.stanley735@gmail.com

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
This story is really interesting..... Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Unknown said...

That's sad...

Anonymous said...

hummm men learn ur lesson o....darmey610@gmail.com

Ladies man said...

franado1979@yahoo.com

stones said...

Sorry Bro.
erugoprecious@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Extra marital affairs brings destruction. Email is amyviviano@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

1st to comment. Mikky4manu@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

sad and oh lovely Linda i need to win this i have been an LIB reader for years now mikedave147@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Some man ll neva desist frm that act even tho they married d most beautiful woman in the universe.first to comment(princessdessy20@yahoo.com)

beauty said...

Men u better listen. Beautymadu90@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

thank God its in d past now; u av to learn frm his mistake; onukwube5@gmail.com

MrsBankyW said...

Hmmm. I leanrt that no matter how gifted you are your destiny can be truncated by a woman..#Deep 100th to comment cassey.matthews@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Men should learn from this ooo. Anyways first to comment. Paultheballerno1@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Lessons taken....viktur4u@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

ORDER FOR YOUR AUTHENTIC JERSEY (UK) + SUED PRINT....PIN # 2182fdfa.....HOLLA # PJS

Anonymous said...

eiyah sorry fela my man.tobiosinubi@yahoo.com

nene said...

Too long, next time make it brief ok. nenemba2014@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Such is the story of most Yoruba men. They value mistress more than the woman they call wife. Adultery to them is a normal thing both female and male. Our ladies don't mind being a second wife irrespective of her level of exposure and education.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmm

Anonymous said...

Hmmm ayobami.abifarin@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

hmmmn.....what a story,
I respect this man a lot,my mentor, my boss,my very own roles model,(in funke Akindele's voice).

Amery said...

eeyah!! so touching *crying uncontrollably
(nnejiamaka@ymail.com)

Anonymous said...

that is touching....Rip to ur father

Unknown said...

extra-marital affair is deadly

Anonymous said...

Trendyiphie10@gmail.com

mercy said...

Am yet ppl will still not learn

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Anonymous said...

Nawa ooh

Bamidhele said...

The evils of the female

Unknown said...

HMmmmmm!! Men shey una don hear? Ifeomatundeasolo@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

oh my God
richard107smith@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

oh so sad
richard107smith@yahoo.com

|ayo| said...

awwwn..really touching...this is so inspirational..shey una don hear now

@___ayo

Itohan Ogbebor said...

good to know that some men are still faithful

Unknown said...

The truth is that you have learnt from your father's misfortune and your wife will be the one to enjoy it cos you sef go de fear... lolzz

Anonymous said...

It is advicable to marry one wife. However, it is well.

Dotted lines said...

Men take note......

osujichijioke said...

This goes a long way to portray the dangers of extramarital affair and what trauma it could inflict on other family members. So much lessons to be learnt.

Unknown said...

Touching story...is something u and I shud learn from..it all boils down to the saying: women can make or break u it depends on the path u take..

Anonymous said...

So pathetic!!! I better win dis moni o! nkworld@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

sad story , marriage need God and prayer always

Anonymous said...

The key word there."no matter how gifted u are ur destiny can be truncated by a woman"....ohiorenuanr@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Eiya so sad..dats d dividend of unfaithfulness...I rep one wife..nuclear family tinz

Unknown said...

wow! that's deep.

Unknown said...

unbelievable
mikedave147@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Are you really sure daz d reason for his death??....ssdyney4all@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, wat a touching story. May his soul continue to rest in peace. Finsoprecious@yahoo.com

jasmine said...

There's more peace nd unity in a nuclear family than polygamy. God help our marriages and relationships.

jasmine said...

There's more peace nd unity in a nuclear family than polygamy. God help our marriages and relationships.

buchi said...

wow so touching indeed.the lord bless you for sharing

Anonymous said...

On Point. May your days be long Fela.God Bless you and your family

Anonymous said...

well am a victim of this too.... Joshuaanyanna@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Eeya,so touching,lesson to u guyz

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm.. yemightbabe@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Contentment pays
#reallessonsfromlife
Pallaputa@ymail.com

Unknown said...

Dats what can happen if a man is not in Christ Jesus.... I pray all this destiny killers will b far frm us IJN...

Unknown said...

what's with the long skirt and high boots hun..........fashion gone wrong if u ask me

Anonymous said...

Cool hope im first. liltolu2003@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

A story for men to learn from

Unknown said...

Trust mi fela I fill your pain but I tell you even with this people won't change like I usually say men will still be men. So would women.

Unknown said...

a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
.
Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com.
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Ekwymama said...

What a touching story. Those that have ears listen.

Dee Tee said...

... Lessons for every man not to indulge in extra marital 'palava'

Anonymous said...

Zines143@gmail.com

Unknown said...

really an emotionalpiece but also a great lesson for young men who feel that the woman outside is pleasure but the one inside is homefront,you can never eat your cake and have it.
sameolge82@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Pity. Mohammedaudu37@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hmmm,a very touching n emotional story......queenblesn88@ymail.com.

Anonymous said...

A touching story. It pays to be faithful,there's no love like that within d realm of marriage. isiaka208@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

i really can relate to this as my dad too just woke up one morning and skipped, leaving 5 kids behind. None of us saw or heard from him again for 14 years when he decided to come back, just when the youngest of the five was gaining admission into the university. He lives a lonely live now as none of us can really relate to him anymore, i feel sorry for him always and this has really taught me a good lesson about abandoning the wife of your youth

Anonymous said...

it is well folashade70@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Wen a family is divided, d children suffer more..i av learnt 4rm dis story..staying put 2 ur family is d best ever..miller6520@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Wow so many homes has been recked by strange women. Why ending the mans life when she knew he was married with kids. Some ladies are set out to destroy happy homes and great people. Thank God u learnt from this and I wish many men will learn too. Married men live single ladies alone so they can concentrate and choose a single guy to settle down with.

Anonymous said...

Of a truth,we must learn to guide our home with all we got,it will b so bad 2 bring strange pple Bcos dey will only destroy. Kelechionyekachi50@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord bless me with a proverbs 31 woman and open my eyes to love and appreciate her so that no strange woman can separate us, Amen!

Anonymous said...

sad

Anonymous said...

really heart breaking

LYNNE said...

Praying for good wifes 4 all good husbands- Amen. ogooakpa@yahoo.com

Annie said...

Hmmmmm... so touching. GUYS, BEWARE.
jochienuel@gmail.com

Annie said...

Hmmmmm... so touching. GUYS, BEWARE.
jochienuel@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

eeya quite inspiring....
flabby122@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

wow shocking story,linda make this giveaway touch me ooo i don dey pray put(ngobella2002@yahoo.com)

Anonymous said...

Ehya...polygamous life palava....benray53@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

a wise choice you have made sir..may God honour your faithfulness..i wish my own who also is a victim of a home scattered by infidelity can read this and change because he is doing same thing in his home

Reggys Beauty And Fashion Worlds said...

Na wa o,men shey una dey read am so

Unknown said...

What a sad ending. Glad you prayed against it in your present marriage to your wife. Affliction shall not arise a second time in your family.

Anonymous said...

hmmm thanks for sharing yur papa story..tohraj@outlook.com

Unknown said...

What a sad ending. Glad you prayed against it in your present marriage to your wife. Affliction shall not arise a second time in your family.

Anonymous said...

Guys una don hear am...cossy_4luv@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

What a sad ending. Glad you prayed against it in your present marriage to your wife. Affliction shall not arise a second time in your family.

Niger delta babe said...

Fool let the dead rest in peace , yet you are still bearing his name , did you have to add insult to injury ? Bet you , you are trying to deal with your step brothers and sisters abi ,ode who doesn't know strange women are home wreckers .
Hope you are happy with yourself : motivational speaker that does not know his limits . Don't know you or anyone near you but you ought to have let sleeping dogs be , cause I didn't really see the point .of calling you fada out .

Unknown said...

Lesson for you bro..

Anonymous said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing this lesson teaching story. I just hope men would learn from this and some women too. Amakacyn@yahoo.com.

Anonymous said...

Women sha..it is well
anyichieonyedika32@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Women! Once u fall into the hands of the bad ones, you are finished for life.. That's the mistake most men make in this life.. maxdon4real2000@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

awe sad sad story(ebubsababa@gmail. com)

Jostus is here.. said...

How is that my business????? Jzjuninho4@yahoo.co.uk

Anonymous said...

chai(ebubsababa@gmail. com)

Anonymous said...

Men u all nid to b careful,nd women who ar desperate for other peoples husband,go nd find ur hubby ,women thou ,such a sad story#bebo ,vivio4u2envy@yahoo.com

Naija babe said...

Hmmmmm..... I guess ders a mix-up somewhere. Men!!!! He probably had 50 more years to live, but he cut his own life short because of ife di nukwu(waist matters). Na wetin eye dey find e go see.
Dear men, love ur wife, take of her. A happy wife = a happy life. Dont complicate ur life. Be contented with what you have. If your wife seems to have lost her beauty due to child birth, help her get it back. Register her at the gym, take her to swim, take to the spa, be her escort when she wants to run the streets in the mornings, assist with the house chores, get her a maid so that she dosnt spend all her time doing chores. Be there for her and stop complaining about her boobs and tummy. You want her to bear you children yet you want her to look like Agbani Darego. Damn you guys. So insatiable. Tufiakwa. I never see.

Anonymous said...

Wow.!
odumchizitere@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled,whoremongers and adulterers and fornicators the Lord will judge. May the Lord help couples to stay faithful always in Jesus' name. oyedeadetutu@yahoo.com

Helen said...

Men una don hear? Ok. helenmissy27@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Wow.!
odumchizitere@yahoo.com

ADMIRE(ike.ozioma@yahoo.com) said...

Story tooo much...
Learn frm ur fada's and kip ur thn inside.. Shikina

Unknown said...

This will be a lesson for us.

Anonymous said...

Sympathetic...andy_bayo@yahoo.com

Uche Emma said...

Adultery is evil.
We must keep sex ONLY within marriage

Unknown said...

Awwwwrrrhh..so touching

Anonymous said...

Eh yah. I think same as mine.

wworldaz@gmail.com

The Sexiest Mother Of This Blog said...

quite bad such a pity

mimi said...

A lesson for all men and as for the women stay fed fast on prayers

Will said...

We can all learn lessons from here oh! stillwill8@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

Awwrhhh...touching

Easy-E said...

Dats y i must try as much as possible to avoid extra marital affair, after my marriage.

Anonymous said...

touchin story...learnt alot...i think i shd fear women frm now on...lol..bt seriously...hv always admired fela durotoye..ryt frm my sch days...17 ways 2 become a high flyer...grt book.

Anonymous said...

Hope u stick to that.

Anonymous said...

wow,wat a story.......obimary16@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

men can do stupid tinz sumtyms.....obimary16@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

super story. bukaino007@yahoo.com

faith philips said...

that was your father... wished all men that cheats would get the same fate....marriage would have been bliss. sorry for your loss though.

Eddy Ogbunambala said...

'' I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman.'' And can also ELONGATED BY A WOMAN.

Cynthia Iyede said...

Hnmmmm

Anonymous said...

Eyaaaaah..abdullahimuhammad62@gmail.com

David Iyke said...

Thank God you did not take after your dad! but still be careful. kelechi360@gmail.com

Unknown said...

Wa ooo stay cool God is on your side you don't have to worry

Anonymous said...

Lesson learnt

ourniyi_706@yahoo.com

OSINANL said...

NA WAOH...

Baby95 said...

wahala..women can do anytin just to get a man tufia.

Unknown said...

TOUCHING STORY, KEEP YOUR HEAD IN ONE BASKET

Anonymous said...

Nurses: causing marital issues since d 70s, mschewww! I hope men are reading this o! There r many strange woman/spirits out there, be careful. Stick to your wife and if your not married, pray for a good wife and seek till you find her.

Unknown said...

May his soul rest in peace, good lesson for the living.

Anonymous said...

What a painful end!crying,may his soul RIP,A Lesson well learnt,thanks.. andy_bayo@yahoo.com

iroko said...

Eyahh...so touching,here U re today to testify,so thank God for U....it a lesson to d youger generation #tubabairoko@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Eeya. May His soul continue to rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

ogo_dike@yahoo.com

Matt said...

This story got me really scared n worried. one needs to be very careful with all this jumping around o. By the way here's my mail add. I need that doe. mattybell2003@yahoo.co.uk

Anonymous said...

What a story, may his soul rest in peace (eleyele1@yahoo.com)

Anonymous said...

Hummmmmmm (eleyele1@yahoo.com)

Unknown said...

Tell them!I don't know why men find it so hard to maintain one woman.
Faceoflib

Unknown said...

He's truly a product of 2 professors... Brilliant and Gifted!

Biojay said...

Everything that happened in our childhood shaped us to what will become of us as adults. I pray your marriage holds forever but do you know sometimes we ourselves discard what we've been desperately holding when life throw us a bitter punch. Your childhood story is like the story of most of us even though it might be different I felt you are writing my story.

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Those girls re very deadly, nursing students, their ass comes with d profession...

Anonymous said...

it started many years ago in one cool garden with just one apple bite

Unknown said...

yay am winning your money

Anonymous said...

I hope guys will read this and learn from it.....nobe every toto una see una must nack .

tyresenet said...

I hope he won't do same thing like his papa........tyresenet@yahoo.com/08034429606

Anonymous said...

This is really touching i must say. But religious apart, sometimes we have hands in the course of our life. Yemyy4love@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Cheating never pays. Inspirational story. Bibiski@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

this is a very touching story....I'm soo sorry he had to go tru all this....some women sha...atir4real@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

Hmmmm. How's the mighty fallen. God help us. Psalm 123:1-4

Anonymous said...

Michaeldavid44@yahoo.com that's there own family stuff jareeee

Justyswt said...

Very touching story. Married men shld learn from this.

Anonymous said...

everything has been ordained brother, good you prayed to God bout Yo own marriage........email:realphumzee@gmail.com

APPLE said...

Yes the Nigerian man's dick will forever cause problems for them. Una own three much.

Unknown said...

Wat a touching story

Swagg isimemen said...

Hmm men of nowadays don't want 2 listen, he end up nw wit death, bestbobby19@yahoo.co

Rhoda said...

Very Pathetic...Men....i hope they learn o! rhoda2k1@yahoo.com

Unknown said...

mayisondatop@gmail.com.
Linda giveaway is mine today ooo, I dnt wnt to know how u will do it ooo... Fela durotye tho so touching but by the way u luk gud...

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