In an emotional interview with Samuel Olatunji of
iCampus, motivational speaker, author, CEO of Visible Impact (Management
consulting firm) and husband of make-up entrepreneur Tara Durotoye, Fela Durotoye opens up for the first time about how his professor father left his mum for a nursing student and died just as he was about to leave his mistress and reconcile with his wife. The woman later confessed (after running mad) that she killed his father. Read what Fela said below...
My father died because of an extra-marital affair. He had a great
marriage but at one point in time he cut it off and left his home, few
years later he died. He even died some days to when he was supposed to
return home to my mother. He died a mysterious death because the lady
said, if I will not have you, nobody will. Few years later, the woman
ran insane and was saying all over that she killed my father. So now
that I’ve seen what a strange woman can do to a man, it makes sense to
stay in one place so I don’t put so many life at stake.
He died in 1982, I was 11 years old. It was so devastating because he
went beyond just being my father, he was my best friend. He left home
in 1977. I must have been six years old. He was gone for five years. It
was at the point where he was trying to get back to his wife that he
died in 1982. I never knew what it was like to be a child because my
father never treated me like one. I was also his best friend, he used to
relate with me like an adult . Even when he left my mum at Ife and was
at Ibadan, I used to go to Ibadan every weekend. My relationship with
him blossomed till he died. He would send his driver to come and pick me
up every weekend. I had to learn how to deal with seeing him and the
other woman if I wanted to enjoy my dad. But I was always the centre of
attraction every weekend I was with him. The woman was not a major thing I will deal with because my father would give us total attention.
Before the separation, my father was a professor in physiology while my
mother was a lecturer in Geology.
After he left the University of Ife, he went to set up consultancy
firm in medical equipment and so on. My mum remained a professor at Ife.
My mum was one of those amazing human beings that you can ever imagine.
I cannot tell you how she did it but you can be such that it was God
that helped her. And the most difficult part was that watching a man you
of loved die in your hands. By the time my father was dying, my mum was
right there. He died with his heads in her hands. I do not know how
anybody would have done that. Many times my mum said maybe she should
not have let him go. She always says that if she knew that the end of
the matter would have been that way, she would have followed him with
the other woman, she would never let him go. I do not think that my
father followed the other woman willingly, it was programmed. It wasn’t
natural. I don’t think that he was in his total senses. His siblings
were so upset with him, they had to leave him. We should not have
allowed him to go into the hands of the devourer.
He used to tell me, don’t worry it is all going to be alright.
Meaning that we are all coming back as family. I could see that he
always wanted to go back home. His death was one of the most difficult
things I had to overcome.
My mum had traveled on sabbatical to Belgium and at one point my
father was passing through Belgium. And they had a very short meeting
and who knew maybe the signal of the remote control did not get to
Belgium. I think somehow the love was rekindled and there was a
gentleman, Rev. Faniku who was also in Belgium at that time. He took it
upon himself and work on it for almost a year and my dad was almost back
to his senses. My mum is incredible brilliant and beautiful. There was
no basis for comparison with the other woman who was a nursing student.
Then he fell ill with diabetes but there was no record of diabetes in
our linage. He feels sick on Wednesday and died on Sunday morning. He
just finished a meeting with my mother and he told the other lady that
my mum was coming back home that she has to leave. She told him if she
will not have him than nobody will (kaka kekumajesese, afisawadanu). By
evening he had come down with a flu. By Monday he was already really
sick, by Tuesday he was in the hospital and my Wednesday he was dead.
I have never talked about my dad like this before, I don’t know why I
am doing it with you. You must be very special. I learnt that no matter
how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman. I saw the
joy of a successful marriage and I saw the pain of an unsuccessful one.
I choose i will go for the joy of a successful marriage. Before my wife
and i got married we went to pray and tell God that none of the things
that happened in our parent’s marriage would happen in ours. We have
tried so far.
Before the separation, they won the couple of the year award twice on
campus. My father was an incredible brilliant man. He was the youngest
professor in Nigeria as at when he became a professor in 1976. He was 35
or 36. My mum was beauty and brain. They were the happiest couple you
can never imagine together.
A mistake of falling for a nursing student who was not even in his department caused all sort of troubles
370 comments:
1 – 200 of 370 Newer› Newest»so sorry to hear that! lesson to all Nigerian married men noni.
May he rest in p Eongrillz@gmail.com
wow..Nice..
Big lesson for all of us. Jemmygentle@gmail.com
Hmmmmm, this is so touching but interesting
I hpe guys will learn from this story....learn to b contented wit wat u hav
Such a wise man...mistakes of our parents should not be repeated that's a way of improving society
Eiyaaaa. beemmaaa@gmail.com
1st to comment..hmmmm....
. My email goldeneyectinc@gmail.com
ehyah
Pele.
Eyhaa, 1st to comment @ abrahamyoung23@yahoo.com
Rachybee@gmail.com,oR,07062071116.
Eeyah ! Polygamy not a good thing... Flowzzykingin@gmail.com
Its a pity. Beautymadu90@gmail.com
Sorry boss
Painful ! Flowzzykingin@gmail.com
Seek God's face in all situation even when it comes to marriage. Avoid the strange woman and you would live a peaceful life. Prov 31:10. BishopDammy#
Thoughtfull, essential.that our young people read this.Baba Eko . regenesisuk@yahoo.com
Lesson.. Do nt marry more than one wife if u aint gat energy or mind to..
Eeyah! What a lovely mom and caring wife your old man missed,sorry bro! adebisiadebowale82@gmail.com
Eeyah! What a lovely mom and caring wife your old man missed,sorry bro! adebisiadebowale82@gmail.com
Eeyah! What a lovely mom and caring wife your old man missed,sorry bro! adebisiadebowale82@gmail.com
Smh..sorry but e don tey na, no chuk eye for the matter again..
Yayy.... 1st to comment. Email: zainnygiss@yahoo.co.uk
"I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman"
Hmmm so true brother. May God save us from them.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Seek God's face in all situation even when it comes to marriage. Avoid the strange woman and you would live a peaceful life. Prov 31:10..Prov 18:22. BishopDammy#
Advice to young married men of this age
Extra marital affair is very common in yoruba land. Next plz
too bad,pray u dnt do d same,cos das wats in vogue 4 men of dis days. 1st to comment.madonnaobute2000@yahoo.com.0028581227,diamond bank.
How I wish this will happen to all men that hv extra marital affairs, then dis world will be a better place cus men will keep deir ass in 1 place. Shady2link@yahoo.com
*singing * beware of a woman with a broken heart....some women out of desperation can be diabolical
It's painful. The word of God has said it all, may our hearts be guarded against any strange woman's heart IJN. topezes@yahoo.co.uk
Lesson for the men
andrewakinmoyo@yahoo.com
First to comment...lizzyyajir@gmail.com
What's a memories to recall
An experience to deal with & also to learn from. Thanks for sharing cos learning in one way/ the other...
BORN TO SHINE!!!
Ok. Okesimaa@gmail.com loL
First time commenting on here.. garretakpale@gmail.com
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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Damn... Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com..
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
OOH REALLY, GOD HELP US...LINDA PLSS POST MY COMMENT OOO...AM FIRST TO COMMENT.
ThabkGod for your life .. Kelly.stanley735@gmail.com
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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This story is really interesting..... Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
That's sad...
hummm men learn ur lesson o....darmey610@gmail.com
franado1979@yahoo.com
Sorry Bro.
erugoprecious@gmail.com
Extra marital affairs brings destruction. Email is amyviviano@yahoo.com
1st to comment. Mikky4manu@yahoo.com
sad and oh lovely Linda i need to win this i have been an LIB reader for years now mikedave147@gmail.com
Some man ll neva desist frm that act even tho they married d most beautiful woman in the universe.first to comment(princessdessy20@yahoo.com)
Men u better listen. Beautymadu90@gmail.com
thank God its in d past now; u av to learn frm his mistake; onukwube5@gmail.com
Hmmm. I leanrt that no matter how gifted you are your destiny can be truncated by a woman..#Deep 100th to comment cassey.matthews@yahoo.com
Men should learn from this ooo. Anyways first to comment. Paultheballerno1@yahoo.com
Lessons taken....viktur4u@yahoo.com
ORDER FOR YOUR AUTHENTIC JERSEY (UK) + SUED PRINT....PIN # 2182fdfa.....HOLLA # PJS
eiyah sorry fela my man.tobiosinubi@yahoo.com
Too long, next time make it brief ok. nenemba2014@gmail.com
Such is the story of most Yoruba men. They value mistress more than the woman they call wife. Adultery to them is a normal thing both female and male. Our ladies don't mind being a second wife irrespective of her level of exposure and education.
hmmmmmmmmm
Hmmm ayobami.abifarin@yahoo.com
hmmmn.....what a story,
I respect this man a lot,my mentor, my boss,my very own roles model,(in funke Akindele's voice).
eeyah!! so touching *crying uncontrollably
(nnejiamaka@ymail.com)
that is touching....Rip to ur father
extra-marital affair is deadly
Trendyiphie10@gmail.com
Am yet ppl will still not learn
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Nawa ooh
The evils of the female
HMmmmmm!! Men shey una don hear? Ifeomatundeasolo@gmail.com
oh my God
richard107smith@yahoo.com
oh so sad
richard107smith@yahoo.com
awwwn..really touching...this is so inspirational..shey una don hear now
@___ayo
good to know that some men are still faithful
The truth is that you have learnt from your father's misfortune and your wife will be the one to enjoy it cos you sef go de fear... lolzz
It is advicable to marry one wife. However, it is well.
Men take note......
This goes a long way to portray the dangers of extramarital affair and what trauma it could inflict on other family members. So much lessons to be learnt.
Touching story...is something u and I shud learn from..it all boils down to the saying: women can make or break u it depends on the path u take..
So pathetic!!! I better win dis moni o! nkworld@yahoo.com
sad story , marriage need God and prayer always
The key word there."no matter how gifted u are ur destiny can be truncated by a woman"....ohiorenuanr@gmail.com
Eiya so sad..dats d dividend of unfaithfulness...I rep one wife..nuclear family tinz
wow! that's deep.
unbelievable
mikedave147@gmail.com
Are you really sure daz d reason for his death??....ssdyney4all@yahoo.com
Hmmmm, wat a touching story. May his soul continue to rest in peace. Finsoprecious@yahoo.com
There's more peace nd unity in a nuclear family than polygamy. God help our marriages and relationships.
There's more peace nd unity in a nuclear family than polygamy. God help our marriages and relationships.
wow so touching indeed.the lord bless you for sharing
On Point. May your days be long Fela.God Bless you and your family
well am a victim of this too.... Joshuaanyanna@gmail.com
Eeya,so touching,lesson to u guyz
Hmmmmmm.. yemightbabe@yahoo.com
Contentment pays
#reallessonsfromlife
Pallaputa@ymail.com
Dats what can happen if a man is not in Christ Jesus.... I pray all this destiny killers will b far frm us IJN...
what's with the long skirt and high boots hun..........fashion gone wrong if u ask me
Cool hope im first. liltolu2003@yahoo.com
A story for men to learn from
Trust mi fela I fill your pain but I tell you even with this people won't change like I usually say men will still be men. So would women.
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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Eddreamzdreamer@gmail.com.
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
What a touching story. Those that have ears listen.
... Lessons for every man not to indulge in extra marital 'palava'
Zines143@gmail.com
really an emotionalpiece but also a great lesson for young men who feel that the woman outside is pleasure but the one inside is homefront,you can never eat your cake and have it.
sameolge82@gmail.com
Pity. Mohammedaudu37@yahoo.com
Hmmm,a very touching n emotional story......queenblesn88@ymail.com.
A touching story. It pays to be faithful,there's no love like that within d realm of marriage. isiaka208@gmail.com
i really can relate to this as my dad too just woke up one morning and skipped, leaving 5 kids behind. None of us saw or heard from him again for 14 years when he decided to come back, just when the youngest of the five was gaining admission into the university. He lives a lonely live now as none of us can really relate to him anymore, i feel sorry for him always and this has really taught me a good lesson about abandoning the wife of your youth
it is well folashade70@gmail.com
Wen a family is divided, d children suffer more..i av learnt 4rm dis story..staying put 2 ur family is d best ever..miller6520@yahoo.com
Wow so many homes has been recked by strange women. Why ending the mans life when she knew he was married with kids. Some ladies are set out to destroy happy homes and great people. Thank God u learnt from this and I wish many men will learn too. Married men live single ladies alone so they can concentrate and choose a single guy to settle down with.
Of a truth,we must learn to guide our home with all we got,it will b so bad 2 bring strange pple Bcos dey will only destroy. Kelechionyekachi50@yahoo.com
Oh Lord bless me with a proverbs 31 woman and open my eyes to love and appreciate her so that no strange woman can separate us, Amen!
sad
really heart breaking
Praying for good wifes 4 all good husbands- Amen. ogooakpa@yahoo.com
Hmmmmm... so touching. GUYS, BEWARE.
jochienuel@gmail.com
Hmmmmm... so touching. GUYS, BEWARE.
jochienuel@gmail.com
eeya quite inspiring....
flabby122@gmail.com
wow shocking story,linda make this giveaway touch me ooo i don dey pray put(ngobella2002@yahoo.com)
Ehya...polygamous life palava....benray53@yahoo.com
a wise choice you have made sir..may God honour your faithfulness..i wish my own who also is a victim of a home scattered by infidelity can read this and change because he is doing same thing in his home
Na wa o,men shey una dey read am so
What a sad ending. Glad you prayed against it in your present marriage to your wife. Affliction shall not arise a second time in your family.
hmmm thanks for sharing yur papa story..tohraj@outlook.com
What a sad ending. Glad you prayed against it in your present marriage to your wife. Affliction shall not arise a second time in your family.
Guys una don hear am...cossy_4luv@yahoo.com
What a sad ending. Glad you prayed against it in your present marriage to your wife. Affliction shall not arise a second time in your family.
Fool let the dead rest in peace , yet you are still bearing his name , did you have to add insult to injury ? Bet you , you are trying to deal with your step brothers and sisters abi ,ode who doesn't know strange women are home wreckers .
Hope you are happy with yourself : motivational speaker that does not know his limits . Don't know you or anyone near you but you ought to have let sleeping dogs be , cause I didn't really see the point .of calling you fada out .
Lesson for you bro..
Wow! Thanks for sharing this lesson teaching story. I just hope men would learn from this and some women too. Amakacyn@yahoo.com.
Women sha..it is well
anyichieonyedika32@gmail.com
Women! Once u fall into the hands of the bad ones, you are finished for life.. That's the mistake most men make in this life.. maxdon4real2000@gmail.com
awe sad sad story(ebubsababa@gmail. com)
How is that my business????? Jzjuninho4@yahoo.co.uk
chai(ebubsababa@gmail. com)
Men u all nid to b careful,nd women who ar desperate for other peoples husband,go nd find ur hubby ,women thou ,such a sad story#bebo ,vivio4u2envy@yahoo.com
Hmmmmm..... I guess ders a mix-up somewhere. Men!!!! He probably had 50 more years to live, but he cut his own life short because of ife di nukwu(waist matters). Na wetin eye dey find e go see.
Dear men, love ur wife, take of her. A happy wife = a happy life. Dont complicate ur life. Be contented with what you have. If your wife seems to have lost her beauty due to child birth, help her get it back. Register her at the gym, take her to swim, take to the spa, be her escort when she wants to run the streets in the mornings, assist with the house chores, get her a maid so that she dosnt spend all her time doing chores. Be there for her and stop complaining about her boobs and tummy. You want her to bear you children yet you want her to look like Agbani Darego. Damn you guys. So insatiable. Tufiakwa. I never see.
Wow.!
odumchizitere@yahoo.com
Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled,whoremongers and adulterers and fornicators the Lord will judge. May the Lord help couples to stay faithful always in Jesus' name. oyedeadetutu@yahoo.com
Men una don hear? Ok. helenmissy27@gmail.com
Wow.!
odumchizitere@yahoo.com
Story tooo much...
Learn frm ur fada's and kip ur thn inside.. Shikina
This will be a lesson for us.
Sympathetic...andy_bayo@yahoo.com
Adultery is evil.
We must keep sex ONLY within marriage
Awwwwrrrhh..so touching
Eh yah. I think same as mine.
wworldaz@gmail.com
quite bad such a pity
A lesson for all men and as for the women stay fed fast on prayers
We can all learn lessons from here oh! stillwill8@yahoo.com
Awwrhhh...touching
Dats y i must try as much as possible to avoid extra marital affair, after my marriage.
touchin story...learnt alot...i think i shd fear women frm now on...lol..bt seriously...hv always admired fela durotoye..ryt frm my sch days...17 ways 2 become a high flyer...grt book.
Hope u stick to that.
wow,wat a story.......obimary16@gmail.com
men can do stupid tinz sumtyms.....obimary16@gmail.com
super story. bukaino007@yahoo.com
that was your father... wished all men that cheats would get the same fate....marriage would have been bliss. sorry for your loss though.
'' I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman.'' And can also ELONGATED BY A WOMAN.
Hnmmmm
Eyaaaaah..abdullahimuhammad62@gmail.com
Thank God you did not take after your dad! but still be careful. kelechi360@gmail.com
Wa ooo stay cool God is on your side you don't have to worry
Lesson learnt
ourniyi_706@yahoo.com
NA WAOH...
wahala..women can do anytin just to get a man tufia.
TOUCHING STORY, KEEP YOUR HEAD IN ONE BASKET
Nurses: causing marital issues since d 70s, mschewww! I hope men are reading this o! There r many strange woman/spirits out there, be careful. Stick to your wife and if your not married, pray for a good wife and seek till you find her.
May his soul rest in peace, good lesson for the living.
What a painful end!crying,may his soul RIP,A Lesson well learnt,thanks.. andy_bayo@yahoo.com
Eyahh...so touching,here U re today to testify,so thank God for U....it a lesson to d youger generation #tubabairoko@gmail.com
Eeya. May His soul continue to rest in peace.
ogo_dike@yahoo.com
This story got me really scared n worried. one needs to be very careful with all this jumping around o. By the way here's my mail add. I need that doe. mattybell2003@yahoo.co.uk
What a story, may his soul rest in peace (eleyele1@yahoo.com)
Hummmmmmm (eleyele1@yahoo.com)
Tell them!I don't know why men find it so hard to maintain one woman.
Faceoflib
He's truly a product of 2 professors... Brilliant and Gifted!
Everything that happened in our childhood shaped us to what will become of us as adults. I pray your marriage holds forever but do you know sometimes we ourselves discard what we've been desperately holding when life throw us a bitter punch. Your childhood story is like the story of most of us even though it might be different I felt you are writing my story.
Those girls re very deadly, nursing students, their ass comes with d profession...
it started many years ago in one cool garden with just one apple bite
yay am winning your money
I hope guys will read this and learn from it.....nobe every toto una see una must nack .
I hope he won't do same thing like his papa........tyresenet@yahoo.com/08034429606
This is really touching i must say. But religious apart, sometimes we have hands in the course of our life. Yemyy4love@yahoo.com
Cheating never pays. Inspirational story. Bibiski@yahoo.com
this is a very touching story....I'm soo sorry he had to go tru all this....some women sha...atir4real@yahoo.com
Hmmmm. How's the mighty fallen. God help us. Psalm 123:1-4
Michaeldavid44@yahoo.com that's there own family stuff jareeee
Very touching story. Married men shld learn from this.
everything has been ordained brother, good you prayed to God bout Yo own marriage........email:realphumzee@gmail.com
Yes the Nigerian man's dick will forever cause problems for them. Una own three much.
Wat a touching story
Hmm men of nowadays don't want 2 listen, he end up nw wit death, bestbobby19@yahoo.co
Very Pathetic...Men....i hope they learn o! rhoda2k1@yahoo.com
mayisondatop@gmail.com.
Linda giveaway is mine today ooo, I dnt wnt to know how u will do it ooo... Fela durotye tho so touching but by the way u luk gud...
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