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Thursday, 3 January 2013

Diary of New Iyawo!!

  Something nice and fun! Enjoy...:-)
Monday: We are back from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Chuka . Today I made moin moin and the recipe said, 'Beat 12 eggs separately '. Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. D moin moin turned out fine though.
Tuesday: We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, 'Serve without dressing'. So I didn't dress. But Chuka happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them. I think it was the salad.
See more after the cut...
 
Wednesday: I decided to serve rice and found a recipe, which said, 'Wash thoroughly before steaming d rice'. So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kind of silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved d rice anyhow. 
Thursday: Today Chuka asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, and then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.' I hunted all over the place for a garden with a bed of lettuce and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. CHUKA came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work; I'll try and be supportive.
Friday: Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, 'Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it'. Beat it I did, to my mother's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again; it looked the same as when I left it.
Saturday: Chuka went shoppin today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and its little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Chuka saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out 'Why me? Why me?'
LMAO!!

148 comments:

GALORE said...

a big YAWN............

Onakachi said...

Hahaha! I love what she did with the chicken.

Onakachi.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Too funny, what a wife, the husband is in trouble.

Anonymous said...

Lololol too hilarious,who wrote this?would luv2read more!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...your mother's house is yours

Anonymous said...

My tummyyyyyyy...
Ds z way hilarious
Buhahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Linda wont kee us lmao

Anonymous said...

Dis is d funniest shyt ever!!!! Hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahhahahhahahhahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Linda wont kee us. lmao

Anonymous said...

Very funny

Anonymous said...

Lmfaooooo...dumb wife

Dove said...

O.M.Gosh!!! Can't stop laughin here. Linda pls dnt lemme laugh n kiss shoe shinner ooooo.
1ndaful!!!

Anonymous said...

Not funny jare

Anonymous said...

Hilarious.... OMG!! Lmao

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! For all those who can't cook! Chuka pele.

goodie said...

Hehehehehhehe...OMG!!.. Wic part of d bush is she frm Plz.. Lol

fikky said...

Lmao. She for tie gele for the chicken too nah! Yeye wife. Lol.

vion said...

Hahahaha

Anonymous said...

She followed the instructions to the letter. Y was her husband sobbing???

Unknown said...

Ha! Okay o

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

#Boring!!! #Yawning...

Bootylycious diva said...

Beautiful

pweety Lin said...

Hahahahahaha..... Linda u no go kill person o...I Don laff sotay my bf dey check my pulse to make sure say I still normal.

Anonymous said...

Lwfkmd

Anonymous said...

Too Too funny. Tears are just streaming out of my eays

Anonymous said...

I certainly feel for this guy!!!

Anonymous said...

Too Too funny. Tears are just streaming out of my eyes

Anonymous said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!! Hilarity! Only a few will get this, I'm sure...only a few.

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Yawn

Anonymous said...

Dah!!!!!!!!!! like soooooo un Nigerian...pls get jokes that tend to soothe the cultural pallete!

Anonymous said...

LMAO

Anonymous said...

Lol.....thank you Linda

Anonymous said...

This is the dumbest wife ever

Anonymous said...

LMFAO! Some mothers do have 'em!!!

Anonymous said...

Lolzzz big tym.

Anonymous said...

Very funny....laughing here.

Whovever authored this piece is sure a bright one.

WONDERGAL said...

OMG this is so funny am so sure shes a wife brought from the village buh atleast they had honeymoon so he enjoyed before sufferING.....LOL LWKMD

Anonymous said...

Funny ishh

thenewslately said...

oh my gosh! Some women are like dis o. Linda i hope u can cook beta dan dis bride

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha.#DEAD#

thenewslately said...

oh my gosh! Some women are like dis o. Linda i hope u can cook beta dan dis bride

thenewslately said...

oh my gosh! Some women are like dis o. Linda i hope u can cook beta dan dis bride

Anonymous said...

This is A typical yoruba girl ... They are not intelligent and always dirty...gosh!!!

Adele said...

Had a good laugh! Especially loved the part where she "dressed" the chicken in doll dress and cute little doll shoes. LMAO indeed. Wonder who wrote it? Linda you should have included the credit for the piece. Hope we'll get more updates about the new iyawo's escapades.

Anonymous said...

This is a stolen article,nice one Lind,if u like don't post my comment! U sha stole it

Anonymous said...

For real.

ary said...

Chuka aba nye go one chance

ary said...

Chuka aba nye go one chance

ToluD said...

=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)). Laughter has finished me ooooo. Wat a wife. Chuka is in 4 it 4 d rest of his life if he believes in 'for better, for worse principle'

Bubble gum said...

Ha! lollll so hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Lol.

Useless Iyawo. Chuka go soon kill person

Anonymous said...

Funniest piece i've read in a while. enjoyed every bit of still. still laughing.

Anonymous said...

Nna men, Chuka don marry wife oh!

Anonymous said...

Hehehehe, Lindiwe, this is hilarious, pls keep it rolling, some may take a hint or beat it........hahahaha!!!

Anonymous said...

This chick is a BOLO.....LMAO, hehe..first to comment

truthurts said...

Yawns

I'm sure you would post this one cos you don't post comments that criticize you.
Anyway its your blog.


PrettyPrincess...... said...

omo ale lol

Coco said...

Buhahahah lindus biko...Lmsao

Ennieblaq said...

Very funny... All dos crazy cook books that makes cooking harder dan it ordinarily is... Big big grammar wey u neva hear b4... Tscheeeew

Anonymous said...

I m crackingmy ribs wt laughter. So funny.First to comment..*dancing*

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha really funny piece lwkmd,ugo.m.

Daizyyyy said...

I really want to stop laughing but I can't.

Anonymous said...

This one pass stupidity. LOL.

Anonymous said...

LMSAO.....sillly bt funny

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!!!! This just made up for the stress of the whole day!!!

Unknown said...

Heheheee.. Sori 4 d dude! Iyawo pls go 4 5yrs internship wit ur mom

OSBAG said...

Can only say "eeya" smh. Linda pls stop laughing it funny for the couple..

barbie said...

Really funny article!! Lovely

mara said...

I yaff laff belle full.....she no practise 4 ha papa house 1st.....

Anonymous said...

Hahaha...! LMSAO! This is really funny. Maybe the recipe should be more specific. English no easy. Still LMSAO! CossyP

Anonymous said...

lmao. this is hilarious!!!

Dirty Diana... said...

LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Heheheheeeeheeheheheee,,,dis one na JJC!!!

Anonymous said...

Lol nice one.

Anonymous said...

a very good laugh indeed

Anonymous said...

Lili is this suppose to be funny or what?I don't get.

Unknown said...

lol linda this ish is funny pls upload more or give us the link to go find it cos i ant more of these diary sessions

Anonymous said...

Rosie Said......This is hilarious..
ha ha ha,its nice sometimes to men a little "heart attack".

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Linda this so funny u most post my comment today,U know its a New year.

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Linda this so funny u most post my comment today,U know its a New year.

Stanley Onduru said...

Really hilarious......LWKMD....check out ma new clothing collections ...ping 277DDBCD now

Anonymous said...

Wow

Anonymous said...

Dryyyyyyy*yawns*

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh,lwkmd. Thank u linda,dis just made ma day


Flymoke

Anonymous said...

its very hilarious linda but its not very possible in real life

Anonymous said...

Dis is hillarious...L̳̿Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇L̳̿.

Anonymous said...

HahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhaAAahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahah.linda like seriously???
*effizy*

Suavilicious said...

Lwtmb....I don die
L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿.

Anonymous said...

Werrin be this? Iranu!

Anonymous said...

Loool

Anonymous said...

What masterpiece! ROTFL!!!

Damie said...

Quite boring.....ko tie funny

Anonymous said...

Meaning?

Anonymous said...

Laff iyaff finish me for hia ooo. Dat wife mst b a yoruba, u knw hw it is wen u directly translate yoruba 2 english.#winkingwinking#

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!
Chuka,why you?

Anonymous said...

Lwkmd

IMF S. said...

Boring!!!

Oge okoye said...

Funny

Anonymous said...

Yawns...boring!

Anonymous said...

Hillarious....rotflmao!

Anonymous said...

ℓ☺ℓ, tyt mumu. *Sallysparkles*

Anonymous said...

Lwkmd oooooooh... Omfg!!! D chicken part.. Chai! I cn imagine d hubby wishing it was a dream. Dat shud b d reason y he's counting.. Lmfaooooooo..!

Anonymous said...

Lol!quite funny!

Anonymous said...

Lwkmd.its so funny.hmm na wa oh.new iyawo

Anonymous said...

Is dis a joke or wot???????

Anonymous said...

Lol...so hilarious

Anonymous said...

Lol!!

Unknown said...

OMG!!! Lmao...Α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ Ɣ☺ΰ F♠я̩̥̊ real..nyc 1 der jawe
Post ma comment ��˚˚​˚ linda

Queen Bee said...

Wat a new iyawo,d man go hear am'..hahahaha.
dis one will give birth to the world's dumbest kids too.

Anonymous said...

So innocently clueless....lwkmd

Anonymous said...

Kai! Iyawooooooo,no kill your husband with dis your ways o,u just return from honeymoon o.but I pity d bros sha,loooool

Anonymous said...

*blank stare*

Anonymous said...

OMG dis is so funny..LMAO.

Anonymous said...

Idiot!!! Write your own lets see.

Anonymous said...

ROFL! Anyways, what happened to Sunday?

Anonymous said...

Anofia!Ewu!

Anonymous said...

Lol Linda abeg u 2 much haba u won kill pesin wt laugh o

Ayo! said...

You actually need common sense before you can have a sense of humour. Sorry

Ayo! said...

LOL! I don't expect pple like you to actually relate...

Anonymous said...

Chai! I weep for pple wey get you

Anonymous said...

This is so hilarious!! Linda, you didn't help ♍y cough at all. Pls, let this be weekly.

Anonymous said...

Dis is so funny !

Anonymous said...

Gosh i havent laughed this hard in a really loong time. Its so so so funny! Wat a new year comic relief!

Unknown said...

Ha ha ha ha,I laugh tire lol so so funny...

MIDE SPEAKS

Anonymous said...

Lmao!

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha...... Chuka don hear am o. Well sinc dey are bak frm honeymoon it means she's ok at **downtown** atlst he can b consoled wit dat at 9t afta eatn rubish as fud. Lollll

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha....pulse dey change wit crase?...lool

Anonymous said...

Anu mpam! Wetin bring yoruba into this gist now? Akpa amu like u!

Anonymous said...

Doesn't make any sense to me!

hayahy said...

It's funny..buh kinda applies to gals of nowadays....most of Dem are not good in cooking compared to their mothers.

Gozie said...

It's a very funny piece but i got bored towards the end... Being plan stupid doesn't make a long story worth the read, a short, stupid and naive story will have us askin for more!!!!

sonia said...

Anonymous said...
This is A typical yoruba girl ... They are not intelligent and always dirty...gosh!!!


Your RETARDED self realizes this is a joke right?

Anonymous said...

Not funny jor. Just plain dumb.
Nd d guy dat sed she is a yoruba girl is as dumb as fuck. Its just a stupid joke nd u must b a loony wretch dat cldnt get any girl 2 like u.

towyeen said...

Heheeeeeeeee... See U̶̲̥̅̊Я life.I yaf die finish wit laf.chuks pele Ooº°˚˚˚°ºo . U̶̲̥̅̊‎​ are in big trouble

Haleeemarh said...

Mama nids u home b dt.....lol

Anonymous said...

Dry

Osefamen Gloria said...

So he dinno if d woman he wantd 2marry cud cook or not.d groom himself is α zombie too.@funkiedipsy

Nneka said...

o my word! this is real hilarious. I enjoyed the write up. very creative writing... im still laughing Linda..

TKM said...

Thank you Sonia, only a RETARDED FOOL will type that.

Anonymous said...

Oh! Such a pity... poor Chuka.

Anonymous said...

sunday is my fave followed by tuesday and wednesday

Anonymous said...

She really did try...poor poor husband! On a more serious note ppl, this is a joke and should be taken as one. No point getting your knickers in a twist and becoming abusive. But u sef Linda, you shouldn't be posting all these abusvie comments this year....make that your rules and regulations for the year.

Clement E Ighomue said...

alright!

Stargal said...

lol,.....na d husband i pity

Anonymous said...

Linda, did you steal this for true? Please defend yourself because sometimes stories are just similar by coincidence.

That is why JK Rowling won cases against her.
If it was stolen! From who and where plus title?

Anonymous said...

LOL :)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Linda experienced this first hand. *running for cover*

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