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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Dear LIB readers: Should I marry a man who sexually abused me?

From a LIB reader
Dear Linda, I really need advice from your readers. I have fallen in love with a guy who sexually abused me when I was young and he's asking me to marry him now. He has apologized for what he did to me but I still haven't forgotten. What do I do?

274 comments:

1 – 200 of 274   Newer›   Newest»
hot girl said...

get ready!
he will abuse ur kids,ur nephews,ur nieces and househelps.
u are cursed!!
gen gen!!!

Anonymous said...

Disappear!!!!!

Anonymous said...

If u really love him as u said and u're sure he's really sorry 4 what he has done to u in d past, i will advice u marry him

Anonymous said...

This is super story

Anonymous said...

4 u 2 fall in L♥√ع wit him means u hv 4gotten

BLOGLORD said...

the decision is yours to make. Have you really forgiven him? are you affected psychologically by he abuse? do you think you can live/cope with him and not react negatively towrds him in future?
hmnnn...u really need to examine yourself sincerely, if you think you can go ahead with him, oh well.

but the guy on the other hand seriously needs to be flogged. only God knows how many others he abused. #hiss#

Anonymous said...

My dear, you need to cut that relationship ASAP!! Its for your own good to leave while you can before its too late. Yes, forgive him and move on from him!! There are so many guys out there and I know you will find him. Trust God

Anonymous said...

Sorry,he won't change,he's an animal(shikena)

Anonymous said...

is free world hence he has tested d cunt b4.i tink he likes d taste.

Anonymous said...

hmnnn! all these LIB readers case is worse than the main stories linda puts up here. the other one can't bleat like a goat to please her man. this one, of all the men in the world, its the very one that abused her sexually that she saw to marry. tomorrow, you all would line up under anonymous and throw insults if it were to be someone else in your shoe.

Anonymous said...

Let me be honest with you. I don't think you need our advice. For the fact that you allowed yourself to fall in love with him means you didn't care about what he did to you in the past. So go ahead then. Just weigh ur decisions carefully before you do.
Have you guys seen Yvonne Nelson's baby photo HERE? This lady is naturally cute

jbaby said...

He will go ahead to abuse ur daughter or ur maid in d future. Paedophile in d house.

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Do you mean rape or what? That could hold bad memories though. The details are really sketchy here to make a good analysis though. But people deserve a second chance, if you love him and he does too then the past can be put where it belongs, in the past!

BONARIO NNAGS said...

The only thing dat I believe its constant nature in dis life is change.
And one potent medicine which has proved more efficacious than time to heal all wounds is TRUE LOVE,with sincerety of purpose.
If u truely love him and believe he's a changed person and deserves a benefit of doubt,my dear say yes before another person does.lolz

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Kay said...

Forgive and forget! go ahead and marry him if u need to. Plus u can abuse him sexually afterwards if it would make u feel better.

Anonymous said...

Its proven that pain is love, lol.what he did was wrong but.... Maybe he meant good though.

Anonymous said...

Run away as fast as you can.

Anonymous said...

Don't marry him because he is a monster

Anonymous said...

He will sexually abuse your daughters! Shikena!

Anonymous said...

Why d fuck will u even fall in love with smone that has abused u sexually in d past.

Anonymous said...

First, I think you should forgive him. Then i think you should go get some counseling on that atrocious act, and lastly, you have to come to terms that what he did was atrocious. When you've done all these things, then you will know what to do. *note when I say "you", I mean you, as in just you. Good luck. Oh, one more thing, if you have to ask this question, you already know the answer, follow your gut instinct. Trust your instincts girl!!

Maureen Uhama said...

If you can live with d fact he abused you @ tender age is ur choice. I advice think twice becos dis a life time issue!

Maureen Uhama said...

If you can live with d fact he abused you @ tender age is ur choice. I advice you think twice becos dis is a life time issue!

Anonymous said...

guy dis girl fine shaa

Anonymous said...

guy dis girl fine shaa

Anonymous said...

First of all, you were fully aware of d fact dat he molested u and u haven't 4gotten yet u went ahead to fall in luv. Now u're asking if u should marry him or not. My dear u have answered ur own question.Let us move on to oda things abeg....NEXT!

CerebrallyBusy said...

This is SOOOO similar to Stockholm syndrome.

Anonymous said...

He is a sex offender, if u had reported him he would still be in jail or be an ex convict

Anonymous said...

one word....RUN! i really dont think its a good way to start a marriage

Anonymous said...

I DON'T REALLY KNOW....BUT ALL I CAN SAY IS TO FALLOW YOUR HEART....AND PRAY TO GOD FOR A ANSWER...#GODBLESS

Anonymous said...

Marry am na, by the time he carry ur toto blow whistle u go cme bck to ur senses.. Once a pervert always a pervert!!

Anonymous said...

Once an abuser, always an abuser! Shikena! Which kain yeye fall in love be that? If u live in a sane country and got him reported then, would he be asking to marry u now? Until u have kids for him and he starts abusing them? And your neighbour's kids??!! Pls girl, get ur dirty love some recommended glasses or surgery, if its that blind!

omotea said...

Like seriously are you alright?don't even think of it..he abused you and believe me he will still do it again..sometimes you have to ignore your feelings and use your head..he's an animal,you deserve the best..

Oma Baby said...

Like seriously. Is dat a question. Sum1 abused u sexually how d hell did u fall in love with him??? I don't think it's wrong. I think it's WRONG. I get he's a "changed man" n all dat. But stay away 4rm him.

Anonymous said...

Forgive him and marry him...,dats only if u see the act of repentance in him and love too.

halleykeys said...

Wat kind of stupid question is dese dummie askin.....do watever u want bee-yiatch remember its yo life......if u can't 4get wat he did in d past,y shld u tink of spendin ur future with him??ode!*hiss*...Next plss

Anonymous said...

Grant his apology naun since u said u r in luv 2

Anonymous said...

Obviously he is manipulating you. Sexual predators do not just change and he'll probably do the same to your daughters and all other young girls that may come into your home e.g some poor house maid. Please stay away from him and advice him to go for counseling. he needs to address whatever it is that made him sexually abuse someone in the 1st place!

Anonymous said...

Obviously he is manipulating you. Sexual predators do not just change and he'll probably do the same to your daughters and all other young girls that may come into your home e.g some poor house maid. Please stay away from him and advice him to go for counseling. he needs to address whatever it is that made him sexually abuse someone in the 1st place!

ose said...

Are you mad?

Talatu Manuel said...

Forgive him but flee cos theres no probaility he wont do that again even to your own child or relatives or neighbours and then eternal disgrace and shame. Has he really dealt with that thing cos its a spirit.

Anonymous said...

Please do not marry him
Simplicio
Bikonu
Joor o

The person inside a person can come out any time..trust me dats who he is..I won't be surprised if u later find out he does nt really love he is just proposing to clear his concience.

Anonymous said...

U ve fallen in love with him means u ve forgiven him so YES u can

Anonymous said...

My question 2 u is do u want 2 marry him? My dear u alone can advise ur self bcus marriage is a life tym tin, my contribution is listen 2 ur heart n do only wot it tells u 2 do.

naijapose.com said...

Well i guess you already answered it yourself. He is a changed man and would like to marry you. I advice that you forgive him and let go of your past. And move on. He's strong to still want to be around you. You're stronger because you have loved him still. I suggest you move on and forgive him completely. Afterall, if you marry someone else, you might feel worse or indifferent. You hurt may still be there. It is hard. And a case of sexual abuse is harder. The easiest thing to say is "DON'T EVEN DARE" but then for the love of God, a word called forgiveness exists. You can read this poem I wrote of forgiveness. To err is human

May God guide you as you choose wisely.

Anonymous said...

Don't, Simple as. But I've realised people will end up doing what they want regardless. My advice is you should not but if u feel you love him to consider then pray about it.

bitchplis said...

Marry him na.wetin dey dia?

chioma immaculata said...

The trauma alone won't let you enjoy the marriage. Animalistic nature of men have degrees. He did it to you once,he I'll do it to ur younger sister or maid.

Anonymous said...

It shows dat u stil hv affection 4 him though u myt feel cheated u can stil 4gv him bt pls very canny abt it....

Anonymous said...

I wonder who these people are. Who are you people that can't take decisions concerning your own lives? You come to total strangers who can never understand what you are feeling. Do you take the most common advice at the end of the day, apply it and damn the consequences?

Search yourself and take your decision. Its your life.

Anonymous said...

Do you love him or not?? There's no big deal in marrying someone who abused you as long as you aren't related.

Anonymous said...

u b goat. U r alredy inlv n u r lukn 4 advice. Shebingo. Ewu.

ayo said...

First study his behavior, d kind of frnds he move it, and if he has realised his mistake and have d fear of God in him

Anonymous said...

You are even lucky you're not related to him.. I was sexually abused by my mum's younger brother at the age of 7. I'm almost 36 now and I'm still kinda affected by the whole stuff. If you have feelings for him, then go ahead.. Linda, why don't you always post my comments na???

juliet igboekwe said...

If he sexually abused џσΰ then and џσΰ have nt forgiven him why did џσΰ even allow ȋڪ get to this extent of a marriage proposal?
The answer ȋڪ NO dnt marry him

Mama somtee said...

And he shall continue to abuse you sexually -------- ode just what are you still looking for there again , wetin you forget ? A man debased you and you my dear are still thinking of going back to him If not why asking again .

Anonymous said...

...well to me, I thnk him being arnd u will easy off d memory of the past. Thngs shld be fine...all u need is to forgive him nd start a wonderful life togethr...dont get stalled with thngs from your past wch has now come to correct itsef.

Anonymous said...

You have not 4gotten n U̶̲̥̅̊ want 2 marry him,do U̶̲̥̅̊ evn love him or how do you intend 2 live wit him.na wa 4 ur questn

Anonymous said...

Do nothing

Sharon said...

Since he has apologized n u love him,u can go ahead n marry him,he might have change 4 change is d constant thg in life,1st 2 comment*winks*,Madam Linda post my comment oooo

B-Girl said...

RUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN for your dear life! kids are not safe around him, even your children wont be safe around him.

Anonymous said...

Lindiway,dis girl wey u use for d topic fine ooo.well my dear,if u can live with it,den marry him.its obvious u have feelings for him.but as for someone like me,I don't think I'd be able to marry him cos if he could do dat wen I was young,he cud continue to do dat to younger girls in d future cos he has a peverted mind. So look b4 u leap.

Pretty tricky

lauren onwuka said...

Question la hot! Tye help to 131... On a serious note,I tink it depends on u,cn u handle him touching u?,a lot of mental n emotional strength is involved here n I'm pretty sure u haven't gotten closure on dis issue yet n I'll advice u leave d guy alone,dere are many oda pple out dere,u nid a psychologist,bt if u cn handle seeing dis man n spendin d rest of ur lyf with sum1 who has d potential 2 rape abi na sexually abuse hehehe...

Queen Bee said...

U can if u are too desperate to wait for the right guy,its a paedophile u Want to marry!!.....he will do it again and again to pple around u cos a leopard can never change its stripes!!

Anonymous said...

Firstly u need to pray to God to help u forgive Him, & if u realy love him after u have truely forgive then u can only have fulfilled LOVE life with him

Diva said...

Stimes it may b caused by peer pressure, drunkness or naivity so if u are sure that he has really changed and you love him, you can go ahead and marry him. There is nobody that cant change

Anonymous said...

Dats a hard one cos †ђξ memories ll always b dere.

Anonymous said...

something is wrong with you, this man violated you, how can u marry him.

Anonymous said...

He'd abuse ur daughter..! SJ

Anonymous said...

That na question? Pls marry him and when he starts abusing your children, u cry to Linda again. Iskanchi

Mama Kamsi said...

Follow ur heart, he may hav repented 4rm his evil ways...

Anonymous said...

Babe am so sorry that you went through that from a one sexually abused woman to another. Whether he is sorry or not is irrelevant how do you feel? I hope you are not having some sort of attachment to your abuser which is very common, He violated you and now wants to come into your life. You will never forgive him if you marry him every time you are intimate you will remember the abuse run away from him. Get counseling, talk to someone you trust but stay away from him Best of love am rooting for you.

Anonymous said...

Actually feel this decision is suppose to be a personal thing but since you have decided to involve libers, it's fine.I think it's not a bad idea getting married to him coz we all have our past. If what you feel for him is real love, y not? go girl!

--chickeeto--

Anonymous said...

Actually feel this decision is suppose to be a personal thing but since you have decided to involve libers, it's fine.I think it's not a bad idea getting married to him coz we all have our past. If what you feel for him is real love, y not? go girl!

--chickeeto--

Anonymous said...

a u Dumb?

Anonymous said...

Anty, you have not forgiven him and you're still considering marrying him? are you a learner?

WSS™ said...

Are you sure he sexually abused you? Cos u sound like u enjoyed it then. What do u mean by "I've fallen in love with a guy who sexually abused me when I was young". Seriously? That's like saying "I've fallen in love with a paedophile who raped me when I was young". Sweetheart u're about to get married to a paedophile, & pls don't run to LIB when he rapes your neighbour's 9yr old daughter.

Young women of these days prefer to trade their class, worth & respect for material things, & its not even funny!!!

Anonymous said...

He abused you when he had no right to. He'll rape you every single day of your life when he gets conjugal rights. You were abused, have you healed?? You're busy contemplating marrying your abuser. Is your brain on reverse??? Or do you just have an empty hollow skull???

smiley said...

Abuse his heart to jare,nonesense man. He wants to destroy your life completely o BEWARE.run tell you

Korede said...

U must be a fool to want to marry such person...ode, dey der dey ask stupid question.....if he can do dat to u wen u wer young,den I can imagine wat he ll do to u nw dat u r older....#justsaying....beta wise up

Israel said...

If you have forgiven him, that is fine but it is hard to re-establish trust on a long-term to a former sex-predator, it would take God to convince you to believe that he would love and value you as his wife on a long-term besides ,in most cases the answer should be no , don't marry him.

Anonymous said...

Make a decision u would b happy with and not be full of regrets or had I know later,If u love him then I dnt see anything wrong but please b sure he means every bit of his word 2wards staying with u for d rest of his life.Also pray so u can forget abt how he abused u when u were tender,cos I case u guys marry that issue of remembrance is likely 2 b a challenge.God would direct u.

Anonymous said...

Its a no-go area girl........Give urself brain & run 4 ƱƦ lyf!!!

Unknown said...

2 me oo,i tink forgiveness is a forwar,try and 4give and 4get since he has realise his mistake::give a chance 2 proof his worth.

Anonymous said...

Is that a real question or do you have some kind of syndrome (stockholm syndrome)? Get some therapy. What are you still doing there?

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you've fallen in love?

Anonymous said...

Common sense run he is still a monster I can imagine how u feel

Anonymous said...

Marry him so that e can finish wat e started!*sarcasm*
*flakes*

Anonymous said...

Am sorry but I think she's confused....he sexually abused u, uv fallen in love but u avent forgotten??? What the? A serious case of a confused person... I rest my case..na wa o!

Anonymous said...

Ugh...! Honey yeah follow u heart girl. He loves u and surely will LOVE any female child you'll have plus your friends daughters and nieces too. Get out of here!! Sha go get some counseling. Smh

Ikechukwu Okorie said...

But u have "fallen in love" innitt???.....so u dey find who u wan use as scapegoat???....why ask 4 opinions when it don't mean shit 2 u????... Abeg shift jOor....if u dnt want him I'm sure ther r plenty LIBers who'll gladly take him. Dey ther dey dull urself.

MSA said...

You are mad if you do. Oprah Winfrey said if people show you who they are, believe them.!! He has shown you his true colors before. Do not complain if he shows you the rest.

Funke said...

Marry him now....it's thesame way he abused you when you were young that he will abuse other young girls in your neighborhood when you go to work or travel out of town.
Old habits die hard! I don't know why some people just fail to learn... Girls sha!!! Really, what sweet words or gifts has he used to entice you to believing he has trully changed?

Anonymous said...

Looks like he didn't abuse you... You had fun while it lasted! So why are you troubling us? Abeg«««!!

Anonymous said...

Don't do it. You will have a grudge towards him for the rest of your life.

Anonymous said...

Should you marry a man who sexually abused you?

No! Are you crazy?

Anonymous said...

I don't knw for u jare ... Are we the driver and conductor of ur life... Abegg

Anonymous said...

abi u dey craz ni

Anonymous said...

he will abuse your children and all the young girls in your family, u can not marry a guy with no self control

musing of a nigerian undergraduate said...

Honey, if he abused you, are you sure you won't ve to stay very far from your female relatives? If he abused you,he will abuse others and except you are dobubly sure he's changed for the better and really loves you enough to control his urges Donot try to commit. Nd pray hard bout it

Anonymous said...

You should run away from the bastard. Think about this.If he can abuse you, he can abuse you children.
Do you realize that in the western world if you were to report him to the police. He will be prosecuted.
their can never be no rational he can give to you for what he did.So my dear a pedophile is forever going to remain a pedophile.

Anonymous said...

Abi u r a fool ni. U said someone sexually abused u and u r still asking if u should marry him go ahead and marry him now oponu. Some questions r u dumb

Alvin Olufisayo said...

It's really a tough call.do you stil have nightmares of the incident.Was the guy under any influence when u were abused.The decision is urs but take your time and be careful.Most offenders of rape or assault are perverts,they wil do it again.

Anonymous said...

You don't sound furious. If you can put up with him why not. I am sure you guys will laugh over that incident you called *sexual abuse* after the marriage.

Anonymous said...

Don't marry him ,cos d truma wil kip come to u each tym u see him.

Kim said...

You didn't "fall in love" with him! You are confused, like so many sexual abuse victims are! Please don't do something stupid with your life! You never know what he is capable of doing! He might attack another poor girl again or even worse, he could target your child when you have one with him!!!! I don't know if is too late to report him to the authorities, but please don't get involved with this monster!!!!

mccoy said...

"u'v fallen in love" & yet ur still asking silly questions?
Maybe u'll prefer a guy with 100% perfection record past who u have "fallin in like with"!!!

Anonymous said...

How manage? How do you even speak to someone who abused u sexually???? In d world we live in fallen in love means already sleeping with him, dis time with consent. No judging o! But Sweetie??, man,marry and sexual abuse are not meant to be used in the same sentence. Yeah, forgiveness we teach and preach...and people change yeah, buh what's on d inside will always come out and this time again.Sometimes common sense wins it.

Anonymous said...

How manage? How do you even speak to someone who abused u sexually???? In d world we live in fallen in love means already sleeping with him, dis time with consent. No judging o! But Sweetie??, man,marry and sexual abuse are not meant to be used in the same sentence. Yeah, forgiveness we teach and preach...and people change yeah, buh what's on d inside will always come out and this time again.Sometimes common sense wins it.

Anonymous said...

Don't be stupid!

Meek And Gentle said...

Of course you cannot forget a man who sexually abused you but a lot of things could have been responsible for that including you. Well, if he's really a changed man and you can live with the memories, then you might consider marrying him.
Handling Premarital Sexual Urges

Anonymous said...

Someone that sexually abuses anyone is undisciplined so he can do it to anyone at anytime

Anonymous said...

Is he d only man on earth? Wen u r Sexually abused remember it can never go out of ur mind it only takes God's intervention 4 such memory 2 wipe off nd hw can u fall in lov wt such a beast. My dear d bitter 2rut is dt such union ll never last so u beta stop dt u call relationship wt him º°˚˚°ºoo, If nt such ll end up abusing u childre 2moro

S̶̲̥̅̊W̶̲̥̅̊E̶̲̥̅̊E̶̲̥̅̊T̶̲̥̅̊S̶̲̥̅̊ H̶̲̥̅̊O̶̲̥̅̊N̶̲̥̅̊E̶̲̥̅̊Y̶̲̥̅̊ S̶̲̥̅̊U̶̲̥̅̊G̶̲̥̅̊A̶̲̥̅̊R̶̲̥̅̊ said...

Abeg linda enof ☀̤̣̈̇F all τ̲̅ђis kindergartens questions jooor Ϟ relationships!

Ȋ̝̊†̥ makes ♍ξ sick jare.....can't βε̲̣̣̣̥ low †̥ βε̲̣̣̣̥ answering such child's questions abeg! D̶̲̥̅̊ answer †̥ D̶̲̥̅̊α† question Ȋ̊§ obvious already....S̲̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴͡ why dsturb Ŵi̶̲̅τ such? *rme*

Stella said...

♈ε̲̣̣̣̥s I can

Anonymous said...

if u realy love him go ahead, many ladies are out dere lookin for a life partner sexually abuse or not.

Anonymous said...

JƱڪτ̲̅ follow U̶̲̥̅̊я heart.since U̶̲̥̅̊ still love him much and U̶̲̥̅̊ have forgiven him.

Anonymous said...

Ask God 4 mercy and pray ova it so dat u wil nt make mistake u knw marriage is 4 life time

Anonymous said...

'U have not forgotten', and u r considering marrying him; u must b sick in d brain.

princess said...

U̶̲̥̅̊ better run very far away frm him.

betty said...

4give & 4get,live life in it's fulness. Though it's not easy, but 4giveness will help u find happiness. I'm not saying u shld marry him & I'm not saying u shld but if u totally 4give him, u'll find an inner peace within u which will lead u 2 d right man

Anonymous said...

U shouldnt marry him, since u cant 4get wat he did. Jst let him knw , so he can free u...shikena

Anonymous said...

(˘̯˘ ) I doubt this 1 was abused.if you were truly truly abused,my dear.the man's sight alone wud av irritated u,u wud av hated talking2him or bin around him not 2talk of give him a chance n den falling in luv wit him.and now even considering marrying him.hmmmm my dear,1ce an abuser always an abuser o,I hope no b on ur kids he wud continue.#okbye *bbmstraightface*

Anonymous said...

If u truely love him then go ahead becos love concurs all tinz and mybe he does not what u to transfer dat hatred to other men

Anonymous said...

Are u a learner??

Anonymous said...

If u see it in him dat he had changed really,dnt jst rush into marryin him buh gv him some time to get 2 knw him more,if ur hrt is really down 4 his lv,go ahead nd marry him nd try 2 forget wot hapnd.

Anonymous said...

He may sexually abuse u in marraige,so my dear tink twice.

Anonymous said...

Lol.... See question! It depends on what d incident reminds you of. It was prolly good that's why you fell in love with him and also considering to marry him. I've met a lot of abused women and they are traumatized for life..... Take the "abuse" out of your question because it definitely wasn't one.

Jones said...

Yes. Marry him n make sure u poison him. So e die slowly.

Anonymous said...

The height of low self esteem n depravity if the mind...dunno how young u were,but bliv me u ll Neva b com4table wen any kid comes to stay..

Chimamanda Stephens said...

Tho pple change...but its risky 2 marry him bcos he might abuse ur daughter,ur baby sister or ur neighbor!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Kill him n kill urself.

redhead said...

Seems like they are frying dodo on your head.

Anonymous said...

if u luv him 4giv him and acept him

Mimi said...

Hey girl.. if you have already fallen in love with him, am sure you have forgiven him already. You have had intimate moments with him and i think the abuse issue hardly comes up. So go for it..!

Dave D said...

Lmao...he wants another taste of ur soup#but u knw wat dey say''love conquers all''

Dave D said...

Lmao...he wants another taste of ur soup#but u knw wat dey say''love conquers all''...linda post my comment o

Anonymous said...

A man who could bring himself to abuse a woman sexually leaves much to be desired.

Anonymous said...

MY dear first put it in prayes den let God act on ur behalf.

Anonymous said...

Marry jo.... Shey u love him! If u wait u go old o..

Moneymaker said...

Go ahead and marry him, the devil you know is better than an angel you haven't seen.

Michael Babatope said...

Naturally, there nothing wrong, he his just going to continue from where he finish. I've said it before, the devil you know is better than an angel you haven't seen! So, forget the past and move ahead, marry him and pray God should correct every bad impression he might have created. Oko won lode o!

Sexily Endowed said...

U get urself confused. How can u fall in luv wit him if u haven't 4given him & enjoys his dick while being abused? U already hav an answer to ur question so go marry am b/4 he will change his mind lolz..... #FACT, de reason we fall in luv wit some1 is cuz we enjoy their company & always wanna be wit de person. #okbye

Anonymous said...

Linda even u know that this post is STUPID! It has already answered itself, yet u put it up to annoy LIBers haba! D girl says shez inlove with him §o obviously she has forgiven him already... But i gotta ask,u did nt seek advice from pple wen u began fraternizing with ur molester so why now? Pls go n take several seats smwhere ______/ its ur type dt rily baffle me daily with ur sense of reasoning.



Ms Valerie

Anonymous said...

Are you in love?
in a relationship with him?
desperate?
doe he have money?
no other bf/fiance/suitor?
I dont see the dilema here..
You seek advice when you are torn, not when its clear cut. If he abused you and you got into a relationship where he could propose to you and are still not over it, you should seek counselling for the trauma/stockholm syndrom or prayer, whichever you feel most comfortable with

Anonymous said...

Ur talk no get meanin abeg

Anonymous said...

Are you insane? Are you a learner? If the answers to the question above is NO! Then don't marry him. The cane used 2 flog you when you were young is still close by. He'd abuse you again there's no disputing that. Men never finish na!

Anonymous said...

Marry him na ! Let him molest your sisters, ur mama , ur house-girl, ur neighbours eheeen dat tym u will now understand dat such attitude runs in d blood ... There is a very hi possibility he will molest sum1 again

Jolo said...

Yes......u can still marry him provided his proposal is from the heart....'we all av sinned and come short of the glory of God'...bt for HIS mercies. Dearie, please 4give and 4get 4ever.

God bless you

Anonymous said...

I think he wants to clear his conscience. His apology is enuf. Nwannem run away from him ooooooo...ng owerri

Emeka Okonkwo said...

You are asking for advice after falling in love. U better go and report him to the police to save other young girls and the save yourself future shame..

Anonymous said...

Dear friend , please be careful. Don't be gullible cos this same man will do d evil act to your kids. Open your eyes, use your head. Don't be deceived by his proposal.

Anonymous said...

Of course you can marry him. Every one of us did some really bad things while growing up (I did worse things myself that I am so ashamed to think about) But you have to be sure he is well matured now and no longer have abusive tendencies.

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile who is the girl in the pic. She looks really nice. Linda I am seriously searching. Won't mind if you hook us up.

Anonymous said...

If u can forgive him, sure u can marry him. Am sure u ve done worse finz than that.

Anonymous said...

Since You love him and he has apologise then you just have to let go everything he has done to you.. That is real love::

Anonymous said...

Hear yourself, you have fallen in love with him, marry him now! Wetin come be our own for there. Linda pls unto the next one jare.

Anonymous said...

If he is genuinely in love with you then forget the past and marry him.

Gaia said...

He sexually abused you and you are actually CONSIDERING marrying him.... words fail me *speechless*

Anonymous said...

Marry Him if u are Sincerely in love wit Him.

Gaia said...

Ok, I got my voice back now... If I were you I would throw this guy in hell and walk away smiling! He apologised and you think thats it??? If he could abuse you when you were young and defenseless, do you think he is going to change NOW??? He might not abuse you sexually anymore but physically and mentally nko? You will never get past it babe, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!

Anonymous said...

u r very stupid 4 considering it and 4 asking that question. sumone who abused u and all the children in the compound i guess. marry him so u can be the wife of the man who fingers 8 yrs old girl am certain he will make a good father.when u see him tell him 10 shege for me.

Anonymous said...

marry him and his going to sexually abuse your daughter... its not love you feel, its the feeling of acceptance and the idea of being inlove.... walk away

Anonymous said...

'Fallen in love' With d guy olredy sounds Lyk u Av 4given him.go 4 d shot if u love him n pehaps find out about his sexual lyf,mayb he doz dis more dan u may knw.if u marry him i wish u a happy married lyf n pipo chnge 2 dou.

Anonymous said...

Yes, please do.

Anonymous said...

Yaaaah!it is good if you can marry him and that will even make you forgive him. He might have come to his senses and realized his mistake. If you can love him, marry him. May Almighty God guide you alright.

lawboy said...

its almost impossible for you to forget such thing, but love covers multitude of sin. if you genuinely love him then go ahead....there is always a cover when necessary

memphis said...

Are yu sure yur in luv or yur just infatuated? Its a common mistake wr these 2 traits clash. Der's a possibility dat he'll b horrible in later yrs, nd den yu rmbr wat he did 2yu. Can yu continue wit d marriage yu swore 2kip 4beta 4worse? If yur answer yes, den yu luv him. If yur considerin d possibilities of any miscomfort yu mite face nd can't cope wit, den pls pls pls, run away 4rm him..... Nd 2 ME :D

Anonymous said...

I had a similar experience wen I was in secondary school,I still weep wen I remember what he did to me. Cos I was so young den,to me I can neva have anything to do with such a person again in my life,if u marry him,he will still do it again n again.they r animals

memphis said...

Are yu sure yur in luv or yur just infatuated? Its a common mistake wr these 2 traits clash. Der's a possibility dat he'll b horrible in later yrs, nd den yu rmbr wat he did 2yu. Can yu continue wit d marriage yu swore 2kip 4beta 4worse? If yur answer yes, den yu luv him. If yur considerin d possibilities of any miscomfort yu mite face nd can't cope wit, den pls pls pls, run away 4rm him..... Nd 2 ME :D

Anonymous said...

As an abused victim i wouldnt....anyone who can do that to you has no respect for you..and trust me you would suffer more when you get married as he might abuse you more whether physically or sexually or even your daughter if you have one......the fact your asking you know its wrong.....you need therapy to heal first before marriage....how do you know if your the only one hes done that to/....you know hes past yet you want to marry a paedophile..............my opinion...TERMINATE THAT MARRIAGE, DONT GO ON WITH IT

danachuka said...

Be warned. Such men need a shrink to examine their heads and if he hasn't gotten help yet be rest assured he's gonna sexually attack your daughter too in the future. Don't say I didn't warn you

Anonymous said...

If you have not forgotten it then dont go ahead.

Anonymous said...

There's nofin bad in it d most important thing is Love marry him
AK'

Anonymous said...

I pity you.

Anonymous said...

better pray very well before you attempt such .. he is an abuser an apology cannot change that . please think of your unborn kids he could very well do the same thing to your daugther in future .. abeg no put wahala for your neck oh

Anonymous said...

Babe talk true its revenge on your mind..as long as u haven't forgotten,everytime he mounts you,you'll have flashes...I still do...Way to go girl..marry him and kill him slooooowly,make him beg for mercy...there are a 1001 ways to do it.

ugo.m. said...

Is dt even possible,I think d both of u nid to check ur mental status on d oda hand he may have changed and is seeking to right his wrong abt u being inlove dts nt right.

Anonymous said...

Dont worry marry him , he will then do the same thing to tour daughter , then to your neighbours child and then a lil girl in your church, mayb ur eyes go clear by the.

Dee said...

LINDA PLS PERMIT ME TO SAY THIS. SHE IS THE BIGGEST FOOL I HAVE EVER HEARD OF, HOW CAN U FALL IN LOVE WIV SUCH MAN, PREPARE FOR THE WORSE WEN U SAY I DO TO HIM MUNTULA,EWU. ABEGI MAKE WE READ BETTER STORY,I'L RATHER READ ABT COSSY NOW SEF DAN DIS CRAP.

Anonymous said...

What a question, If i were in ur shoes, I wouldnt marry him.What even moved you to be friends with someone like that in the first place?You shouldnt dignify such a person with ur friendship in the first place.
Theres no reason cogent enough to walk down the aisle with him.
For him to have abused u at a young age,he would abuse a younger person as well while you are married to him.
Sha use ur head,not let ur emotions becloud ur thinking.

Anonymous said...

U still haven't forgotten but u fell in love wit him??...pls since u r already in luv wit him...jst move on nd 4get abeg!!

Anonymous said...

Just be rest assured dat u might not be the only person he molested as a child. I'll strongly advice u not to, u can have a son who will inherit dat evil act from his dad( don't knw if dat's possible) but please don't do it! If he was an adult while u where a child den, he stil probably has d potentials to molest some other child even when he's a granpapa, he might molest ur grandchildren! Beware!!!

Anonymous said...

Beta dnt marry him O̶̷̩̥̊͡Ooº°˚ ˚°ºo , cos he'll tranfer his paedophilia trait to U̶̲̥̅̊я kids. A̶̲̥̅̊₪D̶̲̥̅̊ ​Ђôẃ r U̶̲̥̅̊ sure he's nt abusd oda kids too D̶̲̥̅̊α̲̅τ̲̅ had placed curses d him?

Slimy said...

ℓ cant liv wit dat bt since u'v fallen in love u berra watch it to prevent mor shocks.

Anonymous said...

Since you have forgiven him, try to eased it off ur mind

Anonymous said...

Don't be a fool girl! He will definitely abuse another young girl.Once and pervert always a pervert

miz Osa said...

You can marry him. I don't think there is anything wrong.

Anonymous said...

My dear i knw is nt dat easy bt pls try N 4give N 4get,E has change 4 gud dat is Y e ask u 2 marry him,free ur mind n moving ahead.

RJ said...

He abused you when u were young? he should be quite old now and u r in love with him... hmmm...u clearly dunno what you want; make up ur mind and move on, stop asking us

vivian said...

please don't try it becos you are not going to forget that particular incidence. the scar will always be there and it will hinder your marital joy. secondly how are sure he has changed from his old ways? most times the return back to you becos they are facing some hard times and they might attribute it to the wrong they have done. please prayerfully follow this issue , who know he might be your real husband but don't be faster than God.

dee bee said...

If u love him marry him

vivian said...

please don't try it becos you are not going to forget that particular incidence. the scar will always be there and it will hinder your marital joy. secondly how are u sure he has changed from his old ways? most times they return back to you becos they are facing some hard times and they might attribute it to the wrong they have done. please prayerfully follow this issue , who knows he might be your real husband but don't be faster than God.

Anonymous said...

Re u just looking for comments or re u retarted/demented. Pls just find seat n nyash down

Anonymous said...

Madam u av d solution 2 ur problem so pls dnt bug us

Anonymous said...

For even giving it a thot u r obviously in love so a beg nor Ask us mumu question.

Anonymous said...

Master woman,go n seat down

Anonymous said...

Opeke 1. Pls go n av a seat

Anonymous said...

Re u a learner

Kehinde Segun said...

my dear ,flee from the devil cos the memory will never go away.....

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