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Saturday 22 June 2013

Dear LIB readers: I'm 20 years old and pregnant for a married man

From a LIB reader...
I am a 20 year old woman living in the UK and also studying here. My parents have been at war since I can remember and I have to rely on my siblings to take care of me, I am reluctant to ask them though as everyone works hard and times are difficult.
I have had my fair share of horrible boyfriends in the past few years, I have dated so many stingy men that would not give me a penny but I am usually not bothered about this as I don't date men because of their money. I have although since decided to remain single and just have the usual one night stand because I am tired of the constant heartbreak and pain. Until recently.

I recently got introduced to a married man and the initial plan was to have him spend on me, I didn't want to but as I was about to be kicked out of my flat for lack of payments I did what I had to. I wasn't going to go any further with him but he turned out to be really nice. I tried to cut contact with him but unfortunately he had fallen head over heels in love with me. If he doesn't see me or hear from me in an hour he becomes frantic and agitated. He tells all his friends here in the Uk about me, takes me to their houses and introduces me as his girlfriend.

This is a man with a wife and 4 beautiful children whom I happen to know very well through him introducing me to them. He keeps saying he would make me his second wife which of course I don't believe and always has sex with me unprotected despite my refusal. Also he has not given me any more money since he paid my rent for the owed 2 months, any time I ask him he gives one excuse or the other, even paying for my cab to wherever is too much to ask of him. I desperately want to get out of it but now I think I might be pregnant for him.  

I'm so confused about the next step, I'm scared if I tell him I'm pregnant he'll disappear but I also can't take care of a child on my own as I have not even graduated from university. I've thought about going to tell his wife but I'll just be labelled a home wrecker and loaded with all the blame. Please what do I do?

381 comments:

1 – 200 of 381   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Na wa o!

Anonymous said...

ALL I WOULD TO YOU NIGERIAN GIRLS IS PLEASE CHANGE YOUR WAYS

Anonymous said...

•Estrano Lala
'OYO'

Anonymous said...

Just let him know of pregnancy before taking d next step.

Anonymous said...

Do I no wat to tell u? Is dis story for real? @20 u shud be starting life not getting frustrated already!.. U knw wat u re doing!.. Put 2&2 together and right ur life dt u have wreck already!

Anonymous said...

BPAS is your friend!

Anonymous said...

Dis is bad, u hav no choice to let him knw first.

Mumof1 said...

If you know what it means to raise a child in your circumstances then abortion is the best option. It will be a constant struggle and you won't be happy and that child won't be happy. We have enough broken children on the streets. Why do u want to keep it? Why do u want to put that child and u through difficulties? Good luck with ur decision.

Anonymous said...

First of all my dear, u shld av tot of d consequences of dating a married man, having sex wtout protection. Not gd 4 you & now see what uv worked so hard for - pregnancy.

Anyway u are not ready mentally & financially but also note dat d baby didn't ask 2 come, you did. Therefore deal wt it like d adult you are & grow up by taking responsibility of your action.

Maybe when you do dat, you'll appreciate urdo siblings dat have been taking care of you.

Anonymous said...

You are definitely a home wrecker, what do u think the outcome of sleeping with a man without protection is? You played the music,dance to the tune mscheeeeew

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!

Sasha North London said...

What to do? Well, Deal with it ....it's your problem.

You have 2 options... either

Abort the pregnancy,learn your lesson and rebuild your life.

Or

Keep the pregnancy,learn your lesson and face the challenges.

Whichever option you choose, you still have to deal with the consequences of your indiscretion.


Anonymous said...

Go to hell!

Anonymous said...

goat kill urself mumu u no fit advice urself

tuffcookiey said...

I wont say dat u are naive, u r just a wicked girl. What were u thinking sleeping with a married man unprotected? He never gave u wat u wanted but u still stayed.. u had it all planned out... u r a home wrecker! ! You r just looking for people's opinion of support to make sure u r on a right track.. playing the sympathy card.. destroying the home of a woman like u with four kids? You r evil.. a witch frm d pit of hell... u will bear d consequences of ur action by rasing dat baby alone! Dats whn u will understand d pain of another woman with four kids, trying her best to keep her home and surviving the problems dat comes with marriage and being a mother...

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Money was what was keeping you with him, simple! I can't tongue lash you for that at all, and now the money is no more right? You know what to do, and about the pregnancy, go and confirm it first, its obvious he only wanted the pleasures he could get from you, so his accepting you is not an option, so just pray you ain't pregnant, if you are, you would make that "personal" decision to become a single parent or do something about it.

Anonymous said...

You are an an idiot n ashawo. Nonsense

amajessy234 said...

Locate a nearby bible believing church and subject urself for a thorough deliverance session, that's the first step, let's take it from there.

Anonymous said...

Once beaten,2ce....*lips sealed*

Unknown said...

What were you thinking getting involved with a married man and getting pregnant for him. For what its worth i dont think he loves you... i mean he knows your financial probs and still doesnt help out. Tell him your pregnant.. whats d worst that can happen. Its better to know, besides he is the father and the person that insisted on having unprotected sex.

tweety said...

Your sick! And pathetic. You also sound empty upstairs.

porche baby said...

Wen u wia avn unprotected sex did u no wot u wia doin? My dear mix otapiapia (ratkiller) & shaving powder & drink, u'll get a free room in hell/ heaven depends on wia u land dia u can also av ur baby #next#

Anonymous said...

fly

gbemisola said...

May God help you, just stay close to him and he will give you wisdom.

Anonymous said...

Baby i m so sorry 4 u. Fro ur story i can tell dat u dont even knw what u want in life. Too bad

Anonymous said...

You are a learner!!!
Let me first condemn you for dating and having unprotected sex with a married man, rule1: never have unprotected sex with a married man
Rule2: even if you do, use contraceptive and antibiotics after.
Now to a probable solution...
1: do a test and confirm if you are pregnant do not ever assume, do a proper test and confirm
2: do not tell the wife cause you may end up exposing yourself to more problems
3: you can't keep the baby, he doesn't want it and you don't want it either, I know its bad but you have to protect yourself from regret, shame and self hate. I know people will criticise the abortion part, but you don't bring a child to the world to suffer neglect and all sort of un-imaginable things
4: read no1 and don't ever try it again.
Oh and on how to get money from him, cook up a good lie and makes sure he falls for it and you get the money. After that, cut all ties with the man and don't be tempted to go back
#L

Anonymous said...

Abeg carry your cross. UK govt will look after you via child benefit n Child tax credits. What happend to using condom. Girl Aristo kill you lol

Anonymous said...

My dear, u ave made a very big mistake by daring a married man in the first place. i live abroad too and i do part time jobs in order to pay my fees. ive never depended on any man. I have friends in the uk who do part time jobs in order to pay their fees too so what are u talking about? is is that you are too lazy or what. wel abortion is not an option for me so would advice you to go find yourself a job, and take care of your unborn child.

Unknown said...

My dear @ 20 2 bad....u hav 2 tel him

Anonymous said...

My dear o, abortion clinic na d way o!!! If u like listen 2 all these pretentious peeps who will tell u 2 keep it dey won't help u raise ur kid o. My candid advice 2 u is dat u get rid of d foetus b4 d 3mons mark cs after dat na OYO u dey!!!!

Anonymous said...

But u said †ђξ man loves u so I̶̲̥̅̊ suggest u tell him first t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊ know how his gonna react

Unknown said...

Awwww ...u really have to tell him tho Cuz u obviously can't do this on your own..Good luck!

Anonymous said...

U shud av thot of all dis b4 sleepin wit a married man.OYO for u.

Anonymous said...

Abortion is free in the UK. Please shut up and stop being a whore!

Anonymous said...

... ..but your story is contradictory..you say you don't date men for money but at same time was introduced to a married man to spend on you .....if its the same uk all of us are in i think he has enough problem with 4 kids and if wifey finds out she may divorce him and clean him out leaving you with a brokeass scum..... my dear this one na baaaaad market

Anonymous said...

First of all u should be flogged!!! Has unprotected sex with u despite ur refusal? Did he rape u? Common! Run to God for forgiveness and repent (not going back to same habit) God is merciful,ask Him, believe that He will sort u out. Learn to see beyond ur present circumstances. D prob with young girls nowadays is d lust of d eyes, the easy life u dnt hav to struggle for. Know that any man that sleeps with u takes ur destiny and opens doors to all manner of spirits to operate in ur life. I'm saying things u don't want to hear but know that OBEDIENCE IS BETTER THAN SACRIFICE. What goes around comes around. Be Wise people!

Anonymous said...

you should have thought about that in the first place before going to sleep with a married man, do you even have morals?....you said you have been heartbroken in the past, instead of you to go and work on yourself, and think about getting into healthier relationships, you jump into the bed of a married man, and your excuse, is because of money?...wow, you have no value for yourself, do you ever think he would ever take you seriously..."the way you carry yourself, is exactly the way people will carry you"....and pls close your legs to married men, dont forget karma is real!..if you continue this way, someone will do the exact same thing to you, and you will surely know hot it feels then, its never too late to change.

Anonymous said...

hey love i believe you are small S, you knew he was married and you went on, listen i live in the uk too, i know how things are, HARD TIME

i fought hard to make living, i am 27 now but i started living on my own from 15 never committed crime.

Better run to local council and seek advise or call citizen advise.
No time to blame anyone just sort it out now.
Stop messing with your soul, cos it would get worse

serious one.

Chinedu said...

dear,

watch out for part 2

Ariyike Sorinola said...

U r 20yrs n u ve had series of heartbreak? Dear sis ,abeg u no try! Rem u wil b married someday.. So b careful not to ruin someone else's home!

Anonymous said...

Congrats dear!

AnniePUM said...

First of all I would like to ask if you are really 20yrs? "I have had my fair share of horrible boyfriends in the past few years"...na wa sha! At what age then did you start seeing men? Don't know what to say but it seems you are the impatient type. But just put everything in prayer and don't make the mistake of going to his wife because that would make him hate you and unleash the devil in him. Since you said he introduced you to so many of his friends there, why not confide in them and tell them the situation of things if you are really sure that you are pregnant?

Make Money Online Nigeria said...

May God help you.

Anonymous said...

First to comment..hehehe

Anonymous said...

!!..Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ṁ̭̥̈̅̄н☀ Wat do U̶̲̥̅̊ expect wen U̶̲̥̅̊ hav sex without protection?? BABYyyy!! Na wa 4dis mata O°˚˚˚° & he's stingy guess U̶̲̥̅̊ sld

Anonymous said...

You're in England, take up a job part-time if you are in school to put money in your pocket! It is no man's responsibility to act as your father when you are not married to him. Totally ignoring the fact that he is married with a family of his own, do you really expect him to leave them for you. You can also sign up for benefits. There are so many ways to get over being broke in England and keep your dignity.

Anonymous said...

U re already a home breAker,idiot,olorikun,anuofia,husband snatcher!

Anonymous said...

Get lost and u so deserve what's coming to u.Home wrecker.

Anonymous said...

mscheeeew wen u were doing u dint ask our advice oo now ya wa don gass u askn for help. well d ball is at ur court, wat u sow u reap!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm not here to condemn you but my dear u are not a kid anymore the best thing for u is to take the pregnancy out and beg God for forgiveness else if u decide to av the child u will live to regret it..cut him off,face ur studies, take ur stand and go get a job ok...I wish u luck

Anonymous said...

As Human beings we really lyk to live beyond wat we can afford and prove to people around us acting as if all is well.U know truly dat ur lifestyle is far above wat u can afford.Being a student y don't u look for friends who sre a bit better off financially than u and u both live 2gether .U tend 2 share d rent payment also.Secondly,learn to be" Handy"u can learn a skill dat will fetch u income wit dis u don't need ny man 2 pay ur bills for U.Now u ve triple ur Worries.

Anonymous said...

U̶̲̥̅̊ sld be ready 4wats coming, it can go both ways as in he runs or he'll take care of U̶̲̥̅̊ both.. Y get pregnant @dis time &age, d wife will come aft U̶̲̥̅̊ w̶̲̥̅̊ɪ̣̝̇τ̩̩̥ħ a gun & she's right wen U̶̲̥̅̊ stole watz her's & her children's.. Babe its not an easy spot ur in

Anonymous said...

JU̶̲̥̅̊$t̶̲̥̅̊ tell him Đa̶̲̥̅̊τ̲̅ Ʋ re pregenant A̶̲̥̅̊₪D̶̲̥̅̊  wht he will do cos there Ȋ̝̊̅§ •-̶̶•̸Ϟ•̸№ other thing Ʋ will do

Anonymous said...

This ur condition, o critical o,I thought the point of dating d guy was becos u had financial problems, nd now u no even see the money collect, come carry belle on top,I bet dat stupid infatuation of his will disappear d moment he finds out u r pregnant.

Anonymous said...

What were thinking getting involved with a married man and getting pregnant for him. Tell him your pregnant.... whats the worst that can happen. besides he is the father and also the one that insisted on having unprotected sex. Tell him so you know where you stand. If he loves you as he claims then your ok. The earlier the better...

ifyody said...

Baby gurl...all u should have done before now to avoid all these blame u are battling with is to give ur life to Christ and get involved with a religious grp. There u can tell them ur problem and they will help and dat way u have peace of mind. D devils gift comes wit a lot of probs such as d one u re facing now. I am not going to judge ur actions coz we have all fallen short of his Glory but itz not too late now. Go pls and join a religious grp over there and surrender 2 Christ in totality. It won't stop ur pain automatically but it will bring lasting joy. If u re pregnant..keep d baby plz!! Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Hang yourself lowkey

Anonymous said...

Oh girl why naaa??? Can't you get a job??? Shey u see wetin 2months houserent don give U nw...Ur 20yrs old for christ sake...abeg I no knw wetin to tlk again

Anonymous said...

get a job. stop sleeping around for money(which you are not evening getting)

Mummy E said...

forgive me dear, but i really think u re so stupid to have actually dated a married man. what is ur problem? how can u date someone who is married to d extent of getting pregnant. how would u feel if a girl was dating your husband and destroying your home? well, u have made d mistake and thus would live with it.firstly u must ask God for forgiveness and also d man's wife cos u re d intruder dat wanted to destroy her home. u have to tell d man about ur pregnancy. u cannot abort that child. however u cannot continue your relationship with d man whether he accepts ur baby or not. even if he wants to marry u, u have to refuse. cos u wud be breaking a home and most importantly God does not regard u as his wife. his first wife is d one and only dat wud be regarded by GOD. so my dear be strong with ur pregnancy, move on with ur life God will see u through, and some day u will meet ur man. may God give u d strength to make d right decision in JESUS name. AMEN.

Anonymous said...

stupid girl!!!!

Anonymous said...

Them nor dey sell Postinor2 for Jand? There's nothing else to do nau! This ur question even sounds rhetorical as u already know wat d answer shd be! 20yrs old WTF do u want 2 do wit a Baby

otobong said...

Oh dear, your story is so touching. But don't panic. There's always a way out! I think the first thing you should do now is to ask God to guide you and direct your steps and he will surely make a way for you. Also visit a church, meet the priest and explain everything to him. They'll be of help. Don't even think of telling his wife 'cause that would be the worst. Cheers!

anchor said...

go and learn how to take care of baby also lean how to be in a relship witout sex.

Anonymous said...

If u ask me,na who I go ask?..cheatn married men association ona try o.ruining lives since 70s.I'll b prayn for u my sister.ur jst a victim of dez morofuckers.Ann#

Anonymous said...

Close ur legs hoe, oops too late!
This is wrong? 20year old hoe, why wud u be sleeping around with a married man? + ddnt u hear of pills?
Anyways d did has been done! So ild advice u keep the baby, I'm against abortion! U did this so u gotta bear d consequence, berra tel dat married man to giv u correct money! If he doesn't jst gan tel his wife! Shikenna!
;) all d best hunny :*

Anonymous said...

Eeyaa! Kpele!... This should serve as lesson to all the desperate ladies out there. This life is unfair therefore, it has to planned very well.
She is busy looking for a man who can give freely instead working hard for herslf and her future.
Hope someone will learn something from this!

Anonymous said...

U̶̲̥̅̊ are a spoil gal, U̶̲̥̅̊ say U̶̲̥̅̊ don't date men becos of moni,y didn't get a job & be studying(i tot dey do dat abroad) instead of 1 nite stand nw U̶̲̥̅̊ re pregnant pls tel D̶̲̥̅̊ man & keep D̶̲̥̅̊ baby & work hard to take care of urself

CHARMY said...

Did I hear you say, u wanna tell his wife! u must be a very disturbed person.A woman who had 4 beautiful children 4him you wanna go tell about your affair with a man who she believes is faithful to her, Like you said you are 20years 0ld n I believe u knew what you were getting urself into!Use your tongue n count your teeth n leave the wife out of diz mess.

CHARMY said...

Did I hear you say, u wanna tell his wife! u must be a very disturbed person.A woman who had 4 beautiful children 4him you wanna go tell about your affair with a man who she believes is faithful to her, Like you said you are 20years 0ld n I believe u knew what you were getting urself into!Use your tongue n count your teeth n leave the wife out of diz mess.

CHARMY said...

Did I hear you say, u wanna tell his wife! u must be a very disturbed person.A woman who had 4 beautiful children 4him you wanna go tell about your affair with a man who she believes is faithful to her, Like you said you are 20years 0ld n I believe u knew what you were getting urself into!Use your tongue n count your teeth n leave the wife out of diz mess.

Anonymous said...

WOW...that's sad..i dont want to criticize you seeing that u were desperate but of all things to do u went with a married man for money?next time struggle, work hard and God would bless your hustle..In this case, if you abort, you know that's like muder right?well, given that his wife knows u and his kids know u, of course she would label u a home wrecker.. btw just try telling him that you're pregnant for him and see what he says...

@EDDYSYFAR said...

Hang urself

Anonymous said...

So u wanted 2 eat ur cake and hv it? He told u he wuld make u hs second wife and u carried on, wat were u tinking wen u were havng unprotected sex? Pity u tho, but I dnt envy u o! Tell hm u are pregnant and b ready 2 face d consequences. Pls leave d wife out of dis, she didn't tell u 2 date ha husband na, he has finished having series of sex wit u and now he doesn't gv u money again afta paying 4 ur rent ova 2months now! Girls shine ur eyes o! ~Ritty~

Anonymous said...

Just tell him cs U don't av any option

Anonymous said...

So u wanted 2 eat ur cake and hv it? He told u he wuld make u hs second wife and u carried on, wat were u tinking wen u were havng unprotected sex? Pity u tho, but I dnt envy u o! Tell hm u are pregnant and b ready 2 face d consequences. Pls leave d wife out of dis, she didn't tell u 2 date ha husband na, he has finished having series of sex wit u and now he doesn't gv u money again afta paying 4 ur rent ova 2months now! Girls shine ur eyes o! ~Ritty~

Anonymous said...

A man who is married introduces you to his wife and four kids and tells you he'll make you wife number 2? Do you want to be that or not? You give mixed messages my dear. You have 3 options as follows:

Marry him and love with the consequences of your actions
Abort the baby and move on with your life
Have the baby and pray that God provides you with a loving and understanding partner.

You are young and really should be focusing on your studies and making a decent income to enable you live a better life. God bless you!

FAFDYSWIFE said...

Na wa ooo,wht do I say,d did hs bn done,first ask God for forgivness n mean it,u need to let d man knw even if he will run away,till then pray n ask for forgivness.

Anonymous said...

Pray...and you sincerely have to believe in yourself that you can make a change in your own life. No one can help you but YOU, Jesus loves YOU!

Anonymous said...

Smh for you. Have an abortion and leave the man and his family to live in peace, except you really want to marry him.....

Anonymous said...

You are pregnant for a married man? Very good, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

thats Gods punishment for people with long throat and who cannot look for better means of making money,let us turn d tables and u r married and ur husband impregnate some low life and d stupid gal comes to tell u she is pregnant how wud u feel?u have no conscience @ all n just for d records u were avin fun wen he was introducing u as his galfriend dat is devil chooking broom in ur ass hole.n let me make u understand dat wen a man starts making u feel lyk permanent galdfriend no money for u i mean married men. so deal wit it my advice for u takia of urself u can thank me later

Anonymous said...

I live in the uk as well ,and as u have said, times r hard for everybody. MEN r very unpredictable and it's wt dey r eating @ d moment dey knw. U sold be wise enuf to knw dt. Go confirm u r pregnant, God ll help u thru dis.

NK said...

U're a jew gal,carton gal,oshofree,oshogbamgbam,I don't even hv any tin 2 say 2 u.MUMU!

Anonymous said...

Fool...greed. d useless thing is that a fool like this would have commented about Tosin the feminist aswell....

Anonymous said...

Hey, I won't say it was all right to have slept with a married man but we all make mistakes so I understand where you're coming from. Just be strong as I know right now they're a million thoughts running through your mind but please let suicide not be one of them. You're old enough so don't even consider an abortion. Pray first, then summon the courage and tell him. If he stays fine if he goes fine, as long as there's life, there's hope.you also have to tell your family too don't hide it from them. However they take it the did as been done. You have to be strong now. And finally unprotected sex? Be more careful you better thank God its not HIV you got. If he wasn't faithful to his wife how sure are you that you were the only one? Be wise and Goodluck!

Anonymous said...

I just totally hate stories lyk ds,u said u dnt date men fr money yet u dated ds married man hu paid ur bills and despite knowin he had 4children u stil went ahead to av unprotected sex wit him all d tym wit d stupid and hopeless hope dt u'll become his second wife or wat?and u are s'posd to be an educated gal abi u dey drop ur brain fr class? Nw u are pregnant and he's no longer showering cash on u as he used to, do I need to tell u it's bcos he's done wit u? D same reason u hooked up with him which is to pay ur bills is wat u are facin nw, u are broke and PREGNANT!!! U are even worse off than u were b4 meetin him.. Pele. Take hrt,tinz wil work out fyn dts all I cn tell u

MIZBEE

Bad b said...

The mistake of you getting pregnant for him has been made already so all you need to do is pray. You can tell him when he's in an extremely good mood but if he decides to abandon you, let God take control.
Lastly, you need to move closer to your God. Don't let him or any other man touch you until the two of you are legally married. I'm not in support of you being a second wife but if you feel that's the only way out, pray about it.

Anonymous said...

Mehn! This situation really sucks! As sad as it is, I can totally understand where you are coming from. The only thing you can do about this is tell the man. Please do not bring his family into it though. Whichever way he takes it, mistakes happen, you need to move on with your life. Also seek solace in a few trusted family or friends. The bitter truth is that things are going to be more difficult for you now. Pray about it too. God will send you helpers and make a way for you. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

babe u shouldnt hv come here with dis kind of story...people will criticize u to death! Just tell d man u r pregnant for him and see what happens

Anonymous said...

Tell him,keep d baby,don't depend on him,work and go to skol and save before d pregnancy advances.den pray for forgivness and God's direction in life.tk care

Anonymous said...

Off course you are a home wrecker. Why would u tell his wife, na she impregnate u? At the age 20 u've had numerous boy friends and heartbreaks already? You need to focus on your studies and ask God to provide for you. As per ur preggy, me don't know for you. First step is tell the man and then take things from there.
Best of luck.

Unknown said...

Oh dearie! the truth about the topic is that at 20 you shld get pregnant and that's exactly what happened...

secondly, your parents have been at war with each other and you didn't sit back to deal with that same issue so a repeat doesn't come to your own marriage, rather you dived into another home to duplicate the issue in your home, Darling the pregnancy is not a problem its simply seed time and harvest.
Find your root back to the saviour that alone can take the punishment away.

Anonymous said...

Girl from this story I can tell you are still very young and need sometime t mature in the relationship department......I am against abortion..but since you are in UK...Go ahead and do it if you want it ..at least they have good medical facilities...or you can take the risk and tell the man and keep the child...but one thing you have to know my dear...that man does NOT LOVE YOU!.......you are still young ..personally i would say you need to go for counselling ans stay off guys and sex for a while and value/ love yourself first..once you love yourself you want let people take advantage from you....your low self esteem comes from your parents/family ..you seem to be looking for love in other places..which is wrong ..you can get rid of the child if your strong enough to deal with it and then please stay off boys and sex till you graduate and more mature

Anonymous said...

Was d wife aware of ur date? Y were u not protecting urself since u knew he was married? My dear decide on ur fate

Unknown said...

Lyk u said..."u think u might be pregnant" u had better go do a test and be pretty damn sure and if its yes...d best thing is for u to tell him and u both can den decide what to do...buh whatever decision u make...don't think of abortion

Anonymous said...

Shut him out of ur life completely! If u r pregnant for him, b mum about it and God will sort u out. That is a child of destiny. I wld have had a child of 20yrs now if not for abortion. Pls kip the baby.Who knows u may start expeiencing favour!

Anonymous said...

U wil be labeld a hme wrecker!are u nt a home wrecker??

Anonymous said...

Wow. May be u should tell him, who knows ....

Anonymous said...

Shut him out of ur life completely! If u r pregnant for him, b mum about it and God will sort u out. That is a child of destiny. I wld have had a child of 20yrs now if not for abortion. Pls kip the baby.Who knows u may start expeiencing favour!

Anonymous said...

At your age you have dated so many men and they all let you down and you got involved with a married man what do you think will make him different from others he just want you for sex any time he's in need I pray that God will help you out of this ugly situation

Anonymous said...

What do u do? Sit back, Relax n sip a bottle of coke cos u'v done well. Idiot!! Nt evn an atom of remorse 4 ds hideous crime.

Anonymous said...

May the God of Heaven punish the living daylight out of you. You motherfucker. At 20? all this already? infact ehn...am so short of words.

@linda ikeji: I feel you and your friends just come up with stupid stories to keep people interested in your stupid blog. A big shame on u! Idiat.

Anonymous said...

You're very stupid don't you think!!!

Stacey said...

Hi darling,
There's something called 'work'. It's a situation where you do some chores or provide a service and you get paid.
Couldn't you have found a job and paid your bills, instead of following a married man?
A man that doesn't even care about you...smh. Now you are pregnant and clueless.
You seem like a really lazy and selfish person.

Anonymous said...

Stfu u be ashewo

Anonymous said...

walk up to him and tell him your mind rather than keeping it to your self.

Anonymous said...

dear let him know of the situation and see his reaction. you just have to keep the baby. if he really loves you as he claims he wont run away or dissappear into thin air

Anonymous said...

honestly??????????? seriously???????? are you joking me right fucking now?????????? r u fucking for real??????????? are you looking for advice??????????? why r u parents at war?????????? probabbly cos a devil like you wrecked their marriage?? lovely wife and 4 lovely kids and u r still with him, and u intend to marry in future and av a happy home. My prayer for you is that you marry a lovely rich and handsome husband . and of course the same you r doing a more beautiful girl will do with your husband. oloshe, odoku, dem no train u at all o, at 20, u've had lots of bf.... linda how old were in that ur story where some man offered you money then? God will judge u, ruining the institute of marriage... we women sha. that's why i never blame men.

Anonymous said...

He can't claim to be in love with you and refuse to give you money. Tell him you are pregnant for him and watch what happens, if he dissappears then he never really loved. Be strong and move on...

Anonymous said...

I fit borrow u #400 make u take buy pampers down but u go pay me back wit interest.

Unknown said...

I'll advise u 2 tell him dat ure pregnant, even if he's going 2 dump u, tell him 2 giv u enough money 2 take care of d child, don't tell his wife cos u caused it urself, I know he'll surely pay 4 it but don't spoil d woman's mind.

Anonymous said...

D lord is ur strength hon...

Unknown said...

omo c gobe

Anonymous said...

HE HAS FINALLY TAKEN YOU FROM FRYING PAN TO FIRE!!!!!!

Can you see?

FROM NO MONEY TO PAY RENT>>>>>>>>>
TO NO MONEY TO PAY RENT + BABY ON WAY+ SINGLE MOTHERHOOD+ NO MONEY FOR BABY FOOD + NO EDUCATION

I ll pray for you my sister. We need Gods mercy

Anonymous said...

Get smart girl, lives to short, ur way to special for all this senrere....First to comment

bitchplis said...

Go to hell...dat's wat u should do

Anonymous said...

Abort it bitch!

Anonymous said...

can u imagine the rubbish from your mouf? u dated some one cos of money and he just paid for the two rents u wre owing and he stopped dat one no tell u say make u dust ur slippers run u still evn allowed ursef get preggy for him na God go punish u oooo u are the kind of gilr dat allows men thinks all girls are the same msheeeeeew what r u goin to tell his wife? if na mi na hot water i go pour u i swear down oshisko rubbish

Anonymous said...

This is a tough situation u are entangled in. U just have to let him know about the pregnancy but for his wife, DO NOT attempt to break the news to; if u dnt want ur head broken. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

R u seriously askin of what to do wen u knw d rite tin to do,except u r lyin abt him nt takin care of u any more nd if he's nt givin u wat u nid to take care of urself...o baby u go use skirt take back ur pickin..

Anonymous said...

Dis is serious. U got no choice. Confirm d preggy first na coz frm ur story u r nt even sure if u r .if u r really preggy then let him know after all he doesn't giv u any tin again so he's as good as nt existing in ur life. Come to tink of it y dnt u jst look for a small job in order to takia of ur sef, no matter hw small it is. It is well ooo

Anonymous said...

Are u asking Us, what you should do? When u were parading yourself about, claiming to be his mistress, did u ask anybody? When u were having unprotected sex with another woman's husband did u ask for permission/advice, so face the consequence alone & stop disturbing people with your problem, also remember Law Of Karma awaits you, Mama B!

Unknown said...

u cant take kia of a child but u ar eatin raw Kondo..o ti loyun

Anonymous said...

Truth is you've made some mistakes and now you've got to face the consequences. If it turns out you are pregnant, tell the man. If he runs, then you are in deep shit. By the way, if he always wanted unprotected sex, why didnt/dont you use a pill. You've made mistakes, gladly face it with thanksgiving. ~ Breeze

Anonymous said...

Babe,u better look .fr a drug n take to terminate d pregnancy . Yes,no body holy pass. This man will dumpu like a rag. Already, he's aacting funny...baby things s .nt a 1 day thin, don't punish d baby by bringing it to the world meeehhnn. U .nt d first n u won't b d last.

Anonymous said...

You want to go and tell his wife ? I don't even know where to start with you! You are sleeping with a married man without protection? Really? You must be related to bisi ibidapo ope!! Dunce of life!!!

Anonymous said...

Go to the doctor and "press eject madam", then move the fuck on with ur life, no road there....All this girls self elaborate ur brains just a little and use at least 1 percent from the hundred God give una....Mshheewwww! NEXT! #ZOZO#

Anonymous said...

Be his baby mama..that's d koko(way forward)...am seveteen n am pregnant 4 ur father*crying face*

Anonymous said...

honey get an abortion and run away from him. i'm 20 years old like you and i almost fell in to the same trap... don't bring a life into this world. it would make it even worse you can imagine. who is gonna take care of that child, he won't! where you gonna get money to take care of that child... don't do it, run baby run!!! don't look back!!

MSA said...

My dear, get on your knees, pray and ask God for direction. Dont make any hurried decision. Pray first, tell the man about the pregnancy and see how u can move on from there. Dont let him talk you into an abortion. Lai lai!It is well. God is always with us.All the best.

Unknown said...

See ur life u don't u don't like money but u call dem stingy,na so all of una go carry belle one by why if una no repent..fool!

Unknown said...

If you are pregnant....go see your GP so you can find out if you are and then discuss your available options with your GP. You should definitely not tell the wife....the man makes ma sick because a father of 4 should not be sleeping with a 20 year old. He is clearly exploiting you. You need to contact your family for help. Get a job.....do something. Good luck

McQ said...

You would be labelled a home wrecker? What exactly r u? I believe you know the answer to your question, u just don't have the courage to act.

Unknown said...

If you are pregnant....go see your GP so you can find out if you are and then discuss your available options with your GP. You should definitely not tell the wife....the man makes ma sick because a father of 4 should not be sleeping with a 20 year old. He is clearly exploiting you. You need to contact your family for help. Get a job.....do something. Good luck

Anonymous said...

Oh My God am crying..... U are definitely an Home wrecker....My Good Lord protect my home and husband from such girls out there.... u are definitely certainly and HOME WRECKER.....

Anonymous said...

first to comment...mento here.u r not well okay.u go born d baby.mugu

Anonymous said...

For starters.. You are already a home wrecker. Any woman who seeks out to destroy a marital home with children can never know peace. You want to bring a child into this world yet u are about to break the home of 4 lovely and innocent children. Its amazing hw some girls reason, they sleep with married men and then pray to God to bless em with a good man. Its impossible, God aint stupid. You wud hv to pay the price for ur actions, u cnt plant an apple seed and expect an orange. For men who do such, dey deserve to be incacerated. If u cnt raise the child, then u wud eventually hv to tell him. Obviously u re lying to urself cos a semi-educated woman like urself shud know that pregnancy is d result of unprotected sex, hving dis knowledge means that u wanted to be pregnant by this man and maybe he wud make u a wife. Newsflash.. Men wud do anything to get inur pants and most times wud never leave their wife. Get ready to be on ur own Bitch!!! Dont come here and be seeking for sympathy and u were sexing up a married man. U re a disgrace. I hv seen girls work hard to make it.. Linda ikeji should be ur example, she didnt hv to sleep with a married man to make it... Lack of Morals and fear of God!! If your parents/siblings have the money to send you to the Uk, you cant come on here and say ur poor!! You are an Ashewo and home wrecker!! You were looking for a frog that has been kissed into a prince... Go and kiss ur own frogs until one turns into a prince, leave other womens husbands!

ANON101 said...

#clapping 4 u..u av tried..did u tell ur parents or friends u nided Money and they refused givin u for house rent or up kip?????its deir responsibily and not dat of someones Husband.. Hmm!well I don't know wat u shud do ..cos d story is just so no gud 2 read or hear...u are 20 and av had ''ur fair of horible ''Boyfriends''in d past abi?

Anonymous said...

Oloshi....go and tell his wife so she can clap for you.
If she doesn't assassinate you afterwards, it means she doesn't have the money to do so ni. Home wrecker like you should die. Oloriburuku olshi

Anonymous said...

Congrats dear. I wish u safe delivery. No CS, no tear. U'll give birth like d women of Hebrew. #yimu#

Baby said...

Tell him .Pregnant is a blessing from God . It depend on circumstance dat surround it. My prayer for u , God will take care of u and ur unborn baby. Please don't abort it.

sylvia bunny said...

Babe (1)find out if u r actually preg. (2) u shuldnt be dating or knacking a married man that doesn't give u money when u ask. isn't d point of dating him for the money (3) abort that child if u r preg cos the man is a dick & will leave if u tell him u r preg. (4) please always use a CONDOM!. (5)Next time u date a MM he should pay ur bills. he's jst showing u off by intro u 2 his friends. He doesn't love u(He's MARRIED), he jst needs a distraction form his marriage. Pls b wise!!!.. I HATE STINGY MEN(users).

Anonymous said...

Ashy!!!!

Lois Smith said...

You THINK you are pregnant for him???

Anonymous said...

Get an abortion, you stupid ho! You think all these sob stories make you any better than the prostitute in the street? Shut your mouth before you get acid thrown on you by his wife. There's no better or faster way to make the guy hate you than to get oregnant for him, and then tell his wife? I think you're crazy.

Anonymous said...

You are a very lazy girl and u lack morals. Deal with your issues yourself cos your excuse for dating d man is very lame.

Anonymous said...

You put yourself in that mess.Ain't no job in the uk?You dont love him.You want comfort and shelter.If that's your pix above you are a young and pretty girl.so carry your cross jare.

Gistyinka Blog said...

It your fate and you need to face

Anonymous said...

Get an Abortion.

Anonymous said...

Oh!my jesus linda girl where do u get ur stories from?lol"llll,first was the fool seeking attention(tosin)now this?go....linda.
So now what's her problem?guess she didn't knw/forgot she was 20yr,guess she didn't knw/forgot the man is married with kids,and sure she also forgot she had to graduate too how sweet........
This the kind of people that gives womanhood a bad name.
Oloshi as the thing enta so e go come out after 9mnth,expect ur a dog that carries for 4/6mnth..girls never think.

Anonymous said...

You enjoy the sex so learn to the live with the product.. Linda stop bringing us stories like this, you needed an ATM machine but now your card got stucked and you are here asking for advise..

Eno said...

jesus I cant believe you have the mind to seek for advise,wat are u expecting from us?must u really be in d uk or wherever u are.you are a freaking hustler!!! Go look for advise from ur type.

Anonymous said...

That girl wey dance hall naked on stage during iyanya concert no b uk she dey...

Anonymous said...

i hate to say this, but you are very STUPID!!!! omg!!! girrll!!! "other than the usual one night stand" she said. Are you for real?? a 20yr old girl and one night stand is now "usual". u wanted to enter into a world and did so little research!!! you are 20!!! and since u decided to indulge in such adult activities, you should know that the very first rule to the game is NO UNPROTECTED SEX!!!! what were u thinking??? who gives a damn if thats not what he wants? did you not realise it was YOUR OWN BODY! so you did all this for 2 months rent? I'm upset sef!! the price you put on your vag was just too low girl!!
ok it has happened..i'm sure (well hope) youve realised where you went wrong)...i wish i could tell u where to go from here...but what i want to say, i dont want God to judge me for it. Pray and ask God for clarity.

Anonymous said...

Try telling him and see what his reaction would be and if he refuses to accept, u know his home he can't run. go there talk to his wife in matured way, it might wreck is home, but do what's right for ur future and ur unborn baby's future. l won't judge u, we all do things we aren't proud and of we must learn from them. God bless u

Unknown said...

You're a grown as* woman so you've never heard of the morning after pill or contraceptives??I cannot pity cause this is pathetic

Unknown said...

You're a grown as* woman so you've never heard of the morning after pill or contraceptives??I cannot pity you cause this is pathetic

kris said...

dear U.K girl, i have been eating eba to bed for 2 wks now. and the last time i saved my 1yr salary to apply for UK visa , i was denied.
kindly help me egt to U.K if you can. Yours lovely "real suffer Guy"
if you think you have a problem , let have a chat. i bet we would fall in love. and am really handsome too. the equally poor girls in my street tells me so.

Anonymous said...

madam, i don't know where to start with u. 1st of all u can't claim a guy loves you wen he can't even chest your cab billz, please stop assuming he does, 2ndly i don't think u re ready to start a polygamous home at this age, so confirm if u re actually pregnant, if that is +ve then ask the guy's opinion if he can take care of the child and if not you know what to do. finally find sm1 single and stable to date and probably get married to, stop jumping from 1 nite stand to anoda.#a word is enough for the wise#

Anonymous said...

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for you when I read your post. To be honest, it was very silly of you to get involved with a man you knew was already married and also to have unprotected sex with him- what about your life, not to talk of sexually transmitted diseases?

Take a pregnancy test first to be sure that you are definitely pregnant. If you are then you need to decide to whether you want to keep this baby or not. If you are going to keep the baby, then you are going to have to face up to the possibility that you could end up a single mother if the man decides not to carry on with you- I think you already know subconsciously that he is pulling away from you- the signs are there. It seems to me he is only after you for sex. You also need to focus on yourself, your education and building up your self-esteem. Why are you looking up to a man to provide you with money? Can you not work and pay your own rent?

Anonymous said...

Try telling him and see what his reaction would be and if he refuses to accept, u know his home he can't run. go there talk to his wife in matured way, it might wreck is home, but do what's right for ur future and ur unborn baby's future. l won't judge u, we all do things we aren't proud and of we must learn from them. God bless u

@jaylicioussss said...

Igba go 2-0 #dats all

Anonymous said...

Don't be a learner... Marie stopes or bpas will do it for u for free! U think he's gonna marry u??

Anonymous said...

Foolish girl! Desperate women everywhere. To think that you even know his family very well...mscheew

Anonymous said...

Abort the baby and take responsibilty for ur actions instead of pretending to be naive and innocent. How can u embrace awoman whose husband ur sleeping with? U need self esteem. I suspect urs has been broken. Also the way he treats u he def doesnt love u. Hes just using u. A man who cares will take care of his woman

Dr. O said...

get an abortion and move on. you are just 20

Anonymous said...

Hissss! Are u a kid? Do a pregnancy test. I think you know what you want to do already from what you have said.

Anonymous said...

Abortion is free in uk, so go abort am and use a contraception after the abortion like coil. Don't wreck homes my dear. The guy is just looking for a way to eat new vegetable which u were apart from his wife vegetable. So u date a man with ur heart and brain. Learn how to work hard and don't relie on human beings. U are too young for all this mess of greed u are putting urself into. Wise up.

Anonymous said...

Abort the child and move on with your life... By the way when u were having unprotected sex y didn't u use contraceptives?

Me me me said...

Did you not say you are in the Uk and you're a student? The guy also lives in the Uk with his family so they are probably citizens which automatically makes your baby a citizen and entitled to benefits, till u can get on your feet. . . . If this option doesnt work for you, speak with your GP about the other option...... it is free in the Uk afterall, just that you may carry the guilt around a bit and ask God endlessly for forgiveness like i did, needless to say it's one option i would never consider again. Most people however feel relieved after it. Good luck with making your choice dear.

P.s: don't date married men or any man for money..... I hope I have been as open minded as possible. I hate judgemental people.

Unknown said...

You have to tell him you are pregnant then see his reaction before you think of another step to take.

Unknown said...

You have to tell him you are pregnant then see his reaction before you think of another step to take.

Anonymous said...

You should always have a plan B if you do shit. If he's avoiding you, he obviously doesn't want u at this point. Get rid of it ASAP or deal with the aftermath for life. At least u enjoyed most of it

Anonymous said...

Abort the baby,although abortion is bad and it is a sin before God bt as it is now is only option, because u gone cause problem in that family and your sufferness will wrost than before.

Anonymous said...

Lazy Ass!!

Anonymous said...

linda all dis kind story self, he loves u nd he has introduced u 2 his frnd nd now he is not giving u money he is also not paying 4 ur T.fare how r u sure he was not pretending 4rm d begining , u beta tell him or suffer alone.

Nimma said...

How can u even consider going to tell his wife when u havent even told him? If he refused to use protection, why didnt u? My advice; tell him first. His reaction and response ll determine ur next course of action. Goodluck!

Anonymous said...

Walk away. Dnt break a home. He was never in love wth u.

naijaboy said...

Girls the most confused homo sapiens after confused.com. I don't like to judge pple but gals like this piss me the hell off.

Anonymous said...

I no dey see well or what? 20 years and have had relationships not even relationship!!!! Yepa! Aye ti baje o!
It is well with your life...

Anonymous said...

are u for realzzzzzzzzzzzz?????????????????meet his wife?na d wife poke u?geeezzzzzz....nyways u said u r 20 so dat explains d foolishness.

Hawtberry said...

Asking for advises now really is too late, you should have done that when you were having relationship issues before making up your mind to settle for one night stand or better still when you were having finance issues, we would have advised you to look for a job maybe as a waitress or cleaner or nanny whichever. They say shit money no dey smell.
But you decided to depend on men, ignoring the fact that getting pregnant is one of the prices to pay for such decisions, so also is contracting STIs...
All the best my dear, I wonder how you will now survive with pregnancy, house rents, other bills and academics.
My dear, you have made your choice ooo, this has nothing to do with your family dysfunction.
I also came from a dysfunctional home and I made the choice to make a difference with my life...

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm! Get rid of d̶̲̥̅̊ pregnancy since dere is a lot of problem attached τ̅☺ it.A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ pls next tym βε̲̣̣̣̥ very careful always use a condom if U̶̲̥̅̊ α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ not ready Fø̲̣̣я̅ it cos is not easy Н̣̣̣̝̇̇̇e̶̲̥̅̊r̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ d̶̲̥̅̊ uk τ̅☺ βε̲̣̣̣̥ a single mother.

Anonymous said...

May God forgive you...I lost my five months old marriage to all these useless UK girls getting pregnant for married men.

IkwerreBoy said...

hmmmm your just 20 and still in the university... honest truth tell him, if his reaction is not positive, flush the baby and move on with your life, now concentrate more on your studies do those little jobs babe... those little jobs will pay your rent if you living in a studio please move to a shared apartment where the rent is a lot cheaper... I think you are being lazy also think of other ways to make money start working on yourself and Ideas, start reading wide. Honest truth flush that baby.. flush it sharp sharp and save yourself from been homeless imagine how it is now and what it will be like after you've given birth. If that man cheated on his wife, he will do so again and again with other girls.

famous amos said...

there's notin u can do about it.i would no advice you to go for an abortion cus its a sin according to the christian doctrine,every soul dey say has d rite to live,the child was on his/her own and u called either so try telling d dude if her refuses den keep it.*wink*

Anonymous said...

first of all u are very stupid by having sex without protecting ur self, simple tell him about d forking pringnant nd see how he will reat befor u can take any decission. Wish u goodlorck.

Anonymous said...

U landed in dis cos u re nt contented wit d little u have, at least ur siblings assist even if its peanut. Best thing is to tell him u re carryin his baby and see his reaction.u don't need to sleep wit men for survival, there r petty jobs one can pick up.I spent 4yrs in d Uni wit little of my parents assistance.Althrough, I was doi business, I paid my bills, even sent money home

Anonymous said...

Thank God you are in the UK ABORT THE PREGNANCY and move on with your life, and yes darling, you are a HOME WRECKER! people like you disgust me!!

Anonymous said...

hmmm interesting well tell him whatever he tells u to do, do it simple and short!

Anonymous said...

To start with,why are London girls loose to some extent,must u all be baby mama's b4 coming bck to Naija?Nne my harmless advice is tht u should go nd remove tht pregnancy cos it's unwanted don't break a home bcos of ur carelessnes.God won't be happy with u nd nobody will support u for dating a married man.ur fam is not in peace which means tht u re on ur own,u re suffering when nothing has happened talk more of now u re pregnant....remove it oooo!else ur sufferings will increase nd don't let the man hear about it.

Anonymous said...

Waiting for d comments.after reading the comments your life will neva b d same

Rough Diamond said...

Sure u r a home wrecker! Not judging u tho but how can u allow urself get preggy for a married man?! Chai! I pity u sha cos he won't marry u! Oyo lo wa o!

oje said...

U beta nt tel his wife rada talk 2 your mum or sm1 matured enuf if u are pregnant so u can decide what 2 do. What where u tinkin wen u were datin a married man u are a young gal ad hav a whole lot ahead f u let your studies b paramount 2 u nt all dese 1 9th stand tin u are doin may ǦØD̶̲̥̅̊ giv u directions dear

Anonymous said...

take him to court....shikena

ETHAN said...

This is some serious shit babe. Can't advise u on anytin o jst go give ur life to God. Pls dnt go near d man's wife o she doesn't deserve d heart break.

Anonymous said...

Seems u are mad. U want to go n tell a london woman u r preg for her husband? R u stupid! God bless u she's one of all these illiterate south east women then u will know one is differnt from two. I don't know wetin u go do o as me sef follow u confuse buh going to tell is wife is out of it.

Anonymous said...

Talk to God

Anonymous said...

Wow. No comment. Parents who bring kids into this world and don't provide the necessary finances and proper training for kids. They just end up being dependent, emotionally attached to any savior. This is tricky cos if we say have the kid, then you don't even have the finsnces to take care of the child. Well except you gave the baby and give it up for adoption. I think you should also tell the man though.. if he threatens to not take responsibility, then threaten to tell his wife....

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